TOPICS OF
THE TIMES,
A man reasons to a conclusion,
woman conclude,
Polonium may be worth $2,000,000 a
pound, but not to u.
The .greatest trouble about the cr
Timt rouble li that people Insist on
talking or it.
If a man finds out tbnt the women
consider him a good catch It Is apt to
nmko him to fly.
Nnturo Is always generous with ma
terlnla for the man who tries to make
an nta of hltnsclf.
80 long as a woman retains her good
looks she will be only mildly Interest'
cU In rational ureas.
Japan and Ituisla are both professing
a determination to bo good, but each
Is diligently preparing to be bad.
A New York man told the courts that
he could not live on less than $12,000 a
yiar. We can't cither, but we do.
It Is odd that dress reform should
have mnde such a bustle In the world,
when that was one tblug It deprecated.
fraying fgr mlnJn, Kansas Is obso
lete. The lack di a trustworthy prayer
brake makes the practice too haiard'
ous.
Emperor William says only Ameri
cans meet bis wants. It must be true
that be Intends to come over to the
St. Louis show.
King Leopold talks of coming to this
country Incognito. Dut how can he,
with those whiskers and tbo odor of
scandal that clings to hlniT
"Let a man marry Just as soon as he
can support a wife," says Senator De
pew; or as soon as he can get one to
support him, he might hare added.
The Delaware somnambulist who
fired a shot Into his brain while on a
sleep-walking tour Is believed to have
been permanently cured of the habit
The botanist who has discovered a
new kind of rubber makes his an
nouncement In the nick of time. The
old kind Is about played out,1- even as
a joke.
Chinese bandits have kidnaped an
American and wan$'J,X0 ransom. It
must be discouraging to a 'good, brisk
American to be marked down to that
figure after what those Bulgarians
wanted for Miss Stone.
Lombroso says to be a millionaire
one should have quick perception.
That's-right. The rapidity of the per
ception of the fact by the coal man
when we got $30 to the good this
spring made our head swim.
Change the surroundings of the child
and you change Its nature. Better on
vlronniont, contact with better people,
cducntloti these are the forces that
will rnlao tho submerged. And this Is
no platitudinous theory. It Is true. It
has been demonstrated. There are some
persons so low no earthly force ciui
raise them. There Is no child born so
low but that It may ba raised.
The General Synod of the Reformed
Church In America has eliminated
from the bride's response, In Its mar
riage service, the word "obey." As
tho Reformed Church Is one of the re
ligious bodies which believe In making
their forms correspond with their com
munlcauts' belief. It probably feels that
by this action It has merely rn titled
the previous decision of the American
wife, who has eliminated obedience
from her ride of conduct. That the
contractual theory of marriage has
taken deep hold of the people Is evl
denced by such acts as this on the
part of religious bodlw. The sacra
mental Idea In marriage necessitates
obedience nominally on the part of
the wife; but as a matter of practice
It Is found. In such unions, that It the
wife dpen not obey the husband, he
has to. obey her. The corollary of the
contractual notion Is divorce. And It
Is the duty of the Reformed Church In
America, together with that of all oth
er religious bodies that have abandon'
cd the Idea of authority In marriages
to tell bow they are going to espouse
the theory that marriage la a contract.
with no command or duty to obey any'
where, and also maintain the thesis
that divorce Is a great evlL Undoubt
edly American -.society Is Just now In
the position of choosing between the
old and the new. In this as In many
other things. And those who see no
security for the' marriage Institution!
no sure foundation for the family, out
side of an adherence to and vindica
tion of the solemn 'words, "love, honor.
and obey, till death do us part." at
least hare consistency on their side.
A dear little kindergartener, pupil not
teacher, made a distinct impression by
her answer to the question, "Who was
George Washington?" She sold he was
"first In war, second In peace, and
third In the hearts of bis countrymen.'
According to Dr. Barton, the college
' man often resembles a gold brick. He
"represents a considerable cash invest
ment," and when It comes to a show
down be falls to make good. The good
doctor Is rather severe on the biceppy,
bulidog-plpey, Greek-letter-fratty, 'rah-'rah-'rab
boy.
It is related of a Missouri engineer
at Atchison that be does not hesitate to
drive his machine at full speed through
the blackest storm at night with wash
outs all around, him, but that he is
afraid to go home alone In the dark.
If someone Is not at the roundhouse
to go home with him he sits there till
daylight. It U the old story of every
man having bis own peculiar fears.
There Is In Topeka a doctor who will
cut a man to pieces and smile the
while. lie is an old soldier and often
faced'the cannon's mouth. But he will
betray the most abject terror if one of
the harmloss little elm tree worms hap
pens to drop on his person.
The duty of keeping the country
clean, safe within and without, the
abode of well-ordered peace, a light to
the nations, Is laid upon the Americans
of these times. The call to the young
men especially not so thrilling and
blood-stirring as the summons to the
battlefield Is no whit less Imperative.
The present dangers are capable of
becoming as deadly dangerous as dis
ruption Itself If they are not averted
betimes, and the averting of them will
need diligent and vigilant devotion.
"The Union has been saved," yes, but
what Is the Union for? To establish
Justice, Insure domestic tranquillity,
provide for the commou defense, pro
mote the general welfare and securo
the blessings of liberty to ourselves
and to our posterity. The enemies we
have to dread now and to overcome If
we may are busy in our stock ex
changes, labor halls, at our hearth
stones, in our own bosoms. It will be
no easy war; we hare ir work cut
out for pit .
A new contribution has been made
to the age-old discussion as to what Is
the stronger force heredity or envir
onment. The United States Bureau of
Kducatlon has Issued a pamphlet by
Arthur McDonald, specialist, on "The
Criminal, Pauper and Defective
Classes." Mr. McDonald minimizes the
power of heredity. He Is optimistic
In the belief that inherited tendencies
may be overcome by proper surround
ings. Crime, In his view, is mostly due
to association. The chief causes of
crime are outlined; Criminal parentage.
Neglect by parents. Poverty. Evil
associations. The saloon. Criminal
parentage does not necessarily pro
duce criminal offspring. It Is the early
impressions of the criminal family that
etart the wrong tendencies. These ten
dencies are confirmed by evil associa
tions, accentuated by poverty and for
tified by the saloon. If this is true
criminology there la hope for society.
At commencement time the college
graduate is handed glittering strings
of sterile platitudes by the man who
has never run a factory, managed a
railroad, or built a bridge. As the col
lego was not organized to teach young
men how to do these things. It cannot
be expected that the learned gentlemen
who deliver baccalaureate addresses
are going to discuss the best ways of
doing them. The most that can be
expected of them are the usual exhor
tations to utilize the training received
in the attainment of the highest Ideals
of citizenship. The question that con
fronts the graduate, however, as soon
as the Joyous glamor of commence
ment has faded away Is, How is he go
ing to fit into the great industrial
struggle! a struggle that grows more
strenuous as the years go by? How Is
he going to compete with the young
man who has been learning a business
while he has been learning Greek or
the sciences for four years at college?
Here is where, advice will come in
handy. Strikingly original and refresh
ingly practical is the address of Dr.
Draper, a man who lays great stress
upon the Importance of relieving the
minds of young men of the notion that
college training is a substitute for
work. In bis baccalaureate address to
the graduates from a State university
he declared that the reason for the
present tendency of certain successful
men to decry college education may be
found 'In the conceits of too many
young college men and women; in
their unteachableness and their un
willingness to adapt themselves to the
present conditions and the details of
the labor which alone can build up suc
cess." On the question of work Dr.
Draper sold: "Work, the steady, per
sistent doing of things upon a work'
able plan. Is the foundation of all ordi
nary accomplishments. If one gets the
idea that the things which he has
studied In the books are sufficient to
enable him to get on without persist
ent doing of things his case is hope
less." In other words, the college grad
uate must be willing to start "at the
bottom," trusting to bis college train
Ing to Increase his value and efficiency
as be grows Into a business or voca
tlon. If be is not willing to do this
he is in great danger of becoming an
educated loafer."
OPINIONS OF GREAT PAPERS ON IMPORTANT SUBJECTS
s
luxury and Degeneration.
TUDEN'TS of sociology have dwelt on the Anglo-
Saxon habit of luxury as It It were au Anglo-Saxon
habit, and not an Implant from the Latin. They do
not call It luxury, they name It comfort, and betwoon
me one and the other no line can be drawn, for what wa
extravagance In the last century Is the common property
of all classes In this. In housing, food, arms, clothing,
transportation, ornament, domestic properties, the nccoi
sorles of travel and hotel life, the every day citizen expvets
and obtains more than did the nobleman and merchant
thrco centuries ago. The effect of comfort, or luxury. Is to
draw men to tho cities where It Is most easily bought; to
add to tho congestion already existing there; by that coiv
gcstlon to Induce Insanitary modes of life; through luxury
to Induce, also, n softness, a weakness, that make us the
rradk-r prey of disease, ennui, melaucholy and eventual de
generation-physical, mental, moral.
Such, at least. Is the theory, but an Instinct, not merely
of self-preservation, but of race preservation, begets In us
n longing to return to tho soil, to live in the country, or 011
the shore, for some weeks or mouths In the year, to travel,
to go abroad In ships, and yachts, to climb, bunt, fish, play
golf, to take walking, horseback, bicycling or automobile
tours, to fill the eye with light and pleasing Images and
the lungs with unbreathed air, to regain tho sense of
beauty, to live more simply, and so to bring back the vital
ity that Is sapped by artificial living In the cities.
Hard conditions make hardy men, If they are not too
hard, and In the brief lapses from those conditions the
natural rest and npsprlng there Is greater happiness than
In acquiring new luxuries, or the forgetting of 0110 pleasure
Id a newer. The barefoot boy. fishing with a pin and
.whistling In his freedom, la not ouly healthier, stronger.
nnd of a sturdier moral fiber, but Is really happier thau
the pale, over-dressed city boy who has a hundred wants
unknown to the rustic. Still, the country people are anx
lous for their sbaro In the distribution of luxuries, and
rightly so, for In their environment they arc less Injurious
ly affected by them. If affected at all. Brooklyn Eagle.
H
GOLD FEVER IN VERMONT.
Inhabitants In Kami Sections See Vie
Ions of Great Wealth.
The residents of several of the south
ern towns In Bennington and Wind
ham counties, Vermont, hare for sev
eral months been experiencing a se
vere attack of gold fever. Many of
them have become convinced that they
are living In a new California, and that
untold wealth In mineral production
can be found In the rocky hills.
Many persons who have bought
claims have sent samples of their rock
to Prof. Mason of the Rensselaer Poly
technic Institute of Troy, says the Bos
ton Herald. In every case bis replies
have been unfavorable, and bp has
done his best to discourage confidence
In any profit from gold mining n Vermont
In returning some of these samples
to a party with a decidedly unfavor
able report, the professor says:
"There Is no gold In paying quantities
to be found in the New England
States; and very little east of the, Mis
sissippi river, There are traces of
gold In sufficient quantity to reward
the worker everywhere, even in tho
backyards of Bennington, but there Is
no 'pay dlrf or gold In, this part of
the country. When I hare warned
some of your Vermont people who
have brought specimens to me, that
it would be better for them not to In
vest money in the hope of reward In
gold mining, I have discovered by the
long races of some that the warning
woa too late and that the property bad
been purchased with the' Idea that it
would prove to be a bonanza."
In the towns of Readsboro, Wilming
ton and others near by, thousands of
dollars bare been thrown away In the
last eighteen months In wildcat min
ing enterprises.
Malaria Not So Plebeian.
Ottlman I suppose your town Is get
ting a bit-more fashionable now?
Buduubs res, indeed; we used to
complain o our "chills and fever,"
but now everybody refers to It m
"malaria." PhlladalnhU rdssr.
Protection Against Fire.
HE town of Salem, N. C offers a useful object Ics
ion In the system of protection from the dangers of
fire. The town Is 137 years old, and In all th.it time
not only has had no conflagration but no disastrous
fire. It has never In all its history bad a fire where the
loss was over $750. There was only one dwelling burned
In 100 years, dating from 1770, and there never was but
one fire which got beyond the building In which It orlg
Inated, On that occasion two buildings were burned, each
worth $250. During tbo first 127 years of the town's history
the total loss of property by fire wns less than $2,000. And
Salem Is a town of between 4,000 and 0.000 people.
Tho explanation of this remarkable Immunity from fire
Is Salem's fire ordinance, which provides for Inspection of
all buildings In order to remove dangerous heating appli
ances. The Inspectors bunt out all defective flues, unsafe
loves and furnaces, Insecure stovepipes and chimneys, and
unsafe receptacles for ashes. They also give special atten
tion to the construction of buildings. No property owner Is
allowed to put up an Insecure building. What Is even more
to the purpose, ths people themselves co-operate cheerfully
with the Inspectors, nnd from long experienco have become
themselves well acquainted with all the methods of protec
tion against fire. Thus they have minimized the danger
with the results already stated.
It Is the old story, "an ounce of prevention Is worth a
pound of cure." Fires cannot be absolutely stopped, but
they can be largely prevented by thorough Inspection. The
causes of danger being removed or provided against thero
Is little chance of fire. Chicago Tribune.
T:
Grain Trade on the Lakes.
HE development of the grain trade In the Northwest
will be wonderfully advanced when the plans of the
Great Lakes and St. Lawrence Transportation Com
pany are fully realized. This concern, which has Its
headquarters In Duluth. has launched the first of a fleet
of ten steamers designed to carry grain from that city and
other lake ports down through the Canadian canals and the
St. Lawrence to Montreal and Quebec, wbere cargoes will
be transferred to larger vessels for transportation across
the Atlantic. This Is the nearest we are likely to get In
this generation to direct steamship connection between
the Inland seas of the North and tbo ocesn. It veatsls were
built big enough to mnks them profitable as freighters be
tween Duluth and Liverpool, they could not get through
the Canadian canals, and there Is no prospect of the Io
minion government enlarging those waterways. They have
already cost a lot of money for Improvements, and being
now adequate for all ordinary purpoacs, they will bo main
tained In their present condition for some time to come.
They can be used to advantage, however, by ships of mod
est tonnage, which are still Urge enough to encounter suc
cessfully the perils of navigation In the lakes. Such are
the steamers planned for the Great takes and St. Ijiwrcnce
Company. They will carry grain for a longer distance with
out breaking bulk than any other vessels ever built for
Northwestern trade, and will facilitate export by reducmg
charges Brooklyn Eagle.
science
Invention
Ti
Vanity fair.
HE "smart set" Is early at Its refined diversions.
which annually grow more novel In conceit and ex-
qulttte In humor. The genius whose original and hap
py doings are the particular delight of society, recol
lecting the glory he won last year by dlulng a monkey
nmong other guests at his table, the other day, on the
deck of the Newport-Wlckford ferryboat, brought Joy to
one and all by barking like a dog and Jumping about on
all fours while he picked up tho ladles' handkerchiefs with
his teeth. The diverting Idea of the host who recently
dined a party on horseback In Sherry's ballroom, from little
tables fastened on the pommels of thirty-two saddles, won
too splendid a triumph to go long unrivaled. M. Santos
Dumont has given his friends the exhilarating experience of
a dinner In mld-alr from stilted tables and chairs, with
miniature airships circling round their heads; while, for
another candidate for social glory. Sherry's ballroom was
transformed from a stable Into a barnyard, where live
chickens, geese and pigs furnished a delightful acnao of
reality, and In the middle of which a colossal egg Inclosed a
table, at which an elaborate luncheon was served by wait
ers clad as farm hands
The Ingenuity displayed In these enterprises, the In
ventive power, the taste and thought exercised tu bringing
details to perfection, tbo lavish disregard to ths coat of
outre settings, and the spirit of vaunting Idleness and In
souciance how refreshing a contrast all this affords to the
plain and unimaginative labors of those whose leaser talents
are absorbed In earning dally bread, carrying on the world's
work, teaching Its children, healing Its sick, striving to
solve the problems of science, alleviating human mlary,
ministering to elementary human necda and spreading mod
est tables of hospitality for almplo-beartcd friends!-Phila
delphia Public Ledger.
TI
On Wasting Time.
IME flics. This Is a trite saying. We do not always
realize Its truth. A young man starts out In life with
high hopes and strong ambition. Tho years ahead of
htm look long years to him. Tha day of his achieve
ment seems In a far distant future. But the years pass.
each succeeding one more swiftly than Its predecessor.
Soon he finds the time becoming short In which he ma) ac- W,nrn
compusn nis pians. in worn or pleasure cnanges come, ana 1 fcct niI , llt.Kllt r urfce
the time nns flown so fast that account of it cannot be, .,... .. iri M hotUlx in
taken. When one comes to middle life a year Is scarce be- 1 lh tnM, reached rock at a depth of
gun ueiore 11 is guue. n is now mm one uegins 10 ue nT0 hundred feet. Taken along with
impresses wan me iruin, time niea. ine 01a worm, the
CViffeo berries are understood to con
tain about one per rent of caffeine, to
which the stimulating properties are
lue. In a lata analysts of nine kinds
it tho Pasteur Institute, M. Ilertratid
has found that Coffca Pancphoru con
talus as much as l.UT per vent of caf
feine, but that two species Cl. Hum
boltlana and 0. Mauritians -arc prac
tically free from the stimulating alka
lold, not more than 0.0T per cent ap
pearing lu either.
It Is known that radio-active suh
stances, like radium, Impart mil lone
tlvlty to other substances, and 11. (lei
gel has attempted to show whether the
absorption of energy la accompanied
by any Increase In weight. He was
unable to detect any auch effect. With
a much more sensitive apparatus Carl
Korche has repeated the work, making
numerous weighings of fifty-six grams
of lend, and has found that a large
mass of active material half an Inch
below the lead Increased the weight of
the latter about one part In twenty-fir
million.
On account of tho frequent repairs
required by the pneumatic tire 0
henry automobiles and their great coat,
the osporlmcnt of substituting solid
tires on tho rwir wheels has recently
been made, and on of the result
shown Is an Increase of tractive power
In climbing bills. It Is Mid that hill
which could not be climbed by a vehi
cle having a complete set of pneumatic
tires were surmounted by the same
machine after solid tires had been put
on the rear wheels. At the mine time
the vibration was not Increased to an
uncomfortable degrc.
Prof. J. P. Hose recently presented
to the Ltnnnin Society In I-omlon ths
results of experiments which show
that the peculiar movements of the
leaflets of tho so called "tolcgraph
plant" are duo to an electric disturb
nnce traveling ai a "current or ac
tion" In tho plant. Bach leaf consists
of a large terminal leaflet and two
smaller lateral ones. The lateral loaf-
lets spontaneously rise and fall Ilk
the arms of a semaphore, the period of
a complete movement nemg nttout
three and a half minutes. Henco tho
name of the plant, which Is a species
of desmodlum. or tlck-trefoll, native to
tho East Indies, but easily cultivable
In conservatories.
The problem of piercing a glacier by
means of boring has at last been solr
ed with results of real scientific Inter
est In experiments made last August
on a glacier near Vent, In tho Tyrol. At
a distance of about one and one-quar
ter miles from the tip of the gla
Its breadth Is '.',130
sun and moon and stars go on evenly In their courses;
their pace Is not changed. Yet how different to the one
who. Instead of seeing a summit to attain, looks down
rather tban up, and sees In the near distance the brink of a
dark river to which he Is rapidly nearing.
Youth cannot too highly value the years, the months.
the days even the hours as they pass. Each day Is a step
toward age. Do not waste tlme Do not fritter yours days
away In folly that Is worse than purposeless. One cannot
be working or engaged upon serious matters all tha time.
Recreations and amusements have their place. With many
people there are hours each day Just frittered away; going
for neither work, study nor amusement. It Is an Idle noon
ing between doing things; a drawling out the processes
of work. Instead of doing things heartily, whether It be
study, work or play, they Idle along. The old adage of
school day fnme Is good long after school days are past.
St. Paul Pioneer Press.
I HIS LAST PRATCICAL JOKE. J
t t I
C. M. Harger tells in a Western pa
per the story of the way In which 11
lawyer came to abandon practical Jok
ing. The senior lawyer of tho bar In
a certain county was a courteous gen
tleman of the old school, of whom bis
Juniors were fond. This old lawyer
was very near-sighted, but had a hab
it, when addressing a Jury, of taking
off his glasses.
One day when he was thus speak
ing, and bis spectacles were lying on
the table, bis back was 'turned to the
other members of the bar. The lawyer
to whom allusion has been made no
ticed on the table a piece of tlssue
puper, and saw in this a chance to
play a Joke on the older man.
With a penknife ho cut out pieces
of the tissue-paper Just large enough
to cover the lenses of the spectacles.
and with a little mucilage fastened
them to the glasses. The paper was
scarcely noticeable, but It was enough
to prevent vision through the glasses.
Presently the old lawyer had occa
sion to read some paper in the course
of hlfi address. He camo back to the
table, put on the glasses, and attempt
ed to read. He strained bis eyes, re
adjusted the glasses, and tried again,
Then a deadly pallor overspread his
face, which was not In the least amus
ing to see. He staggered to a chair.
The young lawyers gathered around
blm.
'My God, gentlemen," ho said, "I
am blind! I hare feared it for years!"
Then he dropped bis face In his hands.
The court-room was hushed. Be
fore any one could speak, howerer,
be bad lifted his bead and percelred
that he could see again. He examined
his glasses, and as be rnbbcd the tis
sue-paper, be flushed with Indignation.
Not a person In the room found In the
Incident anything to smile at, not
even the one who bad perpetrated the
'Joke," and this man on the spot for
swore practical Joking forever.
Youth's Companion,
Not a lilt Surprised.
'Say, boys," be broke In, "poor Jim
my Turner's dead."
Jimmy Turner was a Jockey and
trainer well known on Western tracks,
and each member of the party beared
a preliminary sigh of regret at bis tak
ing off. But not one of them was sur
prised. Not at all. Quite to ths con
trary, livery one of them had fore
seen and predicted It time after, time.
"Well, I'm not a bit surprisea," said
the first man. "Ths last Urn I saw
AN OREGON RABBIT DRIVE.
measurements of rate of movement,
surface melting and temperature the
experiment enabled the following con
clusions to be drawn: Klrst, the tnm
perature of the Ico is at the melting
point throughout the whole mass on
the tongue of the glacier; second, the
bed of the glacier Is trough-shaped
third, ths Ice mores moro slowly at ths
bottom than at the surface. The bore
boles were filled up with pieces of
wood, which will serve for many years
to come as Indexes of the rate of move
ment and of surface melting.
INJUSTICE TO ANIMALS.
In
In the typical Oregon rabbit drive herewith pictured nearly a thousand
persons took part and more than 3,600 rabbits were slain, The modus oper
andi was that adopted In all battues of the sort, consisting In driving tho
animals from the outskirts of a V shaped lino three miles long Into a corral
Inclosed by netting, which was a literal deathtrap. As the converging army
of rabbits entered the corral they made frantic efforts to escape, and many
did succeed In leaping tbo eight foot fence, but the most of them perished,
victims to the cruel but necessary' measures taken by the farmers to pre
serve tbelr crops.
Jimmy he looked mighty bad to me.
Kind of peaked about the eyes"
"Yes," said the second man, break
ing In, "and he's had tbat beetle flush
on bis cheeks for the last two months."
"I was telling my wife yesterday,"
went on the third member of the wise
men's association, "tbat poor Jimmy
wasn't long for this world. How long
was he sick?"
"About a minute," said the newcom
er, "He was run over and killed by a
passenger train." Chicago Tribune.
AN OWL'8 FLIGHT FOR LIFE.
Dlrd Carried Far to Ben on an Ice-
berir Jteaches Hhfp,
While the whaleback steamer Forest
Castle, from Liverpool, was off the
Newfoundland banks an owl as
white as snow fell exhausted on deck.
Tho owl made a desperate flight from
an Iceberg to the ship. It was "dead
beat" when It floundered aboard, and
without a great deal of touble was
made a' prisoner, says tbo Philadelphia
Press.
The sailors were astonished at the
arrival of the passenger. Someone
saw the peculiar object coming labor
iously through the air, making a line
for the whaleback. Away off on tho
horizon line was a great Iceberg, which
bad worked Its way farther south than
theso terror of the northern sea are
wont to do.
When the "berg" parted .company
with the icefield ' of the far north It
probably carried with it the owl, which
clung to Its raft of crystal until
flight was useless, a stretch of sea
forming a barrier orcr which tho bird
did not dare attempt flight Like a
sensible owl, It held to the refuge In
sight, hoping for a better one by and
by.
When the Britisher Forest Castle ap
peared on the horizon the bird made
1U one last dash for life. It was prob
ably half starred and 111 prepared for
such a long chase a stern chase, too
for the Tessei, well to the south, was
also plying steadily In that direction.
Howorcr, the race was won by the
owL
The Peddler.
A nig peddler called several tlmos
at a Wichita (Kan.) houso nnd found
the people away from home. At last
he wrote and pinned this noto on tho
ooor: -Aiaciani; Kindly remain at
home tomorrow forenoon. I want to
sell you a rug." Kansas City Journal.
We wonder If in tha next world
women stand next to each other In the
heavenly choir for a thousand years,
but don't speak because they have not
been Introduced.
There are lots of womon who ore
kept so busy with husbands and ba
bies nnd housework, that it must ba
positive luxury to bo sick In bed.
Just so much worrying must bo
done; If the husband is a "good fel
low," the wife worries tor two.
Undreerved Crltlcleme Involved
Popular Adauet,
"As stupid as a donkey." When one
boy tells nuother not to make "an ass'
of himself, or says tbat tbo other Is as
stupid as "n donkey" or as obstinate,
as "a mule," he does not mean tho re
mark for a compliment, nnd tho other
boy nuver accepts It for one. But Is
the donkey really a stupid animal, Is
the ass anything llko so great a fool
as the human being who Is supposed
to beharo Ilka an ass, and Is the mule
only obstinate or has ho a "firm char
acter?" Ask any one who associates
with the donkey beast. He will tell
you at onco that the little animal Is as
Intelligent a creaturo of Its class as
you can find. Thero are donkeys that
seem to show n contempt for the bit
man understanding by not always car
ing to do what a human being asks
of them, but make a donkey lore you
and you will find blm docile enough.
There are stupid donkeys and Intelli
gent donkeys, as thoro are stupid and
Intelligent horses, dogs, and persons,
An nss has nerer been known to do
anything so absolutely silly as to mako
It cxcusablo to glre the poor creaturo
the bad name be has borno for ages.
Ho Is patient. Ho Is long-suffering.
Much abuse makes blm appear Indiffer
ent to tho treatment ho receives. It
Is, howorer, a little too unjust to sup
poso that be Is originally stupid be
cause his Inhuman master Is cruel,
'As silly as a goose." What Is there
particularly silly about a goose? Does
It follow Its animal Instincts In caring
for Itself and Its young? Before you
accept the adage about a gooso's silli
ness watch It for yourself. The com
mon barnyard geese need not be
ashamod to be studied with the ducks
and the chickens of tho poultry house;
they bear tho comparison Tory well
Indeed. The wild geese, howerer.
which nerer associate with human be
ings In or about a barnyard are re
markably Intelligent birds. No one Is
called "as silly as a wild goose," while
to lead one "a wild-goose chase" Is to
lead him ono knows not where, so
cunning Is the bird In Its strong, un-'
trapped fight.
A wise as an owl," If erer the ap
pearance of wisdom was mistaken for
the quality it Is In tho extraordinary
Intelligence attributed to tho owl. Why
Is It, do you suppose, that tbo owl
looks so much wiser tban other birds,
not to particularize some other ani
mals? Science can tell you tbo reason.
In the frontal bones orer the brain
of tho owl Is an immense number of
air cells, They glre the forehead that
imposing appearance which' has com
manded tho respect of human beings
from the days of tho worship of Miner
va down to the more prosaic present.
To look wlso when one makes as little
fuss and noise a the owl Is no mean
accomplishment Looking wise and J
being generally silent Is 0110 way U
ninkn yourself respected, It may nmko
you rntlcr llresoiiiu lu general com
puny, but think how much morn lire
some you aro If too noisy! The quirt
of tho owl Is 1111 iixiimplo soiuu boister
ous young people might do well to Imi
tate, It has n wisdom quite Its own,
We hare not a word to say against It,
Our Animal Friends,
SAVE THE HARDWOOD TREES.
Thousands of Axee Cnitelnsr Oreat Ie
etrucllon Thrniiuliuiit Country,
Memphis Is tho largest hardwood
lumber market In the world, hut Mem
phis and the entire hardwood produc
ing section of the country have eausn
for alarm over the rapid and Indis
criminate slaughter of hardwood trees
that Is going tin, says tlio Memphis
Commercial-Appeal.
Tha wasto Is something startling.
Giant trros are cut down and their
trunks hauled to convenient sawmills
to lo cut up Into boards or planks or
scantling or beams: or ths logs arn
loaded on cars and shipped to the far
north nnd east: or they arn rafted on
tho streams and don let I to (Id water
and shipped to foreign countries. In
the mere matter of staves and stave
getting thousands of axes am kept
going constantly and the destruction
Is great. Much good IuiiiIkt In thn
tops and branches that could ba utiliz
ed Is left to rot on the ground. Mil
lions of feet of It are being sent abroad
annually that are needed at homo or
which will be needed at' home.
This should be discouraged as much
as possible. Thn south Is unbuilt and
houses and homes of men must he
built lu town and country, on hill and
valley. In Its cuddled roves and across
the sweeps of Its vast prairies, and
much lumber will be required for this.
Tlile on Item alone would atrip many
thousand acres annually.
Then ths question of railroad ties
must be considered. There are In tho
south or soon will Ixi about 300,000
miles of railroad. Including side tracks
and switches and on theso aro used
about 3,000 ties to the mile. Thn
average life of a tt Is about six years.
which means that an average of 60,000
miles of roadbed mint recelvo now
ties every year, which will requlrn
In all 160,000,000 ties and In the six
years POO.0O0.0OO new ties must Im
provided a suftlctent amount to de
nude a forest of enormous proportions.
rhls number of railroad cross ties at
60 cents each would aggregate thn
vast sum of $ 150,000,000, which con
sidered merely as one item, Is worth
looking after.
The hardwood forests are expansive.
hut not Inexhaustible and they should
bo protected. War should first be de
clared on that arch enemy of the pub
lic, the man who begins clearng nit
land for agricultural purposes by first
making a "deadenln" "by first mur
dering hundreds nnd hundreds of valu
able trees by cutting a circle around
them so that thn sap cannot rlsn off
In tha spring nnd leaving tlit-m In rot
away and fall piecemeal, as though
aflllcted with the Irprocy. This wan
ton destruction of property Is a crlmn
that should be prohibited If posslbln
and punished severely when commit
ted. It la less common than formerly,
but It Is yet committed.
HOLDS DOWN HIS JOD,
Patriate Oo to Mararalbo to sturceed
I'lamacher, but Alwaye Meturn,
Eugene II. Plumacher, of Tennensee,
bss been consular agent at Maracalbo,
since 1878 and consul since 188.1 Many
patriots who desired to servo their
country for the t'J.OUO salary Consul
Plumachcr enjoys have gone to Mara
calbo, but none has remained. Plu
machcr attends to that, according to
the "Saturday Evening Post."
At the State Department In Wash
ington they my whim a ship arrives
bringing a consul appointed to Mara
callio Plumacher Is on deck with ef
fusive greetings.
My dear sir," says Plumacher, "I
extend to you the heartiest of wel
comes. I " Then, as If struck by a
sudden thought, Plumacher withdraws
the hands ho has outstretched nnd
says: "But, 110, 1 must lint touch you,
for I have Just returned from officiat
ing nt the last sad rltft for two dear
friends who died of tho yellow fever."
The consul shudders. Later In tho
day, after ho has dined with Plu-
macher, they take a stroll. The new
comer sees a row of graves, each dec
orated with an American flag,
Do they decorate tho graves of sol
diers hero, too?'
Oh, no," replies Plumacher. "Those
aro not soldiers. There rent the remains
of sereral fellow countrymen, each of
whom came here to bo consul. Thoy
all died of the yellow forcr and I strive
to honor their memories."
That Is enough. Tha noxt ship takes
tbe quaking patriot home, mid Plu
macher settles down to thn routlno of
official life until another ambitious suc
cessor arrives.
Her Dnflultlnn.
Little Edith went to the kindergar
ten. One day the teacher gave her a
list of words, telling tbe llttln miss to
find out tbelr meaning nnd then write
a sentence containing each won). The
first word on the list was "niche," and
little Miss Bright Eyes discovers that
It means a recess, so she very careful
ly and precisely wrote on her slato;
'The children ate tholr lunch at
niche."
And tbe teacher wondered at the
flexibility of the English language.
Meekest Man of All.
McJIgger Chicken-hearted? Well, I
should say; he's tbe limit.
Thingumbob Is that so?
McJIgger Nothing can make him
fight. Why, I'vo seen him let a man
cheat him out of bis turn In the barber
shop and he nerer said a word. Phila
delphia Press.
Homo Reputations.
Do you subscribe to the theory that
people's characters are made by what
they cat?"
'No," answered the scientist; "but.
Judging from the advertisements, I
should say that in many cases their
reputations are made by the medicine
they take," Washington Btar.
Petticoat llulo In Prospect.
Ho My darling, when will you be
mine?
She Nerer! But I'll marry you. lit
lustrated Bits.