Hood's
Snrsapnrilla is unqticstlona
My tho greatest blood and
liver mcdicino known. It
positively and permanently
cures every humor, from
Pimples to Scrofula. It is
tho Best
Blood Medicine.
Klmwn Vnlun of Nulns.
A well Uiiohii niliilntiT I Ii'IIIiik n
nmii'iliitu uluiut M lirutlii'r rli'iinum
wIid hum iriiilrii 1 1 ti i-x pi h ( 11 1 ly to of
llrliuo lit tho fin i in 1 or n iiiuii con
ciirnliiK whom ho It n civ iioIIiIiil'. WIic
Iiii iirrlvt'il hi tlm loivn wlirri- t ho do
ooiiHi-it It it 1 1 llvi'il Im liinl Just Ilino l
1 1 1 ti k o II Tow luijiilrli-s nliuut Ills Unit
mill lii'lilovemi'iilH, tho ri'HllltN of
wlilrli tin niili'il on it im-iiiiiriiiiitiiiu,
Ills imiIiibj' nt llm Horvlrp, an rojiorliil
win ii limit n h followH:
"Our ili-nr lirotlii-r, wlmm wo mourn
(oiliiy, win n mini of rnro ch.'irni'ti
mill nhlllty. Ilo hint tlm iiiniilnl rnpm
lly of ii"- roforrliic to hid Milieu
"Hiinli'l Wnluilor, tint tnot nf "
tipiln i-onsulllni; hi nii'iiKiriiiiilitiii
' 1 1 fit ry C'liiy, the itiTllniK'lly of ii"
ntiiitlirr rofiToiint -"1'lyssi-ii K. I rit lit.
Wo run only mourn Mm with a pro
foimil mill norrnH'ful ri'itri'l now Hint
ho linn koiio to incut liln" nnolliv
rofuri'Wi" to tin) iiules "(.oil,"
A (Tonitlliitf Tliotitflti,
ItrnmlilF -Yen, I'm only, I I now I'm
ugly; lull tlirrn In mil cnunl ruiinolstloii
Krlrwl -Wlmt I. Hint?
Itrumlilti f I'frr 1 ilioulil ln-cntiir
crrnt. alul tin American people alinuM
result r tu rrort n sIaIuf In my inriiiory
lltfy won t on too to titako mt out suy
uglier tlion I mil.
The Hca.vm Why.
Driimmoml, Witt., Hfpt. Ill (Hnrrlal)
Wliolo (it in 1 1 i -i in Ilnyllulil county
urn bIiikIhk tlx1 rnlfn ol Hotlil Kid
ney I'illtt mill tint rcarou why In ylvrn
ill txiirt luiii'fn Kticli that nf Mr. T.
T. Wohl, n mill known citltcn hero.
"I Itml itiicli pal in 'n my buck that I
Mil not know wlint to do, says Mr
Wolil, "inl aa I i'ii inn across nn uilver
tltti'int'iit of Dodd' Klilmty l'lll I tent
foi ii hoi. 'flint unit Imx relltivml inn
of nil my pains. My wife also ust-il
them nuil louinl tlti'in Just v. lint alio
liroU'tl. I rvcoinmvml 1imIi1 n Klilmty
1'ills it a su'ro rum for llurknlie, ami
other Kiilttuy 'Iioulilea "
llni'kiti'lie in olio of I tin rnrllrnt
symptoms of Klilnry ilinpimo tM
Kiilney I'l 1 In emu It promptly and
permanently ami pr-tvont it tluvrlopiot;
Into ltlit-timntism, Diopsy, DlaU-teH or
IlrlKlit'a Dlma-i'.
Alt Ampllllrtl Woman.
"Tltp car wiih entirely empty, with
the exception of one iiiuii." mild Mia
.Myni Kelly. "He wan thr reverse of
tho cur. An I I'lilereil lie rote, innil
inn an uualiatly Itut niiii'iillleeiit how
niul tuilil:
"'.Muilnin. plilenslie tut Llml 'noiich
to assliept tltlsli plitsln' There wna
nolliliiK elm' for liw to ilo, ao 1 tluiiiLe-d
lillii anil ant down.
"Anil for twenty tilocka flint Idiot
limit; from a atrup, awnylnc In tho
dreete, with not n aoul In the cur
tint ouraelws. Ocrnalonally I hnve
lieen tnLen for other women; Itut I
never before huil any one think that
I wna a enr full."
riTO i'
rilO .n.r Dr.lil.r'.u..uflir.Klli).'.utftlN
lu.tot.r. B.n.l r.,r I'lMtl lrl.llilll.nillr..lU
lJT.ll.ll. Kiln. Ud.. W? Art-h HI. I'htll.lptilft, 1'a.
Hrrvnl Iter Itlultt.
He Alii! nicthluks your hrnrt Ii
COlll.
Mhi Tlint'a a fnct I should hnra
hceileil inolher'M udrlce.
Hi Mother's niltlic?
.She Yen. tflio udvlseil me not lo
wear a thin wnl I until It Rot warmer.
Molberewlll flint Mil, vrintluw's hoothlng
Hrruptltd t-e.t remedy toiini fur Ittotr children
durltig tho teething period.
Illssns mut a Hat,
"f wna talking to my little ennui
dnuchler over the 'phono tho other
dny," wild Judge Parker recently to
u few of lila friend nt n hotel In
Alliniiy, Now York, "and when I end
ed I an Id:
"'Here, Dorothy, la n kin for yon.'
"She replied: 'Oh, pshaw, Krandpii,
don't you know that a klai over Uio
telephouo U like n Ktniw hut.'
"I anld: 'Why, no, aweelheurt, how
Is Hint?'
" 'It'a not felt, Krnnilpn.' "
UK
When a child I li.nl a very severe at
tack of Diphtheria, which came near prov
lu fatal. Uponrccovcry Ihctjlniidaof tho
neck were very much enlarged, nnd after
the free use of iodine, the right one was
reduced to Its normal size, but the left
oue continued lo (row very slowly at
first, until it was about the size of a goose
cps, which begun to press on the wind
pipe, causing difficult breathing, and be
came very painful. Ail incision wan made
nnd a large quantity of pus discharged.
The eland was removed, orii9 much ui
could with safety be taken out, Vor ten
years I wore a little piece of cloth about an
Inch long In my neck to keen the place
open, Durini; this thus I had to have it
cut open by the doctor every time I took
cold or the opening clocked. In the Sprlne
oreatly Summer of 1884 I was persuaded
by my wife to life S. S. S., which I did,
strictly in accordance with directions. I
took twenty-six larjje bottles, and was en
tirely cured, for I have not suffered sinco
that time. 11. S.Kaoi.ni.
Koyal DagMfi;. Co., Charleston, S. C
Only n constitutional remedy can reach
nn hereditary ilisou.e like Scrofula. When
thu blood is restored to u normal condition
and tha scrofulous deposits are carried off
there is a gradual return to health. S.S.S.
is wen Known as 11
blood purifier and
tonic. It is tho
only guaranteed,
strictly vegetable
remedysold. Ifyou
have any signs of
Scrofula, write us
andourphysicians
will advise you free
The Swift Spoolflo Company, Atlanta, Go.
ll I
SCRUrULA
TENUENOV OF OCCUPATIONO,
Coiiiinrrcliil ninl lintttatrlnl I'nranlU
Hnvo lit. Cull,
Thnt wo hllle lieeolno In the Inat
twenty yenra n coiiimeielnl mid IndiiH
trlnl people mid hnve reined to Im n
Iieopln wllh whom nxrlcultiiro la Hie
Iireiloinlnnni Imluatry la Indlcnted liy
tho cenaiia report on orciipnllolia, re
renlly iiuhllalieil 'l lm fn'llowlii(r tnltla
Hhowa tho proportion of all Ihoae In
Knlnful imraulta who were ciiriikciI In
tho live principal elnaaea of occupn
lion In 1880 mid in looo:
tttoo
A70
im
in ao
21.41
Il.r.
tro
at
do
0 22
l.2i
Aftlftiljtiral (ittrttilli .. i.20
Ir.fa.annal 8,4o
Iloni.aile alld iirnnnal. 2Wi
Tnjiii and trait.tioria-
Maittifarturlni anil nia
cltanlril ai . IT
Tulal ."iuiiio
Inrrnm.
It will Im aern Hint In lfWO. while
IIV per cent of those employed wero en
Knged In nifrlrultiiru, only .11 per cent
were niKnifed In trndo nnd tranapor
tntlon, mnmifiicturliiK ami mrclinnlcnl
imratilin, hut Hint In 11XKJ Iraa than ltd
per cent wnro oinjngeil In aicrlculture,
wlillit iilmost 41 per cent wem miriiged
In innnufiieturliiK and commerce.
This does not, of courao, Indicate tho
oxtlui'llnn of agriculture. It merely
Indicates a ehnngo In Ita relative Im
uorlanea. Tho uuinlier of tieraona no-
tunlly enitnged In nitrieiilture llirronarri
Itetween 1HS0 nud 1000 from 7.7U.OOO
to io,;iH2,(KX nnd tho number la like!
to Increase for many yeara, eapeclally
If our vaat Irrigable domain Is thrown
open to aettleinrnt and la settled by
bona fins hnmeaeekera. With tho
growth In tho commercial and Indu
trial opulatlon there la bound to he
growth In the nuuilwr of tboae
gngeii in the buslnesa of growing their
rood anpply. In a country such aa Mil
wiin us oroml areas of fertile land
available for Industry, and wltb It
vast reaources of Mm raw material of
ministry and of manufacturing power,
agricuiiura la hound to demand th
aerticea or more and more msn. To
make this clear It la sufficient to sar
uini in ifwi there wore engaged in
commerce and the mechanical Indu
tries J,JM).000 persons, who were fed
by tho labors of 7.7N.OOO agrlcultur
lata, while In 1001) there were engage
ill commerce nnd the mechanlcnl
niairles 1 1.WJ.ooo peraons, who were
foil by the labors of Hl..'tHl,.000 peraoii
Wlillo it la still true thnt agriculture
Is. and for iniiny years Is likely to re
main, inn foundation Industry
wiiicii rests the prosperity of th
whole country, such a change In th
ilistriliutlou of occupntlous as tha
which has occurred since lfiSO Is
great social ami political aa well
of economic significance. It la reflect
ed In the growth of cltlea. In tho rlso
of problems of municipal governrueii
now undergoing Investigation and ao-
liltlon and In the ferment of labor am!
capital. It has had and Is likely
have pol III nil effects of far-reaching
mportnuce affecting our Internal poll
cles and our foreleu relations. hl
roul r loneur I'reaa.
NOW HAS A PAMI8 DflANCH.
. W. C A. KatablUhrtl tind.r (Inld
mire of Hrlll.lfAiiitrlrC.lt Women.
No Young Women's Christian Asso
ciation has ever been founded In I'nrl
for tho reason that no enterprlxlug per
son with means ever took the matter
In hand until a few months ago. I
wortld have made happy all who take
n Interest In Christian associations to
have attended the dedicatory exer
clses of the newly established Ilrltlsh
American Young Women's Christian
Association at 0 Hue do Turin, Ave
minutes' walk from Uio business ces
tor of 1'arls. where, In a private bouse,
with garden In front, at leaat thirty
women can be housed, boarded and
well cared for.
una nas neen uono mrougn me ac
tivity of Mrs. John J. Hoff, who for
soveral years has stirred up the en
rgy of tho American Christian rest
dents of l'nrls nnd has producwl won
ders. On the opening day the sunlit
drawing and dining moms were crowd
ed with American residents who lis
toned to a bright discourse from Mrs.
Hoff, a witty speech from John Wana
maker, who has done so much for
Christian young men and women In
arts; an address by Mrs. Ileach.
hose interesting Humlny evening
meetings for American students are
so well attended, and n prayer by llev
Dr. 'Jhurbcr; then tea and lemonade
were served, after which every one ran
up tho two flights of stairs to look at
tho cheerful bedrooms.
Tho pmimblo to tho constitution
says that tho members of this asso
ciation aro actuated by n de-slro to
tlmulato Interest In the religious de
velopment of young women In rnrls.
to Improve their Intellectual, socJnl nnd
physical conditions, and to do this
there will bo classes In French, Gor
man, lectures, social nnd Itlblo meet
ings nnd tens, besides physical culture.
The feeo for ncttvo and sustaining
moinliera aro f I a year, and ttoard nnd
lodging from JB to fa a week, and nny
woman of good moral character may
be elected us nssocbUo member by n
vote of tho members present nt any
regular meeting of tho board. ltrook
lyu Kngle.
Fish Unit Fnlso Teeth.
II. 8. Noble, a, well-known traveler,
wns at thu American House, Denver,
and with him he brought one of hN
stories with which he has thrilled the
nation at least that Is what ho says
about thorn. Mr. Noble, It seems, hAd
occasion, a few years ago to visit near
Akron, Ohio, whero Is located n lake
famous for Its fishing,
"It wns about this way," snld Mr.
Noble, "nnd there Is no Question about
the absolute truth of the statements I
nm nbout to mako. I was tlshliig 111
tho hike, for Helling Is one of my fall
ings. I hnd not had very good luck
10 far that summer, mid that was two
years ago nnd I wns getting Just about
tired enough to cut It all out nud go
home,
"On tho day in question I received
n mighty tug at my line, nnd after
four hours' hard work I lauded some
thing In the shape of tho largest fish
I over saw In fresh water. I have
never been nblo to learn tho name of
it. It certainly was nn nwful fish for
size. Tho Jaw of tho nnlmui measur
ed soma uvo feet, nud In tho Jaw la
tho Interesting part of the story. On
oxamluatlou the fish had for :eeth
In Its lower Jaw a cross-cut saw.
When tho saw was more closely exam
ined tho linme of tint man who hod
lost It wns found. The anw hail been
lost In the lake some two winters l.
fore by a man who was cutting lee.
Tint fish, which was mi old one, nnd
hnd lost Its lower teeth, simply used
tho saw for a set of fnlso teeth. 'I ho
snw served Its ptirposn reinnrknbly
well. The fish Is now on exhibition In
the store of a prominent hardware
man In Akron." Chicago Inter Ocean
DEAF FIND EAII3 IN PIANO.
Instrument tUet with Htiecess
In
a Hclionl for lit Aflllrleil.
Pupils In the Horace Mann school
for the deaf In llostou now havo the
asalrtaneo of the piano In lessons
taught by a teacher of voire, Mrs.
Hnriih A. Jordan Monro. Kho has her
deaf-muls pupils give a play, as they
have many times beforn, nnd In this
nlso tlw piano Is used for drill. Its
aim Is to overcome tho monotone llsble
In the spaech of thosn who iki not bear.
With tho lustnimout they can learn
Inflection and phrasing and acquire a
sense of rhythm by repenting to music
the ".Mother Ooos" rhymes.
From feeling tho vibrations of thr
phi 110 as tho teacher plays the pupils
get an Impresnlon of sound aa the
teacher would have It Impressed on
Until, for they loam the accent of
"Jingle Delia" from feollng It In the
piano better titan they can read It
from the leachsr's lljx, where the
force of tnn accitut Is not so observa
ble, because th" sound Is lost to them.
Hence the ptano serves m ears to these
deaf children.
The piano Is not the only way to
tench sound, but It Is ths most effec
tive. Until the present system was
adopted ths pupils followed ths teach
er In a rhythmic exnrclas by "step
ping out beats" or clapping their
hands. But It was still better when
they could recite their "Hey Diddle
Diddle" to the music In ths song
books. That would be tho perform
ance of a little class. Older ones drill
on such versos as "Merry, Merry
Christmas Hells." They do not sing
these songs, bnt they mako tones In
harmony and tbey recognize a tnne
after the teacher has played a few
measures. To test them she begins
"Home, Sweet Home," and the chil
dren all smile.
"I nm sure," she soys, "that they
would recognize 'America' If n band
were playing It on the street, for they
would get tho rhythm. They like to
sing when It Is being played, and once
In Treinont Temple, when the pupils
were there for public school exercises,
they asked If they might Join In the
chorus, nnd I let them, ami they did
much better than people who 'have
no ear' for mnslc. They take such de
light In the '.Star Spangled Ilanner'
and all those national airs that I think
they ought to know them. Pleasure Is
not, however, the main object of our
music. Our serious school work cen
ters around the piano and It U of great
Importance."
Unlike other schools for the deaf.
the Horace Manu teaches exclusively
by the oral method and discourages ths
use of signs and the manual alphabet
At at Turkish nookstall
A writer, who spent much of his
early life In Turkey, observed that
Turkish books and booksellers were
amongst the curious features of the
country. "Tho Turkish booksellers,"
he said, "has a soul above trade. He
raroly or never attempts to push his
wares, and win cheerfully turn his
attention from a likely purchaser to
one who (being a lover of literature
merely wishes to talk with him about
books. He treasures some of bis more
valuable books so greatly that he can
hardly bo Induced to sell them, al
though they form part of his stock In
trade. It la only In disposing of the
Koran that his commercial talenta arc
seen, lucre is a law roruiddlng tho
sale of this sacred book, because It
s essential to the salvation of every
Turk, and tho bookseller Is supposed
to give It away. So he does; but In
Mils fashion: You make him a pres
ent of fifty piastre, and be makes
you a present of the Koran! Many
of tho books displayed by the book
seller are In manuscript, which the
old-fashioned Turks esteem more
highly than print."
0P1N AIR TOR BEAUTY.
Tho votary of tbo open air treatment
for beauty Is well wrapped up and oc
cupies a lounge cbalr out of doors,
with her feet raised from tho ground,
very day and In any weather, but
especially when tho sun shines.
For the Poor
A lot of minstrels went to n coun
try town and advertised to give a por
formanco for "tho benefit of the poor;
tickets reduced to 23 cents." The hall
was crammed full. The next morning
committee for the poor called upon
the treasurer of the concern for tho
mount the said benefit had netted.
he treasurer expressed astonishment
at the demnnd.
I thought," said the chairman of
the committee, "yon advertised this
oncert for the benefit of tho poorV"
Iteplled the treasurer:
"Didn't wo put tho tickets down to
quarter so that tho poor could nil
comoV"
Assistance,
"Which of tbeso books or periodi
cals would you recommend?" asked
tho woman with a pleasant srallo.
Well, lady," answered tho boy who
was nttendlng to tho depot news stand.
it depends. If you want genuine first-
class Information I d sell you dls copy
f do Sportlu' News, but If you lis'
wants somothtn' to t'row at do Pull
man porter I'd recommend dls substantial-bound
book by Herbert Speo-
cor." Washington Star.
Am
Impure blood always shows
somewhere. If the skin, then
boils, pimples, rashes. If the
nerves, then neuralgia, nerv
ousness, depression. If the
Sarsaparilla
stomach, then dyspepsia,
biliousness, loss of appetite.
Your doctor knows the
remedy, used for GO years.
" fUturrilnir frm U ('"tuti r, t wit
-t WMOsf JIT UiQ'tii 1. til, ( lit
I Wit r ri. Itut iff t.ottltl of inr'i
Bariijyarlll eofpiilel'f fm-l in "
11. j "hi mu, ncrtnion, r.
I HI CO ft txttl.
A (1 UrirfTf ISII.
for
Impure Blood
Aid tho Snrsapnrllln by keeping tho
nowcis roumr with Aynr'a Pills
Arralil to Itlak It.
"Will you have a piers t the apple
pie?" asked ths landlady of the Irish
bonrder.
"la it aflbrr belli' liflltliful V silked
Pot.
"Of couras It Is," she replied. "Whr
should you think It olhrrwlic?"
"Faith, an' Ol had a unels wanit who
doled av appls-plexy," explained the son
of Krlo. "sn Ol thought this molgbt be
soffielliln' sr the asine kulml, Ol duuno."
You Can Oct Allen's root-tiast FUErj.
Write Allen 8. Olmiled, a Ror.N. Y , for a
free sinle of Allen's foot-l im. It cum
'tlnr, liotiwollen, schlnf lf t It rnatei
new or light she! eafr. A rerislo cure for
corm, tnsrowlnt nslle end t.unloni Alldrux
tsts sell It. Tie Lton't accept sny suUllluut.
Wherein They Illrrnr.
The Villain The auxali of the other
world srs slways pictured with wings at
tached. The Houbrette Yes, and the "angels"
of the theatrical world are sttscbed to
the wings.
For bronchial IronMee try IMeo'e Cure
for Coniiinipiinii. It Is a good cough
medicine. At drogglnti. prlre 2i cents.
Quack! Quack!
A stranger entered the pvstofflcs thr
other day, and, approaching the ladles'
geliersl delivery window, asked:
"Any letters for John DrskeT"
"Next window, Mr. Drake." replied
the polite attendant. "This window Is
for durks only."
'Keeley LIOUOH-MORmiNE-TOBACCO
Qtffjra HABITS PERMAHCHTLY CUfftD
C.lU fOS FULL r-AAPCULsAS
nm wtrnitYiigimm.- ortlan.oi
Alas! Alack!
The fool-killer sst In his esay chslr
smoking his pipe of clsy, for he bsdu't
s thing to do on esrtb but while the time
swsy. Hut soon the fool-killer's pipe
went out snd then be burst into tears;
It was only a dream his regular work
was behind full s doien years.
Deafnsss Cannot Be Cures'
tiT local application! as tbey rennet reuh Ike
dlMsted iKirtlon ol the ear. laete Itoslrcse
way locuredeaiDMi, sod ttast It bv svlnlltn.
tlonal reinedlee. liealaeie It csuea bj aa In
lUmtd cuudltlun ol the uiuuui UblDr of tLe
Kuitschlsn Tube. When tMi tube ! fuEiim-l
you hsrs a rumbling tound or Itnparftct tear
ing, snd when It It entirely eloteu. Iteatoett It
the retult, and unlest the loflaramation can be
taken out snd thlt tubs rs-toied to Ita normal
condition, hearing wilt be drelroyed fortier;
nlnecaietoutof ten are cauted by Catarrh,
which It nothlnx but an Inflamed condition of
thtrmurout turfacet.
WewlUglfs One rfundred Pollen for sny
CSte of tleslnritrcatitetl by cstarrh) that can
not be cured by Hall's Catarrh Cure, t-end for
circulars, free.
r. 3. CHENEY A CO., Toledo, O.
Bold by tlrurditi, Tic.
llall't Family llllt are ths belt.
Addlns; Inautt to Injury.
Tha day bad been appointed for the
ceremony which was to make one of two.
hut tor tome reason beet known to the
fickle maid she had relinquished ths rlit
tcrlug solitaire.
"Oh, well," said ths yonag man la the
case, "I don't suppose I could le happy
wltb a woman who dyes her hair, any
way." "Sir, 'tis false!" she exclaimed indig
nantly. "is It?" he rejoined. "I thought It
was only dyed."
A prominent Southern lady.
Airs. Blancliard, of Nashville,
Tenn., tells how she was cured
of backache, dizziness, painful
and irregular periods by the use
of Lydia E. Pinkhara's Vegetable
Compound.
"Dkah Mns. Pikkhau: Gratitude
compels me to acknowledge tha great
merit of your Vegetable Compound. I
have suffered for four years wltb Ir
regular and painful menstruation, also
dizziness, pains In tho back and lower
limbs, and fitful sleep. I dreaded the
time to come which would ouly mean
suffering' to me.
" Better health is all I wanted, and
cure If possible. Iijdln E. Plnk
hnm's Vcfretnblo Compound
brought me health and happiness in
a few short months. I feel like another
person now. My aches and pains havo
left me. Ufa seems now and sweet to
me, and everything soems pleasant
anil easy.
" Six bottles brought me health, and
wns worth moro than months under
the doctor's care, which really did not
benefit me at all, I am satisfied there
is no medlciue so good for sick women
aa your Vegetable Compound, and I
advocate it to my lady friends in need
of medical help." Mns. Ik A. Ulak
ciiAnn, 423 Ilroad St., Nashville, Teun.
tSOOOforfrltlf trlilnalef stone ettsr srsaj
flaW ntntu casaot pndustd.
. ivtii jaisi ait 1111 Mitt.
It Ooush Sjrup. Ttutet uood. Uti
ta M (told Dr drurelatt.
tai
"Did you ever get Into an argument
wllh blm?" "Ves. Indeed." "He's
iiilte dogrnntlr. Isn't he?" "Oh. posi
tively bull dogmatic." Philadelphia
Ledger.
HoyleThe Korners live very fru
gally Indeed. They have cnst-lron rules
for the spending of their money. Hoyle
That Is what I should call rigid economy.-
-Kansas city Journol.
Willy Say, aurjtle, what did Unelt
Hob marry you for? Aunt Why, for
love, of course. Willy (meditatively)
H'rn! Ive will make a man do al
most anything, won't it, auntie?
Itsv. Dr. Thirdly Don't you know,
little boy, that you shouldn't fish on
tho Kabhath day? Tommy Toddles 1 1
ain't n-flshln', boss, I'm Jus' tearhln'
worms how tcr swim. Chicago Chron
icle. "Is she a new woman?" "Hotter
than new, even. You seo, sbo eruril
one hundred thousand dollalrs alimony
from her last husband, and that mnkei
her Improved property." New York
Times.
"How many lodges did you say your
hnsbond belonged to?" she suddenly
asked. "Fifteen." "Mercy on me! Itut
think of a man being out fifteen nights
a week! I am really glad that I'm a
wklow."
"Now, this fair," said the man who
had been chasing around Ht. Douis,
with his nose In the sir, "Is plenty big
enough, but" "Ah!" Interrupted the I
wise observer. "Are you from Chi-1
cago or Huffalo?"
In India barbers rank high. So
cially they are the equals of ths
priests." "Ssy, where do poets come
In over there?" "Same place they do
nsre." "Where's that?" "Among ths
Illustrious dead." Chicago Itecord-
Herald.
"Is the boss going to give you ths
raise you asked for?" "Well er I'm
afraid to say. I told blm I thought
my psy should be commensurate with
the amount of work I do, and bs
promptly agreed with me." Philadel
phia Press.
"You must not expect me to give up
by girlhood's ways all at once," said
the happy bride. "Oh, I won't," be re
plied. "I hope you'll keep right on
taking an allowance from your father
Just as If nothing had happened."
Superior Telegram.
Employment Agent What was ths
matter with yonr last place? Dom'es
tlc The missus was too particular.
Dmployment Agent In what way? Do
mestic 6he wouldn't let me lock tht
baby In the foklln' bed w'en I had com
pany. New York Weekly.
"So you are learning to spell, are you,
Johnny?" asked grandmamma. "Yes,
grandma," was the reply. "Well, lei
me hear you spell 'bread. I don't
believe I can, grandma." replied the
little felllow. "But I think If I had a
small piece of cake I could spell that'
Great Editor I think It would be a
good idea to print our circulation at ths
bead of our editorial page. What's tht
population of this country? Buslnesi
Manager About forty million. Great
Editor Well, we'll not claim a circu
lation of over thirty-five million. Nc
nse exaggerating.
Teacher Where Is Russia? Inter
val of dead silence. "Come, now I
come, come; you ought to be ashamed
of yourselves not to know where Rus
sia Is, especially Just now. Where li
It?" Tommy I knows, teacher. Teach
er Well, where? Tommy Up a
bloomln' tree, teacher!
Y'east They say babies are nevei
seasick. Crlmsonbeak Well, that ac
counts for something. Y'east What's
that? Crlmsonbeak When I was
crossing, last summer, I saw a -man
as sick as he could be, singing, "Back
ward, turn backward, O Time, In yout
flight; make me a child again, Just foi
to-night." Y'onkers Statesman.
"I want half a pound of water crack
ers," said Mrs. Newcome. "All-flred
sorrry, ma'am," replied the country
storekeeper, "but I ain't got but two
dosen of 'em In the place." "Well, I'll
take them." "Jest wait ten, twenty
minutes. Ill refers an' Josh Slocum
has been usln' them fur checkers, an'
they're playln' the decldln' game now."
Mrs, Morton (angrily) Tommy Hor
ton, what made you bit my little John
ny? Tommy Horton He struck ins
with a brick. Mrs. Morton (more an
grily) Well, never let me hear of your
hitting him again. If ho hits you. you
come and tell me. Tommy Horton
(sneerlngly) Y'es; and what would you
do? Mrs. Morton Why, I'd whip him.
Tommy norton (In disgust) What! he
hits me with a brick, nnd you have the
fun of licking him for It? Not much!
Declares Ivskliiios Doomeit.
The Itev. Mr. ltyberg, pastor of tho
First Congregational Church at Nome,
urges Tresldent Roosevelt to do some
thing toward snvlug the Eskimo popu
lation of Alaska.
"Though they have saved the lives
of hundreds of gold seekers," says he,
"this kind nnd childlike race Is rapid
ly passing away. Its members are
meeting a sad and undeserved fate.
Shamefully neglected by our govern
ni.nt, the last chapter of their history
Is being rapidly written in cruel char
acters of neglect and want, disease and
crime."
The mlnlstor declares that the res
ervations are unsuitable to Eskimos,
but that four to six colonies between
Point Barrow nnd tho mouth of tho
Yukon will solve tho problem lu two
years.
Initubltntile.
"How did you prove that tho ac
cused was not from Boston, us ho
claimed?"
'Got blm to swear that ho never
heard of lJmerson and that Boston
beans were not cooked with salt pork."
Detroit Free Press.
A youthful aspirant for Journalistic
distinction, who was asked to wrlto
it article on superstition and lmbeclll.
tn beenn his essay tlius: "That Imbe
cility Is not on the wane, perusal of the
followlnc lines will amply demon-strata."
AcCclaUcPrepaMlionror As
similating HicFoodnndnct'ula
tuig the Stouwchs and Dowels oT
H l.'l S.l.SISS,f Offll AiXTXalTTSl
Promotes Digc3tion.Chccrrur
ncasareincst.Contains nelllicr
Omtim.Morpliine nor Mineral.
INotNaiicotic.
JnJiM Serti"
Jtx.tttvut .
Xnur.Wrf
It (atwnltcda
HirmSfd-
Apofecl ncmedy rorConsUrvi.
tlon. Sour Slotnnch.Dinrrlioca
iVorms .Convulsions .Fcvcrtsh
ness end Loss OF SLEEP.
Facsimile Signature of
NEW YOTIK.
YIA
Why, or Conrse.
..?::"::TT.teJ5sT. Helen's hall
of Biscay one Innocent young lady,
speaking to another, said:
"Why do the stewards come In and
open or shut the portholes at odd
times during the day and nlgbt?"
Second and better Informed lady:
"My dear, they shut or open them
when the tide rises or falls."
Quite a Different Thing.
"George says he never has so good
a time sb when he Is out wltb me,"
asserted the girl In brown. "Does he
really?" returned the girl In gray,
coniniiseratlngly. "Now, Alfred Is
quite different When he's 'out' with
mo he's unhappy until be makes It
up." Brooklyn Kagle.
OLUTE
SECURITY
Genuine
Carter's
Little Liver Pills.
Must Boor Signature of
.5e Facsimile Wrapper Below.
Terr assail aad aa easy
to taJte aa aagox.
FOn HEADACHE.
FOR DIZZINESS.
FOR BILIOUSNESS.
FOn TORPID LIVER.
FOR CONSTIPATION.
FOR SALLOW SKIN.
FOR THECOMPLEXIOH
CARTERS
IlTTLE
IVER
PILLS.
- . a OmVUIZtM MgTsaMIU0NATUt.
tTcStts I Partly TetJsWevW
CURE SICK HEADACHE.
No. 39-1904
WUEN wrlttnc to adrertlaers plotae
mention tbia paper.
AOS
"DID'INT HURT A
IS WHAT
ran pitrir-t nna
out hurttnr a bit, and
amo ub) ii you uesii
our BTStera ol crown
ltuile, quick and ialnles.
Dr F. A. HI act more will have charge oi
ourOreiham office every baturday. The
doctor Is a Rraduate and reicl'tered dentist,
and ne feel coutident that he will treat the
rople right.
lu evening" till 9 Sundays from 9 to 1.
Thone Main 20.-J.
WISE BROS., Dentists
RUSSELL HIGH GRADE MACHINERY
ENGINES
BOHERS
SAW
MILLS
The A. H. Averill Machinery Co., P0D
You Can Count Your Chickens lietors Titer Are
llatchoJ In a CHATHAM IKCUIIATOK.
Kvery fertle igg you put Into a Chsthsm Incu.
bsior 111 come out a bi'allhy, (lurdy chlct. 1 hat
Is tho recorit the Chsthsm Incubator has made for
Itself and the Chsthsm Uroeder will brlitK them
up letter than the moat motherly hen. lliere Is
big money to be made In raisins; chickens with a
Chatham lucubator. Ths farmer who overlooks
this branch of hU bualneis Is neglecting one ot the
srcateit profit producing departments of his farm,
1 he 1'aclllo font li not producing enough chicle.
rni to aunply their own wauls. Cnlckeu railing
liprullt
aoie.
UUK
HFFKIl: Wo will sell tou a Chatham In
cubator on time. It will make many times Us coat
to you. epay me ireignt. urue me lor our
Tnlque Catalog and useful hints on poultry rais
ing. Costs you nothing, Do it now.
GEO. W. rOOTT
Paoltlo Ooast Ayont
Box 40U SACRAMENTO, OAU
For Infants and ChHdron.
The Kind You Have
Always Bought
Beara the
Signature
of
In
Use
For Over
Thirty Years
PORTLAND
A GIItL'S SCHOOL OP TIIK HIOUKST
CLa 84 corps of tend- e t, locution, build
in equipment the teit Bend for cat
avlogue. Term Oponn Soptembor I0V!9O4
POSITIONS GUARANTEED
15,000 forfeit pUcel with a National Hank to
make good anr failure on our part. Catalogue
free. Write tod a jr.
Boutol BuslnoBs CoUoqo
Tmaomm, Wmmh,
PR I COS THAT TALK.
Beat raW a tilted it and ant wrought Iron tlrs
Inch, SVJU per luu fet- HetU galranlzed
tandard wrought Iron pipe, 1 Inch, 17.9 per
AW ICC I. All sUCC 111 (.IBCat.
i and gal
i. Wood
pipe at loweil market prlcei. om pump
catiacltr one barrel ier minute. 1. Kuhb
leather and cant a lei ting, note and pacitng
at wholeiale prlcei. Write un for your wanta
In the machinery line. Irrigation plants a
specialty. Itelerson Machinery Co., Port
land, Oregcn.
BUY
FROM
YOUR DEALER
Dr. C. Gee Wo
WONDERFUL
HOME
TREATMENT
Ttala wonderful L'hU
era doctor la callrd
grvat Dccstus he cur
Popl without oDera-
lon tbat argivu ur
lo die. 11 euro with
IhoM wonderful I'lit
ties twba, roou, Judi,
barki and vKiablr
that ara entirely uih
kuowu io mrdlCkU aci
roc In Ihia cu intrr. Ihrnuu-h ihs
Ihoa barmlrit nmrdlrc thla famous doctor
knows lh aciioc of over 600 dlRvrtnt reiiv
Mitts, wtili h be surcrurully os la d nVrvnt
dlaas. 11 KuarautM io cur caltarh, anlv
mm, long, throat, rheumatism, norvousneM.
stomach, llTtr, kidnrjs, ttci ba hundred or
lestlmoQlala. Charges mMerat. Ctvil and
sew biro. I'atlenia vui of lb cil writs for
blanks and circulars. nd stamp. CUNtiUl
T ATI UN I'UKK. AUUKtvaa
TheC Gee Wo Chinese Medicine Co,
251 Alder St.. furUafiJ, Oregon.
irMut.ou paper.
BIT
99
TMJiY SAY
nr nil rnnr teth with
put in new tteth the
anl brldire work 1
aJU. V .1. it W.
208-J13 Fu,ni 7oVtiZ?iS&H
THRESHERS
STACKERS
Write for Catalogue
and Prices
7W'
S tsaW
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nHGTftniii
TMS Ol ITT AON SOW MITT. PI (W TO H OfTY.