8A | WEDNESDAY, APRIL 17, 2019 | COTTAGE GROVE SENTINEL
Boomer &
Senior News Line
By Matilda Charles
Help in Deciding
Where to Retire
Coping with an empty nest
Many people find it re-
warding to start a family
and raise children. Watching
kids grow through the years
and sharing in their expe-
riences can bring life to a
household.
Mothers spend 18 years
or more devoted to their
children, and often their
identities are defined as
“Mom” above all else. As a
result, it can be difficult to
think ahead to life without
kids in the home, especially
when children are toddlers
or school-aged. But children
will someday grow up and
move out, and the emotions
that resonate when that day
comes can be overwhelm-
ing.
Many parents feel a sense
of sadness and loss when
their last child leaves the
family home. Referred to
as “empty nest syndrome,”
these feelings are not offi-
cially labeled as a clinical
mental health issue, but they
are very real for many peo-
ple. While parents encour-
age their children to become
independent and branch
out in their own lives, not
every parent can cope with
an empty nest. The par-
enting and family resource
Verywell Family states that
mothers with empty nest
syndrome experience a deep
void in their lives that of-
tentimes makes them feel a
little lost.
Moms who are feeling
the pangs of sadness due to
an empty nest can employ
some strategies to alleviate
these feelings.
• Keep friends close. Use
this opportunity to spend
more time with close friends
and put yourself first. Sched-
ule all of those activities you
may have temporarily put
on hold while caring for
children through the years.
• Make time for travel.
New experiences can broad-
en anyone’s horizons. Travel
as a couple or with a group
of friends. Put the focus on
fun and then share the ex-
periences later on with your
adult children.
• Redefine yourself. The
experts at Psychology Today
suggest finding new roles
and interests to explore, or
spend more time exploring
existing hobbies. For exam-
ple, if you’ve thought about
COURTESY PHOTO
doing community theater,
do so now that you have
some free time. Or maybe
you’ve always had a goal of
going back to school? Now
may be the time to make that
happen.
• Reconnect with your
partner. Recall the years be-
fore you had children when
it was only the two of you
and devote time to making
more memories as a couple.
Plan date nights, go to sport-
ing events, attend a summer
concert, or pursue other
shared interests.
• Change things up at
home. Turn children’s rooms
into spaces you can use for
your own interests. One
can be a crafting room or a
home office. Another may
be a home theater. No lon-
ger labeling those rooms as
the kids’ spaces can help the
transition.
Empty nest syndrome
is real, but there are many
ways to move past the mixed
emotions synonymous with
this phenomenon.
If you plan to move when
you retire, where will you
go? What is important
to you, and how will you
decide? U.S. News & World
Report, working with Aetna,
has released a report about
the healthiest communities
in the country. While all
of the 81 characteristics
they compared aren’t about
health, they do affect quality
of life.
Their ranking calculated
the scores on 3,000 counties
across the country, broken
down into 10 categories:
population health, equi-
ty, education, economy,
housing, food and nutrition,
environment, public safety,
community vitality and
infrastructure.
To see the rankings, go
online to www.usnews.com/
news/healthiest-communi-
ties/rankings. Scroll down
the page and you’ll see the
list of the top 500 counties
and how they ranked in
each of the categories.
On the first page, however,
you can specify the county
name or ZIP code of an area
you’re interested in. After
TURNING 65 AND NEED HELP WITH
YOUR MEDICARE CHOICES?
How to prepare your family when an aging
loved one is moving in
No man or woman, re-
gardless of his or her age,
wants to consider that a day
may come when they need
to rely on loved ones to help
them perform everyday ac-
tivities. But every day tens
of millions of people serve
as unpaid caregivers for
their aging friends or family
members.
A 2015 survey from the
National Alliance for Care-
giving and AARP found that
approximately 34.2 million
people had provided unpaid
care to an adult age 50 or
older in the last 12 months.
Many unpaid caregivers are
pulling double duty, caring
for their aging parents while
also raising families of their
own.
While there’s no guarantee
that aging men and women
will require care, caregivers
figure to become more nec-
essary as life expectancies
increase. In fact, recent years
have seen the senior popula-
tion in the United States ex-
ceed 50 million for the first
time in the country’s history,
and figures from the U.S.
Census Bureau suggest that
figure will continue to rise
until 2029.
Men and women who are
preparing to welcome an
aging loved one into their
homes may wonder how
to make that transition go
smoothly, es-
pecially if they
have
young
children
at
home.
The
following are
some tips that
can help fam-
ilies
prepare
to welcome an
aging friend or
family mem-
ber into their
homes.
• Speak with
your
loved
one’s
physi-
cians.
Speak
with an aging
loved
one’s
physicians so
you can get a complete pic-
ture of their physical and
mental condition. This can
give you an accurate depic-
tion of how much care your
loved one needs now and
how much they might need
in the future if their condi-
tion worsens.
• Discuss forthcoming
changes as a family. Once
you gain a full understand-
ing of your loved one’s
physical and mental con-
dition and before this per-
son moves into your home,
discuss it with your family.
Adding a new member to
your household will affect
everyone, so each member of
the family, including young
you click, you’ll see the
rankings for your select-
ed area, with individual
category scores, as well as a
state and U.S. average. Scroll
down for the details of each
one. You’ll find everything
from the smoking rate to
voter participation, the pov-
erty rate, changes in housing
values, crime rates -- infor-
mation on all 81 metrics. Be
sure to click or mouseover
everything because there’s
more to it than appears.
At the very bottom of the
page you’ll find sliders for
each of the 10 categories
where you can shop for your
ideal retirement location.
Customize your preferences
by moving the sliders, and a
list of your best communi-
ties will appear on the right
of the screen.
Even if you’re not ready to
decide about a move right
now, this report will get
you thinking about what’s
important to you about
where you live. All in all,
this report is very well done
and comprehensive in the
amount of information it
provides.
Call Paul to
help simplify
the complicated.
541-517-7362
Paul Henrichs ~ Local Independent Agent
coverage4oregon@gmail.com
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children, should be includ-
ed when discussing how the
family dynamic will change.
Parents must recognize that
even young children may be
asked to make sacrifices to
accommodate aging loved
ones. Explain these sacrific-
es in advance and how im-
portant it is to make an ag-
ing loved one feel welcome
when they move in.
• Discuss conditions with
children. Children may rec-
ognize their grandparents
or elderly loved ones have
physical limitations, but
they likely won’t understand
conditions such as demen-
tia or Alzheimer’s disease.
Parents can ask a physician
about how to explain cog-
nitive decline to young chil-
dren. Children may not rec-
ognize cognitive decline as
readily as adults, so parents
may need to discuss these
conditions with their chil-
dren periodically and/or if
the conditions worsen.
Millions of people across
the globe welcome aging
loved ones into their homes
when they can no longer
care for themselves. Such
caregiving changes family
dynamics, and these changes
should be discussed before
and after a loved one moves
in.
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