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About Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 4, 1903)
The Contrabandist; OH ne Life's ('HAITI!!! I It wna Jlll ii n IT till' I'lllBU of II sninn what Hiiltry aprlim itiiy. nhcn I lie t'liuiit Louis d',rlil lnuk lila nny iiIiiiiii I If lonely iiml uln.iiiiy pnili IimiiIIiik tliruiiiili tliu very linirl ir n deep finest lylmt to wards tliu noil Hi of I 'rn ii ri', ninl not fur from t lit' lii'iiulirul wIihIIiikk i,l tin' llliiuii'. 111! Ulla yollllg- ecrtlllllly Hill lllillll tllllll II vi'-miil t w. lilj ; nr ii slight innl ! M 11 1 llgliro, yet nerves ninl sinews Unit tulitlit liuvi' well liccntiio ninny n nun of Milliter fin inn and liruiiili'r shoulders; Willi it Him lu'iiil, n proud ninl iiolilii brow, llllUUl Wlllcll I'lllll'll Nllkl'll tllllKMl-M or rn- U'H Imlr; dink, earliest liusri'l ejoa, n (lightly n i ii 1 1 1 n lid. i', mill llpa somewhat compressed, shaded by n curling mous tache, ninl allowing, nt ii glance, tliv llrm licsa ninl ilp Willi uf lia ilinriu ti'l'. Tliu whole ciiiiiitciinticc, with Hk dcllciite, fine ly rut, yet iiiiMk rentuics, mill nr ihmiglit. mill energy, ninl power, un li'aa llinii of tlic gcnilcst iiml ti'iiili'ri'Ht feelings with Which tln liiiiiinii heart la ulrti'il. ('unlit Louis rode n n-l-p I oiiwnrd, thinking nr ninny (liliiifx smile Hull wi-r I'tcnaitiit ninl aiiini' Unit were ml, ninl some, ngiilii, Hint were both; now Ma fiitlii'l", uliiini ho Iiml Inst seen, sumo Wccka before, nt Paris; now nr his uncle, tin Mnnpila ii M.iiilniil'iin, hIiiiiii Iiii was it Ixiii t tn vlalt, mnl lila Mir cousin, lli'lrn, whom liu nlrimily liliiiglucd watching for Mm. Louis could have lin lighted lila magnificent cousin Helen ua a queen nr a iliii'ln-na. tint lila wiri never. Yet lie llki'il Iiit Ini had nlwii)n liked her from lin) liimil, In n I'nnaliil)' wny. Hht Aviu tn-n n t fill, graceful ninl ncooinpllshed, too, a a far ua ( wna possible tn become, III llmai' dnyn; Imt ln Iiml never thought or Iiit III ii nearer position limn tlmt which hIii' Ih'1.1 nt Trrnl. Hinhleiily hrniiil, i It lil llimlit'ii nr light ning lit ill' tin' rnri'at nil iitinut lilin mnl Willi Milium tin' illailiii'iin-aa or imiiinlii) tin law clearly, ni ii llllli' illatimi'i' beyond lila horse's hend, u liiiinmi figure, crrcpliM imt, un nil fours, rrniu hcm-atli tlni un ili'rlirilaliitlint skirled t ti t piiHiwny. Al must liivoltuitnrlly ln iln-tv ri'ln, n nil. In till) pitch) lilui'klli'aa Hint sllccccilcil III" llnull, eiiilctivorcd to discern I ho figure fignlli; Imt thla wna Impossible. Yet he Won i-unsi'luiis Hint It luiiat In' ni'iir lilin AlmiMi nt lila very side. Willi n quirk Imt ilil''t luutlnii, hi' plnred lila hand in Ida Iiijaum. TlitTI he una conscious of another liiiml In id upon lila knee, while n man's voice, In n low Imt frli'inlly toni', anil t'liiai' lii-alili' Ii I ii i. Mn Id : "I'uunt IhiiiIs il'Artnla, you nru In dan ger. Pause n moment." "Ami where rents I In) danger?" asked l.atila, Ilnnlr. "lteyotid yuu, inumli'iir. ninl behind ns well, mnl un cneh side. Von rnnniit rn rape It, cumi If yon would, rxn-pt liy jour own cimrniji', mnl your own utrniRlli mnl niclllty, wlilrli, I know, linvi-nfrvi-il yuu I'm liutv. 1 lunr licit at tlmt 0 ii it il ro on your wny tlirnuuli tlila furi'il tii-llllilit tn your uiivli-'a rlinli'iiu: tlmt you curry nliout y.nir i'rauii n coualili'rnlilii lllil nr lllimi'y, liralilra anlim fw Ji'wrla of lirnry inlur, wlilrli you In-ar wlllilu u uniill rnakct. In tliv Iiiiiit rolila or tin' liroml anali nliout your wnlat, ninl tlmt yuur vnlvt you lrt at th inn tlila morn Inc. Tliua you nri' llttliiK lin-y for tliuau wlio rri-Ui'iit OifaK plnrra." A fii'liiii; or tin' iriirouiulit natnniali III t-II t took poaafaallill lit III" count. "Who nrt' you," lie nakt'tl, "who known nil tlila no ui'll?" "I mil your frli'inl, .Miumleur Iuila. wlilcli la nil I ran till you ut pri-ai'iit." iniil Hit' mini. "Hut, In tin- nn-n ii 1 1 un-. tnki- tliiw mnl ili'fi'ii.l yourai'lr wild thrill, na you will tun u iii'cil In n llttlu whilu nfliT you liiiio pnrtcil with iiii." Atnl Iriiula frit n lirni'i' or lii'iivy ilatola plnri'il In lila liniul. "My kikiiI ri-llow, I hnri nrma nlri'mly I tin not iumhI them," In- ri'ttiriii'il, "tltotitch I Ihiink you for them tliiivrv ly." "Hut you ilo iiihiI tin-in. nioiuli'iir, n Jolt will "linrtly Iiml, for your own, nnfn n a you think tin-in, hiirii Iiml tin- dinria'a wltlnlrnwn." "IIiiwV" utti'n-il tin- rount. In niirjirlap. "It la even na I till you; It n iliiiui nt Cnrlilitny tlila iiiuniliiK. nftiT you your ni'ir Iiml t'lmrKi'il thi'iu. Tlifao wlih'h I Iiuvh ttlvi'ii you will ilo you kooiI m-rvlri', mnl with llii'ln I tin lint fioir for you, ill tluiiiKli tlu-ru la ilniiKiT nliout you, Ho wnry, ninl nt-t with your uauiil lirnrvry ninl riiliuni'Ha whtui tliu ilmiKcr ioiih'h. It in nut fur off." "Anil no I mil to ho wnylulil?" uakcil I. oula. "Think the worms it Ik tho nfot wny, for thi'ii you will I io I'i'IIit pri'iuiroil for whiiti'ViT rlinnru prrariitH Itai'lr." "It Ih wi'll. I think you for your warn inn, ninl will I'luli'nvnr to ho rcmly," At Hint iliatnnt, mmlht'r liroml nht-ot of Ilk'htnliiK iiulvi'i't-il llko llnini-, nml I.onla lii'hi'lil tho in-raoii whiiiu ho mlri'xxi'il-n iiimi uf inlilillliiK nit", with Imahy ilurl; Imlr, n wilil, uui'oiulii'il ln'iml, nml n Iii'nry inoimliii'ln'; wcnrlni; n rminh Jacket mnl n liroml nnali with lonn I'lula, within tho fotilM or wlilrli wrro nturk n hrnro of plntola Hluiihir tu thoao wlilrli Limla now Iirhl lu lila own hnml. Ilia hi'itil wan un rovrrnl, no Hint tliu llt'lilnlni; ilUplnyeil lila fi'iituro rlrnrly. "(JiMiiU" nnhl I,uul. "I slinll not ho likely to forui't your furo In n hurry, my frirnil. 1-i't inn tliniik you ugnln for your tlinrll' nnalHtniU'ii," "Nay keep your thankn, monaleur keep your thnnkn until tho danger lio pant," returned tho nimi, quietly. "I only hop" you may not mifrly tlirouuli thla, oud Hint 1 niny ho nt hnml when you need warului; iiKnln. (looil iiIkIiI." I.ouls rontinurd lila wny, with ntrnnirely mixed feelliiKH of wonder nt what had juat occurred, toxethur with hoiiio dcKreo of apiireheiialoii mid curloalty an to tho daiiKcr which uiennred him. Nothlnir In tliu aluipi) of dniiKer niipenred, mid for, lierhnpa, tho spurn of Ilflrrn nilliulra, lio wna kept In Hiiapenan. Hut, midden ly, a lirancii ahovu Ida head wan hent and ernrked nhnrply, mid whllo Itolnml, nf rrlirhled, renred violently, nml nlinoit un-m-nti'd Ida rider, tho IlKlitnlnc lliiHhed ikii In mid tliu llk'nro or a man nwiuiK llKhtly down from I lin lirnnrh to tho pnth wny. A ntrnni! hmid xrlzod Ituluud'a liri die; n roueli volro uttered "Stand!" a pUt ni waa pointed at tho rouufn head. "What do you roMulroY" usked I.oula, lulelly ami aternly. "Whatever money you earry nliout you. nivu It to mn, nml ho ijulclc atout HI" anld tho voice, "You mo mistaken, my man," uttered Iinuia, iiuletly, whllo ouo Mow from lila bllulit hut powerful arm struck nsido tho uplifted weapon, mid a m'coml strctohnJ tho rulllnu aeusnlesa amoiiK tho lumlirs liy tho path. With n terrllled anort, ns tlio count tcavo him tho spur, Itoluud ki'I loiied rorward, but ho hnd acnrcoly cov cruil a dozen roda nloim before two morn .men aprmiK out Into tho wny. Itoluud, scared by their auddcu appear- A TRUE STORY OF THE SOUTH OP FRANCE Secret lim e, nhriink mid mil mil, mid ulilln on of tlni vllliiliia ni'lueil lirldle, nml lirouuli I hn lienat In lila feet iiKnln, Ihn ulh Innpeii upon tit.- tniiim ruiinl, n nil. with ii powerful m nap, nlinuat .lrnw him frmii I Ii" anildii', nl Ihn aiimn limn llrlriK n pla un riiiBi' to nia i'iir. Ily iiilr'iilii nr clinnr inn mm iiiiaami. i.imia Jerknil Ma uriii from Hin xrimii nr lila naaiilliint. nn ntrui'k nt Mm Mlih Hm hint nf n hnnvy riillim iililpi Imt It wna I'limtht mi wieiirlind from lila fill tut. I.idIiik hold, thru, na n fllinl maourir. on mui of Ma plalnla, Ii" fired nt the frllow, nhu droii pnl, with n muuthnrod ruran, tu I lin enrth whllo lila -mi 1 1 1 ii liloli, who hnd lienn hold IliK Hie hit uf Hie miirlni;, trnmlilliiK ali nd, let Kn nml nprniiK, In Ma lurif,' upon tin' ruiinl; Imt I.oula, lh n hency lilnw front inn iiiai'iinritnil pliiol, relied him lllao to Hin Eriillllil, to keep I'limpiilly with Ilia cullipillliim. I hell, ulvlliv Koliiml the rein nif ii III. hn Kiillnped on, A volley or nhnta wna llred nfler Mm, hut hn wna unhurt, thoiiKh tun or linen whlalled pnai lila enra. It wnn evident Hint the numlM'r uf hin naanlllllla lulil lieeu nlliniiilnil, for ntlll ho wna neither met nor followed; there fore, liu alnrkeiied lila liurae'n I to Kivo him lireathinx 'niiare, mid nlao to ciitialiler, on Ida own pnrt, uliirh ilirei' Hon he moat purine, for the Held nr com mon upon which he found hlinaelf mlicht Ink" Mui In nny illrectluu oiliir than tho nil" ilealred, I poll di'llliernlioll, he ri nolvcil to it" atrnlKht onwnr.l from tho A nriuMii: sii.ktiiii iv niK rmiKHT. wood imth, nml he atriu-k nrroaa I hi finhl. Ida wny nllll lllumliind liy Ihn electrlc llilnlira Hint ilayed over the Murk nky, Tim ruin wna fnlllm: fnater und more vio lently, when middrnly u llk'ht Klnnmed out iipnn the blnrkiieiia nrouml it, nt aoino dlatmire nheitd, mui reuieiiilieriUK thut n amnll cottnee, luhnhiled, when tie wna in thla illairlet Inat, If lie rcuieuilicrt-d rlclit by -mine iiulet lH'iiaiinta of the neighbor hood, l,ood nomewhere neur Ida preaent poaltlou, ho ciiiirliided Hint thla inuat be It. I'uttliiK the apura to Ida henat aenln. therefore, lie prenaeil on, nml In a few momenta reurhed Ita friendly ahelter, Juit na the rnln rauio pourine down in nlno- lute lorrnlita. I'mlrlilnir Itnlnnd In nil old ahed Hint ndlolned thla cot In to nt ouo end, Iiuli kiiorked on tho door with tho hniidlo of Ida whip. Ihn nest moment It wna open ed wide, nml before him, aluidlnj: her eyea uith her hnml, with hrr prrlly nml petite IlKtire rlrnrly iiellneil iiKiiluat the kIow IliK linckKrimiid or n well-lighted npnrt ment beyond, atoud n yoiini; Klrl, evident ly not more thiin aiitecu yenrs of ii.-e There wna nil enrneat aiiiiln un her face mid n wiirm welcome fur miiiic one, t-vi-dentl), upon her llpa; hut the lienutirul feiiturea climiKeil their Kweet, eipectnnt look to one of Htnrtli'd aurprlan na the lliilit from the lipiirtliirnl 1.,'lillnl nhoiio upon the m rulim- face of our younii Imro. "Your pnrdou, mnileiiiiilaelle," milil Iiula; "but the atoriii hna overtiiken me, mnl I am forced to nsk for ahelter here a llttlu whllo until ita proai-tit violence alintea. Tl.u youni; clrl ateppeil luirk. ant Inc. with Kriitlo ami Kmreful courtesy ua she illil an: "Will monaleur be plenaed to enter? Ilo la very welcome." Ami cliislui: tho door nun In na he ciiinn In. alio rondiicted him Into a lurEO nml comfortntilo room nml eJceedliiKly neut looklint wlthnl. There waa no person ex cept tliemselvra there, A shnrp Kuat of wind mid rnln Ix'nt nKiilust the ruaement, and he saw the Klrl look Involuntarily in Hint direction with n linlf alch mid nil nlr or iipprrlirlisluii aollcltuile. "l'erhnpa inndeinolaelle hna frlenda who nro exposed to thla storm'" bukkcsIciI Louis. "Yes, monsieur, my fnther, who hna been nlisent ill ilny. He should luive re turned much earlier than this, Imt, doubt less, ho will como home soon. He went to the market tills moriilntf. I mu sorry ho is not hero to welcome yVti." A little allenco ensued, when tho fa I r hostess drew a splnnlnir wheel towards her, and, stttliiK down by the hearth, he Killl to work quietly but ludiistiiously, now nml then lookliiK up from her em ployment tn respond to aomo observation uf her guest ; while Louis, on his part, studied nt leisure her nweet and some what thoughtful countenance, followed, with pleased Interest, tlin dnnclnir mo tion of those snowy lltllo liniula, nml wondered tn himself how n graceful blos som llko this could over linvo sprung up and flourished In n peasant's home. Tho rnln and wind beat furiously about tho llttlu cottitKC. liicrenslnc tho souse of comfort within, nml blemllne Its sound curiously with Ida retlectiona, ns Louis ant there by the hrnrtli, opposite to his hoatesa, nml thinking how cxcjtilsitrly prelty alio wnn, ami wondering what her father wna like, envying him, nt ono mo ment, for lining tho fnther or bo lovely a child, mid tho next, thinking Hint, much na they might lovo each other, ho waa very glad Hint ho wna not her fnther. Whllo ahe, working busily, kept her lit t lr wheel whirring, wldrrtng and now and then slightly turning her fnlr head with an Intent look, ns If llatenlng for tho foot nteps that did not come, or lifting her beautiful eyes to licr guest's fnco ns he apoko to Iter, nml answering him In thoao quiet, pleasant tones that Louis could not help thinking the sweet est In tho world, until tho wind died nwny nnd the rain censed, and Louis could not hut nny, na ho looked out from tho casement upon tho narrow road tlmt wound across tho fields, and nmong tho distant hills, to his unelo'a chateau, thut It was tlmo for him to depart. "Havo you far to go, monsieur?" alio asked, putting aaldo her wheel nnd ris ing. "Across tho hills yoadsri halt a league, ... -a r iv i!StZ perhaps," Louis nnairernils "na far tho (thntenu do .Montiiulmn, You know the old rli ii I en ii V" "Yea, Indeed!" aim replied, with a prct ly aiiilln, nml il alight lilusli. "I go then every day to curry (lower to .Miideuiol snlln Ilnlnli, And I think you lire ' she linsltuteil, nml blushed morn deeply while her glniicn wnvered nml fell liefiui Hint or Lniila. Tlni poor child wna iialimn .il r Ii,,, tn i,..ir ............. i .-I... I... iu.. "I mu Louis d'Arlols. the cousin of Slndeiiiiilsellii Helen, lin auiiiilleil, "And now, niny I nut know In whom I mil In ih'lilixl r,ti- tin, lukKiJlulltv f linvi, ri'cnlv I'd, Hint I niny, ut least, return thanks for II?" "My iiiimii la Hose Lamonte. monsieur "Indeed!" ho said, kindly. "I hnvo linaril my cousin snnnk nr von. then. iH well na her father. You nml 1 urn not Millie similiters nfler nil. Itnse. I am much obliged to you fur jour kindness to inn tn-iilght. I shnll lint sunn forget It." "(luoil-nlglit, monsieur," alio leliirued, qulrlly. 'Din 111,1n, lifi,i,i mm tiiiiimilil flit! Iliwill Hin geiitlo fain ami pretty llguro of his rullagr hosteaa na he took nun Inst glnnce. nml then lie lin. I closmi the door. 1 no Imulscnpii was peacnful mid, wlthnl, bemi tlful, na ho glanced over It; field, wood unit lilll Inv cnlii, nml milnt nil nrnlllld. The nlr wna allll, n ml the silvery bi-nma uf Hin moon shiimi fair upon thn scene, whllo hiiiiiii light cloud, at Interrnla, missed her aweel face, nnd rellected a passing shadow upon the ijulct enrth be low. How different this see no from Hint nr two hours before! Loula could hardly realize the violent contest he hnd had, na ho rodo along In tho allenco now. (To be continued.) CANDID YOUNG PEOPLE. Miock Home or Tlielr Aniunliitiiiiccs tn Utrlr f.nck of liiwerve. "Ill my day." anld mi elderly woman recently, "while txiverly wiian't con aldereil n crime nny tnoru thiin It la now. It wna n subject carefully kept lu tin' background. "If one hail to ilnrn her stockings, It wna Uonii lu tho Hccret-y of her lied room. If n dress had tu bo turned or u lionuet rctrlinmiil, theao proceaaen were never spoken of outside of tliu family circle, nnd whatever skimping the mistress of the mansion did to keep down household expenson wan u secret between herself ami her cook. "It wasn't that .the family dignity could have lieen lowered by tho public's knowing that there was a. lack of fluids; It was Hint It wan liout' of the publlc'M business. The public might bo III! that .Mr. Yiiiidcrtdlt wished it, but It had no concern In the expeiidltiiruH to which the gentlefolks weru sometimes forced to iniil.o ends moot. "That was thirty yearn ago or more. ami I remember still wit-pliiK bitterly mien liecaiisu an envious cousin told Home of our plnyuiiitcH that my new allll frock was iniide out of Aunt Lucy's dinner gown of tliu winter before. Things arc so different now that I'm BoliietlllH'H Hcliockeil. 'Only yesterday I heard a girl nay when tny granddaughter exclaimed at the beauty of noine new furs tho latter wore, 'Lor', child, they were given to me. You know very wen we commi t afford to buy sables, poor ns we are." 'And my grandchild replied, 'I wish to goodness my relatives would give mo soirio new rags. Job's turkey wasn't nny more iKivcrty-strleken than I nm.' 'Another young woman In the group declared. "Well, I am going to havo a new lint this winter. If 1 don't gut any thing else the rest of the year. Sly old one Is positively disgraceful. It's been made uver so often.' These wero all young women, whoso parents nru lu comfortalilo circum stances, hut they seemed to delight In giving their hearers the Impression that hey were in Imminent dnnger of going to the almshouse. This pose. If It Is a pose. Isn't confined to tho gentler sex, but extends to the men. If I didn't owe tny tnilor such n pot of money. I'd keep you in violets this winter,' one lord of creation remarked to ii young lady ho had recently met, lu my hearing, not long since. 'Tell you wluil I li no,- ne conuniieil. if I make koiiiu cash on u deal rvo gone In to, TU send yon n thousand for tho first geriunn. If I don't, you won't get so much as u rosebud, for I will lie down on tny luck then for fair." (live mo the days again when tho condition of one's purse wasn't public property nnd when there was more re serve In speaking about private affairs. This way of talking gives n very Ingen uous nlr to the speaker, hut I'd llko her better If she continued to darn her Btocklngs In the secrecy of her bedroom and spent her Inst live cents for cur faro with the nlr of one who has tho mines of (.olconda at her back." Hal- tlmoro News. Tho Sc Imwycr'H Hpeech. Here Is one of the humors of the wnr: When tho cruiser Topekn was brought nerosH the ocean her otlleors hail n mer ry time with the ltrltlah crew. Tho vessel was built for l'ortugal, nnd her inline, when our government purchased her, was tho Diogenes. On tho third day out from Liverpool her olliccrs de cided to mount n few guns, hut when the order was Issued there was loud grumbling nmong the vrcw. Having noticed the prevailing mutinous spirit, the nontenant In command had tho roublesomu men called before him nnd asked what was wrong. The leading sen lawyer of tho party stepped for ward and niado the following brief and pithy speech: "When wo shipped oil this 'ere vessel, sir, alio was tn n Ilrlt- Ish yard, an' wo thort sho was llrltlsh from stem to stern, nut tho anchor s no niore'n h'lsted an' we're no inoro'n under wny 'an ye calls 'or tho Diagno ses mi' runs hull the Ilruyzlllan Hag. riint nlono wero suspicions. We's two days out nn' ye runs hup tho Atnerlcuu Hag an' calls or the Tuplocn. Wo think yo'ro nothln' but a pirate." Kansas City Star. Tho Now Woiiuiii lu (loritmuy.. Professor Kaufnmim of llreslnu, In onferrliigtheilegivo of doctor of philos ophy on Prnuleln liunierwnhr, tho tlrst woman who has ever passed tho nxainluiitlou at that university, said tlmt ho earnestly hoped study among women would "continue to bo tho ox ceptlon with tho fow cnpnblo Indlvldu nls," Inasmuch ns It was deslrablo that they Bhould hold to their primary and noblest culling of wife nnd mother, which a man will never bo nblo to ex ercise," Whcro nil nro selfish, tho sago Is na better than tho fool, uud only rather moro dangerous. Froud. SUPPOSE WE SMILE. HUMOROUS PAHAGfiAPHS FROM THE COMIC PAPERS. I'lcaaaut Incidents Occurring: th World Over-KiiliiU" tlmt Are Cheer ful to Old or Voiiiitf-l'iiini Hclec tloua thut Kverbodx Will Kujoy. Maud I Ihlnk It's queer of Mabel to hold Hpltu against you Just been II so somebody told her you said sho was "such ii lltllo thing. Irene Huh! The smaller somo peo plo il 1 1- tlni more spite they can hold. A Thine to Iteiiieinber. "You must admit," alio an Id, "that In theao days few men die for honor.1 "Well, Imt you muat remember," ho answered, "that lots of tho men who dlo for dollars might havo died for honor If 11 hail como first." Vend il. "I see the 'wild' lag on Dauber's pit turc." "Yes. old Hmlth lwught It." "Why don't they hang tho tag on old Hmlth r Uulta Html ii. 1'nrmer What's th' matter with th cow? itiistus I spec she done fell down an' strained her milk. Useful These Times. 'I think we better include a branch of cooking In Hurry's education," said the wealthy old gentleman. "Cooking?" gnsjied his amazed wife. Why, Hurry will graduate soon and be n grent man." I know, dear, but those days of strikes a person never knows when he'll be called to cook his own meals 111 a hotel." Out of Meusoti. 'Why ure yer so sad?" asked Dusty Dennis. Why," growled Sandy I'lkes, "dat lady said If I'd split do wood she'd give mo an old pair of shoes she prom lsed tne Inst winter." 'An' did she?" 'Yes, she give me n pair of snow' shoes." ller Itnvr Waa Natural. 'Why do you dislike that Bicker ford girl so thoroughly?" "Well, It's because her hair Is cur ly." "So Is yours." "Hut her's curls naturally." Cleve land Plalndealcr. Ifer Xtepljr. "What kind of cake do you 'prcfer. Miss Klttlsh'"' nsknl Mr. Fosdlcfc, as he handed the tray, which held quite a variety. "Wedding cake," she replied, de murcly. Detroit Free Press. Careful of Appearance. "nut does your mother Insist that you must take a chaperon?" "Yes, but she can follow behind In Jim's old auto and It's sure to break down." Clcvela nil Plalndea Icr. The Only Wuy It Could Happen. Talk about yer wonderful dlvln'! I stayed under water free hours do ud der day." "Huh! D'ye t'lnk I'm easy? Where did this happen?" "Right down yonder by de tracks. I fell asleep under dat water tauk." Ilefliiltlon, Willie What's a Little hypocrite. pn? Pa that say. -A hypocrite, my son, is a, man believes something ho doesn't Ilia Objectlnaa. "i'ou used to any sho was like a Dresden doll," said Harry Bluelace. "Too much so," spoke Uusslo Qunn. "How could that bo?" "Why, she cried 'Mamma' every tlmo sho was siiueczed." Where It la Htrennotia. "Mamma," queried llttlo Mary Ellen, "Is tho pen mightier than tho sword?" "Of course It Is," replied tho wise mother. "Your father couldu't sign checks with a sword." Ilupld-KIre Tliouclit. "Always think before you speaV' said llttlo Tommy's mamma, "Gee, maw," ho answered, "If you do that you must do somo pretty fqst thltikln' sometimes when you git to Coin' for paw." He Was Modest. Landlady What part of the chicken will you have, Mr. Nowcoraer? Mr. Nowcomer Oh, about half of It will ho ample, thank you. The Bafer Way. Ilo Shall I bo tho first to tell your father? She No, I'd rather break It to him. Detroit Free Pre. Hard I.nck. "Oh, dear!" walled (he first summer bud. "My new bathing suit In a wreck." "What happened to It?" asked mullet No. 2. "I got caught on tho beach In K shower this morning, that's what," an swered sho of tho woeful wall. No Mntirnlnir In It. "What of tny future?" asked tho fair maid. "You will never know what grief or sorrow Is," uniwiTcd tho fortune teller. "And will I marry?" queried tho fair one, anxiously. "Hiirc." replied the visionary propli clean. "Pour times." M litter of Choice, Mis. Homer I can't understand how .Mrs. Meeker can waste so much tlmo on that horrid poodle, lira. Nextdoor Why, Is It possible thai you have never met her husband? A. Othera fe Ua. He Chnrllo Huplclgh and Miss Wi st rly are doing a courtship stunt. She Ah, Indeed! Another case of two souls with but a single thought, lie Yes; and It's doughnuts to fudge that she originates Uio thought. An Awful Jolt. Do llorum I wonder what tlmo It Isr Miss Meeker (wearily) Really, I can't say! De Uorum Well, It must be about time I was going home. Miss Meeker Oh, I'm sure It Is ever so much later thnn that! Kvenlnir Up. Mistress I bopo you'll suit I've had eleven cooks In the last three mouths. Cook That's nothing. I have had twice as many places Detroit Free Press. Too Much I'yroirraphr. "Maria," said Mr. Stubb, as he gazed on the scorched cakes, "these new fads are a nuisance." "What now?" queried Mrs. Stubb, passing the coffee. 'Why, Lucy Ann has gone and prac ticed pyrography on these flannel cakes." Kather AmhlKUoua. Softead Wasn' that aw a beastly absurd rumor about me aw losing me mind? Miss Slaaher Yes; that certainly was tho limit. A Peach. "Me gal's a peach!" "What kind of a peach?" "Why, a cling; seer Alwara the Autocrat. "She Is very haughty since her fam ily attained wealth," said the sensitive woman. "I doubt if there la anybody she doesn't snub." Yes, there Is," answered Miss Cay enne. "If she wants good dinners. she's got to be polite to the cook the same as the rest of us." Washington Star. Her Krankneaa. "I can't see what you find In me to admire," said the lovelorn youth who had recently blown " himself for a $3i.50 engagement ring. Why," gurgled the fluffy-haired an gel of his domestic dreams, "that's Just what everybody else says." rnd immediately the silence became oppressive. Chicago News. Btrenuoua Service. The parson had Just delivered a fiery sei mon on the evils of rum. One of the members was seen to be wrig gling uneasily In his pew. "Heboid!" cried the excited parson. One of my shafts has struck the right mnn. ' See how uneasy our way ward brother Is." "Y'es," x retorted the accused man; "you'd be uuensy, too, If you had a June bug down your back." Helpful Little Wife. 'Henry," greeted the little blue-eyed woman, "do you remember of saylui; vou were colnc to color rour meer schaum brown?" Yes, dear," replied her big hus band. Well. I knew you wero busr. so I colored It." "You? How did you color It, pray?" "Why, I painted It, of course." Quick ut LunKllaice. Mrs. Hllnker My Tommy has begun to study French. Mrs. White Has he, Indeed? Mrs. Hllnker Y'es; nnd I know he'll lenru tho language In no time. I Judge, you see, by the rapidity with which ho acquired tho slang dialect of tho street boys. lloston Transcript God's Country. Do you know where God's country Is located? When wo were out In the Territories enduring hardships and pri vations, we used to talk of "back In the States" as "God's country." The early pioneers of the West looked to ward the Atlantic seaboard and tho country along the Ohio and think of God's country." Iow tho poor devils who nro compelled to remain for a tlmo In the Phlllpplno Islands know that any part of the United States Is 'God's country." Nearly all of them upon returning to American shores re mark: "It Is good to bo buck In God's country once more." It Is not likely that Alaska Is Included In tho good land, for men returning from tho blgl Territory of the Arctic clrclo upon landing at Tacoma declare they are ngaln In "God's country." Hut slnco our colonial acquisitions, the sobriquet Gods country ' Is fast becoming rec ognized as meaning tbo United States. Kind words are never lost unless a woman puts them In a letter and gives It to her husband to mall. "8AQE OF WHITEHALL." Oanerat Caaalna M. Clnj, NnUil Kan tneklani Who la Ileait, Death came to General Cnsslus Mnr ccllus Clay, warrior, statesman, aboli tionist, author, and noted duelist, nt Ida home, Whllo Hall, In Madison County, Kentucky. Ills uemlao was due to general ex bnuatlon. The stirring life which Oenernl Clay led had begun to tell on him lu late years. He believed that a conspiracy to assassinate him had been formed nnd omo years ago fortified his home at White Hall and entered n life of exclusion that ended only a few weeks ago. One of the final scenes In the life of this remarkable man was enacted In n courtroom at Richmond, Ky when he was declared Insane. A week pre viously Dora Richardson Ilrock, the di vorced child wife of the aged Kcn tucklnn, hnd declared her Intention of going on the stage. It Is alleged Gen eral Clay had been lnsnne for several yearn, nnd his mad love for a 10-year-Dld girl, who wan 1.1 when sho mar tied him, Is held to have been largely responsible for his condition. At the time of the strange marriage General Clay was 00 and Dora Rich ardson was 13. He was cultured, n man of repute In the affairs of the na tion, the scion of a famous family, and the possessor of wealth. She was Illiterate, untutored In the ways of the world, content amid her lowly sur roundings. General Clay treated his wife as a WHITE HALL, HOME child and sought to amuse ber and make ber happy. lie bought her dolls, picture books, toy furniture, and the many other things which have been made to amuse children. Finally the old man purchased his young wife a doll about twenty Inches long and fill ed with mechanical contrivances that caused It to talk and cry and laugh. The general's attempt to educate his wife were futile. She read a little and wrote a little, but she had no taste for books and art. After a few months the ran nway to the home of her brother, where she received the attcn Hons of a farmer boy. General Clay divorced her, and she married the young man, whoso name was Ittley GENERAL CASSICS U. CLAY. Brock. Afterward Ilrock was killed by a train, and the love of the aged sol dlcr and diplomat for the young coun try girl then sprang to life again, and he sought to have her return to White- ball as his wife In as ardent a fashion as when she first left him to go back to her brother's humble shack In tho woods. Ills children Interfered, however, nnd prevented the .reconciliation. Dy the proceedings In thq Insane court they blocked his plan to leave his whole estate to Dora Richardson. He was confined to bis home with a nurse and guards. STEALING SERVANT GIRLS. The Desperate Btralte to Which Somi Houaekeepera Have Come. A new phase of the everlasting serv ant girl question hat recently come to light tho hiring of servants by wo men going actually to other persons' houses and offering girls higher wages. This prevails to an alarming extent In nearly all the large cities. A woman who will do this well, she will do other things of which strong language could be used, and yet these women are to be found among the best people that Is, It should be added that they live on the best streets In town, but a woman who will hire nway her friends' servants cannot be strictly said to be entitled to any po sition. This happens every day and can be accounted for to a certain ex tent by the scarcity of servants, nnd the desperation of housekeepers, who will resort to almost any means to ob tain them. Not so long ago something of this kind happened to a Chicago woman, and In recounting the affair to a friend she said she felt a pardonable degree of pride for the manner tn which the handled tho matter. This woman lives tn a flat and had just hired a general housework servant. About two cny afterward the bell rang, and when Annie, at wt will call her, went to the door she noticed that tho girl went out and dosed tho door and stood talking to some on In tlio hull. So the mistress of tho house sus pected something and went to tho door nnd opened It, There stood a woihoti whom she knew by tight, hut had nev er met, nnd she was evidently endoav orlng to hire nwny Annie, for tho girt wnt very red In the face and the wo man was very whlto when the door opened. This conversation rimicd: Mistress of the Homo Whom did you come to see? Visitor I came to see Annie; the In a friend of mine. Mistress of tho House Annie, It tilts woman a friend of yours? Annie (feebly) Ycs'm, she In. Mistress of the House Well, Annie, Invite your friend Into the kitchen to tit down. Dead silence! And presently tho woman departed, nnd when tho mis tress of tho house Interviewed Annlo she found she hnd never seen the wo man before In her life, hut did not llko to betray tho fact when the called her a friend. This was such n remarkable state of affairs to the housekeeper In question that she was quite paralyzed, and still more so when she found out further that the woman offered Annie fS mora a month to come to her. Once In a while this woman gos to a ten and meets the woman who tried to get Annie nway from ber, and they glare at (Mich other and pass on, but the woman who was guilty forgets !::r part of It, and only remembers that she was Invited to sit down In tbo oth er woman's kitchen. Chicago paper. OY8TER SHELL "CULM HEAP " Oreat Flanks Find Iteadr Bala tor Rar er 1 Pnrpoaea. The average clltzen may not know that oysters are planted, cultivated and harvested like any other crop, says the Philadelphia North American, OF GENERAL CLAY. a person who engages In the Industry being known as an oyster planter. Thousands of acres of oysters are un der cultivation In Hampton Roads, which, during the harvesting season. Is often literally alive with the reaping machines of the oystermen. When the oysters are from ono and, a half to two years old they are usu ally large enough to be sold, and, a a rule, part of them are sold at tbla age and the rest In the third or fourth, year, after which time the ground la allowed to rest a year before bcmgi planted again. Great care mutt ba exercised In the selection of bottoms) for oyster planting. If the planter) would be financially successful. The largest packer In Hampton opens from 100,000 to 200,000 bushels of oysters In a year. In this bouse, as the men open the oysters, they drop) the shells on an Inclined plane, from) which they slide into a trough and ara carried along by scrapers attached to an endless chain called a "shell con veyor," which takes them without further labor to the shell pile In the yard. When a shucker has filled his gallon measure he carries It to iho strainer, where the oysters are strain ed and measured. They are then emp tied Into large casks kept full of fresh water, by means of which any looso shell or grit Is washed out. From these casks the oysters are dipped Into a second strainer, and when separated from the water are again measured and packed. The shells are sold for from 1 to 3 cents a bushel, and are used extensive ly by oyater planters for the propaga tion of oysters. They are placed In small piles on grounds found sultablu for the purpose, where tho spat or small oyster will attach Itself to tba shells. They are also used for making shell lime and for building the excel lent shell roads found In some parts of the Virginia penlsula. MARRIED A TAMOUS LAWYER. MRS. CtARESCK 8. DAB ROW. Sho was Iluby Hamerstrom, of Bti Louis, and a writer of some note. Mn Darrow, a lawyer, of Chicago, repre sented tho United Mlneworkers In tho arbitration proceedings which settled, the great coal strike. The couple will spend a year In Europe. A Telltale ISnvelope. A genius bat Invented an enveloos which records of Itself any attempt to tamper with Its contents. Tho flap. Is Imbued with some chemical com position which, when operated on by a dampening process, or any other means of penetrating to Its enclosure, records the transaction by causlng- tho words "Attempt to open" to ap pear. It It thought that tho Inqultl- tlvo will think twlco before purtulng their researches In the ftoa of such an Invention.