COTTAGE GROVE SENTINEL SEPTEMBER 6, 2017
Time share kitty
“I run my tax accounting business
out of my home,” said Kent, “and cli-
ents were not the only ones who came
in the door!”
One year, a beautiful black and
white cat strolled in and made herself
welcome. Not knowing her real name
he called her Paperweight after she un-
ceremoniously plopped herself down
onto the papers he was working on.
Paperweight visited each morning, for
fi ve years, until a neighbor at the end of
his street moved out, and apparently so
did his co-worker kitty.
Almost immediately, another black
and white cat showed up. She was
younger, but just as purrs-istant. Once
again, Kent did not know the new ar-
rival’s name, so the newbie’s ‘offi ce’
name became Apprentice. It was ob-
vious that Paperweight had shared the
offi ce’s hours, about the snacks to be
had, and the comfy cat napping loca-
tions. So, when Apprentice applied for
the ‘job’, she was hired along with all
the fringe benefi ts.
Ms. Apprentice, as Kent did not
know if she was married or not, arrived
purr-omptly and paw-unctually as he
opens the doors at 5 a.m for her day
of steady cat napping and treats. She
takes her paw-sistion seriously and is
a great well groomed employee who
takes no holidays or days off. Just like
her purr-edecessor, she wanders in and
plops down precisely on the papers that
he is working on. In order to reclaim
his work area, he ‘bribes’ her with cat
treats, and eventually had to ‘present’
her with a designated employee cloth
cat bed.
“At fi rst Apprentice refused the
bed,” said Kent, “still purr-furr-ing the
papers or my chair. So as an accoun-
tant, I calculatingly put two and two
together and sat on her bed so it would
remind her of me. Then I built a spe-
cial back for the chair, so she and her
bed would not slide out.”
But one day, all was well, she was
sleeping, and suddenly, unceremoni-
ously she and the bed slid out from
under the back of the chair. Stunned,
sitting on the fl oor, she gave Kent “that
blackmailing “look” as a hint threat-
ening a quick return to snoozing on
tax papers! Before she could it report
him to F.U.G. (Feline Union Group) he
quickly remedied the situation.
Kent has a full-service offi ce, if
you are his nondeductible feline offi ce
staff. Ms. Apprentice arrives with an
Pet Cremation
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At Smith Lund Mills we believe that pets
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When a pet dies it can be very diffi cult
time for everybody involved. We
understand the feelings of losing a pet and
our professional, caring staff will be ready
to assist you during this time of loss.
(541) 942-0185
123 S. 7th St., Cottage Grove
Visit smithlundmills.com for more information.
appetite demanding a treat, a drink of
water, and attention before greeting
clients. In the summer, she changes
things up by sleeping just outside the
door, either in the shade or the sun.
After her shift ends, she continues her
day, wandering off checking out the
rest of her “trap line”.
“Having a visiting cat has all the
advantages and none of the disadvan-
tages of owning a cat,” admits Kent.
“She is a TIME SHARE cat who does
Day-cations at my home. When I go
on holidays, I know that she is fed and
groomed by her loving pet parents. I
don’t have to pay for a cat sitter, or
incur vet bills on her behalf. All she
costs me is a cat bed and treats.
I tried training Apprentice to answer
the phone, take messages, and shred
paper. She walks over the phone di-
aling wildly, stands on the answering
machine deleting messages, and even
the ‘tools’ (her claws) she brings into
the offi ce have not shredded one piece
of paper - just the side of my desk. Ap-
prentice plainly feels that manual work
is for others. She reminds me that dogs
have owners and are trainable, but cats
have servants and do their own thing as
they please - when they please.”
2. Demand clients’ attention.
3. Purr when given attention.
4. Protect the fl ower bed from
offending bugs.
5. Eat treats.
6. Command ‘subjects’ when to
let her in/out of the offi ce.
7. Loudly voice disapproval
from having disrupted the offi ce
and snack routine when Kent re-
turns from vacation.
TIPS
In case of a natural disaster have
assembled accessible cat and dog pet
carriers, for each pet, with harnesses
and leashes inside. Store food/water,
food/water bowls, and kitty litter and a
pan beside the carriers. During fl oods,
bungee cord small pet cages to fl oata-
tion devices (swimming kick board).
Purr-chase harnesses for your cats, so
they won’t run off. They can’t be caged
for days, they need exercise and you
can’t hold them forever.
Humane Society for Neuter/Spay
Assistance Program. (541) 942-2789
Tell us about your FUR-tastic pet.
angelscribe@msn.com
Archived Tips ‘n’ Tales:
www.AngelScribe.com
Well back to school for the 2017-2018 school year. CAL School District
started yesterday, Tuesday. Again, welcome to all staff and students. For
any further information, please call the offi ce, 541-935-2100 and talk to
Lee Ann. Check with the school or website for the sports schedules.
Lorane Grange will meet this Thursday, September 7 at 7 p.m. with pot-
luck snacksTheir next bingo evening will be a dessert and bingo evening
on Friday, September 15.
Dessert at 6 p.m. and bingo at 6:30 p.m.. Lots of fun for all. Welcome
back to fall!
OFFICE DUTIES
(According to Ms. Apprentice.)
1. Look cute.
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
BMD forgot some thank yous
Marijuana worries
Several weeks ago, The Sentinel published a half-page Post-Fes-
tival Thank You Ad. As with a list that long, there were a few we
unintentionally overlooked and want to publicly recognize them as
well.
Festival sponsors: Bohemia Sunrisers Club, George & Teri
Devine & Timberline Dental.
Grand Miners Parade: Wayne & Michael Northern donated the
use of their antique cars for our BMD Offi cials to ride in the pa-
rade. Local pilot Shawn Kelley provided an impressive fl yover in
his very fast experimental aircraft just before the parade began.
Recycling: For several years, we have not had the volunteer help
to collect recyclable waste during the festival. This year we are
grateful to the Coast Fork Willamette Watershed Council volunteers
and the Cottage Grove High School Volleyball Team for taking on
this important (but often yucky) job.
Planning is now underway for the 59th Annual Bohemia Mining
Days, July 19-22. We invite you to call the offi ce at 541-942-5064
or visit our website www.bohemiaminingdays.org to give us your
feedback on this year’s festival and to share your ideas for next
year.
How much pot is needed in Potlandia? There is plenty of pot
available, so if Creswell chooses to be pot free – why not?
Why does there need to be a pot ‘empire’? Isn’t there enough out
there to do plenty of damange?
And many questions still need answered.
Two different people, each living in a different area, have homes,
and wells, below pot operations. Both are seeing changes in their
wells.
Many pesticides and residues have been found in some of the
retail pot. If it is found in the retail product, it will obviously be
in the grow area. What happens to all the marijuana debris – is
it composted? Does composting destroy the pesticides? Rain and
irrigation runoff goes into the ground, and into ground water and
rivers and streams. What happens to the fi sh in the streams – are
they impacted by the marijuana? What about animals eating the
fi sh? What about humans who eat the fi sh that have lived in water
polluted by marijuana production runoff?
A study in 2013 for the Journal of Toxicology, examined how
much pesticide residue is transferred to a cannabis consumer
through inhalation. He found that pesticides are easily transformed
into a vapor and inhaled with marijuana smoke.
Poisons put out to kill vermin also kill other animals. The arti-
cle “Growing Marijuana is doing More Damage Than You Think’
by Abby Hutmacher, 2016, she includes this paragraph: “Many
growers use toxic pesticides to protect crops from curious critters.
Unfortunately, when small rodents die from ingesting pesticides,
their natural predators will also ingest the poison when they eat the
rodent. In other words, rat poisons do not just kill rats; they kill
other wildlife like bobcats, owls, foxes, coyotes, hawks, and even
our beloved pets.”
If a doctor prescribes aspirin, he does not send the patient to
the nearest willow tree to get some bark and make a tea. Nor does
he send the patient down the street to the willow dispensary. He
prescribes a known quality, such as a baby aspirin, or a regular aspi-
rin, a product that has some FDA oversight, so the doctor KNOWS
what the patient is getting.
The American Psychological Association featured an article by
Kristen Weir in November 2015 re; Marijuana and the Develop-
ing Brain. “There are a lot of open questions’ about the long-term
effects of marijuana, says Susan Weiss, PHD, director of the divi-
sion of extramural research at the National Institute on Drug Abuse
(NIDA). “But there’s a growing literature, and it’s all pointing in
the same direction. Starting young and using frequently may dis-
rupt brain development.”
So the question is: Are a few dollars in the coffers worth the
risks and the hazards?
Janetta Overholser
Cottage Grove
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Tax Accountant Kent with his nondeductible
offi ce staff, Apprentice, who must belong to
a secret cat Union. When she learned she
was not going to be paid for this photo, she
immediately began a wiggle-protest.
LORANE NEWS
Cindy Weeldreyer
BMD Festival Coordinator
Local & Metro Weekday Trips
Professional Caring Staff
Thanks to the Sentinel for last week’s spotlight on the homeless
crisis facing Oregon.
Grovers should know that for the last two years, a dedicated
group of Cottage Grove residents have been working to solve this
crisis the Grover way -- with ingenuity and hard work.
The goal is to create a Village of small, well constructed, perma-
nent homes that could house up to 30 of our neighbors in affordable
tiny houses, so that people do not fall into homelessness.
Based on the statistics cited in the Sentinel article, Cottage Vil-
lage could single-handily reduce homelessness by nearly 2% in
Lane County, and by nearly 25% in Cottage Grove based on recent
counts. It is only a start, but that’s how a problem gets solved.
If you want to keep up with the progress on this exciting project,
check out the webpage at www.squareonevillages.org/cvc.
Allan Katz, on behalf of the Cottage Village Coalition
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