Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907, August 12, 1904, Image 2

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    Tubingen Is tho latest ot the Ger
man universities to open Its door to
W. K. Vanderbllt Is to build an In
ride tennis court In bis winter homo
at Oakdale, Mass., to cost about ?90,
000. The following sign Is displayed In n
book shop In Chambers street. New
York! "Dickens works here all this
week for $1.60."
Of 3,701 vessels which passed
through tho Sue canal last year, 2,
278 carried the British nag. The total
receipts of the canal were 4,120,000.
Tho valleys of the Payette and Boll
lUvcrs, In Southern Idaho, are soon to
bo the scene of n stupendous Irriga
tion work by tho government The
project Is to reclaim 372,000 acres of
The Inhabitants of malarious regions
In India can now purchase qululna it
practically cost price. It Is put up In
small packages by the government and
sold at the rate of 1 cent for ten
The Japanese cuisine does not In
clude butchers' meat, bread, butter
and potatoes. Hlce Is not, as com
monly supposed, the dally food of the
poor, but can be afforded by the well-to-do
The gamoy flavor of meat Is gained
by the bacteria feeding upon It These
develop within an hour after food Is
exposed on pantry shelves, and long
before the flavor Is appreciable to tho
senses the bacteria that produce them
are abundant
Largo Investigations are now being
made looking forward to the better
ment of the present facilities and re
sources of the reclamation projects In
the Northwest, and it is thought tho
near future will sea rapid progress
along these lines.
The annual report of the New Jer
sey State Geologist shows that during
1003 there were S5.0IU acres of forest
destroyed by Are, which is 13.S04 acres
less than in 1002. The damage, how
ever, aggregated more than In 1P02 by
(137,421, or an increase of 82 per cent
Statistics are quoted showing that
while in India the average occurrence
of leprosy Is three or four cases per
10,000 of population, in the island of
Mlnlcoy, In the Indian ocean, whose
inhabitants are devoted to fishing, it
Uses to 100, and at Kallgoan, a fish,
curing center, It amounts to 600. Har
per's Weekly.
In forty-two clubs, more than 1,300
boys of the East Side of New York
have been gathered to form the Ju
venile City League. Each club repre
sents a city block, and each boy
pledges himself to abstain from litter
ing the streets, while he also promises
to persuade others to do as well.
The World's Work.
The De Beers Company produces
03 per cent of the diamond output of
t,. rM it nan an annual dividend
of CO per cent on its "common" stock,
in the last year and a half It has raised
the price of these necessities of life
only Ave times, from 30 to 35 per cent
In all. American imports of diamonds
have greatly decreased in consequence.
Everybody's Magazine.
For a winter climate Colorado
Springs has a reputntiou second to no
locality ifl the United States. During
the winter of 10O3-'O4 hundreds of rob
Ins, bluebirds, Spanish sparrows, ori
oles and turtle doves made their homes
In that vicinity, and there was no
weather during the whole season so se
Tere as to harm them. There were
817 clear days in the year.
Bricks are now being made of clean
sand and ground quicklime that are
cald to bo as substantial as granite.
They cost $2.60 a thousand. The mixed
Ingredients are forced into a strong
steel cylinder mold by means of a
crew. After tho air has been sucked
from the cylinder, hot water Is admit
ted, the rock being formed by the re
sulting pressure and heat Country
tlfe In America.
During the years 1002 and 1003 thera
was an almost complete failure of lha
French sardine catch. This year, how
ever, the Indications point to a fine
catch and the packers and exporters
nra hopeful for the first time since
1001. It now seems certain that tho
absence of sardines last year and the
year before was due solely to the cold
and boisterous spring. Consular He
port from Nantes.
In 1805 Durham was a village of a
dozen houses. When the soldiers plun
dered the place they got a quantity of
smoking tobacco. They liked it so well
that they hardly got home before they
began to write to Durham to get more.
There were in tho town men of enough
enterprise to see the opportunity which
this situation offered them. It was not
long before Durham salesmen were
selling Durham tobacco in every part
of the world. The World's Work.
Treatment Now lu Hitch Favor Abroad
for Nervous Cases.
As long ago as 1883 Dr. J. Leonard
Corning of New York brought forward
this plan of managing functional ner
vous disorders In a monograph entitled
"Brain Ilest, a Disquisition on the
Curative Properties of Prolonged
aiMn" mid In a auhsrnuent edition.
published In 1835, the whole matter
of practical management was emtio
rated to the last detail, Bays the Med
ical llecord. Dr. Corning observes that
"as applied to the brain, rest Implies
something totally different from that
which Is described by the term when
used In connection with the muscle,
Joint or spinal cord. This radical dlf
( rhieflv owing to the fact
...I iirnln being the organ of the
Intellectual processes, rest, In so far as
It concerns tnat organ, meuu uuimug
ess than a cessation of mentallzatlou,
with all thereby implied. It is ImpoBsl
bit by a more flat of tho will to cause
cessation of thought; tho very Idea em
bodies a contradiction, for the will ns
physiologically understood Is Itself a
product of very complicated intollec
tipn, and cannot therefore, be regard
ed as a tain ml gonerla something
without the pale ot other psychical pro
cesses." Only during sleep Is the ideal
rrpose of the cerebral faculties real
ized. ,But, while n physiological
amount of sleep is sufficient to achieve
this In health, the period of uncon
scious repose must be greatly augment
ed when by overtaxation of Inordlualo
mental strain tho nervo cell has be
come devitalized and Is no longer able
to hoard up n sufficient store of energy
during the usual period of unconscious
ness. It Is iu such cases that prolong
ed sleep, a sleep continued for ten. fif
teen or even twenty hours at a time,
achieves the most striking results.
'As a rule." observes Dr. Corning,
"I am In the habit of sochidlug the
subject In a darkened room, eventually
for from ten to fifteen hours at n time,
according to the amount of sleep It Is
desired should be had during the twenty-four
hours. I do not, however, at
tempt great things In the way of sleep
at first; but, on the contrary, the dura
tion of the period of unconsciousness
is progressively Increased by the util
ization of habit, hydrotherapy, appro
priate food, and, In urgent cases, mod
erate medication." in tho extreme
cases the period of sleep Is prolonged
to as much as twenty hours at a time,
the patient being awakened and given
small quantities of nourishment and
then allowed to sleep again. Ho warns,
moreover, against the evils accruing
from attempts to keep In bed nervous
Irritable persons while In a conscious
condition. Such Individuals should be
told to lie down only on the appearance
of drowsiness, which, In Intractable
cases, may be brought on by the mod
erate use of sedatives, during the lattcH
part of the day, and exceptionally by
the exhibition of hypnotics before re
tiring. Recumbency, then. Is purely in
cidental, the prolonged unconsciousness
Is all. In thus strenuously Insisting
on the radical difference between cere
bral and ordinary corporeal rest Dr.
Corning has rendered a substantial and
practical service.
A "Toast" Which Steam More Now
than When First OtTen.
That familiar toast, "Here's to wom
anonce our superior, now our equal,"
Is much more than a clever bit of ban
quet fooling. It was a Jest when first
spoken; It Is taken as fact now. We
have socn In recent years a steady
diminution of the deference to woman
which In the past century was a part
of every boy's education. Even the
bow, once a genuflection of real com
pllment has deteriorated Into a fash
ionable shrug; the kiss Is unmentlon
able except as a microbe exhibit, and
as for surrendering comforts from a
sense ot duty, here Is the very latest
authority from the very latest book of
etiquette: "The old custom of a man
giving bis seat In a street car to a
woman is being gradually done away
with. This is due largely to the fact
that women are now so extensively en
gaged In commercial business that they
are constant riders at busy hours, and
thus come Into direct competition with
the men." And we find this delicious
passage In the further elaboration of
the rules: "A woman should not look
with a pained and Injured air at the
man passengers because no one of
them has offered her a seat" Really,
It comes as a balm to the soul to be
told that "A man should never cross
his legs or keep his feet extended In
the passageway." Custom rules and It
does little good to sigh for the good old
days. Still, we shall cling to the be
lief that good manners cannot go who!
ly out of fashion, that deference to
woman is excellent not only for the
woman but for the man, and that the
gentleman who is guided by the better
promptings of bls.nature and the high
er teachings ot his youth will get more
abiding satisfaction out of life than by
ignoring woman simply because she
dares to try the only way of becoming
Independent by making ber own liv
ing. Saturday Evening Post
Did Ills Best
In the absence of tho regular so
ciety reporter the dramatic critic of
the Dally Chronicler was detailed to
"write up" a wedding. "I'll do the
best I can," he said, "but I feel sure I
shall make a botch of It" This is
what he turned In omitting the pre
liminary remarks about the size of
the audience and the delay In begin
ning the performance:
Mr. Burnside, In the rola of the
bridegroom, acted the part In a stiff
yet listless manner. He has a good
stage presence, but mars the effect by
a total lack of animation and an al
most Inaudible voice.
Miss Jones, as the bride, was much
more effective. Her costume was be
wildering, yet true to life. If one may
venture to criticise, ber effort to over
come ber obvious stage fright was a
trifle too evident She was in good
voice, however, and her enunciation
was clear and distinct
It must be confessed that both Miss
Jones and Mr. Burnside were deficient
In their lines, and bad to be prompted
almost constantly by the Itev. Jabez
Simpson, who, as the officiating cler
gyman, was decidedly the star of the
Pure Angora. Goats.
Tho breeder of pure Angora goats
must give close attention to his flocks
the year around. A doe will often
leave a new-born kid to Join ber flock
as soon as It gets out of her sight, nor
will she return to her kid unless the
flock happens to feed thut way. Nat
urally many kids are lost, and others
would die If tbey were not taken care
of. A few head of well-bred goats
may bo found profitable on any farm,
especially on a farm where brush kill
ing Is an Improvement, as no other
will destroy shrubs so quickly.
A Future for Illln.
Mrs. Skemcr WIIIIo'b teacher soys
Willie never gets his arithmetic sums
right at all.
Mr. Skemer Mebbe It'll be all for
the best He may turn out to bo an
expert short-change artist. Philadel
phia Press.
Plume Producer.
Archer it is well that Kve was cre
ated.. Harker Why so J
Archer Well, the ostrich would not
have had any commercial value If she
had not been.
A miserly man Is ono who refuses to
lend you a few dollars.
Opinions of
The Ministry.
a F tho 20.000 men and women who graduated
I 1 from our universities and colleges last month
I & V I only 1.500 aspire to preach the gospel. As
B N.I . - I I-.-. I .... .... nnl,tnt. It,
the United States this contribution Is Insuffi
cient to keep up the supply. Here and there
are men and women who have never had a col
lege or theological training who are discharging tho duties
of the pulpit, but they are few compared to those w ho have
had these advantages, so that virtually
plrants Is a correct measure of the extent of the minis
terial ambition.
The principal reasons why tha number of candidates
for the clergy Is growing less relatively year by year are
that congregations are getting more exacting, that the pay
Is small and the occupation tho least attractive of tho pro
fessions. This Is the selfish point of view. Thou, tho con
scientious student who may be religiously Inclined and who
sees great opportunities for doing good in the calling, some
times Is deterred because he cannot satisfy his conscience
of the truth of some of tho doctrines of
er than preach something which he cauuot believe lu he
turns his talents to another calling.
Another hindrance Is that the religious unrest, so palpa
ble lu the world. Is much more pronounced lu the higher
halls of learning. Here agnosticism, materialism, indlffcr
entlsm, are at work sapping the early religious training
and turning the mind In Its formative stage against the
pulpit. Much harm Is wrought here by the scoffer and the
unbeliever who are never so happy as when reviling
Christianity and everything pertaining to its mlsslonal
The world was never so generous In Its support of
Christian churches and charities as It Is to-day and no
where else Is this extended with the generosity of that of
the I'uited States. Yet tho disposition to preach Is not
keeping abreast of tills sentiment. If it were, the candi
dates for the priesthood this year would number 4,000 or
6,000 Instead of 1,500. Utlca Globe.
Tho Profit of Good Roads.
OW that the country Is measurably well sup
Nlpllcd with railroads which haul the farmer's
products to market at an average rate of a half
Is y.n, tnn nr mil It hpirln to he of nrlme
Importance that the average cost of hauling
from the farm to the railway stitlon, which
Is about twenty-five cents per ton per mile.
should be reduced. The Department of Agriculture claims
that this cost could be reduced two-thirds by the simple
substitution of good macadamized roads for the ordinary
dirt highways now In use.
Pennsylvania's new road law, which divides the cost of
making permanent roads between tha State, couuty and
township, was Inspired by a desire to begin tho solution
of this problem In a way that would prove least burden
some to the farmers themselves. So far, however, Its pro
visions have not been taken advantage of as widely as
was anticipated. It seems worth while to call attention to
the fact that practically similar laws are
tion, with excellent results, in New York. New Jersey.
Massachusetts, California and elsewhere. In the State llkp
New Jersey, where the law has been In operation longest,
the benefits are marked.
It Is tha first step that costs, however. In road-making
as In everything else. When a few experimental sections
of really good highways have been provided as object les
sons. It is to be hoped that Pennsylvania farmers will fall
in line with those of other States, where permanent road
laws have been longer In force. Philadelphia Bulletin.
Our Illiterate Citizens.
HERE Is food for thought In
t'nlted States census report
1 I cation. Thus we learn that In 1000 there were
A I o qo,i Wl men nf !i jtp nf '1 or nrr whn
were unable to read or write. This great
army of illiterates constituted 11 per cent of
the voting strength of the nation an electorate
In itself sufficiently strong, If suitably distributed, to de
termine national principles and policies.
Of the total 077.000 were negroes
a percentage wulrn wuen conipareu
The Woods Indians, as Stewart Ed
ward White calls the OJlbways and
Woods Crees north of Lake Superior,
are distinctly nomadic. They search
out new trapping grounds and new
fisheries, they pay visits, and seem
even to enjoy travel for the sake of
exploration. This life, says the author
of "The Forest" inevitably develops
and foslers an expertness of woodcraft
almost beyond belief.
Another phase of this almost perfect
correspondence to environment Is the
readiness with which an Indian will
meet on emergency. We are accus
tomed to rely first of all on the skilled
labor of some one we can hire; second,
if wo undertake the Job ourselves, on
tho tools mado for us by skilled labor;
and third, on tho shops to supply us
with the materials wo need. Hardly
once In n lifetime are we thrown en
tirely on our own resources. Then wa
bunglingly Improvise a makeshift
The Woods Indian possesses his
knife and bis light ax. Ho never Im
provises makeshifts. No matter what
the exigency or how complicated the
demand, bis experience answers with
accuracy. Utensils and tools he knows
exactly where to find. His Job is neat
and workmanlike, whether It is the
construction of a bark receptacle, water-tight
or not; the making of a pair
of snow shoes, the repairing of a badly
smashed canoe, the building of a shel
ter, or the fashioning of a paddle.
About noon one day Tawablnlsay
broke bis ax-helve square off. This to
us would have been a serious affair.
Probably if left to ourselves, we should
have stuck In some sort of a rough
handle made of a straight sapling,
which would have answered well
enough until wa could have bought an
other. By tho time we had cooked
dinner that Indian had fashioned an
other helve. Wo compared It with a
manufactured helve. It was as well
shaped, as smooth, as nicely balanced.
In fact, as we laid tho now and tha
old side by side, wo could not have
selected, from any evidence of the
workmanship, which bad been made
by machine and which by hand.
Tawablnlsay then burned out the
wood from the ax, retempered tha
steel, set the new helve, and wedged
It neatly with lronwood wedges. Tho
whole affair, Including the cutting of
the timber, consumed perhaps half an
Great Papers on Important Subjects.
years before shows up to the manifest disadvantage of
the dominant race. Thus In I.N70 the excoss of Illiterate
negroes over Illiterate whites was 00.000. while now, thirty
years later, the latter outnumber tho formor by 277,000.
Nor can we Justly retort that theso Illiterate whites are.
aliens dumped upon our shores through the agency of Im
migration. Of tho total number of whlto Illiterates only
!W5.0i)0 are foreign born, while the native horn' number
USS.000, or an excess of 113.000. Nor Is tills the worst of It.
The report shows tint the percentage of Illiterates among
the native horn sons of American parents Is nearly three
times as great as among tho native born sons of foreign
parents. Evidently our foreign bom citizens have a higher
appreciation of the advantages of education than many of
the uumuer or as
Christianity. Soon
already In opera
the figures of the
dealing with edn-
and 1,254.000 whites,
wun mar or tnirty
To travel wjth a Woods Indian Is a
constant source of delight on this ac
count The Indian rarely needs to hunt
for tho materials ho requires. He
knows exactly where they grow, and
be turns as directly to them us a clerk
would turn to his shelves. No prob
lem of the living of physical life Is too
obscure to have escaped his varied ex
perience. You may travel with Indians
for years, and learn every summer
something new nnd delightful about
how to take care of yourself.
Facte the Japaneao Learned Before
Opening Iloatllitlea.
The care taken by the Japanese to
make sure that tbey were right before
going ahead Is shown by the fact that,
previous to the war with Russia, they
took tho greatest pains to uncertain
the actual value as a lighting force of
the much vauuted Cossack cavalry,
says the army and navy register. The
conclusion was, to uso the language
of tho Japanese official from whom wo
obtain this information, that they
were "a mere bugaboo." It was found
that the custom of the Russian gov
ernment was to furnish each Cossack
lu Manchuria with a fixed sum for the
purchase of a horse. One-half of this
sum be put Into his pocket and pur
chased the best horse bo could with
the remainder. Tho money given for
the purchase of fodder was treated In
the sanio way and the Jiorso left to pick
up a living as best ha could.
The result was shown In a serious
deterioration In the efficiency of the
Cossacks. Similar dishonesty wus
prevalent In the other departments of
Russian army administration, an Illus
tration of which Is found In the story
of the Itusslun officers found guilty
of selling powder to the Chinese and
putting sand In its place.
The Japanose even assert that tho
number of troops under the command
of ICouropatkln was misrepresented,
so that money might be made by draw
ing supplies for fictitious warriors, To
make full allowanco for contingencies
the Japanese estimated tbo number of
Russians they would encounter on tho
Yalu as 40,000 In all and sent 00,000
troops ugalnst them. It was found In
the end that tha Russians had only
20,000 men to oppose the crossing of
the river. Brooklyn Eagle.
If you go around oxploltlng a fool
belief, peoplo will notice It and talk
about It People who have fool bellofs
are not accorded as much charity is
the native stock.
At no time In our history has the percontago of Illit
erates been as great as today. During tha past sixty
years tho percentage ot this clots of citizens has Increased
from 0.15 to 11.00, desplto our free school system and the
earnest efforts to popularize education. The Stats having
tho largest number of Illiterates Is Georgia, as might be
expected, with Its great negro population and Its largo
number of struggling whites. Pennsylvania Is next, having
130.0S2 Illiterates, as compared with 158.217 for Georgia.
The percentage of Illiterates among the native born voters
of New Mexico Is 25. Utlca Globe.
Tho Disappearance of tho Mtilo Teacher.
O one will deny that many of tha best school
teachers In the country are women. There nrc
parts of tho delicate and highly Important
task of training tho young which can bivst be
done by tactful and geutle womeu. Hut It Is
also the serious opinion of experts that grow
ing boys should very largely be under the care
of men. There is n certain inspiration of manly leader
ship which a boy grUly needs, nud which he can only get
from a manly man. Tho Influence of a thoroughly robust
school teacher upon his clnsi of boys cannot be calculated.
Ho puts before them constantly a model of manliness, and
high honor, and attractive Industry, and clean courage,
which leaves its stump upon their forming minds through
all the rest of their lives.
The generation of Iwys which must always go to
school to women, and to no one else, will lose something
very valuable out of their Behool-day training. They may
get ns much arithmetic and grammar and history and the
rest of It from tho women as from the men. but they can
no more get the quality of manliness from women than
they can get the quality of refinement from men. Our
schools should be "manned" with men ns well as women,
and If we have permitted tho financial attractions of the
profession to fall so far behind the Increasing attractions
of competitive callings as to allow all tho young men to be
drawn away from tills profession, we have boen guilty
of n serious betrayal of trust to the generation which Is
now growing up. Our fathers did not so misuse us.
Montreal Star.
Wireless Telegraphy in War.
HE question of tho value of wireless telegra
phy In war has already been considered. Now
It is supplemented by that of Its legality. The
Russian (iovcrum'ent has practically served no
tice til lit it regards It as Illegal. At any rate,
the list of such a device at the seat of war will
lie treated as a breach of neutrality. Corre
spondents telegraphing without wires will be shot as spies,
aud vessels equipped with wireless telegraphic apparatus
venturing near tho scono of war will. If caught, be con
fiscated as contraband of war. So far us correspondents
accompanying tho Russian army aro concerned, we may
unhesitatingly concede tho Russian tho right of censorship.
That Is n matter of course. A belligerent power lias the
undoubted right to decide whether It will permit corre
spondents to accompany its army at nil and If It docs let
theni do so It can. of course, preserlbo what matter they
may send through the linos, and how. Similarly. It may
exercise a censorship over news vessels entering Its terri
torial waters, or the waters Implicated In the sphere of
belligerent action. But a gcuerul outlawing of wireless
telegraphy In that part of the world would ba a much
more extreme matter New York Tribune.
When n Mississippi River steamboat
has passed Cairo, bound down, there Is
no opportunity to obtain deck-hands
till Memphis Is reached. Consequent
ly tho colored roustabouts linvo things
all their own way In thut short spaco.
On n recent trip tbo passengers enmo
on deck at Hlckinnn, ICy., to find the
steamer lying Idle, nnd tho crow re
posing peacefully on Jioxcs and bales
on deck, and on the sloping bank.
"What's tho mutter)" somo one aslt
ed tho captain.
"Niggers struck for two hours' rest,"
ho replied, patiently.
After many vexatious delays tho ves
scl reached Canitliersvlllo, Mo., and
there It lay In Idleness the next morn
ing when tho pnssengers camo out.
"What's wrong?" again asked one
"Niggers struck for bread-rolls for
breakfast. Say they're tired of hard'
tack," said the officer, still without
A third morning tho awakening puB
scngers found their vessel again moor
ed by tho riverside, this time at Bar
field, Ark. On the bank were tho roust'
nbputs, holding a noisy meeting,
"Strlko again?" asked a passenger.
"No, seh," replied tho captain, "but
there's going to be. The niggers are
up on 'the bunk, tryln' to decldu what
they'll strlko for next. I'm right cross
at 'em, though, aud ef they don't agreo
pretty soon I'm going to cut und leavo
'em, nnd deliver my freight on tho way
Buinci Amusement Kohomix.
The railway companies of tho coun
try arc engaged In nil kinds of umuso
ment schemes, with the Idea of attract'
lug patronage, nnd the lutest Innova
tion of this character has taken place
In Cleveland, whero the manager of a
street railway company has organized
a baseball league. Each of the towns
along the Una has n nine, und a reg.
ulur schedule bus been arranged. The
rallwuy company has supplied tho unt
forms and offered other substantial as
slstauca besides undertaking to carry
tho players free to nnd from the games.
Tho company, however, does not par
ticipate In the profits of the team, but
is repaid merely hy mo increased busi
ness resulting from tho games.
Sometimes this happens: A man
who has been sensible all his Ufa lets
a fool muke a fool out ot him,
Jokea and Jokeleli tluit Are Hummied
to lluve llccu Recently Ilnrii-Hujlims
and llolnue Hull Are Old, Curious aud
I.uuulmhlc-Tho Week's Humor.
l.ndy Shopper Would you recom
mend this changeable silk?
Clerk Decidedly, initdam; It Is tho
most appropriate kind of dress for
this sort of weather. Detroit Kroo
The Crunk,
Still, the crunk's no hideous thing
You'll see on slight retlfclloii,
The crunk can do u world of good
If turned the right direction.
New Orleans Times-Democrat
Her Catch.
"if you don't stop talking," caution
il the husband. "I'll not bo nblu to
cntch any llsh."
"That'll funny," answered the wife,
When n girl nnglcs for n husband
she has to talk n grout deal."
I know, lint there's n difference
between tlsh mid lobsters."
The Culture.
Alphonse Do you know
how to
write a check?
(iiislim -Yes. I can write It all right:
nit the trouble Is with the cashier
he won't cash it. Detroit l'rco Press.
Line ur Infants up and practice until what has hitherto been mere
noise becomes pleasing harmony.
Takluu No Chuiicre.
'You should send your offspring to
college," said nne of those peoplo wni
will always udvlse. "ou (Ion t wn'il
to ! ashamed ot your chlldreu, do
"No, by heck!" draw lea I no oiu
farmer In red-topped boots. "An i
don't want to send them to college nn'
have them come back an' bo ashamed
of me. either."
I.tlcrnrjr Hucrcae.
Ernie Beatrice wrote a novel and
t wus netimlly published.
Eva Gracious! And did sho get
,ny royally?
Ernie Yes, Indeed. She mad-'
enough out of the sales to buy herself
a foreign nobleman.
Where Hhe Woulil lie Itlslit In Line.
Mr Jester Shnll wo go to tho moun
tains this summer?
Mrs. Jester I haven't anything to
Mr. Jester Then we'll go to the sea
billionaire Is a.
curious per-
"iu what wny?"
"He'll glvo hundreds of thousand?
of dollars io establish universities, but
It makes him cross to sea tha tax col
lector coming nround for his share of
support for tho public schools."
Washington Star.
Gunner They wiy If you get a di
vorce you will never have any luck,
Guycr I know ono man that had
Gunney Indeodl Who Is he?
Guyer A divorce attorney.
Hiilllcent Reason.
Wife How happy that woman who
lives on tho corner nbovo us appears
to be. I liuvo never mado her ac
quaintance. Husband You havo furnished the
explanation. Detroit Kreo Press.
A. Olher. Hee lis.
"Do you think this photograph does
mo Justice?" asked Miss Klderlctgh,
"I should sny not," replied Mist
Youugbiid. "Why, It makes you np
pear ten years younger than you really
Shurpo Wodwoud suys tho baby Is
tbo light of Ills life.
Whealton Light? Why, ho told mo
when he hud to hold him ten minutes
ho felt llko lend, Chicago News,
Wlllluir Victim.
Sho When I set my faco against
anything I mean It
He Would you er mind setting
your face against mluo?
Now Tlict Don't Bptnk,
t think that Mrs. Van Buxton Is
Just horrid."
"What now, near?"
"Why. I told her I hud been taking
. . i H
up cnijiel ana was woru uui.
What did she any?"
Why, the mean thing said sho had
often reinotkcd that I looked thread-
A llreniii of llll".
"So you aro looking forward to a
good time this summer?"
"Yes. sir," answered Mr. Uuturot.
"Going out of town?"
"No, Km going to send mother nnd
the girls out of town. Then I'm go.
tug to sit In my shlrlsleoves, sinnks
my plpo In the parlor and hire a
street piano to play all tho ragtime I
want." Washington Hlnr,
Proof I'oeltlve.
Ethyl Mnyiuo Is evidently begin
ning to feet her age.
Edyth Why do you think so?
Ethyl Sho siiys hereafter sho Is go
ing to wrlto her naino "Mary."
No One ltl.e.
Optimist What are you kicking
about your luck for? You havo only
yourself to blame.
Pessimist I know It. and that's Just
what I'm kicking about Philadelphia
Usual War.
A girl may favor unions, but
In time there comes an hour
When she's apt to be hard pressed
lly a sliigli' one-man power.
Didn't Know Hint.
Mrs. Goodley Wo dlno en famllie
this (veiling. Won't you Join us?
Mrs. Nurltrh Well er really, I
don't know Mr. Fiuulllo nnd I don't
like to meet strangers. Philadelphia.
Oulle Die Oppoalte.
McJIgger Hero's n rather clever lit
tle bouk "Don'ta for Cluhmeiv"
Thlugunihub-llnhl It Isn't tho
don'ts that worry clubmen; It's tho
dues. Philadelphia Press.
"Tho place they put stray dogs Is
called a 'pound,' Isn't It?"
"I wonder why?"
"Probably because a pound Of that
sort of precaution Is worth any quan
tity of hydrophobia euro." Philadel
phia Public Ledger.
Funny Man.
Wife Hero's tha clockmaker coma
to tlx our clock. Go upstairs and get
It for hi m, won't you?
Husband (lazily) It Isn't upstairs.
lo It?
Wife-Certainly. Wbera did you
think It was?
Husband I thought It had run
down. Philadelphia Press.
A Hhocklutr Dream.
Ho Do you know, I Just had a nap
at Mrs. Novrau-lUcbe's musicals and
n terrible drenm.
'What did you dream?"
'That I went again."
Houiewhut Dltrerent.
Askltt What's Rymcr's business?
Knowltt Why, he's a magtztno
Askltt Yes, I know that; but what
does liu do for a living.
"I guess Mr. Olden doosn't feel as
young ns ho did sovctal months ago,"
remarked tho observant man.
"Why do you think so?"
"Ho used to Joko with that under
taker who lives near him, but hu
doesn't do It any more." Philadelphia
At the Flahermuu'e Ilanqnet.
"Did you havo a Jolly time?''
"Jolly? Say, my wife took tho prize
for tho blggost tlsh, nnd I got lha prlzo
for tho biggest yarn." Cincinnati
Commercial Tribune,
Heroic Treatment.
Mrs. Ebony Doctuh, my husbnn' ha
got tho porulorsla In the lulgs, so ha
en n't move his feot
Doctor Dark Is dat so, Mrs. Eb
ony? Well, I'll cnll right away,
Mrs. Ebony Yes, doctuh, an' twi
suah to lining yotili banjo crlong. If
dut doau' start his lalgs goln', nuthlii'
"Come on; lie's Go,"
Whllo tho Spanish-American War
was on several volunteer troops were
enmped lu tho vicinity ot Knoxvllle,
Upon a visit to that city of tho lata
Governor Bushnoll of Ohio a grand
military review was held lu his honor,
the several brigades Including two ne
gro regiments, also stationed there,
taking part
Among tho many spoctators crowd
ing tho sldowalks was a typical Ten
ucssco farmer accompanied by his bux
om wlfo. Hu thoroughly enjoyed tha
brilliant spectacln of marching troops
until suddenly tho negro regiments
carao Into view.
Then tho old farmer, In great dis
gust, hastily grasped his wife's arm
nud said: "Como, on, Maria; let's go;
tliero como the niggers.'
A llttlo street gamin, black as tar,
was standing near. Hearing tho farm
ers' slighting remark, his eyes grew
largo nnd luminous with Indignation as
ho retorted: "Yas, dat's Jos' what dom
Spaniels say, when dey seed do nig
gers comln' up da hill at Santiago;
'Coma on; la's go.' "