IIF.BR OTINIIAIMin NMiraiTI1 ....... kiwiuuaniu u UMMIjUIU : g Y I. MACLAHI'.N COWIAN, i i V.UM VlVMVlVMUhh IV 51 CI I ITF.lt IV-( oiitluwl I cimiint Iml cmilcs tlmt tlit Interest Minn l.iiinilx tlm hlfcMcil In what touched mo nmiko In inn Mmsiitiniis, inn y c i n cny M.Kiin hope, of u nry plcuiuiiil nnil consoling kind, ilrriiiiu.il lirlulit dream Hint night, which hung ithuul mo during the tixt diiy, lint In tlm evening llu-y were dis pelled miiimim lint rudely liy u Hutu from tlm bishop requesting inn to cull iiniii Mm, iiml hy H message from tliu redor desiring tint in cull on him. I wnl llrht to tlm 1.1,1ml,. My . tcrvlow with lilui nun morn ugicniihln tluili I lind anticipated mid 1 ttimt ttltli it tolnmlily light I. nut to tlm rector. Iln ttiiH Mill In bed. My nmrt Inter- tlmv ttltli him ttim not pleasant. Tlm words ttn exchanged ttcru ttiirm; hut they do not concern thin stiiiy incept in llmlr result. Iln wished, Im urgttd, Im inmost ordered urn to tcitsit nil rocoghl nun in liny nny ol tint existence ol till) mini rrceiiiun; I refused to Kvu niiy pledge to tlmt effect mid mi 1 wus given to understand Hint 1 Hiuild not Ihi wanted In tlm parish iiftnr tint nix months for which I hud been nt first engaged. It tun only limn when my departure from Tlinporloy seemed iiniuliuuit (I Iiml nlniidy men nlmost four moiitliH In tlm iliiin) Hint I began to susicrt how wry much my hnKs mid affection Iiml entiiuglisl themselves th tlm haunting sadness, tliu unconscious grate nnd Iwuuty of Minn Ijicrtlx. What likelihood mtn llmm now. If them over lind lieen nny, of n poor riinitn who Iiml iilri'itdy ilnnii something to discount III chalice ol iriifiiriiii'Ut of my being morn tliun nil agreeable it i it tolnmlily sympathetic iii'iuiilntiiiii'ti of a iimiitli or two, of my In uring her say mnrn limn "o very sorry, Indeed. Hint you nr going," nnd of Hum finding Hit' opt wslo clou-1' .No llkollhood nt nil there teemed And yl so much inny finpjx'ii In tun short months. I linvtt to mini It tlmt, oven in the mlditt of serious work (of writing a sermon, for lustaiito), vuln, ttllil thoughts unulil urlm in inn of commending myself to tlia young Indy liy winm tfrat H'rvlro liy, ptr fluinrt', illmiiviirliiK Imr fntlii'r, or nt li'nnt tlndlin; out for fcrlnln whnt lind Inm-oiihi of lilm (nltliniii-li 1 Iiml yt Iiml no wortl fnnu Hm Uo rlciitlit tihoiu I lind iinktxl to mnkn liiiiuirltn in Iiu- ilon). Hut tlit'mi (imiIIMi, fruitltn (ui Iiik" ttru hikiii rruHil.vl nnidti hy tlm t'xrilmni'iit ol nvt'iitii. A utrnuk'ti thiiiK linppimi whitdi wnii n tliris-t ri'Mill of my hltliprlo lnckli'm ndtiintuiii ttltli Mr. Krci'innn. I found Hint nffnlr lind oomini'iidiil mo to tint futomlilu uttivitiou of nil typt-n of dlr viiIith In tliu villncn; onu innrk of thin fnvor I I'niMK-inlly nppwtdntitl, nn nil idorisymi'ii would tho IiktiximxI ui Kri'pitlou I 1 1 ml nt church, on Sunday iivuiiliit partlculnrly. "I nlcV't rf(!rct for my .own raki, nyti know," l'rrtmnn raid to mo oim day, with n laiiKli, "tlmt I nuknd you to ho my rlinlrmaii nt that dlrufiil In t urn. I lind yuu nru tukliiK lunnv of my coiiKnvntlon (rnm run not all toio'tltor, tlinui;li, I iiiuiit ruy tlmt for my pel I. Hut tlivy do lliclr duty liy mo in tlm morning, nnd tlmn ppciu to tnkn tludr pli'iiouro ttltli )ou In tho ovi-nlnc." Of tlionn who thun forok Mr, Kroo man I uotirtxl n rcnuirknlilo Kroup of working folk, ttlioin ho Iiml (minted out to mu nn tlm moat (dowly oolivriiiK, iiml tliu moid vuilouidy Intcr-rvlntixl cotikTrit'M of fnmilion in tlia vlllnui' (ttlicro tlmro Ih mi iixivuhoI (xiiminrliip) Tlii'y ui'ru nto.idy, ntulid, nlirund pixi plo, wry I'omfortnhly off, yi't nil of whom, inalii mid fcmnlo, ttorkrxl nt tlm Iihiiii or tlm clicmirnl vnt. My atten tion wna llrrt nttrnctixl to thmu liy llmlr tnkliiK up n good mit wtdl for wnnl, nnd ri'fuviuK tn IiuiIko tthon tlm lititrhvr'a family, who pnid for it, rnnm In, nnd by tludr evidently IhiIiik ciultu iinunxl to tho order of nerviai in iliuri'li. Tliu prayer liook huh ii mam to tliiim, mid tho rifling up nnd rlttlni; down rnnatnntly took tliem liy nurprirn. Tho fulnlly, I Iraruixl, Iiml riKoroimly dinHentixl for Kt'i't'n'tioiiH. At n Kpeelnl Hotter nervleo (for which fnw Unworn rould Ihi itntlienxl Tlm IMirley) tlioy wero not In tludr ncriis tomixl potv. Tlio cliurcli wni donndy crowdixl morn crowded, I think, lo raiiHo tlm (not nnd tlio rniiHon of my npetxly dopartiirn from Timperloy Iiml mimohntv not nlnond. At tlio end of tho week, howover, (an Friday nllit, I think), a iiichhiiku enmo to inn ttheu tvuH in bed, roquiiHtinK mo to vlnlt nt oiii-o n mnii who wiiH tlvlng ono of tlm hoiih ol lliin intorontiiiK family. 1 drcHnod, nnd wont. I liunrd noundn of wallliiR anil Innien tntlou from tlio Iiouho Imforo I entured. 1 linnnid Into tlio kitelien, u oleiiii brilllit room, In which tlio moti of tho family out MiinkiiiK In vnrioiin nbsnrhed nttltudcH, oiiproHtixl with ulloiii'o nnd sloop. Ono of tlio wnmon (.toopixl over n pun on tho Urn, wlilln tho old mother In n linn, eltmr voleo, cllreclisi neropor ntloiiH. Kho turned to mo, eayiiiK merely: "IIo'h iipntnirH, Ho nuiils bad to rco yo', but nt pronont Iui'h leot I' th' yed, (IlKlit In tho hond). UpstnlrH I found tlio dying man tlio mimller of tlio two bcdrooniH- in -for wnrmtli. Tlmt nick room, na It tliun npiioiired to mo, will not onnlly bo for- Kotten. At Hint dead hour of tlio nlKht, when "Iho vory hoiifos neemod imleep," nnd oven tlm tall chimney of tho chemical workn lind conned to emit Kh tinted vapors, tlio can Hnred full in tlio littlo room, nnd nix portions, men nnd women, woro round tho bed where tlio poor fellow Iny In tlio hint extrem ity of dulirioua hulplonmipsn, noaked In porsnlrntlon. Near him stood iny frlond Freeman. I loarned In n fotv words from Free man that tho poor fojlotv had boon em ployed for yearn nt tho chonilcnl works, whoro ho hud contracted ulceration of tlio liingsi on Btindny nlcht ho bail stood in tlio doorway of tho crowded church, had caught cold and had como home to tho bed from which lie would never rise nenln. Whllo ho spoko bo wan seized with n fit of violent delirium, in which he lind to be roxtrnlnod from gottlng out of bed. Soon ho ralmod down ngaln into a moro lucid interval. Wlilla ho lay jpeuclilets, and a noluhbor by tho bod j i IV iv tk ii iv u iv iv iv iv kept niolntnuiiifi hln dry, cracked lpx ttim u run hiiikoii in liriinily nml ttnler Im t!H oil iiniiind hhr, nnd lit tint llxixl IiIh eyen on urn, ami iwuyi il to npeuk Imt no uordn niiiitt Thin prontrntlt mni niii'iitii ciiuHiiiii'iI for nouio tim Now ami imiiln tho hciul of tho family ttomti iihcentl irom Hm kltclmii (In hi niot'KliiKH, lent Im nhiiuhl miiko a uolnn) IIIUl Htllllll Mllflllll Hllt'iiro with I tpilriiiit eyen on hlnn'in; tin would ntiintl co dill nml rollri'il that bin prownr wiim forollon till tlm gulp of n big nil wan liciinl, nnd tlm loono hack of hi hirgo tvalntcnat ttan neon illnapptmrli. nitinti tno Hour. At length tho found hihx'cIi. "I iithcr," ho nald, when tlm oltl man wan about to withdraw. "Iililn llo then nlgnlllnd that all tlm otliern nhotiltl lento tlm fixiin except 1'reeuui ami iiiynnll. tviieu thoy woro gone I motioned his fntlmr to hln pillow. Tho oltl mull wont. "Ilii'oyou nuiniiuit to nny, Dick?" I umiiitai, ".111111 I riilno you up?" llo ttan rained nml propped up will pillottn. Ilonckixl for u drink, ami wun given Home whlnkey nml milk "I'm ii dying moil," Im Ijcgnn; "I kiiotv I mil." Illn even, u-liuod witl tllneiiMi nml ttnntof nleep. turned wildly aiMiui; inn neml drooped ; and hi damp lliln flngiirn (ntill tllwolorixl will ilye) cliiMod nt Hm Ih1 clothen. II renuunxl llxlug bin ojen on mo "I iniint iiinfenn Niimmal; I liotm (iixl'll lorglvo me. I hull nought to do wl' it what fur nhoiihl I'.' llo wun ityo good to me. I had iioughl to do wi't, I ttdl you'" "No, Iml," nald bin father to hmoH him: thiKi hiulmi. "tteel, raid he, "tlunnotn.iy 1 had liccnunu 1 1 iik nu. U'liHim I on uigl. rlil It'.' Mint ttan all. I ttnik ,11m place; ho wanted logo ttho.un to wlfi in lied tti' bnliliy. That ttim It. ii .. . no iiiiiuiTixi tin nouio oilier iinraren while Im turned Inn eyen alMiut un II lout; bin nx'ollectlon ttnn wandering Ho rrrumcd with energv, 'They camo rigni in, rjieaklng loud and angry. II wulkn nil to thing, ami liftn lit). 'I knowixl It!' rayn he. 'Hut yo' iicodna lot if tli' world know itl'ravn th' other 1 It in rlianunt Ihi! rayn he. Ilm iMMir fellow ttan gnuvini: terribly excited; every word wan uttertxl wit llerco t'liipliiiHin and wild geitture: hi eyen wero llxixl on vacancy, nnd. In my reuex excitement, I landed 1 wiw Ml interior ol tho color nluxl, with itr vague tinted vnporn. through whlcli ItHiiniMl the llguren of two itinrreling men, wliom I tremlilingly ttntched i iimigimillnn by tho ride of thin dyed tieninn oi mo val. I Im man grew exclttxl, mid nu wero no engronrtxl, witl Itln revelation, that he had riren to hi Kneen in ihxi no'oro we could proven lilm. Iln continued bin llerco, tllr jolnttxl titterancen. tto inun na nn morn of itr nay iiejriieieann lower! An. Iirdl ttantrtoplll It! A Ii hi" it nn n wun lean no tvan stantllni! un In Ixxl.nnd llercely imitating tlm notion ol n mini stooping, ami tipping iiirntviug nomo neavy ixxiy. tvo ttero no tinnntlxed with rurprlro nnd horror tlmt tto could not stir a hand to rottral mm. lie looked like a weird coipMt riitiiieniy rnlred Irom tlio tleml to grotcHtpio, galvanic life. What chiefly reired my attenlnn wan the black rbatlotv on the wall of thin tlelirioun II g uro thus stooping with bin head and bunds (iiiUtretclied. The incident (anted but a moinont, and then tho poor imin fell liack on hln pillotv with dintractixl crien. ".Murder! Oh, my Ootl' murder An' I fouldmt speak! Nay, I rouldna Hut IM nought to tin wi't! nought!" Again ho lay oxhauntod, and ills lei ntlten and ncighliorn came buck bur rkxlly to bin iMxlritlo to wall over him. He looked sadly but calmly on them gasping in the laet faint struggle of initiiro against dissolution. And so he died, ami tho wailing broko out re doubled. Itofnru Freeman nml I left tho house together to go out Into the cool summer morning air, tho old mini snid ipiietlv to us ' I to seen for long ho hail sum mat on bin molnd, but what ho means, i coniia ten; so wo n nest lio d our tongues, I think." CIIAITF.K V. I left Freeman nt hln own door, and wandered iiivny In search of some spit, in which distraction nnd calm intalit come. Hut tho search was vain, nml I returned to tho village to my lodi;lni!s. The tall ihlinnoya' had begun to pour form tliolr volumes of tilack smoke befoul nntl hopolson tho nlr, which bad cleared Itself somewhat In tho night. When I entered tho village its pave ments resounded with the clatter of clogs: tho dally contingent of toil. which almost emptied tho village of men nntl women, young nnd oltl, was drowsily marching out to itn various stations. Tho men nnd latin on tliolr way to uicroix and Hlolnliardt's Chem ical Works attracted most of my nttem lion. Thoy ttero of fenrful nptl won- tlerful lisped; thoy weio of brilliant colors, curiously blent, or woro wholly blue or green, or n lino Mephlstolenn retl; they wero, Indeed, qulto. "subdued to what they win k In ' tlyed oven to the roots of heard nntl oyebrotvs, As I looked, I wondered whether tho con stant wearing oi mis engrained war paint wero not of Itself ounugli to keen over auvo in uicso men, peacolul ns tney looKon, uerco lmtslons, which In other men usually slumbered. An outbreak of savngo nature among them in the meplilttc vapor Inwhlcli they worked might be no very unusual thing: was it ronio such outbreak, ending In a fearful death tor one of thom, of which thodeatl man lying in that lioui-c, with the whito blinds drawn, lind been n terror stricken witness? Or hnd Ills confes sion boon merely tlio raving of delirium? ilolirlum, winch soomcd in some nieasuro to havo beon communlcntod to mo, tired ns I wns with tlio excitement, nnd with want of sleep. When I reached iny lotlclncs. I wont to bod, and Blopt for somo hours. I nwoko moro mysolf, disposed to tako a clearer and soboror view of things. Ovor my lato break fat t I rosolvcd whnt would uo. I, for my part, would eav nothing of tho confession heard in the night, until I could be suro it had eooio foundation In fart. This I would tliit morning try tn discover In Hid village, I know Hint any tit the shopkeepers would do only loo ready to wnlromo a gossip; fur except at mnul times, and In tlm evening, tlm village In nearly J; iuiiity ol customers, ri I found tlm draper, llttln middle 2 nged mini, who horn tlm evidence of i ''""I "H i Ui mill" from his earllosl youth. llo wan tho very man El nould liavn i lioMtn for inv nurimno: Im I hail a fouilnlim fnndnonn for gonnip, and no Know mo uiialrn of ovory one In tlia village, ami all that had hapiionnd for a generation or Iho, Iliad nodllll cully In arriving tpilikly at tho end I Iiml in flow, nn already knew that I Iiml been called up In tlm night to visit the dying victim of applied chemistry, mid Hint Freeman nml I hnd been with him till Im end. "Very delirious," said the draper, "I hour say Im wan iablmrotl anil ram- bled away uboiifa' kinds o' stuff, and then sliirnorod (slumlxtrod) off again, I suppose? Yea; that's tho way thoy do. l.li, ileal ! It's n bud business for the wife mid the family "Are illHtasnn like his," I nskod, "Oiien got at Hm chemical works?" "Nny," raid bo, "I think not; tlm sumlln doi-iii to agroo wl' most folk pretty wtxd." "lint tlm work In very dangerous, Is it not7 Don't accidents often hip pon?" "Yea; it In ilnky. When thoy work nwor Him vats, ami tho retorts, and things, they mini tin up their mouths anil noson wl' n clout, and even wl' that they mny sometimes Ret choked and nwrcomu tlttalmllko all at wonst wl th' smell, or sommat, and then they're n goner." "Accidents often happen, then'" "Wtxd, mon, thoy do and thoy don't. Mates, you see, are ayo at hand. The latin often gi t un eye burnt, but thoy don't nlrkon much tn that, ficoi there's a lad otter there by th' beer shop door." I lookod and saw a sturdy fellow all nil, ttltli h whlto handkerchief tied round his head under hln cap. "lie's Imm-ii two or three timea like tlmt wi' IiIh eye burnt. Oh, yea; it'a risky; hut wo dent often ha' a grit ac cident. The worst I rt-niuni ber was .a, Iml on th' night shift that foil in and, was smothered; he was found In thlnir next morning. That wan a bad bush nenx; a' th' hair ttan off. an' th' skin ami llonh was but It mak's you for-1 ijueer; yea, ran soo it do. It was- a bad business." , , 'Very horriblo," said I.'.Whlle mr heart Hiuiiiixxl almost audibly, "How long was that ago?" Iot mo seo. It s a matter, I do be lieve, o' ir year ago." "I hopo," said I, "a death of that sort tlon't often occur." "Nny; or our folk, quiet as thoy are mortlius, might pull tho whole men- ngerie down. I wan surprised to seo tlm vindictive glitter that passed from the little man's eyes. Man thcro really, I asked with somo ronstlalnt, "been any other death like that since tho ono you mention? "ay; l ronna remember one. (To b continued) 8HE LOST NOTHING. Omiulon In the Wtddlnj Sirvlct thai Dldn'l Count A tlistlngulsluxl naval o Hi cor was telling thin story on himself the other vtenlng to n gathering of htn frlendn. At the time of his marriage he had been through the Civil war ami had had many harrowing oxwrienccn alwanl ship, through all of which ho kept his courage ami remained as calm as n bruvo man should. As the time for tho ceromony came on. however, his calmness gradually gave way. At tho liar, amid tuo maze of hrasn buttons ml goltl l.ico marking tho full naval I wedding, the olllcer wnn all but stam-, pixletl, ami what went on thoro seemed ery much mixed to him. Fearing tlio' .tenement oi the moment would tern lorarily tako him off hln feet, tho olllcer hail learned the marriaee ceremony let tcr periect, ns no thought, antt he re' membered ropeating the words after tho mtulrter In n mechanical sort of way After the ceremony was all over and II wns serene again, Including the Ulcer's statu of mind, tliu kindly lergyman cuino upend touched him on tlio rhouldcr. "l-ook hero, old man," be said, "you I Kin t eutiotv your wife with nny world Utoiis. "What's that?" asked tho brlde- grtom with something of astonishment In iih voice. Why, I repeatotl the sentenco 'With all my worldly goods I thco endow' sev eral times and, despito my efforts, you ouiu not say it alter mo." Tliu bridegroom seemed perturbed for moment and then n hcamim; light camo into ins ince. Never mind, sir." he said, "she litln't loso a blersetl thing by my fail ure. ttasnington star. Solving It. Patrick, a thrifty tradesman In the oighborhood of tho Dublin docks, was. the story goes in Tit-Hits, a man who oi or spent a penny more than ho ceded to spent); but ho was. neverthe less, as gooti a man at the maklns of nn Irish bull as nny who lived between Itantry nnd linllycastlo. Having ono day occasion to fond letter to u placo at somo distnncd. lat. IcK caned n messenger nnd asked him his prlco lor going such a distance. "It'll boa Bhlllln'," said the man. "Iwlco too much!" said Patrick. Let It bo sixpence." "Nlvvor," anwrored tho messencer The way Is Hint lonely Hint I'd nlvvor go it under n shlllln'." "I-onoly, is it?" raid Pattltk. scratch lug his head. "Faith, an' ve'ro rolcht otv, man, I'll tell yo what wo'll do: make It sixpence, and I'll go wld yo to Knpo yo company! The Fretful Btby In n Omnlbui. correspondent of the London Full Mall Gazette vouches for this incldont: A young woman with n fretful babv In n full omnibus (aloud): 'Toor lit tlo nipper, I suppose I shall end by avlng to take Mm to the "orsnltnl." (HnlsitiB tho child's veil and looking around for sympathy.) "Donf get no rest. 'K Is sufferin' so with small pox." Oh, Sophl Mrs. Hrowno I didn't know your son was at college. Mrs. Malapropos Oh, yes; he's been there two years. Uo'a In the sycamore class now SUPPOSE WK SMILE. HUMOnOUO PARAGRAPHS from THE COMIC PA PER 8, ricaunt Ineldnt ctrrnt th. World OTr-HlOutArCl,tr. mi to Old or rounofssnj Belfc. tloni that KTorybod Will KaJoi "I wnnt a plrce of blue rlWn that will He nicely Into a baiumti knot," nnld the aad-looklo nutn, iddremlm tho saleslady. "Thin piece will aoswrr your pur pose, I think," replied tlioUDt i1(lr "How much do you require!" "It Is to ndoni the ne-k nt nj wife's pet dog," replied the U, with a alckly smile, "na plraao mt it accord- HiKly." Hnvnl l.y the Hi""' hrtlce. Ix)nglelgh-Then you didn't propow to Miss (lotrox, lifter all? Hliortlclgh No. Mr k'wljl, 0f tho signal acrvlco code ssred ma from making a fool of myself. Liotiglolgh-Woll. put inton. Hhortlelgli Just at I w about to commit myself alio bolstrd the cold ware Hag. ju, In A. U.1W' Klrst Automobile (Ilrl-Tfhy do thsr havea wooden Indian outside of aclgsr store? Second Automobile Ulrl-I (rtre It iid' Why do they have a wootltn borse out- aide a leather goods itorcj-l'uck. No After UeaulU. Did the typhoid fcrer leave you with anything?" "No; the doctor pot ItalL" J Was OTerwelebt. "I wish I knew of a good way to raise bread." remarked the wife as she tackled one of her biscuits at the brcakfnst.table. wny not try a uerricn. my urarr auggestixl the brutal other half of the combination. Her Opinion Mr. Qulnn I never gazed upon such beautiful hrlc-n-brac an the Harwoods have In their parlor. And they're had It for years. Mrs. Qulnn (contcmpturusIyl-Oh, It Just shows that they can't afford to keep a servant. If they bad a maid that bric-n-brac would never bo there so long. Chicago News. The Octopus. What!" ejaculated the man. Four hundred dollars for tlia thak drexi?" the Alff. sootlih answered the Jtlfe, sootliln; cursed railroad tiv The Iteverence for .nscurltjr "What tlo you think ortlif new m!n Ister's sermon?" hundred Hr. Cum rox's wife. "Well," he replied, "I guess It wasn't very good." "Upon what do you base your opln lou?" "I understood every word of It nnd lot really Interested." Washington Star. "John! Didn't you swear off swear ing the first of the year?" j on n (who uas just stepped on a tack) I did, and I'm swearing oft again nowl It Must Have Reen. Miss Fisher Now, what would you say my nge was? Mr. Sbarpe Kighteen. Miss Fisher (coyly) How prompt you are. You speak as if you had certain knowledge. Mr. Sbarpe Of course, I knew It was that at one time Philadelphia rrcss. Where Ills Oenliis Bhone. "I tell you that poet Is a genius." "A genius? Why, his stuff Is worst I ever read." the "I know." "Hut why do you call him a genius?' "Hccnuse ho succeeds Itr selling It." Philadelphia Itecord. At the Play. "Where are you golug, my pretty mnld?" To the play, kind sir." she sold. "What do you there, my pretty maid?" "Slander my neighbors, sir," she said. Awful 1'oulbllttr. Neither tho wide ocean nor Iron bars will keep mo from you, my love!" ho cried, fervently. "Hut, Reginald," whispered the Judge's daughter, as she trembled with apprehension, "whnt If papn should Is sue an Injunction?" llehlnd the Bcenes, Denr mo!" exclaimed the soubrette "I've broken one of my earrings. What shall I do?" "Tclephono for a glazier,:' succeatrxl tho low comedian. Chicago News. Up Aitnlmt It. Smith Whnt'g tho trouble, old mnn? You look ns If a stiuall hnd struck you. Jones Worso than that, my boy. I've Just been struck by two squalls. Smith Why, how's that? Jones Got twins nt our house. A It Should lie. Illggs A cousin of mine was married on the west sldo yesterday. Dlggs That a queer. Hlggs What's queer about It? Dlggs-Why didn't ho get married nn all sides while he was about It? ? It Nerer Came Ttnek. "Take my advice. Don't lend Bur roughs nny money." I never did." "Why, you used to, I'm sure, be- caunt" " "Nn: I used to think I was lendlne It to Ii 1 in, but I soon discovered It was purely a gift." Hnmewltat Xllfferent. Hlx Wlndlg evidently In not a man who hides hln light under a bushel. hlx You bet he Isn't. On the con trary, ho considers himself the whole i-leetrlc power house and Imagines the town would be In total darkness If be hnppened to break down. The Ifetort Courteous. Elephant What did tho camel say when the monkey referred to his humps? Olraffe Ho said he didn't want any back talk. None the Heat of Him. Illobbs Hjones has a suit of clothes for every dny In the week. Klobbs So have I. I've got it on now. Philadelphia Itecord. More Important. "Yes," said the old doctor, you should try to have your own carriage, by all means, llecaune when you want to get ton patient quickly " "O!" Interrupted the young M. D.f "I don't think any patient who sent for me would !e likely to die before I reached him." "No, but he might recover before you got there." Philadelphia Post, Courtnhlp Too Kxpenslve. Tens You tlon't mean to say they have broken off their engagement? Jess Yes. Tess Why, I thought they wero per fectly devoted to each other. Jess So they are. You see, they have broken off the engagement so that he may save enough money to enable them to get married. Philadelphia Ircss. "A Toor Kxcnse-" "What is his excuse for not marry ing?" "Says ho doesn't wsnt to wear darn ed socks." elnoth-rflre caused by friction,' "How's that?" "Aw, rabbin" a three thousand-dollar policy on a ?2,000 barn!" Ordinary I'flbrt Wasted. Clara-Is It true that Mabel Is suing her husband for divorce? XInude Yes, and I don't blame ber. She wns handicapped right from tbe start Clara Why, how was that? Maude Her husband had Indigestion before they were married. Chicago News, The Hnd Part. Mrs. Hnttcrson What! You've had fourteen cooks In three months! Mrs. Cattersou Yes. And I didn't please any of them. Life. Justifiable. Biggs I see your friend Cutting has engaged lu a new business. He ad vertises himself as a man milliner. Dlggs Well, what of It? You cer tainly wouldn't expect him to pose as a woman milliner, would you? Chica go News. Other Uses. Mendicant Please, Indy, will you give 10 cents to a poor man to keep lilm from starving? Miss Flyte Mercy no. I enn't afford ltl Why, I've got to get my spring suit this week. Souiervllle Journal. No Other Inference. Sllllcus The secret of happiness Is to marry one's opposite. Cynlcus Then n man must bo a fool to marry a brainy woman. Philadel phia Itecord. The Latter Part. "What part of my sermons do you enjoy most?" asked Itcv. Dr. Long wind. "The conclusions you reach," replied Deacon Kandld. Philadelphia Itecord. Tho Higher lMucatlon. "You believe In the higher educatlou for women?" "Well, I hardly know; but my daugh ter says that now-a-days a girl who can't play basket-ball aud fence Isn't In It." Telephones Hurt ltoads. It Is an Odd fact, but true, that somo steam railroads have complained of the harm done to their best class of passen ger trafflc by the long-distance tele phone, whllo hotels In Western cities hnve also attributed a reduction of patronage to the same cause. Travel between this city and St. Louis, for ex ample, Is said to have been appreciably cut down by tho telephoue. Such a re sult would seem dlftlcult to trace tan gibly, although ono meets people daily who, to avoid weary trips, have gov erned themselves on the Injunction: "Don't travel; telephone," Hut tho tel egraph and the mall have also been de terrents, nnd It there is any vauuiiy to tho alleged reason the high-speed elec tric travel of the future may restore the former conditions. Chicago Chronicle. With ItU Feelings. 'Docs your neighbor's daughter piny?" Playl worse than tnnt; sno tri fles." wine of riches are not strong enough to bear away the expensive tastes they bring. Cieit1lCe The Hngllsh sparrow, which bns made so many enemies In tlio Uastcrn and Central States, hat Invaded tbe Itocky Mountain region. For some time past, T. Ii. A. Cockered reports, It has been known In the northeastern sec tion of New Mexico, at Itaton and Las Vegas, and It seems to be gradually spreading westward and southward, having recently been noticed, for tho Urst time, at Albuquerque. An acre of grass land, according to experiments, gives off not less than 0.4W quarts of water In twenty-four hours, and an acre of sunflowers would give a relatively greater quantity. In fact, swamps have been reclaimed and malarial marshes rendered Inocuous by planting sunflowers or eucalyptus trees, which are great pumpers of wa ter, and also exert other Influences counteracting baneful conditions of air, earth nnd water. Mount 8L Ellas Is 5,520 meters In height. Mount Falrweather Is 4.040 and Mount IOgan Is G,0!7. There Is a higher peak still that has never yet been climbed. It lies In C'JVi degrees of north latitude and In 153 degrees of west longitude and has been called Mount McKlnley. Its altitude Is 0,120 meters or 20.220 feet, and will proba bly remain uncllmbed for many years owing to Its remoteness and to the In herent difficulties of the ascent. In weather forecasting, no clouds are worthy of such attention as the cirrus clouds, which attain a greater eleva tion than any others, averaging In sum mer a height of Ave or six miles above the earth. Their sudden appearance In a clear sky Is generally a signal of foul weather, especially when their stream ers have an upward tendency, for this indicates that the clouds are falling. After heavy rains, on the other band, the formation of these clouds Is often a sign of Improvement In a recent bulletin Issued by the Lick Observatory. C. D. Perrlne, after describing the continued expansion of tbe nebulous rings and spirals around Nova Persel, the new star lu Perseus, adds the Interesting remark: "If this nebula Is expanding In all directions. and should continue to expand at Its present rate, some of It should reach the solar system In 250 years." It may be added that long before It could at tain such extension the nebula would become so rarefied as to be Invlsble, and probably Insensible to any present means of observation. The recurrent alarm about tbe ap proaching exhaustion of the coal sup ply In Great Britain has been fanned a little by the recent appointment of a royal commission to Inquire Into tbe matter. About thirty years ago a slml lar commission Investigated the British coal supply, but since tben. It Is said, unexpected changes In the coal trade have taken place which affect the ques tion,' At present Great Britain pro duces one-third of the world's entire supply of coaL No1Ummeatate,'danger of exhaustion Is feared, but among the duties of tbe new commission Is to In quire Into the possible substitution of other fuel, or the employment of kinds of power not depending upon the use of coal. VALUE OF AN IDEA. One Hrlsrht Youns Man Got a High Price for Ills. An elderly gentleman, whose appear ance correctly Indicated blm to bo a man of wealth, banded a young man a check a few afternoons ago In the lobby of an uptown boteh Observing that It was drawn for $1,000, a friend remarked that the young man must have rendered some Important service to the benevolent gentleman. He has," replied the latter, "ne put $1,000,000 Into my pocket." Why didn't be keep it himself?" asked tbe friend, enviously, as such examples of generosity are rare. Because he could not use It; the $1,000 will be more valuable to blm. I will explain, as neither of us were ac tuated by motives of generosity, but cold business. As you know, I am tbe president of a corporation, which some people call a trust, that Is one of tbe largest ad vertisers In tbe world, as we spend thousands yes, hundreds of thousands of dollars a year In letting tbe people know Just what they must have, what ever else they don't have. We believe In advertising, and this young man knows It, and has profited accordingly. He came to me to-duy. as we are utter strangers, and asked me If I would pay, him $1,000 for an Idea on advertising our goods. 1 did not try to beat him down to $100. n good figure for an Idea, but promptly told him that I would gladly pay his price If, upon communicating to mo tbe Idea, I considered It worth what he demanded. Otherwise I would pay blm what I. and not he, considered It worth. To this he readily assented, and In an hour's talk he explained to me the brightest Idea on advertising I havo ever received out of thousands of sug gestions. Wo will make over $1,000,000 profit Insldo of a year on Increased sales and permanent business retained. So, you see, his price was cheap. Fortunes have been made In busi ness by the advertising of a slnglo suggestion lu such a manner that the public see It out of the great mass of printed matter going through their hands, and this tldo of ndvcrtlsuient flows so rapidly that thero must be something above another which at tracts public attention. This 'some thing' was what that bright young man gave to me, and I am very much obliged to him." Washington Star. MR. CnOKER'S WANTAGE. The Bort of Place It Is and Why He Went There. In these days of Winchester festivi ties and national millenniums. It has been Bomewbat too widely forgotten that the towu where King Alfred was born celebrated the anniversary of his birth more than fifty years ago, not only by a statue, which stands In the Wnntngo market place, but by tho re organization of an ancient grammar school, where most of the hardy yeo men farmers In that district received their education, Few more appropri ate memorials to the founder of Kur llsh educntlon could bavo been con ceived, nnd Miss Gibbons has been well advised to take advantage of tbe present Interest In all that pertains to tho great West Saxon leader by Issuing an nuthorltatlre history of the town which gavo him birth. The quiet town of Wantage has sud denly found Itself placarded with a strange notoriety In the last year or two. No doubt It was chiefly Its al most uncqualcd opportunities for train ing raco horsos that first attracted the eelebrnted Mr. Croker to this district, a dlstrfct whlcli persistently claims the honor of tho birth of Eclipse, against all tho assertions of tho Inhab itants of Windsor Great Park or tho Isle of Dogs; and sportsmen who fol low tho doings of thoroughbreds In training are by now well accustomed to turning to the news of Wantago for n. report of what Mr. Morton, or Mr. Hot ntiy, or Mr. Bobson has been dolug with his 2-year-olds. But by such passing phases of pub licity the town Is very little disturbed. It was content for a long time with tbe reputation of King Alfred. Then Bishop Butler of the "Analogy" con ferred a more modern luster upon the town where he was born and educated, and In these last years It was the en ergy and organization of another But ler. "Butler of Wantage," as the dean of Lincoln was called, to the end of his strenuous career, which finally raised the little Berkshire town out of Its old rut and placed It In tbe forefront of model educational centers. Tbe name Is associated, too, with that of tbe peer, only lately dead, who took It for his title. Lord Wantage did much for the place In which ho was so largely Interested, and among tbe most picturesque records of his generosity will ever be that Gallery of the Vic toria Cross, where tho first heroes of that splendid decoration arc commem orated by the nrt of Chevalier Desan- ges. It would bo n pity, says the Lon don Telegraph, If this historic series were left Incomplete by tbe lack of the more recent owners of the cross In the period after the artist's work here pre served was stopped, for It would be difficult to find a more stirring or In teresting collection of patriotic pic tures In any gnllery In tbe world. TO WHOM DOE8 BABY BELONG ? Three Women Claim It and Natnrallr There la a Tangle, The chief magistrate In tbe Canton of Berne, Switzerland, has been called upon to give Judgment In a most com plicated case, which suggests the prob lem submitted to King Solomon about twenty-nine centuries ago, says tbe London Mall. A tailor named Meier, who married a Swiss girl three years ago, threat ened to divorce her because they had no family. At the end of last year ha went to Germany on business. A few months afterward he received a letter from bis wife with tbe good tidings of tbe birth of a child. ' TUeitalhcr was overjoyed,",andoro pafyl . to'returnTio-erne. The cWll? however, died soon after Its birth, anil tbe poor wife was afraid to tell her husband. So she determined to adver tise for n. newly born child. Forty eight hours afterward a woman called on Mme. Meier with a baby, and a bar gain was struck transferring the child, which was registered as Mme. Meier's child. The husband paid his wife a flying visit, saw the new-born babe and re turned to Germany a happy man. A little while ago the real mother of the child appeared, and, having repaid the money which she bad received, de manded ber child. In this dilemma Mme. Meier again advertised, this time for a little girl 0 months old, of whom a detailed description was given. To her great Joy a woman appeared with an Infant so like her own that any observer would have taken the two children for twins. Again a bargain was struck, and Mme. Meier had ar ranged everything to return her first adopted child to Its mother when this child caught cold and died. Tho real mother (of No. 1) then turn ed up and refused to take Mme. Meter's word, although the death certificate was shown her, and sbe claimed baby No. 2, which she swore was her own. To make matters still more compli cated, the mother of No. 2 baby now came upon tbe scene and claimed her child. Neither promises nor threats had any effect on the two women, who both claimed tbe same baby. In de spair Mme. Meier wrote to her hus band In Germany, making a clean breast of tho matter, and telling him what a terrible predicament she was In. The husband arrived borne on the fol lowing day and refused to believe his wife's story, had everything packed up and took bis wife and child off to Ger many with blm. At the Instigation of her husband. Mme. Meier has now put lu a claim for tho child also, and tbe magistrate. therefore, has the herculean task be fore him of deciding to which of the three "mothers" tho child belongs. Somewhat Disquieting. "How did old Btsslnger treat you when you asked him for Maud?" lie got the start of mo by fiercely Inquiring whnt I meant by my atten tions to Minnie. I told blm I hadn't paid nny attentions to Minnie. Then ho roared right out and asked me why I hadn't. I said It was because I pre ferred Maud. Tben bo looked' at ma pityingly nnd said I was tho sixth Idiot to apply for ndmlsslon to tho family. I mustered up courage to ask him who the other five were, and ho replied that they were his tlvo bous-Iii-Iuw. 'Not ono of them knew enough to take Min nie,' be suld, "and yet she Is tho only one of tho bunch worth marrying, I said It was a matter of taste, I sup posed, but I couldn't help preferring Maud. 'All right. It's your funeral,' ho said. 'Maud Is yours. Let's have something.' "Cleveland Plain Dealer. Loss of Vessols. Four per cent of Balling vessels and -Vi per cent of steamships are lost In a years. A boy's Idea of a big man Is a man who has a town named after him.