TOPICS OF TUB TIMES. When Ituttla lcl'i go In Manchuria It U only to get a better bold. George Ado tins bought sn automo bile. It I up to Mr. Dooloy to pur chase a flying innelilne. We can never And out what the fu ture had In storo for ui until wo bare paid tba ttoraga charges. then. tJic 8ln of wifely devotion. Th worn stocking mny not Lnd Itself so entity to the demands of poetry, but It la Bono the less a beautiful and appro priate symbol. There was a time within twenty years when It teemed na u BiocKiug-mcuuing were uwiuni. The needle was temporarily discard- ed. A clever writer, speaking of the I "wwhUheM OPINIONS OF GREAT PAPERS ON IMPORTANT SUBJECTS rots with beaded eyes to an ago which hires outxldcrs to dnrn Its stock ings. Hut to-day the pendulum has swung back, and my lady presides About the time a man discovers that eyeglass! make him look Intellectual bo develops optical affections. again over the stocking basket whether It Is filled with dainty Paris Ian hose of silk, or with stout woolen socks, fit for tusslo with thorn and wind and weather. ArtBXtAUK. In regard I Fourteen i Nlo.iragu.ti Bamson and Absalom must have had some Interesting discussions as to the merit nud lack of merit In having the hair cut. Some people puzzle so much ovei how to be grammatical that they tor get what they were going to say which Is often Just ns well. The German Minister of War has re signed because ho was criticised by outsiders. It Is evident that he didn't have I ho true ofllccholdlng spirit A young New York millionaire takes a detective to Bible class with him every Sunday. He seems to have but little faith In the ways of the Lord. President Olyphant, of the Delaware & Hudson llallroad, thinks be will quit because be Is '80 years old. Well, all things considered. It Is no more than right that he should give a boy of 05 or 70 a chance. Over In Paris they call It "motor In toxication" when an automoblllst wonts to go so fast that' people will have no chance to get out of the way. "Intoxication" seems to be a pretty mild term for this form of disorder. People who commit suicide are gen erally lacking In any wholesome relig ious faith. If a man believes In a fu ture existence and retribution for wrongdoing In this life he will hesi tate to force his passage Into the great hereafter. An Indianapolis pastor advocates the Saturday half holiday In order to In sure a proper keeping of the Sabbath. He probably argues that when Sunday comes the person who had his fun the day before will be too tired to do any thing but go to church. Some authorities are making the strange assertion that the field of sci ence has now been pretty well ex plored, that the greater part of all pos sible research work lias been perform ed, and that It remains for physicians only to clear up the litter left by vari ous careless scientists. This would bo n comfortable conclusion. lint no doubt the time conclusion has been accepted by every age that has pre ceded our own. The people of 100 years from now will laugh at this con clusion, Just as we laugh at the same conclusion made 100 years ago. Anuls ton, Ala., claims a man who taw the first locomotive and cars ever con structed. And. when we come to think of It, no unreasonable length of life Is required of a man to have witnessed Stephenson's first engine drawing cars. The grandfathers of the present gen eration knew nothing of railroads, and never dreamed of their possibility. To them the relay stage coach represented the perfection of transportntlou. Noth ing better was deemed necessary. In the comparatively short span of three- quarters of a century the railroad has become so absolutely essential to the world that If It were suddenly with drawn commercial chaos would result. It has become the arteries and veins of Industry, Just as the telegraph has become Its nervous system. Human possibility Is measured In the ordinary mind only by past achievement. We are apt to forget that the race Is con stantly progressing, and that new fields of vision arc ever opening before expanding brains. There are lots of things that we don't understand. The half-dozen new gases discovered In air, the X-rays and such radio-active bodies as radium have put everything we thought we knew Into question again. The various new finds open up vast fields for the experimentalist What are their limits no one can say. The, Isthmian Canal, RRMAKKAIIl.U change of opinion has taken place to the best route for the Isthmlau Canal months ngo, when the House passed the lc.tragu.tu bill, the Panama routa bad few advo cates; only one newspaper In New York championed It, and the state of feeling at the time Is further Illustrated by the fact that this chainp'on was actuated by a desire to thwart the building of any can.it. Now, however, there Is hardly a voice raised to mourn for abandoned Nicaragua, and we have engaged to spend millions, hundreds of mil lions, on ranama. We have agreed to pay the 1'anania Canat Company f 10.000.000 for Its rights, unfinished work, and other property; wo have agreed to pay Colombia $10, 000.000 and nn annuity of $230,000. and In addition to this outlay there Is the cost of construction, which Is estimated at $2"O,0O0.O0O, but may.' nnd probably will, bo much more. As much ns this has nlrcidy been suuk In tho fourteen miles of ditch already completed by the old l'anama com pany, and thirty-threo miles of more dllllcult work remains to be done, Fourteen years and $250,000,000 are plainly very scant estimates of the time and money which will have to lie expended before the Isthmus Is crossed by n navigable waterway. Hut the rewards will equal the ex penditure. Public Opinion. residence there. The condition of tho rondwnys In any neighborhood Is nu unfailing sign of Its progress. Tho organization of good roads associations, local, State, nation al and International, Is doing excellent work In spreading Information, exulting Interest nnd securing needful legisla tion respecting the movement. Philadelphia Public Ledger. IlUMOlt OX'1 Till!) WKEK STORIES TOLD UY FUNNY MEN OF THE PHESS. Tho Alien Invasion. SN'T It a little foolish for us to talk of "tho American race" nnd "the American character" ns If they were es tablished and recognizable fads, In the face of n move ment which Is vastly altering the population of our land? Within the last forty years 10,000,000 of aliens have come to our shores. There never was a nice movement Odd, Curious and I.nilnlintile Pliaaee of IIiiiiiiiii Nature til uplilciilljr I'or trnyeil bjr Itinltieiit Word ArtlaU of Our Own !hijr-A Undue! of I'liu. "Didn't you tell mo yesterday that von had n wife and three small chil dren?" asked tho benevolent looking man. "Mister," responded Meandering Mike, "If I had n wife an' three chll dreu don't you spose I'd put 'em to work Instead o' goln' nut dls way my soirr Washington Star. A nt-Driver' Advice. 'Advice of nu old cnb drlVtr to his succcssorl "Always know the) exact hour of Ilia train your passenger wishes to take. Uracil the station at the very last mo ment, so Hint tin cannot dispute with you, whatever price you ask,?' Pear son's Weekly. Troll tile ! More fur Tnmtitr. Indignant Neighbor This la the tin pan your boy Tommy tied to our dog's tall n Utile whlln ago! Tommy's Mother (becoming equally Indignant) I shall certainly have lilt father whip hluil That was my host pant-Chicago Tribune. Interesting Wheat Experiments, XPEltlMKNTS In Colorado and Wyoming point to the development of a species of hard wheat that will yield liouutlfully In the arid regions. In 1800 a Col oradoan, Mr. ltobert Gauss, planted somo Improved rife wheat and left It to take care of Itself. The harvest gave barely enough wheat for seed the next yeor. The crop from this seed was much better, and each year since the grain has gained In productiveness. In 1002 Kred Bond. State engineer of Wyoming, planted half a pint of this acclimatized seed nenr Cheyenne at an altitude of 0,030 feet, a lid another half-pint nt Iluffnlo, attitude 4,700 feet. The first tot threshed OH pints aud the second ,21)& pints. No water was artificially given to either plantation, and the rainfall at Cheyenne was only 0.3S, and at IlutTalo 4.00 Inches. If experiments on a larger scale nre equally suc cessful, Mr. Gauss, ns the Geographic Magazine says, has reclaimed nearly 400.000 square miles of land. The whole nrld and seml-arld West will eagerly await further expert uicuts. Indianapolis Journal. A Mntler of I nntitiaiie. Old Ijuly How Is the 7 o'clock train, Mr. Kohwiirtzuielsterl I Sohwnrlsuiclstrr (who loves to revert to his German! Allrs reoht. I ill. I t ...I.. '..-..II. f.. I..... ........ I III... ,t. H'l. V......... fX. ... .... nf t.'tn,!. ,t wnm ' .., n .-.j i..i,.- microscopic; the Invasion of HZml American uuu .ll);iea lis iiiiKiiimnm, (hit mvsii'iii ut iiiv- imii'tuitiiin upon the Itouiau Umpire wns n small affair, cumpared with the Invasion of the United States now going on. In the retrospect, all the great movement of population recorded In history nre seen to have profoundly altered the charac ters and affected the careers of the countries to which they moved, and we may be certain that the national character and the national destiny will be no less materially affected In our own case now. lu the nature of things, the effect will not appear nt once; the newcomers are poor and of slight consideration; does any ono expect that they will re main so for many generational Doesn't every one who will take the trouble to think about It know that .In the worlds of business, politics, and even "society," the sons nnd daughters of those who fought for American Independence already In many cases have to give way to the descendants of those who were coming ashore, with their parks on their lacks, out of the steerage, n generation or two ago? Phila delphia Public Ledger. !lssiioliilHieiit, "What did the ever are In him that mnde her want to marry hlni?" "Nothing, Blio married him because she wanted n home." "Poor glrll Aud tie took her to n tint I"- Chicago Tribune. Nov England Thrift. THE proportion of men and women who retire on small competencies Is doubtless greater In Maachu setts than In any other State lu the Union, unless It be Pennsylvania, which Is the oilier State of Dr. It Is success In any laudable under taking that counts not the measure of that success In dollars and cents and the time vC-111 come In this republic when merit and not money will be the standard of success. When that day arrives the cultured, educated man will take his rightful position. In the meantime he Is satisfied to wait Tho Minimum Wage. INDIANA has a minimum wage law. enacted in 1001. It provides that no one employed on work done by or for counties, cities or tonus shall be paid less than twenty cents nu hour. The act was passed at the demand of organized labor, and the purpose, of course, was to estab lish a standard minimum rate of living wages. While It was not believed that the State could enact any law mak ing a minimum wage In private business. It was Imagined that municipal corporations could be required to pay a minimum wage or more for work done which would be come a common standard. The Supreme Court of. the State has pronounced the law unconstitutional, as being And now thero are Intimations that If Ilussla Insists on retaining Manchu ria It will not be possible to dislodge bcr. What difference! We might as well be worrying about dislodging Great Ilrltaln In East Africa. Euro pean nations are going on with their schemes of conquest and expansion, and our sensible course is to remain friendly with all of them, but keep them out of this continent E. Coste, president of the Canadian Mining Institute, recently read a pa per before that body attacking the the ory generally held by geologists that Detroleum resnlta fi-nm tho ,1 tlon of animal and vegetable organic an lmProPer Interference with the liberty of contract. If remains. One point made by Mr. Coste thc I-lslature has the right to prescribe and enforce a is that this process of fornilnn netro- "'" " " iuer o prescnoe u (....--(.u ... .. in, ,.i.u ,,ui ,uuhuc noun lu ilKes, uhi proceed to tlx the prices of corn and potatoes. The court concludes that counties, cities and towns stand upon the same footing as private or quasi-public corporations, and cannot be compelled to pay more than Its market value for any property or labor. Roston Herald. Benjamin Franklin's residence. Hut n man who has even the most robust respect for the thrift of the pcoplo of Massachusetts must be surprised to learn from the report of the Stnte's Ilureau of Labor Statistics that there are more than 45.000 such persons 28.000 men and 17.000 women. Two-thirds of them uro natlvo born, too. Theso persons who hare retired on competencies are apparently not. as n rule, the owners of largo fortunes. Indeed, most men ef large fortunes. It Is safe to say, da not retire till physical Infirmities compel them. In the list are an amazing number who are farmers more than 3,500 whereas less than 3,300 were merchants. Even the re tired blacksmiths number 359. and there aro 1,070 "labor ers" on this list World's Work. leum has nowhere been found In ac tion. He thinks that If this were ac tually the mode of production or gen eration It would pretty certainly be found going on somewhere at the pres ent time on some scale, great or smalt He further argues that the decomposi tion of organic remains, especially an imal, la so rapid and complete that there Is no opportunity for the preser vation of such a residuum In rocks. He points out too, that the oil deposits are found mostly In formations which existed before tho carboniferous de posits and when there was but very little vegetable life on the earth. Fi nally he reasons that If petroleum were were due to the destructive dis tillation of coal there' would now be no coal beds, as the coal would long 0: Religious people In the United States spend annually between $33,000,000 and $40,000,000 for new church build ings, and for every day in the year there are built and dedicated some-1 ago have been transformed Into pe-1 convenience nnd pleasure of good roads nre admitted. They LTuieuui suu a coneuse resiunum. Mr. improve social conuitions in ine countryside nnd Invite taste's conclusion that petroleum docs Tho Cause of Good Roads, NE of the most striking evidences of the civilization reached by Itome are the remains of her great high ways. It Is said that 50,000 miles of roadways were built by the Itomans, structures which In their decay are the envy of the modern road builders. It Is n reflec tion on the American name that In the older States, which have been organized communities for more than two cen turies, there are thousands of miles of roads that nre practically In no better condition now then they were In the early days. In Pennsylvania thero nre thousands of miles of roadway maintained In no better fashion than they were at the beginning of the last century. The value, where between twelve and fifteen new churches. The Church Economist makes the computation, which seems ft pretty good antidote for pessimism. It Is bard to argue that "the world Is Waxing evil" In the face of such an expenditure for the worship of God and the servlco of man. V Sato tho Big Trees. HE giant sequoias of California form n natural won der and beautiful scenic feature absolutely unique. How far the rumor that their existence la In danger may be true Is not quite apparent, but It seems cer tain that tho Calaveras tirore at least Is threatened with extinction. It must be remembered that there are at least tire hundred trees In California which are really entitled to be called glnnt trees, nnd that these are found lu many rather widely separated groups. The Mariposa Grove, near tho Yoscmltc Valley, Is owned and cared for by the State of California, while the United States holds at National parks two tracts of land on which big trees stnnd. The Calaveras group, the tlrst to be discovered, contains about a hundred very One giant trees, nnd has been well main talned and preserved. It Is private property, and, of late years nt least, has not yielded a reasonable profit on tho price paid by the present owner. $100,000. There Is, there fore, great danger that the trees may bo cut down and sold -It Is snld that a single sequoia might yield 50,000 feet of lumber. It seems evident that California should have pur chased the Calaveras Grove nt tho very modernto price named above, but the State authorities have hoped that the United States would buy the tract as a National park; Con gress, however, has seemed averse to this, and has refused an appropriation for the purpose. It Is now suggested that a public subscription should be made, or that an Individual benefactor should present the famous grovo to the nation In one way or another tho destruction threatened should be averted. New York Outlook. j M l.nst. Netting 111 m Itlilit. Mr. Wabnsh-1 hear your family went South for tint winter. Miss llnckbay (precise Ilostoness) Not nt all. They went South for tho absence of winter peculiar to that lo-rullty.-Phltadelphla Press. I.Ik a Picture. Mr, Goodword- -Yea, Indeed, aim made quite, an Impression upon me. Hlie reminds inn of an old-fashioned picture. Miss Spelti-Alil you noticed, then? Mr. Goodword-What? Miss Hpelti That she's painted. Philadelphia Press. It la future. "Tommy," snld the teacher, "I'm sur prised at you. Do you know what will happen to you If you continue to tell stories?" "Sure." replied Tommy, "I'll get asked when I grow up to inako after dinner speeches," "Why does siibbubs always carry that load of machinery In and out each day?" "Why, that's his patent contrivance for raising cur windows." Perooael Kiirleiic. Crlttlck Is this tho poem you sub mitted to thu editor? Poet Yes. Crlttlck-Wby, It's feet aro all wrong. Poet-Perhaps so, but tho editor's weren't I got oua of them all right. The M'rlcome Crow. I heard litui today with lili "chit I caw! envvl" And It nunded niliihty cood. After paying twenty dollars a lou for eii.il And twelve per cord for wood. Norway (Me.) Advertiser. Till. U Awful, 'John." said tho mother of a squal ling Infant, "what do you suppose Is tho matter with tuiby? "rll-o fever, more'n likely," replied tho heartless father. It Dllfereiit. YimngliulH-There's nothing like mat rimony for teaching a young man tho value of money. uiuweil That's right. A dollar n man gives to his wife looks twice as big as the dollar ho blew In on her during courtship. Waste of Tim. Little .Wlllle-Hny, pa, what prnlltlrss enterprise? Pa Telling hair raising stories to u haldhcadcd man, my son. II Kernel the Money, While Ilussla Is as steadily and as stealthily pushing ber expansion along several lines, she naturally prefers that of least resistance, which at present appears to be that of Manchuria. But even there she may go slow now for a time, walking softly, but still carrying a club. When she Is checked In one direction she turns to another, even If the check bo but diplomatic, and we shall not be surprised If In the Balkan question her energies now find their most publicly active play. Ilussla may find an outlet for domestic discontent In "a spirited foreign policy." The sit uation at least favors the supposition. Things are going badly for Ilussla now, Thero Is great discontent and not a Ilttlo suffering. In some of Its aspects the situation suggests that of Franco Just before 1780. Much, If not everything, depends upon the army. If tho Itusslan nrmy Is actively em ployed It cannot let the throne slip off Its bayonets, whereas If It continues quartered among a distressed people the kin of men In the ranks, sympathy with the people may lead It to Imitate not come from organic remains may be correct, but If so It does not con tribute anything to our stock of affirm ative knowledge. It may serve In a negative way to assist In the discov ery of petroleum by teaching that It may be found where no considerable organic remains are present It docs not assist at all In forming a con jecture as to the extent of the deposits or their probable exhaustion. The the ory of organic origin raises a presump tion In favor of continuous deposition so long ns organisms nre genernted, die and are decomposed. But also If It Is of other origin there may be continu ous deposition, for changes nre con tinually occurring In Inorganic as well as In organic matter. In fact, there would be no organic matter were there no nntecedent changes In Inorganic matter. While Mr. Coste's conclusion adds nothing. If It Is true, to our stock of affirmative knowledge, It may serve a useful purpose In stimulating efforts to ascertain tho rent nature and source of a substnnce which has come to All so Important a place In the supply of various human needs. HAS MUNICIPAL ICE FACTORY City of Wolverhampton In llnclund Successfully Conducts One. The first municipality In England to estcbllsh a municipal Ice factory under the approval of the local government board Is Wolverhampton, says the Mu nlclpal Journal and Engineer. The board has authorized the council to make Ice and sell It to 'Its customers and will allow any surplus to be pur chased by other traders. Despite the many objections that were raised against this undertaking, on the ground that It wus too doubtful for any municipality to assume, the offi cials went ahead with thejr plans. The council fortunately decided to Incorporate with the Ice factory cold stores and this union of Interests yields better results than If the cold stores were undertaken ulone. In fact the men Interested In the work felt that to cut out the manufacture of Ice from the schemo would absolutely rulu It rrom a llnanclal standpoint The estimated demand for Ice In Wolverhampton Is about 1,000 tons a year and a manufactory producing seven tons a day could meet this con sumption; hut to provide for any pos' Bible Increase In the city, a plant of ten tons output per day was-Installed and arrangements were made so that What Education Teaches. The great thing In all education, says a noted professor In the Beacon, Is to make our nervous system our ally In stead of our enemy. It Is to fund and tho conduct of tho French soldiery and capitalize our acquisitions and live at ,uls C0UU bo ncreased ,0 twcntT tons, "rior-llnn in not " Tho ot.h . c h Infarct f t.o rA .. w intmy ions ...,,vu,v-ul.-jr ui . ...vw .-v ........ u necessary, tuo cost of the build- employing the army, In which dlsnf- For this wo must make automatic and Ings ami msuiatliig was estimated at t -- i'.vuu., biuwiub among uaimum, us eany as possiuie, us uiuuy $:8,o00 and for this necessary mnchln- both officers nnd men, was one of the useful actions as we can, nnd guard eTJ anj appliances $18 760 making a Inciting causes of Ilussia's attack on against the growing Into tho ways that total of $17,250. It Is estimated that Turkey In 1877. aro likely to be disadvantageous to the runniuc exnenses will t xinooi us, as we should guard ngnlnst the which Includes 2A ner cent allow jsienuing siucKings mignt well be piague. me more oi me aeiuus oi our for dcoreclat on and s Ink nir fnmi nn,i thought a prosaic occupation, If not a da"y Ufe we "an naD(l over to tha cf- Interest on the loan. Tho cold stores auu one. me woman wno sits down I oniess cusiouy or auiomaionism, mo nave a capacity of 22,500 cubic feet every week before twenty pairs, worn uy active rect, Dig and little, often finds the pile discouraging, although she would not hare It smaller by a tingle pair. But there Is a curious, half-mysterious charm In the work. It Is as If it typified all wifely and moth erly duty. Even the maiden aunt, with a darning-needle In ber baud, has the air of tho matron. The coziest corner In the bouse Is most nt for the stock lug basket and Its presiding genius. An Incontestable verdict against a gorgeous palace recently built by a rich man was pronounced by a woman, herself both refined and rich; "There Isn't a spot In the whole bouse -where I could darn a stocklngl" It It amus ing or pathetic but true, that the mod ern stocking should have taken tho placo held by the medieval shield. To more the higher powers of mind will be set free for their own proper work. Thero Is no more miserable human bo- lng than ono In whom nothing Is ha bitual but Indecision, and for whom the drinking of every cup, the time of rising and going to bed every day, and the beginning of every bit of work, aro subjects of express volitional delibera tion. Full half the time of such a man goes to the deciding, or regretting, of matters which ought to be so Ingrained In him as practically not to exist for his consciousness at all. If there be Buch dally duties yet not Ingrained In any one of my readers, let blin begin this very hour to set the matter right. A ten-cent argument often ends In a $10 quarrel. A woman Is never 30 until t bo is 40 bide ot bom and polish the shield was I or married. which If let at 20 cents per foot will produce $1,500, and calculating on four mouths, 1,300 tons of Ice at $0.25 per ton, would bring In $8,125, a total of $12,025 and a profit of $1,030. Tho borough engineer, after consider ing the different methods of commer cially producing cold, such as cold air, liquefaction, vacuum, absorption and compression systems decided on the one In use. This was tho one In which the cold Is produced by an ammonia compression machine. The three prin cipal methods of transmitting the cold were the direct expansion system, In which ammonia Is directly expanded Into a series of tubes bung from tho celling; the brine circulation system; nnd the cold air current system, In which tho tubes, whether dry or wet, are placed In a chamber and air Is (caused to flow over them. Mr, Brad-J THE NEW BRITISH SUBMARINE DESTROYER. This Is tho type of the new submarine boat destroyer which has been approved by the Urltlsh navy. In addition to carrying the regular torpedo tube and. projectile In the bow, the strange craft Is equipped with an "outrigger" torpedo, charged with tlilrty-tlvc pounds of gun cotton, which Is pushed against the submarine or other ship to be destroyed. ley chose tho last as the most prefera blc system. The cold Is produced by tho evapora tion of anhydrous ammonia In a series of wrought-lron colls submerged lu n rectangular tank containing brine. In the brine are the molds In which the. Ice Is formed. The cold brine congeals the water In the tanks and the clear Ice Is produced by tho use of hydrnu lie agitation gear, by means of which tho small quantity of air lu tho water Is extracted. After the ammonia has been evaporated In the Ico tank colls the vapors are drawn back Into the compressor nnd delivered Into nu am monla condenser on the roof of tho engine bouse, where they are liquefied. The work of cooling In the cold rooms Is produced In a similar manner, but Instead of the evaporator Colls be ing submerged In a tank they are built up in the form of a battery. This Is placed In a duct which Is so nrrauced mat air is drawn In nt ono end by means of an electrically driven fan, and being cooled by tho colls, Is dis tributed from tho other end to tho vari ous storerooms. The admntage of this system Is the entire absence of mois ture on account of tho cold, dry air used, and a further advantage Is tho fact that tho whole power of tho plant may be concentrated In any ono place If It Is desired to cool such room rapidly. Electricity In tlio Blot. In England the Sunderland town council has decided to supply elec tricity for tho lighting of tho work men's dwellings owned by the. munic ipality on the penny-In-tho-Blot prln clple, one penny to pay for an eight candle power light lasting five aud oco fifth hours. lust the Pame. Stern Father What nn unearthly hour that young fellow stops till every night, Dora. What does your mother say about It? Daughter She says men haven't al tered a bit since she was young. Kelallnllun. "What do you think of my wlfo se lecting my tics nnd shirts?" "Terrible!" "How enn I get oven?" "Why, go out nnd select her spring lint." like you're 'lento help tho blind.' "But you don't look blind," 'I ain't, air, but the 'blind man' has gono out to sco the baseball gnme, and rm taking his placo till ho gets back. sir." Iletter than a Telephone. Duffy What I say to my wlfo goes. Meeker Is It osslble! Duffy Yes. As soon ns I lenvo the house she goes over and repeats It tu her mother. A Chance for Bister. IWen at That. Gus-Tho Idea of his saying I had more money than brains. Quite ridic ulous. Jack That so? Gus-Of course. Why, I haven't got a cent Jack-Well? Wasn't In the Almanac "Say, Silas," queried old Mrs. Meder- gras, "what be that air Monroe dock- trlu th' papers hev so mutch tow sar nbout?" "I dunno exacktly." replied Silts. "but I reckon ex lieow It's sum new fangled cure fer sumthln' or nuttier." Museum Is 2JW0 Yeurs Old. A museum of tho sixth century, B. C., has come Into tlio possession of tuo University of Pennsylvania. Tlio mu seum Is not big. being contained In a 1 my sister, w., ,1.1.-11 jur, uui mu coiueius nro very vuluable from n blstoricnl point of view. Ethel I sco you have discarded all finery of late, Mllllcenl Yes, you seo I found that ribbons and Inces were dragging me down to perdition, bo I gave them to Prober Cauer. Mrs. Wsggs (reodlng)-A well- known physician lays that ono should never go Into the wntcr after a hearty meal. Wnggs-That's right. It's Iwtler to go Into a first-class restaurant after It If one happens to liavo tho price. At Drowsy vlllc. "Wo used to iiitas that nhrommoda. tlon train every morning." "V lint do you do now tbnt ther have taken It off?" "Why, wo miss It more than ever." Whether tho specimens were exca vated or purchased Is not known, but they undoubtedly represent a collec tion which must have been made dur ing the time of Bclshazzar, since it wns found In ono of tho upper strata nt Nippur. The best specimen In tho Jar Is nn Inscription containing tho titles of Sar gon I., who liver nbout 3800 B. O. Thero Is a black stono tablet of Ur Our, 2700 II. a. which tells that this king built tho great wall around tho city of Nippur. Then there Is tho terra 'cottn brick stamp of Bur-Sin, which Is tho first yet f,ound of that king. Another tab- lot stntcs tbnt the largo ball of the templo was cnlled lEmakli. and that thero were twenty-four other shrines to gods In tho templo besldis tho ones that bnvo been found of Bel nud his consort, Ileitis. Oranges. Some exceedingly flu0 oranges como up out of Mexico the nraugo maggot Is nwnre of that but they quickly go to pith. Florldas and Callfornlns nl most alone bnve staying qualities nnd that deep, satisfactory bouquet which a touch of frost Imparts. Magistrate What Is your occuna. tlon? Witness Pm a lawyer, your honor. Magistrate Well, try to forget it whllo giving your testimony. Oreut Show. Lrnlc Mabel wns engaged four times down nt the beach last summer. She said It was a regular circus. Edith Sort of a four-ring affair, I suppose Ilrlalit Hellenic, Paraon Brother, how can wo pro- vom every ono rrom donating cop. pers? Dcncotf-Oh, I have n good scheme. We'll take up the collection with cash register. Iletwcen I'rlcnds. Mnyme I beur you are going to be married again. Edyth-Agaln? Why, I've novcr been tied up as yet. Mnyme Noj but I can't recall the number of times you were "going to oe. Where She Pound It. Grnco-Why, Ethell How could you tell all the news lu Mary's letter so soon xou haven't even read It Ktuei wen, you see, dear, I rend the postscript first Yonkcrs States man. Oreek Meetlnir tlreek. Towno Met Gabbla and Perkins at a smoker last night, and Introduced thorn to each other. Browne Oh, Buy, It's a shamo to In troduco a bore llko Gabble to any- pouy. Towno It's evident you don't know Perkins, or you'd see tho humor of It -Philadelphia Press. One Man'e Wisdom. Ping Thoro goes n man worth $3,000,000 and bo mndo every dollar of It In trade. Pong-Well, nil I've got to tar Is that I don't want to trudo with a nun llko that Her Comment. Softlctgh Yaas.'I uhvays cahwy an umbrella, doncber know. Miss Cutting I always sutnectcd that you didn't know enough to go lu wbcu It rains. Worrying a Had Habit. Worrying It n habit that grows very rapidly. Tho more It Is Indulged tho stronger It becomes. When you dis cover that you are its victim, Just stop and consider: Aro you gaining anything from It? If so, what Is tha gain? Aro you losing anything from It health, strength, cheerfulness, tho power of helping others and the op portunity of doing tho next best thins- at hand? Whatever you do, don't toy, "iiui i can't neip ui" Colossal Counter Claim. It Is bard to get ahead of some girls. Ono who was presented with a bill for UO for money spent on her by a re jected suitor nearly frightened him to death by only threatening to put In a bill for ono shilling npleco for all the kisses he had taken during the court. thlp. Sparo Moments. Mighty rivers rise lu quiet places. but like somo men tho .further away from home they get the moro nolss they make. A moment's auger years of sorrow. may result In r