The Contrabandist;
One Life's
I'llAI'Tim v.
A week rifii-r hla arrival at Hi" ftintf nil.
Lllllla atund, nun Illuming, nil I he lerrili'O
Willi lain fnlr rmialii, llitin .Miiiiliiiiliim,
itlnl evidently in-iii rc-,1 fur n el roll In
search of iiiuiiscinciii, Judging rroiu llm
irmi mnl akctch lunik lir curried.
"Awnjf mi enrly, Unla?" naked Made
llinlaclhi .Monlntihaii.
"ISicn hi., Helen. nni gulug til spend
mi hour In couierao wit li I (nine Nature,
wlium t Imvn so miilly neglected allien I
crnni' lien-, (lint I senrccly dnro luuk her
III tlu fncc. An liuiir, mnl perhaps two;
III priiiirtlnu tu Din variety of tlm enter
Inliiniiiit which I HimI."
"Then, lr Hint la tlm ran'," returned
Helen, In her culm, silver tonea-'if Hint
la tint cnae, ui ulinll hiiiilly ace vim nunlii
HII liliilit fnll. Vuii will llml no link of
fllllUaciiicnt. ii n run li iii v declare mursclf.
If you Iiiivii nut forgotten your former
viaus miner; lliungli they lime Im-cii fiiw
I Hough, I coiifeaa."
"O, I know there la nn iiclghliiirlmoil
liinro beautiful Hiiiii tlila In Hn country,"
responded l.uuli. "Ilut ii a fur xt-ltilttiK
my wniiilciinga to thu borders of tliu
iilgjit, Hint mini. I not l.u iinlii. to my
rmii'y. I ahull Iw tuuk lu ro before nuuii
llde." "'I'll fi t la well. A tut irny, Louis," sho
added, wllll lluprcaallilii I'limeatllcaa
"pray tin mil go tun ilivp lulu tlm fon at.
llvini'iiilivr jriiiir niUrniurc there not aev-
dnys since,"
I.lulill) liu touched hla llpa tu her fnlr
hand, unit, t it r 1 1 1 it kr. ti-i--iitil the aloplug
imtli llint wound Irri'Kiilnrly down thu
height.
A alight hlnah rose til Iiit licntlllftll
cheek, na Iht glnlicu fiillimcil. fur 1111 In
alnnl'a spare, tlm hniulaoiiie llictirt ut tint
Juuug iMiuiiti mnl It deepened when lie
looked hack, mnl seeing her atlll atnud
lint there, waved hla linml In Iiit. llnat
lly alio li'fl tliu aiut, mnl rc-clilcrlug tli
4 tin ten il. acnlcd herself In tlm aiiluon liy
n window, ut her embroidery. Ilt-ri. put
tlilit tin drnpcry ualde, ahe colli. I uliai rru
tint receding llguro of Iiit coiiiln while
luiraulug, with aluw uiul thoughtful tin
iirra, Iiit fntnrllu iiiipln) mi-lit, until
liilla lam) dlanpprarml frum alght. nuil
there wna no uulwnril attraction to break
the roae-hucil thread of inedltntlun Hint
wine itself In iiml out mining tint cluatcr
Ink' I'llila mnl leuicn etpHiiillug Into life
liinler Iiit magic tuiuh. The iunriiila win
III the llhrnry among hla hooka, loat to
Hip exterior world, nml wrupl In learned
lore. Helen linn? no couipnnluii ante her
own nieilltiillunii lint they wero tultlcleut
entertainment fur unit like her.
I.oiila eonilnnitl to follow the mnln road
lenillinc from Hie rhiitcnn (mat the vll
lake, mnl onward to where It reached the
foreal, branching off Into two illatlnet
paths, one of which wouinl on through
tlm foreat. nml the other aklrteil It to the
left. Ilia uiortiliig'a work wna lieforit
lillil. Turnlni: hla ntleiilluii to Hie lienu
tlea of the iiilet aeenery iiIm.iii him, Imla
jinuaeil now nml then nlnnj: the iuih, to
nilil mime ehnrmllitf aketrh to the cotloc
tlun of Hue ilruwliik'a In hla hook, rcmelil
IktIiik hla ronaln'a ievullnr tnale, nml ae-It-Ctllltr
allrh luilula na lm knew woiilil heat
lilenae her. Ami wn,uiliTluK alowly atlll,
he en mo nl Inat wltllu alclil ot thu llltlu
ilwi'lllni: of hla pretty frleinl lloae.
I hen l.uula tlioiiitht of tlm wlali which
lie hail ciprcaaril to her. The cottneu
wna at n illatmieit jet; he wlahitl to Knln nhouhl meet you nunln, for your Intcrfcr
a more illatlnet view of It. I'crhnpa ho. ence In my Mmlf tlm other ilny."
ahoulil illacorer Itoae herself aented nt the
lour, ami hla accne already laid nut fur
him.
He hnateued furwnrd. The turn In tlm
pnth wna soon rencheil, mnl the hnir-hld-ilrli
rntlnge wna In full alght now; mid
yea, there ant Ituae nt Hie dour, working
with her ucctlle. He paused u moment
tu I'ontcmplnlf the scene. Thla llltlu
t'littuge, or fnriii house, so rude nml plain
III exterior, yet illacuvcred to hi in thruiigli
Hint open doorwny, where the morning
atlll shone In ao softly, uue of the pretlleat
plctmea in the world. Hose wna looking
Mi lowly Hint I.oula hnateued to coin
Inclire Ida sketch, let n nearer view
wna incited; nml, silently na piiaalhlc, be
unveil forward, an na tn trnce her fen
turea distinctly, nml nt the same time to
avoid disturbing her. llupldly. and with
n grace nml vividness of touch Hint did
Justice to lis present aiiblect, Louis work
ed. It was tho loveliest picture he hud
attempted Hint ilny, mid he enjojeil It.
Not ninny minutes was ho lu itiuipletltig
It, ami then lm advunced with a iiilet
ten up the pntnwny lo I lie iluor.
Hut Hose LhiiiiiiiIii wna na Inlay with
her thoiighta ua with her needle, nml she
did hot hear the npproiirhlug footstep. It
wna not until tho shadow of the young
man's form fell ncrnaa the alll Hint alio
wna nrouaed from her reverie. Shu looked
up then, mid at art e.l with mime slight sur
prise on beholding the count. Immedi
ately recovering herself, however, alio
welcomed him with a ainllo mid hastened
to offer lilm a sent.
Ho acrcpted it, nml ant down near her.
lie had met Itoso but twlco before; yet it
was In such circumstances Hint tho uwk
warduens mid constraint of llrst nctiualnf
mice wna lu n measure unknown to them,
mid It was the easiest thing lu tho world
to fall Into conversation now. lie almost
forgot Hint their ncUiilntuuco was of so
recent n date, Indeed.
"Whoro la your father, Hose, thla morn
ing?" bv naked, ut llrst. "1 hoped to sco
him."
"I nm sorry ho Is not here, monsieur,"
returned tho young girl, "Ilut be went
to thu forest, something moro .than mi
hour ago, to gather roots for me, and I
ilo not know how soon be will coino back,
I oppose that monsieur lo marquis and
Mndemosello Helen are well to-day?"
"Quito well, Hose, Vou havo not been
tip to tho chateau since last week, I
think?"
"No, I do not think I havo stayed
away rrom them for so many days to
gether In all tho years slnco wo caino
here. It seems n strmigo thing to In
quire after them," snld Hose, looking up,
"My uncle and Helen wero mentioning
It ycHtcrdny," rejoined Louis. "They In
tend Bending for you to-morrow."
"O, I will not trouble them so far ns
to do Hint," responded tho young girl.
"I do not need nny ono to como for mo
now, becauso I can colno nlono qulto as
well. Will you bo so good as to toll
Mndemolsello Helen Hint I will como to
morrow?" "I will do so eertnlnly," answered
Louis. "Hut where, then, l that Iron.
blcKomo cousin of yours? Has ho gono
away?" ,
"Yes, monsieur,, I bopo wo shall never
see him again," alio snld, with a alight
shudder of nvcrslon, "My father spoko
very sharply to him, and sent him to n
plaro n great way from hero. I do not
ltnow what plnco It wnsi my fathor did
not tell mo. Hut ho says (lusparde shall
never como back until bo learns to bo less
insolent," ,
"Wbut a relief that Is, Hose-Is It not J
A
TRUE
STORY
OF
THE
SOUTH
OF
FRANCE
Secret
144.1,1.1.1. ,
anlil l.uula, with n alillle. "Hut Ihla null'
Jeel la not n lilenamit one la It? Hut"
ioae I try to hnnlah from your memory,
for the prcaciit, tint luuiiti' of tlila wlckcil
mini, nml wu will t nl k of aomeHiiUK rnth
er plenamiter. Tell urn who nml what
Ihla la, my little frleinl."
He la ii I npcncil hla purtfnllo nml now,
il a tut apuke, pnaaeil tu her tint tkrtcli
whli h lm hinl taken fifteen mluutea pru
luualy.
Him luokeil nt It, nml n lirlicht ainllo
aholle In her lintel eyea,
"Mnualciir," aim anlil, "It la my own lit
He huine. Ilnw fiilthfully yrni hnvo
aketeheil Itl There la the mliinnnetln on
tlm alll; nml my pretty rut, naleep liy tint
lion, In tint nunaliliie: mnl one eilue of
Hut liouk-cnae, which you inn aee within,
nml which hnnita rloatt heahlit tlm win
ilnw. Vuii timat, then, have ilrnwu Ihla
before I auw you licfurv I henril you
C'umllitf iuat now."
"Vea -exiii lly; hefore ynu anw nut. Hut
llieri) la aoiuethlUK, Itoae, which you
accui to cnnaliler of teaa eoliaeiiueucii thiill
your cut inn! tlm mlKiiuuelte, aluce you ilu
not mention It. I wuihIit If you hnvn
oliaerveil It. Who la It Hint alia by thu
ilour Bowluit? My coualn Helen
"N'n, moiialeiir; It la ilut your coualn.
You ilhl not menu It fur Mnitemolacllu
Mnutmiliiin. It la, I think, Itoau I.n
iiiulite." "Vou nre rliiht. It la Itoae I.nimmte.
Well, Itoae, I tiHik Ihla without your
knowleiliie, tlierefore, I auppoau I ahoulil
nak your penulaalou to retnln It. Hut I
ilu not nntleipnte n refuanl. I ilo not
know Hint I ahnll heeil It, if one la l'Iti'H."
"In Unit rnae, uioualuiir," returmsl the
youiiK k'lrl, amlllliK nt hla friinkneaa "In
Hint cnae, It woulil lie uaeleaa either to
Itlve or wllhliulil permlaalon. It la youra,
however, hy rlitht, nuuialeiir."
"Then I will keep It. Ami nnw, alnro
the uiurnliiK la nenrly none. 1 tliluk 1 ran
atny no hunter, I ahoulil like to aeo your
fntiicr, Itoae; hut aluce hit doea not come,
I mint wnlt until imolher lime."
Cou.1T I.OUla ON A aKKIClll.to rxcuil
.a ic.
"1 am aure ho woulil like to aeo you."
atihl Itoae. "Ami now I think of It; ho
iiniie mo tiinnk you, la hla name. If I
"I wna Kin. I Hint I hnppeneil to be
near, to rhnatlav the acoumlrel," reapoml
eil Loiila; "mnl I ahnll be well antlafleil
If the leaaon proveil to ho onu of laallni;
aervice.
Ami hlil. link' the youtiK girl mlleu, lin
tur I from tlm auot to retrace hla home-
wnril way,
"Ilnw pretty alio la, how Innocent, how
clilhlllke, lunv clinrtjiliii;!" anl.l I.oul,
mentnlly. "One cannot hut bo nttrncted
tiiwnrila her." Ho wnlkeil uli, lueilitatlng
na lie wem.
"Ami ao Hint rulllnn. (taapnnle. Is
Kline," he anl.l. npilu. "tluoil! It will
be worao for him If he cornea Into tho
nelfliliorhoo.l. nml nttcmpta tn moleat her
nenlu. I'jor llltlu Itoae little foreat
tiloaaum! '
Hinlileiity he hcnnl a merry voice whlat
line aome linht nlr, nt n illatnure. It
nrouaeil him from hla reverie. Looking
up, liu iieneni n iniiii itppruiiclilui; hint,
who wna then, pcrlutpa, fifty ynnla from
him. Tlila mnii, na aoon na l,oula llftcil
hla hen. I. auilileiily.tirukit ulT the lively
nlr with which lie hail I. ecu iimnaliiK him
aelf, nml aeemeil to rcKiinl our hem earn
eatly. Then na aiuhleiily he recnminene
c.l whlatllni:, tlieil hla clnnce In turn nit
on the earth, mnl, with lie.nl Hlij;htl
beiit, nilvnnceil,
"Who can It bo?" thought the cnunt.
"Ilo aeema to recognize me. Ami It
atrikea lint Hint he la eiulenvurlui; to con
cenl hla fenturea."
Ami ancli, truly, nppcareil to be tho
cnae. Vet It wna lin one whom I.ouU re
membered to hnvo aeen In'fore. Thla mnn
win ilreaao.1 III tho gnrb usual to thu pena
nnta or tho country, In atutnro of about
metllum rank, nml proportloiinte alio. HU
fenturea wero pnrtlnlly concenleil, na ho
helil hla heiul itown. Ilut I.onla, mh lie
enmo nenrer, win more curious to beliolil
them than ho woulil hnvo been If tho man
hnil not enilenvoreil, with audi ovIJeiit
atuJIouatieaa, to pnas uiinotlceil.
Aa they approncheil closer to ench oth
er, tlm young count caught a glimpse of
those fenturea. Ho atnrteil, with uu In
voluntary exclamation, ami stopping
hart, lnl.1 his hand on tho inan'fl nriu.
".My friend," ho snld, "yoti will ohllgo
mo by punning ono momcut. I ileslro to
peak with you."
What lr It should bo a mlatnko after
all? Ilut no I Tho man stopped at this
quiet, yet peremptory summons, ceased
whistling, ami taking off hla largo bat,
looked Louis in tho face, saying, respect
fully: "I bco It Is useless, monsieur lo comptc.
You are determined to know me."
"Your own fault your own fault,"
laughed tho count, with an air of good
humor. For, In this person, ho recog
nlieil tho ono who hail nppenrod to him
lu tho forest on tho night of that meinora
blo attack, to warn ami arm him against
tho npproiichlug danger of tho way. The
face, well marked by tho assistance of tho
lightning then, had been carefully mucin-
tiereu since,
"Ilut how la It that you know mo bo
well, monsieur?" asked the man. "I
scarcely Imagined that you-would,"
lou must bo sensible, my good
friend," returned tho count, "that neither
tho place, porsong nor occasion wero
thoso llnblo to be easily forgotten, A
man seldom meets such n ilorcn times lu
tho courso of his life. Did I not toll you
that I should remember you?
"Just so, monsieur. Still "
"Ilut I do not often forget faces, espe
cially thoso met with In times of danger.
Yours I kept for tho romombranco of past
deeds, and tho score ot a futura reckon-
lug. Ilut yiti speak as though yon bid
wished Ino tu forget It,"
"I was nut oviT'dealrous Hint you
should remember it," nliawered thu mnn.
"And why nut? Vou uro not aorry fur
helping me, I trust?"
"Nu, monsieur; nor unable or unwilling
ill her, fur Hint uintler, In help you ngnlti,
If you ahoulil need help. Ami, my fnlthl
but I mil nfrniil you will need nld moat
solely, if things, prosper na they have be
gun," ho in I. led, lu a lower and hnlf-liiu
lug tone,
" Wlin t do ynu menu?" queried the
count, nut n little puttied.
"Wliut do I menu, monsieur? Why,
thu fact la, It would bo haul to tell, How
do I know what la In happen'"
"What wna Hint muttering for, then?
Whnt la your name? Tell mo that. It
cannot harm you,"
"It Is Jacques Irotu, tnonslslir."
".Incqnes lerotix! well, I ahnll remem
ber now. Hut come, alt down on this
bank by tho mailable n moment. I wish
to (nlk with you."
"Very well, monsieur. Only I warn
you, you must not nak too many quea
tlona. It la enough Hint I was Inclined
to help you that tilglit. Vou must not
Inquire too closely Into tlm. why and
whereforit of tint secrecy."
"Let.mit ask whnt I please, Jacques.
Vou a ru not forced to nuawer, If you do
not like. In tho llrst place, then, how did
you come to know nil about tho affair in
which I was engaged?"
"That, monsieur, la ono or tho questions
which I must (lee-lino tu answer."
"Why did you conceive ao great an In
terest In nut n atrnnger?"
"That I cannot tell, unless It was bo
cnusii I liked your appenrnnce."
"Vou Iiml aeen me befurv. then?"
"I had seen you before, monsieur."
"Where when V"
"It would do you no good to know."
''Vou nro coot, Jucqtiea, I see I shall
gain no satisfaction from you. Hut, at
least, let mo know to what part of the
country you belong, nml whether I ahall
ever aeo you after thla."
"I nm not ciinacloua of belonging any
where In particular, monsieur, though one
may bo apt to see mu moat generally In
thla direction, I dnro any wo ahull meet
very often. If you remain nt the chateau
up there.
"Vou spokit of my needing assistance
at a future day. Do you think It probable
that I shall?"
"I do not say. Ono may very often
need help, ynu know; especially when
one has enemies. I ho old fnblu of the
lion and the moiiao la as useful to-day a
ever It was."
"Whero aro my enemies? Who are
they?"
"Vou know best, monsieur, whether you
havo gained the ill-will of sny one."
lou mean but no! What should you
know concerning that? lou"
'I mean, monsieur, to speak Id so many
plain words, that ugly cousin of pretty
Itoae I.nniontc Oaaparde. I should
hardly dare to litter his name aloud, but
I know that he is not within earshot by
a loug way.
lou do know, then, that bo Is my en
emy?"
"As far as Jealousy can make him, mon
sieur. And though ho is away now, It
Iocs not follow that he may not harm
you soino day.' He did not fancy your
treatment of lilm the other day. Ilut
now, monsieur. I havo lingered here long
enough. I am going to sew Hugh La
moute.
Ab!" exclaimed tho count; "then you
know Hugh?
Vea, monsieur. I help him sometimes,
In hla garden. He wants me this morn
ing." The young count pursued his wsy,
thinking, with aoina curiosity, and not a
little perplexity, of his new acquaint
ance.
"That accounts for It," he said to him
self. "Ho learned the story from Hugh,
I suppose, or overheard something. Hut
I wonder how ho became acquainted with
the danger which was awaiting mo that
night? However, I suppoao I must not
trouble myself about It.
And Jacques pursued bis route to tho
dwelling of Hugh I.amonte of bis chief.
Tor though Louis had no suspicion of It
nt present, this mnn wna concerned,
though In no very Important degree, with
thu very gang who had sent out men tn
waylay him in the forest, ihls was the
secret of hla knowledgo respecting their
buslnens.
(To be continued.)
Tlio CJillil-CllcwIni; Cow.
.V farmer In Knox County, Maine,
bus been Buying tneun tilings about n
ltockland slilpiiinxter, and Opinion re
ports a few. Quoth the farmer: "If I
bud a hired innti that inn do such a
piece of work iim be did uliout that cow
of his, I'd send lilm oft!
"Why, ho bought a cow of n mnn
down my wny; good critter nothln' tho
mutter with her. Hut It seems tho cap
tnln's wife one day thought the milk
tasted funny, and suggested that
p'r'nps she'd been entlu' spruce boughs;
mbl thu milk taxied like spruce. And
whnt does he do hut go out In the pos
ture to wnteh the cow, to seo what sho
did ent.
"The cow was hiyln' down, chewln'
her cud, and ho went nloiiR and nm his
linger In her mouth tosoo whnt bIio
was cat In'. Then he was mail. Ho put
n rope on tho cow, nnd started off with
her.
' 'Where nro you coin' with tho
cow?' says a neighbor.
' '(Join' to take her back to the feller
that sold her to inc. lie's cheated me,
and I won't stand Itl'
'Tho mnn wanted to know whnt was
tho matter, and ho went on to tell
nbout It. Sho wasn't eatln' boughs,'
he says, 'sho wns chewing gum; that's
what's the matter with tho milk and
makes It tasto llko spruce. And,' ho
says, 'that aurt an. mio's so addicted
to tho habit that sbos worn all her
teeth out. Sho ain't got iui upper tooth
in her bend. Hack she goes, quick!'
"Of courso tho man told lilm that It
was all nonsense; that cows never hail
no upper teeth, Hut ho didn't bellovo
n word of It, arid went on and had a
tarnal row with the man that sold lilm
tho cow. Ouess ho was uover satis
fied about It."
A Hyatenl of Hnvltisr.
Ascitm Mr. Hoetom tells mo ho al
ways gets his groceries In big lots,
Says ho finds It more economical.
Sands (tho grocer) oi ho knows how
to economize.
scutii Hut how can Hint ho econ
omical? The moro ho gets tho moro
ho has to pay for.
Sands You don't know lilm. Tho
moro ho gets tho moro ho doesn't pay
for. Philadelphia Press.
No Pro lit In It.
Sho llo's qulto n rising young au
thor, Ilo goes In lor realism, you
know.
Ilu Yes; but ho hasn't realized on
bis writings to any oxtent. Philadel
phia Record.
LET US ALL LAUGH.
JOKES FflOM THE PENS OF VA-
nioua humorists.
I'lraannt Incidents Occurring the
World Over-fWlnga tlmt Ar Cheer
ful tu Old or lonnvt-l'unujr H I ac
tion, that You Will J'.njoy,
"Ilonry," wlilnp'r'-'l tho lirlilo of two
hours, "you don't regrot marrying tne,
t'vwi yet?"
"No, darling," replied Henry, "Not
even yet!"
The trnln sped on, and sho was hap
py for another tire minutes.
A I.ltlU Una,
Mrs. Wltherly-I bought tlila nig for
the Imliy to jilny on.
Wltherly-Well, don't let ber know It.
lining: Ilia nliarr.
Angry Kntber Young mnn, you aro
Mtllng up too lata with my daugh
ter. I-Tst night I beard you kissing
her.
Capcrton Well, nlr, some ono baa
got to.
No Tlllf..
Willie Wlntermmi And so you won't
marry tne?
Mnmlo Montana- Why, how perfect
ly ridiculous you nre, Willie. Why,
you're nothing but an American.
Why It Tnatcd Hitter.
A physician had occasion to presciitx
qulnlnc to a patient, an elderly lady
who was not used to modern ways of
administering medicine. Tbe quinine
was ordered In capsules twelve, each
containing four grains. About a week
biter tbe doctor was called to attend a
daughter of the old lady, nnd be no
ticed what be supjiosed were the qui
nine capsules he had prescribed. Turn
ing to tho mother, be asked why she
bud not taken tbe medicine.
"Sure, doctor, do you mean that bit
ter powder? Yes, I took It. but bad
hard work getting It out of those little
glass tilings It wns put up In." Phila
delphia Ledger.
I'reated.
"Why, how rumpled your shirt waist
is, KdlthT'
"Dear mo! and It has only Just been
pressed, too."
Kdlth was qulto as self-possessed aa
ever. But Bt. John colored deeply.
Die Ke- Kins.
He When did you begin to suspect
I was In love with you?
She Tho day you told mo I could
hare anything I wanted on the bill of
fare.
Important to Tounir Men.
A girl would rnther have a half
pound of 40-cent candy In a fancy box
with a red ribbon round It than a
pound of 80-cent candy In a paper bag.
Somcrvlllo Journal.
A Common Affliction.
'How's he Axed?"
'Oh, he baa the usual strawberry ap
petite and pruno income." l'uck.
Wnntil Fix It.
Miss Matilda Your company U dis
tasteful to me.
Corporal PInbead Then I'll resign
from It I don't like being a soldlsr,
anywtiy.
Expenatve Luxuries.
Vera Hltonc Will you keop your
promise and resign from your club Just
aa soon as I become your wife?
Col U. Mette I'll hava to. Couldn't
afford both, you know.
All Scrap.
Pete Dey tell me dat bully was. al
ways coming around hara looking for
scraps. Did yo' accommodate him?
Bam Should say so. Ah hit hits
wid a bowl ob hash.
Tba Next Baas fcta.
"Polehanter talks about making an
Arctic trip in an automobile,"
"Why, he couldn't reach the pola
that wny."
"No, but he could como back and
tell how he didn't."
Iiahlnd the Scenes.
Sweet Stager The tragedian says in
coming through tho Rockies on a train
last winter be couldn't sea out ot the
windows.
Soubrctto Terrlblo snowstorm, I
guess.
Sweet Singer Box car, more likely.
Kud In 8lBht.
Count Vacum Ah, cot seems sat to
rich American girls aro gutting scarcer
and scarcer for us.
Count Dodo Yes, monsieur, all xe
'got-rlch-qulcl;' concerns ore recolving
bard blows in America.
Time to Una,
Handy Why are yer running so fast.
pnrd?
Cinders Here's a lyncbtn' mob be
hind tne,
Handy Dey don't want to lynch yor.
do dey?
Cinders No, but dey want ills
clotbcM-llna I'm wenrtn as suspenders
fer de rope.
Hck.m. That railed.
"By," exclaimed the man In a
hoarso whisper, ns he met his wlfo at
tho depot, "didn't I telegraph you not
to bring your mother?"
"Xtr," answered she, "but she open
ed tbe message and Insisted on coming
along to Investigate." Chicago Dally
News,.
A Cliansia of Opinion.
"So they named a cigar after your'
"Tea," answered the sporting man,
In a dubious tone.
"Quite a compliment."
"I thought so till I smoked one of
the clgsn. Then I concluded It was a
libel."
Vamlnlna Charity
Ho Miss Hlderlelgh certainly has a
very expressive face.
Hhe Yes, Indeed. It'a tho Tery best
money can buy.
! of Many.
Itubberton Did Jones die without a
will?
Dr. Quackem No, Indeed, lie died
very much against bis will..
Tarrlbla to Contsmplate.
LoMontt I see some one has invent
ed a projectile in the shape of a cigar
that will annihilate an army.
LaMoyne You don't sayl I bet If
they made It in the shape of a racing
automobile It would kill twice as
many.
Qnlt Aaotaar Slattar.
"Ilcfore I give you my answer," said
the fluffy-hatred summer girl, "I would
like to know If you are In a position
to keep me in tbe style to which I have
always been accustomed."
"If the styles don't change too often
I am," replied the wise youth. "Other
wise tho odds are In favor of my going
broke."
A Sevara Teat.
Iler Father (protestingly) You wish
to marry my daughter, en? Why, she
has only Just graduated!
Suitor (magnanimously) I know itl
And yet I love her! Puck.
Stout Man Hullo! You look as
you had been riding on a barret
Bow-Legged Man You look aa If you
had swallowed one.
lie Waa a Bade Man.
"John," said the young wife who
prides herrelf on being sensible right
up to tbe limit, "Just notice bow easy
fitting my new shoes are."
"Yes, I see," answered John.
"And John," she continued, "do you
know why I always get my shoes so
large?"
"Oh," replied the ungallant other
hnlt ot tbe sketch, "I suppose it's be
cause you have such big feet"
Her Only Camtnent.
"Nevertheless, my dear," said the
masculine portion of the combine,
"there aro a number ot men In the
world who are my mentnl inferiors."
"John," rejoined the wlfo of his
bosom as sho looked him square In the
eye, "you were always a confirmed
cynic."
Ont at Flrat.
"Sir," began the young man, "I camo
to ask your daughter's band In mar
riage. I feel that I am not worthy of
her, but "
"Yonng man," Interrupted the stern
parent, "I fully agree with you on that
point, and there Is nothing further to
be said on the subject. Good-evening,
sir."
Servanta.
First Ilousewlfe Some doys I undo
about everything the servant docs.
Second Housowlfo Gracious! How
do you dare?
. Hot Draft.
Mahoole Ain't yez th wan that
towld me niver to dhrlnk wather w!d
out boilln'?
Physician Yes, sir.
Mahoole Thin Oi hov a moind to
murther ye. 01 dhrank boiled wather
awn almost burned me mouth off.
People Kat Ijeas Dread.
"Well, how's business?" asked a re
porter of a wholesale flour agent.
You -would be surprised," he re
plied, "to know that In the time of
general prosperity we aro selling less
flour than m hard times. From 1803
to 1806 I sold more flour than ever be
fore or since. Business is thriving In
many lines, but the country Is too pros
perous for tbe flour men nnd the bak
ers."
"Why Is It? Simply becauso the peo
ple hare money enough to buy other
things than bread. When tbe country
Is bard up people get along on bread
as the staple of tbe table. Now they
use the fancy cereals, breakfast foods,
can use moro meat and vegetables and
generally expand their dlot, which, of
course, lessens the demand for bread."
Washington Star.
Power Used In Plnno-Playlng.
One playing on tho plauo the music
for three songs exerts enough force to
raise 1,000 pounds.
Many of 'man's mistakes are the re
sult of his lettlug desire got a strangle
hold on duty.
A Comparison.
if
GOOD
iiSboftgtoflB$;;
4--I- 1 1 IH"H-lfH4 t IHII l'M
W. J. Lampton, the yumorons versi
fier, wrote to a man who hnd asked
him for his photograph: "My Dear
Hoy I send you tho photograph for
which you ask. It Is such a good
likeness that It hurts."
When tho late "Tom" Ochlltrco first
started out In life he -went Into the
practice of law with his father. "Well,
Tom," tho senior partner Is said to
have remarked, "what ahall wo stylo
the firm?" Whereupon Tom Immedi
ately suggested: "Why not Thomas
P. Ochlltreo & Father?"
To explain why his trip had proved
so poor, a commercial traveler once
write a long account of how the weatli
er had affected business In the terri
tory in which he had traveled. In
due time be received this reply from
his firm: "We get our -weather reports
from Washington. Don't send us any
more; whnt we want Is orders."
It Is said that Mark Twain was
standing In a crowded street car, bang
ing to a strap, tbo other day. As the
car swung around a corner the strap
broke, dumping blm Into the lap of a
well-dressed woman. The humorist
aroso and bowed. "Madam," snld be,
"this Is tbe first tlmo the street car
company ever conferred a favor on
me."
A strange story comes from China
of a remarkable operation for appendi
citis performed by Mrs. William II.
Logan, wife of a medical missionary
lu China. When living In the far In
terior of that vast country, 800 miles
from the nearest doctor, her" husband
was stricken with appendicitis. Dr.
Logan saw that his only chance of re
covery lay In an operation which he
asked his wife to perform according
to Instructions which be gave her. A
more appalling position for a human
being to be placed In could scarcely
be Imagined; but this heroic -woman,
who, might, perhaps, have screamed If
a mouse bad run over ber feet, placed
her husband under an anesthetic, and
with her unskilled hand successfully
removed bis appendix. Afterward,
when he had rallied sufficiently to be
moved, she took him 800 miles by
wagon and rail to a physician, who
completed the cure.
A farmer named Ed Armstrong was
driving a bunch of cattle along the
road near Salinas the other day, when
a couple of automobile enthusiasts
came tearing along at a tremendous
speed. Armstrong feared that hla cat
tle would become frightened and stam
pede, so ho held up his band and asked
tho automoblllsta to -wait until he could
get his herd In shape. Tbe men only
laughed at him, and continued going
at full speed, defying Armstrong to
catch them. He applied the spurs to
bis horse, took: down his riata from tbe
saddle, and waa swinging the loop
preparatory to landing It over their
heads, when the courage of the occu
pants ot the car waned, and the ma
chine was brought to a, sudden stop.
The drivers waited patiently while the
cattleman drove his herd to one side
of the road, and, after thanking them
kindly, he allowed them to pass, with
out even so much as referring to the
ugly disposition they had shown un
til be had forced them to wait.
SOME FACTS ABOUT MONEY.
riaca that Wealth Tlaya tn Fiction
and In Kent LI fa Illatorr.
These are strange times In the ac
cumulation of fortunes stranger than
any fiction could ever hare made
them. Think of It for a moment! An
drew Caruesle.ua canny little Scotcli
boy, camo to this unknown land a few
decades ago bare-footed and last year
offered to settle the Venezuelan im
brogllo between Germany. England,
Frnnce and Italy and tbe South Amer
ican republic tur loaning Venezuela
the entire sum of these International
debts. And yet a fortune so huge as
to permit of such offers Is as nothing
to the power of another man. Mr,
Rockefeller, personally a quiet Ameri
can citizen from Cleveland, a simple
Urer, with a few habits of luxury,
could easily buy half a dozen ot tbe
Independent kingdoms of Europe;
could without feeling It to any great
extent In his pocketbook take up tbe
debts of all tbe republics ot Central
and South America.
Again, In 1844, Alexander Dumas
published a book called "The Count of
Monte Crlsto," tbe baels of which Is
the fabulous wealth ot an Individual.
The count finds a cave full of almost
priceless Jewels. He buys men's lives;
ho spends money everywhere; he
comes to Paris with a notice from bis
Italian bankers giving him unlimited
credit on a Paris bank. There Is no
limit on what he ran draw from M.
Danglers. It Is entirely unprecedent
ed. Nothing like It was ever known
before. He draws 5,000,000 francs
and ruins the banker and still has no
complaint from his Roman bouse. He
rights wrongs; he saves more lives;
be punishes the guilty by tbe use of
unlimited wealth. And then by and
by he leaves Maximilian on the Island
of Monte Crlsto with his bride and
sails away. As Maximilian sees bis
ship disappear on the horizon he finds
Monte Crlsto's will leaving him his
whole fortune. This fortune, Dumas
suggests in two or three places, was
100,000,000 francs $20,000,000. It is
the greatest private fortune the
Frenchman could concelvo of in 1844
It is considerably less than the In
come ot John D. Rockefeller In 1003.
So you might run on It It did not
tire tbe brain to concelvo more. But,
most remarkable ot nil, this one in
dividual mnde his unprecedented
wealth with his own brains, Harper's
Weekly.
DUTIES OF THE CARDINAL.
IHs:h Church Dlcnltarlca Must Havo
Borne exceptional Qualities.
Tho title of cardinal makes Its first
appearance in history in the fourth
century, and church authorities de
clare that the name means "princi
pal," and that It is also derived from
tho Latin "cordo," tho bingo or pivot
sf a door. In tbe early days certain
principal churches In Italy ware
known as cardinals, and the title ot
cardinal waa sometimes given the
chlct pastors (hat directed them, to
this day tbo canons of tho cathedrals
of Milan, ltavennn, Salerno, Nnplco,
Cremona, Compostclln nnd Harrl wear
scarlet robed wbllo officiating In tho
sanctuary. Pope Plus V. ordered them
to relinquish the tltlo of cardlnnt that
was given them "by courtesy," though)
they retain their robes.
It is a remarkable fact that, though
tho offlco of cardinals Is the highest
In the gift of tho church next to that
of pontiff, It may be bestowed on any
member ot the Catholic church, lay,
man or cleric. It does not require that
a man shall have spent bis years In
the priesthood or that he should hnvn
worn the robes of bishop. Cardinal
Antonclll, whose opposition to I'opo
Leo at one time attracted the atten
tion of the whole world, waa appoint
ed while he was yet a lay member
of the church. But onco tho bcrottn,
and cnlotta are bestowed It Is obli
gatory for tho recipient to tako holy
orders within a certain period of time.
In rank at court the cardinal, wheth
er ho be deacon, priest or bishop, la
equal to a piinco of tho blood. Anil
this is one of the things that giro to
the diplomacy of tbe church much of
its power. Tho representatives of tho
Popo at tho courts of Austria and
Spain and at Purls hold grave politi
cal powers and their ndvlco Is sought
alike by tho rulers of the nations and
the leaders of tho parliamentary par
ties. The interests of the church In
theso countries are so great that tho
cardinals appointed to represent Homo
are among tbe best Informed and most
astute dignitaries nt the command of
the Pope.
At Rome various duties fall to tho
lot of tho cardinals. Most of them
hold posts at tho head of tho various
congregations or bureaus In tho ad
ministration of chnrch affairs. So Im
portant and honorable are the Inter
ests consigned to these posts that they
are eagerly sought- for by the most
powerful families In tbo church and
the conduct of a congregation Involves
executive capacity of the highest or
der. The congregations are the conslsto
rlai, for the reunion of dissenting?
churches, and the inquisition of holy
offlco, over which the holy father him
self presides. Then come the congre
gation of bishops and regulars, of tho
council, the propaganda, the Index, o
rites, of studies and tho sacra pcnl
tenlenu Brooklyn Eagle.
Book Lover Is Still Dazed.
A new woman bad Just moved into
the neighborhood. Sho was of the dis
tinct literary typo. Books were her
hobby.
Her neighbors called. One of them
in particular seemed to desire to mako
an Impression. She professed an en
thusiasm for new books and borrowed
several. The books were returned
within a few days, but always with
out comment as to their contents, very
much to the disappointment of tho
lender.
Book after book was borrowed and
returned with the same result. Fin
ally, after two or three weeks, when
the ambitious neighbor called again.
a new morocco-bound Bible was lying
on the parlor stand. The neighbor
picked It up ind glanced through it
"I believe I'd like this," was tho
remark, the same as usual.
"Well take it," ald tho obliging
new neighbor, "and when you finish
It let mo know how you like It," she
added, with the slightest twinkle in
ber eye and a shade of suspicion In her
voice.
Tbe borrower hesitated for a mo
ment, took the book, and was gona
with It for over a week.
Finally sho returned with it, laid it
where sho had found it, and, thanking
her obliging friend, started to go with
out a word further.
"Well, how did you like it?" called
the book lover after the other's re
treating figure.
"O, I don't know," was returned;
it's good in places. But ho does final
ly get her in tbe end, don't he?"
The book lover is still dazed.
Named After Depew.
"There Is a town In western New
York," says Chauncey M. Depew, "that
bears my name, and in this town somo
persons by boring tapped a natural
gas well, and thereupon formed Tbo
Depew Natural Gas Company, Lim
ited.'
Mr. Choate and I met shortly after
this on a public occasion, when both
wero set down for speeches. He had
the last word. After dealing with oth
er matters, ho drew from bis pocket
the prospectus of the gas company and
read It. Then he looked tho company
over, looked at me, and, reading tho
title at the head of the prospectus.
queried with quiet emphasis, 'Why
limited?' "Boston Post,
Silenced by tho Glare.
Hetty Green recently bought a par
rot of a bird fancier who warranted
tho bird to be n splendid talker, but
Mrs. Green found after some months
that it never made a sound approach
lng tho semblance of a word. Sho
called on the bird fancier and demand
ed an explanation.
"Well, ma'am," said that worthy,
that there bird was brought up In my
humble home, and I expect when it
went to your residence and saw alt
the beautiful, luxurious surroundings.
It was struck dumb with surprise, I
dare say It won't ever talk again, but
that ain't no waya my fault, so I can't
take It back."
Why He Bat Down.
Maude Adams says that while at
tending a performance In tbo Palace
Theater, London, a young dudo Insist
ed on standing up In tho pit, to the
great annoyanco ot thoso behind blm.
Angry shouts of "Sit down!" "Turn
him out!" etc., wero raised, but be still
persisted In keeping his position. At
InBt a cockney In the gallery cried out
In a voice of sympathy:
"Let 'lm alono; he's only a poor tal
lor resting 'imself."
Tbe dude sat down Instantly.
It Is usually tho Idiot who rocks the
boat that lives to regret It
Thero Is no earthly hope, for the mast
who boasts ot bis failures.