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About Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 1, 1899)
A PATENT 66 VISUTOIt. Jabez." Old Farmer Smith rose from the dinner-table nud ptcked up his hat from the side of the chair. "Who is It, wife?" he asked. "A young man." she replied. The farmer's Up set tight as he wit nessed a glance which passed between his wife and his daughter. "I understand." ho said, severely, with a determined look at the anxious face of the girl. "Thttt London chap, Leslie Austin." "Yes, father," she replied. "I'll settle his business for him," and Farmer Smith strode into the parlor, his heavy boots sounding a death-knell to the faint hopes in the sinking heart of pretty, winsome Alice Smith. "So you're here again, eh?" The brusque interrogatory did not eeem to crush the courteous, handsome young man, who arose and faced the farmer. "Yes, Mr. Smith." was his reply. "And on the same old errand, I sup pose?" "Yes, sir; I came to ask your con cent " "You can't have it!" Interrupted Farmer Smith, savagely. "Alice ain't going to marry you or anybody else, Just yet." "But time " "You've heard me, Mr. Leslie Austin. You can't have my daughter." "I love her. Mr. Smith." "Nonsense! She's too young to know her own mind. I have said my say, and the harvest hands are waiting. Good-day, sir!" Under such determined resistance, Leslie Austin retreated. He bit his lips nngrily, as he walked rapidly down the road to the village hotel. "It's a shame." decided his friend Bob Townsend, as he heard the dis appointed lover's story. "We think so much of each other," murmured Leslie, mournfully. "You ain't going to give up this way, are you?" asked Bob. Leslie looked up inquiringly. "What else can I do?" he asked. "Marry her," said Bob. "Her father won't consent." "Suppose he don't." Leslie started, but shook his head slowly. "I know what you're hitting at, Bob nnIopement." "Hu're right." "BjUt It could not be." J "WUy not?" Because Alice Is bound to obey bei fat: father, and I am, too, for that matter." r." jjt 4 Bob scowled Imminently. "Nonsense!" he nsplrated, angrily, "See here, Leslie. If you were the responsible chap old Smith thinks yo 'd hesitate; but you ain't mest, well-to-do lawy leeted. and only I ''ce on the far -'r-'bor Jon? v . m, "lift r such rnJymes must ena slmliai "Granted." tAn "Therefore, being In tho rigut,and the old farmer being in one of hlsmud snw noods, I'd outwit him." "How?" The query was encouraging. "Run away with Alice," said Bob. "I can't." "Why not?" "Her father watches her too closely." "That's tho ouly reason, Is It?" "I believe bo." "She's willing?" f i "Presumably ' "And you?" "O, Bob, you're talking nonsense! I might as well go back to London and wait until Mr. Smith changes his mind." "And let some other fellow have Alice. You're a brave lover!" Leslie was despondent. "I have a plan, if you're plucky enough to follow It out," suggested Bob. Leslie's face grow expectant at the hint "What is It?" he asked. "Listen!" What Bob told tho discouraged lover need not bo repeated. The subsequent nets of the conspirators afford a suf ficient explanation. It was the next day that faithful Bob reconnoltered the ground, and found that Farmer Smith had Indeed taken due precaution to prevent his daughter meeting or running away with Leslie. But Bob managed to get a letter to tho fair prisoner n letter after reading which secretly she manifested her ac quiescence to Its contents by an Intel ligent nod to tho messenger. It was the afternoon of the day fol ELOPEMENT. lowing, Just as Farmer Smith had sen! his boys to tho town with a load of p tatoes, and was seated, resting for nn hour or two, on tho front porch, with Alice Industriously sowing by his side, that a vehicle driven by a single occu pant came down the road. Old Jabez looked In profound amaze ment as the vehicle came to a stop. It was a kind of skeleton wagon, with a double scat, and behind it was attached a small rubber hose, with several wheels distributed here and there, near the axle. "In the name of wonder, what have wo here?" he said, as he walked to the gate. Tho driver sprang down. "Jabez Smith?" he asked. The farmer nodded a dignified as sent, little dreaming that the bearded stranger was Bob Townsend In dis guise. "I learn from Inquires in the village that you are quite a scientist, Mr. Smith." Science, of which old Jnbez knew nothing, but nffected much, wns his salient point. Flattered by the strang er's words, he replied pompously: "I reckon I know something about It." "I have come, Mr. Smith," said the stranger, "to show you a new motive power for hay rakes." The farmer's faco fell. "A patent right!" he muttered. "I don't want to buy one," he said, aloud, turning to re-enter the house. "Buy one!" replied the stranger. "This Is not for sale, sir," declared Bob, with quiet dignity. "I desire your opinion as a scientist in regard to the principles involved In Its con struction and operations." The farmer's face grew pleased again. "Happy to give it, sir. If I can be of any use to the world at large by my knowledge of science " "Or make your fellow beings happy, you're ready to sacrillce your valuable time eh, Mr. Smith?" Insinuated Bob. "Certainly, sir." "You can you can, believe me, sir," asseverated the wicked conspirator, earnestly and truthfully. "Have you a rake?" "Yes." "I'll help you bring It out here, and we'll- make a trial trip of this wonder ful machine." A few minutes later the farmer'? aay rake was AbrouiY' out. Bob, made much ado It, ; a rope to the reay ., any tho farmer usly, as he turned adjusted the hose to position. . an air brake, sir. The uH make it do so, to have urate as usual. The air (t offer a resistance to the sh forward the front vehicle, ate the hay. Man and brute demand air why not ve- -no," replied Jabez, some what Uu. i'J perplexed over tho apparent uselesbuEriU of the mnchlne. "Utility and nonreivj S5Hty, (Sir. Smith," rnttled on BobKUle'ssly. "The bypothenuso of tho curve of the diameter of the axle, you perceive, has a circumferential effect upon the spheroid concavity of tho brake. You will understand these terms, Mr. Smith, as a mathematician and sclent- 1st. All rendv?" Farmer Smith, overcome by the lofty words, obeyed mutely, as Bob requested him to get Into the rake seat "I'll drive the preliminary, vehicle," explained Bob, with a serene chuckle at tho fun of his oratory, "and you will watch the effect of the air brake If the friction of the wheels generates air over yonder stretch of meadow. By tho way, Is one of your hands around?" "They've gone to town," replied Jabez, blumly. Ho had a vague consciousness that the stranger was a charlatan, for he could not for tho life of him see what possible use the clumsy combination of wheels and hose could be. "Ah, there's a young ladyl Your daughter, Mr. Smith, I presume?" said Bob, raising his hat politely. "There must be more weight on tho seat of tho front vehicle. If you'll let her take her seat beside me, In the Interests of sci ence, Mr. Smith?" He almost lost his dignified gravity as he saw the suspicious look on the old farmer's face. The last words, "In the interests of science," however, decided Mr. Smith. "Jump In, Alice," ho said, desper ately. The stranger whipped up the horse. Old Jabez, in the rake-scat behind, clung on wildly as tho horue h'os driven briskly. He almost fell forward as there was u break caused by the ropo parting. Bob hud deftly cut It with a knife. "Hold on hold on!" cried old Jabez, as tho new motor-power vehicle dashed forward. Ho stared blankly as It traversed the field, made a ahurp turn to the road, and, gracefully rounded a curve in tho highway, disappeared from view. What did it mean? The boys had taken the horses to town, and ho could not start In pursuit; but ho grew white as ho discerned a fact: He hnd been tricked! He had cooled down considerably when, at nightfall, a carriage drew up before the gate. Ho looked grimly up from benonth his shaggy eyebrows ns Leslie Austin and pretty, blushing Alice came for ward. Bob, following them, wns the first to speak. "The now motor power took up n now passenger dowu the road. Farmer Smith," ho snld. shly. "You wanted to make mnnklnd hnppy, neighbor you've done It." Jnbez mnde a feint to declnre hos tilities, then and there, against the con spirators, but he sank back disarmed In his chair ns the gentle volco of his wife said, pleadingly: "Forgive them, father they are fo happy!" And Farmer Smith had not the heart to say uny. ADMONISHING CHILDREN. Reproof and Advice Must He SHRnr Contcd to lie Ilccdctl. "The universal frailty of our human nnturo which dislikes to be told of faults must be taken Into consideration when we converse with our grown-up Hillilron." writes Knte Upson Clark In the Womnn's Home Companion. "After they pass the age of fourteen or lirteeu thev usually betray a greater sensitive ness than before to evcu reasonable Itv tln time thev reach - , eighteen or twenty this tendency has become a marked trait. They have thou become substantially like the rest of us. Even from the lips or loving fathers or mothers nud In strict pri vacy they want nothing but the same sort of honey on which our own sotils love to feed. They wish no allusion bade to the facts that they are acqulr lug nasal tones; that their gait Is uwk ward: that their taste In dress Is uu formed nud even bad; that they have not cood judgment In choosing nsso ciates, and so on. Frivate discourses unou tho wiles of the world and the weakness of youth and Its proneness to wander they wish none of. hutever medicine of that sort Is to be given must he administered in small doses. Interjected with skill Into conversations nnon ordinary matters, and sugar- coated, f Dossible. with artful compu ment, though It should be always de served. Even the best and dearest or our carefullv-broucht-un young people are likely to have their year or more of obstinacy and 'plg-headedness,' or their normanent streaks of unreasonableness and contumncy. Therefore, they would better receive most of the telling strokes that mold into shape before thev reach the age of fourteen. Irom that time up to the age of what Is called discretion.' which does not arrive with most of us before twenty-five (If then), tho youth, In Judgment and sense, is really not much superior to what ne was nt from seven to fifteen, but he has no suspicion of this fact." Business Olrls. I do not mean a girl who has gone Into some trade or profession, for tho most domestic "home bird" of my girl readers mny be one. Indeed, If she helps to carry out her dally duties sue 'cessfully she must do her utmost to become a "business girl" in my sense of the word. And when. In course of time, she passes to a home of her own, she will bo nt no loss in taking up her position as housekeeper and mistress She will win the respect of those In her employ by showing them that she un derstnnds how she should bo served, and that while comfort is absolutely required, no extravagance will be nl lowed. She will cause her husband's love for her to Increase by showing hlra how truly his Interest Is hers by bringing Into piny her knowledge of "how to spend and how to save." To make homo uncomfortablo by mean, unnecessary savings Is no real econ omy, but to plnn with loving thought how to make every dollar yield its true value Is housekeeping In Its best sense, for such a "business girl" will make a small Income go further and give more real happiness and comfort than would one of doublo and treble tho amount In Inexperienced hands. But to make my girl reader a complete business one of tho type which I write, she must also learn how to conduct her charities Giving Indiscriminately, without In qulry or thought, Is often more produc tlvo of evil thnn good, and she must bo as wise over the spending of tho por- tlon allotted "to help others," and givo as thorough consideration to It ns she does to what sho puts apart for her personal concerns. When a small boy wants a match with which to light a cigarette, he nvoflyns Ills renuest for one with tlin word "please." Ho then goes homo and says' "I'ass the uuuer." uestlouR than i IUUI KUU - , a wise, man can answer; nln t that so I can't answer you. -uui'u"a Journal. "Help! help!" cried the man who wai being robbed. "Calm yourseir, sum the hlghwnyninn, "1 don't need any as sistance." Exchange. i ....miui. siin'il look hotter iVIl Hit dnivio.... " ,( without bo much powder and rouge- on. "Yon. She sn't so hail as two ed." Philadelphia Bulletin. u irnnilinir newspaper) 'Ph.. nr.. 1R.000 Poles In Philadelphia. Gracious! What n place to raise beans! riillmlolphla Itec- ord. "How long hnve they been keeping house?" "Well. I tiiiiieiHtanu wiuy usually keep one until the landlord In sists on having the rent."-Phlladel-phla Bulletin. T....i,n.vt'ci niu-nvR In damp piuce ' I HI VI IV wot.."""-- ' ),,.. iKiiuiir-.innm i?rov. Isn't It, pupal Papa-Yes, my boy. Freddle-ls hat the reason they looK nice uuiureuua, papa? Tld-Hlts. iMivxl.-liin (clvliig advlcO-Lastly, mc- Gorrv, don't go to sleep on an empty stomach. McGorry uvho Is alIlng)-No danger av thot. doctlior; 01 alwayt slapu on me buck. Basar. An Exi)lunatlon.-"You referred to your friend as a dead game sports- man?" "Yes; he always buys ins uirua In the market. Dead game Is his spe cialty." Washington Star. Mugglns-My wife Insists upon hav ing the last word. Hugglns-You'ro limkv. Tn the bright lexicon of my wife's' vocabulary there Is no such word as last. Philadelphia Ileeoni. Tin. Mtaainnnrv Mr erring brother, have you been Christianized? The Na tiveNot completely. Tlioy nnve goo bled all my land, but I st 11 hnve my few clothes. Indianapolis Journal. "Don't be afraid. Willie! Tigers al ways roar when It's time for them to be fed." "Oh, I alu't afraid, grandpa. Puna makes a worse row thnn that when dinner's Into nt homo." Jugend. Lndv of the house (to applicant for a place) "Why did you leave your last place?" Servant "Once I was caught llstenlnc nt the door." Lady "Oh, what did you heur?" l-'llegendo Blat ter. "How did you mnnnge to escape hay fever this year, Clara V" "I didn't. Pnna managed It." "How?" "He said he couldn't raise the money to send me to tho mountains." rsow lorn World. Bride (throwing her arms about the bridegroom's neck) You are my pris oner for life. Bridegroom It's not liu- nrlsonment for life, love: It s capital punishment. Sydney Town and County Journal. Mrs. Wlltby "I am afraid baby Isn't well, dear." Wlltby-"What makes you think so?" Mrs. Wlltby "He hasn't had anything the mntter with him so long that I'm getting real wor-rled."-Puck. An evasive answer: Banker "Before I accept you as a suitor for my daugh ter, I should like to know how you stand politically. Now, I am for gold." Suitor "That's what I'm after, sir!" Town Topics. Tho Military Obsession: Superinten dentYes, and where did John the Bap tist live? Scholar In tho desert. Su perintendentQuito right! And what do we call people who live In tho desert? Scholar Deserters. Brooklyn Life. Tired Tootstrong "Madam, will you please help a poor, homeless man out of his troubles?" Madam (who wns raised In the backwoods) "Certainly? Would you rather be shot or hit on tho head with an ux?" Norrlstown Herald. Mrs. Bugg "If you keep on being so unreasonable I shall Just havo to go homo nnd live with mamma." Mr. Bugg "Stay, my denr, I ennuot be un reasonable enough to consign you to such a cruel fute." Philadelphia Bul letin. "Jones called up his first wife ot the eeanco last night, and what do you think ho said to her?" Bald Smith. "Goodness knows," replied Brown. "Ho asked her If she would give his second wlfo her recipe for mincemeat." Pick-Me-Up. Tho Parting: Sho Henry, dearest, I havo at last discovered that I love you! He Ah, you have heard, then, that my uncle has died and loft mo $5,000. She Sir, after that remark wo must part forever! I heard It wus Ufty. Judge. Deacon Black D!s ain't no pussonal queschun; but If a man steals a chick ing am it propah fo' him tor Bay grace befo' ho eats It? Deacon Johnson Shuuh! Ain't ho got two reasoim to funk do Lnwd-fo de chicken an fo' not gittln cotched? Puck. Nailed: Kunner-In-"Thnt kind of coat, sir, wo havo sold up to date for ttftecu dollars; wo are now offering them for five." Tho desired customer "And you've got tho gull to openly ad mit that you've been gouging people to that cxtentr-Lcslle's Weekly. SALT LAKE CITY. An Iniiiorinni i-noior in Trnnconl iirnlHl Triivttl. mm Nn nun rroxMn" the Contlhmif. - - n - wq afford to cut Halt Lake City from fflj route. The nuruouoiis 01 tn0 placgg including tho Mormon Temple, TnliSrS imole and Church iiiHtltutiouM, the Groat Suit Lake deader nnd dunjBg than tho Dead Sen In the Holy LamlHS tho picturesque environment and B9 warm sulphur ami nut upringH, irrimtur to tho williiro Vunl thnn unv n . - j ,,.IIh mi I in. A iii t.ri t'li 11 i-iiiitiniiiif The HIo uruniio vt omorii Hallway! connecting on tho East with tho l)Sg ver & HIo Urauno nnd l olorudo MS land Hallways and on tho WoHt wi tho Southern Pacific (Central Hoof mill DriiL'Oll Short Lino. Ih till, nr trniiRcnutinutiml lino paHHltiK illrcot through salt wiko v uy. nie rot through Salt Ijko City via tho ifl Cnmdo Western Hallway Ih famnii: tho year round. On account of t5 equablo ollmato of Utah and Colnrflj it la ItiHt uu popular in winter ns nummor. Send 'Jo to J D. MuiiHlloi 258 Washington St., Portland, or ! W. Hoiutz, Acting imneral rasseni Agent, Salt Luke I ity, for a enpy "Salt Lako City tho (. Uy oi Saints." Aro Von Unlit,; Hint? If no, you hIioiiU! acii tl! your ticket rends vm liroitt 1WI0K INIUIl-l nuif nnd you will gut tin. lioa Pullman jmliioe Hleeping ears, ch-j teuliiiinK chair cms "free, mi l lihtj bntTut curs on nil through trams 1)1 limine cur Hcrvico in the world I'od Inr tieiponally conducted exurnid onco a wcok to all points Hunt full particulars call on or a.Hrcm agE ticket agent, or A. Vj. tuiiri-.it, G. A. P. D.. O. H. 1. fc P. Ity . Washington Htroet, Portland, "r. Clliunt, Bcnimry nnl Nturr' tnrliun. Scenery, altitude, sunshlno un-l aj constitute tho fnctors which nn- nir ly making Colorado tho health rili-iiHtiro irrounds of tho worl-1. Hero tho un shines 1107 day i nvimu'n venr. nnd it Mends with r, . j crisp, electric mountain air to prdt a climate matchless in the Mioi world. No lien can tiortrav no t.ro run nicturo the majestic fran li-url tho scenery nlong the lino of the Denl & Hio (irniiilo Hailrosul in -lnu Parties going East shonl l trawl this lino which is known nil owr' world as tho Scenic Line of the worfill Tor any information renr lin.' ruwSJ time tables, etc., call on or a-l-'ni'aj C. Nlchol, general agent, 2-l WwB Ington Btreet, Portland, Or , or SB agent of tho O. H. & N. Co.. or boulu em Pacific Company. fl Los Angeles, Cal., 1b difitincuii'hgj for tho number of pretroliuin oil wSB it nosBCShcs. Tho outimt for lHOSfSB proxlmatod 1,100,000 barrels, and tKS for 18UU is estimated to be about fK sumo. 'H When hat Is wot with rain it ehoB hn dried with a silk handken hi brushed with a soft brush nnd whet is nearly dry with a harder brush. Live as though life were earnest i life will be bo. Mr. Bcerbohm, a London grain tr nuthority, is of tho opinion that Eur will this hoafou require 85 per cent tho American Hurplus supply of whe in which event tho rcservea at tho 6N of tho present crop year may ho oJS Binuller than they wero at tho begtej niug of tho harvest in 1808. An Excellent Combinath Tho pleasant method aim "c"' asa effects of tho well known emoayj omui- or L'lun, mi. Yii..."ST3 CAMF01INIA Fio SYKU1' Co.. I' "Mgjfl thn vulun of obtaining tho liquid iay tlvo principles oi pmnw -r- .-- --- , 1 ,,..,1 aw them in tho form most refreshing t JJ tasio anil accupmuiu w -v -- . m Is tho ono perfect sircnK"; tive, clcansW the system cITecti an dispelling colas, ncauncn -- gently ySt immSSl to overcome nauiuuu ."..- i tzss mnnently. Its perfect freedom "Sg every objectionable quui y stance, anu us uuwhk " .""" i.enn liver and bowels, without wfWHj or irritating them, maao ; In the process of m'2?1J,g! aro used as they arc pleoM nt to d i,t fi,n m..( o nal qualities oi Remedy aro obtained from senna other aromatic plants, by n mtj known to tho CAMFonNM, Via bij Co. only. In order to go effects ana to avom "",. coiftnl remember the full name of tho Compj printed on tho front oi ; at tcvm? MT A FIG SYKUr BANTOANOlflCOA LOUISVIIMI. KV. . . Ji cnr oerlA S3 I'or Bale by all Druggist.- -