E IRON PIRATE A Ttain TaU of Strang Happening on the Sea By MAX PKMBKRTOrr ooo- CHArTER XX. Tt waa Inter that Captain Black. Doctor Onbart and myself entered the 7 :30 train from Ramsgate; leaving the itw tender, now disguised, with the man John and eight of the most turbulent among the crew of the nameless ship aboard her. We had come without hindrance through the crowded water of the Channel : and. styl ing ourselves a Norwegian whiter In bal last had gained the difficult harbor with out arousing suspicion. At the flrt Black had thought to leave me on the steamer ; but I gave htm solemn word that I would not seek to quit him. that I would rot In any way betray him while the truce lasted, and that I would return, wherever I was, to the tender in the harbor at the end of a week. I will not pause to tell you my own thoughts when I set foot on shore again I-could not help but carry my memory to the last occasion when, with Roderick and Mary, I had come to London in the very hope of getting tidings of this man who now sat with me in a Kent Coast express. Where were the others then the girl who had been as a sister to me, and the man aa a brother; how far had the fear of my death made sad that childish face which had known such little sadneas In Its sixteen years of life? It was odd to think that Mary might be then returned to Lon don, and that I, whom perchance she thought dead, was near to her, and yet. in a sense, mora cut off from her than in the grave itself. It was after 10 o'clock that tht ride terminated, and. following Black and Os bart into a closed carriage, I was driven from the station. We drove for fifteen minutes, staying at last before a house in a narrow street, where we went up stairs to a suite of rooms reserved for us. After an excellent supper Osbart left at. but Black took me to a double-bedded room, saying that he could not let me out of his sight. "Boy, if you make one attempt to play me false," said he, "III blow your brains out." On the next morning Black quitted the house at an early hour after breakfast, but he locked the door of the room upon Osbart and myself. "Not," as he said, "because I can't take your word, but be cause I don't want anyone fooling in here." He returned in the evening at 7 o'clock, and found me aa he had left me, reading a novel. The following day was Thursday. I hall always remember it, for I regard It as one of the most memorable days in my life. Black went out aa usual early In the morning: hia object being, as on the preceding day, to find out, if he could, what the Admiralty were doing in view of the robbery of the Bellonic. We had been left thus about the space of an hour when there came a telegram for the doctor, who Tead it with a fierce exclamation. "The captain wants me urgently," said he, "and there's nothing to do but to leave you here. You must put up with the In dignity of being locked in. The man wno owns this house is one of us." When he was gone I sat in the great armchair, pulling it to the window, and taking up my book. I could hear the hum of town, the rumbling of busea, and the subdued roar of London awake. I could even see people in the houses at the other aide of the leads, and it occurred to me. What if I open that casement and call for help? I had given a pledge, it is trus : but should a pledge bind under such con ditions? I was in the very throes of a mental struggle when the strange event of the day happened. I chanced to look op from the book I had been trying to read, and I saw a remarkable object upon the leads outside my window. It was the figure of a man, looking into my room : and pres ently, when he had given me Innumerable cods and wink a, be took a knife from bis pocket, and opened the catch, stepping into the chamber with the nimble foot of goat apon a crag path. Then be drew a chair up to mine, slapped me upon the knee and aaid: "In the name of the law! I take yon by surprise; bat business, Mr. Mark Strong. In the first place I have wired to your friend, Mr. Roderick 8tewart, and I expect him from Portsmouth In a couple of hours ; in the second, your other friend, the doctor, la under lock and key, on the trifling charge of murder In the Midlands, to begin with. When we have Captain Black, the little party will be complete." I looked at him. voiceless from the sur prise of it, and be went on : "I needn't tell you who I am; but there's my card. We have aix men In the street ouulde, and another half dozen watching the leads here. You will be sensibls enough to follow my Instructions absolutely. Black, we know, leavea the country to-night in bis steamer. The probability la that he will com to fetch you at 7 o'clock I have frightened It all out of the people downstairs if he does, you will go with him. Otherwise, he's pretty sure to send someone for you, and, a yoo at the moment are our sole link be tween that unmitigated scoundrel and his arrest, I ask you to risk one step more, and return at any rate aa far aa the coast, that we may follow oka for the last time." I looked at hia card, whereon was the inscription, "Detective Inspector King, Scotland Yard ;" and I said at once : "I shall not only go to the coast, bat to hia tender, for I've given my word. What you may do In the meantime Is not my affair. I suppose he's made a sensa tion r . "Sensation 1 There Isn't another sub ject talked of In any house In Europe but, read that; and It's ten thousand In my pocket, any way!" Detective-Inspector King went as be bad come, paaslng noiselessly over the leads ; but ha left ma a newspaper, where in there was column after column con cerning the robbery of the Bellonic. At last, the police war on the trail of Cap tain Black ; yet I saw at once that, lack Ing my help, he would elude them. It was half past six when at last a man unlocked the door of my roam and entered. He was one of Black's negroes. "Sar will come quick." said he. "and leav his luggage. The master waits." He gave me no time for any eiplsna tlons. but took me by the arm. and. pas' ing from the house by a back door, he went some way down a narrow street There a cab waited for us, and we drove away, but not before one, who stood on the pavement, had made a slight signal to me, and called another cab. In him I recognised IVtectire Inspect King, and I knew that we were followed. CHAPTER XXI. We drove rapidly and took a train for Tilbury. The Journey was accomplished In something under an hour; and when we alighted and got upon the bank of the river, I saw a steam launch with the man John In the bows of her. I entered the launch and we started Immediately, going at a great pace towards Sheernee ; nd reached the Nore after some buffet with the seas In the open. At this point we sighted the tender, and went aboard her. when we made full speed towards the North Foreland. Black had made a coloasal mistake. from his point of view, in setting foot in England ; but the crowning blunder of his life was that fatal act of folly by which he had sought to shield me from the men. Now the object of letting Black reach his vessel again was aa clear aa daylight; it was not so much the man aa hia ship which they wished to take. But were we followed? I had 'seen nothing to lead me to that conclusion aa I came down the Thames; and now, fa vored by an Intensely dark night, we promised. If nothing should intervene, to gain the Atlantic In two days, and to be aboard that strange citadel which was our stronghold against the nations. There waa no algn of any warship pursuing; no indication whatever that the tender, then steaming at thlrteeo knots towards Dover, was watched or observed by any living being. I was dead worn out and slept twelve hours at the least, for It was afternoon when I awoke. Black waa not in the cabin, and I went above to him on the bridge. There was no land then to be een ; but the clear play of sparkling waves ahone away to the horlson over a tumbling sea. upon which were a few ships. Upon one of these he constantly turned his glass. By and by all the crew began to ob serve Black's anxiety and to crowd to the starboard side; but he told them noti ng, although he never left the bridge. It waa somewhat perplexing to me to ob serve that, while the great ship waa un doubtedly following ua, she did not gain a yard upon us. . This strange pursuit lasted three days and Into the third night; when I waa awakened from a snatch of sleep by the firing of a gun above my head. I got on deck, where my eyea were almost blinded by a great volume of tight which spread over the eea from a point some two miles away on our starboard bow. Wa had been in the Atlantic then for twenty-four hours, and I did not doubt for a moment that we had reached the nameless ship. Had there been any uncertainty, the wild joy of the men would have banished It. I heard the voice of Black singing, "Hands, stand by to lower boats !" At that moment the cruiser showed her teeth. Suddenly there waa a rush of flame from her bows, and a shell hissed above us the first sign of her attempt to stop us joining our own ship. We were no more than a Quarter of a mile from safety, but the run was full of peril, and, aa the launch stood out, the nameless ship of a sudden shut off her light. If possible to shield us la the dark. But the pursuer Instantly flooded us with her own arc, end. following It with quick shots, she hit the Jolly-boat at the third. Of the eight men there, only two rose when the bull bad disappeared. "Fire away!" cried Black, shaking his fist, and mad with passion ; "and get your hands In ; you'll want ail the bark you've got Just now." But we had hauled th men aboard as be spoke, and, though two shells foamed in the sea and wetted u to the akin In the paaaage, we were at the ladder of the nameless ship without other barm, and with fierce shouts the men gained the decks. For them It waa a glorious moment They bad weathered the-perils of a city, and stood where they could best face the crisis of the pursuit. It was a spectacle to move the most stolid apathy; the sight of a couple of hundred demoniacal figures lighted by the great white wave of light from the enemy's ship, their faces up turned aa they waited Black's orders, their hands flourishing knives and cut lasses, their hunger for the coo test be trayed In every gesture. "Boys," cried Black, Myooders a gov ernment ship. Yob know me, that I don't run after war scum every day, for that's not my business. But we're abort of oil, and the cylinders are heating. Boys, It's swing or take that ship and the oil aboard her." "Look out aft the torpedo !" A tiny Una of foam waa Just visible for a second in the way of the light ; but, the moment the cruiser bad shot It from her tuba, aba extinguished her are, leav ing na to light the waters wkh our own. There waa no difficulty whatever In fol lowing the Una of the deadly message. "Full speed astern !" roared Black, and the nameless ship moved backwards, fast er and yet faster. But the black death bearer followed her, as a shark follows a death ship ; wa seemed even o hare back ad Into its course it cams on aa though to strike us full amidships, but the great ship awung round with a majestic sweep, and aa wa waited braathleaely. the torpedo ' passed right under our bow, missing the ram by a hair's breadth. I We fired at the cruiser, hitting her right under the fuituel, and a second time near her fore guu. Nor did eh answer our firiug, but rolled to the swell appar ently out of actiou. I "Skipper, are you going aboard her now?" asked the matt "Roaring John." "She's doue by her looks, sud you'll gut no oil If ye duley. Karl, there, he ian't aa comfortable aa If he were lu his bed." The little Uennan euglnevr waa very far from It. He was almost desperate when minute by minute his stock of oil grew leas; and he raw from one to the other as though we hsd grease In eur pockets, and could (Ire It to him. BWk took due notice, but did not lose hia calm. You're quite sure she's done, John?" he asked, turning to the big man. "She's doue, I guess, or why don't she spit?" The words had scarce left his Ilpa when the cruiser's aft guua thuudered out aim oe t together, and gut shell passed through the very ceuter of our group. It cut the man John in half aa be might have been cut by a eword, and hi blood and flrah aplaabed ua, while the other half of him stood up like a bust upon the deck, and during one horrible momeut hia anna moved wildly, and there was a horrid quivering of the muscle of his face. Tbe second shot struck the roof of the turret obliquely, and glanced from It Into the sea. The destruction se-nued to move Black aa no more than a rain shower. 11 simply cried: "All hanJ to cover; I'm going to give era a taste of tbe machine guns;" and we re-entered the conning tower. Then, aa w began to move again, I swept the horlson with our light ; but this time, far away over the black waste of water, the signal waa answered. Number two!" aald Black, quit calm ly, when I told him, "and thia time a bat- tleosjjp. Well, boy, if we don't take that oil yonder In ten mlnutea you may say your prayers." CHAPTER XXII. The nameless ahip bounded forward In to the night, and soon waa not fifty yards away from her opponent. Never have I known anything akin to the episode when bullets rang upon our decks In hundred, and the dead and the living In the other ship lay huddled together. In a seething. struggling, moaning mass. We had open ed fire upon her before such of ber men as could be spared had got below. Let 'em digest that!" cried Black, aa he watched the havoc. I, who had not ceased to watch that distant light which marked another war ship on the horlson, knew that a second light had shone out aa a star away over tbe eea ; and now, when I looked again. I saw a third light. We were being sur rounded. The searchlights of the distant ships were clearer to my view every mo ment. Black aaw tbem, and took a sight from the glass. - Boy," he said, "you should have told me of thia. I see three lights, and that means a fleet." Are you going to ran for It?" I asked. Run for h, with two engines, yes ; but It's a poor business. And we'll have to fight r I saw the foremost Ironclad but two mllea away from us, and tbe others were sweeping round to rat us off If we at tempted flight. We lay with but two en gines working, and 'a speed of sixteen knots at the beet. Nor did we know from minute to minute when another engine would break down. At that moment there came a horrible sound of grating and tearing from the engine room, and it was succeeded by a moment of dead nad chill ing silence. "Tbe second engine's gone!" said a man above, quite rahnly. We found the crew sullen and mutter ing, but Fried rich, the engineer's eldest son, sat at the top of the engine room lad der, and tears rolled down his face. The great ship still trembled under the shock of the breakdown and waa not showing ten knots. Tbe foremost Ironclad crept up minute by minute; and before we had realised th whole extent of tbe mishap, she waa within gunshot of us; but her colleagues were soma mile away, she out pacing them all through it. "She signals to ua to let ber coma aboard." aaid "Four-Eyes." "Answer that we'll see In chips first," said Black, and be called for Karl and made signs to him. Those on th battleship made quit sura of us now, for tbey steamed on and came within three hundred yards of us. Black watched tbem as a beast watches the un suspecting prey. He stood, hia face knit In savage lines, hia hand upon the bell. I looked from th glass, and saw that no man was visible upon our decks, that our engine had ceased to move. W were motionless. Then in a second the bells rang out. There was again that frightful grating and tearing In th engine room. The nameless ship cam round to ber helm with a mighty sweep; she foamed and plunged In tbe seas; an turned her ram straight at the other; and, groaning s a great stricken wounded beast, she roared onward to tbe voyage of death. I knew then the fearful truth ; Black meant to sink the cruiser with bis ram. I alia 11 never forget that moment of terror, that grinding of heated steel, that plunge Into the seas. I waited for the crash, and In the suspense hours seemed to pass. As last there waa under the sea a mighty clap of submarine thunder. Dashed headlong from my post, I lay bruised and wounded upon the floor of steel. The roof above ma rocked; the walla shook and were bent; my ears rang with the deafening roar in them ; aeaa of foam mounted ; shrieks and the sound of awful rending and tearing drowned other about of men going to their death. And through all waa th hysterical yelling of Black, his defiance, his elation. (To be continued.) ' CealdW't root Hew. Miss DePIsyn (proudly) A doeen men offered me their bauds at the sea shore this summer. Miss Wlserly Indeed! How long have you been a atudent of palmis try! Wtil4 Part tew lare. "Have pity on me, darling," pleaded tbe poor but otherwise bouest young man ; "I cannot live without you." "What's the matter," queried the homely heiress; "have you lost your Jobr London cab driven ecrn an aggre gate of o'er 10,000 per day. I Itookakelt r Heho. om. ii nk- to idant mvsrlf boyhood's long neglected shelf, ,)nP, mor, t0 ol- tlMM(, volumes worn Which modern pages make forlorn, 1 0nr mor ,0 tn, moments speed With Outlet Castlemon. Mayne Reld I And "Boat Club" set, "The White Chief" there Ah, these were books, I do declare ! "Jack Hatard!" Joy! Again we meet By grace of Trowbridge line replete 1 And, 'pon my word, here's "Cudjo's Cave !" (Waa Cudjo not a "dandy" slave?) The "Scottish Chiefs" Is this. I guess. With "Thaddeua of Wamaw" yes! And this (I loaned It o'er and o'er) Is Stephens' "I-eft on Ibrador !" Pasa by that dogeared treasure? No! Tie Scott's entrancing "Ivanhoe! ' (How often of It clamour taught, n,ve Tom and I In tourney fought!) And here. Imploring boyhood's eye. The "I Jim of the Mohicans" Ilea! Hall! Hawkeys, Uncas, Chlngachgook ! ("lerslayer" la that next old book.) r Come, "Crusoe," pretty ragged, you A hundred times read through and through ! Your woodcuts blurred. While this one The far-marooned "Swiss Family !" And look ! Their loneeomenee confessed, "Aladdin." "Slnhad" and th ret Peer forth from rovers stained and dim. Awaiting cheek by jowl with Orluim ! I' pon this fadad back discern Th tempting wisard name of Vernal The title? Must be "Field of Ice" Or, no ; some "trip" of strange device. Munchausen, here; that, Gulliver; This, Coffin truthful chronicler. (The other three, of count, ar bricka. But can't beat "Boys of 70:") And you. O gift of gentler pen, U'ulfta A Icon's "Little Men!" And you, whom kindred soul creates, "Hans Blinker; or, The Sliver Skates !" But duty warns lake mother's dread "Stop, my son ; time to go to bed." In vain I'd beg: "One chapter more T Farewell, dear ahelf of boyhood's lore. St. Nichols. A Sarprlsa. It waa pouring rain, but tbe twlna did not mind It one bit, because they always liked ever so many rainy days when tbey were making a visit at grandma's. Grandma bad a big attic, filled full of tbe most wonderful things tluit you ever raw. There were large trunks full of queer ruffled colt and velvet knee-breeches. And there were bouncing bandboxes that held funny green ralashea and the biggest poke bonnets Imaginable. And then there waa the Noah's ark ! It waa not like your pretty painted one. which la full to the very top wltb a wonderful menagerie. It waa only a little old block box wlthoat any cover. And the auluiala! Uncle Jacob cut them all out of some piecea of wood wltb bis Jock knife, ever so many years ago, when be waa not much older than tbe twlna. And these anlmala were J list as funny-looking as all the rest of the things up In that queer old garret There were blue cows and pink lions and red-and-blnrk leopards, and when Uncle Jacob had finished tbem be dis covered that all tbe animals looked very much alike, so he wrote tbe name on the back of each one In great black painted letetrs. Polly and Patty lied this Noah's ark better than snythtng else In that whole attic, and tbey thought It was every bit as wonderful as Uncle Jacob did when be bad finished It so many years ago. So this rainy morning, after they bad finished their breakfast, these two little girls hurried up to the attic and ran straight to the corner under tbe eaves to get their precious treaaure. Patty got here first, but when she looked Into the box she said, "Ob ! ob ! oh!" very loud Indeed. "Why, what's the matter?" exclaim ed Polly, breathlessly. "There's a live animal In It!" whis pered Patty. "There's a beap of baby mice! A whole neat of them! And they're pink, 'stead of gray and furry. Peep In and see tbem, quick, Polly!" Polly shivered. "I don't dare to," she said. And then something happen ed that made both children scamper down those stair In a terrible rus) Tbe mother mouse came boms! MI guess we can't go up In the attic ever again," said Patty, woefully, M 'cause I'm not 'specially fond of mice, less they're In traps." But when Uncle Jacob went up Into tbe attic with ber after ulnner. there stood tbe Noah's ark Just where Polly bad left It The mice were gone. Ev ery one of them! And the twins are still wondering If the big yellow pussy cat could tell them a secret, for she was washing her face, and she looked so knowing and wise. Youth's Com panion. The Mother Bird. It has been said by observers of birds that some of them will feed their young if they are caged, and If tbey fall, after a time, to release them, tbey will bring tbem a poison weed to est so that death may end their captivity. This Is bard to believe, but an apparently well a thwntlcated Incident Is cited to prove If. Three young orioles were captured nl were Immediately caged ami Mm cage was hung In a tne. The mother noil tame, calling to the Utile one, and In a llttt while she brought them itie worms. She continued for several day to feed Ihent, without paying much at tention to the jxTsons who were about, but one day she lnught them a sprig o? green In the morning, ami dleap prared. In less than an hour the young blnls were dead. An examination of the sprig showed that tt was the deadly larkspur, which, It la aald, will kill full grown cattle. There I, of course, a possibility that the mother bmught them the sprig by mistake, but to he Here that would Int to doubt the pn tectlve Instinct that naturalists attrib ute to blnls and aulmsl. Tnaa r -Trv j. Kddle drew s lien sitting In a box. Whvn be came to look at It he acci dentally tunted the slate on its end, and lo! the hen dtanpiirarcd and a calf was In ber place. Hew Walk ttlra. IVrhai It has never oecurnM to the boys and girls that there Is a good way and a had way to walk uiwtalr. Hear what a well known physician says shout It There are few iorne who know how to walk upstairs nierty. t'sually a person will tread on tbe hall of his foot In taking each step, spring ing hlmeelf up to tint next step. This 1 not only (Iresome, but Is wearing on the muscles, ss It throws the entire suended weight of the body on the legs snd the feet. In walking upstairs the feet should be placva sijuarely down on the step, heel and all. snd then the ascent ahould be made without hurry. In this wsy there will be no strsln on any particular muscle, but each will do Its work In a natural manner. QI AM AN HEART TOO LARQI. I)or ( That ('try Tells ( OS- rtttU mt OlrnpU Umtmmm. A German medical man publishes some Interesting comparisons made at the Olympian games reapectlng the all and stamina of the heart of the English. American and German nun- pet I tors reiectlvely. Dr. Smith says that sa soon as he examined before the games the hearts of German sportsmen he could prophesy that they would prove no formidable rlvala. The sise of tho heart was so abnormally great that In contests requiring strength, en ergy snd endurance It was physically ltioMitlble that ttwy should succeed. Results proved the truth of this fore cast, and It Is notable that the few German athletes who did win places were In poelon of the minimum sized hearts. In the American sportsmen the heart conditions were In striking contrast to those of the Germans. Many of the American athletes were found to pos sess besrts smaller In dimensions than the smallest heart ever measured In a German nospitai. An invinnme sprinter possessed the smallest heart among the American competitors. A German-American athlete, rather sig nificantly, was found to have the largest Among the Englishmen examined the heart was found to be slightly larger than that of the Americans, though smaller than that shown by any other nation. A parallel case which occurred st the games strikingly Illustrated the difference In form between the English snd the German athletes. In spite of an Indisposition a German athlete took part In a certain contest. Subsequent examination proved that his heart bad Increased at the end of the struggle to double Its previous size. An En glishman, suffering from the same In disposition, returned from the contest as winner and hia heart had become smaller. The writer points out that by a wrong aystein of training and In Judicious living German athletes are doing much to cultivate heart and nerve complaints on a serious scale. Joke em tbe I'ro feasor. The scholarly William K. llyerly, professor of matheiunllcs at Harvard, was once asked by a student bow to de velop a retentive memory. Tbe pro fessor answered that ordinary mental exercise was sufficient to secure a good memory, whereat the student ask ed If he might test the mental capacity of bis Instructor. Professor Byerly agreed and the student asked him to listen to and remember several varied Items for a test He began i "One quart of whisky." "Urn!" said the professor. "Six pounds of sugar, a pint of sour milk, three onions, half a gallon of mo lasses and two raw eggs" "Urn !" said the professor. Two green apples, twenty -six pea nuts, one and a half cucumbers and four mince pies." "Urn!" said the professor. "A package of starch, sixty-seven cakes of yeast and the sklna of seven bananas. Got that down?" "Yes," answered Dr. Byerly. "How does It taste?" asked the stu dent And when you hear a man boast of bis ancestors It's a safe bet that bis de scendants will have no occasioa to boast of theirs. 'JHI "How many children have ynuT" Two living sud one writing Jokes for a dally pmr." Clevelnnd, leader. "Is Mamie taking a day "T Ut cele brate her birthday?" "he's tak ing a year off." Iloaton Transcript. "You unly don't meet them social ly." "Oh, no; only to have a good time, you know." l.os Angeles News. Rettd-I see they have s new dance, called the automobile dance. Greene It It a breskdown? -Votikers Ststea- illBII. Thst handsome Jack Savage kissed me last night." "I thought he would. He told me he felt awfully sorry for you." Cleveland Plain I hitler. "What are you taking for your mid?" I "Nothing." "Nothing?" "Hut my dear follow " "Nothing. I any, not even advice. Fine day. Isn't lt?" Cleveland leader. Upson IM you get that "rundown feeling" every spring? Downs Kvery spring! Why, I've been lilt by sn auto U.itce s week fur the Issl two months! letnilt Free Press. Neighbor llerr littler, mine home Immediately. Your wlfo has siirfoest ed herself with ga. Iluher Heavens ! There'll be a nice gas bill to py. Wiener Sakmwltshlstt "Did you say your new doctor's nam Was Steed ?" "Yes; Doctor Steed." "My! I'd be sfrsld to engage him; sounds as If lie were a great charger." Philadelphia ledger. Mr. Jawtmck (savagely ) I wish you were somewhere I'd never lm stile to see you again. Mrs. Ja whack (sweet ly) Well, at sny rate. It's nice of you tt wish me In heaven. Clcvelsnd lead er. She Did ytu aver see th Homer twins? He 'Yes. She-Iton't you think the boy Is the picture of his fattier? He -Yes and I also think th girl I the phonograph of ber mother. Chi cs go New a Nervous Porter (In a single breath, to hotel doorkeeper) I s'toe yer don't aipen ter know untndy wot ain't stop pin' 'ere wot ain't sent for no one not to move no luggage nor nottilnk, do jrr? Sketch. First Millionaire Hani lines these days. Second Millionaire Yes ; our relatives are wstttng for us to die to gel our money, snd the rent of the world doesn't want to wait that long. New York Sun. Jack- Some of the greatest trtchclnre of the sge tell us that marriage Is a flat failure. Krs (evasively ) Wall er sll married couples don't have to live In flats. Some ran live In cot tuges. IlluMtrnted Bits. Hubby My et. you will pardon me, but aren't those griddle cake a lit t IA burnt? Wlfey (almost In tears) O, Tom! And I tried to make them so pretty for you with that pymgraph set you gave me. lloetnn Transcript. I-gnl Repartee. lawyer I say, doctor, why are you always running us Iswyers down? Doctor (dryly) Well, your profession doesn't make an gels of men, doe It? lawyer Why, no; you certainly have the advantage o.' ns there, doctor. The Just Judge. "Judge," said Mr. Htarveu to the magistrate who had re cently mine to boerd with her, "I'm particularly anxious to have you try this chicken soup." "I have tried It." replied the magistrate, "and my decis ion Is that the chicken has proved an alibi." "What flahlng on the Hnhbutu?" ex claimed the clergyman, reprovingly. "Don't you know that little boys who fish on the Sabbath go to the bad place?" "Huh, 1 guess dnt's right" replied the bad boy, disgustedly. "I couldn't a struck no worso place dan dl." Philadelphia Press. . There Is no sport lu a cumtxTsome machine," he bautered. "Give me tho blooded horse. Wby, with a horse I can take the fence every tlmo." The motorist laughed. Take the fence, eh? Why, that Is nothing. Wltb an autoino blle you ran take the fence, the gate, the tree, the pump, and the barn all In two or thn seconds." Chicago Dully News. Breaklaar the News. "Alnaka Is a land of adventure and romance," said a Khl miner. "Many queer things uuve happened In Alsaka," lie continued, smiling "many wretch ed things. Sve times It has been nec essary to break sad news to mothers at homo, and sometimes this news has been broken with wonderful skill. "An Alaskan called on a woman In New Hampshire to toll ber of her son's death In the Klondike. "Yes, lady,' he said to the weeping mother, 'I was with him to the end. I seen blm die. And I tell ye, ma'am, as be wus dyln' be looked Jest like aa angel.' 'Did her the mother sobbed. 'He certainly did, ma'am,' said the Klondlksr. 'Swlngln' back'ards and for'ards In tbe air thar ye'd 'a' thought be bad wings.' "Kansas City Journal. He Kiiw Better. "Very pleaaaut out this way now, Isn't It?" growled the sarcastic Mr, Baeklota, as ho plowed through th snow and mud. "Not very, to be suro," replied Sub hubs, "but there's one comfort about It " "Hub! What a cheerful liar you are I" Philadelphia Press,