\ V \ TKr*FALiJt C it y N m , J a m Merry Moments A> We Journey Through Life Let Us Laugh by the Way I ♦^♦♦eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeoe Nat Any Mara, Th »v were gazing out of the win dow oi the Pullman car. The thin man waa rapturously admiring the •unset. “ Ah, nature is a real artist,” ex­ claimed the thin man, addressing the fat man who sat in the opposite seat. “ Have you never gazed at her wonders ? Have you never watched the lambent flame of dawn life leap­ ing across the dome of the world? Have y o u never watched the red stained islets floating in lakes of Are? Have you never been drawn bv the ragged, raven’s wing, sky phantoms as they blotted out the pale moon? Have you never felt the amazement of these things?” "N o t since I swore off,” replied the fat man as he prepared to nunt another seat— Cincinnati Enquirer. • tin • « . • uitabls For Umpirea. "Ball players are going into vaudeville right along.” ‘T h e y are.” " I ’m an umpire. I wonder if I couldn’t break in?” “ Why not? You’d be just the man to open the bill while the orchestra is tuning up and the audience is banging the seats. I t ’s a thankless job.” — WashingtonlHer- ald. -------------------- \ Consolation In Defeat. "Is it true that both your hus­ band and the man who liwes next door to you have failed in busi­ ness ?” "Y es, but Ned’s failure isn’t nearly so bad as Mr. Naybor’s. He failed for 50 cents on the dollar, while my husband failed fo r only 10 cents on the dollar.” '— Boston Transcript. Oettinf Her Money's Worth. Mrs Gimp— Don’t ydu find Dr. Soakum’s charges rather steep? Mrs. Simp— Yee, I dqi; but, then, he always gives such dfignified and impressive names to tl$e most ordi­ nary ailments that itf is really a pleasure to be ill and/go to him for treatment.— Springfiwd Union. The Creditor— I trust that you will honor me with a check today. The Delinquent — Sure thing! But who’ ll honor the check ?— Chi­ cago Daily News. A Calculating Parsen. " I know a man who never takes • etep without consideration of the n-pight attached to it.” "H e must be a remarkably thoughtful man. Who is he?” " A convict with a ball and chain.” — Baltimore American. Waiting For ths «pur. Maud— So he’s been ca llin g o n you regularly for ten years. Why do you suppose he hasn’t proposed 5 Beatrix— Oh, you see, he’« the aort o f man who alwaye doe« thing« on the spur of the moment — Judge. Ite U s u a l Effect. Newed — Don’t you believe that marriage broaden* a man? Oldwed — Well, T don’t know about that; but it usually maker him shorter.— Philadelphia Ledger. 8. 19 i 4 FALLS C I TY , OREGON DIDN’T NEED WINDOWS. Offers exceptionally tine opportunities for the establishment T h e re W a t P le n ty o f A i r In lh a M a il - • a n H a u l B a d ro o m . -------------------------------------- OK ----------------------------------- Co-O perative Cannery Co-O perative Creamery W ood-working Factories Fruit and Berry Orchards Manufacturers and Homeeeekera who want to know the facta con­ cerning Falla City and its poaaibilitea for future development are requested to read the information given in these two columns. For further and more particular information, address The News. N am e Th« The city derive* its name from the tail* of the Little Luckia- mute River, which flows through the city from the West. The first sale of town lota occurred in 1889, though donation land-claim settlers cim e here many years before that date. In 1900 the population waa 269; in 1910, 969. 1913, about 1,200. T h e L o c a tio n Falls City is situated near the geographical center of Polk Co., Oregon, in township 8 couth, range tt west o f the W illamette mer­ idian, 27 rail miles aoulhweat o f Salem, and 73 rail miles south- weat of Portland, in the narrow western end o f the L ittle Lucki- amuto River valley, surrounded on the north, south, and west by the foothills of the Coast Range mountains. Elevation, 886 38 ft above sea level. Transportation— Salem, Falla C ity A Western Railroad, which extends from Salem to Black Rock, a rail distance of 3U miles A new bridge across the Willamette River completed Mar. 15, 1913, give* this eilrd ire ct connection with the 8. P. mam line and O. E. roads at Salem, north and south. Falls C ity is incorporated as a city, contains about 800 acres, valuation o f property $800,000. The city administration is com­ posed of mayor, seven counciimen, auditor and police judge, mar­ shal, treasurer, engineer, health officer. Salaries: Marshal and water superintendent. $60; auditor, $25.V W a te r an d W o o d He— I have had some very trying experiences in my time. I was •truck senseless once. She— And when do you expect to recover ?— Philadelphia Press. a h y The eitv of Falls C ity owns the gravity water system. It* first cost was $26,000 Pure mountain water ia piped from springs on Judge T eal’s ranch, 8 miles away, at an elevaticu of about 300 feet above city level. Oak and fir firewood is plentiful and cheap. L u m b e r an d F ru it Electric-power planiDg and saw m ill, log pond, dry kiln and lumber yard in the city, lumber flume, logging roads and logging outfits, all owned aud operated by the Falls C ity Lumber Co. The surrouiiding bench and hill lands are as well adapted to the production of fruits and berries as any other section of the Pacific Northwest, and development ou these lines is going on. Potato growing is also becoming quite an extensive iiidustry. S c h o o ls , C h u rc h e s , S o c ie tie s , C lu b s The Falls City school has a 12-grade school with a full 4 -year high school course, with principal, assistant principal and seven grade teachers. I h e Religious organizations are: Adventist, Cal holic, Christian, Free Methodist, Methodist Episcopal, Get man Lutheran. The Fraternal societies: Iud. Order of Oddfellows, Rebekahs, Masons, Knights of Pythias, PythianSisters, Modern Woodmen of America, Royal Neighbors o f America, Woodmen of the W orld, Women of Woodcraft. Free reading room. Gem theatre, photoplay. Hydro-electric light generated by the power of the falls; owned by W. E. Newsom; H . C. Brown, manager. Telephone system, with l.-d. connections. C. J. Pugh, local manager. Greater Falls City Commercial Club, G. C. Mahr President. B u s in e a e E n te rp ris e s Falls C ’ty is well provided with the usual business enterprises. The News contains the announcements of the following business and profesional men of the city : Bakery, D. Toller, Bank of Falls City, W. F. Nichols cashier. Barber shops, Wm. Bohle. Carpenter And Builder, S. Oudermrk. Clothier, Tailor and gents’ furnisher, Chas. Harlung. Drug store, M. L. Thompson. Dentist, Dr. A. G. Atwood. Department store, N. Selig. Funeral director, R. L. Chapman. Furniture, J. C. Talbott & Co. General stores, N. Selig, F. C. Lumber Co., F. C. Merc. Co. Hardware store, J. C. Talbott A Co. H otel: Falls City Hotel, American plan, J. B. Tawney. Jewelry store, W. A. Persey. Land company, Falla City Orchards Co. Lawyer: J. H. Flower. Laundry, N. W. Crandell. Newspaper, the Fall* City New«, C. W. Lee. Painting, paper hanging and decorating, Dunckel A Johnson. Photoplay theatre, the Gem, C. J. Pngh. Physicians, Dr. W . B. Officer; Dr F. M. Hellwarth. Prese!ng and cleaning parlor, I. A. Johnson. Railroads, Salem, Falls City A Western, Southern Pacific. Real estate agent, C. W. Lee. Saloons: The Oregon, C. W. Matthews; The Idaho. Chas. Mix. A tourist who was tramping over Mexico last year was “ put un,r for a night at a Isay, rickety little shack that was called a hotel. It wns in the country, in tha northern part of Nuevo Leon atato. “ A* the hotel,” the tourist said, “ the old stage joke about stopping on the outside was no joke at all. Very much travel worn, 1 arrived lato in the afternoon. There wore only two rooms in the ‘ poeada,’ meaning in Mexico— ‘the hotel*— a largo room, which served as lob­ by, office and dining room, and a much smaller aide room, which waa kitchen and everything else con­ nected with the hostelry. “ I did not find out until after I had paid, a little matter that was demanded in advance with such a flourish of courtesy that 1 could not hesitate. I spent aeveral perturbed momenta, off and on, wondering where I waa to sleep. However, there were three other ‘guests,’ Mexicans, who did not appear to be worrying, so I tried to be pa­ tient. “ Supper, an affair of lota of pep­ per and little food, was ‘served’ by the proprietor’s wife. Shortly after nightfall the proprietor, with much bowing and gesturing and ‘Senor Americano’-ing, signified to me that he would take pleasure in assigning me to my room. I followed him— out of the hotel and into a small corn patch behind the building. “ In a corn row, at a spot where the overlapping top blades were thick enough to form a canopy that was at least dewproof, my landlord halted and pointed to an old blan­ ket which had been spread in the hollow between the rowa, and, bow­ ing and senoring some more, de­ parted. “ That was my room. There waa an old frayed mat for a pillow, with a dilapidated blanket for a cover­ ing “ Did I call up the office aod kick on the room? I did not. The earth was dry and warm, and having been recentfy hoed waa not hard, and be­ ing dead tired I turned in at once and had a dandy sleep.” — New York Times. Paint and a Lunatio. “ Among my patients today,” said an English mind doctor, “ ia one man whose skill with the brush would almost surely qualify him for high rank if he were only in posses­ sion of his senses. There are few of the great exhibitions which do not contain one or more of his can­ vases, and he has often received as much as $500 for a picture. And yet this man ia as ‘ mad as a hatter,’ the victim of terrible delusions and subject to violent homicidal attacks. Naturally hia work is unreliable. One week he will produce a master­ ly and beautiful picture, with gen­ ius iD every line of it. The next he will paint the moat weird picture, a perfect nightmare in color, which, curiously enough, he always con­ sidéra a masterpiece.” The Rev. Irl R. Hicks 1914 Almanac The Rev. Irl R. Hicks 1914 A l­ manac ia now ready and will be mailed prepaid for only 3.5c. Pro- feaior Hicks’ fine Magazine, Word and Works, for one year, and a copy of this Almanac for only one dollar. The plain lessons on astion- oniy, and the correct forecasts qf storms, drouths, blizzards and tor­ nadoes, make these publications a necessity in every home in America. Send to Wor I and Works Pub­ lishing Company, 3401 Franklin Avenue, St. Louis, Mo. Word and Works and the Falla City News, one year, and the A l­ manac, for $1.50. 800-sheet pencil tablet 6x8, for 10 cents, at The News office. IR c a lÉ ô t a t c H flc n c g profcjelonM (Tart* I’ll YilClAM W . B . O ffic e r, M . D . ■led Owing to the numerous requests coming to The Newa in regard to rralealale ttansjfliona, renting and other business matters, from non­ residents, we have decided to en­ gage in the resistitale business to a limited extent. List your pro|ierly with The News and get results. Pest Office Time Olilo* n » i T t io a p M u 'i rtrug *tnr*. Mu | •a*i pbuM ,f| rh.m» HUhlCuU «41 PHYSICIAN F. M. HELLWARTH % PHYSICIAN AND BUftOJCON Office in Toller Bldg. FALLS CITY, ORBOON ATTORNEY Card Office hours: Daily, except Sun­ day, 8 a.in. to 6.30 p in. Mail arrives, from Saleui-Dallaa, 8.86 a.in., 3:46 pm . Black Rock, 1 60 p.m. Mail close*, fur Baleni, 9.00 a m. and 1.00 p.m. Dallas, 9.00 a in. and 5.00 p.m. Black Rock, 1 1 0 0 am . Office hours: Sunday only, 9:30 to 1040 a.in: Mail arrives from Salem 8.86a.m. Mail closes lor Salem 9:00 a.in. Effective Dec. 1, 1913. I ha C. M k h h u . no , Postmaster. Falls C ity, Polk G o . Or. J. H. F L O W E R b P Attumey-at-Lm» O lfi«e aa Mela » « . . . « FaHe CAy. IIKNTIST Dr. A.G. Atwood D E N T IS T PRsaa ISSI f i l i a CNy Or. FUNERAL DIRECTOR R. L CHAPMAN Funeral D ire tti The Weekly Oregonian from now until January 1, 1915, for 75c at this office. (Jive your order early and get the greater U*neflt. Fur Rent, the Lombard place, 1.70 acres, close in; good place for market or home garden. Call on The N uwm f o r particulars. We titead la ell werk p u a » « * . Delle, ead Fett. CMr. Or »uetnew Cart* _____________ HOTEL fa lle flífielsotel «am pia Baa aia Beet Aaaatwist J. B. Tewnep, FMNWW« Send The News to Your Friends Extra copies of The Newa are printed each week, and will lie sent lo any address desired, postpaid, for 5 cents per copy. This offer is made with the hope that our citizens will send these ex­ tra copies to people u ho may he, or who may become interested in Falls City. Now that the rapid and petma- nent development of tliie section is assured, it becomes the duty o f all our citizens to take new courage and boost for a greater and better Falls City. Pencil tablets, 6x8 inches, 800 sheets, for 10 cents. Every home should have one. Wanted, Ihe News Citizens who wish to help The News give the news of the town c o i l render a g o o d service b y sending or phoning any in. »rinatioii they may have o f local doings, especially of matters that are not likely to come under the personal observation of the editor. oven as liARHKR snore Bohle’s Barber Shops Falls Cltp, O ra«ea Wkm yee its |«t • Mute, loir Cet, M b •r Iklat- H l '11.1*1 NO C O N TR A C TO R Saul Oud«rkirk Building Centrantes. Made. Phone 1M Reaalre ralle City, Ore. CONTRACTORS ANI» R t'lLP l done Have your house repairing in the W inter, snd ss ve man*?. Wo do «II kinds o f building sad repairing. W ill be glad to f i v e estimates. Phone 1411 Falle Ci Iff ELLE A ELLE, Contractors snd Builders TRAMINO R. A. T IT U S Graying, Wood and Lumber Hauling. Proprietor of Hearse Phono 134. F alls C i t y , O r *. MONUMENTI v ia o s ' IX P E R IC N C C G . L. H A W K I N S P atents M ARBLE A N D G R ANITE m o n u m e n t s Dallas, Oreien TR A C K M A S A I D is io n s Ooev r i g h t s Ac. ••nt ngenry for I iff _ pat en i ____ ('Atenta ___ taken through Mutin A4 CO. f receive C tf»eU û notice, w ithou t o h a rf«. ln t b « Scientific American. G be A hendanmely llltiatrafed weekly, l argest d r dila tion o f any •rien tiflc Inumai. Term «. 93 « rear ; fo u r tuontba. | L Bold b ja ll newsdealers. S m s k s s m I ©logon p Mr. Home Seeker— C. W. Matthews, Reaprieta* [ C O M E TO FA L L S CITY, O R E G O N ] and Buy Orohard Land ¿m P r o n i 1 ST Œ be Tòabo CHAS. M il, V, K K K tt Zf Special Subscription Bargains — Evening Telegram, and the F. C. News, one year, 3.75 Daily Journal “ “ “ " “ 4.50 ^ Semi-weekly Journal“ “ " “ “ 1.50 3.70 W eekly Oregonian, with 34-piece dinner set, ft m — ............. Nolke teN ew sS ekscrlbw « A b lu e - p e n e H e r e e s M a r a s a l n o t ic e m e s n e t e a t y e a r I «len to T k e N # w e R e a a s p i r e # a a # | » e a s e ftu ln p . D e N a s w . 1