THE SOUTH WIND.
Wind thnt sings of tho drcnmy South
When the palo first blossoms woo the
bee,
Wind thnt flings from a golden mouth
Tender spray of tha summer sen,
Wind thnt keeps for us light nud bloom
That cradles the bird lu the tree-top
nest,
Wind that sleeps In the lilac's plume,
Of the winds of heaven wo lovo the
best.
Over tho springing whcnt-flelds pass,
And over the small home gardens fare,
Evermore bringing to grain nnd grass
And tho flowers thy breath of blessing
rare.
Give us tho cup of thy wine to taste,
O wind of tliu South, so strong nnd
fleet I
Never n drop of Its joy to wnste,
In the days of tho springtime coy and
sweet.
Woman's Home Companion.
A COOL SCOUNDREL
V profession Isn't
a popular one.
There Is consid
erable prejudice
against It. I don't
myself think It's
much worse than
a good many
others. However,
that's nothing to
do with my story.
Some years ngo
me nnd the gen
tleman who was nt thnt time connected
with me In business he's met with re
verses since nnd nt present Isn't able to
go out wns looking around for n Job,
bolug nt the time rather bard up. as
you might say. We struck n small
country town I nln't going to give It
nway by telling where It was or what
the name of It was. There wns one
bank there. The president was a rich
old duffer; owned the mills, owned the
bank, owned most of the town. There
wasn't no other officer but the cashier,
nnd they bud a boy who used to sweep
out and run errands.
The door was chilled Iron, about tho
neatest stun I ever worked on. 1 went
on steady enough; only stopped wbeu
Jim which, as I said, wasn't bis real
name whistled outside, the watchman
toddled by. By nnd by, when I'd got
pretty near enough, I heard Jim so to
speak whistle nguln. I stopped, and
pretty soon I . beard footsteps outside,
and I'm blowed If they .dldu't come
right up the bank steps, nnd I heard a
'key In the lock. I was so dumbfound
ed when I heard that that you could
bare slipped the bracelets right on inc.
I picked up my lantern, nnd I'll be
hanged If I dldu't let the slide slip down
And throw the light right on to the.
4-W-J-M-5-J-
- -door, and there jyAS-lno-nf eslue 5t" ' Iu-
-et'oao or calling for help, ns I supposed
he would, he took a step inside the door
and shaded his eyes with his hand and
looked at me. I knowed I ought to
knock him down and cut out, but I'm
blest If I could, I was that surprised.
"Who are you?" says be.
"Who are you?" says I, thinking that
was an Innocent remark as be com
menced It and a-trylng all the time to
collect myself.
"I'm the president of the bank," says
be, kinder short; "something the mat
ter with the lock?"
By George, the idea came to me thenl
"Yes, sir," says I, touching my cap.
"Mr. Jenulngs, be telegraphed this
morning as the lock was out of order
and be couldn't get in, and I'm come
on to open It for him."
"I told Jennings a week ngo," says
be, "that he ought to get the lock Axed.
Where Is he?"
"He's been a-wrltlng letters, nnd he's
gone up to bis bouse to get another
letter he wanted for to answer."
. "WelL vrby don't you go right on?"
says he.
"I've got almost through?" says I,
"and I didn't want to finish up nnd
open the vault till there was somebody
here."
"That's very creditable to you," says
be. "a very proper sentiment, my man.
You can't," he goes on, coming round
by the door, "be -too particular about
avoiding the very suspicion of evil."
"No, sir," says I, kinder modest like.
"What do you suppose Is the matter
with the lock?" says he.
"I don't rightly know yet," says I,
wbut I rather think It's a Httlo on ac
count of uot being oiled enough. These
ere locks ought to be oiled about onco
a year."
"Well," says be, "you might ns well
go right on, now I am here. I will stay
till Jennings comes. Can't I help you
hold your lantern, or something of
that sort?"
The thought came to mo like a flash,
nud I turned around and says:
"How do I know you're the presi
dent? I ain't ever seen you nfore, and
you may bo a-trying to crack this bank
far all I know."
"That's a very proper Inquiry, my
innn," says be, "and shows a most re
markable degree of discretion. I con
fess that I should not have thought of
the position In which I wns placing you.
However, I can easily convince you
that It's nil right. Do you know what
tho president's name is?"
"No, I 'don't," says I, sorter surly.
"Well, you'll find it on that bill," said
he, tnking n bill out of his pocket. "And
you see the same nnmo on these let
ters," and bo took some letters from
his coat.
I suppose I ought have gone right on
thenbut I was beginning to feel Inter
ested In making him provo who ho
was, so I suys:
"You might bavo got them letters to
put up n Job on me."
"You're & very houest man," says he,
I MICHAEL G. MULHALL,
Michael G. Mulhnll, whose death was
recently nnnounccd, was perhaps tho
best known statistician of tho present
ilny. Siullinll wna born nt Klllluey,
near Dublin, sixty-four years ago, nud
his career was full of adventure, llo
wns educated lu Homo nt the Irish Col
lege, nnd he wns the pioneer of the tin
gllsh newspaper press In South Ameri
ca, tho first paper printed there, In our
language, having been the Standard,
produced by Mulhnll nt Huenos Ayres
In 1S5S. In 1S7S he returned to En
gland, nnd proceeded to make his niiuio
as the author of "The Progress of tho
World," "Tho History of Prices," nnd
the Invaluable "Dictionary of Statis
tics." which finds n place In every ref
erence library. Mulhnll wns married
to n lady whose book, "Between tho
Amazon nud tho Andes," placed her
among the rouks of Indies who travel
well nud write well of their travels.
"one nmoug a thousand. Don't think
I'm nt all offended nt your persistence
No, my good fellow, I like It, I like It,1
und be laid his hand on my shoulder.
"Now, here," says he, taking a bundle
of bis pocket, "Is n package of $10,000
In bonds. A burglar wouldn't be apt to
carry these around with him, would
ho? I bought them In the city yester
day, and I stopped here to-night on
my way home to place them In the
vault, nnd I may add that your simple
anil manly honesty has so touched me
that I would willingly leave them lu
your hands for safe keeping. You
ueedn't blush nt my praise."
I suppose I did turn sorter red when
I see them bonds.
"Arc you satisfied now?" says he.
I told him I was, thoroughly, and so
I was. So I picked up my drill again,
nnd gave him my lantern to hold, so
that I could see the door. I heard Jim,
as I call him, outside once or twice,
and I like to have burst out laughing,
thinking how he must be wondering
what was going on Inside. I worked
away, and kept explaining to bltn what
I was a-trylng to do. He wns very
much Interested In mechanics, be said,
and be knowed as I wns a man as, was
up In my business by the way I went
to work. He nsked me about what
wages I got and how I liked my busi
ness nnd said be took quite a fancy to
me. I turned round once lu n while
and looked nt him a-settlng up there
ns solemn ns a blled owl, with my dark
lantern In his bund, nnd I'm blamed if
I didn't think I should have to holler
right out.
1 got through the lock pretty soou
and put In my wire nnd opened It.
Then he took hold of the door and
opened the Vault.
- "I'll put my bonds In," says be, "and
go home. You can lock up nnd wait
till Mr. Jennings comes. I don't sup
pose you will try to tlx the lock to
night" I told hlra I shouldn't do anything
more with it now, as we could get in
before morning. "Well, I'll bid you
good-night, my man." says he, ns I
swung the door to again.
i.,.f i.n i i,r,i .iim. l.v name, whis-1
tie, and I guessed the watchman was
aborning up the street.
"Ah "says I, "you might speak to the
.f.r.' :"y7' , ,L .Li nii him '
HWULUUU 11 J WW o.. u.u,
to keep nn extra lookout to-night."
"I will." says he, and we both went
to the front door.
"There comes the watchman up the
street," says he. "Watchman, this
man has been Axing the bank lock nnd
I want you to keep a sharp lookout to
night. He will stay here until Mr. Jen
nings returns."
I saw Jim, so called, In the shadow
on the other side of the street, ns I
stood on the step with tho watchman.
"Well," says I to the watchman, "I'll
go and pick up my tools nnd get ready
to go."
I went back to the bank, nnd It didn't
take long to throw open the door and
stuff them bonds Into the bag. There
was some boxes lying around and n
safe as I should rather have liked to
have tackled, but It seemed like tempt
ing Providence after the luck we'd had.
I looked at my watch and see It was
Just a quarter past 12. There was an
express went through at half past 12.
I tucked ray tools In the bag on the top
of the bonds nnd walked out to tho
front door. Tho watchman was on tho
steps.
"I don't believe I'll wait for Mr. Jen
nings," says I. "I suppose It will be all
right If I give you his key."
"That's all right," says tho watch
man. "I wouldn't go away very far from
the bank," says I.
"No. I won't," says bo. "I'll stay
right about hero all night."
"Good night," says I, and I shook
bands with him, nnd me and Jim
which wasn't his right name, you un
derstandtook the 12:30 express, and
the best part of tho Job was wo never
heard nothing of It.
It never got Into the papers. Argo
naut
ARE AFRAID OF MIRRORS.
Moat Wild Animate Take FrluUt at
Their Own Reflection.
A glance nt himself In a mirror yes
terday frightened Big Ben, tho zoo's
largest lion, so badly, says tbo Phila
delphia Press, that tho keepers In
charge feared ho would do violence to.
himself. Ho was lu an angry mood all
day and paced restlessly up and down
bis cage, stopping at the bars and rav
ing at every chance passerby.
The antics of a small boy particular
ly excited bis Iro and be raged and
stormed as only a big Hon can. The
lad enjoyed tho performance and wait
ed until Ben bad finished his tirade,
FAMOUS IRISH STATISTICIAN'
M1C1IXHL O. MULI1AI.U
nnd then drew a hand mirror from un
der tils coat nud held It directly In
front of Uen.
Tho Hon looked over nnd then Jumped
for the Intruder thnt dnred face htm
lu such n fashion, but brought' up
against the bars with force enough to
throw him to the floor. Surprised at
the appearance of the Invader, he filled
the house with bis roars. The keepers
ran to the cage and endeavored to quiet
him, but he continued tho uproar until
exhausted.
In the meantime tho adventurous
youth had disappeared and was dis
covered In front of the wolves' cage
trying to excite them In the snnie way.
He was led from the garden nud warn
ed to keep away.
About a year ago a serious disturb
anco at the zoo wns due to the flashing
of n mirror In front of the lions' den.
At that time the Hons, with tho excep
tion of one or two of tho wildest, were
kept In one cnge. A visitor held n mir
ror lu front of them one afternoon nnd
tho beasts were thrown Into panic.
They fought and dashed at the bars
with such violence thnt It wns feared
several would die ns a result of their
frantic struggles. It required tho com
bined efforts of all the keepers for sev
eral hours before they could bo quieted.
Best Ia-j;s In the World.
The most lifelike nnd serviceable ar
tificial legs In the world nrc manufac
tured lu America. Enormous quanti
ties of these limbs nrc shipped to Eu
rope every year.
The first great boom In the artificial-
leg business wns brought about by the
civil war. Since that time railroad and
trolley car accidents have kept up an
ever Increasing deniatid. Another fac
tor has been the general use of anti
septics. Tbo mortality among those
who have their legs amputatcd-ls'fnr
less than formerly nud n large propor
tion of the survivors become patrons
of the wooden-leg fnctorles.
The old-fashioned peg-leg Is prnctlc
ally a thing of the past. The modern
artificial leg shows a great advance
over the old forms. Every Improve-
'cut has been with the Idea of greater
simplicity.
T",e nlal f numufnetur-
era to Improve the tit of the legs.
The best models now cost $100. It
costs from $5 to $i!5 a year to keep one
of these In order.
Few women wear artificial legs. On
the other band, it Is becoming more
common to fit limbs to children. Legs
are made for children sometimes be
fore they can walk. They are fitted ns
soon ns the child learns to stand and
make It possible for It to develop sym
metrically. Sorrow in-tho House.
There Is a tightness in the "help''
market of San Francisco. Servant girls
have been growing scarce for some
months, and at present the stringency
has become marked to a dire degree.
The surface Indications aro a falling off
of numbers at the employment offices,
nn absence of response to advertise
ments for housemaids and a grovvlug
tendency among those who are engaged
to throw up their places at short notice.
A deeper sign Is the standard of the
wages of house servants. Twenty-five
dollar places now bring thirty dollars,
thirty-dollar cooks bring thirty-live or
forty dollars, while twenty-dollar
housemaids cannot be found. In a num
ber of households where It has been
customary to bavo the housework done
by female servants, tbo mistress, from
utter Inability to secure one, has been
obliged to hire Japanese day labor at a
dollar and a half a day. This seems
to be tbo time when the energetic East
ern woman should follow tho now pro
verbial advice and go West.
Long-Lived Birds.
It used to bo bellcvod that tho ravens
lived longer than any other species of
birds, and It was said that their ago
frequently exceeded n century; Itcccnt
studies of the subject indicate that no
authentic Instnnce of n raven surpass
ing seventy years of ago Is on record.
But parrots have been known to live
one hundred years. Ono lost Its mem
ory at CO and Its sight nt 00! Thero Is
a record of a golden, eagle which died
at the age of 118 years. Another gold
en eagle was kept In the Tower of Lon
don for ninety years. A third died nt
Vienna aged 104 years. Gecso and
swans aro tenacious of Jte, and ex
traordinary accounts exist of tho grent
age that they have attained. BufTon
nnd other authorities havo credited
them with 80 and 100 years of life.
Tho averngo woman puts off ac
knowledging her wedding presents as
long as possible, knowing that tho do
nors expect tho acknowledgment to
contain an Invitation to visit her.
Ion cuusoe's island.
WHERE nODINSON AND HIS MAN
FRIDAY LIVED.
llo.toit Min'i Vltlt t.) the Little Dot
on tho Map nt the Pncltla Ocean
Muile Patuou tu the Cluriiihiir I'oii
of Altxait ler le Vot,
John Burns, of Huston, has been on
n Journey to Junn lernuiiuoz. tuo ru
inous Island home of Uoblnson Crusoe,
lie saw many of Iho places on tho Isl
nn.i Hint were frequented by Aluxnmlcr
Selkirk, nnd where ho rorlled himself
against real nnd Imaginary enemies.
Mr. Burns took several ploturoH of
the inoi'o notable phiccH ami stroneu
about the Island, even climbing tho
high mountains. It Is u rockrlbbed.
rather desolnte possession of tho OUII
iau Government, 400 miles off tho Chil
ian coast.
There Is a good little bnrbor on tho
west side of the strange Island," said
Mr. Burns, "and It Is hero thnt tho
prosperous nnd contented Inhabitants
nro located. The colony consists of
eighty Germans nnd some unlives of
Chill, ruled by Alfred Bodt, who Is
Governor of Juan Fernandez, and re
ceives $100 n month.
"The bny Is pretty and nllvo with lob
Htnrs. mackerel, and lellowtull. The
yellowtoll aro from one to two foot
long,, nnd, like the mackerel, nro lino
entlng. As for the lobsters, I do not
bellevo thero nro any liner ones any
where. There Is a small cannery on
the Island, where some of the tlsh nro
put up for shipment. A schooner
comes lu every twenty dnys from Val
paraiso and gets some of tho llsh nud
lobsters, and also, when required, takes
nwny some of tho wild gnmo. Beyond
the visits of this crnft the Island Is as
lonely as when Do Foe wrote of It, or
when It was tho resort of the Spanish
buccaneers.
"I visited the lnrge cavo where Bob
Inson Crusoe nindo himself safe from
snvage barbarians, as ho supposed,
when he discovered the footprints of
Friday in tho sands. Tho cave runs
hack into tho mountains for nt least
fifty feet. It does not stnrt from tho
water, but has Its mouth somewhat In
land. It is largely grown over with
bright green leaves and Is attractive
even to this day. Thero nre other
smaller caves near nt hand.
"Tho Island Is covered with wild
goats, wild donkeys, and wild pigs.
The natives, odd to relate, catch tho
goats In tho same wny that it Is report
ed thnt Selkirk did.
"The only fruit that I snw thero were
the fig nnd the quince. Tho fig trees
nre numerous nnd grow from fifteen
to thirty feet high. I think that almost
nny kind of fruit would flourish there.
"Altogether the Island Is a strange
little principality, eighteen miles long
nnd six wide, with mouutulns reaching
to a height of 3.000 feet. It is pretty
well watered, and Is greener und more
nttractlvo every way than I had ex
pected to find It. The harbor nnd tho
little colony on tho shore nro very pic
turesque. The water Is ns blue as In
digo most of the time, nud this, com
bined with n clear sky and soft air,
and tho singing of birds, makes it n
unique plnce, and altogether one par
tlcuiarly Iltted for the hero of the dis
tant island, who became the theiiiu of
Do Foe's pen."
PAUL JONES AND THE DUCHESS.
Great Capta'n Wai Not to I'e Outdone
In French Courteay.
The Duchess of Chartres wns an en
thusiast In the cause of American lib
erty, nnd a warm f ricud of Its great na
val champion, Paul Jones, whom sho
nicknamed the "Untitled Knight of tho
Sea." The Duchesg was a royal Prin
cess nnd a very great lady, and Cap
tain Jones was a sailor, self-educated,
and the son of a Scotch gardener, but
In tho exchange of gifts and compli
ments which, according to the custom
of tho day In France, attended their
friendship he wns not to bo outshone.
At a luncheon which sho gave Just
before ho sailed from France In the
Banger, on that famous crulso of his
which carried the wnr to the very shore
of Brltnln, It was tho good fortuno of
Paul Jones to shnro In a conversation
touching a French naval engagement
In which the grandfather of tho Duch
ess bad borno a conspicuous part, and
to defend and explain bis maneuvers
on tuat occasion snowing n Knowl
edge of every ship and overy captain
engaged, and winning on tho spot the
nrdent personal adherence of Mine, do
Chartres.
At tho closo of tho feast sho present
ed to him a valuable watch which had
been her grandfather's. Taken by sur
prise, tho American captain neverthe
less accepted It with a graco that
charmed tho courtly company, prom
ising In return, If fortuno favored him,
ho would some day "lay an English
frigate at her feet."
It was a darlug boast, but In A. 0.
Buolls' recent biography of Paul Jones
It is related how he kept It. Within
two years occurred tho marvelous vic
tory of the Bon Honimo Blchard over
tho Serapls, concerning which tho vic
tor wroto tho Duchess a letter, ending:
'The enemy surrendered at 35 minutes
past 10 p. in., by your watch, which I
consult only to fix tho moment of vic
tory." That was a phrnso to delight a socie
ty that reveled; In pretty phrases, and
the Duchess was amply satisfied.
When Paul Jones reached Paris sho
gavo a grand banquet In his honor.
Just boforo It ended ho reminded her
of her gift and his promise, A servant
was sent to his room and returned
with a long leather case, which tho
Duchess took amid tho exclamations
and eager curlorlty of tho company.
'Your royal highness perceives tho
Impossibility of keeping my promise In
kind," explained tho Kulglit of tho Hon,
.iiiiiinir. "Tim English frlgnto proved
to bo a forty-four on two ilccltH, and sho
Is now at Lorloiit with Kronen coiors
flying. Tho best I can do lownril keep
lug my word of two years ago la (o
plueo lu your dainty hands tho sword
surrendered tu mo by ono of Iho brav
est of men -tho sword of Captain tho
Hon. Blchard Pearson of bis Brllnnnlo
majesty's Into ship, tho Sorapls."
Yuuth's Companion.
THE WORLD'S RICHEST MAN.
Alfred Belt, Whine I'orlimd l!xced
$t,omi,0(HMii.
Humors from Loudon say that nn
American lady Is to marry tho richest
man In tho world. The lady Is Mrs.
Adolf Lnndenburg, widow of u Now
York banker who was drowned nt sea
a few years ago, nnd who Is said to bo
ouo of tho most beautiful women lu
metropolitan society. Her prlvnto for
tuno amounts lo about $500,000. Sho Is
tall and stately, Is fund of fox hunting
nud Is a superb horsewoman. Kho has
spent milch time in London, where hIio
met her alllaneed, Alfred Belt, a Gor
man. Mr. Belt's wealth Is said to exceed
ten hundred millions. Ho Is tho brains
ami tho biggest part of tho diamond
trust, and Is tho principal owner of tho
famous Do Beers dluiiihud mines at
Klniberley nud of tho gold mines
further north. Ho Is n partner of Cecil
lthodcs, but that astute Englishman Is
only nn Incident In tho diamond lino
when coinpnred with Belt. Bhodes
tins. i.AKnrNiurnn.
Ai.niKit iiKir.
was a lata comer, nud tho Ingenious
German had all but completed tho
work of organization when Cecil put lu
his appearance at Klinhcrlcy.
Mr. Belt Is 17 years old. His father
wns a well-to-do merchant lu Hamburg
twenty-live years ago, and Alfred was
n clerk lu the concern. About that time
tho South African excitement begun to.
grow Important, and the Hamburg mer
chant wns nsked for largo credits by
business men near tho diamond Ileitis.
Alfred Belt wns then 22, shrewd, capa
ble, cautious, and precocious. Ills fath
er sent him out to South Africa to in
vest Igato tho general state of business
there and determine whether the trado
demanded tbo credits and whether tho
credits were good.
Young Belt saw and appreciated tho
situation. Ho began by buying up tho
scattered and conflicting claims. To
accomplish this work be was liberally
backed by Ids father and his father's
friends In Germany. Tbo result was
tho great Do Beers Company, which
for many years has paid TVj per cent
on lis bonds and from 20 to -10 per
cent on Its stock. It Is capitalized nt
$10,000,000. Next came the gold dis
coveries, ami here, too. Belt was tho
llrst organizer In tbo Hold.
Mr. Belt Is tho poorest-looking rich
man on earth. Ills clothes are so very
plain ns to be almost shabby. Ho never
discusses bis trade with outsiders, but
beneath his mild and apparently diffi
dent exterior Is a capacity for business
unsurpassed by thnt of any man lu tbo
great commercial countries of Christen
dom. His wealth has been estimated
at $1,000,000,000, but this takes no ac
count of tho few barrels of diamonds
ho keeps stowed nway for fear of low
ering prices.
Ho AVoulil Not Ho Benton.
"Talking about extraordinary things.
sold ouo tlrst-chiss passenger to another
on an Atlantic liner, "I once swallowed
tho contents of eighteen eggs nt u sit
ting. That takes some beating."
"Which I can give It," returned tho
other. "On one occasion, let me tell
you, I got outside tho inner meaning of
no less than twenty-four eggs, sir;
think of that!"
"Ah I I knew I had a nort of pre
sentiment that you would beat me If I
told my talc first. But uro you suro of
those twenty-four eggs? I may not
bavo heard you quite distinctly. It's a
lot, you know."
"Yes; nnd I did It, fairly and square
ly. Twenty-four hens' eggs at a single
sitting."
"Oh, I sec," said tho man who had
spoken first, nnd ho said It In the man
ner of ono who has solved an Incom
prehensibility, "hens eggs! I. thought
you meant ostriches' eggs, tho same as
tho clghtccu I swallowed!" Modern
Society,
Itcuily to Start.
A lecturer In u California town bad
In bis audience a lank young man who
drank lu every word with flattering
avidity, and whoso eyes bulged with
delight at tho pictures thrown on tho
screen.
As the evening woro on, tho lecturer
got Into tho habit of looking at this
entranced listener, and nftcr a while
had almost tho feeling that tho lecture
was Intended for him alone.
This evidently was tbo Idea which
possessed the lank young man as well,
for when the lecturer said:
"And now I will ask you to go with
mo two miles into tho Jungle," ho
sprang to his feet.
"Anywhero you say, mister," ho
shoutod, with kindling eyes, "If you
can Just hold on long enough for mo to
cut homo and get my gun!"
When you get a now Job you always
try for a time to please, and work hard
and Intelligently. Why don't you keep
It up?
RHEUMATISM
CtvUBod by nn lmpuro Condition
of tho Blood How 11 May
Da Permnnontly Cured.
JVnm llf Mirror, Unnrhnlrr, S. It,
Although rhe.umntlsiii Is ouo of tho
most painful anil dnngoroiiH ot thu
mail)' troubles wliloli nllllot mankind,
It can bo permanently cured if a pr(,p.
cr course of treatment Is taken. Thu
real cause of rheumatism is tlm pres.
onco (if acid in tlio blood and tha
only ouro is lo purify, nourish and
strengthen this vital fluid. The best
speoillo yet discovered for this purpose
is Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale.
People ami tlm iuiiiiIkt of otiics they
have effected in eases of this stubborn
disease is wonderful Mrs. S. H.
Lovolaud, of No. lllli West Hai ck
street, Manchester, N. II., was cured
of a severe attack of rlieiiinutiHiii by
the uso of this remedy. She says:
"Several years ngo ono of my knees
was injured by a fall. About the first
of June, 1KII7, rheumatism set in ami
at lust got so bail that I could not
bend my kneo. It was very painful
ami I was unable to move about. I
tried various remedies, but not one of
them relieevd mo in any way.
"In the latter part of August,
nearly three months after the pain
and stillness begun, a friend, Mrs.
Itotlnvell, of Kvorott, Mass., told )m)
of Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Palo
People. I willingly gavo them a trial
mid uxH)rienced relief in a few days.
I continued until I hail taken three
boxes mill was able to Ik-iiiI the knee
nud go up and down stairs without
difficulty. I have since taken thu
pills a number of times for other
troubles nnd always with good results.
"I luivo recommended Dr. Williams'
Pink Pills for Pale People many times.
I bavo uot learned with what eiTcct
they were taken, excepting in the easo
of two of my relatives nnd n young
woman living in my family, each of
whom was greatly liencllttcd. I feel
that I cannot say too much in favor
of tho pills."
Signed, -MILS. 8. I). l.OVF.LAND.
Kulwerilicd and sworn to lieforo mo
this i!7tli day of February, 11)01.
JOHN (I. LANK.
Real Notary Public.
At nil druggists or direct from Dr.
Williams Medicine Co., Schenectady,
N. Y. Price, CO cents per box; six
boxes, $2.50.
Offered a Small Figure.
A fow dayn since a popular attorney
called upon another member of tho
profession and askod his opinion upon
a certain point of law. The lawyer to
whom thu question wan addressed
drew himself up and said; "' h
orally got paid for what I knc'" Tho
qtiestlonur drew a half dollar from his
pocket, handed It to thu other nnd
coolly remarked: "Tell mo ull you
know and give ma tho cdnngu."
t :
It Clouded Her Seitflty.
"Yes, sir, my wife Is a truly good
woman. I know of but ono thing that
has disturbed her mind since sho
Jolnod tho church, last month,"
"Some question In theology?"
"Nat exactly. It was more serious
thnn thnt. Sho was riled because a
woman on tho next street, who owos
her nn Invltntlon, failed to ask her to
a Dutch lunch." Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The First Rule.
Now Boardor Can I got my meals,
on tlmo
Landlady No: you will hnvo to pay
In advance Harlem Life.
Unusually Lucky.
Wlgg Is bo lucky?
Wngg Lucky! t should say so. Ho
says ho can always light his plpo with
his last match. Cleveland Leader.
Out ol Order.
"Why did't thoy permit Grump to
spenk at tho citizens' franchise meet
ing?"
"'His liver was out of order."
Pitting Them.
Culler Where is your mamma,
Ethel?
Ktlicl (who has Wen watching tbo
preparation of cherry jiio) Why,
she's out in tho kitchen unbutton
ing a lot of cherries,
Standing In Ills Own Light.
'.'I'll never givo you up, Miss Per
kins never!"
"That's it, Mr. Hopkins, I'd be
afraid to marry such a determined,
obstinate, man as you"
On the train.
When a traveler in tho Grand
Duchy of linden, Germany, wants to
send a tolcgram whilo ho Is in tho
train, ho writes tho mcssago on a
postcard with tho request that it bo
wired, nuts on a stamp, and drops it
into tho train letter box. At tho
noxt station tho box is cleared and
tho message sent out.
The Man and the Microbe,
At this point in tho fablo tho Man
marvolcd greatly in that ho had not
met tho Microbo long since
"In what guho havo you traveled,
pray?" asked tho Man.
"Why, for tho most part in tho
guys who didn't boil tho drinking
watorl" replied tho Microbo, candidly.
Of course, hvcicnio scionco was
destined to chango nil this.
Definition.
"What do you mean when you al
ludo to our friend as u hypcrcritioal
person?"
"A hypricitical person," answered
Senator Sorghum, "is ono who sub
jects things to unreasonable tests.
IIo is tha sort of n man who will take
a speech that has made u hit and sit
calmly down and try to parse it."