, ....h -H M 4. ,
good ::
Short Qtofle$;:
-H-H '
A abort-slghti-d woman, wlio was nc
Mlutttl with twin brother, ono of
A'lioin was ii clergyman nnil tliu other
it doctor, congriitiilntiM the latli'r on
liln mlinlriililu aeriiion. "Kxciiho mis
minium," wiih hi reply, "over tlittru I
my brother, wliu preaches; I only pnic
llt-v."
A Inily of Ciipu Town, on meeting Do
Wot for tlm llrat tlino, cried i "Oil!
general, I inn wi plt'imed to "meet you -or
hIioiiIiI I," nIiu added, naively, "nil-
(lri'HN M II I'X-KI'IICI'lll, an tlio Hn-
kIInIi have Itl" "Hx-gcnerat will iU,
iuiiiIjiiii, Yoii nop I nm n llrltlahrr now,
and mi tlm Hiigllah nro mo fond of pro-
1 i llxe mill nlllxcii to their nniiica, I must
'X0 f T. I.,. f ,1 f .t.,,.,,1
lay. Wlio Liioivm, nuiiui duy t limy lm
I'Kct'llcii ;!" An I Do Wot In Biilit to
have laughed nt IiIh own iimlnclty.
(Ifurgii ' 1 1 1 In i ii Curll, una of tlm
moat popular lecturer, unco unit to n
village In tlio Htittu of Now York. In
tlmv of iMrty difference, tlioy begged
lilm not to tn 1 k on pollllcn, Hu liml
nothing In rcailliic except n lecture
on Tlinckoruy, Nobody In tlio iiudlnuce
tin il rend nny of Id novel. Curll'
nllimloiiH unit crltlclHinn foil upon tlm
tolil. At tliu cloo of tlio lecture, UiO
chief prnioimge ciimo to greet lilm,
".Mr. OurtlH," mild tlio achouliuaatur,
"you miiNt bring about mi agreement
aiming im on one point Tor a week
we Imvo licon deputing over lwgfcl
low whether Iio'ii (loud or ln't dond."
''I dined with lilm," nnawcrcd Curtln,
"a fortnight nKO." "All," wild tlio
ichooliuiiatcr, vUllily dlaappoluUil;
tlivii piviciitly: "Anyhow, I'm aure
somebody I dond."
Tliu Into Jiiinoi Tlrniot, who won
fiiuio aa nn Illuatrntnr of tlio "I.lfo of
C'hrlNt," hnd no uiifortunnto oxporlouco
In I-nmloii when Uo wont thero after
tlio Franco (ionium war. lie fought
In tlm nuikN, I in t nftor tlio Couiuitino
atiirled up In 1'arU, ho was atarlled to
Mud Hint mi nccumitlon of being a
Communard waa holm; brought agitliuH
lilm. It wan another Tlaaot, who wm
In tlio Commune, hut lie thought It
Winer to lonvo tlio country thnn to try
to nxplnln matlera, aluco very often no
tlino wnn given for oxplnnnttoiui. HU
reputation nn n Communard, howoror,
clung to lilm nftcr ho hnd renched Ion.
don, mid begun to tlntlor hla hoata by
painting llko nn HnslUhman. Whrn
tlio mlatako wna recognized, a number
of "high ieroonagc," who hnd avoided
lilm llko the peat, vlalted hla atudlo
and iiindo much of lilm.
DUSTY OLD MI88I88IPPL
Tlicorjr na tn n Concomitant of Travel
on Kulhar tit Walora.
"The Sllnalanlppl Ittvcr la tlio duntl
cat rond In tliu whole country," nld
n iniin who tin vela on tlio river n great
denl, "nud If you don't bellevo It put
ou a white ahlrt aomu tlmo nnd mnko
n crulito un thu river n few hundrud
liillea. Itenlly, no thoughtful uimi
would io atupld enoiiRh to qucatlou
thu atatoineiit If ho hnd over bail nuy
exporleiico ou tlio rlvor.
"I wna rendliiB nn nrtlclo aomo tlino
nco nhout tlio duat on the ncn nud
from thu doacrlptlou Riven of tlio Hue,
dry acdlmeut which falls from tlio
damp mlat of tlio ncn, I am Inclluod to
think that the drpotdt la not In It with
tho duat of the Mlavlaalppl. Tlio water
of tho river la chnrued with lino parti
cles. The henvy pnrtlclea In tho water
do not leave tho surface except to atnk
tit noiuo jKilut whero nn ohatructlon ill
verta tho current nnd ciiunea n teiu
IMirnry lolne. It la thla condition which
forma the linmeiino liara, or Blind
lianka. which wo Hud alone tho river.
Theao formations nro duo altogether
to tho realatnuco encountered hy tho
currents of tho river. Mind you, the
heavier pnrtlclea of tho river llguru la
theso formations. Tho lighter parti
cles, nnd tho kind I liavo In mind nt
thla time, form a vort of river duat
which la wafted lioro nud there by the
winds which aweep the Btrcnin.
"I liavo heard n great tunny men nil
vauco tho Idea Hint thla dust wna
lilown from tho anud Imrs nnd banks
of the river during the dry senson. Hut
thero' la nothing In thla claim which
will explain antlsfnctorlly the constant
nettling of dust on tho bouts plying
tho Mississippi. It blows Into tho cab
in, settles on tho deck nnd other ex.
posed portions of tho bont, nnd la Just
llko any other kind of dust which one
may (1ml In nn ordlnnry rond during a
dry season. Thero la this dlCTerenco,
thnt It la poaalbly not ao dry, and henco
bus n greater cohesive power. It
sticks to tho thing It falls on. I Imvo
been trnvcllng on tho river for a quar
ter of a century In tho lower trndo,
and I linve pnld considerable attention
to this Question of rlvor dust, and It la
rcnlly n vory Interesting subject, nnd
ono which should rocolvo inoro atten
tion. It may ho pure or Impure In
my Judgment no kind of dust enn ho
very pure. How thla dust gots out of
tho rlvor I ennnot say, hut since no
scientist hna oxplntncd tho matter or
ao up a standard of Judgment In thla
respect, I havo a right to my opinion
on tlio subJocL
"Thero nro, In my Judgment, two
ways of gottlng tho lino pnrtlclea out
of tho wntor. They may rlso with tho
mist of tho morning, and when tho sun
dries and dissipates tho mlat theso lino
pnrtlclea becomo tho sport of tho winds
and nro blown hlthor and thither. Or
It may bo that tho Influcnco of tho sun
on tho surface of tho wntor will buOI-
clcntly dry and balto Hicbo finer parti-'
eles to mako them an easy proy to the
-winds. Tho wind which constantly
swoops tho surfneo of tho rlvor would
brush them from tho water and waft
them with tho direction of tho wind,
I do not protond to say that this Is ex
actly what happens, but It scorns to me
to ho a reasonable explanation of tho
oslatonco of tho strange phenomenon
wo call river dust Now Orleans
Times-Democrat
DEATH TRAP8 OF IN8ECT8.
Perils to Which Creatures that Fir
nud Crawl Aro Huhjoct.
The ltfo ot Insocts Is beset with
many porlls, and tho chances that thoy
will lira to "a green old ago" Aro se
I coerilngly tvrnotn. ftony bent find liv
Ntt'ta nnd bug of loan degree llnd pit
full mid often dentil In (ho licautlful
hloaaolu of the milkweed, nthorwlao
known na (ho Virginia Mwnllowwort,
If llioao llowora nru oxiiuilncil any Mtiti-
ny itny ono will ho pretty sunt to llnd
.1 ...111 !-l.,.llMtl,.,kll4
ItllVIH lll'VOI HUM Willi II llJinil I n
nwrtiieiit of atrugulliig or dead In
IIIH Ul
Beds with their logs Mat In tho III"T'., 7 ?, ' .
if tho pocutlnr hloaao.i.a. Tlio pollen 1 WV f tlml compm.y. A first
of thla common phtnt, luatend of being
n powder, na In tho cnao of most
plm.la, conalsta of atloky, wnxen n.naa-
ps hidden within the blossom. When
n vliiltl.ig Insect thruala a proboacla or
log lulu tho opening of such n (lower
soiiio of theso mnaaea slick tn It. mid
tho linttinil course Is for the Insect to
Hy off to nuothcr (tower nud fertlllxu
tills with the ndhorlug mIIcii,
All Insecta, however, nro not strong
enough lo extract their legs from tlm
sticky places, mid then ensues thu
rljw larturu of hanging tliero until
donth or n helping hmul releases tliein
from mlwy. llesldea being henutlful,
It uililil bo qullo a useful plant If wo
cured (u ileveljp Its vlrtuex. Thua It
milky Juice contains cnoutchouc;
brown sugar tins been mnde from tho
(lowers ; (he silky hairs of tho aoeda
nro serviceable In the manufacture of
textile fabrics, na cotton Is, nnd n liber
of good (iiallty for rope-making (nny
Ihi extracted from the stalk.
CLOTHES AND NATIONALITY.
KiirIUIi Tailor Cun Tad Amorlcuiia
at Hlulil.
Thero la no mistaking the American
when he wvnra the clothes ho brought
with him. Uo nluiost nlwnya wears n
Jacket of the lounge type, which some
how seems cut with the special object
of making lilm nppenr to have very
round nud uncommonly fnt shoulders.
The Jacket hangs nwny at the waist,
mid thla, together with hla singular
fondiieaa for straw hats, which, both
In ahapo and texture, auggeat tho Idea
of n curving from a corncob, gives a
dumpnesa to the figure which la still
further accentuated by the closeness of
the fit In tho trouser legs.
The I'reiicbuiaii favors fancy vesta of
wonderful elaboration. lie wears a
frock cent with abort aklrta mid la fond
of n lot of trimming ou tho collar nud
lapel. Tho cont grips nt the wnlst llko
a belt, mid the skirt springs out like nn
Infant crinoline over tho baggiest part
of his very baggy trousers, which, by
the way, come In suddenly at the foot
and look not uullko knickerbockers
which have bocn left growing too long
nud have reached to the ankle Instead
of to the knoe. Ills hat Is usually a silk
one, but It la (hit-brimmed mid of a
pyramidal almpe, audi na la traditional
ly supposed to havo been worn by
Welshwomen and Irish gentlemen of
tho ICyrlo Daly nnd Ilnrdroaa Cregnu ' shipped In cages from Messina to Gc
pcrlod. He also wenrs nn extrnordjnnry 1 non, whence they are sent by rnll to
aniplo black silk tie, which of Itself
would be a sufficiently distinguishing
feature.
The Germans aro more bulky nn re
gards physique than most of tho cont!
Mentals, and carry themselves with an
uprightness which suggests military
training. They arc broad of shoulder
and deep of chest, mid they favor the
morning cont suit which Kngllsh tall
ora. If thoy nro wise, recommend to
those of tholr customers who nro stout
ly made. The cut of their clothes fol
Iowa Kngllsh lines; In fact, were It not
for tho prevalence of 1'rusalnn blue na
the dominant color of the material It
would bo dimcult to sny In what respect
nny decided marks of distinction could
he found.
Tho Danes nnd Swedes are fond of
blue cloth, and In most of their suits the
evidence of real good, old-fashioned
tnllorlng la notlccnble. Their garments
nppenr to bo mostly hnnd-aewu, and.
though tho cutting In most enses Is In
different, It Is easy to understand when
looking at tho garments bow It Is that
so many of tho West Bud workshops,
especially In tho Indies' trades, employ
workmen who learned their tailoring In
Denmark nnd tho ndjnccut peninsula.
lAjudon Tailor nnd Cutter.
Trusts lit Former Days.
The cornering of foodstuffs by moil'
nrchs mid their ngenta la said to havo
been tho easiest form of trust that
ever existed and as they had tho pow
er to prevent any bear movement In
opposition their deals could not help
being succcstiful ones. Accounts ot
such tnuwactloiis are to be found In
Assyrian records dating back 7,000 or
8,000 years, and the Illhlo describes a
very largo operation of this kind car
ried out by Joseph, when, out of the
wealth of tho seven fat years, ho pro
vided for tho poverty of the seven
lean ones. The Ilouinns did the same
thing through Uielr tax fanners, who
laid embargoes on tho food supplies
of tho provinces ngatust arrears of tax
cs, and tho probability Is that similar
operations were also conducted with
rognrd to manufacturers.
Another form ot monopolies, known
as trndo guilds, has existed from very
oarly times, nnd tticso, tn tho middle
ages, amounted practically to the cor
nering of certain arts and Industries
as well as menus ot distribution. The
greatest of them was tho famous
leaguo of tho Uanse towns. So closo
a "comblno" was this that It possessed
Its own fleets of armed merchantmen
and oven nnnlos of morceuarlcu In or
der to guard Its monopoly.
I,nrgo Imports ot I'roolous Stones
Tills Is a busy season among Import
ers of precious stones and thoy are
dolug a business this year that Is un
precedented. Appraiser Whitehead, of
Now York, says that tho appraised
valuo of precious stones Imported
through thnt port since Jan, 1 last was
about $10,250,000. Of this sum fully
$2,000,000 was for Imports since tlio
beginning of August This was far
beyond tlio record of any previous
year. All sorts ot precious stones aro
Included In theso figures, but they are
chiefly diamonds, with pearls a good
second on the list
ller Little Joke.
"This Is certainly a funny occupa
tion," romarked tho cook, as sho sliced
tho bacon.
"1 fall to seo the point," rejoined tho
auburn-haired waitress.
"Why," Bald tho cook, with an audi,
bio smile, "isn't slicing bacon s. side
splitting affalrr
A little learning often saves a man
front Jury duty, '
CHANGING A RAILROAD'S NAME
It Involve, n Trriiieiiilmn Aiiiomit of
I.ntior, 1'nliiler ami I'rliilcra,
John Jlalteiilmrif, iiinator painter of
tlio Hock Inland Nyatviii, Ih In Denver
for n novel purpoHo, Ho la cntorliiK
upon tliu work of cIiiiiiuIiik tlio iinniv of
tlio "(Ireat Hock Inland Uoilto" to "Tlio
If 1.1 1 u..., ,
(" ,u"vv " ..-
" , very great, hut only a mo.
"" " l'!"l,,t '"nnry to sco that
v"" tl1mo "ccompllali
,,0ol,J.,;cl n,lll'l"" " ct will be up
i'", " """"'"
" ,llU rallrond consisted of only
180 inllea of lll-lnld truck, nil running
In ono Htate, the lintno of "The Hock
lalnnd Kouto" wna ailopted mid for
tunny years served Ita purpose, bringing
fa mo to the Ilttlo terminal point which
la now only n station on tho great sya
tern. Hut when Hint rond grow Into n
powerful organization, with 7,XK) miles
of truck, the nnmo wna nut comprelieii
aire enough, mid n few weeks ngo tho
edict went forth thnt herenfler "Tho
Itock Inland Hystem" would replace tho
old trude-mnrk.
That Utile order meant thnt every
piece of stationery In hundreds of of'
(Ices, window slgna, Ilternture, adver
tising mnttcr, Iwx enr iimncs, nnd doz
ens of other accessories of the system
would have to undergo a change" na
soon na iwsslblo. The master painter
hna only n pnrt of the work lo do. Ho
must trniisform the name on the win
dowa nnd doors of tho olllcea nnd on
signs nt stations nnd on the billboards.
The corporate trude-mnrk la mnde to
cmhrncu nil tho various lines which
hnvo recently come under the dominion
of the Itock Inland, nnd the chnngo wna
mnde much of n necessity by the man
Ifold names which could be so much
more easily used under one title. Den
vcr I'osL
There la a considerable trndc In live
quails from Mossliin, Hlclly, to Knglaud.
The birds nre caught In the neighbor
hood of the port. They nre kept from
three to four days In Mcsfalun In cages
before being shipped, nro fed on hemp
seed and ground corn and are watered
freely every day. It la estluiuted thnt
from 00,000 to 100,000 nre caught an
nually. The manner In which they aro
cnught la with running nooses nnd
traps, and In Messina they fetch from
8 to 10 ccnta a head. The blrda arc
England.
A recent writer, describing a pet pnr
rot, snys: "He was, like all good par
rots, a wonderful mimic, and among
other diversions he used to Imitate to
perfection the voice and tone of my
wlfo calling to the cook. Thla led one
day to an unexpected result. My wife.
In the middle of writing a letter, sud
denly remembered on order that sho
had omitted to give, nnd since, as usunl
in n hot day, the communicating doors
were, open, sho cnlled, without moving
from her chnlr, 'KllzabothX To wblcS
came the stnrtllng answer from tho
cook: 'Bhut up, you old fool!' Where
upon the pnrrot danced with Joy."
Tho oriilthorhyiichus, or duck-billed
platypus, combines the attributes of
two ot the great orders of the animal
world those of tho mammalia nnd
nvus. Llko tho bird, It hatches Its
young from the egg. At the same tlmo
tho female Is provided with teats, like
other viviparous nnlmnls, whereby she !
Is enabled to suckle her yount when the
latter have arrived at sulUclent mnturl
ty, for which purpose the tonguo of the
Infant platypus is pushed to the front
. ,t.A I. U lu ni lli.,l,ltnnt nt
Ul U1U UIU&. no Ik in . v. ,
Australasia, It is not surprising mm an
examination of tho skeleton reveals the
. , ..!,... l,.na ...MM. Itt
tho higher orgnnlzcd marsupials serve
to support the pouch. The duck-bill Is ,
purely nocturnal In Its habits nnd Is pro-1
vldcd with cheek-pouches wberelu to
store Its food for consumption nt lets-
ure. Its gcnernl color Is dark browu,
shndlng to light brown on the abdomen,
and tho foro feet nro webbed beyond
the clnws, which web the nnlninl folds
buck when burrowing, nt which It Is
most expert. The hind legs of the mnlo
nro armed with a spur, which Is per
forated and connected with a poisonous
gland. Tho beak which, of course, Is
the most extraordinary feature of this
creature Is after death llko a piece of
old leather, but lu life Is very scnsltlvo
nnd reddish at the tip. It Is furnished,
lu lieu of teeth, with four trnnsverso
plates, with which tho animal crushes,
the small mollusus forming me mam
portion of Its diet.
rhyalolnns tn rem.
Bomo of the young medicos of this
city who havo Just graduated might
get rich lu a hurry by setting up In
business In Peru or somo other of tho
Bouth American countries. United
States Consul Charles V. Hcrdllsku, of
Cnllno, Tcru, has Just written a lottcr
to the Btato Department lu which ho
states that Uio people, both of thnt
country and Bolivia, "hnvo great faith
In American physicians and Burgeons
on account of tho advanced stato ot
medical sclcnco In this country."
Ho also states that the American
physicians now In Lima nnd Cnllno
are doing far better than they could
possibly expect at homo, and that "be
fore a physician can enter upon tno
practice ot his profession In Tcru ho
must pass a stato examination upon
medicine, conducted In the Spanish
language.
Oauao ot Stom-Iipo Kxploslona.
Many steam pipe explosions nro due
to water hammer action, A plug ot
water only bIx Inches long propelled
only two feet under a pressure of fif
teen pounds can exert n prcssui'o ot
0,400 pounds on being suddenly stop
ped. Bouth Africa of Voluanlo Origin,
South Africa Is ot volcanic origin,
and tho land lu the vicinity of Kim
bcrloy Is bo sulphurous that even nuts
cannot exist upon It
when you look at eomo people tho
nrst thing you think ot Is a club,
-4-t---
LONE TIIIDC Of ESKIMOS
4
1 There lias been discovered upon ono
of thu Islands of tho Hudson liny, tho
remnant of n lost tribe of Ksklmos, a
community which fins been for centu
ries without lutercotirsu with nny oth
er representatives ot the human spe
cies, nud whoso members never, until
'Itilto recently, hnd an opportunity of
seeing a whlto man. Tho facts of tho
discovery nro well established, having
been reported to tho Federal authorities
nt Otlnwn hy the ltov, A. W. llueklnnd.
Mr. llueklnnd anya thnt theso strange
people will virtually live In the atone
I age, knowing no nietnls. Their habi
tations nre built entirely of the skulls
of whnlofi.
Tho home of the tribe Is upon South
nmpton Islnnd, a piece of water-girt
land nearly ns large na tho Ktnto of
.Maine, lying nt the extreme north end
of Hudson liny. These people or their
ancestors have undoubtedly Inhabited
thu Island ever since pre-Columbian
days, nnd nt the present time they ex
1st exactly ns they must have douo
then. Having been Isolnted for so long
n period It la natural thnt they should
possess mnny peculiarities. A very ro
uinrknblo collection of their utensils,
weapons of (ho chase, and other ob
jects, wns secured by Mr. llueklnnd,
hut, to the grout regret of the Canadian
authorities. It wns allowed by lilm to
pass Into the hands of private persons.
Tho huts on thu Island arc built by
putting togother the great Jawa of
whales and then covering them with
skins. In tho middle of the prlmltlvo
dwellings la a alight elevation, on
which stnnda the stone lamp, employed
for lighting, beating, cooking, and melt
ing snow nnd drying clothes. This
lump la nothing moro thnn nn open dish
of whale oil, with a wick of dry moss
Konked In fnt.
The whnlo Is the chief means of
subsistence of these poor people. They
usu the bone for many purposes, mak
lug plates and cups and toboggan-like
sleds. They also manufacture sledges
of walrus tuska, with deer antlers for
crosspleces. The mcmlicrs speak a di
alect peculiar to themselves and they
are the most daring of hunters. Not
more than sixteen members of the tribe
now survive.
Mr. llueklnnd agrees with the explor
ers who believe tho story that Andree
was murdered hy the Eskimos. He baa
lived for years with theso people In
their tents, and cau not say too much
for the kindliness of disposition and
rcndlncss to assist strangers. He
explains the finding by them ef
Instruments and other property by the
hypothesis that they belonged to the
Tyrcll brothers, who In 1S0I, nearly
lost tbelr Uvea near Marble Island,
Hudson Itny, and left mnny valuable
articles behind, Including their cameras,
plates, etc.
Mr. llueklnnd Is confident that An
dree will never again be heard from.
When he was asked by the Norwegian
government last year to undertake a
search for him, he declined, believing
that to do so would simply mean a
wasto of time nnd money. New York
Sun.
THIS ELEPHANT IS fJOf REAL,
Hero Is a "freak" photograph. At
first glance one would suppose that It
was a picture of a young lady riding
on a baby elephant
Hut It Is not a real elephant It Is a
mero silhouette cut out of boards and
Is Intended for an advertisement a
sign being painted on It The lap-robe
of a carrtago Is thrown over the sign
to conceal It, and the young lady Is
managing herself with difficulty on the
sharp edge of tho elephant's back
tor all that, she looks comfortable.
The photograph was taken In the out
skirts ot the City of Washington, the
elephant being set up by the roadside.
A Convenient Deafness.
Mrs. Hall was Just wishing she bad
some ono to send down town after a
spool of silk with which to finish her
sewing, when her neighbor's little bIx-year-old
boy came In.
"Well, Bobble," said Mrs. Hall, "If
I pay you 8 cents will you go down to
Stoue's and get me a spool of silk"
Robert was very willing to go and
waited while Mrs. Hall wrote the num
ber and color of the silk she wanted,
and as she handed him the Blip Robbie
said:
"Mrs. Hall, I guess I must be a little
hard of bearing, hut did you say 4
conts7" Llttlo Chronicle,
Aluminum aa a SubJtltuto for Paper.
It Is stated that experiments with
aluminum as a substitute for paper
aro now under way In France. It Is
now possible to roll aluminum Into
sheets four-thousandths of an inch tn
thickness, tn which form It weighs less
than paper. By tho adoption of suit
able machinery these sheets can bo
mado oven thinner and can be used for
book and writing paper. Tho metal
will not oxidize, Is practically (Ire and
water proof, and Is Indestructible by
worms.
Like Papa.
"I saw Klumsey's baby yesterday.
It's a regular chip oft the old block."
"Why, I couldn't see any resemblance
at all."
"NoT Well, when I saw the kid It
had Just opened Its mouth and put Its
foot lu It" Philadelphia Press.
A wlfo can read her husband's mind
all right. The dlillculty Is In getting
him to acknowledge that sho reads
him right
An Excellent Reason,
Aa old sen captain, muor tlio im
pression that lie was raying a good
thing, asked a lady pasrengor why
men never kiss one another, wbllo
ladles wasto a world of kisses on femi
nine faens,
"Uocaiiso," the lady replied, "tho
men have somotl.iiig hotter to kiss and
tho women haven't."
For forty year's Plso's Cure for Con
sumption has cured coughs and colds. At
druggists. Price 2d con if.
Showed Profound Conceit.
I'hyllls Harry la tlio most con
ceited man I over met.
Maud What makes yon think ao?
I'hyllls Why, ho first aaecrts that I
nm the most adorable woman In the
world, the most beautiful, Intellectual,
and in every respect a paragon, and
then ho wants mo to marry lilml
TITO Ptnaintrflr Curso ao SU ntrtoamm
rl I O iftifirn Ur'i rf pr, KIlM'iOml Ntrw
3Uttrr, BnHrorritllKS'i.OOIrUllntUaiDdU'wfc
Im. 1ie.II.II.Kij.U4..wi JrchSUPl.UtdlLU.I-
Anything Hut Funny.
Myer Tho average man takes
life
much too seriously.
Oyer Oh, I -don't know. It's no
joke to bo arretted for murder.
Millions of atiflercrs use Hamlin's Wiz
ard Oil for pain every year and call It
blessed. Ask your druggist, ho knows.
Olvlng Papa Away.
"Mamma," said 6-ycar-old Tommy.
''I'll bet my pony can beat you."
"Why, dear, what do you mean?"
asked the astonished mother.
"I mean In a race," replied tho
youngster. "I heard papa say that you
could talk faster than ahorsocantrot."
Hats Corn Off the Cob.
"I can bite an apple as well as I
could when a child, and I can eat corn
of! tho cob as well as any person alive,"
said a lady sixty-eight years old and a
customer of Wiee Bros., the famous
dontlsts, of Portland, Oregon.
Hho had been fitted with full sets of
upper and lowor teeth by WIso Broth
ers, and was perfectly astonished to find
that she is now as well supplied with
teeth that she can use as the was when
a little girl. Wise Brothers have revo
lutionized modern dental methods.
There is no more pain to be .feared
by people who have their teeth attend
ed to, and the cost la very moderate.
They make a great specialy of crown
and bridge work, and even wben It Is
necessary to take out all of the old
teeth and put In full new sets, the re
sult is simply wonderful. The false
t ;eth, of course, cannot be told from
natural ones, and the person using
tbem ran do everything he, or abe, I
could do with natural teeth. The sets .
of teeth are made to fit the gums so
perfectly that there Is no slipping, and
the strength of the possible bite is just
like that of a natural healthy set of!
teeth.
The experience of the lady customer
here related can be yours if your teeth
need attention. No one can afford to
postpone having thoir teeth put in
order. No one need sutler a single dsy
longer because they have lost the use of .
their own teeth. We hope our readers 1
will carefully watch the advertisements I
ot Wiso Brothers in this news psper, I
and bo persuaded to coniult this
splendid dental institution.
A Natural Question.
"At your age I never told stories,"
said Myron Leffingwell to tho youthful
ono who had been "yarning" as is a
way sometimes with imaginative
youngsters.
"At what age did you begin, papar
was the disconcerting answer. Sieve
York Times.
How the Miracle Occurred.
"Why did the evil spirits enter into
the swine?" asked the Sunday school
teacher.
" 'Cause hozs will sat any old
thing," replied little Sammy.
Must Forget One.
Flannican Phat'a the matter
wid
Ilogan theso days?
iloolignn Ho Invinted an armor
that nothing can pierce, and a ahell
that will pierce any armor, and he
doesn't know which to fergit. New
York Times.
Shots Wouldn't Fit.
Clerk So you want to exchange
these shoes becauto they aren't mates?
Mrs. Ilogan Oi do. Firrht 01 put
wan on me left foot an' 'tnor made for
the roight; an' thin 01 put wan on me
roight foot, an' 'twor made for the loft.
The Truth WIU Out.
The Patson (to stranger) This is the
first time I have had the pleasure of
seeing you at our church. Whore is
your regular placo of worship, may I
ask.
Young Man Why, er at her fath
er's house, to be sure.
The Kind Vott Hnvo Always Bought lias borno tho signa
ture of Chns. II. Flotcucr, nud lias been mado under bis
icrsonnl supervision for over 80 years. Allow no ono
o deceive you in this. Counterfeits, Imitations and
Jttst-as-good" aro but Bxporuncnts, and endanger tlio
health of Children Kxperlenco against experiment.
What Ss CASTOR 1 A
Oastorln Is n harmless substitute for Castor OU, Pare
goric, Drops nnd Soothlnc- Syrups. It Is Pleasant. It
contains neither Opium, Morphlno nor other Kurcotlo
BUbstanco. Its a&ro is its guarantee. It destroys Worms
nnd allays Fovcrlsluiess. It cures Diarrhoea nnd Wind
Colic. It relieves Tcothlnpr Troubles, cures Constipation
nnd Flatulency. It assimilates tho Food, regulates tho
Stomach nud Dowels, giving1 healthy and natural sleep.
Tho Chlldron's Panacea Tho Mother's I'rlcud.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
9
Boars tho
In Use For Over 30 Years.
THK OtNTUH 0UMNTi TV HUH HAY aTACCTt NCW TQRH CITY.
Dark Hair
" I have used Ayer's Hair Vigor
for a great many years, and al
though I am past eighty years of
age, yet I have not a gray hair In
my head."
Geo, Yellott, Towson, Aid.
Wc mean all that rich,
dark color your hair used
to have. If It's gray now,
no matter; for Ayer's
Hair Vigor always re
stores color to gray hair.
Sometimes it makes the
hair grow very heavy and
long; and it stops falling
of the hair, too.
Sl.tt a kollU. All franlM.
If yonr drulit cannot "apply yon,
send us ono duiur and mil express
you a Lottie, lie sure and pit e tint him.
I ot your oeareiteinresson'ce, Address,
J. C. A YKU CO., Lowsll, Mass.
11 CUU NHlfet AH lilt I AIIS. I
Beet Cticgb fcyrop. Taatee Cloud. Un
in time, sola dt arneffi.is.
111! ' '
Lady Prompters. j
Women prompters havo been tried at
tha Berlin theaters with success, as it
has been found that their voices carry
better across tho stato and are less
audible in tho auditorium. I
Ton Cab Get Allen's Foot Kase CTIKK.
Write Allen 8. Olmsted, LcRoy, K. Y., (or a
free i ample ol Allen's Foot Kase. It cures chll
btslns, sweating, damp, swollen, aching leet.
It makes new or tight shoes esy. A certain
cure for Corns and Uunloni. All drug-fliti tell
It. 2oc lion't accept any substitute.
Ills Choice Jury.
Lawier Brief I see that cato
yours is on. Jury drawn yet?
Lawyer Skinner Yes, and it's a
splendid ono.
Lawyer Brief Above the average In
intelligence, eh7
Lawyer Skinner No; way below It.
False Economy.
It is the experience of every good
houfowlfe that to practice economy on
such articles as apices, baking powder
and tho like Is generally at the rirk of
health and comfort. The few cents
possibly saved may be very expensive
if they result in impure and indigest
ible foods. If you want to be aura
yon are getting only the vary purest
and strongest spices and baking powder
made, see to it that your grocer sup
plies you only with the Monopo'o
brand. If your dealer doesn't handle !
tbom Bend ns bis came, wadbama &
Kerr Bros., Portland, Or.
Preference.
"You say that young woman com
plimented my singing?" he exclaimed,
anxiously.
"In a war." the vounz woman re
plied. "She said ehe would rather I
tiAat. ... ... r Il,.n I.. In u J
T.rie." Washington star.
old people:
Do not always receive the sympathy and attention -which'
they deserve. Their ailments are regarded as purely
imaginary, or natural and unavoidable at their time ot
life. Disease and infirmity should not always be associ-
ated with old age. The eye of the gray haired grandsiref
may be as bright and the complexion as fair as any ol i
his younger end more vigorous companions.
Good Blood la tho sear at ofhoalthy old ago, lor it regulate
and controls every part of the body, strengthens the nerves, makes the
muscles elastic and supple, the bones strong nnd the flesh finn ; but whr 't
this life fluid is polluted or poisoned and loses its nutritive, health sustain
ing elements, then there is a rapid decline of the vital powers, resulting
in premature old age and disease. Any derangement of the blood quickly
shows itself in an ulcer, sore, wart, tumor or some other troublesome
growth upon the body, and rheumatic and neuralgic pains become almost
constant, accompanied with poor digestion and cold extremities.
ailments disappear. S. S. S. is just such a tonic as old people need to
improve a weak digestion and tone up the Stomach. If there is any heredi
tary taint, or the remains of some disease contracted in early life, S. S. S.
will search it out and remove every vestige of it from the system.
Write us fully about your caseand let our physicians advise and help
you. This will cost you nothing, and we will mail free our book on blood
and Ekin diseases. THE SWIFT SPECIFIC COMPANY. Atlanta. Ga.
axiftc.
crtt-.atlhtltra. HillMc Free m-Pn Hn4
Signaturo of
JOHN POOLR. PORTLAND, ORU.
root ot Morrison Street,
Can (Its you the best l-rlni In IlnilaM
Rniliics, Wlmlnillta, I'umrsanif (ln.
ifftrhlnrv Wn.w1 ilwn lt..t.i.I. .
specially us bolura tmjPna.
TWO FER GENT DIVIDEND.
We wilt paya riWMcnrt ol a per rnt par
lnonthnn money (IOtip).Tijiaimonlhlit
food wearily. Culorwrue
I'OHTUND DIV1DBN0 CO.
UM. DAVIS. Pre.IJ.nl.
an Washington Bt., City
Waft I IU UJT hUH CASH
Chtckon, Duck and tlccao fenth. S
ers. Address
O. O. SMITH. Z
lOlh mnUDmvlmStm,,Portlmnd,Or
OR. C. GEE WO
WONDHRFUL
TRBATMI2NT
Thla wonilrriiI Chi
nR doctor In rallttl
great btx-kuM ht cum
topl without oprv
lion that u glvtn up
tod1. Ill CMTM With
tho wonderful Chi
ntt brb4 root, bud,
bark And TrMtAbltt
that r tntlrely ary
kiiowti to modlcftl ftcl
t net hi thin country. 1 Urolith late utortho.
harmless- rrmedlti thl fniou doctor know
tho action or oftr 00 dltTrnt rfmeJ!r, which
he accesafullj' u In different dleae. Jt
Ituaranice to euro rtviarrb, aihnia( lutic
throat, rheumatlRm, nerrotmneM, stomach,
liver, kidney, etc, bu hundred of teailmon
lal. Chare moderate. Call and htm.
Patient out of tha city wrtto for blank and
circular. 8nd4cnUln tamp. CO.NtfUlV
T ATI ON VJtKK. ADtHtKWH
THE C. GEE WO CHINESE MEDICIHE CO.
U1H Third St., PnrtUnJ, Orcfon.
SVilentlon psper.
THE BEST
WORLD
tlPiADC TUt TRAM MIDtf
f eVkVW IIIM I Hflafc I lAAft
THOUGH OFTEN IMITATCQ
A5ASAPP1E COAT
IT HA5 NO EQUAL
CATALOGUES TRtl 1
.wenwc rukw iinc or sarmimts anomaTA
A.J.TOWLR CO.. BOSTON. MASS. 4
Tennyaonlan.
"Why do yoo call your neighbor's
pig 'Maude?' "
"Because it alnays conies into the
garden."
Mothers will Una Mrs. ITlnslow's Sooth,
be Sjrup the best remedy to use for tbelr
Children during the teethlnc period.
Somewhat Uncertain.
"He's wbst you'd call a professional
public speaker, isn't her"
"Well, I don't know, lie speaks In
public every chance he can get, but
the public never waits to hear him."
g I
I
r
i
POMMEL
of true
I Ill I BBS.
l WAM "All
. s. a. Being purely vegetaoie, is tne sal est ana
best blood purifier for old people. It does not shock
or hurt the system like the strong mineral remedies,
but gently and thoroughly cleanses the blood and
stimulates the debilitated organs, when all bodily
CURE Your HORSE of HEAVES
4fft tfi JLT r litem per or rink Bye vrtth Pkcssuk Hhate
0JJMrf Fowdbm. They ARC A OXEAT BLOOD PU11F1EK
AND CONDITION EX. a sure cure for all ailment from which heate
CURED 34 HORSES.
lhT ben tutu PtoisUq lUavo Powder the paat atirht month and In thai
tlm hav txirwl aorM f HTe 14 of DUUmperaod O of L'hrooio Oouf h.
Th rTUMl&A Uamodt haT ffalaMl a grat reputation in thli taction.
Book.
rOItTLANUEKO OU. VortUud, Or.. Uout Agauts.
$3&j532 SHOES K
V, h. Douglas shoes are worn by
more men In all stations of life than
nuy other make, because they aro the
only shoes that in every way equal
those costing $5.00 and f 0.00.
W. L. DOUCLA8 84 SHOES
CANNOT BE EXCELLED.
!. ti mi uoAi 12.81 A.Aflft
II . M.Uk. IIIVV'I.V i IHfl ... ... ......
Bitt Imoattti ant A
taitt Httlf. tnnmml A. 'a.
tlf, Calf, If Id KM, Carta
Cult, Hit. Kangaroo. Yut C(ir Krelats UMll.
f.iillnn I Th nulne hT.W. I, couausr
USUIlun I m. ,n(j prtCa .t.mil on fcottoi.
Shou In nail, lie. txira. Mm. Catalog fix.
W. U D0UC1LAS, DROCKTON. MASS,
N, r. N. 0.
Ma. 40-103,
HKM writing- la advertls tsaa I
mwU.a tuis papcit I