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About Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907 | View Entire Issue (March 11, 1904)
I TOPICS OF THE TIMES. A CHOICE SELECTION OF INTER- E8TINQ ITEM8. Comments and CrltUlsms Based Upon tli Happenings of the lajr Histori cal mad News Notes. Tlio truth that lilU In ttio truth we hato. Tho high II vera do not roach tho heights of life Iridium, you may have observed, Is now guaranteed to Jo nil those things tbnt liquid nlr wns goln'g to do n few yean ago. Mme. Nordlcn doesn't get nr.y nil mony, hut her case Isn't so hnd. She won't havo to support tho gentleman any more. It appears that when n society worn nn writes n mngaxlne article sho fur nishes a paragraph or two nnd the editor does tho rest. Possibly tho reason so many men make fortunes on a thousand or two a year Is because they do not let the left hand know what the right hand Is doing. The Hon. Bourke Cochran, who says tho United States Is the hoodlum of tho world," has no objections to being on of the hoodlum's hired bands at (B,000 a year. The outcomo of this war Is going to be disagreeable either way. Every body hopes nutsla will bo whipped, but If Japan wins how will It be pos sible hereafter to hold the Japplcs? When It becomes established that radium will cure cancer it will then appear that about tho only disease In tho treatment of which medical science has mado no progress since the Pharaohs Is baldness. A Chicago man wants a divorce be cause his wlfo insists on moving more than six times a year. Evidently that gentleman thinks thero may bo such a thing as running the breaklng-homo-lles business Into the ground. Sympathy for 'Whltnkcr Wright ts Bow being aroused In England. Wright's great mlstako was In not committing his sins over here, whero bo might, Instead of taking poison, have taken advantage of a technical ity of some kind. "The king can do no wrong' oven In ah automobile. The act of parlla bent requiring the registration and numbering of motor cars and the reg ulation of their speed does not apply o King Edward, nor does his majesty need a driving license. Of the Immigrants landing In the ,TJnlted States during the fiscal year. 611,302 had less than ?30, and 185,007 could neither read nor write. It Is no sin to be poor, but It seems wicked Vhat there are so many adults In the jworld who havo nover been to school. Something wrong somewhere. According to the doctrine of chances, a boy who has no middle name Is more than twice as likely to become Presl hni nt tho TTnttod States as one who Ins a middle name; and the boy who has more than three names has no chance at all. Of the twenty-five men who have filled the office of President, Seventeen had two names each for Van Buren is ono name, unu noi Since 1SS0 no triple-named President kn. Loan niiwtori pxoent Mr. Cleveland, who gained a chance by dropping his first name. Lieutenant General Young, the retir ing chief of staff of the army, sent a package to General Chaffee, his suc cessor, with this note: 'Private Young, Company K, Twelfth Pennsylvania Volunteer Infantry, presents his com pliments to Private Chaffee, Troop K, Sixth United States Cavalry, nnd asks him to accept this pair of lieutenant general's shoulder straps." There never was a more significant Illustration of tho opportunities enjoyed by young men In this country than Is given by this note to tho new chief of staff from his predecessor. It Is a remarkable fact, when proper ly viewed, that a parent cunnot be queath his own experience to his child. A parent can give his child tho ex ample of right living, advice nnd money, but be cannot give his personal experience. Suppose I could bequeath my experience to my boy? An(1 mi' boy to his boy? And so on. In a few generations we should have n perfected humanity. Why this plan of redeem ing the race did not recommend Itself to divine wisdom wo cannot say. As a matter of fact, every person must become a pupil In the school of experi ence. The old adage says, "Experience Is a dear teacher, but fools will learn In no other," That Is not true. Expe rience Is a dear school In which ail men, wise and foolish, must learn. But Ono must distinguish between experience nnd wisdom. Wisdom Is knowledge In action. Wisdom Is ap plied experience. Jinny persons learn a lesson by experience and then fall to profit by It Many persons suffer and then fall to get strength out of tho suffering. This Is true: Tho highest good will never come to you until you are prepared to receive It. The best gifts of life will never be yours until the way has been cleared for them by the applied lessons of experience Fear of the tomato, which arose from the fact that It was a cousin to bonbano, belladonna and tho deadly nightshade. Is rapidly disappearing. Ten years ago a hundred and II vo mil lion cans were put up In this country. Last year tho output of the canners In the United States and Cuuadu was two hundred and forty-two million cans, of which Maryland produced more than tho total output of 1803. Indiana, West Virginia, Delawaro, California and New Jersoy, In that order, follow Ma ryland na tho chief tomato States. To matoes are not tho only fruit that erowa In cans which appeals to tho cultivated American tasto. Clroon corn Is about half ns popular as tomatoes. Illinois Is tho chlof corn-canning State, 1 jrlth a record of nbout twenty-live mil-1 Hon cans. Iowa comes next, nnd New York third. It looks from theso fig ures as If tho vogetablc-ralscrs nmend the alleged practice of tho fruit-growers In tho West can all they can and cat all they can. But It Is not vegeta bles and fruit alone that arc preserved In tin. No ono need cat fresh food un less he prefers It, for tho market con tains canned roast bcof.canned tongue, canned chicken, canned veal loaf, can ned soups, canned pork nnd beans, canned beans, canned beets, canned pens and canned almost everything except canned digestion, and that Is put up In glass bottles at the druggists, ready to be taken along with the things In tin. A club lady In Chicago, In a meet ing of matrons to discuss the great Is sues of life, when asked how to man ago a husband so ns to secure domestic tranquility, promptly answered "reed the brute plenty of good, well-cooked food," and the club ladles nil made a noto of It, and It Is believed the ex periment Is now on extensive trial In tho windy city. This recipe for do mestic happiness suggests n menagerie view of married life, and may furnish a reason for the tendency to board rather than keep house, that Is so strong upon many married people. In this view It Is complimentary to tho sense of Justice of the brute, For what dyspepsia he gets at a boarding house table ho does not blame bis wife, but the landlady. She cares nothing for tho growling of the animals at feeding time, provided they don't dlo In tho houso and will be burled from the undertaker's melancholy parlors. This now plan for peace foreshadows also the permanent disarming of tho domestic forces, since young ladies about to assume the ta,k of marrying one of the brutes will bo Impelled to acquire a knowledge of the mysteries of cooking In order to live happy ever after. When this art Is generally at tained the boarding-house landladies will be overtaken by tack of trade and will be punished for their many trans gressions. So a beautiful vista opens In front of the American home aud tho dove In likely to build her nest In the stomach of that brute, the Ameri can husband. Brazilians are great coffee drinkers. Numerous cups are drunk each day by the average man and woman. The bov erage Is made very strong and very sweet It produces an exhilaration of an Intense and lasting kind. Those ad dicted to this habit become very rest less, and scarcely able to sit still or stand still, even for a moment Flat bills denote fly-catching birds kingfishers, heron, etc. The meadow lark that Is much on the ground has strong, stout legs, and the oriole, which Is more In the air, has slender legs The stiffened tall Is not confined to woodpeckers and chimney swifts, hut the bobolink that clings to the long grass has also stiffened tall feathers to help support the bird upright On the loftiest mountain In Ger many, the Zugspltzc, In the Bavarian Alps, 0,725 feet above sea level, is an Important meteorological observatory, which is occupied all the year round, but In winter Is cut off from communi cation with the lower earth because of storms that destroy the telegraph and telephone lines. Recently a wireless telegraph Installation has been madu at the observatory, connecting it with the postoffice at Elbsee in the valley, three miles away. The observer In his lofty perch Is thus made Independent of the storms, for the wind has no ef fec upon the ethereal waves that carry bis messages. The Idea that the waves of light pro duce a mechanical push, or pressure, was advanced years ago by Clerk Max well, but he could only offer a theoreti cal proof. Uccently Prof. Lebedew, of Moscow, has made an experimental demonstration of the "pressure of light." He employs a radiometer re sembling the familiar Crookes radiom eters with their revolving vanes, but uses a larger and more completely ex hausted bulb, from which the beating effect that Is the principal agent In moving the Crookes vanes is excluded. When the light falls upon the vanes they are driven beforo It, and the In tensity of tho pressure thus revealed comes within ten per cent of that calcu lated by Maxwell. The effect Is Inde pendent of the color of tho light and directly proportional to Its energy. Breakfast in Japan. Breakfasts In Japan differ very ma terially from the same functions In England. In the former country they are eaten at sunrise and they aro light and dainty breakfast In England be ing very frequently quite the reverse. The Japanese' meal commences with a small fruit, a persimmon usually. Then Kamaboko Is served, which Is whlto fish pounded with a stone mash er, then rolled Into little balls and baked brown In radish oil, though butter could bo substituted. The Inev itable tea completes this simple meal. Luncheon, or mid-day meal, begins with soup. Cburvau Is a thin soup strained, nnd then boiled again with mushrooms. It Is served In Ilttlo bowls, without handles, no larger than cups. Shlruko Is a delicious kind of rice cake partaken of at luncheon. Tho rico is first boiled to a paste, then cut into thin cakes, nnd fried In oil. A saueo made of red beans Is poured over It Weather Signs, sirs. StrOnsiloy John, mother Is coming to spend a week with us. Mr. Strongloy Thunder and light ning! Mrs. Strongley No, Just reign. Butto Inter-Mnuntaln. Give Them a Trial. Any recipe should bo tried beforo being accorded a place on one's list. Some of them do not suit our palates, while others, with some little variation of proportions, may bo mado to do so. The Czar's Soepter, The Itusslun state scepter la of solid gold, three foot long, and contains among Its ornaments, 208 diamonds, 300 rubles aud 15 emeralds. ej4iejiefiieeejsje v Opinions of Tho Hired Man. T Is Important that the hired man on the farm should be sociable and "chipper." That lesson protrudes from nearly every page of the Inter eating government bulletin on "Wages of Knrtn Ijibor In the United States." The relations of the hired nun and his employer are per 18 sonal aud sentimental, and gree found In few other occupations. If the farm hand has a Itkely tongue and a cheerful manner, the employer may do any number of things for him that will not figure In the contract lie will let him cut firewood from the wood lot, raise as many hens and pigs as he chooses on the farmer's land, graze a cow or two, have a horse and buggy whenever he wants to drive luto the village, and If he Is married, occupy a house and garden patch, rent free. It pays to be agreeable on the farm. And It pays every farmer to have as diversified crops as possible, particularly If be Is hiring help. The one-crop farmer, be his product corn or cotton, crowds Into about four months all the work of the year. If he uses his acres at other seasons for dairying or lumbering, he could profitably employ a good part of his own surplus tlmo and energy and those of his sons If be has any, or of his hired man if he has engaged one. As tho government bul letin Intimates, the season of Idleness on the farm, when there Is none or little employment of labor, as contrasted to steady employment In a factory, constitutes "the great est diniculty In procuring help for the farm." The hired man's wnges are highest in the States where the farms aro well wooded, lowest In the treeless prairie States. The farmers of the country earn a pretty penny every year over $100.000.000 from the product of their wood lots: the annual value of sawlogs cut for the lumber business ex pressly Is only WO.00',000 more than the farmer receives as a side Issue from his winter's work with the nx nnd saw. New York Mall and Express. Why forests Aro Useful. ET us take two hillsides of JU exposure, one being forested, tne other cleared. The rain falls on the canopy of trees In the ... nnJ .1... .Af,tH ... I .... -.. A n :eewfil iu9itui.c auu uiiy, Dvtuj ltaJTl branches and trickles down soil beneath Is soft and loose (even lu winter It does not freeze hard), a composition of disinte grated rock, decaying leaves and twigs and even logs, and all tied together by a dense mass of roots and rootlets. The rain comes upon this forest soil so softly through the trees that the ground is not compacted and hardened or gullied as it would be if the rain fell directly on the soil. The loose and spongy earth takes up tho water as fast is it falls, aud that which Is not seized by the roots for the nourishment of the trees Is carried away Into underground basins, from which It slowly percolates and eventually comes out upon the surface again as springs. So slowly does this filtering go on. the spongy soil holding the water back, that the springs are given a constant and almost steady supply. Een drought will actually dry up but few such. Snows also melt more slowly In by preventing disastrous spring freshets. In the other case, that of the treeless slope, the rain falls directly on the bare ground and pounds It bard and Impervious. The water for the most part runs off super ficially as from a roof. Not enough water sinks Into the ground to help feed constant springs. of a bard rain on a bare hillside Is moreover conducive to gullying and washing of a most destructive nature, and the waters being poured Immediately Into the stream beds cause freshets. The freshet waters quickly rush by, wreak ing havoc with fields, bridges, mills and the next week the streams are nearly run dry. Boston Economic Independence. T Is probable that $100 per estimate of the value of the food annually con sumed by the people of the United States. In other words, the grocery and provision bill of this country approximates $3,000,000,000 a year. The Impossibility of ascertaining with accuracy the money value of these sources of table sup ply In which no commercial transaction Is Involved the farmer's kitchen garden; the fish and the game of those who eat what they catch and shoot; and THE LAZIEST PEOPLE, Koreans Slake Their Women Ifeast of Ilurden-Beonl m 1'IIthj- City Broadly speaking, It Is hardly an ex aggeration to say that the Koreans are the laziest people on earth. All day long they lay about the streets smoking their gigantic pipes (a natlvo pipe Is a six-foot length of bamboo with a metal bowl, and Is carried tucked Into the neckband and down the trouser leg). All work, of very nearly every kind, Is done by the wo men, who occupy, perhaps, the most degraded position held by the sex of any nation. The unfortunate female population Is collectively a beast of burden, and denied even the moat ele mentary recognition as human beings. A Korean girl has no name; sho is merely known as "Daughter of " During the first moon of each new year tho Cho-senese throw off their inordinate laziness and allow their naturally quarrelsome proclivities full play. This Is the period permitted by law when anyone nnd everyone may fight In the public streets, or any where they choose, with Impunity. And full advantage of the license Is taken! Now nro family disputes, which hate been seething for a whole twelvemonth, settled lu the most prim ltlvo fashion, and often half the town Is drawn Into the brawl. The creditor, catching his debtor abroad, muy thump and pound htm to his heart's content, nnd no one may Interfere. For fourteuen days a veritable pande monium reigns, and as a method of "clearing the air" It Is certainly not without Interest for tho spectator. Seoul, the capital, on the Hong-Kang river, Is an untidy, lli-bullt city, sur rounded by twenty-foot walls. The curfew system, common to feudal England, still provalls as In most Korean towns, A great bell Is rung at sunset, and the gates are Immediately closed, not to be reopened until tho following sunrise. No lights may then he carried In the streets, and no ono may go out of the city, with one rather startling exception. All funer als, by Immemorial custom, take place only at night, and for thla purpose thero Is a special exit called "The Gate of the Dead." Between the hours of sunset and dawn, no male Is allowed to bo abroad In the streets; theso hours nro sacred to the women, and constitute their only privilege, Tboy usually employ the time In paying vis its. Up to n few years ago, any mas culine philander found out after dark was beheaded, but since tho Eu Great Papers on Important Subjects. and pork killed aud Some tden of democratic to a de Identical slope and iiviy ita i in auu the trunks. The the forest, there The eurfaco run-off 5 A T railroad I States, - I !7MO,1 Transcript proportion, It will mean that whole regiments of our citi zens will be exterminated by trains In th course of this year, and tbnt Is-entirely too many. Our authorities are always lenient toward the poplo who are primarily re sponsible for these slaughters, because presidents, super intendents and directors are not personally cognizant of defects which caused the slaughters; but If w were to acquire a habit of holding the officers of railroads to an account, they In turn would exact more faithful and ade quate service of their employes, and there would be a les sening In the number of accidents as a result Brooklyn Eagle. - capita Is a moderate the beef, mutton ropeans have Introduced their own customs, the entire system Is In danger of revolution. Seoul Is one of the filthiest and worst-kept towns to bo found In all tho east. The Idea of drulnngo has not yet entered the official mind, and that pestilence has not made there Its abiding home Is proof of a benefi cent Providence. During the writer's sojourn some yenrs ago, It was not nu unusual occurrence for tho agile leopard (Korea's most common "wild fowl"), to scale ono of the walls, nnd entering tho nearest house, carry on" a child In tho durknon. To-day, however, they have changed nil that; but Seoul's greatest need, from n western point of view, is still n de cent hotel. The native dwelling house Is an Impossibility to nil but n salamander. The flooring, In most cases, Is composed of neatly-Jointed flat stones, over which mats arc laid. Underneath is n hollow spare, In which firewood is laid lu bundles and lighted. The paper doors nro then slid into their grooves, excluding all air, and soon you find, yourself In n Turkish bath. Tho average new comer only tries It once. 8TORY OF A FUGITIVE HAT. It lielonged to a 1'i.rtlr Man Who Want Home Ilurehcailed, A stiff breeze from the west was blowing across an open square when a man of portly form and dignified de meanor turned the corner of an adjoin ing street. He was a notable mun In his every movement He was erect and his rotund figure had a military poise, an air of dignity which was Im posing, Suddenly a wild gust seized his shin ing bat an whirled It off. It shot up Into the air and described circles in the manner of M. Santos-Dumont's airship. Then It flew across the street and fell Into a puddle of muddy water. Tho dignified citizen gazed at tho flight of his hat In a bewildered fash lou, When It fell to the ground be cantered gently after It As he neared It be bent eagerly forward. Ills hand almost touched the precious tile, when swoop came another gust and snatched the unfortunate hat, which went roll ing off, churning the muddy waterx of the gutter like tho screw of a steam er. Tho owner of the hat looked wrath fully after It and then started In pur suit on a mad gallop. Swiftly along tho square rollad tho hat. Suddenly, In tho midst of his swift course, the pursuer stepped on a piece of oraugo oaten by those who raise the animals --leaves any statement of Uio cost of feeding the nation a matter rather of estimate than of known amount. our absolute economic Independence, so far as food products are concerned, Is obtalued by a reali sation of tho fact that about 1)7.5 per cent of the $3,000, 000.000 grocery and provision bill Is supplied from domes tic sources. If the remaining 2.5 per cent obtained by Importation, bo analysed, It Is seen that a half iloien Items, such as coffee, tea, cocoa, sugar, spices and tropical fruits, represent more than three-quarters of tho foreign supply. The Importation of articles which might be or even could be raited In this country Is probably less than one-halt of one per cent of the total value of our annual food consumption. Not only does our actual domestic supply of alimentary ubatauces exceed Hi Its percentage that of any other nation or people rightly claiming to be civilised, but there Is the further fact that lu point of variety our menu Is almost unlimited. The question of cookery Is a side Issue depend ing on individual taste Hut the fact remains that we have the food In limitless quantity aud lull til to variety, ths product of American farms, gardens, fields, orchards, forests, rivers, lakes aud oceans. In addition to this generous supply of our domestic needs, we sold to other countries, last year, about $000, 000,000 worth of surplus crop. It may be remarked that wo also have a few acres of land not yet under cultivation. New York Sun. Your Sharo of tho Public Debt. Y"',oru father cau remember when a 7 per cent government bond served as a sort of Interest standard. Of course. It was a gilt-edged tscurl- ty, but 7 per cent for money was considered AtjYM about the proper figure. That was not very tsSSifiSa long ago. It was lu a day when the public debt of the nation, measured by the resources of th people, was a heavy burden. Now we have 2 per cent bonds. In fact mors than half of our bonds are 2 per cent securities. In the fae of a thousand alluring Invest ments. Including farm mortgages and municipal bond, the government can have all the money it wants at 2 per cent. Your share of the Interest on the public debt Is 84 cents annually. Yoar share of the Intsrett-bearlng debt Is til. We plied up millions of liabilities during the Spanish war, and yet the total of the public debt is less than the capital of th Steel Corporation; less than ths total amount of llf Insurance credited to at least two concerns. The Interest-bearing debt on Dec. 81. 1008, was $001,747,220. Eleven dollars per bead. In Great Britain the debt la 175 per capita, and In Holland It Is $00. Franc has a national dobt so great that each Inhabitant owes I ISO. The ray of sunlight ther Is th fact that France has borrowed from the people, and there Is no danger of foreign creditors fore closing a mortgage on that country. Argentina owes $128 per capita, aud Australasia $208. We talk much of our natural resources, our loyal people and our new navy. Don't forget that one of our greatest Items of strength In foreign lands is our financial stand ing. The nation with unlimited credit with a big treasure chest, ts In a position to command and direct and Influ ence. Financially, the United States has no competitors. St. Louis Chronicle. Too Many Railroad Accidents. ITHIN a month 1M neonl hnv ion VI1U.1 )n accidents In the Eastern and Middle and more wer Injured. It may be ar- thflt till la hunllv mica Iknn .nnat amount of destruction In so large a populace as ours, but there Is no normal rat of vio lent death. If accidents continue In the same peel, grasped wildly nt the air and fell with a despairing splash. Shorn of all his dignity, the unhappy man slowly rose, looked around to sec If he wns observed, then carefully ex amined his Injured raiment From collar to waist his frock coat hnd split Twenty yards nhend, peacefully re posing upon the curbstone, lay the In nocent cnuse of all his misfortunes. With nn nlr of grim determination lie strode toward It. The lint remained coyly resting on the edge of u puddle. The portly person gazed down at tho water-logged, mud-covered tlio and then at his own ruined raiment .lust then, as if Inspired by n demon of mlsi'hlef, the hat began to away with u panning gust. This was too intieli. (lathering himself togethor, the fnt man mado n mighty leap and landed both feet squarely on tho hat. Hu peered anxiously nroutid to see If ho was observed, nnd then, turning up his rout collar, strodo away, louring the frgmutits of what had once been n silk hat reposing In the gutter. Jilt Itoaeon for ltcumlnlng. A solicitor relates a ludicrous Inci dent in which he himself played a prominent pnrt. He was Interested In a man who hud been accused by his employer of stealing a pair of trousers, and, thinking the fellow had been wronged by the nrrest nnd charge, stood up for him In court and mado a clever defense. The maglstrnte dis charged tho prisoner, who, however, remained lu the dock for somo mo ments, keeping his gazo fixed on tho prosecutor. After n tlmo tho lawyer sold kindly, "My dear man, you have lost enough (lino from your work. Now that you aro cleared of the charge why do you not hurry home?" "Well," wns the reply, "to tell you tho truth, I've got tho blessed thingu majigs on, and I'm afraid to leave tho box In case the boss recognizes 'em!" Chinese Aro Honrs!. Honesty Is a prevailing virtue among most Chinamen, Some of thorn In their native, towns nnd cities often leave their places of business unguard ed while they go off for half nn hour or more. Thawing out an Oil l'lpo Lino. An eight-Inch oil plpo lino from tho Dnkcrstlold region to San Francisco has to bo heated ut Intcrruls so that tho oil will How. Men not only muku their wives write nil the klu lotters, but of late they make them answer the telephone. LANGUAGE OF ANIMALS. Puma of tli I.nwar Creatures Able tn Imitate PoiutiU. Tho crlos of nuluiuU nro n species of natural lit-iguugo, according lo n writer lu Forest nnd Strcnin. Tho older grammarians, 1 remember, taught us that crying, weeping, laughing, etc., were examples of natural language; llpy vtero exprcsslvit of feeling natural to men nnd were understood by nil Intuitively. The origin of spoken or artificial language,. tin It ,ls culled, Is a large subject nnd I do not propose to enter upon It; but I presume that nil forms of natural language, Includ ing the cries of beasts nnd birds, nro, ns tho term Implies, natural to lliem, that ts, born with tlietn; aud tho spe cific cry of any species must bo de termined by somo peculiarities of tho vocal organs In that species. For ex ample, n crow crunks and n rooster crows, because by the peculiar structure of their vocal nrrnngcinents, they can utter those sounds more read ily than any other. Yet, by training nnd effort, somo of tho lower creation become nblo to Imitate nnd reproduce other sounds than those most natural to them, Just ns the first natural out cries of the Infant give way through culture to the myriad utterances of artificial language. Tho bawling of n cow and tho roar of a lion nro quite different sounds nnd, ns things stand now, the sound uttered by oun of these uulmals would bo quite Impossible to tho other; yet, as I read Darwin, either of these out cries might lu time come to 1k tho natural cry of tho other. If the two species of animals could b brought to llo peacefully together nnd to tho Hon It should become apparent that tho voice of the cow would bo of great wiluo to him, say lu tho matter of securing his food, there Is no rruson to doubt tbnt he might In tho course of time, from effort transmitted from generation to generation, como nt length to possess the dulcet notes of tho cow. If tho giraffe, which wns orglunlly only a large antelope, has developed Ids high forequarterH, his elongated neck aud his long, flexible upper Hp, from his efforts to browso on tho higher brunches of tho trees, and If the flounder, which when young has Its eyes on tlio opposite- sides of Its tirnil, as any well-regulated fish would tw ex pecti-d to have. Is able through long continued effort to transfer tho eyo that rests disagreeably on the sands round to the other side of Its head, whero It may bo of somo service, thero Is no telling what varieties or modltl rations of voice or shnpo may bo wrought In nature In the course of tho. ages. Hut let us hare no meandering. A kitten cries out, Iiecnusn In common with nearly all anlmnls. It la furnished with a certain vocal apparatus, and Its cry takes tho peculiarity of a mew. bceauso that sound beat responds to Its special vocal apparatus. Hence, aud especially In view of tho Ilttlo In cident which I have related. I am led to believe that the young of any ani mal utters the Mine cry as Its mother and not from Imitation. I think n young rooster crows and n young hen cackles, not lu Imitation of their elders, hut, llko tho poet who "lisped In num bers," becauso "the numlx'rs came." Imagine If Itohlnson Crusoe had landed on his solitary Island with n good, fresh-latd hen's egg In his pocket, aud he had put It to hatch under his pet parrot, the rooster. If such had como forth, would hava crowed out lustily of a summer morning, and nover would havo learned to say "Poor Poll!" In tho world. CONVERTIBLE TABLE DESK. Article of furniture Kmlirsclna: Ail vintixt of Tnn 1'lecca. An Ingenious piece of furniture Is that Just patented by an Indiana man which comprises a dek and table. As la shown in tho picture, the transforma tion from ono to the other Is easily and quickly accomplished through the unique arrangement of tho several pnrts. As n table a smooth rectangular sur face Is presented which may lie used for any of those purposes to which the drawing-room table la usually put. Hows of drawers, dainty lockers aud shelves line the sides of tho affair. Con verted Into a desk, tho user has tho ndvnntngo of a smooth writing surface, pigeonholes for tho writing material and paraphernalia and nn ample upper ledge or shelf for such use us ha may desire, Taken all In all, tills Is ono of tho most complete nnd handy contriv ances of tho kind that has been granted patent rights recently. IloBUOiisflold'a "Don'le. An Inquiring nnd nnplrlng person ouco asked Bcaconufleld to tell him tho secret of social bucccbs. "Never dis cuss the authorship of tho Letters of Junius," was tho reply. Beiiconsfield'B lutest biographer Wil frid Moyncll, adds something positive to this witty negatlvo rulo for getting on In tho world. A distinguished mem ber pf Parliament bogged tho Vlctorlnn statesman to tell his young son some thing to remember; somothlng tbnt would help to make him an agreeable and popular Incmbcr of socloty. Ilcaconsfleld hedged, "Model your self ufter your father," ho said to the lad. This was not entirely satisfactory, and tho M. P. Insisted upon a definite rulo of conduct. "Well, my hoy," suld Ilcaconsfleld, "bo amusing, Never tell unkind stories. Abovo all, never tell long ones." TUB TAIILE-PEBK. America's message to n certain South American Itcpuhllc: "Willi Co lombia!" Punch. "lie got tho slngo fright." "Mol HowV" "Married the homeliest girl lu the company,"--Town ToplcH, "Your symptoms, madam, Indicate JnuiidUo." "Jaundice.? Hut, doclor, I haven't n suitable, dress for tlmt!" Fllegeudo Blatter. "What's lu herd" nsked tho tour ist "Itemitlns to bo seen," responded tho guide, ns ho led tho wny Into the morgue. r Columhlu Jester, A Dollar Earned: Judge (sarcastic ally) Did you ever earn n dollar In jour life? Vagrant--Oh, yes; I voted for jour honor ouco! Puck. Dolly Hwlft- lie railed mo Ida dear Ilttlo lamb. Sully (lay -What theiiT Holly Hwlft -Oh, then ho gulhcied mo Into tho fold. -Miuiirt Set Tourist- Homo peeoplo from tho East might not llko It out hero. West erner -Well, stranger, they'd find trains ruunlii' both wnys. --Ex. "Whnr you reckon do happy Inn' 1st" "It's 'way luick ynnder, nt do place )ou passed so long ago. en didn't know you wuz nt It!" Atlanta Constitution. Adoring llrldo- Jack, darling, Is this Wednesday or Thursday? Doling (liiHim 1 think It's Friday, dearest. Adoring llrldo Of this wcoU-l.lfe, Miiuiii - Hobby, have you been light ing? Hohby -Only a little bit. Mama How did Hint happen? Hobby--Oh, the hoy. I licked wasn't much of a lighter.- Chicago News. "(Iruee, can you tell me whnl Is meant by a cubic yard?" "I don't know exactly, but I guess It's a yard that the Cuban children piny lu." Boston Christian Advocate. Experience: Mrs. Frleiiderly Hut, honestly, what was your real reason for refusing her dinner Invitation? Mrs. Chnrplor Experience. I used to have her cook. -Ilrooklyu Life. Elsie-There's n man at tlio door, pa, who says he wants to "ro the boso of the house." Father Tell your mother. Mother (calling down stairs) Tell Bridget -Philadelphia Press. A Critical Nummary: "What do yon think of that writer's work?" "Oh," answered Miss ('nyeum, "he has said two or three clever things, nnd several thousand others." Washington Htnr. Wife You don't mean to tell mo that Professor Addle has been struck dumb? II unlia ml Yes, last night Aud muster of seven languages. Wife.- Is It possible that ho wns struck dumb In all seven? Jarrold What did that diamond cost that you gave Dolly for Christ mas? Harold Well. I gave $10 for tho stone, and $10 to the clerk lo tell Dolly It cost $200 If sho brought It back to price III "lteally," said Mrs. Oldcastlc, "your Ilttlo dinner Inst night wns quite re cherche." "Oh, dear," her hostess groaned, "1 Just knew that new cook would make n botch of It some nay." Chicago Itecord Herald. Utile A mil (who has nn Inquiring mind) Uncle Tllurod, what's a bonan za? Farmer Neckwhlskeis (painfully experienced) A bonanza, duril It, Is a hole lu tho ground, owned by a llnrl That's what a lioiianra Is! Ex. Ernie I saw you nutumohlllng with Fred yesterday. You looked as though your heart was In j-otir mouth. Ida- No wonder. The automobile was going sixty mile an hour and Fred was pro IHisIng at tho same time. Chicago News. Unendurable: "Deuh bo)'. Is It truo that you have discharged jour valet?" "Ya lta, the doosld scoundrel wns loo fresh I When I took hlui out with mu he managed to make people think ho was the mnslah ami I wns the mnii, haw Jovcl" Chicago Tribune. Pcrdlta It doesn't matter If this Is tho third Installment of the slory. Tho synopsis Is printed telling how the first chapters went; so you can start reading It from hern. Penelope Yesj hut how stupid of them not to havo tho synopsis tell how It ends! -Judge. "Did you havo n pleusimt voyage?" "No," sighed tho beautiful American heiress. "It was oun of the saddest experiences of my life. There were two counts aud a duko aboard, hut tho weather was so lough that they nover came out of their rooms." Chi cago Itecord-Horuld, Hcporter How were you Impressed by tho European cities you visited? Distinguished Traveler They are mar vels of cleanliness, sir. To return to ono of our cities after being abroad Is llko coining back to n ling-pen. lie porter Mny 1 ask what hog-pen did you stnrt from? Chicago Tribune. How Is It business has so much Im proved 111 tho side show?" asked tlio man from the mnln tent "I stinted tho 'living skeleton' lo smoking cigar ettes," replied tho hustling mnniigcr. I don't hco why that should draw people." "Yes; every mother takes her boy lu nnd points nut tho horrible, ex- ample." Philadelphia Itecord. Giving evidence of chiirnctcr for n man charged nt North l.nmluii, a wit ness declared that ho was eccentric. Mr. Fordham Con you glvo an In Blanco of IiIh eccentricity V Tho Wit nessWell, yes, I can; during the four teen years I havo known hlui ho has never been n minute luto In gelling to his work. Mr. Fordham And you cull that being eccentric? Tho Witness--Yes, certainly, for n woililiigmun, . Exchange. Curious Afreet r f.ltir. A curious effect of light N scon In tho fnct tbnt fish which live In d"e i waters, whero the light cniiiiol peie trato, aro usually dull lu color, uh Ic those living In shallow witter, lo wh.ch tho sunlight bus free access, aro brlglil of hue. Muun tlio Huiiic, Industry nnd prosperity nro sin differently, but they menu nhoi. same thing. But for the need of horrible plos many a man's uscfuiu.iss uover be properly listed,