11
IN THE NATIONAL HALLS OF CONGRESS
Saturday, Jiirm 10.
W sshlnglnn, June. III. i lui rennte
uppnt the entire day debuting Him hill
to Incorporate n nli i p citmil cnnm cling
lake F.rle with tlm Ohio river, and
again adjourned without hII in on It,
'J' I in Mil Waft SMVHgely attacked hy I'nt
tersoii a In the Interest of speculation,
n hi I was as warmly (Intended l.y Knox
nml Nelson. Lalolletlc, offered a num
ber of amendments, which vv i n
on the table.
During a lull In the proceedings tlm
president pro teiu announced hi signa
ture to the statehood liill.
Tim senate, adjourned at 4 :.')() p. m,
for want of a j ii or u in .
Washington, J n ii H 111. After 40
in I mi ten iluhaltt today th house, hy the
vote of 1 2tl to H'J adopted t tin senate
resolution ro v ll i iik for th purchase
of material nml equipment fur use In
the construction of the Panama canal of
domestic manufacturer and of tho low.
'Mt responsible bidder, it li Ii fin tin presi
dent utml I In nnv caie divin the hiiU or
tender therefor to he extortionate or
unreasonable. 'I' he adoption of the
resolution came nfter a long liw-un limi
of purchasing canal material in open
market, while the -tiiindry civil I 1 1 1
Win under consideration.
The sundry civil hill also was passed.
It curried total appropi itit ion of $'!,-
f7H,(H(), nearly flirt, OiiO.lMK) of which
in for thu c intinnatlon of work on the
anal.
Friday, Juno 15.
asmngiou, .Mine in. v lien mo
Meuatn took up the kittrrdg sea level
ennui hill today, Senator Teller spoke
in support of that plan, lie argued
that a thin government had practically
prohibited the French government, and
later had declined to allow private cor
porationn toemhiik in thecannl enter
pride, the Fulled State can not afford
to lieiiitate on account of the cost in
money or time The fact that a sea
level cnnal would cimt moie than a
lock canal should not deter thin country
from giving to the world the hen! poH
sidle waterway hut wren thu ocean
which limit ntTfHHarily he on the tide
level, lie expressed wie opinion mai u
it lien level canal could he htiilt for thu
eame price a a lock canal, all the en
guiem would favor it as the best possi
lile canal. Hence he contended that in
etandiug for a lock canal Chief Knyi
neer K'cvciis discredit himself aa an
engineer.
Wahington, June 10. The house to
lay by a vote of 110 to Htl voted in
favor of a ln k cannl across the Isthmus
of Panama, the amendment to the sun
dry civil hill to thin effiit being pre
sented hy Littuuer, of New York.
With meuilwrs of congress sitting on
the short stepa in the aisles of the
lioute, around the space in groups, the
galleries tilled, and with Burton, of
Ohio, pointer in liand, discussing charts
to show the difference between the tea
level ami lock canal, the bonne present
d every appearance of a clans room.
Thursday, June 14.
Washington, June 14. The senate to
day decided to vote next Thursday on
the Panama nea-level canl hill; ac
cepted the conference reports on the
diplomatic an 1 naval appropriation
bill, the former complete and the
latter partial; paired a hill limiting
the liability that may he HHsumed hy
individualn to national hanks; adopted
Morgan's re-noluiion relative to the con
trol of the I'aiiHmn railroad ; admitted
A . W. ISennon an the snccesnor of Hur
ton, of Kaunas; received the credentials
of Senator elect Dnpont, of Ielawre;
lintcncd to a speech l y Dryden in sup
port rt a lock cannl ncroHH the iHthmus
of 1'aiiama, and bIho punned several
Hi'iui-private hills.
WashiiiKton, June 14. After elimi
nating the appropriation of $100,000
for the fin t her tfauyiiiK of the waters of
the United States under the direction
of the irenlogifnl eiuvey, the Iioiiho to
day Kruw weary of economy and in
rreased tho appropriations for further
tents of structural materials, litfinten
and other coals, although theappropri
atiens committee labored tealouHly to
lotain them at their original figure.
The conference report on the omni
bus lighthouse bill was adopted.
The report of the conferees of the
agricultural appropriation bill was
submitted.
Wednesday, June 13.
Washington, June lS.The senate
..l,...iu.l uMtlimit ttivlainn the conference
.fc.i'.v -j. . ........ - -
report on the statehood bill at : 2 0 1
For Early Adjournment.
Washington, June 12. In an effort
to bring an adjournment of congress by
July 1 or earlier, Sunator Allison,
chairman of the senate Hepublican
steering committee, will call the com
mittee together Tburpday to consider a
program for the remainder of the ses
eion. With the statehood question out
of the way, it is now believed that the
railroad rate conference report and the
meat inspection bill are practically the
only obstructions It is not likely
there can be any agreement this ses
sion on the type of the canal.
Tillman Seek Information.
Washington, June 12. The Tillman
Hopkins controversy of a few wuekB ago
concerning the status of affairs of the
Chicago National bank was revived in
the senate today by an inquiry made
by Tillman concerning the status of his
resolution for an investigation of the
course of that bank, of w hich John 11.
Wilsh was president. The Inquiry was
directed to Aldrich, chairman of the
committee on finance, before which the
esolution is pending.
o'clock thin evening.
'I he report was debated by Korsker,
Itailey, Patterson, Money, Imhois,
Morgan, Stone, McCiimhnr and others.
Ihihoin aiiuouiii ml bis Intention to
vote againut the acceptance of the re-
port, bcnuine of the nminNioii of the
null-polygamy provision inserted by
i . ....
inn senate, ami In ilotng so he took oc
casion to review his own political ex
Peril lice in dealinir with lh Mormonn
saying that he knew his stand on the
qiieniion woiini result in inn enforced
retirement from the senate. Tim mm.
ale also listened during the day to an
argument by Millard in opposition to
iqii nea level riuiama canal hllsl.
Washington, June 1.1. There was a
round of applause from both sides of
the chamber when Hamilton, of Michi
gan, reported to the house today that
the conferees on stated (Kid had agreed
reached an agreement and asked that
it be printed III the Kecord.
The dny was spent on the sundry
civil appropriation bill, and, 'kwlth the
exception of an hour occupied in con
sidering the proposed abolition of re
ceive! of laud ofllccH, which measure
the house refused to sanction, the en
tire day wa-1 taken up with the connid-
ration of appropriations for the United
States Geological survey, members of
the appropriations committee being in
severe criticism of tho officials of the
survey.
Tuesday, June 12.
Washington, June 12. Py a vote of
ir)4 to 0 the senate today decided to con
sider thu bill extending from 2H to 'M
bourn the time that livestock may be
kept in can without unloading. The
passage of the bill was advocated by
W urien, who said that under its terms
the lime can only be extended on the
written application of the owners of the
itock, and that olteu unloading is
more hani 'nl to the slock than to ex
tend for a few hours the time of their
confinement.
After a lengthy discussion tbe bill
was pased.
Washington, June 12. With a very
large proportion Of the members pres
ent, due to the activity of the Republi
can and democratic whips, the house
today passed n rule sending the railroad
rate hill hack to conference as af-ked
for by the senate, without even an ex
pression of its wishes as to any of the
nmendmeutn. The rule win debated
for 40 minutes. The leaders partici
pated in the discussion, the Democrats
taking the position that the time was
opportune to concur in ttie sleeping car
amendment and instruct the oenferees
tan to the anti-pass amendment. Al
though the Democrats were aided by
eight Itepublicans, they could not com
mand votes enough to defeat the rule,
which was adopted, 184 to Wt.
Representative Sherman, of New
York, introduced a bill today providing
a passenger rate on all railroads in the
United States doing interstate business
hall be 2 cents a mile, effective Janua
ry 1 next.
Monday, June II.
Washington, June 11. The senate
this evening passed the Mondell bill
amending the national irrigation law
so as to permit the secretary of the In
terior tc reduce the minimum area of
farm units in government projerts from
40 acres to 20 acres. The bill was
amended in the senate by prescribing
regulations for granting an extension
of time to settlers under irrigation pro
jects for completing entries when delay
is caused by failure of the government
to complete the project and furnish the
water in time to complete entries in
the time specified by the land laws.
It was amended also by the insertion
of a provision authorizing the secretary
of the Interior to appraise lots in 1 ley-
burn and Knpxrt townsites and sell
them tc occupants who have erected
permanent buildings thereon not read
ily removable.
Washington, June 11. After near
ly four hours B)ent in the considera
tion of legislation affecting the inte
rests of the District of Columbia, the
house today resumed consideration of
the sundry civil bill, and, after an
hour and a half spent In its considera
tion, adjourned. An amendment was
passed, permitting the appointment of
retired ofllcera of the United States
corps of engineers, U. 8. A., as mem
bers of the International Waterways
commission, as provided for iu the
river and harbor bill creating this com
mission. Statehood Compromise.
Washington, June 12. The Carter
compromise on the statehood bill was
agreed upon today by Hepublican lead
ers of the house and senate. Nothing
now stands in the way of admission of
Oklahoma and Indian Territory as a
state, and a choice by Arizona and New
Mexico as to whether they desire to
come in hs another state. It is expect
ed that the pending conference report
will be recommitted or withdrawn when
it coraeB up tomorrow and an amended
report returned to both houses embody,
lug the compromise.
Eight-Hour Law In Islands.
wuoi.iniiinn .fnnn 11 In resnonse
L.UIIllip.'"" " ...... ...
to a complaint by President Gompers,
of the American Federation of Labor,
Kli,.ltrr Charleton. of the Philippine
government, has reported to Secretary
Taft that the eigni nour law mumiwi
in the Philippines ami Is held to apply
to all works there provided for by ap
propriation of publio money of the
United States. As to the employment
of Chinese laborers, the solicitor Bays
they are now excluded.
GEftMANIA TO QUIT.
Strong Insurance Company Withdraws
From Califoreia.
Sin I'rancisco, June DJ. The tier
rmwiia Insurance company, of New
York, will write no more Insurance in
this slate, will close all Its offices and
abandon California as an insurance
field. Telegraphic instructions have
been received from the homo office to
that effect and will be followed.
Two reasons are given for this action.
One, general in its scope, is that of an
ultra-conservative company not caring
to risk any more of its capital in Cali
fornia lossen. The other in more spe
cific, and says the decision of the com
pany was influenced by the legislature
and Insurance Commissioner Wolf.
The action of the (iermania company
Is the talk of insurance circles. When
it wan rciiorted that the Kagle and some
of the other smaller companies would
quit California, there was little com
ment it was expected but when a
company like the (iermania declared
itself in the same manner Die entire
cornineicial community of the city was
startled.
The iermania is one of the strong
companies doing business in California,
having assets of $7,000,000, and is pay
ing its losses as rapidly as they are ad
justed. Among insurance men the
(Iermania in noted for its conservatism.
It was thought probable that the com
pany bad been frightened out of the
state by its recent losses. This was not
fully admitted at the offices of the
company, though it was conceded that
the character of the loss and the man
ner in which it wan incurred may have
hid its effect on the directorate.
There is every likelihood that a num
ber of companies will follow the exam
ple of the (iermania. Smaller com
panies see in it a precedtnt under
w hich they may claim a reasonable ex
cuse for quitting the state, ami on the
other hand it may be the pioneer move
ment in what may develop into con
certed action to secure the repeal of the
act at the next session.
CYCLONE IN MONTANA.
Loss at Havre Placed at $200,000
Rain Accompanied Wind.
lUvre, Mont., June 13. Havre and
Fort Assiniboine were struck by a hur
ricane thin afternoon that did damage
estimated at 200,000. iiuildings were
toppled over without warning when the
cvclone etiuck and not a structure in
the path of the terrific wind escaped
damage. Several persons were injured,
but up to a late hour this evening no
fatalities were reported.
The fierce wind carried rain with it,
which fact precluded the possibility of
damage by fire. Men and women were
swept from their feet by the hurricane
and for several minutes it was courting
injury to venture outside. Later the
wind subsided somewhat and the work
of rescue commenced.
A report tonight states that both of
the reservoirs at Fort Assiniboine have
hurst and that the quarters of the sold
iers are being flooded. Four troops of
the Second cavalry and four companies
of the Second infantry are stationed
there.
LAWYERS TO BE PAID.
Graft on Colville Indians Passed by
the House.
Washington, June 13. Choosing an
opportune moment yesterday, when
nobody was looking, Chairman Sher
man, of the house Indian committee,
called up and secured the approval of
the conference report on the Indian
bill, which embodies the Colville In
dian graft. It had been the intention
of Representative Fitzigsrald, of New
York, to make a fight on this feature
of the report, but he waa not present at
the time.
Reference to the text of the bill dis
closes the fact that it is specifically
stated that $150,000 cash appropria
tion, the first payment of f 1,500, 000 to
the Colvilles for the north half of their
reservation, is made "for the use and
benefit of the Indians," and yet Senator
McCumber, in defending the lawyers'
graft, stated in the senate that it was
understood in committee that this first
appropriation would go to the lawyers,
the Indians not to receive any part
of it.
It is now up to the president to eith
er permit this graft to go through or
veto the entire Indian appropriation
bill.
Economy the Cry In China.
Pekin, June 13. China is in finan
cial straits. The expenses of the gov
ernment are multiplying without in
creased revenues. The pay of the new
army is considerably in arrears, and a
great percentage of desertions ia result
ing. The dowager empress has issued
a long edict, impressing on all officials
the necessity for economy. The edict
is addressed to the people, and attempts
to justify the course of the government.
It says that no one appreciates so much
aa the throne the Bufferings of the peo
ple from the taxation necessary.
Steamer Empire Cornered.
Washington, June 31. The United
States cruiser Marblehead has the
American steamer Empire cornered in
the harbor of Corinto, Nicaragua, mid
the moment the little American vessel
attempts to leave the Nicaraguan coast
it is believed the warship will seise it
and bring it to account for the part
played is assisting Guatemalan revolu
tionists. The cabinet considered the
case today and is believed to have de
cided on punishing the American ship.
Trembler Cracks Buildings.
Nogales, Ariz., June 13. An earth
quake occurred at Guaymas Mex. yes-
were cracked, but nobody was injured. 1
TROOPS JOIN MOBS
Czar Can No Longer Trust Sold
iers to Resist Revolution.
STRIKE THREATENED AT MOSCOW
Governor of Poltava Clamors for
Fresh Troops Since Mutiny
Court Party Exposed.
St. Petersburg, June 14. Ominous
of the government's ability to cope
with prospective agrarian disorders is
the news from Poltava, one of the rich
est and most populous farming pro
vinces of Itiissia, that tho governor is
in daily receipt of requests for troops
for the protection of estates from the
peasants, who have not the slightest
fear of the rural guards.
The governor is unable tn comply
with these requests, because the local
troops, one regiment of which muti
nied Sunday, are so infected by the re
volutionary propaganda that detach
ments sent to the villages immediately
fraternize with the peasants. The gov
ernor therefore begs the Si. Petersburg
authorities to send him fresh troops.
Two daily newspaper organs of the
Revolutionary Socialists, the Narodny
Vestnik (People's Messenger) and the
Isvestia (Peasant News) were suppress
ed today. The final number of the
Narodny Vestnik gives statistics of
General Trepoff's reactionary party in
the council of the empire, which it
says is composed of three princes, four
connt, three barons, 24 ex-governors
general, governors and other high offi
cials, and one metropolitan, who, to
gether draw from the government over
1500,000 in salaries. Besides this, all
these reactionaries own immense es
tates, that of M. Polotseff being 1,500,
000 acies.
An industrial tempest seems to be on
tha point of breaking at Moscow.
whence it may again spread over the
empire. A final conference between
the employers and printers, whose
strike produced the general strike of
last October, is being held tonight. If
it should be fruitless, the result will be
lockout of ttie printers and probably
a sympathetic factory strike.
INDEPENDENTS ASK FAIR PLAY.
Independents in Ohio Ask for Special
Legislative Session.
Cleveland, June 14. The Leader to
day says:
An extra session of the Ohio legisla
ture is aeked by the independent oil
men of the state. A formal request for
the issuance of a special call is being
prepared for Governor Pattieon, while
letters bearing upon this subject are to
be sent from Cleveland to every mem
ber of the legislature.
Should the special session be called,
the independent oil men will urge the
amendment of two laws which they
deem necessary to insure them fair play
as against the Standard Oil company.
I he first is the anti-discrimnation law
now in operation in Kansas and Iowa
The second is the maximum freight
law, which has enabled the independ
ent operators in Kansas to obtain equal
rights from the railroads, thus placing
them on the same competitive basis aa
the vast combine.
FORCE ISSUE ON CANAL TYPE.
Amendment to Sundry Civil Bill May
Come in House.
Washington, June 14. An unexpect
ed snag was struck today in the move
ment for an early adjournment, and it
ia possible that the type of the Panama
canal nuiet be settled before congress
closea ita sessions. Secretary Taft was
in conference wit a Speaker Cannon and
Chairman Hepburn, of the committee
on interstate and foreign commerce.
which handles the canal legislation,
and there is a disposition to eettle the
type of canal before the adjournment
of congress.
Steamer Empire Is Sold.
City of Mexico, June 14. The steam
er Empire, now at Corinto, Nicaragua,
and said to be assisting the Guatemalan
rebels, has been sold to the Nicaraguan
government, according to a dispatch re
ceived here from Salvador, and cannot
now be seized. Tapachula advices
report that Ayntla, Guatemala, baa not
been retaken by Guatemala regulars.
Ocos is said to be still in the possession
of the revolutionists. The leaders of
the Guatemalan revolution scout the
adverse reports sent out from Guatemala
City.
Terril IGranted Parole.
Guthrie, Okla., June 14. Ira N.
Terrill, serving 12 years for murder,
wos paroled today by Governor Frantz,
over the strong opposition of certain
persons. As a member of Oklahoma's
first legislature he drew up its criminal
code and was the first man to bo con
victed under its provisions. Terrill
gained cjnsiderable notoriety by bring
ing suit against President Roosevelt,
demanding freedom under the provi
sions of the Louisiana purchase treaty.
Goosa Lake Land Withdrawn.
Washington, June 14. The secre
tary of the interior today withdrew
from disposition under tSe publio land
laws a strip of land extending around
Goose lake, in Northern California, and
Southwestern Oregon, for uae in con
nection with the Pitt river irrigation
project. The area covers approximate-
ly 40,000 acres.
WASP OF THE SENATE.
f'hnnrtlrr of "Hntir-llke" Appear
nner, but lmri mm Whipcord.
Former Senntor Chnndler luii not n
very prcrioHWK.Mliig peMonnllty nnd ho
would never bo picked out In n crowd
of men in one pos
sessed of elthf-r
strong merifnllty or
grent physical en
d urn rice. Ho wenrs
n scraggy chin
whisker something
like Undo Knrn In
pictured as wear
ing, except that It
has the appearance
w. E. CHA1TIJI.KR. f)f M.n(? Delected.
He Is hardly more than five feet high
and wears eyeglasses with n black si 11c
string that ties them to his coat lapcL
In summer time ho I nwh given to
tho waring of Ill-flttlng, baguy linen
suits and "Rubo-llke" straw hats.
Ix;t no one think that hts stature In
rllcates Intellectual dry rot Ho Is as
sharp as a whipcord and few men ever
sat In the Senate who had the gift nt
repartee that he posveses. Only In
galls of Kansax ever successfully cojied
with him, and Ingalls never rellshexl a
pimsage-at-anns with the New Hamp
shire man. Most jieople call him tho
"Wasp of the Senate," and Senator
Vest of Missouri, who was not wanting
In picturesque language when the occa
sion demanded It, once referred to hlrn
as the "Monqu!to of the Senate.''
Chandler has been In public life so
long that ho has a hardened exterior
for the ordinary sensations In which
his name becomes Involved. Ho loves a,
fight and Li always looking for It He
fights for the sake of fighting. He
fought with Senator Foraker about the
railroad rates nnd Ohio politics when
It was no more his business than It waa
to regulate the affairs of the man In the
moon. As far back a the Hayes ad
ministration he had prominent admin
istration connections, and, after long
and close association with President
Hayes, broke with him in a series of
letters nnd acrimonious correspondence
that equals anything that has developed
In connection with tho TlUman-Hoose-velt
row.
The other day he said that he had
first come to Washington In tho Pierce
administration nnd had known every
President more or less Intimately since
that time. He Is engaged In govern
mental work. Utlca Globe.
Felona.
A felon or whitlow Is an lnflamma
tlon of the hand or finger, usually of
the last Joint of the finger. Its Import
ance varies with the seat of It; that Is
to say, with the portion of the finger
Involved, It may affect the skin only,
the tendons or sinews, or the fibrous
coverings of the bone the periosteum.
A superficial whitlow, where the in
flainuiatlon Is confined to the skin, may
be extremely puluful, but otherwise It
Is not a very 6erious matter; but this
cannot be said of the other two forms.
In the tendinous whitlow pus forms
in the fibrous sheath surrounding the
tendon ; nnd unless the Inflammation
quickly subsides, or the matter Is lot
out by the surgeon's knife, the pus may
burrow down through the sheath Into
the palm of the hand, nnd result In a
permanent crippling of the member.
Tue third variety called by physicians
the sub-perlosteal Is that lu which mat
ter forum beneath the membrane which
covers tho bone. As this membrane Is
tough uud Inelastic, the tension due to
the increasing volume of matter bo-
comes very great, and gives rise to a
throbbing, maddening pain. The relief
afforded by a deep cut Into this In-
flamed finger, right down to tho bone,
Is magical, although the cut hurts. This
Is the only treatment for this form of
felon, and the Incision should be made
early, for If It Is too long delayed the
bone will bo killed, and a discharging
sore will remain which will later neces
sitate a surgical operation, even If It
does not result lu the loss of the last
Joint of the finger.
The superficial whitlow does not usu
ally call for sueTi radical treatment
A clay poultice often affords great re
lief. This may be made by making a
paste of clay previously sterilized by
baking In a very hot oven and adding
glycerin to prevent too rapid drying ;
or tho clay, may be obtained ready pre
pared In tho drug store. This protects
the finger from Injury, keeps It cool,
and If applied early enough, may pre
vent tho formation of matter. When
onco pus bus formed, however, no mat
ter what tho variety of the felon, the
safest plan of treatment Is to cut Into
the Inflamed finger, nnd give exit to the
confined matter nnd relieve tho tension
of the parts. Youth's Companion.
A Iloiue Thrust.
"I hear your newly married daughter
is residing In Chicago, Docs she like
it?" asked Mrs. Nexdore whose daugh
ter bangs tho piano.
'No," replied Miss Pepprey, "she Just
hates it"
"Ah! too noisy, perhaps?"
"I guess that's it I read In a pa
per the other day that there are 300,
000 pianos used in Chicago." Cuthollc
Standard nnd Times.
No bedding ever hung out of a win
dow or over a porch railing that looked
attractive enough to sleep on.
31 JWr.rirl
i
i
Knlcker Few girls keep up their
music after they are married. Docker
And yet some persons say that mar
riage Is a failure. New York Sun.
Ills Wife Have you had a bad day,
dear? The Financier Yes, I lost over
$2TX),000. And the worst of It Is that
nearly $100 of that was my own mon
ey! Life.
Uncle How do you like your employ
er? Tommy I think he's bigoted. Un
cle In what way? Tommy Well, he
tints dat words oughter be spelt his
way all de time.
Molly He Is a student at one of
the big college. Polly Nonsense! He
talked with ns for an hour when he
was here yesterday and never used a
bit of slang. Somerrllle Journal.
"This flower Is strictly up-to-date,
said the florist "What do you mean
by that?" asked the prospective cus
tomer. "Why," he explained, "it waa
obtained by grafting." Detroit Free
Press.
"Is she pretty?" they asked of the
young man who was speaking of his
fiancee. "Well, I don't want to boast"
he replied, "but she always gets a seat
In a crowded street car." Stray
Stories.
If the sweet girl graduate of last
Jane hasn't got a school or an engage
ment ring yet It is high time for her
to study shorthand and hustle around
to get a Job at typewriting. Soiner
vllle Journal.
Ferdy Really, Patrick, I'd rather
ride Staggers than take a spin In the
touring car. The Groom Sure, tla
strange ye fale that way, sor, consider-
in that Staggers Is ownly a wan-hoss-power
boss. Puck.
He claims that he built the first
passenger elevators used In this coun
try." "Nonsense I The Mississippi
steamboats were running and blowing
up regularly long before he was born."
Philadelphia Press.
"No, my little girl, I can't lend your
mother any flour or oil or butter or
flntirons or lamps or potatoes or any
thing else that she 6ent you over for,
but go back and te'l her I have a lot
of trouble she can borrow." Baltimore
American.
Mother Come now, Will, If you'll
only be good I'll give you a penny.
Willie No'm; I won't be good for
less'n five cents. Mother Why, you
were good yesterday for a penny. Wil
lie I know, but yesterday was bargain
day. Philadelphia Press.
First Girl What are you waiting
for? Why don't you finish your letter
to Ella? Second Girl I don't know
whether to say "Ever yours, with truest
love," or simply "Yours affectionately."
You see, I can't endure Ella I think
she's detestable ! Tit-Bits.
"See here!" snapped the landlord,
who had responded to the tenant's hur
ry call for a plumber, "I thought yoa
Bald the water In your cellar was two
feet deep. "It's only a few Inches."
"Well that's as deep as my two feet"
retorted the tenant "and that's too
much."
Clara Did the papers notice your
father at the great banquet? Johnny
Yes. Clara Well, mamma said she
could not see his name on the list
Johnny No; but the list ends up with
"and others." That means papa. They
always mention him that way. Illus
trated Bits.
Magistrate and M. P. After mature
and careful consideration of your ense.
I have come to the conclusion that you
are a lazy, good-for-nothing rogue. May
I ask if you ever earned a shilling In
your life? Prisoner Oh, yes, I have,
yer 'onor. I voted fer yer 'onor once.
The Sketch.
Tom Look at that crowd of women
trying to get in that department store.
Dick Yes, It's a regular crush. Tom
But It's so early. Why, the doors
aren't open yet Dick Yes, they're the
women who followed the line of advice
In the advertisement : "Come early and
avoid the rush." Catholic Standard
and Times.
The desperate man, weary of life.
opened an upper window In the sky
scraper and threw himself out lie
landed on top of a load of mattresses
with which a teamster happened to be
driving along at the moment "Hang
the luck!" he exclaimed, as he rose to
him feet, shook himself, and found that
he was practically uninjured. "I might
have known this would be the result
of Jumping from the thirteenth floor!"
Mrs. Jenner Lee Ondego had Just re
turned from her summer vacation.
"My goodness 1" she exclaimed, as she
Inspected the alterations that hod been
made in the house during her absence.
This Isn't the kind of wall paper I
wanted. It won t harmonize wltn my
complexion at all!" "Well," irritably
answered her husband, "you can change
your complexion a good deal easier
than we can repnper the whole house."
Chicago Tribune.
A clergyman who had accepted an In
vitation to officiate at Sunday services
in a neighboring town entrusted his
new curate with the performance of his
own duties. On returning home he
asked bis wife what she thought of the
curate's sermon. "It was the poorest
one I ever heard," she replied, prompt
ly notuing In it at all." Later In the
day the clergyman, meeting his curate,
asked him how he had got on. "Oh,
very well," was the reply. "I didn't
have time to prepare anything, so I
preached one of your unused seruious.