COTTAGE GROVE SENTINEL June 17, 2015
SAGINAW VINEYARD
Want to be a better father? Get a bigger grill
BY NED HICKSON
News Media Corporation
LIVE MUSIC EVERY FRIDAY
NO COVER CHARGE 6-9pm
Fri, June 19 .........Perfect Flavor – 60s thru 90s covers
Fri, June 26 ...................... The Fret Boys – classic rock
Fri, July 3 ........................................Riffl e – classic rock
Fri, July 10 ........................ Heavy Chevy – classic rock
Open daily 11 am for
complimentary tasting.
942-1364 • www.saginawvineyard.com
GREEN TAG SALE
In the Country
10 miles South of Cottage Grove
Porcelain cook stove, pedestal sink,
couches, hall tree, dressers, lamp,
mirrors, occasional chairs & tables,
primitives, queen bed w/mattress set,
rugs,books,(old and new) canning jars,
bedding, linens, women’s clothing,
(Chicos, Coldwater Creek, LL Bean)
sizes large-3x, home improvements,
garden kitsch, patio table w/6 chairs,
push lawnmower, treadmill, tools.
9 - 4 FRIDAY & SATURDAY
72614 LONDON RD
6th street turns into London Rd.
LOOK FOR GREEN SIGNS
11A
S
unday morning I will
awaken to sizzle of bacon
and eggs, the aroma of freshly
brewed coffee and the shuffl e of
approaching feet as I lay in bed
quietly thinking to myself: My
God, my wife is leaving me.
Then I’ll remember: Wait
— It’s Father’s Day! It’s a day
when we fathers are revered for
our wisdom, patience and, in a
few rare instances, our neck-
wear. For one whole day I’ll be
the perfect father since my wife
will be handling everything for
me. She does this to help me
relax and enjoy my special day.
The problem is, it’s hard to relax
when, by handling everything
herself, my wife makes it clear
I could be replaced by a dish-
washer and a few extra power
cords.
Okay, that’s not entirely true.
I can still claim “The Grill-
ing of Food” as my main con-
tribution to the daily operation
of our family. I have managed
to keep this duty the way most
men do, by making the task of
grilling appear as complicated
and miserable as possible, even
if it means faking a heat stroke
while grilling pre-cooked hot
dogs.
I realize there are many new
fathers who have made them-
selves indispensable during the
diaper-changing phase. Just
remember: your indispensabil-
ity in this area — much like
this morning’s tightly-wrapped
dooty — will eventually dis-
appear into the Diaper Genie.
That’s when grilling even the
simplest things, such as a brat-
wurst, should be made to look
as diffi cult as possible.
To do this, you’ll need a large
grill. The bigger the better. In
fact, if a hibachi is your main
grilling source, go now, hop into
your vehicle, and accidentally
back over your hibachi several
times and replace it with some-
thing more practical.
And, practically speaking,
we’re talking a grill roughly the
size of a Humvee.
Why?
You need a large cooking sur-
face so that you can convincing-
ly spray down fl ames and battle
for control over a raging infer-
no that, if not for your grilling
skill, would quickly consume
everyone’s bratwurst — and
quite possibly the world. Un-
less you are highly experienced
in pyrotechnics, or live near an
open gas line, trying to produce
this same effect on a hibachi is
very diffi cult.
Once you have your giant grill,
you’ll need to keep a spray bot-
tle handy. Your wife will assume
it’s to prevent charring. This is
partially true. But mostly you’ll
be using it to spray on your face
and body to appear as though
you are perspiring when, in fact,
you are frequently supplement-
ing any loss of body fl uid with
liberal amounts of ice-cold beer
hidden behind the grill.
Lastly, you should purchase
a special, custom-made spatula
that is so enormous and so heavy
it can only be wielded with two
hands. This will make the grill-
ing process appear even more
diffi cult by requiring a “spotter”
every time you fl ip someone’s
burger.
Put all of this together —
spray bottle, giant grill, two-
handed spatula — and you’ll
have the dramatic image you
want, which is that of a sweat-
stained father staggering in and
out of the fl ames of his grill, both
hands gripped tightly around the
handle of his 50-pound spatula
as he devoutly retrieves the eve-
ning meal.
Sure, this may sound like a lot
of effort; you could fold clothes
instead.
But the effort is worth it when
it comes to family.
Besides, it’s really hard to
keep beer cold when it’s hidden
in the laundry.
and through the Veterans Ad-
ministration, he eventually
found help. Still, triggers that
can come from unusual places,
such as fl ies, which remind him
of the war zone he left so long
ago, can sometimes resurface.
Here on the Misfi t Toy Ranch,
one can fi nd many such stories
of trauma, pain and healing,
and many of the animals here
— including Willow, whose
owner, Heather Hiser, donated
her to the ranch for riding les-
sons — have their own battles
to overcome.
Naomi Driscoll and her hus-
band, Zach, have been in the
Cottage Grove area for about
10 years and have operated the
ranch for fi ve of them. Naomi
Driscoll has given riding lessons
since age 16. She comes from a
family of veterans, and her hus-
band deployed to Afghanistan
in 2010 with the Army National
Guard’s HHC 2-162, which was
formerly headquartered in the
Cottage Grove Armory before
moving to Springfi eld.
“I’ve always been patriotic
and a fan of veterans,” Naomi
Driscoll said. “Lately I’ve felt
like there aren’t a lot of thank-
you’s being said, and we wanted
to offer one here on the ranch.”
The Driscolls also have their
own experience with PTSD,
stemming from an incident in
which Zach Driscoll was struck
by an armored vehicle in Af-
ghanistan.
“My husband has PTSD, and
when I saw how much his horse
has brought him joy, I knew
that was something I wanted to
share,” she said.
And so Misfi t Toy Ranch,
where many of the animals
themselves have been brought
forth from lives of trauma, re-
cently began offering free riding
lessons to combat veterans and
their families.
“We want to offer lessons to
anybody who served,” Naomi
Driscoll said. “They’ve done so
much for us, and we’re trying to
do something for them.”
While some veterans, includ-
ing Michael Hibbetts, choose
not to mount up, Driscoll said
the joy of watching their fam-
ily members ride also brings its
own kind of healing.
“The chaos and violence of
war changes someone,” she
said. “And there’s no doubt that
horses seem to understand any
physical or mental handicap.
They help heal and bring a lot of
joy. We’re not calling ourselves
a therapy center. We just want to
help bring a smile.”
The Misfi t Toy Ranch offers
riding lessons to everyone and
free lessons for combat veterans
and the families of the fallen,
as long as a veteran’s DD2-14
or military ID is provided. The
ranch can be reached by phone
at 541-623-0364.
now parents, are bringing in
their children and they recall
tales on Barney or another of
the succession of Mum’s dogs.
So, I thought, time for another
mascot. One of mother’s dogs
always sat on a stool and it is
intriguing that Tippy likes to do
it too. We are ordering Tippy a
t-shirt with our whale logo that
is painted on our store for his of-
fi ce uniform.
TIPS
Tippy is the funniest little dog.
When she is happy, her ears fl ip
up and her tail twirls like a pro-
peller. Pets adds warmth, love
and humor to our homes and
places of employment.”
Follow Pet Tips and Tales on
Facebook.
https://www.facebook.com/
PetTipsandTales
Ned is a syndicated columnist
with News Media Corporation.
His book, “Humor at the Speed
of Life,” is available online at
Port Hole Publications, Ama-
zon Books and Barnes & Noble.
Write to him at nedhickson@
icloud.com
R ANCH
Continued from page 1A
years ago and have been mar-
ried for fi ve. In this small Or-
egon community, Hibbetts said
they’ve found a respite from the
big city, its distractions and ter-
rors.
“We
wanted
something
smaller because of the PTSD,”
he said. “I knew I needed to get
away from a crowded city, and
we just fell in love with Cottage
Grove.”
Hibbetts served with the U.S.
Army’s 977th MP Company,
and in 1993, a roadside bomb in
Somalia — which he says was
the fi rst such attack on Ameri-
cans — took the lives of two of
his friends, friends the younger
Hibbetts was named after.
At fi rst, Hibbetts said he
didn’t realize he was deal-
ing with Post Traumatic Stress
Disorder following the attack.
Eventually, though, the anger
and depression convinced him
that something was truly wrong,
T&T
Continued from page 7A
her attention on the other.
When Grandma fi rst adopted
Tippy the dog showed an interest
in teething on our store’s comfy-
handmade rabbit and sheep skin
moccasins. Tippy purr-furred
the slipper’s fl uffy rabbit fur.
We quickly had to train her not
to chew the slippers. But sadly
my grandmother’s moccasins, at
home, did not survive!”
“Actually it was Lynnea who
wanted a dog,” laughs Nancy,
“but she can not have one, so
she encouraged me to adopt
one. I remember my mother,
who turns 100 years old this
year, always had a little “guard”
dog mascot at the store. Cus-
tomers who have been coming
here since their youth, who are
How to pet a cat correctly:
https://www.youtube.com/
watch?v=Si-yk1KxYX0&x-
yt-ts=1422327029&x-yt-
cl=84838260
Tell us how much you love
your pet.
angelscribe@msn.com
Adopt Loving Pets
www.PetFinder.com
The Flower Basket
and Gift Boutique
Come in and help us celebrate
31 Years in Business!
)ULGD\ -XQH WK 6DWXUGD\ -XQH WK
DP SP
2)) $// ,16725(
5HJXODU 3ULFHG *LIW 0HUFKDQGLVH
Door Prizes & Refreshments
Enter to win a $100 in Store
Gift Certificate
6RXWK WK 6WUHHW
