COTTAGE GROVE SENTINEL January 6, 2016
7A
Cottage Theatre to
present 'Spelling Bee'
Burglar Bert is a hoot! He’s
a cat on the purr-owl!
C
aught! The third red-haired cat bur-
glar in three years!
This time the culprit is Burglar Bert, a
six-year-old Flame Point Siamese. His
neighbors are torn between giggles and
frustration for his feline-onious pranks. The
law is on the kleptomania-cat side because
neighbors are powerless to stop him from
stalking their yards to steal things and carry
them home.
His “wanted” photo shows him in the
paw-session of a various and sundry assort-
ment of gloves and socks he’s pinched. The
trespasser’s posters are proudly displayed
by fun-loving neighbors as a “warning” to
others. If there is a missing glove, sock,
children’s underwear, shoe, etc., a furry fast
fi ngered Bert has purr-obably misappropri-
ated them! This robber’s life of crime is on
the rise!
Some obsessive-compulsive behaviors
manifest from overwhelming grief after a
death. In accordance, right after Bert’s be-
loved brother, Barney, passed is when he
dragged the fi rst stolen goods through the
cat door.
Bert had put his heart into taking care of
Barney as he became sickly. He snuggled
with his frail buddy and was at a loss after
Barney’s passing.
“Bert’s crime wave began small,” con-
fessed Monique. “A few mismatched gar-
dening gloves here and there. We did not
want to be our klepto cat’s accomplices, so
we stabbed 20 four-foot bamboo stakes in
our front yard and topped them with all his
‘loot’. Historically most of the stolen items
are gloves; fi rst a yellow, then blue, then
the other matching gloves began appearing!
His illegal behavior escalates during the
summer, probably because of the increased
use of gardening gloves and clothes hanging
out to dry.
A lady who lives a block away came by
and timidly claimed her light-weight shoes.
She was bewildered why one shoe had dis-
appeared; then the second went missing
from her carport. In the meantime, we had
added the shoes to our ‘yard art’ stakes. The
woman learned of us while explaining the
bizarre mystery to a neighbor. Her neighbor
described our nefarious cat, and suggested
checking out our “lost and found” display.”
Like most dysfunctional crime families,
they not only support Bert’s kleptomania —
they fuel it with treats! Their M.O. is always
the same. After a heist when Bert drags the
contraband through his cat door, they add
to the criminal offence by praising him for
his hunting skills. He’s rewarded because
they live in a heavily populated bird area
(which includes a baby-face Barred Owl
with a 40 inch wing span). They appreci-
ate Bert’s penchant for inanimate objects
over wildlife. What he brings home never
ceases to surprise them. Recently, he purr-
loined (stole) a welder’s glove that weighs a
pound! Fortunately none of the purr-petra-
tor’s victims fi led police reports!
“Bert was not thrilled,” said Monique,
“when we introduced him to our fl uffy pup,
Nikki! But Bert being Bert took the baby
Sheltie in stride and taught her to play ‘cat
style’, leaving Nikki socially ‘dog’ handi-
capped.”
Initially, Nikki was suspicious of the sto-
len articles. She’d sniff the ‘hot’ item not
wanting any part of Bert’s clandestine acts,
but her family may be in trouble! Recently,
Nikki was found guilty of stealing socks
from their laundry basket and stashing them
in her bed! They hope she is not copy-cat-
ting Bert’s criminal activity! “If this keeps
up,” admits Monique, “we are going to have
to hire a defense attorney for our notorious
pets!”
Nikki is so gentle with Bert that the fam-
ily wants a drone to fl y above their pets “...
to witness their heart warming play antics.”
The drone could also double as a ‘spy’
vehicle to capture Bert purr-owling as he
‘stocks’ socks!”
Bert accompanies the family on Nikki’s
walks - walking with a “steal-thy” stride.
Monique worries that their red-headed thief
joins them to case out the neighborhood for
his next grab and dash. Their neighbors, al-
ways on the alert for the crafty cat, might
question if his family are his partners in
crime!
“Two years ago, a family with a four-
year-old son, visiting their grandparents,
saw Bert ‘fl ea’ing with Grandpa’s stolen
red glove,” said Monique. “They wondered
if he would return for the second glove, so
they had a camera in hand. Sure enough, 20
minutes later, they witnessed another rob-
bery in progress. The cat burglar returned to
the crime scene and dashed away, dragging
the matching glove.
Pet Cremation
Dignii ed Options for Our Faithful Friends
At Smith Lund Mills we believe that pets
are an important member of any family.
When a pet dies it can be very dii cult
time for everybody involved. We
understand the feelings of losing a pet and
our professional, caring staf will be ready
to assist you during this time of loss.
(541) 942-0185
123 S. 7th St., Cottage Grove
Visit smithlundmills.com for more information.
Board Position #3 Available
Photo by Mary Ellen “Angel Scribe”
Red-headed cat, caught red-handed!
Monique is ‘con’-fused if she should
be proudly boasting about her
clever cat burglar, Bert, or enrolling
the moonlighting delinquent into a
feline reform school!
The boy was thrilled! So brazen Burglar
Bert’s mug photo was proudly displayed on
their refrigerator. This year, the six-year-
old’s goal was to meet the famous celebra-
cat. I whistled, and Bert came running like
a dog. The thrilled child held the innocent
looking furry crook while everyone took
photos, and his eyes were alight with JOY
as if he was holding Sesame Street’s Big
Bird’s hand!
We are organic gardeners, so Bert, be-
ing one of the family, probably thinks he is
helping ‘recycle’ abandoned articles. We
are proud of our cats notoriety but hope that
none of us ends up in jail from Bert per-
forming a public service!”
Every time I walk by Bert’s house a dif-
ferent assortment of ‘stolen property’ is
displayed. On my last visit, I found, a
black-sports glove he’d proudly dropped
in their driveway. I added it to one of the
few remaining empty stakes for it’s owner
to claim.
TIPS
Bert’s smart neighbors color code their
gloves and write their phone numbers in
them! This way, they can easily ID the loot
decorating Bert’s bamboo poles and inform
others when their gloves are staked-out!
Share your pet tips and tales.
angelscribe@msn.com
Meet the DJ/Program Host
LLOYD WILLIAMS
I was born in Eugene and grew up in
Cottage Grove, graduating from CGHS
in 1968 -- go Lions! I studied radio at
Lane Community College in the 1970s,
graduating with a degree in both radio
broadcasting and television design. I
subsequently moved my studies to the
University of Oregon, graduating with a
B.S. in Communications. I worked my way
through school, i rst in the plywood plant
at the Cottage Grove Weyerhaeuser mill,
and later while working in radio. I took
classes as I could af ord them. It was a slow
process. I graduated from the UO at the ripe old age of 39. While working at the mill,
I had the good fortune to meet Don Work who had a popular Saturday Oldies request
show on KNND. He asked me to help him pull records for his show. h at experience
hooked me on radio and I changed my LCC major from Business to Radio Broadcasting
and began interning at KNND in late-1971. In six months, I joined the KNND team as a
full-time employee working 36 hours a week on the air and other assignments (that’s code
for cleaning the bathroom and hauling out trash!). I eventually worked in all capacities:
air talent, production, music director, program director. By 1973, I was also working
at KEED in Eugene on the weekends. I don’t recall having a day of from radio for a
couple of years. I let KNND in 1976 and worked my way into a full-time position at Keed
where I had a terrii c run on the air and as music director. While I was still at KNND, I
assisted Keed in developing a new record library when they changed their music format
from Top-40 to County. In return, KNND received all their old Top-40 record library!
Old-timers will remember”K-double-E-D”! What a great radio station. Much of what I
learned at Keed helped me as the KNND music director, program director, and mid-day
air talent. And I was ecstatic to be able to add all the Keed oldies from the 1950s and ‘60s
to our increasingly popular music rotation! It is that music that I play exclusively today:
the music of the ‘50s and ‘60s, “the greatest musical era”, right here on KNND on Mondays
from 11:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. I hope you’ll join me.
Tickets to the Cottage The-
atre’s fi rst production of 2016,
“The 25th Annual Putnam
County Spelling Bee,” went on
sale Jan. 1.
The play, described as a “hi-
larious romp through middle
school,” is adapted from a book
by Rachel Scheinkin and fea-
tures music and lyrics by Wil-
liam Finn. Its Cottage Grove
production will be directed by
Mark VanBeever, and the play
will run Jan. 29-31, Feb. 4-7 and
Feb. 11-14.
Billed as “a riotous ride com-
plete with audience participa-
PEPPER
Pepper, a terrier Lhasa Apso
mix lived 2 years in an abusive
household till she was rescued
by Steve. She lived a lively
8 years with her human BFF
Steve and other BFF Jitters,
who has passed November 8 th
of this year.
Before Pepper’s untimely
death she did her very best to
incorporate her life into the
social fabric of Cottage Grove.
She was the offi cial shop dog for The Bookmine and the boss. She
greeted every customer with a bark and wagging tail. She also worked
nights at the Brewstation as bouncer and music critic.
Tragically, Pepper was hit by a car at 2pm on December 31 st at the in-
tersection of 6 th and Main St. The driver was not licensed, not insured
and not documented. Steve and Pepper were crossing Main St. on a
green light when the driver made a left turn into them. Steve jumped
back pulling Pepper’s leash. The speed of the vehicle made saving Pep-
per impossible as she was crushed.
Many folks came out to help the police were kind enough to drive of
them to Forest Valley Veterinary offi ce. Pepper died two minutes later.
There are words to be said about the cause of sweet Peppers demise.
The stunning shock and blinding anger Steve is experiencing no man
deserves. Next time you get into your convenient metal boxes real-
ize that they are capable of killing anything in its path. PLEASE PAY
ATTENTION, BE MINDFUL, AND SLOW DOWN. NO EXCUSES.
To my beloved Pepper, December 31,2015
I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spread her sails to
the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of
beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs
like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle
with each other.
Then someone at my side says, “There, she is gone.”
“Gone where?”
Gone from my sight. That is all she is just as large in mast and hull and
spur as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear her
load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when
someone at my side says, “There, she is gone” there are other eyes
watching her coming and the other voices ready to take up the glad
shout: “Here she comes!”
And that is dying.
Cottage Grove American Legion Post #32
Ral e to support the
Cottage Grove Scholarship Program
WIN THIS CAR:
2002 CHRYSLER PT CRUISER
LIMITED SPORT WAGON 4D
Automobile is generously provided by Brad’s Cottage Grove Chevrolet
$2.00 EACH OR 6 FOR $10.00
(only 4,800 tickets to be sold)
Purchase Tickets at
Brad’s Cottage Grove Chevrolet,
Best Little Print House,
Cottage Grove Sentinel or
call Scott at 541-337-9486
321 Main Street
Cottage Grove, OR 97424
Lobby Phone: 541.942.2468
Studio Line: 541.942.5548
Online requests: request@knnd.com
South Lane County Fire & Rescue services a 132 square mile
area for fi re/rescue/EMS services based on voter approved taxing
rates, levies and bonds equaling $1.80/$1000 beginning with fi scal
year 2016-2017. The current voter approved permanent and levied
rate is $1.50/$1000 of assessed property value including a house
and fi ve acres within the District’s boundaries. The District further
provides advanced life support ambulance service to an area totaling
850 square miles. The area outside the District’s 132 square mile area
does not provide tax revenue. The District operates from four fi re
stations and staffs the Cottage Grove and Creswell stations 24/7 with
a combination of career/resident and community volunteer personnel.
The Saginaw station is staffed 24/7 with off duty residents and the
Camas Swale station with community volunteers. The District is
managed by the Fire Chief who reports directly to the fi ve member
Board of Directors. All other District personnel report to the Fire
Chief utilizing a chain of command.
South Lane County Fire and Rescue has a current Board Position
(#3) vacant due to a member resignation. An appointment would place
somebody in this position who would fi nish out the remaining 2 years
of the term. The district is seeking an individual who has the desire to
contribute to ongoing efforts aimed at enhancing and improving fi re
services in the South Lane County community. Interested applicants
must be at least 18 years of age, be an elector, or a property owner
within the district. Interested candidates should submit a letter of
interest including a brief description of their background, and why
they believe they should be appointed to fi ll the vacant seat. Letters
of interest must be submitted to the district offi ce at 233 E. Harrison
Ave Cottage Grove, OR 97424 by 5:00pm Friday January 8, 2016.
All candidates for SLCFR Board Position #3 should attend the
South Lane County Fire and Rescue Board Meeting to be held at our
Cottage Grove Station located at, 233 E. Harrison Ave Cottage Grove
OR 97424 on January 21, 2016 at 6:00pm.
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Sp
tion,” ‘The 25th Annual Putnam
County Spelling Bee’ won the
2005 Tony and Drama Desk
Awards for Best Book. In the
play, an eclectic group of six
awkward adolescents vie for
the spelling championship of
a lifetime. While candidly dis-
closing hilarious and touching
stories from their home lives,
the tweens (portrayed by adult
actors) spell their way through
a series of words hoping never
to hear the soul-crushing, pout-
inducing "ding" of the bell that
signals a spelling mistake.
Th e drawing will be held on 1/12/2016
at the American Legion Post
826 W. Main, Cottage Grove, OR
Douglas G. Maddess, DMD
FAMILY AND GENERAL DENTISTRY
Brightening Lives One Smile at a Time
PRACTICING THE ART OF TRANSMISSION REPAIR SINCE 1991
Manual & Automatic Transmission Repair
Tune ups
30-60-90K Services
Brakes, belts, hoses and cooling system
services
Muffl ers & Custom Exhaust
Drive-train repair such as clutches, u joints
and differentials
All makes and models.
MAINTAINING YOUR VEHICLE AFFORDABLY
WE LIVE IN THE SAME TOWN WE WORK IN
“ NO MONKEY BUSINESS!”
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DUSTIN TULLAR & RUSS OWENS
541-942-8022 • COTTAGE GROVE
See our new website:
douglasgmaddessdmd.com