j IN THE NATIONAL HALLS OF CONGRESS (
fa - .... . ,. 1
Friday, April 13.
Washington, Atll CI. Offing to
the fi't 1 1 1 m I noun of It member were
prcpaied to speak on the railroad rate
litll, that measure was li mporarily laid
aside today in the senate, pitimlltiiig
the devotion of Hie entire limn to tlm
outsider! Ion ol other hill on the ctl
cinbtr. ()( these more ( Iikii MOO were
passed, most ol them being private pen
fliiill hills.
Among tlm general hills passed whs
one li.cniAsiiig tlm pension of ci
soldier who lost limbs in tlm service;
another retiring ml pensioning petty
oltirer and men of tlm army, navy Mini
ma r I ii corps oiler 110 year of service
at three fourth their regular pity; ninl
ft third hill increasing tlm pensions of
-Mt'iU-m r soldiers to $20 per
month ninl makiiitf tlm attainment of
7f )I KI of agf evidence of disability.
Washington, April 13. After spend
ing inili'li time in useless debute and
wrangling, tlm house took up the post
ollli H nppropruitioii hill.
Tint lull hik finally perfected Ht U:fi
o'ch ck, heu Moon, of rVniiessee, en
tered a motion to moininit to tlm post
ollicn committee with instruction to
leporl tlm hill to tlm house Immedi
ately with tlm Hoiilhern rily mail
nihility slilrkin out. On this motion
i'riiipMi ker, of Indiana, demanded
tollcull, hicli was ordered. Moon'li
motion Hftit hint, Ui to till. Thin re
turned the subsidy In tlm hill, mid
without furthtir objection the hill V.H
passed.
Thursday, April 12.
Washington, April 12. Tlm feature
of Inlay's prM ceil in k In tbe house of
representative WM the speech made liy
'ohrn, of New York, who, under an
agreement made on a previou day, was
given mi hour to lucidate the subject
of "genera! dehitte" on appropriation
Iti Mn. In view of the announcement
thnl Cock ran Mould speak, the galleries
wcie crowded and very Ure propor
lion of the iimmhem Mere in attend-
nee.
Cm k run, niter a short l iiw iieeir of
the fiction ol "general debate" nl the
failure of u.emlrcrs to attend the mU
ting of tlm house while subject cover
ing the widetit possible latitude Mere
being illuminated, launched into a de
fense of the llephurn rate I ill and the
high position taken hy the house, not
only in the exceptional character f the
h-tfislation. hut in the dignified May in
which the hilll passed the lower liranch
of congress . In this connection he
ridiculed the constitutional debaters in
the senate.
Washington, April 12. After a brief
speech by l.attimer on in itipport of
the bonne railroad rate bill, Koraker
today took the floor on that measure
ami c insumed practically all of the re
mainder of the day'" session of the Hen
ate. He a pent some time in the discus
eion of aome of the amendments be ha
suggested, and then eiiU-rnl upon the
consideration of the entire iiuestion ol
railroad rale regulation, arguing
avuiiibL He coiiHtltulioiiality f the
pending bill from varioiiH point of
vie. He wan lr .pieiiuy linerrupie.i
by olher renatota. I.odn apoke brit !ly
in Hiippurt of the practice of tfrantiinf
lower rati i on koo'Ih intended for export
than on thonu used in domeHtic con
auinption. Wednesday, April II.
WaaliiiiKtou, April 11. Anions the
many billa pHHHtd by the senate today
waa i'lie niHiitinn land on Morton in
land, in Hnuke river, tlrefoii, to that
elate an a llch butchery. Oilier billa
pitHHed follow :
Authoriisinx the allotment of land to
nativea of Alanka; probibitinif the use
of divinK npparatiia in the taking of
eponnea; authorizinu the elnte of M in
tana to nelect lieu landa; prohihitiiiK
alieiia from gatlieriinj ppoiiKffl in Amer
ican walerH.
In renpoiiHii to a requcct by Tillman
to tlx a time for lakilK a vote on the
rate bill, Aldricli expreHfed the opinion
that before the end of the week the
epecehi a would be bo far disponed of bh
o enable the Henate to foresee the end
of KeiK'ral dincuHHion.
Wanhinton, April 11. When
Hpcaker Cannon called the bouoe to
order today, a Henate bill rntifyiiiK
aureement with Hie Lower lirule band
of the Sioux tribe of Indiunn, in South
Dakota, was panned. The poHtolllce ap
irnprialion bill was then taken up.
The military record of General Jacob
II. Smith wpb the niibject of a apeecli
May End Race Problem.
WaHhiiiKton, April 10 Dr. S. Har
rla, profeaxor of medicine in the Uni
veraity of Alabama, at Mobile, talked
to Hie prewideiit today about the raviiKTti
of t'oiiHiimption amonx Hie iickhjoh of
the HoiiHi. He vxprenued the fear, and
be added that bia opinion waa concurr
ed in by Hie medical fraternity Kimeral
ly in Hie South, Unit tbe ni'Kro nice
was likely to beeonib extinct in thin
country. Statistica nliowed, lie declar
(id, that t be death rate among the lnein
bera of the neKro race in America waa
greater than the birth rate.
Question for Steel Trust.
WaahiiiKton, April 10. After a con
ference with the president today, Gen
eral (Irosvenor, chairman ol the liouae
committee on merchant marine and
(latteries, announced that bia committee
proposed this week, in connection with
hearing) on the ship subsidy bill, to
interrogate officials of the United States
Steel corporation regarding the report
ed selling of steel products abroad at a
rate cheaper than waa given to consum
ers in this country.
by IIiwioii, Ohio, who defended the ac
tions of Henral Smith, in the I'hillp
piuea, stating that General Wood's
achievements were a complete vindica
tion of the () of Genernl Smith.
Hayes, (!al., npoke in favor of an In
creaned salary for postal clerks.
Tuesday, April 10.
Washington, April 10. Vt seven
hours today the bonne had under con
sideration the pontollice appropriation
hill, but in only a few instances were
the provisions coimidercd. During the
debate on the special appropriation for
railwny mail pay, hitter words were
exchanxed between representatives
from North Carolina, Arkansas and
Kentucky, but all were within the
rules of tlm house. A huirieroun
speech was msde by J. Adam Itede,
Minn., and Charles A. Towne, New
York, spoke in behalf of the Jamentown
exposition. Both Itede and Towne rep
resented the Duliith dintrict in Minne
sota in other congresses. X''ey were
warmly congratulated on their speeches.
Washington, April 10. For more
than four hours today Hailey held the
undivided attention of the senate with
a speech in reply tw Spisitier and Knox,
ami just before its conclusion there was
a significant sugK''Sliou from Hale indi
cating the possibility of an understand
ing and an early vote on the railroad
rale hill.
The day was one of the most notable
in Hie recent history of the senate.
Very few senators were absent at any
time during tlm day and every seat in
the galleries, public, private, senatori
al, executive and diplomatic, was held
by its occupant with marked tenacity.
Monday, April 0.
Washington, April K. McUurin and
Morgan addressed the senate today on
the railroad rate question, the former
advocating the legislation ami the lat
ter opposing. The Mississippi senator
announced his intention to support an
amendment providing for a court re
view ol the decisions of the Interstate
Commerce commission and also stated
his adherence to the Hailey amend
ment, prohibiting the temporary sus
pension of the commission's orders by
the inferior courts. He criticized what
he characterized as an effort to inject
politics int ) the consideration of the
hill. Morgan took the ixisition that
the proposed legislation wan an inter
ference wilb the rights of the states to
control the corporations created by
themselves, and said that the belt way
to check exorbitant railroad rates waB
to keep the waterways in such condi
tion as to insure competition.
Washington, April . Notwith
standing that this was tistrict day in
the house and that body resolved Itself
into a common council lor the purpone
of making laws for the District of Co
lumbia, weneral interest was shown in
the bills requiring nou resident pupils
to pay tuition and regulating me em
ployment of child lalsir. Hepburn, of
Iowa, replying to a long ppecch of Sims,
of Tennessee, in w hich he contended
for self government for the people of
the District of Columbia, made a de
fense of the form of government, but
criticized its administration. He did
not think two newspaper men and one
army oll'u-er, w bo constitute the hoard
of commissioners, the proper personnel
for such a government.
Cannon Gives Aid.
Washington, April 14. Speaker
Cannon today assured Representative
Jones, of Washington, and Chairman
Ihirtoii, of the river and harbor com
mittee, that he will permit them to
call up the Columbia river bill on Mon
day under euspeuaion of the rules.
This ia the most satisfactory arrange
ment that could be brought about, for
it means that the bill must be consid
ered solely on its ow n merits, and can
under no circnibtances be cinfused or
asmciated with any other river and
harbor or appropriation bill. The
merits of the bill are so apparent that
it cannot be assailed, unless by mem
bers who have been unable to secure
reports on billa making appropriations
for ri.'eis or baibora in thoir own dis
tricts, and it is not believed any such
opposition can now defeat the Colum
bia river bill.
Kveryone who ia directly interested
in the bill seems confident that it w ill
pass on Monday. It will certainly re
ceive the approval of the president, lor
he long since committed himself to its
asspage.
No Limit on Use of Franks.
Salt Lake, April 10. That there is
no law limiting or prescribing the char
acter of printed matter which congress
men may authorize to be sent thiough
the mails under otlicial frank, ia the
gist of a decision rendered here today
hy Judge John A. Marshall, of the
United States District court. L. It.
Anderson, chairman of tho Republican
committee of Sanputo county, Utah,
waa indicted for alleged illegal use of
the fiank of Congressman James A.
Tawney, of Minnesota, for diatributio
in Utah of political matter.
Seattle Objects to Negro Soldiers.
Washington, April 0. Seattle is vig
orously protesting a"ainst the assign
ment of a colored infantry regiment to
Forts Lawton and Wright, in place of
the Tenth infantry, that goea to Alaska
in August. The appeals of Senator
PileB have been without avail and he ia
Informed that Washington must have
ita share of colored soldiers. The de
tail of colored troops to the department
of Columbia will not Include Vancouver
barracks. The detail ia for two years.
SEV2N LOSE LIVES.
Powder Eiploses In Turret of Bat
tleship Kcursarg.
Washington, April In. Two years
ago to a day later than the fatal Mis
souri disaster, as every sailor Immedi
ately recalled, on a Friday and the 13th
of the month, seven men were done to
death in the forward turret of tho Imt-
telsbip Kesrsariffl by one of those acci
dents which acquire additional terror
for sailors Iscause of their olawiire or
iifin and the almost impossibility of
prevention.
The Atlantic fleet had been for weeks
erigsgi! in most severe drills in the
waters of the Carihlear) sea, culminat-
ng in the quarterly target practice.
This practice was Just about conclud
ing, with most satisfactory results up
to Friday, aid it was confidently ex
pected at the department, upon the
basis of preliminary reports received,
that all records would be broken in the
matter of rapidity of fire and efliclency
of the gunner. Ibit today came a
cablegram from Hear Admiral Kvans,
commanding the Atlantic fleet, telling
of a dreadful accident on one of his
best ships, the Kcarnarg. The news
j, ..! .1..
came irom iaimanera, a nine caoie
station at the mouth of Ouantinamo
bay, indicating that tbe Kearsarge
itself bad arrived at that plae. The
rnessaKe read as follows:
"Caimanera, April 10. Secretary
Navy, Washington: On April 13,
about .1:15 p. m., shortly after comple
tion of target practice of the Kearsarge
forward turret, while the powder was
going below, three sections of a 13-inch
charge of powder were ignited. The
charge ol powder in other lift just be
low an one section of 13-inch re
mained intact. Cause unknown. Mat
ter is being investigated. Seven men
were killed and the recovery of another
is doubtful."
BLAMES COMPANY.
Official Report on Steamship Valen
cia Disaster.
Washington, April 10. The depart'
ment of Commerce today made public
the report of the special commission
which held an investigation into tbe
Valencia disaster last February, hold
ing its sessions at Seattle. The report,
which is made to tbe president and
signed by tbe three commissioners,
Laurence O. Murray, assistant secretary
of the department; Herliert Knox
Smith, deputy commissioner of corpora
tions, and Captain William T. Harwell,
U. S. N., consists of 62 printed pages
and exhaustively reviews tbe testimony
and findings of the commission.
A feature of the repirt is its severe
censure for the Pacific Coast company,
which owned the steamer. The brunt
of the blame, however, is thrown on
Captain Johnson, who perished in the
wreck.
Sixty witnesses were examined, their
tectiniony covering 1,8(10 typewritten
pages. Though the commission was
w ithout power to compel the attend
ance of witnesses and had no funds
with which to remunerate them, sub
stantially all of the survivors of the
wreck were examined, except a lew
who had gone to distant points before
tbe inquiry began. In addition a large
number of master mariners and mem
hers of the crews of vessels which went
to the Valencia's aid were put on the
stand.
COUNTRY RETURNS TO LIFE.
Sun Shines on Naples and People
Resume Business.
Naples, April 16. The news from
Vesuvius continues to be satisfactory.
The sun is shining brightly this morn
ing, and the lat vestiges of the erup
tion ate disappearing from Naples.
The work of cleaning and sweeping is
still going on here. The city has about
resumed its normal appearance. He
ports from the villages anl towns in
the region of Vesuvius say that the
people are gradually returning to their
homes. The stores are beinng reopen
ed. The inhabitants of Hie towns
which suffered the least are Actively en
gaged in repairing their datnaued homes
and churches. In the opening np of
the roads they are assisted by the troops
and government engineers.
Prepare for Coal Strike.
Philadelphia, April 16. Despite tbe
optimism with which Mr. Mitchell
views the situation in the anthracite
fields, the miners themselves and busi
ness men throughout the region express
but liitle hope of a peaceful settlement
of the differences between the operators
and miners. On the other hand offi
cials of tho coal companies have since
Thursday in various sections been mak
ing obvious prepaiations for an extend
ed suspension of mining operations.
Imported laborera are said to have been
placed in several colleries.
Gorky May Be Deported.
Chicago, April 16. A special to a
Chicago paper from New York says
Maxim Gorky and the woman who is
known as his wife may he deported
because of false representations made
on their entrance to this country. Offi
cers of the Immigration bureau declare
that, if the matter is properly brought
before the bureau, Gorky may be de
ported. It is believed that persons
who do not admire his opinions will
Iobo no time in cringing up hia case.
Can't Ask Him to Attend.
Washington, April 16. The inipoa-
nihility of inviting the British ambas
sador to participate in the Paul Jones
ceremony at Annapolis on April 24,
commemorating events in which Eng
land came out second best, has led
those in charge of the ceremonies to re
frain from inviting the participation of
any nation other than France.
WORST SEEMS OVER
Ashes From Mount Vesuvius Are
Much Finer.
COUNTRY LIKE SAHARA DESERT
Distress Among Tens of Thousands.
of Fugitives Appalling Help
Badly Needed.
Naples, April 12. Tbe whole of the
Vesuvius district, as far as Naples, Ca-
serta and Castellarnare, is one vast Sa-
baran desert. Reports tonight from
all sides state that the fall of ashes is
not so heavy as it has been for tbe last
few days, and tbe aches are much finer,
and from this it is argued that tbe
prospects are much brighter.
The blockade of local traffic contin
ues, but service on tho main lines of
railway has been re-established, al
though greatly disarranged by the in
describable confusion in the stations
where foreigners, Dot fully understand
ing the situation, inveigh against the
delays arid discomforts to which they
have been subjected.
This has been a disquieting day in
Naples. The people, alarmed by what
has happened, have deserted their
shops, and tbe manufactories are nearly
all closed. The crowds are in a tem
per for any excess. It would only re
quire a spark to start a conflagration.
The distress among the tens of thou
sands of refugees is appalling. The
government has forwarded supplies ol
food and money, several of the Italian
cities have done the same, and private
citizens are contributing money for the
assistance of the sufferers. More help
is needed.
REVISE EXCLUSION LAW.
New Bill Intended to Remove Griev
ances of Chinese.
Washington, April 12. Representa
tive Denhy, of Michigan, introduced a
bill today, making extensive revision
of the Chinese exclusion act. It ex
tends tbe operation of this act ten years
ami incorporates the recommendation
of Commissioner General Sargent for
American inspectors in China under
the supervision of the Immigration ser
vice and for the re-registration of Chi
nese now in this country.
The bill is not intended to modify
the basic principle policy of excluding
Chinese laborers, but according to Mr.
Denby is an attempt to find a compro
mise which shall harmonize ditferjncia
with China.
It permits Chinese residents of this
country to go and come under proper
regulation in regard to return certifi
cates, etc. It repeals the provision of
existing laws permitting Chinese labor
ers to leave tbe Cnited States and sub
sequently return only in case they have
w ives or families or debts due to them
in the United States, and which limits
their right of return to one year.
It admits Chinese applicants for the
writ of habeas corpus to bail, a privi
lege now denied. It provides that any
Chinaman resident in tbe United
States, may receive a return certificate
on exhibition of hia certificate of regis
tration or original certificate of entry
and pro if of his identity.
It repeals the provision of the exist
ing law placing tbe burden of prcof
npon a Chinese arrested for being un
lawfully in the United States to show
his right to be here.
It repeals specifically the provision
in the law of 1892, already held un
constitutional, that Chinese found un
lawfully in the United States shall be
imprisoned at hard labor f jr one year
ami then deported.
It enlarges the exempt class beyond
those mentioned in the treaty of 1880
to include accountants, I oik keepers,
bankers, members of the learned pro
fessions, editors or members of other
olasses not falling within the category
of laborers, but it also provides that it
shall be unlawful for any Chinese per
son entering the United States as a
member of an exempt claes to work for
gain as a laborer.
Rails Blown From Under Train.
Pittsburg, Kan., April 12. An un
successful attempt to wreck the eouth
bound St. Louis A San Francisco pas
senger train, known as the "Meteor,"
was made last night at a point between
Turk and Scammon, south of Pittsburg.
Dynamite had been placed on the track.
The train, running nearly 60 miles an
hour, Btruck the explo-uve and caused
an explosion that tore out three feet of
the track. The high rate of speed at
which tbe train was moving carried it
over the break without damage to the
cara or injury to anyone.
Drydock Dewey Breaks Tow.
Washington, April 12. The drydock
Pewey broke its tow lines in the Med
iteranean off Malta and drifted about
in a storm for about 23 hours, but is
now again in control. This informa
tion reached the Navy department in a
dispatch from Admiral Sigsbee, dated
at Messina, Sicily, yesterday, lie
stated in the dispatch that the Brook
lyn remained with the Dewey when it
was floundering about, and did not
leave it until it waa safely in tow.
Traveling Will Be Expensive.
Chicago, April 12. The Central Pas
senger association lias decided to In
crease the summer tourist rates which
prevail every season to the Atlantic sea
coast resorts. On an average the rates
will be raised about 15 per cent.
UELTJOTT STOKER. RELIEVED
OF DIPLOMATIC DUTIES.
flip
Ik-llnmy Storer, who has leen ro
rnlletl us ambassador to Austria Hun
giiry, waa consplniouH In Ohio iolltlcs
before he entered the diplomatic ser
vice. He was In Congrea from 1801
until IHI).",, and In 1S!7 he wan npilnt
ed minister to Itelglurn. In 1MK bo
was transferred to Madrid, and In l'J02
whs sent to Vk-imn. Mr. Storer was
born In Cincinnati In 1M7. He Is a
graduate of Harvard (1S07) and of the
Cincinnati Ijtw School, and he began
the practice of law here In 1H;9. His
father was Judge Itellnmy Storer, who
studied under Daniel Welster.
Patrick Kyan, a tramp, tried to steal
a ride on a freight train one day re
cently. In his arms be carried a fox
terrier puppy, whose white coat was as
Immaculate as Ityau's garments were
slovenly. A writer In the Boston Her
ald tells the story of the ride.
"Oh, let me and the pup ride!" plead
ed Ityan, from the bumpers, when the
brakeman dlswvered the pair. "We're
mighty tired, and the pup ain't fetllng
right."
The brakeman let them alone.
Half-way to Bristol the motion of the
train made the terrier 111. He licked
Kyan'a grimy hand and whined plte
ously. "All rlehr. dogguns." sM Ityan, "If
rou can't stand It we'll get off
Kyan edged his way out to the end
of the brake-beam, holding the terrier
to n toward lb. ground .od dropped
,o ,,,o , on . .po. of lb.
l O ' 17 - I
Ryan, and leaped.
His foot slipped, caught in the brake-
ladder, and he pitched under the
wheels'. When they picked Byan up
bis right arm was cut off, his left leg,
crushed, and his head a mass of bruises,
Ile was taken to a hospital, where ne
regained consciousness for a moment
"Has any one remembered to feed
tbe little dog?" he asked. It was his
last request as his Injuries proved
fatal.
Same Here.
The thanks of every tired woman are
Uie to tho gallant strap hanger who
5lves her his seat In the crowded dis
trict railway carriage when he sees her
milking desperate nttempts to keep her
balance ou her feet But his gallantry
N sometimes a little overdone, or It may
bidden sense of bitterness at having to wered Senator Sorguum, h& 111 de
stand when he has paid for a seat In!ver them provided they aw ordered
nnv case, the lady who remonstrated
with the young man when he courteous
iy offered her his seat felt that his re
ply should have been left unsaid. "Pray
take It," he begged her Impressively;
"my legs are younger than yours,"
London Chronicle.
Similarity of Slniiit nnd t'oetrr.
"What Is the difference between
slung nnd poetry?" naked a bantam-
weight philosopher the other day. "It
nil dtMieuds on who wrote It If one
mnu writes It, It Is poetry; If another
writes It. It Is slang. All the slang that
Walt Whitman creuted Is called poetry.
All tho poetry written by George Ada,
e called slang. Slang la poetry before i ,eU Mannger 8a,i jt was no use burn
It has taken out Its license. That's the , , " fer a $0 house." Pittsburg
Olliy UUiereui-e. ii juu sine nuuui iuo
snow upon the old man's brow, that's
jioetry ; If you speak of the 'alfalfa on
the old man's chlu,' that's slang. I chal
lenge the world to combat my theory."
- Kansas City Times.
Tl.o tall, lmnresslve vice Dresldent Is
olmt when in the Senate lu convention-
Clall llvll 111 lliu iHun ic n vv'wicin.uii-
al garments of the statesman long Sklnnfc. "I'll t?" ye what I want fur
Prince Albert, dark gray trousers, and thct horse." "Oh, I wouldn't be luter
n plain black silk tie. This raiment c-steJ In know.u' thet," rep.led Former
Is duplicated for at least five rows of i Shrude. "No?" "No, nut I wouldn't
seats back and theu comes a sprinkling ' mind knowln what j ed take." Phll-
of white vests and colored ties.
Mr. Fairbanks always carefully dusts
his immaculate coat-tails, and he never
leaves his shining top hat in the lobby,
but brings It Into tho Senate and places
It with extreme caution ou the top of
his desk.
Dlaauuoiutetl.
"I understand your boy was severely
baaed at college?"
"Yes," answered Furmer Comtossel.
'Ho alius was gettlu' Into trouble. I
" . I:. :.:
never cou.u ero u.m uUl .v ,
was at home,
"But aren't you indignant?"
"No; I'm not Indignant But I'm
kind o' dlsapiKilnted that I wasn't there
to see It" Washington Star.
A Tilt in Kniiinar.
Maude Is he one of the sort that "Oh, one of my clerks wanted an In
tips the waiter? I crease In salary, so that he could get
Belle No, he's one of the sort that ( married, and I refused to give It t
tips the soup plute, Boston Transcript j him." Barn's Horn.
7
"Well, Msgglo, you hnve now been
married a year. How rio jru like your
husband?" "Sober, mum." Houston
Post
Poet So you think I should g-t more
flro Into my vers'n. Editor My deaf
sir, quite the reverse! Boston Tran
script. Tho Teacher Why Is procrastination
called the thief of time? Tho Dunce
Bornuso It takes a person so long to say
It Men and Women.
' Vour husband seems to hive a very
affectionate dlRisltlon." MfJood gra
cious! Have you found It out, too?"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Mr. Younghub This sponge cake Is
very tough, my love." Mrs. Younghub
How quer! And I told the man to give
me tho youngest, tewlerest sponges 9
had! Clevelnnd Lender.
"Does angels have golden crow-ns arr
wear wings, pa?" "Why. I believe that
Is tho general belief." "But you won't
never le able to find out for sure, will
you?" Cleveland leader.
"Pa," said little Willie Underthum.
"what does a man's 'better half
mean?" "Usually, my mm," replied Mr.
Underthum, "she means Juat what sha
says." Philadelphia Press.
"How do you suppose Eve ever got
along without any store windows to
gnte Into?" "She probahly strolled down
the line every morning and rubbered
at the fig tree," Houston Post
"The plural then of 'wife' Is what?
The teacher asked. Said Beaa,
A moat precocious little tot:
"It's bigamy, I guess."
Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Crlmsonbeak I declare; There'
more hard luck! Nothing has gone
right with me this year I Mr. Crimson
beak Well, wife, you arrow everybody
Is saying it's a bad year for bosses.
Judge.
"I shall miss you while you are on
your bunting trip, dear," murmurel
the roung wife affectionately, "and I
shall pray that the men you are going
, ' . me! Cleveland
, to pla, tte h.rp I!'1-nh
. 4 ,e SU.taS,
Leader.
Wigwag Hello! Scribbler. Writing
anv noetrr these days? Scribbler
; Only enough to keep the wolf from the
door, wigwag-reat ocott, "
can't read poetry, can he?-I hlladel-
. pma uecoro.
Do not be so cast down, she said ;
"It grieves me greatly to give you so
much pain." He looked up and laughed.
"Don't worry," he said; "my proposal
was Just a freak election bet" Cleve
land Plain Dealer.
Ta Twaddles I can't see why that
young Idiot who la calling on Molly
hasn't sense enough to go. It's mld-
'nlght Tommy Twaddles Taint hl9
! .a nn.A.a aartln' Alt
fault lie can x bo umici j scmu v
him. Cleveland Leader.
"I suppose our friend will deliver a
few speeches In Congress?" "Yes," an-
. ".T lu" "S"' -
advance." Washington Star.
Skorcher Got nn automobile, have
lyou? It's very strange I never see you
on the road. Newman That s because
as soon as I land there, I always pick
myself up and scramble back Into the
machine. Philadelphia Press.
"If It were not for my wife," growl
ed the first man at the reception, "I
L..oui.in,t be here.
neither would 1,
i (loR gone it; replied the other man, "If
It wre not for my wife. I'm the hos
tess's husband." Philadelphia Tress,
"llow're you niakTug out at the op-
era house?" "We turned 'em away last
,
"G'wan," 'Tact Sixteen of
.,
Post
Lawyer You say you left home ou
the 10th? Witness Yes, sir. Lawyer
And came back on the oth? Witness
Yes, sir. Lawyer (severely ) What
were you doing In the interim. Witness
Never was In such a place Baltl-
iore American.
"Ef ver real tntercsitHi
said Den co 'i
ndelphla Ledger.
"Do you mean to say that you refuse
to allow your daughter to marry my
Hen?" exclaimed the lady from Chicago;
"why, we have royal blood In our
veins!" "That's Just the reason," said
Steddynian; "I'm nfruht It might crop
out." Detroit Free Press.
Foremun (at the door) Did yer
husband hov a new suit ov clothes ou
this mor-rnln', Mrs. O'Malley? Mrs.
O'Malley He did. Foreman They're
I roolned entirely. Mrs. O'Malley-IIow
u lmI,neu? Koremun-He wa
blowed up be a charge av dlnnymlte. .
Cleveland Leader.
"I did one charitable act to-day,
remarked a merchant, as he sat down
to dinner. "I'm glad to heur It dear,"
retolned his wife; "tell me about It"