Tubingen Is tho latest ot the Ger man universities to open Its door to women. W. K. Vanderbllt Is to build an In ride tennis court In bis winter homo at Oakdale, Mass., to cost about ?90, 000. The following sign Is displayed In n book shop In Chambers street. New York! "Dickens works here all this week for $1.60." Of 3,701 vessels which passed through tho Sue canal last year, 2, 278 carried the British nag. The total receipts of the canal were 4,120,000. Tho valleys of the Payette and Boll lUvcrs, In Southern Idaho, are soon to bo the scene of n stupendous Irriga tion work by tho government The project Is to reclaim 372,000 acres of land. The Inhabitants of malarious regions In India can now purchase qululna it practically cost price. It Is put up In small packages by the government and sold at the rate of 1 cent for ten grains. The Japanese cuisine does not In clude butchers' meat, bread, butter and potatoes. Hlce Is not, as com monly supposed, the dally food of the poor, but can be afforded by the well-to-do only. The gamoy flavor of meat Is gained by the bacteria feeding upon It These develop within an hour after food Is exposed on pantry shelves, and long before the flavor Is appreciable to tho senses the bacteria that produce them are abundant Largo Investigations are now being made looking forward to the better ment of the present facilities and re sources of the reclamation projects In the Northwest, and it is thought tho near future will sea rapid progress along these lines. The annual report of the New Jer sey State Geologist shows that during 1003 there were S5.0IU acres of forest destroyed by Are, which is 13.S04 acres less than in 1002. The damage, how ever, aggregated more than In 1P02 by (137,421, or an increase of 82 per cent Statistics are quoted showing that while in India the average occurrence of leprosy Is three or four cases per 10,000 of population, in the island of Mlnlcoy, In the Indian ocean, whose inhabitants are devoted to fishing, it Uses to 100, and at Kallgoan, a fish, curing center, It amounts to 600. Har per's Weekly. In forty-two clubs, more than 1,300 boys of the East Side of New York have been gathered to form the Ju venile City League. Each club repre sents a city block, and each boy pledges himself to abstain from litter ing the streets, while he also promises to persuade others to do as well. The World's Work. The De Beers Company produces 03 per cent of the diamond output of t,. rM it nan an annual dividend of CO per cent on its "common" stock, in the last year and a half It has raised the price of these necessities of life only Ave times, from 30 to 35 per cent In all. American imports of diamonds have greatly decreased in consequence. Everybody's Magazine. For a winter climate Colorado Springs has a reputntiou second to no locality ifl the United States. During the winter of 10O3-'O4 hundreds of rob Ins, bluebirds, Spanish sparrows, ori oles and turtle doves made their homes In that vicinity, and there was no weather during the whole season so se Tere as to harm them. There were 817 clear days in the year. Bricks are now being made of clean sand and ground quicklime that are cald to bo as substantial as granite. They cost $2.60 a thousand. The mixed Ingredients are forced into a strong steel cylinder mold by means of a crew. After tho air has been sucked from the cylinder, hot water Is admit ted, the rock being formed by the re sulting pressure and heat Country tlfe In America. During the years 1002 and 1003 thera was an almost complete failure of lha French sardine catch. This year, how ever, the Indications point to a fine catch and the packers and exporters nra hopeful for the first time since 1001. It now seems certain that tho absence of sardines last year and the year before was due solely to the cold and boisterous spring. Consular He port from Nantes. In 1805 Durham was a village of a dozen houses. When the soldiers plun dered the place they got a quantity of smoking tobacco. They liked it so well that they hardly got home before they began to write to Durham to get more. There were in tho town men of enough enterprise to see the opportunity which this situation offered them. It was not long before Durham salesmen were selling Durham tobacco in every part of the world. The World's Work. METHODS OF "SLEEPING CURE" Treatment Now lu Hitch Favor Abroad for Nervous Cases. As long ago as 1883 Dr. J. Leonard Corning of New York brought forward this plan of managing functional ner vous disorders In a monograph entitled "Brain Ilest, a Disquisition on the Curative Properties of Prolonged aiMn" mid In a auhsrnuent edition. published In 1835, the whole matter of practical management was emtio rated to the last detail, Bays the Med ical llecord. Dr. Corning observes that "as applied to the brain, rest Implies something totally different from that which Is described by the term when used In connection with the muscle, Joint or spinal cord. This radical dlf ( rhieflv owing to the fact ...I iirnln being the organ of the Intellectual processes, rest, In so far as It concerns tnat organ, meuu uuimug ess than a cessation of mentallzatlou, with all thereby implied. It is ImpoBsl bit by a more flat of tho will to cause cessation of thought; tho very Idea em bodies a contradiction, for the will ns physiologically understood Is Itself a product of very complicated intollec tipn, and cannot therefore, be regard ed as a tain ml gonerla something without the pale ot other psychical pro cesses." Only during sleep Is the ideal rrpose of the cerebral faculties real ized. ,But, while n physiological amount of sleep is sufficient to achieve this In health, the period of uncon scious repose must be greatly augment ed when by overtaxation of Inordlualo mental strain tho nervo cell has be come devitalized and Is no longer able to hoard up n sufficient store of energy during the usual period of unconscious ness. It Is iu such cases that prolong ed sleep, a sleep continued for ten. fif teen or even twenty hours at a time, achieves the most striking results. 'As a rule." observes Dr. Corning, "I am In the habit of sochidlug the subject In a darkened room, eventually for from ten to fifteen hours at n time, according to the amount of sleep It Is desired should be had during the twenty-four hours. I do not, however, at tempt great things In the way of sleep at first; but, on the contrary, the dura tion of the period of unconsciousness is progressively Increased by the util ization of habit, hydrotherapy, appro priate food, and, In urgent cases, mod erate medication." in tho extreme cases the period of sleep Is prolonged to as much as twenty hours at a time, the patient being awakened and given small quantities of nourishment and then allowed to sleep again. Ho warns, moreover, against the evils accruing from attempts to keep In bed nervous Irritable persons while In a conscious condition. Such Individuals should be told to lie down only on the appearance of drowsiness, which, In Intractable cases, may be brought on by the mod erate use of sedatives, during the lattcH part of the day, and exceptionally by the exhibition of hypnotics before re tiring. Recumbency, then. Is purely in cidental, the prolonged unconsciousness Is all. In thus strenuously Insisting on the radical difference between cere bral and ordinary corporeal rest Dr. Corning has rendered a substantial and practical service. DECLINE OF COURTESY. A "Toast" Which Steam More Now than When First OtTen. That familiar toast, "Here's to wom anonce our superior, now our equal," Is much more than a clever bit of ban quet fooling. It was a Jest when first spoken; It Is taken as fact now. We have socn In recent years a steady diminution of the deference to woman which In the past century was a part of every boy's education. Even the bow, once a genuflection of real com pllment has deteriorated Into a fash ionable shrug; the kiss Is unmentlon able except as a microbe exhibit, and as for surrendering comforts from a sense ot duty, here Is the very latest authority from the very latest book of etiquette: "The old custom of a man giving bis seat In a street car to a woman is being gradually done away with. This is due largely to the fact that women are now so extensively en gaged In commercial business that they are constant riders at busy hours, and thus come Into direct competition with the men." And we find this delicious passage In the further elaboration of the rules: "A woman should not look with a pained and Injured air at the man passengers because no one of them has offered her a seat" Really, It comes as a balm to the soul to be told that "A man should never cross his legs or keep his feet extended In the passageway." Custom rules and It does little good to sigh for the good old days. Still, we shall cling to the be lief that good manners cannot go who! ly out of fashion, that deference to woman is excellent not only for the woman but for the man, and that the gentleman who is guided by the better promptings of bls.nature and the high er teachings ot his youth will get more abiding satisfaction out of life than by ignoring woman simply because she dares to try the only way of becoming Independent by making ber own liv ing. Saturday Evening Post Did Ills Best In the absence of tho regular so ciety reporter the dramatic critic of the Dally Chronicler was detailed to "write up" a wedding. "I'll do the best I can," he said, "but I feel sure I shall make a botch of It" This is what he turned In omitting the pre liminary remarks about the size of the audience and the delay In begin ning the performance: Mr. Burnside, In the rola of the bridegroom, acted the part In a stiff yet listless manner. He has a good stage presence, but mars the effect by a total lack of animation and an al most Inaudible voice. Miss Jones, as the bride, was much more effective. Her costume was be wildering, yet true to life. If one may venture to criticise, ber effort to over come ber obvious stage fright was a trifle too evident She was in good voice, however, and her enunciation was clear and distinct It must be confessed that both Miss Jones and Mr. Burnside were deficient In their lines, and bad to be prompted almost constantly by the Itev. Jabez Simpson, who, as the officiating cler gyman, was decidedly the star of the performance. Pure Angora. Goats. Tho breeder of pure Angora goats must give close attention to his flocks the year around. A doe will often leave a new-born kid to Join ber flock as soon as It gets out of her sight, nor will she return to her kid unless the flock happens to feed thut way. Nat urally many kids are lost, and others would die If tbey were not taken care of. A few head of well-bred goats may bo found profitable on any farm, especially on a farm where brush kill ing Is an Improvement, as no other will destroy shrubs so quickly. A Future for Illln. Mrs. Skemcr WIIIIo'b teacher soys Willie never gets his arithmetic sums right at all. Mr. Skemer Mebbe It'll be all for the best He may turn out to bo an expert short-change artist. Philadel phia Press. Plume Producer. Archer it is well that Kve was cre ated.. Harker Why so J Archer Well, the ostrich would not have had any commercial value If she had not been. A miserly man Is ono who refuses to lend you a few dollars. Opinions of The Ministry. a F tho 20.000 men and women who graduated I 1 from our universities and colleges last month I & V I only 1.500 aspire to preach the gospel. As B N.I . - I I-.-. I .... .... nnl,tnt. It, the United States this contribution Is Insuffi cient to keep up the supply. Here and there are men and women who have never had a col lege or theological training who are discharging tho duties of the pulpit, but they are few compared to those w ho have had these advantages, so that virtually plrants Is a correct measure of the extent of the minis terial ambition. The principal reasons why tha number of candidates for the clergy Is growing less relatively year by year are that congregations are getting more exacting, that the pay Is small and the occupation tho least attractive of tho pro fessions. This Is the selfish point of view. Thou, tho con scientious student who may be religiously Inclined and who sees great opportunities for doing good in the calling, some times Is deterred because he cannot satisfy his conscience of the truth of some of tho doctrines of er than preach something which he cauuot believe lu he turns his talents to another calling. Another hindrance Is that the religious unrest, so palpa ble lu the world. Is much more pronounced lu the higher halls of learning. Here agnosticism, materialism, indlffcr entlsm, are at work sapping the early religious training and turning the mind In Its formative stage against the pulpit. Much harm Is wrought here by the scoffer and the unbeliever who are never so happy as when reviling Christianity and everything pertaining to its mlsslonal advancement The world was never so generous In Its support of Christian churches and charities as It Is to-day and no where else Is this extended with the generosity of that of the I'uited States. Yet tho disposition to preach Is not keeping abreast of tills sentiment. If it were, the candi dates for the priesthood this year would number 4,000 or 6,000 Instead of 1,500. Utlca Globe. Tho Profit of Good Roads. OW that the country Is measurably well sup Nlpllcd with railroads which haul the farmer's products to market at an average rate of a half Is y.n, tnn nr mil It hpirln to he of nrlme Importance that the average cost of hauling from the farm to the railway stitlon, which Is about twenty-five cents per ton per mile. should be reduced. The Department of Agriculture claims that this cost could be reduced two-thirds by the simple substitution of good macadamized roads for the ordinary dirt highways now In use. Pennsylvania's new road law, which divides the cost of making permanent roads between tha State, couuty and township, was Inspired by a desire to begin tho solution of this problem In a way that would prove least burden some to the farmers themselves. So far, however, Its pro visions have not been taken advantage of as widely as was anticipated. It seems worth while to call attention to the fact that practically similar laws are tion, with excellent results, in New York. New Jersey. Massachusetts, California and elsewhere. In the State llkp New Jersey, where the law has been In operation longest, the benefits are marked. It Is tha first step that costs, however. In road-making as In everything else. When a few experimental sections of really good highways have been provided as object les sons. It is to be hoped that Pennsylvania farmers will fall in line with those of other States, where permanent road laws have been longer In force. Philadelphia Bulletin. Our Illiterate Citizens. HERE Is food for thought In t'nlted States census report 1 I cation. Thus we learn that In 1000 there were A I o qo,i Wl men nf !i jtp nf '1 or nrr whn were unable to read or write. This great army of illiterates constituted 11 per cent of the voting strength of the nation an electorate In itself sufficiently strong, If suitably distributed, to de termine national principles and policies. Of the total 077.000 were negroes a percentage wulrn wuen conipareu S L WOODS INDIANS. J The Woods Indians, as Stewart Ed ward White calls the OJlbways and Woods Crees north of Lake Superior, are distinctly nomadic. They search out new trapping grounds and new fisheries, they pay visits, and seem even to enjoy travel for the sake of exploration. This life, says the author of "The Forest" inevitably develops and foslers an expertness of woodcraft almost beyond belief. Another phase of this almost perfect correspondence to environment Is the readiness with which an Indian will meet on emergency. We are accus tomed to rely first of all on the skilled labor of some one we can hire; second, if wo undertake the Job ourselves, on tho tools mado for us by skilled labor; and third, on tho shops to supply us with the materials wo need. Hardly once In n lifetime are we thrown en tirely on our own resources. Then wa bunglingly Improvise a makeshift The Woods Indian possesses his knife and bis light ax. Ho never Im provises makeshifts. No matter what the exigency or how complicated the demand, bis experience answers with accuracy. Utensils and tools he knows exactly where to find. His Job is neat and workmanlike, whether It is the construction of a bark receptacle, water-tight or not; the making of a pair of snow shoes, the repairing of a badly smashed canoe, the building of a shel ter, or the fashioning of a paddle. About noon one day Tawablnlsay broke bis ax-helve square off. This to us would have been a serious affair. Probably if left to ourselves, we should have stuck In some sort of a rough handle made of a straight sapling, which would have answered well enough until wa could have bought an other. By tho time we had cooked dinner that Indian had fashioned an other helve. Wo compared It with a manufactured helve. It was as well shaped, as smooth, as nicely balanced. In fact, as we laid tho now and tha old side by side, wo could not have selected, from any evidence of the workmanship, which bad been made by machine and which by hand. Tawablnlsay then burned out the wood from the ax, retempered tha steel, set the new helve, and wedged It neatly with lronwood wedges. Tho whole affair, Including the cutting of the timber, consumed perhaps half an hour, 141 Great Papers on Important Subjects. years before shows up to the manifest disadvantage of the dominant race. Thus In I.N70 the excoss of Illiterate negroes over Illiterate whites was 00.000. while now, thirty years later, the latter outnumber tho formor by 277,000. Nor can we Justly retort that theso Illiterate whites are. aliens dumped upon our shores through the agency of Im migration. Of tho total number of whlto Illiterates only !W5.0i)0 are foreign born, while the native horn' number USS.000, or an excess of 113.000. Nor Is tills the worst of It. The report shows tint the percentage of Illiterates among the native horn sons of American parents Is nearly three times as great as among tho native born sons of foreign parents. Evidently our foreign bom citizens have a higher appreciation of the advantages of education than many of the uumuer or as Christianity. Soon already In opera N T the figures of the dealing with edn- and 1,254.000 whites, wun mar or tnirty To travel wjth a Woods Indian Is a constant source of delight on this ac count The Indian rarely needs to hunt for tho materials ho requires. He knows exactly where they grow, and be turns as directly to them us a clerk would turn to his shelves. No prob lem of the living of physical life Is too obscure to have escaped his varied ex perience. You may travel with Indians for years, and learn every summer something new nnd delightful about how to take care of yourself. COSSACK8 ARE A BUGABOO. Facte the Japaneao Learned Before Opening Iloatllitlea. The care taken by the Japanese to make sure that tbey were right before going ahead Is shown by the fact that, previous to the war with Russia, they took tho greatest pains to uncertain the actual value as a lighting force of the much vauuted Cossack cavalry, says the army and navy register. The conclusion was, to uso the language of tho Japanese official from whom wo obtain this information, that they were "a mere bugaboo." It was found that the custom of the Russian gov ernment was to furnish each Cossack lu Manchuria with a fixed sum for the purchase of a horse. One-half of this sum be put Into his pocket and pur chased the best horse bo could with the remainder. Tho money given for the purchase of fodder was treated In the sanio way and the Jiorso left to pick up a living as best ha could. The result was shown In a serious deterioration In the efficiency of the Cossacks. Similar dishonesty wus prevalent In the other departments of Russian army administration, an Illus tration of which Is found In the story of the Itusslun officers found guilty of selling powder to the Chinese and putting sand In its place. The Japanose even assert that tho number of troops under the command of ICouropatkln was misrepresented, so that money might be made by draw ing supplies for fictitious warriors, To make full allowanco for contingencies the Japanese estimated tbo number of Russians they would encounter on tho Yalu as 40,000 In all and sent 00,000 troops ugalnst them. It was found In the end that tha Russians had only 20,000 men to oppose the crossing of the river. Brooklyn Eagle. If you go around oxploltlng a fool belief, peoplo will notice It and talk about It People who have fool bellofs are not accorded as much charity is formerly. i the native stock. At no time In our history has the percontago of Illit erates been as great as today. During tha past sixty years tho percentage ot this clots of citizens has Increased from 0.15 to 11.00, desplto our free school system and the earnest efforts to popularize education. The Stats having tho largest number of Illiterates Is Georgia, as might be expected, with Its great negro population and Its largo number of struggling whites. Pennsylvania Is next, having 130.0S2 Illiterates, as compared with 158.217 for Georgia. The percentage of Illiterates among the native born voters of New Mexico Is 25. Utlca Globe. Tho Disappearance of tho Mtilo Teacher. O one will deny that many of tha best school teachers In the country are women. There nrc parts of tho delicate and highly Important task of training tho young which can bivst be done by tactful and geutle womeu. Hut It Is also the serious opinion of experts that grow ing boys should very largely be under the care of men. There is n certain inspiration of manly leader ship which a boy grUly needs, nud which he can only get from a manly man. Tho Influence of a thoroughly robust school teacher upon his clnsi of boys cannot be calculated. Ho puts before them constantly a model of manliness, and high honor, and attractive Industry, and clean courage, which leaves its stump upon their forming minds through all the rest of their lives. The generation of Iwys which must always go to school to women, and to no one else, will lose something very valuable out of their Behool-day training. They may get ns much arithmetic and grammar and history and the rest of It from tho women as from the men. but they can no more get the quality of manliness from women than they can get the quality of refinement from men. Our schools should be "manned" with men ns well as women, and If we have permitted tho financial attractions of the profession to fall so far behind the Increasing attractions of competitive callings as to allow all tho young men to be drawn away from tills profession, we have boen guilty of n serious betrayal of trust to the generation which Is now growing up. Our fathers did not so misuse us. Montreal Star. Wireless Telegraphy in War. HE question of tho value of wireless telegra phy In war has already been considered. Now It is supplemented by that of Its legality. The Russian (iovcrum'ent has practically served no tice til lit it regards It as Illegal. At any rate, the list of such a device at the seat of war will lie treated as a breach of neutrality. Corre spondents telegraphing without wires will be shot as spies, aud vessels equipped with wireless telegraphic apparatus venturing near tho scono of war will. If caught, be con fiscated as contraband of war. So far us correspondents accompanying tho Russian army aro concerned, we may unhesitatingly concede tho Russian tho right of censorship. That Is n matter of course. A belligerent power lias the undoubted right to decide whether It will permit corre spondents to accompany its army at nil and If It docs let theni do so It can. of course, preserlbo what matter they may send through the linos, and how. Similarly. It may exercise a censorship over news vessels entering Its terri torial waters, or the waters Implicated In the sphere of belligerent action. But a gcuerul outlawing of wireless telegraphy In that part of the world would ba a much more extreme matter New York Tribune. ALMOST IMPATIENT. 1 When n Mississippi River steamboat has passed Cairo, bound down, there Is no opportunity to obtain deck-hands till Memphis Is reached. Consequent ly tho colored roustabouts linvo things all their own way In thut short spaco. On n recent trip tbo passengers enmo on deck at Hlckinnn, ICy., to find the steamer lying Idle, nnd tho crow re posing peacefully on Jioxcs and bales on deck, and on the sloping bank. "What's tho mutter)" somo one aslt ed tho captain. "Niggers struck for two hours' rest," ho replied, patiently. After many vexatious delays tho ves scl reached Canitliersvlllo, Mo., and there It lay In Idleness the next morn ing when tho pnssengers camo out. "What's wrong?" again asked one passenger. "Niggers struck for bread-rolls for breakfast. Say they're tired of hard' tack," said the officer, still without vexation. A third morning tho awakening puB scngers found their vessel again moor ed by tho riverside, this time at Bar field, Ark. On the bank were tho roust' nbputs, holding a noisy meeting, "Strlko again?" asked a passenger. "No, seh," replied tho captain, "but there's going to be. The niggers are up on 'the bunk, tryln' to decldu what they'll strlko for next. I'm right cross at 'em, though, aud ef they don't agreo pretty soon I'm going to cut und leavo 'em, nnd deliver my freight on tho way back." Buinci Amusement Kohomix. The railway companies of tho coun try arc engaged In nil kinds of umuso ment schemes, with the Idea of attract' lug patronage, nnd the lutest Innova tion of this character has taken place In Cleveland, whero the manager of a street railway company has organized a baseball league. Each of the towns along the Una has n nine, und a reg. ulur schedule bus been arranged. The rallwuy company has supplied tho unt forms and offered other substantial as slstauca besides undertaking to carry tho players free to nnd from the games. Tho company, however, does not par ticipate In the profits of the team, but is repaid merely hy mo increased busi ness resulting from tho games. Sometimes this happens: A man who has been sensible all his Ufa lets a fool muke a fool out ot him, OUli, BUDGET OF FUN. HUMOROUS 8AYINQ3 AND DO INQ8 HEnE AND THERE. Jokea and Jokeleli tluit Are Hummied to lluve llccu Recently Ilnrii-Hujlims and llolnue Hull Are Old, Curious aud I.uuulmhlc-Tho Week's Humor. l.ndy Shopper Would you recom mend this changeable silk? Clerk Decidedly, initdam; It Is tho most appropriate kind of dress for this sort of weather. Detroit Kroo Press. The Crunk, Still, the crunk's no hideous thing You'll see on slight retlfclloii, The crunk can do u world of good If turned the right direction. New Orleans Times-Democrat Her Catch. "if you don't stop talking," caution il the husband. "I'll not bo nblu to cntch any llsh." "That'll funny," answered the wife, When n girl nnglcs for n husband she has to talk n grout deal." I know, lint there's n difference between tlsh mid lobsters." The Culture. Alphonse Do you know how to write a check? (iiislim -Yes. I can write It all right: nit the trouble Is with the cashier he won't cash it. Detroit l'rco Press. OF COURSE DABIE8 CAN Line ur Infants up and practice until what has hitherto been mere noise becomes pleasing harmony. Takluu No Chuiicre. 'You should send your offspring to college," said nne of those peoplo wni will always udvlse. "ou (Ion t wn'il to ! ashamed ot your chlldreu, do you?" "No, by heck!" draw lea I no oiu farmer In red-topped boots. "An i don't want to send them to college nn' have them come back an' bo ashamed of me. either." I.tlcrnrjr Hucrcae. Ernie Beatrice wrote a novel and t wus netimlly published. Eva Gracious! And did sho get ,ny royally? Ernie Yes, Indeed. She mad-' enough out of the sales to buy herself a foreign nobleman. Where Hhe Woulil lie Itlslit In Line. Mr Jester Shnll wo go to tho moun tains this summer? Mrs. Jester I haven't anything to wear. Mr. Jester Then we'll go to the sea shore. lucoimWtetit. billionaire Is a. That curious per- "iu what wny?" "He'll glvo hundreds of thousand? of dollars io establish universities, but It makes him cross to sea tha tax col lector coming nround for his share of support for tho public schools." Washington Star. liiceptlon. Gunner They wiy If you get a di vorce you will never have any luck, Guycr I know ono man that had luck. Gunney Indeodl Who Is he? Guyer A divorce attorney. Hiilllcent Reason. Wife How happy that woman who lives on tho corner nbovo us appears to be. I liuvo never mado her ac quaintance. Husband You havo furnished the explanation. Detroit Kreo Press. A. Olher. Hee lis. "Do you think this photograph does mo Justice?" asked Miss Klderlctgh, "I should sny not," replied Mist Youugbiid. "Why, It makes you np pear ten years younger than you really are." Coiitruillcted, Shurpo Wodwoud suys tho baby Is tbo light of Ills life. Whealton Light? Why, ho told mo when he hud to hold him ten minutes ho felt llko lend, Chicago News, Wlllluir Victim. Sho When I set my faco against anything I mean It He Would you er mind setting your face against mluo? Now Tlict Don't Bptnk, t think that Mrs. Van Buxton Is Just horrid." "What now, near?" "Why. I told her I hud been taking . . i H up cnijiel ana was woru uui. What did she any?" Why, the mean thing said sho had often reinotkcd that I looked thread- bare." A llreniii of llll". "So you aro looking forward to a good time this summer?" "Yes. sir," answered Mr. Uuturot. "Going out of town?" "No, Km going to send mother nnd the girls out of town. Then I'm go. tug to sit In my shlrlsleoves, sinnks my plpo In the parlor and hire a street piano to play all tho ragtime I want." Washington Hlnr, Proof I'oeltlve. Ethyl Mnyiuo Is evidently begin ning to feet her age. Edyth Why do you think so? Ethyl Sho siiys hereafter sho Is go ing to wrlto her naino "Mary." No One ltl.e. Optimist What are you kicking about your luck for? You havo only yourself to blame. Pessimist I know It. and that's Just what I'm kicking about Philadelphia Press. Usual War. A girl may favor unions, but In time there comes an hour When she's apt to be hard pressed lly a sliigli' one-man power. Didn't Know Hint. Mrs. Goodley Wo dlno en famllie this (veiling. Won't you Join us? Mrs. Nurltrh Well er really, I don't know Mr. Fiuulllo nnd I don't like to meet strangers. Philadelphia. Ledger. Oulle Die Oppoalte. McJIgger Hero's n rather clever lit tle bouk "Don'ta for Cluhmeiv" Thlugunihub-llnhl It Isn't tho don'ts that worry clubmen; It's tho dues. Philadelphia Press. BE MADE TO CRY IN TUNE. Ksplalned. "Tho place they put stray dogs Is called a 'pound,' Isn't It?" "Yes." "I wonder why?" "Probably because a pound Of that sort of precaution Is worth any quan tity of hydrophobia euro." Philadel phia Public Ledger. Funny Man. Wife Hero's tha clockmaker coma to tlx our clock. Go upstairs and get It for hi m, won't you? Husband (lazily) It Isn't upstairs. lo It? Wife-Certainly. Wbera did you think It was? Husband I thought It had run down. Philadelphia Press. A Hhocklutr Dream. Ho Do you know, I Just had a nap at Mrs. Novrau-lUcbe's musicals and n terrible drenm. 'What did you dream?" 'That I went again." Houiewhut Dltrerent. Askltt What's Rymcr's business? Knowltt Why, he's a magtztno poet Askltt Yes, I know that; but what does liu do for a living. Ominous. "I guess Mr. Olden doosn't feel as young ns ho did sovctal months ago," remarked tho observant man. "Why do you think so?" "Ho used to Joko with that under taker who lives near him, but hu doesn't do It any more." Philadelphia Ledger. At the Flahermuu'e Ilanqnet. "Did you havo a Jolly time?'' "Jolly? Say, my wife took tho prize for tho blggost tlsh, nnd I got lha prlzo for tho biggest yarn." Cincinnati Commercial Tribune, Heroic Treatment. Mrs. Ebony Doctuh, my husbnn' ha got tho porulorsla In the lulgs, so ha en n't move his feot Doctor Dark Is dat so, Mrs. Eb ony? Well, I'll cnll right away, Mrs. Ebony Yes, doctuh, an' twi suah to lining yotili banjo crlong. If dut doau' start his lalgs goln', nuthlii' will. "Come on; lie's Go," Whllo tho Spanish-American War was on several volunteer troops were enmped lu tho vicinity ot Knoxvllle, Tenn. Upon a visit to that city of tho lata Governor Bushnoll of Ohio a grand military review was held lu his honor, the several brigades Including two ne gro regiments, also stationed there, taking part Among tho many spoctators crowd ing tho sldowalks was a typical Ten ucssco farmer accompanied by his bux om wlfo. Hu thoroughly enjoyed tha brilliant spectacln of marching troops until suddenly tho negro regiments carao Into view. Then tho old farmer, In great dis gust, hastily grasped his wife's arm nud said: "Como, on, Maria; let's go; tliero como the niggers.' A llttlo street gamin, black as tar, was standing near. Hearing tho farm ers' slighting remark, his eyes grew largo nnd luminous with Indignation as ho retorted: "Yas, dat's Jos' what dom Spaniels say, when dey seed do nig gers comln' up da hill at Santiago; 'Coma on; la's go.' "