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About Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907 | View Entire Issue (April 24, 1903)
1 A Tale of the Early Settlors
DY AUQTIN C. DURDICK
" Chopart wit it bold, reckless man. end
ruel and ararlclotis. II had cotuittcnc
cil hla career m comtnaiiiler t the
Natcltee fort by cruelty to hlt.own mm,
liut on or two (rare complalnti made
to (lor. rrlr hud coin nigh earning hi
reniorel, anil li trt th whltre b In
peace, but expended hi wrath upon the
Iioor Indiana. II waa now much elated,
for lie was aur tint the beautiful Tillage
of th Whit Apple would an6n b 111",
and h meant to pocket inurh money In
th traiiaartloii, On da h aat In hi
rud house, with aome of hta etteudanta
bout hliu, when a aoldlar demanded ad
"How now, alrraht" b demanded, a
the mail entered.
"I bat com wtb a warning," th tol
"Hal a warning Speak out."
"An old woman primed my poet till
'morning, monalcur, and ah bad tn t r ll
th French to he on tlivlr guard, for dau
ber threatened tliam."
"And from whom?"
"Vrom 111? luillan. They will rli and
liutcher u all."
"liar 7011 apoken of tula before?"
"I hay not."
"Thn yon ahalt not tell It to other!"
cried Chopart, In anger, "liar you not
arm tnouith of tbla ldl fear? What ho
At thla call, two soldlera ntrd, who
tiaually aloud In th panne to obey th
"Take Oil fellow and lock htm up In
th prlaon," he ordrrrd. "Wd aoon
har th rrd rata down upon u If thry
knrw w llred In fearl They dare not
offer u harm. Away with hlml"
And for rnnreylng tbla Intelligence th
jtoor man wa fast Into a atrong 'dungeon,
and there kept for mural daya with hla
fret In the atocka.
Hut thla waa nut the only not of warn
ing Chopart had. Tour day afterwarda.
a aoldler came to him and Informed him
that the Indiana aurrly meditated the dt
atrurtlvn of the forL aud of all ll whit
"Out, fooll" exclaimed Chopart, an-
frlly. 'The old hag who told you thla
only Ihtnka lo frighten tie. Kite thlnka
that by netting onr frara ah can fright
en 11 Into Hiring up our plan of taktnif
their. Tillage of the White Apple. Whatl
would ye ahow to the Indiana that w
Xrared them? Away with auch Idle fool
I'rlckrd Ann waa aatottndrd at the In'
fatultlon of tho French commander, and
41 a'laat retort ah went to Chopart'a
lieutenant, a man named Mace, who, ah
imagined, would bar aome Influence
with hi auperlor. Hut err.it thla prorrd
abortive. She told Mare that deatructlnn
would aurely fall upon them If they did
not lak aom mean to keep the Indiana
away rrom tn fort. Hut on the rery
next day Chopart Invited all the Indiana
to a banu.net, and pledged hie frlrndahlp
10 ineru anew.
With a feeling of otter coniternatlnn.
I'rlckrd Arm returned to her lodge. On
Tnlug b aongbt Whit Hand' dwell.
Ing, ,for ah had a faint Idra working
through her mind that th Krtnch youth
might har aome Influence In all tbla. She
knew that he had been originally doomed
to death io go and Intercede face to face
"with th wblt nian'a God, but ah had
xierer yet folly known why he waa-eper-ed.
She found While Hand alone. II
gated eagerly Into her fat, for h waa
anxloua to know how bar work progrrie
"Whit Hand," ah aald. apeaking ab-
rnptiy, "way war yon apared from death
worn yon Bret earn her I"
"That I might marry Coqualla," replied
"Hut waa there nothing li?" aaked
the old woman, looking him eharply In
u race. 1
"Why, ," returned White Hand.
paklng with aom diffidence, for th real
reaaon aeemed ao foollah and rldlculoua
to blm that h almoat feared he ahould
be laughed at for apeaking of It.
"And what waa that?"
"Why. I promlaed to pray to th white
man' Mod that none of th wlckednra
of the French might ucceed, and alto
to tell him how .baacly th rod men had
been wronged by th Inradera; for I waa
of that people, and tbey auppoird that I
anoulil har aom InUuenc with my Bu
"That'a It I" th aged princess groaned1.
-with, her handa folded acroaa her boaom.
"How?" aaked th youth, In surprise.
"I knew that th Oreat Bplrlt had a
land In thla work, Th fort at Natchca
la doomed paet all. hoper
"It ll. The laat stick will be remoTed'
- . - 1 . 1. .1 i . . . . ...
io-wtti(uiT, iuu turn mm uiuw mui rani
"No th blow fall on the daT after.
The fatal atlcka mark th Interrenlug
"And mttat all faltT all alir
"All at, Natcbea, but -not elsewhere, for
th other wait yet anotcer week, and
-er that time th white will be warned,
Hut what nola la that? llarkl There
are ahouta of welcome."
They both started for tti door, where
they were met by Stung Serpent, who
caught the youth by the arm and forced
him Into th houae again.
"White Hand," he aald, apeaking quick
ly and aternly, "remember your oath, for
your aalration may now urpena npon It,
The whit men har corns to carouse la
the Whit AdpI. Beware that you do
not forget youraelfl Bhall we trust you?
Mind all la wall wiw you ir you ar
"Fear hot, my father," apoke the youth,
unable to repreaa the trembling that eelt-
,l hi llmba.
"Then you may conduct Coqualla to the
It waa a calm, warm night, and In the
center of the great equate wore built two
Area of pitch-wood to aerro aa, tprchea,
and here th white mm and the red were
gathered In aoclal confab and amuaeuient
There were orer a hundred white mm
there, and at their bead waa Chopart him
elf. I.ouia recognlied him at once aa a
liruial man whom he had one aeen at
New Orleana flogging an Indian girl.
Moat of th white were decent looking
mens but beforo the night had 'paaicd
away, White Hand ahrank away to hla
lodge, and'ae be laid hla aching head
upon hla pillow he drew Ooqualla clo
to blm, and In a alnklug tone he mur
"Alna! I am aahnmed of my own peo
With all their advantagea of birth
nnd education with the enlightenment of
agea aa their heritage, they are but ear-
The next day found lomo doicn of the
iPr,,M,.!i atlll at the Indian Village.
IJut tlie Great Sun hlmaelfi with a few
of till wnrrlora,, accompanied them to th
town, ani) ,tney tn nark immarcn prom
laed Chopart that, In conalderatlnn of hla
ktn,dneaa In allowing them to remain ao
long In their village, they would bring
more thntt the quantity of corn pronilard.
"On tho morrow." It aald. "wn will
com with our tribute of corn, double
wnnt wa promiaeti, ami on tne neii tiny
wo Bhitll Ivav the Tillage of tho Wblt
"Hut ator." crle.1 Chopart. "wr wilt
hare 0110 more cnrouaal ere w part. Thla
night you ahall bring your warrlora here,
ami we'll cheer our aoula."
Our white .brother apeak kindly," re
turned the (Iretil Hum "but will he not
be wroth at the rudetiea of my people)"
No. tiring them, and we'll pledge
"Thy red brother will come."
"And hla brdrti with hlmr
"It shall be to."
And that night aaw th acen of ca-
rouaal changed to Natchei. And thr
tbey tat the doomer and the doomed I
And they pledged rtrrnal friendship! Th
white man had, planuxl to rob th r4
mau of hip birthright tn drive him from
hi horn, profane hi tempi, and plow
up. hi father' gravral Th rd man
had planned to krep hla home, to main
tain aacrrd hla temple, to guard well hla
father' grarra, and that thla ahould be
done, th Invader' wa to b awpt away!
It waa a itrange pudge, but th wtiite
man waa the llrat to offer It.
It waa after midnight when they arp-
aratrd, and the atara lighted the Natchca
to tbrlr hornet. When they reached their
village, the (Irrat Hun, lo company with
hla chlrfa and noblra, went to th tent
pie and antared. They approached the
place where the atlcka had hung, but
there were none thr now. Th-leamarn
thong hung agalnat the wall, but there
waa nothing In them,
"Chief, nobl and warrlora of th one
powerful Natchei, may not thla b th
eve of our re-awaknlng Th day I
paat th morn cotntth! Bhall not th
Natchei once more atand at th head of
nation? To-morrqw we open the path,
and henceforth from that time let our
enemlra beware! The Great Spirit la with
ua, wbllo the white man'a Ood baa fop
aaken blm. What ahall we fear? Sleep
now, but alrep not too aoundly nor too
long. Let the aun find ua ready to bid
him welcbrae ao ahall we do honor to
the parent of our great flrat klngl"
Thua apoke the Oreat Bun, and aa be
ctoied, he moved alowly towarda the
door, aud hla rfilrfa followed blm; and
ere long afterwarda the Tillage of th
White Apple waa wrapped In alienee; but
titer were two there who lept not,
Whit Hand atlll prayed thafthe coming
death blow might not extend to hla fath
er, and, tho wlih kept Bleep from hi eyre.
And he who watched the aacred fire now
felt hla duty doubly binding, and aleep
cam not to him, aa ha atlll kept up nla
At an early hour the Oreat Bun and
Slung Serpent were aatlr, and when the
flrat raya of the morning aun darted Into
the beautiful Tale, they rratrd upon all
the warrlora of tho Natchei there ar
armbled. Huch aa bad plitola carefully
loaded them, and hid them away with
their hunting knlrea In their boioma.
Their tomabawka were aharpenrd and
along to their belli, and all took tltrir
gttna. Then each man of tho common
elaaa went and got hla bag of corn, and
having aet It down, tbey commenced their
war dance. Hut tbey made not auch hide-
oui nolie aa uaual only rnough to pro-
nlllate the Oreat Hplrlt, and make him
acquainted with tbelr intent,
It waa well In the morning when they
at out. and by th middle of th forenoon
they reached Natchez, iney entered tb
place dancing and alnging, and atraighi
way carried their corn to the fort Then
the red mm began to aeparate aome tbla
war and aome that. Every houa had
one or ruor Tlaltora, according to the
number, of people In It. Home begged for
milk, aome aaked to bay powder and ahot.
for which they promlaed to pay in corn
at aome future day. A richly atored
barge lay at. the pier, which bad com up
th day be Tore, ana on poara tola a num
ber of Indiana crowded. Into the fort
they crept by different waya, presenting
tbemaelvet wherever thtre wa a whit
man. until at length tbey were dlimbut
rd whervr there waa a blow to be
At length a aort of aolemn atlllneat
reigned orer the devoted town, though
the death-angel had huehed all heart.
Hut hark I What la that horrid yell that
cornea from th fort a yell that make
the rery blood frerieand cauae the
hair to atand on end? What ar those
fearful crlea thoe maniac ahouta and
thoie dripalrlng groana?
The general elimination of the
French took ao little time that the execu
tion of the deed and the preceding elgnala
were almost one and the aame thing. One
alngle dlacharge cloaed the whole affair.
It coat the Natcbea only twelve mm to
destroy two hundred and fifty, through
the fault of the commanding officer, who
alone deterred the fate which waa abat
ed by hla' unfortunate com'panlona.
Bom half doun Frenchmen cacaped,
aa by a miracle, thla general maiaacre,
and made their war to New Orleana In
aafetr. Th women and children of the
-whites wer jnpatly, eared to be kept aa
Of course the Natcbea auppoaed that
all the white In the country were now
dead. Not on of them dreamed that
ther had been deceived Into atrlklng a
week too early. So tbey carouied in the
town all night, and on the next morning
ther etarted for their Tillage. They had
apared two men whom they retained aa
priionere, and who eacaped from them
after haying aerved them aom weeka.
One waa a wagoner, named Mayeux, who
waa kept to transport the good of the
French to the Indian Tillage; and the oth
er waa tailor named-Lebeau, wboae aer
vlcea they wanted in faihlonlng th
Krnrh i-armenta to their own use.
On th next morning, White Hand waa
startled by th return of th Natchei.
II went out, but hi heart alckened at
th acene he waa dtatlned to witness,
Two hundred and fifty human haaa
Bu.t Ujoae, who. know th Indian charter
ter can Imagine th horrid orgies they
might-hold when fired with rerenge and
flushed with rlctorr. lCrca the hlatorlan,
who deala only wth atubborn facta, la) a
down hla pen lh allent horror when he
finda himself In the mldat of Lebeau'a
narrative of what be atw In the Indian
Tillage, and blda hla readera spare him
White Hand crept back to hla lodge,
and Ooqualla found -him there pale and
faint. She bathed hla temples and brow.
and after a while he rorlred, but bo dar
ed not Tenture out.
"Alaa, my companion (" murmured the
prlnceae, "they make horrjd pomp over
their Tlctory, but It.naa coat tnem aear,
thnueh ther realtto it not now. My peo
ple are now blind, but they ahall awake
to aenae and sight and know that the
lit man of them all la gone!"
"Ooqualla?' uttered tho youth, atartlng
up. It waa a mere interrogative,
"My father la wounded, ren unto
death." And at the maiden thus apoke
aba bowed her head and the big tears
trickled down between her Bngert.
"When? How?" aaked Whit Hand,
forgetting for the moment th deep terror
of bit own ton! In th cr!t of hi
"II received a Millet in nil uoaom ye
trrday. Hut he aent me for you. Come."
Whit Hand aron and followed uo-
quatla from the lodge. In the center of
the great miuare, before the temple there
waa a fire kindled, but the youth dared
not, look towarda It. He knew It terrl
blu.purpoae, and with quickened atepa he
hurried, atopplng hla ear with hi finger
to "hut out lit aounda that fell upon hla
rare. Hut fortunately he had not far to
go. When he rnlerrd Htung Herpenl'a
dwelling, he found tho women there cry-
rig and yelling In deapalr. upon hla bed
of llearaklna lay Htung Berpent, Breathing
heavily, and rcr and anon railing hla
heat! to llatrn to the aounda that cam
front the aiinare. When hi eyi reited
upon Whit Hand, h beckoned th youth
forward, at the tam time bidding tn
other atand back.,
"Hit the down by my aide, he aald,
for I har much to aay to thee."
Quickly th youth a at down, for h
hoped h ahould now know iomr thing
that wer only bli at preaent by auapl-
(To b continued.)
ONE WAY TO SMASH TRUSTS.
Haw JplUr flavin Knocked Oat a
CArner In (ilrnsnUn Hectar.
The boas of high Olyinpu looked np
from hla cup with a wr expression.
"What' tho mattor, Jupe?" Inquired
Juno, at the dipped Into the ambrosia
"It't thlt nectar," replied the eminent
Olympian. "It ain't up to the ttandard.
What' the mutter with It?"
In my opinion," ttld Juno, aa the
took a apoonful of the honey of Hybla,
It' all tho fault of the trust. They
hare let the quality run down.- And
at the aame time they have railed thr
Tnitt!" cried Jupiter. "What trutt
Is that I"
"Tho Olympian Nectar trust' replied
Judo. "I thought you knew all about
It. Mercury Is the president nnd gen
eral manager, and he' nnd Apollo art)
the board bf director. Mnrs wanted to
buy In, but they wouldn't let him. They
claimed ho wa too quarrelsome. They
gar Neptune 100 aharcs of preferred
on condition that ho'd help them water
the stock. I thought you beard of It
at tho tlmo."
Jupiter looked black, snye the CloTe-
land rutin Dealer, at ho puahed away
from tho table.
"I hear of It now for the first time,
ho growled, and tho echoes of bit growl
reverberated among- the dlttant bills,
"And what's more, I don't expect to
hear of It ngRln. Syndicate my nectar,
will tbeyt Why. blttroo their peaky
hides, what do tbey mean by It?"
Tho.-c. there, Juple, said Juno, In
her most soothing tone, "don't get so
riled. Tho tioys didn't know bow rcxed
you'd feel about It,"
"Well, they'll soon find outl Haven't
tbey a plant somewhere, or eom
There It Is," said the statuesque on.
as she pointed to a lower terrace.
Jupiter grimly smiled.
"We won't hare to wait for any Su
preme Court decision In this case," h
remarked, as be stepped to tho nearest
cupboard and drew out what looked to
be a half-dozep metallic skyrockets.
At sight of them Juno Rare a Ilttl
scream and put her hands orer her
cars. A moment later jopuer stooa
by the open window and drew back
hit mattlre arm. There was a blind
ing flash and a startling report, and
the nectar pUnt on tbe termed below
trembled to Its -baser Thunderbolt fol
lowed thunderbolt, and when tbe sixth
was thrown thero wotn'f a reatlge of
the building left.
"There." said Jupiter, as ba wiped
bit handt on his nspkln and cattily re
sinned hit seat at the table,- "I fancy
that's one war of solrlnr tbe trust
probleni. Tatt tbe nightingale-tong-oei.
VERSATILE MB. HILL. '
Kallroa Hasaati Whs ICaaw How te
Handle a Trtld Knatn.
Jamet Ji H Ill's Wonderful Teraatlllty
and irrasu UDon tbe xnultltudo Of detail
of practical ,rallroad management lura
leen a sourco of much comment among
railroad men in recent years. Whll
on a tour over the Great Northern road,
his train, which was going dowp a
steep grade, became derailed, nunnlng
nt a low rate of speed aa the Irnla was,
no damage was sustained by the offi
cials further than a general sbakog up.
Mr. Hill was tho first' man to' alight
when tbe train stoppetl -after nlnulng
seyefal'rodt'along the tietj He found
that the locoinotWe bad been thrown
from tbe rails, and stood watching the
ineffectual efforts of the train crew to
place the engine back on tho track.
Jackscrews wera used, but the, men did
not aeeni to thoroughly understand the
'That won't do," said Mr. HUL "Your
Jacks won't lift it when In that posi
tion." Hut tho men applied the levers, think
ing they would show the president that
they knew tbelr business. The Jacks
slipped, letting the ponderous macblD
down on tbe ties with a bump.
"Xet me set that Jack." said Mr. Hill:
"I don't think It will slip then." And,
grabbing the screw, he set It at an In
cllno to his own satisfaction, and, after
throwing a little sand on the top and
bottom, he exclaimed, "Now go ahead."
The train men were a little dubious at
first, but tbey applied the levers, and
the hugo machine slowly lifted Itself
Into .place, nad. slld.quletly. ojtto Jh
rolls, tuo aciay was oniy twenty min
utes, Now York Times.
, Question of Degree.
The philosophy of human oxlttence
was discussed In tho presence of the
reiiretentattveiof'the Washington Star,
"It It my, opllilpn," 'remarked the flrst
sage, "that a man who has a college de
gree. Is .very likely to be successful In
life.". ., , .., , ,
"True," 'aritwerod the other, freth
from the reports. of tbd commencement
exercises to, the neyvtbapewl "and It It
a rut that works, both ways. A man
who is successful lu Ufa Is very likely
to get'n college degree."
From Habit. "
Mr. Brown Good morning'
Jones; how's your wife? v
Mr. Jones (who Is deaf anddldn'tqulte
undcrstoud)--Very' blustering' aijd dls-
agrecablo again this morning,
Grief hallows hearts even while It
ages heads. Bailey.
SUPPOSE WE SMILE.
I V 1
HUMOROUS PAnAQflAPHB FROM
THE COMIC PAPERS.
rint Incident Occurring tb
World Orp-Byln tht Are Cheer
ful to Old or Yotina Vunny H I ac
tion that KTrybodjr Will Knjoy.
"I'm rrnlly worried about Charllo,"
said young Mrs. Torklns.
'What's the trouble?" atkea her
'All my care seenlt to have been In
rain. I wouldn't let blm play golf for
fear he'd get the golf' elbow, nor ping
pong for fear he'd get ping-pong an
'Well, he bat etcaped to far?"
'Yet, Hut I haven't the heart to
aak bltn to stop playing cards, even If
It does lead to his becoming deformed."
"What do you mean?"
"II admitted to me that the poker
hands he Is getting are extremely
painful." Washington Star.
The W7 Nowaday
lawyer The pedestrian has th law
tn hla side.
Injured Man Yes; and tb tutome-
billet on bit back.
. Tb Safest Way.
Jagaon I wouldn't stand for that
If I were you. Why don't you call
him a Har?
Wageou Thafs Jutt what I'll do.
Where, where It your telephone?
The Heat Ua Conld Do.
Hotel Clerk Did you wake up No.
Hell Hoy No, I couldn't wake him
up, to I wok up No. 07 Instead.
A nilpptrr Proposition.
"What were those horrible thumps
I beard In the kitchen this morning?"
"Hutb, George, not so loud. Tb
girls hid a dance In the kitchen last
nlgbt and Mary soaped tbe floor."
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"Gracious, Mrs. Squlggins mutt b
strong, healthy woman."
"Nonsense, she's an Invalid."
"I know; hut sb must be strong to
be able to survive all that nasty medi
cine she takes." Baltimore Herald.
"Statistic show," said the amateur
dentist, "that every- time you draw
your breath somebody dies."
'Terbaps, but if I didn't draw my
breath the somebody who dies tn that
eaao would certainly be mef Balti
rarlahloner Doctor, why don't yon
preach occasionally on heaven or hell?
Th Hev. Dr. Lastly Hair my con
arresatlon feels sure of the one, and
half doesn't believe In th other.
"Too say they're from Nw York?"
"Ar thy In th 'OOT
"Oh I my, no; theyr too retpectabl
"Say, Harker," began Van Albert,
my wlf Insists that I attend tbe
ewlng toclety with her to-nlgnt What
It the bett thing to wear!"
"Wear ear muffs," advlted th x,
Ba xtaav Do.
"What I all that excitement np at
th hotel. Budolphr'
"Why, a man Juat Jumped"
"Out of th window?"
"No: ther wouldn't mind that lie
Jumped his board bill."
Adapted to Flat.
"I that you have taken up, tb
vertical system of penmanthlp. Why
did you do tbatl"
"Oh, haven't you heard? Why, w
are living In a fta$ now." Htnss,tjBX
Varv Braclaa:. 1
The, old colored paracn rose In gro,
tetaue.aigntty and ttldl :;''
"Deah. bruddaht. for d Joat two
months yo' bab.blu droppln' sutpender
button's lu'de collection. Now, If fyo"!!
only drop H Patf 00 uipeuder
.would v,4ry thankful to yo1 alL"
' Th'iT Ar. Indd
Bodrlck-This paper says tbe writers
of historical noTeis take life eaey,
Von .Albert-I don't doubt It Soto
historical novel are enough to kill
rrrled to Kxtreme.
Brown That fellow Jouea It always
rolim to law about aomethtng or other.
Itoblnson That's to. He' even go
ing to marry a girl named Suv Cas-
ITiyaldan t can't diagnose your
wife's caae at all. She aeems to har
sprained neck, lumbago In tho back,
rheumatic knees nnd gout In both feet
Waggles-r-I know what !t la. She,
was reading In the coxy corner and
happened to fall asleep. Smart Bet.
Conldn't Ilnnlto Him.
Orocer I'll give yon 5 centa a head,
for that load of cabbage. Uncle Joan.
Undo Josh I ain't got no plcter ut
mo makln' enny tlch dicker ez that I
kin git 7 ceutt deown tew th' teegar
Edyth-Yes, Jack Is Inclined to flirt a
little, but bis heart Is In th right
Meyme Indeed! now long hat it
been, In your posaetafon?
"Ah, me!" alghed the Tillage editor
as he grasped hit trusty scissors and
began to' dlU the funny column.
"would that I might get my groceries
as I do my Jokes." Chicago Nws.
Mitt Ootrox I wouldn't 'give much
for a proposal that wasn't straight
from the heart
Mr. Poorman How much would you
b willing to give for on that waa?
MlleaI-ast nlgbt I dreamed that I
waa wealthy. What'a that a sign of?
Giles It's a sign that you awok
and found your pipe had gon out
Bnlfklns I say, old man, I have 1
great Ida a burning thought as- 1
lllfkln Have you got It Insured?
Dld ihe'hetp yotf 'lo prdpoi?" "
W11, rather! Sh atked how many
boxes of candy would pay for an en-'
Itw Be heme.
Sh mad' sura of getting a teat on
"Yes. Sh married the conductor."
Up to Date.
Tommy The teacher says you're
tbe wont adder he err saw, and
you'd never get along.
Bobby Say, yon tell htm he's old-
fashioned. When I get big I'll ua
an adding machine.
Mar r "Near" Also.
Jaggtet Ar the relatives of your
near or distant?
Waggles Th ones that har money
ar very distant New York Time.
ha B!IT HI.
Impy Cunlus Of court I am liberal
with my promts. But what I 'prom
ise It nothing Ilk what I will per
form. Mttt Ootrox That's Just whafs
making m cautious. Baltimore
t'Yes, I encouraged that young man
to be aa ortiat," aald th corpulent ma
tron. "Did you offer to buy oa of his pic
tures?" aakdtb friend.
"No, but I gave him an old plc of
Ilk to make a big Windsor tl."
"I bar written dozens of articles
and never had one accepted." alghed
tbe discouraged author.
('Write something on vaccination."
advlted the boaom friend.
"Yea; It might taki."
Oattlns; nt tho Vacta.
Th Comedian "I hear th dramatis
profession It making rapid strides out
The Tragedian", at times; es
pecially when It la necessary to tur
render tne right of - way :'to""an ap
"I trust" tald; the-ward boss "that
we will bi able to roll up a handsome,
majority for you1."
"I don't care whether It't handsome
or not," replied th candidate, "Jutt
so It's a majority."
Oot It Cheaply.
"Got a talking machine at borne?"
"What did you pay for ltr
"Nothing. Married lt"-T!t-Blts.
Not Pin Money.
Maude So sh married and did well?
Annie Yes. She gets $25 a 'week
Maude Fin money?
Annie No; allmony.-Judge.
Th "grandmother remedy" la not al
ways a thing to laugh at, for some
time It cures; but sometimes, too, th
matter or th manner of It seems to
v ........ L. u ".u
tbete health hlnta, which, tay th
Philadelphia Record, were written tn
a family uiDie eignty years ago ny
the great-grandmother of tb pretent
owner of the Bible:
A ttlck of brtmtton worn In the1
pocket I good for them at hat cramps.
" A loadstoan put tn the plac war
tb pain It, It beautiful for the llheu
matls. A basin of water gruel, with half a
quart of old rum In It, with lots of
brown sugar Is good for Cold In Head.
It you have hiccups, pinch1 one of
your wrlttt while you count tlxty or
get tomebody to tctre you and moke
Tbo earache Put onion In your car
after It Is well' roasted.
The consumption Eat at many pea
nutt as' possible beforo gotng to bed.
A girl way tay "No," but she knows
how to retouch ber negative.
THE ANNUAL CROP OF GRADUATES , ... ,
yjMXuUr rarauer of Wtrsl
fcouaa Ihm ast AppL
X cry come from th bachelors of
wetrn Oklahoma for wire. It comet
through a letter to B. V. Joaea, An
gora. Day County, to tb Outhrl
Dally Capital, and read:
"Dear Sir: In-tb laat Isauea of yout
paper bare appeared two Item of
news that bare particularly Interested
I me. Th flrst on gav on account of
I a man In South .Dakota who wrote to
1 Indiana about the bachelors there who
I wanted to get married and ware unabl
to, and the retult of that letter. Bc-
' nnrijr th jfealrw of a member of th
Kanaaa Leglalatnr to tax bachelor
ICO a yean
"Lt u look at th condition of
thing tn western Oklahoma, where I
am now llring. We hare here a great
many bachelors who are continually
being Joked for remaining so. Some
of the are men who are industrious
and well able to snppor a wife, and
would mai ber happy. You talk with
these men, and very few. If any. Ilk
th Ufa they are livings. Then why
do not they marry? Becans they are
unabl to help themtolTC la this
county. They want women of mar
riageable ago women of gooo. com
mon sense women who will make
them a - suitable companion, and thus
enable them to better overcome til CUT
Scultlet and. dlsavppolntmntt that b-1
set them m the great straggle for ex-1
'The girls out here of marriageable
age that are of aay account are very
few. Indeed. It 1 almoat easier to find
a pin ba a haystack than to ind one.
What la to become of th bachalora of
wetrn Oklahoma? Mtwt they tell
out or continue to live the muwrabl
life they ar at preeent living? A
member of ute Kanaaa legislature
would aay tax them 150 a year. Would
you tax a man for what he cannot
help? GIt them a chance to marry
tb right kind of-women, an., te If
they will not readily respond to It
Then the abode that have been for
merly shunned will be shunned no
more. Then tbe bouses where people
In the past have always refused to par
take of hospitality will be refuaed no
more. Then tbe toclety of a communi
ty "will be Infused with such new life,
new Joy. that evn the very bills
around us will break forth In anthems
of praise, aa they see men and women
llTlng th life that Ood lntndd they
should live, when be said: 'It Is not
good- for man to be alone.' "
THOUSANDS. FOR SPAIN.
TJaal4 eHateuNew IniAirtlsia; Alula
frsn that Cuati7 v
What u"regardx. by government ex
ptrtt aa a great 'piece of' good forVnn.
ears th Saturday Evening Pott It tho
Importation during P , laat Jr of
scions ana duos 01 in veniapto Jor
dan almond, obtained from Spain and
brought to thlt country through the ef
forts of on of our agricultural ex-
For a number 01 years past Califor
nia has produced larg quantltl of
almonds aad ta 1801 br output waa no
lea than 0,600,000 pemnot or tn
nuts, ao valuable for a treat variety
ef ute. and more especially for th
manufacture 6f crtaln kina or sweet
meats and confectionery. Nevertheless;
during th same twelvemonth we were
obliged ta import 833.000 worth of
almonds from Spain, simply because
the Jordan almonds, everywhere rec
ognised a the ber-, could be obtained
from no other source or supply,
Tb California almond Is a good nut
but not equal to the Jordan almond,
1 which by reaaon of It Urge alto and
I - ,, ,. u,,,.
particularly tin shape Is highly prixed
by confectioners, in pest sugarea
almonds are made from Jordan al
mondt, which have been grown hither
to exclusively In certain districts of
Naturally the Spanish growers have
not been disposed to tell. or give away
tbelr ttock In trade, and hence there
waa a good deal of difficulty In obtain
Ing the much-desired grafts.
Ilecently, however, some scions and
buds of the' precious variety were se
cured snd tbe department of agncul
ture Is utilizing them for tbe purpose
of reproducing, the Jordan almond In
thla country. Properly grafted, ttock
will be distributed among the Califor
nia crowers and within a few years
from the present time tuo Golden Btato
will doubtless produce all of tbe hlgu-
e-rade nuts w shall require In our
PREPARES FOR COMMENCEMENT DAY
THIS YERY UNIQUE CHAPEL
IS OWNED BY A WOMAN.
On of th moat ramarkabl chapel
In th country I that owned by Mrs.
E. M. Brace, 72 years old, and or
dained as a minister. Tbe chapel It a
part of her bom at Maiden, Maaa,
overlooking the tea.
Thtre are many palntlngt In th
chapel, all of which th mad benelf.
and all but three windows bear palnt-
vu. Dxccx'a cxianx.
tug by herself. Th decorations, too,
she made. The chapel It full of curi
ous memorial, representing th mar
riage ah has performed, th death
bed lb has attended, and other
Tent of her life.
Every day -nt hold a short serrle
la th chapel, at 4M o'clock In tb af
ternoon. The bell ring Its Invitation.
and there are always worshipers.
1,700,000 Children at Work.
Tbe factories, th mines, th work
shops, and the great mercantile estab
lishments of our country teem wltxt
the labor of children, says W. B.
Waudby tn an article on Child Labor
la Leslie'. Some of them are of .the
age required by the laws of the State,
but Innumerable thousand are much
below the, limit these statutory laws
provide, for. and far, far .below the
limit which the laws of nature de
mand. There are few branches of
our great Industrial llf which are not
overcrowded with child labor. I have
been Informed by William C. Hunt
chief itatlstlclan for population, that
the report of the cenus office for the
year 1000, when Isaued, will ahow
that for the mainland of tbe United
Btates, excluding Alaska and Hawaii,
there were, approximately, one mil
lion aeven hundred and fifty thousand
person from 10 to 19 years of age,
Inclusive, reported as engaged In gain
Nloa Utile Lot Story.'
A dreamer and a man of action loved
Th dreamer said: "I shall writ
verse In her praises they will, touch
her vanity, and she will love me for
But the man of action said: "How
old-fashtonedl I shall corner the stock
market and that will bring her."
80 th dreamer wrote vrse, and b
Induced a friend of her who ran a
10-cent magazine, to print them. And
the man of action cornered something
or other, and becam a. billionaire.
In th meantime the girl married a
man who Inherited his money, and
Ured happy Tr after.
But the dreamer, waa so proud of hla
rersea teat ne aian r, care, ana tne
man of action was to busy that he
The only on to suffer waa th man
ah married. Smart Set
Th AM of Sales Lady.'
There U a peculiar art hi selling
goods. Soma girl are born with that
particular kusd of tact They are aen- '
altlre to every caprice of the customer.
I suppose on ktnd ot magnatlam con
slsts In showing genuine attention to
the customer. If you are really Inter
ested In having a customer get Just
what ah wants you hare magnetism.
If you fake tbe .Interest your women,
customers will detect It You can de
ceive a man, but a woman never; and
yet tbere are tome women who. like
to be deceived. They know It, It a
fake, bui they Ilk It all the tame.
Wearing; Nolay Clothe.
nnrlelgh How did you ever happen
to pick out such a suit of clothe!?
Burleigh Ob, I Jutt went It blind.
Hurlelgh And deaf? Judge.
No Lineal Deaoendant
Of the twenty-five incn who have
been President ot the United State
ten have to-day no descendant.