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About Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907 | View Entire Issue (July 24, 1903)
After Irii dsys' visit o Mm. Clayton,
Winifred mi auinmoiied Ji n m r.
"I would gladly let you remain longer,"
wrote I. ail (Irnre, "hut you remember,
my -leor. (hat our original plan m in
learn for London mi I hi' i!Nlli, mnl Hlr
Clayton nerer Ultra lilt plana IntrrfermJ
On Hi Unili of April Winifred rrturn
ril to l.'udoii Vale, rrry sorry lo leave
her friend, lint wltli almoat sen uf
rellrf at brine frerd from the obnoxious
society of .Mr. Clayton. Urcryona wrl-i-omrd
lirr wltli oprn nrina; (Iik house hail
nut arrnird tlii mine w 1 1 limit lirr It Isrk
ril tin auulilui, aa Ilia oM French lady
On the day appointed Hlr Clayton and
I.ady (Irac Farquhar and Ml Hyro
arrlrrd at I In I on Hiuaro and rf duly
nnnoiinrrd In the faahlonnbl chronicles.
A now llfn suddenly opened on tha girl
who had spent all lirr young yrara la
audi quirt, not to aay inotoiiony. Hint
found It rrry pleasant, although not al
together what it had Urn lu lirr drrauia
two yrara Li'forr,
lirr drliut was to takr place nt III"
Jiotian of Mini Dnnglaa, lird Harold
Ervklnn's aunt, a lady occupying a rrry
-decided position In llir fashionable world,
ml tlm cntrro to whose rutrrlalnmeula
wss rrry Krnrrnlly doalrrd. I.ady (Irarn
waa atiitou that hrr protege ahould look
When Wlnlfrrd appeared, drraacd, on
tha night n( thn hall, I.ady (I men had
no rraion to regret hating allownl lirr
to eierrlae hrr own tnlr. Iltrr drraa waa
of a marrrloua whltrnraa and aofturaa,
almoat Ilka nnw rlouda, and hrrr ami
Iheraorrr It wrrr I h r aJftrat whlio frath
rra, that might ham brrn llakra of fallen
Very lata In thr errnlng Mr. Hailing
apprared. Aa lin rntrred thn ballroom b
caught algbt of Winifred talking In a
vary anlmatrd manner to lord Harold
In an lutrrval of waltilng, lit atood and
watched her Intently; until to-night ho
had nrrer thought her hrautlful. Hr had
lorrd her for her gram, for her pride,
for her Innocence: hut aa ah lookrd and
ainllod now, bo frit lie had a grratrr
claim In grnrral admiration than be had
rrrr drramrd of.
"And aha might harr brrn my wlfa
now," hr thought. "How I ahould barn
lorrd hrr how proud I ahoiibl burr bctn
of lirr! I wondrr If alir trally carta far
that frllow Eraklnr?"
At thla tnomrnt a Tolce aald rloar to
hla rar, aa though lbs apraker bad di
vined Ida thotlghta:
"Will It bo a match, do you think?"
Ha turnrd with an angry atari, and
rnrt tha mocking gate of Flora Cham
pion. "You mean (Iray and Mlaa Wrnt
worth? I think It very probable," Mr.
Haatlnga anawrrrd, curtly.
"Oh, no, that la beyond a doubt. I
meant Iurd Harold Eraklne and and hla
"I cannot form th allghteat aurmlar.
Vour coualn" and he apok the word
pointedly "your coualn la very beautiful,
and may rrrn do better."
"I'erhapa be chosen by thr deacendant
of all Ihe Haatlnga?" aha aakrd, with
a scornful laugh.
"Your prurtratlon arrma unuaunlly at
fault to-night, Mlaa Champion," hr rr
tiimril, coldly; "but pardon mr. thr dance
la over, I am going to arrk a partner
for thr nrxt; your card In full, 1 am;"
and hr moved off before l-'lora had lime
to Intimate hrr wllllngnraa to exchange,
lila name on hrr program with that of a
less rliglblv aaplrant. Hho bit hrr Hp
nngrfly aa alio aaw blm croaa straight
-orrr to when hrr coualn atood. nut! brnd
to apeak with bur. She could not but
Trninrk th lender defrrrnco of hla bear
ing toward thr country girl whom aba de
spised, and whom ahe well mnrmbcrrd
Ignoring to blm aa only a formrr'a ilaugh
Irr. Hbe turned to thr quirt, mlddlc-agi'd
wan on whose arm ahr leaurd, and began
In talk lo blm with aomo of her old
brlghtuea mid vivacity. He llatrncd
with admlrlnK attention, but bad very
llttlr to any In reply. Mora felt Inn
"Thla man la a dolt!" ahe aald to hrr-
srlf. angrily; "thr Idea even of all hi
money acarcely reroncllca me In the hor
Tlhlo tedium of apcndlng ao much time
In hi company."
Mr. Maxwell wai an ezceaalvrly lin
Intereatlng, rich bachelor of two-mid
forty. II gnvo one an Impreaalon of
wrakneaa and yielding that mado It a
matter of aurprlae be bad brrn allowed
to' remain ao long In the unblessed cstato
of hnrbelorhood. lie had met Flora
-Champion aercral tlmea and hud admired
"1 lo la rich," alio aald to herself; "ho la
aa weak na water, and bo la greedy
thrro admirable qualities for a husband
whom you do not want to enre about!
Why ahould I not mnrry him?"
Meanwhile Mr. Hustings haa crossed
over to whero Winifred was atnndlng,
-engaged In laughing couveraatlon with
l.urd Harold, n bright smile on hrr Up
nml apparently very happy. Hho did not
seu Errol until ho came up to her, and
then aho atopped In a aentence and chang
ed color, Hho felt a quick thrill of pleas
ure when alio law hi handaonia fuco
brnt on her with gcnulna admiration.
Homo audden thought of forgetting hrr
prldo and yielding to her love canto surg
'Ing Into her brain; and then her aecond,
now, unnatural aelf rebelled, and aho
.greeted him with a cold. Indifferent amllo.
"You will danca with me, Winifred?"
jlie, wlilapered, aa Lord Harold turned to
apeak to aomeouo behind him.
"I am engaged for every dance, thank
"May I come and call In ICaton
"I dare aay Lady Grace will be pleas
d to aeo you."
"It la my duty to bo pleaaed to ace any
and all of I.ady Faniuhar's gucata,"
"You ore not natural, Mlaa Kyre you
aro atrangely nltercd from tho genoroua,
!lurgo-hrarted, true Winifred I knew two
"la It well for Ignorant country girls
no bo trustful? ' aho aaked, with u quick
'coni, "If they nro gencroua, do they
nlwnya meet with like generoalty from
thoao whoao mlnda aro more enlarged,
-or ahould be, from their birth and tu-
"U your enmity to be lifelong, then?"
"No doubt It will wear out In time, as
very other feeling does," wai the quick
A Mr. Hastings walked awny, ho nsfc
ed hlmaolf how It waa possible that n
man whose Inherent fault wna Intense
yrldo could voluntarily expose himself to
Mas. fo nit asm it.
tlio allghta and Indlffrrcnre of a youu
"I wonder how It a that I atlll can. for
hrr? Klin senna to harr lout all that
made mr lorn hrr whrn I tlrat knew lirr,
What a fool I anil I will not think any
mori' of hrr!"
And ho Irft thr room nml tint houae,
and wrul off to an rntrrtalnuirnt where
a ronaldrrahly grratrr drgrrr of frrrdom
rrlgnnl than at t fin nianalnn of atatrly
Mia Douglaa, and whrru ha wn aura of
an rnthtislaatic welcome.
With thn rliarmlng InronaUtrnry of th
ari, Wlnlfrril waa trrrlhly chagrined on
ularorerlng that h waa really gone.
"Ho la illaguatrd with 1111- lie will not
hear my unworthy treatment of him long
rr," aha Ihouglit, bitterly. "I luro lilm
with all my hrart, and I hare loat him!
Tim wrrka rolled on and the London
canon waa at Ha bright. Drawing rooms,
rourrrta, balls, oprraa, frtra champetrea,
llowrr ahowa and gardrli pur Ilea wrnt on
aa usual to makn up thr sum of the gay
world plrasurra and dlaappolntiiirnta,
Mra. Clayton oar of many, perhapa ha
brrn Iradlug a life of lllful, frvrrlah hap
plneaa for the last month. Kliu did not
dare to think a pauan of rrlroapei-tlo
would rlther send her headlong don tin
prrrlplre that was yawning at her fret
or ninko hrr lly from It altogether. And
yet ahe waa ao uniiardonnbly wrak th
abn braltatrd and roiild not bring lirrarlf
to break off all Intrrcourar with lol,
Aa if to draw Ihe last plan'c of safety
away from hla wife. .Mr. Olayton treated
her dally worae. II left Irttrra In he
way that could not all to mortify hrr.
If tbry wrnt out tngrthrr hr made a polo
of keeping her waiting, lie nrrer open
ed hla llpa to apeak to her unleaa be wa
positively obliged, and then hla worda
were aneera and Iannis. He paid othr
womrn tho moat estraragant compll
mrnta and attention, la abort, but for
Col. d Agullar a prrarnrr and sympathy
I'ee'a life would hare brrn unendurable,
They met constantly.
One of the enlertalnmenta that waa In
tended to rank among the Ural of tb
araaon, waa a gardrn party given by the
Honorable Mra. Vivian I.ynrdon at her
tirautlful rllla on the banks of the rlrrr.
No riprnsr was to be apurrd; amuse,
mrnt of erery Imaginable kind was to ha
provided; and tb wholr was to end in a
display of such costly lirrworks as were
rarely seen, and a dance. Mr. and Mrs,
Clayton were lurltrd. At the last mo
ment hr declined to go, ami hla wife wru
without him. Hr did not attempt lo pre-
rrnt lirr. Col. d Agullar waa to ha there,
"I will not apoll tbr aport," be aald to
blmarlf, with a smile that would hare be
All her friruds wrre thrrr, all but onr.
at Iraet, and at first It waa with a aeuse
of relief that she mlsard him. Hut hour
aftrr hour wore on, and thrrr waa no sign
of Col. d Agullar. First ahr frit rrstlra
Ihrn a little Impatient, tbeu angry, nnd
then ahe could havr cried for tho bitter
ness of the disappointment. It was four
ds) a slncr ahe had seen blm, and thru he
told hrr distinctly that he Intended to be
Tre sat down wearily on thr dge of
one of the aeats. Huddrnly shr beard
volrr pronouuee her name, and a quick
thrill of pleosurr went lo her hrart. He
bad ciime at laatl , Hho forgot her anger,
her Impatience, and Ihe nrury hours she
had spent waiting for him. and lookrd up
with a glad smile.
"At last!" sbo said. "I had given you
up long ago. I am ao tired of all this,"
she adaVd, In a whisper; "let us walk
And then she perceived that bo was
"Then It Is true, what some one told
me, that you have aprulned your ankle?"
she uttered hastily. " I hat kept you away
ami it uurts you to walk.
"Not at all," bo answered: "it Is notn
Ing. That did not keep me away."
"What, then?" Kee naked, quickly.
Col. d'Aguilar waa silent.
"What kept you away?" ahe repeated.
"I do uot think I can tell you, Mra,
"Do tell me," ahe whispered, pressing
hla arm ever ao allgbtly.
"I tried very hard to make a sacrlOce,"
he answered slowly, "and I failed,"
"The aacrltlce of my bcart'a dealre to
I-'ee trembled and waa silent.
"Hee!" ahe Bald, "the fireworks aro be
ginning," and at that moment n blaze of
light shot forth Into the skies und seemed
to illumine the wholo garden and river.
There waa a rustic garden bench standing
lu n nlcho of arbutus and laurel.
"Let us alt down." Mrs. Clayton said.
"I know your foot pains you.
"I waa so dlanppolutcd when you did
not come," lYo said presently. "I had
Just made up my mlud to send for the
carriage und go homo. I camo alone, you
"Alone? I thought Mr. Clayton was
to bo hero?
"He would not come. I think ho would
do anything rather than spend an hour In
my company, she added bitterly. I can
not go on living tiko tuts," sno broke out
presently. "My life Is a torment to me.
You told me ouco 1 ahould be miserable
If I married him are you glad your
worda have come true?"
"Mrs. Clayton, what do you take roe
for?" he cried, moved to paaslon. "I
glad glad that you, whom I love wllh
heart, aoul and strength, are tied to a
brute who makes your life a pandemo
nium upon earth slad that you are part
ed hopeleaaly from me, and that I cannot
lawfully atlr n linger to help you when I
am ready to lay down my life for you"
"b orglve mel" Fee aa d. nulcklr: "I did
not mean It. I feel so bitter so mad
sometimes I scarcely know what I aay."
"Mrs. Clayton." ho answered hoarsely.
"you must not say theso thlugs to me.
My blood Is on 11 ro at your wrongs and
your misery. You forget how baily, how
hopelessly I lovo youl"
' I weighed your love In the balance
with Mr, Clayton's mnncv once." she
said slowly, "and my choice has broken
my heart. -I am twenty. I havo no hope
In tho world," and an agonized sigh broke
from her, "I know that after to-night 1
dare not are you nny more If I had been
good or wlso enough to remember my
duty, and keep from apeaklng of my mis
ery to you, wo might havo gone on meet
iug'as we have dono. To-night we shall
"Do not any that, Mrs, Claytou, How
can I lenvo you to that mnn's brutality?"
"How can you protect mo from It?"
she asked sadly.
Hn rose to hla feet suddenly and atood
before hrr aa pain as death.
"Will you never bn convinced," ha
aald, paatloiKtrly, "that my lorn for you
la beyond self-seeking, hdyoml doubt?
If you will It ao. I will never an-k you
again oftrr to-night. "
"I think I am not well to-night 1 am
over-tlrrd," aha said, recovering herself:
"ir you will have my carriage arnt for,
will ro home."
H wrnt at one and did not return te
her until it waa ready: then he gave hrr
hla arm and led hrr away without
olhrr word. Hhr nrrrr lookrd st him
as hn put her Into hrr rsrrlag. and wish-
rd hrr a grave good-nlghl; but whrn th
door waa cloard, and the had paaar
through tho galea, ah threw herself bar!
Ill a corner and subbed such trsrs ss ahe
had never wept from thr hour she ws
born until now. There wrre lights
the dining room when she returned, sn
she would havr entered it, but thn foot'
man atood In tho way with a frlghtrnrd
"Not In thrre, If von plraar, ma'am
muster dlnnl at home, and haa a party of
At that moment there was a clinking nl
glassra, and a sound of laughter,
which a shrill peal of a woman's voice
was dlatlnrtly audible.
Mra. Clayton atood for a momrnt aa If
turnrd to atone; then ahe wrnt upstalra
without a won). It was rvldrnt she ha
not been e pee ted home so early.
Hho was too stiiprlied to think. It seem
ed as If some bravy blow hail fatlrn on
hrr, and she acarcely rrallttd It or knew
what It was. Hrr mind was exhaoatrd,
ami she slept heavily. Thr nrst day whrn
sbn rodo lu the park, as usual, rvery ons
"How terribly III Mrs. Clayfon looka
Hho should not go mil so much, or ah
will be drad before thn end of the aca
"Dear Tee," aall Winifred, riding up,
"what alls you you look worn out?"
"I think yesterday was too much for
mr," Mrs. Clayton onswrrnl. "Slop my
horar. Winifred!" and .Mra. Clayton
seemed for a momrnt to rrrl In hrr aad
die. Winifred raught ths bridle, and
atonprd hrr own horse.
"Oh. Lord Harold!" shr crlrd anddrnly
lo the grntlrman who rode beside her,
"go lo the other side of Kee, and hold
her up: ahr la fainting.
In a moment he had bis arm round her,
and had lifted her Into th saddle, from
which ahr had partly slipped. Mra. Clay
ton recoverrd berarlf almoat Imnirdlatrly,
"Thank you." ahe aald, with a ghaatly
atlrmpt at a smile; "a auddrn glddineaa,
Takr me homr. Winifred, will you
Mrs. Clayton remained th whole day
on the aofa, scarcely speaking. Winifred
would not leave her for a moment. She
bathrd her forehead, and watched an
soothed her when ahe turned on her aid
'It la my head, my head, ahr mur-
m u red now aud again. "I think I am go-
And then Winifred thought It time t
end for n physician.
"It la a nervous attack." be snld, whrn
he had seen her: "the brain aerms to bar
brrn overexcited. In a day or two Mra.
Clailon will be quite herself ogaln,
(To hr ronlinueil.l
A DISAPPEARING STHEAM.
Dry fork of Ashler Creak, la
Srrthwe tern I tsh.
Home curious revelations are being
inutlo by tho United States geological
A recent report from C. T. Trail, ope
of tbo hydrographera of the surrey, ha
reported the existence of a stream
whose water. In the summer season.
entirely vanishes nildwny In Its course,
The river Is kuown na tne Dry i-oric,
stimll stream In northwestern Utab,
tributary to Ashley creek. About four
n miles from Its source In the Uinta
mountain this stream reaches a largo
linsln or sink, whose walls are from
75 lo 100 feet high, except on the up
stream hUIc. The pool Is apparently bob
tomlc.is. nnd the water In It revolves
with a slow, circular motion, caused
either by the Incomlnc waters or by
suction from below, or both. The only
risible outlet to this pool Is n narrow
rock channel, from which a little water
flows, but Is soon lost to sight a few
hundred yards below. A measurement
of the main stream Just nbove Ihe pool
showed n volume of HQ cubic feet of
water passing each aecond. but this en
tire flow disappears In the basin, and
tho stream bed for miles below Is per
fectly dry. About seven miles below
this interesting pool were found several
springs, one of tbem In a large bole
twenty-live ft In diameter and twenty
feet deep, which at times are empty
and again Oiled with water. It It
thought that the water which dlsap
pears lu tbo upper pool flows under
ground deep below In the gravels which
form the bed of tho stream, and In
times of rainfall heavier than usual
appears nguln In part in tne large
springs below. Atlanta Constitution.
War Mado liy Itule.
An otllcer now In England semis the
following story from South Africa, for
ho accuracy of which he vouches:
A brigade hud liorn marching with
enrcoly nny food nor nearly twenty-
four hours continuously. When It halt
ed nnd rations were served out and the
conking bud commenced one regiment
was nsked by tho brigade major to ex
tinguish Us II res, ns 'they were not In
lino with those of the regiment ou Its
right.' Tbo C. O. of the regiment In
ilueMlou remonstrated ns strongly ns
possible, pointing out that If the tires
were put out there would bo neither
time uor fuel (tho latter was very
scarce and limited In quantity) to get
tho cooking finished before tho troops
had to march off. Hut In splto of all ho
could say the brlgado major insisted,
the llres wcro pnt out, and before ths
tea could be boiled and the meat cook
ed tho regiment had to march, the men
having had uo food."
It would appear from this, says the
London Truth, ns If tho process of edu
cating onr olllcers In tho field staff of-
fleers nt any rate was still proceeding
only slowly. Tito Incident Is of the mora
Interest since tho brigade major con
cerned Is n professor In one of our mili
tary schools. If tho war olllco would
llko his iinmn wo shall bo pleased to
glvo It them of ce-urse, (it confidence.
Tlio Casual Obsorver.
This old world has some curious ways,
You watch with eager eye,
ml don't know If you ought to laugh
Or If you ought to cry.
Tlio creation of tho Nicaragua Cana
111 cut off 10,000 miles from tho voy.
ngo from Now York to San Francisco.
Men seldom leave
behind both lu.
quest aud bequest.
LET US ALL LAUGH.
JOKES FROM THE PEH8 OP
I'lsaaant Incident Occurring the
World Uvsr-Haylnsja that Are Chr
fill to Old r Youns-Vnany Itatae
II. aa that Xaa Will K.J07.
"I've refused Oi-orge twice," she aald,
"but Ifs no uso,"
"Not a bit. He believes In predes
"What haa (bat to do wllh It?"
"Why, he thinks I'm predestined to
be his wife, and of course, If that la
bo, I'll simply have to give In, no
matter what papa says. He can't ex
pect me to defy fate,"
Pay t)r In sla-ht.
Miles Hhortun married an heiress
last week and he declares she Is all
th world to him.
(Jlles So he's getting ready to col
lect the debt, eh?
Miles What debt?
Olios Why, the on hi wife owes
him. I heard him say one time that
the world owed him a living.
Orowlcr III! III! Carn't ycr look
out wher' ycr n-comln'?
Omnibus Garn! Shut up, Jack-In-
Hint of the Pllorle Trna.
A story Is told of a New England
minister who often speaks In behalf of
a charity lu which he Is Interested. At
the close of one meeting at which be
had spoken with great effect and a
large gain for tbo charity had been the
direct result a little old woman ap
proached tbo minister. "Oh," she said
earnestly, "I've been so Interested In
bearing about those poor dear chil
dren! And I suppose a great many of
those stories you told are really true,
A Pajlnir Investment.
"Was It worth while to send your
four daughters to that fashionable
Sure. One eloped while she wa
there and the others came home en
gaged." New York, Times.
Mill Tnka III Tnrn.
Enraged Header I have come In to
horsewhip the editor.
Office Boy You'll have to wait, sir
there are two others ahead of you.
How Kb Cured Him.
Mother You say your husband no
longer spends his evenings at the club?
Daughter I soon broke him of that.
"How did you manage?"
"Before going to bed I put two easy
chairs close together by the parlor Are,
and then held a match to a cigar until
the room got a faint odor of smoke?-
New York Weekly.
Why Not, Indead?
N. Ane Willie, I forgot to wind my
watch this morning. Will you bring
It down to me?
Willie Why don't yon let it 1
down? New York Sun.
Orowlnir Lllca a Weed.
"Why, Tommy, how you do growl"
"Yea, Auntie. I think they water me
too much. 'Why, I'm bathed night and
Facta and Fancies.
Does It cost much to live In the
city?" asked the rural youth.
'About the same as It costs to live
In the country," replied the village
sage, "but It costs like fury to keep up
"Shall I administer gas before ex
tracting your tooth?" asked the den
tist. Well," answered the fair patient
from a back township, "If It doesn't
cost any more I'd rather you'd give
me electric light."
No Troubt In Ilouse-lTantlnar.
Hicks I understand that you and
Jenkins have both found desirable new
Wicks Yes, Jenkins moved Into my
flat and I moved Into his. Somenrllle
Told tha Truth,
Edytu Aunt Margaret used to say
she wouldn't marry the best man on
Maymc And did she keep her word?
Edyth Yes; but she got married Just
Can and ltfftct.
Women evidently have no sense of
humor," remarked tho bald-headed
Why do you think thusly?" asked
the youth with tho Ingrowing mus
tache. "If they had," replied the philosophy
dispenser, "they would never get past
tho love, honor and obey part of the
marriage ceremony without an audible
Mllralnn Notion of BtralNsrnm.
An officer once asked an Irishman If
he knew what a stratagem was. "Yes,
of course I do." "Then," said tho
officer, "plrase explain one to me." fat
I (after five minutes' pause): "Supposo
I you were firing at the enemy nnd you
run short of ammunition and you don't
want (be enemy to know, why all you
havo to do Is to keep on firing."
"And this," exclaimed the traveler
from the old world, emerging from his
atate room and gailng dreamily at tho
shore line ahead of him, "Is free Amer
"No," aald the bored looking passen
ger In the ateamer chair. "That Is
New York City."
Mads a Mlst.k.
"You don't mean to say, doctor, that
you can tell people's ages by tbelr
troth, the same as If they were horses,
Which explain why this particular
patient never went again to that par
"I say," aald the roan who has to
board out, "I've found the Ideal place
"What Is tb advantage?" asked the
man who has married.
"The neatness of the place. T-be
landlady keeps all the left-over crusts
separate ana labeled, so that each man
gets his own bread back In the bread
pudding." Iondon Tlt-Blts.
Rhe Was a Treasure
Towne That was a brave act of Urban'--rushing
Into the water to save
a woman from drowning.
Suburb Brave fiddlesticks! It was
merely an act of selfishness on his
Towne Why, how can you say that?
Suburb Tho woman he rescued was
a cook that had been with blm for six
mouths. Chicago News.
How He Iropod
Jilts Charmer How did Fred pro
pose? Mis Mllynn He said he didn't
know what he would do unless be got
some money light away. Baltimore
A Bllarht Tllffarence.
naggard Ixwklng Room Hunter
Little girl, does your mamma keep
Honest Little Girl No. sir; she takes
boarders, but she don't keep 'em.
New York Herald.
She Yes, papa la suffering terribly
from gout he can hardly more his
He Bah Jove, Miss Qoldle, some
thing seems to tell me to speak to htm
about our engagement to-day Bah
Aa to tbe r'quallop.
"It's a shame the way those Sqnal-
lop children are growing up, without
any parental restraint whatever."
"Yes; when their mother Joined the
woman's literary society and began at
tending all tbe meetings Mr. Squallop
got sort of reckless aud Joined a don't
worry club." Chicago Tribune.
A Human Clod.
Tess Some men are awfully slow,
Jess Y'es, and they're so aggrava
ting. There was one sat alongside of
me coming down in the car this morn
ing. Tess You wern't tTylng to flirt with
Jess Gracious'! no; but he was read
ing a novel, and be was never ready to
turn the page when I was. Philadel
Giles Robinson Crusoe must have
been a queer sort of chap.
Miles Because Why?
Giles Because It was Friday every
day In the week with him.
Meeker There's crape 011 the door
over the way. Old man Jones must be
Mrs. Meeker I haven't seen the doc
tor there for over a week.
'A souvenir," said tho thoughtful
man, thoughtfully, "Is something that
wo consider to be worth a whole lot
more than Its value." Chicago Even
Neither Hptnster Nor Old Maid.
"She's a spinster, Isn't she?"
"Certainly not. Why, she'd have
fit If you called her a spinster."
"When was she married, then?"
"She isn't married."
"Then she must be a spinster."
"Not at all. She keeps house with
two other girls In a cosy little flat."
"What difference does that make?"
"Well, of course, It's possible for a
girl to be a bachelor maid without
that, but It's that that makes it abso
lutely certain. You never heard of
spinsters doing anything like that."
Then a bachelor maid Isn't a spins
Oh, at the present time she may
be one technically, for there's been
hardly time to change the dictionary;
but she doesn't admit It."
Suppose the public refused to ac
cept her chosen designation and In
slstd upon calling her spinster and
later old maid what then?"
Why, why, then, I suppose she
would marry almost the first man who
came along. Bachelor maid Is so de
lightfully up-to-date and spinster Is
so frightfully old-fashioned."
i SUMMER DAY i
was unquestionably a hot day,
Perhaps If Ilurnham had known
that the next morning's papers
would send It down Into history aa the
hottest day In years he would have
remained In the comparatively cool
solitude of his mother's dining-room
for the sake of bis reputation. As It
was be found the uptown streets In
1 state of desertion which made him
wonder Irritably If the city had retired
for a siesta.
Ilurnham thought regretfully of a
certain dusky corner under a Persian
canopy where there were many pil
lows and much lemonade, and, Inci
dentally, a girl's face, cool and sweet
above the fan she held. Yesterday
the face had been so temptingly near
too near. And to-day It was so
He acknowledged to himself the
shameful motive of bis pilgrimage.
He had come he had seen the house
which had been open to blm ycerterday
to-day closed to him forever. And the
face in the dusky corner suppose she
wer, looking at him now from behind
the heavy curtains. The wonderful
eyes, hiding tbelr merciless laughter
under tbelr drooping lashesl Burn
ham lifted his gloomy young face
haughtily and looked severely at tbe
house across tbe way.
But be did not pass on. Instead,
be stopped with a whistle of surprise
as what he might have taken for a
broken parcel of laundry on tbe stone
steps resolved lUelf Into a little lady
with penwiper skirts and exceedingly
long black legs, who shot up from
ber coll and shook a mop of moist
and disheveled hair away from a
tear disfigured face.
"Why, Topsyl" exclaimed Bum
ham amazedly. It was Impossible to
go on and leave Topsy crying on tbe
hot steps. He dropped on one knee
beside ber and tilted up the little face.
"Why, what's the matter, dear?"
"Well" tbe tears came flooding
back into the blue eyes "Aunt Dale
wouldn't take me to the park, and I
wanted to see the new polar bear.
They say he Just sits round on Ice all
the time and then they're scared
Topsy's curls whipped Into Burn
ham's eyes smartly as she burled her
agitated countenance In his freshly
starched bosom and walled.
"Oh, hush, Topsy, dear! Do, for
heaven's sake bush!" Burnham
looked anxiously toward the bouse,
whence at any moment Topsy's howls
of newly stirred Injury might fetch
Topsy's mamma, who would Invite
him In. or ToDsy's aunt who
1 wouldn't look at blm.
"See here! Btop crying! Listen!
Is that your sunbonnet on the walk?
Well" desperately "put It on quick.
and we'll go to see the polar bearl"
Topsy's piercing shout of rapture
was more dangerous than her weep
ing, and Burnham hurried her off
down the street comforting himself
with tbe reflection that all children
were more or less salamanders, and
that they would take the first carriage
tney rouna stirring.
Don't you think Aunt Dale's hor
rid? demanded Topsy, revengefully,
as she clasped Burnham's hand
molstly and affectionately, and trot
ted beside blm in soiled contentment
Oh, I don't know," be answered
hesitatingly. "It's a pretty strong
word but I guess It's satisfactory,"
ne auaea ungatiantiy.
Did ahe promise to take yon to the
"Well, no-o," said Topsy, honestly.
Not exactly. But I thought she
would, and when I went to her to
dayand It's such a nice, sunshiny
day" (as If the previous twenty -eight
days or August bad passed In Arctic
gloom) "sheshe told me to go away
and not bother her. And and next
time I asked ber to com she shook
Don't cry now, young un," Burn
ham Implored. "I didn't cry when aha
Topsy stared at blm with Terr round
eyes from the depths of a limp sun-
bonnet "When did she ever shake
you 1 sne asKea, wmspenngly, sur
veying her stalwart friend with awe.
Yesterday," said Burnham, gloom
Did It make you feel bad?" Tha
clear child eyes bad seen the pain
unaer tne smile.
"Yes, I'm afraid It did."
Topsy slipped her other hand Into
Burnham's, hopping along beside blm
like a comforting little bird.
i-m awiut Borry," sue said, ear
nestly; and then, after a pause; "Was
Aunt Dale crying yesterday when she
was mean to you?"
No," said Burnham, grimly; "she
wasn't I think she laughed."
That's funny. To-day she was
crying. She said It was so hot It
made her head ache. But I think she
was Just crying because there was
so much naughty in her. I do some
times and they lick me,"- said Topsy,
evidently pondering on the Injustice
Burnham's clasp tightened on the
"Was she crying much?" he asked,
"You bet she was. Mamma's green
pillow was all wet And the picture
she was looking at was all over
"What what picture was It, Top
sy?" Burnham saw tbe long, de
serted street In a blur of yellow.
I dunno, answered Topsy, care
lessly, "He was horrid ugly, like a
poodle, with a big Y on the front
of htm. Bay, do you think tbe polar
bear might die while wo look at him?"
"I don't know," said Burnham, ab
sently, In his turn. There had been
an ultra haired young fool once who
had given that football picture to a
girl who bad laughed at It frankly
and to hla mortification. But now
Topsy's description did not trouble
him. The latter, speculating morbid
ly on the chances of being tho happy
spectator of a tragedy, trotted In
silence by her escort. Buddoaly Burn
"Topsy," ha said feebly, and tten
puused In embarrassment
"Yes? Well, why don't you say It?
Topsy gave his band a suggestive
"It's It's so beastly hot, dear, and
It seems too bad to leave Aunt Dale
nlone If she If her head aches ao."
Topsy's chin puckered dolefully,
and her bright eyes grew pathetically
"It ain't hot she ain't alone 'nd
we've come eight blocks 'nd I I
want to see the polar bear."
Burnham laid a stern hand oyer
the cavernoualy open mouth.
"Now, Topsy, hushl We'll go to
see tbe polar bear, but here's an empty
carriage see? And we'll drlvo back
after Aunt Dale."
Topsy hesitated, blinking back the
tears for which sbo found she had no
"She won't go," she objected. "Her
nose and eyes are Just as red! And
she thinks It's hot and she says she
Just bates polar bears. But wo'll
have the ride, won't we? And will
you go to the park Just the same If
"Yes," said Burnham, smilingly:.
"Just the same."
But when the carriage stopped In
front of the gray stone steps all hla
assurance left him, and he pushed
Topsy out Imploringly.
"I won't go In, Topsy," he said
tremulously. "You tell her we
thought perhaps she might be sor
ryno, good Lord, don't say tbatl
Oh, see here; Just Just aay w'd like
to have her come to ace the polar
Then he shrank back Into the car
riage, crimsonly conscious that the
thermometer stood at unknown
heights In the shade of Topsy's ver
anda; that Topsy herself was very
dirty and he very wilted, and that the
driver had stared at blm as he Issued
bis Invitation. Never mind. If only
Dale was sorry, and her secse of hu
Topsy flashed out of the house Jubi
lantly. "8 he's coming!" she shouted
vociferously. "She'll be ready In Just
a minute shes putting "owder on
ber nose. And mamma says I'm a
perfect spectacle, and I've got to get
clean dress and my face washed.
ao you're to come In and wait Aunt
Dale says you know the coolest cor
ner, and mamma can't come down
'cause It's too hot to dress. Mamma
wants us to wait till to-morrow, but
Aunt Dale says It's such a nice, sun
shiny day, and she does want to se
the polar bearl"
80 eager was Aunt Dale that when.
her nelce, although she chose tho
short and speedy route of the banis
ter, came riotously Into the parlor.
she found her repentant relative ln
the shaded corner before her.
It waa only Topsy who was struck;
by the great tragedy of tha empty
cage with Its dripping Ice blacks.
"Chloroformed him two hours ago,"
explained the keeper crudely. "Lord,
but it's a hot dayl" He looked curi
ously at the perspiring bear-hunters.
"They ain't been much of anybody
in here to-day, 'ceptln' kids," he
vouchsafed, with an undercurrent of
reproof in his tones.
"We only came to bring my little)
niece," explained Aunt Dale with dig
Ton didn't" Interpolated Topsy
suddenly, as she sat down arearlly on
a block .of ice outside the cage door.
You wouldn't come at all till wa
went all tbe way back for you. and
then you said you wanted to see tha
bear. And now he's dead, bad you
don't care a bit and oh, dear me, it's
so hot and I'm so tired and this ice
Is Just water,' 'added Topsy as an
afterthought, examining her skirts
with discouraged interest ner ac
cusing eyes caught the laughter in
Burnham's and she began to weep.
You don't care, either I don't be
lieve you care for a single thing, only
that Aunt Dale's sorry."
Burnham shouldered ber peremp
torily and bore her away to tbe car
riage. "You hare come a long way.
Topsy," be told her seriously, "and It
was very hot and the bear was dead.
But at the end of the Journey was
contentment" New York News.
An TJnaaaumlng Itoyat Personage.
Tbe carelessness of the Duke of Nor
folk about dress and his unassuming
ways are very marked and have caus
ed him to be tbe victim of many curi
ous mistakes, relates an English wri
ter. My friend bad a house near
Arundel, and when she'aud her fam
ily were removing to London tbe duke
contemplated buying tbe place as a
bouse for a member of his family. One
morning Mrs. was In her bedroom
shortly after breakfast when a ser
vant came up to tell her that a mes
senger from tho castle bad called.
"Where Is be?" she aaked.
"Oh! bo's In the hall, ma'am."
Knowing the duke's habits of activ
ity in the country she felt some mis
givings and hurried dowstalrs to find
tbe Earl Marshal of England sitting;
quite patiently on a hall chair with
his hat In bis bands. She overwhelm
ed blm with apologies, of course, but
the duke was most amused and, laugh
ingly said that he delighted In an ap
pearance which protected htm from
attentions which would make his Ufa
Tbe requirements of health can bt
counted on the tlugcrs of one hand,
They are good air, good food, suitable
clothing, cleanliness and exercise and
rest Tho first two requirements affect
tbo blood, and as the blood circulates
all over tho body, Including tbo brain,
every part Is affected. Fresh air affects
tho purity of the blood. The frenbest
air la out of doors, and it is the duty
of everyone to spend a certain amount
of time in the open air. Good foods It
not necessarily expensive food. Ex
ercise and rest should alternate and
balanco each other. It Is quite pos
sible to take too much exercise, and
this side of the question must be guard
ed against as carefully as the other.