The Kidneys ODD EXPERIENCES OF TOTJMSTS, When they are weak, torpid, or stagnant, the whole system suffers. Don't neglect Americana Tell of Queer Happenings While "Doing- Europe." Flow eat language U unalterably con- f 11 ntK kin I .. 1 M the achnK back, the bloated face, the saltow ! ' D S complexion, the urinary disordered begin ha f f" f ? 7? W . ; . . """li""oegin have arrived at the Hotel du Louvrs (IVatilUCUe Ok VUU WILLI Hood's Sarsaparilla which contains the best and safest curative substances. In usual liquid form or Jn chocolated tablets known as Sarsatabs. 100 doses $1. For the Defence. Ma I hear that you've been playing with Donald Smith again, Tommy. Now, I told you Tommy Piaylug with him 1 You see the black eye he's got and you'll soon guess if there was any playing about It. Punch. Hia Wooden Excuse. It was the next morning and Mr. Jap way was penitent. "This Is positively the last time, my dear, be said to his wife. "I had been reading about the exhaustion of the tim ber supply and I wanted to go on one more bat before it was all gone." Wayalde Communings. Adam Zawfox They say meat Is goln' to be cheaper. Job Sturky If It's any cheaper than the kind they've been handin' out to me lately somebody'U hv to pay me fur eatin' it, b'garsh 1 I'm no garbags reduc tion plant. "WHIZ" A New Parlor Game For the Long Winter Evenings Go to your dealer and buv a pound pack age of 20-Mule-Team BORAX. Cut off the top panel from package and mail to Pacific Coast Borax Co. Oakland, Cal. with 4c in t tamps and the WHIZ game will be promptly sent you Prepaid. WHIZ, the Sew Parlor Card game, can be played by all the family. It is composed of 44 handsomely printed cards inclosed in a flap case with full and com plete rules for playing. Entertaining, instructive or educational. Similar games cost 50c in the shops. You can get it FREE. Mail Orders You run no risk in sending your mail orders to us. We han dle reliable goods only and guar antee perfect satisfaction both as to price and quality. Send for our new reduced price list. New Fall Stock Women's Tail ored Suite, Skirts, Waists, Hos iery, Muslin Underwear, Corsets, Gloves, Dress Goods, Table Lin ens, Lace Curtains, Etc., Etc. McAllen & McDonnell Cor. Third and Morrison Portland, Oregon - The store noted for Best Goods at Lowest Prices. A PRSZE rL , PUZZ lip Find Santa Claut in Picture end Win a Fine Reward F.ee For every correct solution of this pua ste, we will give, absolutely f.ee, Mu ele Book, containing 50 good o d fnvor te National Sanga, with words and mu sic (only one book to each person) a io many other valuab.e prizes free. Ev eryone should know these songs s?nd today. Directions Mark outlines of Santa Claus plainly, cut adv. out, place In enveiope, enclose stamp lor reply and mall to our address below. pianoreliability 343 Washington St Car. Park PORTLAND ORF. LEAPING ' WK.TERJf V - " Winners wlU be soil Sad promptly by after "doing Europe" for the first time. The party Is composed of W. VIrges, a lumberman from Tacoma, and E. E.j Coovert, a Portland (Ore.) attorney,' and his wife, who has been studying operatic singing In Dresden. I "I didn't know we had crossed the Germun-French frontier," said Mr. Coo- j vert, "i was asleep on the seat aud a . French lady with a cat In a basket got aboard and went asleep alongside. Buddenly the cat started to cry, and, waking up, I discovered I was leaning too close to the lady (probably mashing the cat), and as she awoke, too, sh' pulled out her ticket, waving it In my! face. As I couldn't talk French, I told her In English I didn't want he ticket, but to give It to the conductor; When somebody came to explain I discovered the trouble to be that I was taking up too much of the seat Things like that don't hapien at home." At Mayence Mr. VIrges says b worked a unique scheme to see the Kaiser during the maneuvers. "Some one told me It would be 'al most impossible to get close enough to see him," said Mr. VIrges. "But 1 went to the authorities and told them was a Journalist from some Pacific coast newspaper, and after I had se cured the necessary papers I went tc the maneuvers In an automobile, pulled out the papers and passed the police, who saluted. I took with me to a hotel afterward two Phlladelphians, and w dined overlooking the boulevard whert the Kaiser was to pass. Almost Imme diately he appeared, and when the Phll adelphians cheered the Kaiser looked IP and saluted." Mr. and Mrs. Coovert nearly go. locked up In the opera here. Mrs. Coovert, whom I came over t bring home from her studies la Dres den, wanted to see 'The Valkyries," said Mr. Coovert "I expected to set a big ballet, but Instead two or thret persons came out and sang until oni died. The curious thing waa that when we left our hats coming la neither ol us took any notice where. When w came out we could not find the sami cloakroom and neither of us could speak one word of French. We pre sented the ticket at four different places, and I was getting mad. Aftei everybody else was gone one of the at tendants, taking my wife by the arm showed us the place. They were Jusl slamming the doors when we started out of the building. "After these experiences I am strong ly In favor of a universal language and that ought to be the American lan guage. New York Herald. For that Dandruff aa sasBSSBMsaeaas MsaasBasaaa saaaaiaaf There Is one thing that will cure it Ayer's Hair Vigor. It is a regular scalp-medicine. It quickly destroys the germs which cause this disease. The unhealthy scalp becomes healthy. The dandruff disap pears, had to disappear. A healthy scalp means a great deal to you healthy hair, no dan d ruff, no pimples,no eruptions. The best kind ol a testimonial "Sold for over sixty years." EJTGLISH STORIES. The Striking: War an Oxford Notable Won -a Nickname. Dean Stanley once went late to din ner with his collar flapping. His host ess ventured to ask him If he knew. "Oh, yes!" answered the dean, you mind?" "Not at all." said lady. "Then I don't mind, either. The button dropped off while I was dress ing." And the dean continued bis con versation. Rev. W. H. Tuckwcll Is responsible for the history of how an Oxford nota ble In the thirties got bis nickname, "Presence of Mind" Smith. He went boating with a friend and returned alone and was asked what had become BLOOD JHSEASELQ JCftD SYSTEM DISORDERED Catarrh, la not merely aa inflammation of the tissues of the head and Do throat, as the symptoms cf ringing' noises in the ears, mucous dropping back the into the throat, continual hawking and spitting, etc., would seem to indi cate ; it is a blood disease ia which the entire circulation and the greater part of the system are Involved. Catarrh is due to the presence of aa excess of uric acid ia the blood. The Liver, Kidneys and Bowels frequently be come torpid and dull in their action and instead of carrying off the refuse aud waste of the body, leave it to sour and form uric acid in the system. This is taken up by the blood and through its circulation distributed to all parts of the system. These impurities in the blood irritate and inflame the different membranes and tissues of the body, and the contracting of a cold will start the secretions and other disgusting and disagreeable symptoms of Catarrh. As the blood goes to all part3 cf the body the ca- i rr 1- n i, 1 . i-u. i ,i i . f.,11 of his companion. He explained that feelinir. nose continuallv stoooed ur. -n.-i-na above t!ie eves, sli-rht fever his friend had fallen Into the Thames, comes and goes, the stomach is upset and the entire system disordered and "and If I had not with great presence . . . . . affected by this disease. It is a waste ot of mind hit him on the head with a .Jerando iVcSSid ho time to try to cure Catarrh with sprays. boat hook the both of us would have oeen worse. I triod everything washes, inhalations, ets. Cuch treatment been drowned." auited. ithenWi The late Joseph Joachim was a great could see a UtUe 1 v frnm h .rf. Vint yerh Also BianufMturara .f SARSAPAB1UJL ILLS. CHESKY PECTORAL. ! auited. I then i eg-an B. S. s., ami does not reach the blood, and can, therefore, .tie imDrovexnenb An iiti .. .. 1 J.1 " '"1'""" ""J . favorite In London, and for more than taking- it a abort while was cv.red. the discomfort of the trouble. To cure sixty years rarely missed a season there. A certain noblemnn told him that be was going to St. James' hnll to hear him, and Joachim later asked him If he had found It tedious. "Not at all," serenply answered the titled per- tnld onBB- I enjoyed myself Immensely. xm waa aix years ag-o, ana 1 in Catarrh, permanently the blood must be as well today ob any man. Itiiink .i ... J ... . . , . Catarrh ia a blood diBeaao, and thoroughlypuriUedandthesystcmclcansea know there ia nothina on earth F nil ,,.V.-.r n,4 f i cn.nA tima Making Thlnara Even. Customer fto wntohmnkerl I rou that my watch lost half an hourl m not recognize you at first under yuur ulsituise ue n uivr. uul uiier i laughed all the more." The nobleman had strolled by mistake Into a min strel show Instead of the large concert halt, LEGAL DSTOIKATIOX. J every day, and now that you've repair ed it It gains half an hour. Watchmakei" Well, don't complain. It's onlv working to catch up lost time. PASS THIS AROUND 'ELLS HOW TO MAKf A SIMPLE RHEU MATISM CURE AT HOME. Liability of a city for Injuries due tc a fall upon a si le walk covered with let and snow, where the Ice, which accumu lated from natural causes, was lest than an li. cn la thickness, and the par son Injured knew when he went upoi It that it was smooth and slippery, and there was no other defect. Is denied Is Evans vs. Concordia (Kan.), 7 U R.A (N. 8.) 983. Notwithstanding the statute provide that a mortgage of real estate shall not be deemed a conveyance, whatever Iti terms, to as to enable the owner of tb mortgage to recover possession without a foreclosure, It Is held, In MoncrleS vs. Hare (Col.), 7 L. It. A. (N. 8.) 1001, that a court of equity may, pend ing foreclosure, Impound the rents and profits to be applied In reduction of the 4ebt That each proprietor and wholesale, of patent medicines Is permitted to de termine for himself to what retalleri he will refuse to sell is held. In Jayxn vs. Loder (C. C. A. 3d C) 7 L. It. A. (N. 8.) 084, not to prevent an under taking on the part of associations of proprietors, wholesalers and retailers to prevent rate-cutting from being within the Sherman anti trust act, If they bind themselves by an agreement not to sell to aggressive cutters of prices, and the agreement is enforced by the retailers notifying wholesalers who are aggressive cutters and putting upon the list of aggressive cutters all wholesalers who do not desist from selling to persons on the list so fur nished, the result of which Is greatly to Increase the cost of proprietary med icines to consumer throughout the cooatry. Hie Coaaolatlea. John and Willie are twins. Theli best friend and playfellow ia ArchU who Is gifted with red balr and a hot tamper. One day they quarrel ad and Archie started bom la a huff. The unsympathetic twin called after him : "Red head, red head!" Archie seemed not to bear until the Insult waa re peated. Tben be turned and called beck, "Doa't car If I am red beaded j I ain't twLaa, and folk can tell m apart I" Grand Fork Press. Prescription Given Which Sufferers DrettJ Disease Can Easily Make Up and Try at Home at Small Cast. To relieve the worst forms of Rheu matism, take a teaipoonful of the fol lowing mixture alter each meal and at bedtime: Fluid Extract Dandelion, one hall ounce: Compound Kargoa, one ounce; Compound Syrup Sariaparilla, three ounces. These harmless ingredients can be obtained rom any druggist in the mailer towns, and are easily mixed by lhakinc them well in a bottle. Eelisf Is generally felt from the first few dee. This prescription, states a well- known authority in a Cleveland morn Ins paper, forces tn clugged-np, Inac tive kidneys to filter and strain from th blood the poisonous wast matter and uric acid, which causes Rheuma tic. As Rheumatism is not only th most painful and torturous disease, but dan geioos to life, this simple recipe will no donbt be greatly valued by many suf ferers her at home, who should at one prepare the mixture to get this relief. It is said that a person who would take this prescription regularly, a do or two aaily, or even a few time a week, would never hav erios atidaey or Urinary disorders or RheumatliBS. Cut this out and preetrr It. Good Rhemnatttn o prescriptions which really relieve ars searce, indetd, aad whes yn need Ik, yon wast it beely. Aftermath. Visitor How are conditions here? Has oundfoce returned? Resident Coaditions are Siowly aet tling down to their former bis, but con- Quence has notj returned. Moat of the oeoiile still believe it was the children of :heir next door neighbors that carried iway their gates. Mothers will And Mri. WInilow Bonthlna Bvruu th b.at remedy to uu lor their children during- the teething period. Dflnorior mo dioou tuna d. s, d. . , , ... T . . . Nohod- thlnka more of B. s. 8. strenrthenedauabuiltup. Nothintf equal9 than I do. M.JIXS0M, S. S. S. for this purpose. It attacks the tapeer, Mien. disease at its head, rocs down to the very bottom of the trouble and r.iake3 a completa and lasting cure. S. S. S. removes every particle of the' catarrhal poison from the blood, making this vital stream pure, fresh and healthy. Then the inflamed mem branes begin to heal, the head is loosened and cleared, theliawkinr and spitting cease. every syniptom disappears, the constitution is built up and vigorous health restored. S. S. S. also tones tip the stomach and digestion and acts as a fine tonic to the entire system. If you are suffering with Catarrh begin the use of S. S. S. and write us a statement of your case and our physicians will Bend you literature about Catarrh, and give j'ou special medical advicfl Without charge, S. S. S. is for sale at all first class drug stores. THE SWiFT SPECIFIC CO.. ATLANTA, CAm PURELY VEGETABLE PILES CURED IN 6 TO 14 DAYS. PAZO OINTMENT is gna?antecd to cure any (Hue ol Itching, Blind. Bleeding or Protruding Plies in 6 to M da; a or money refunded. 60c. rerteotir uenr, Teacher? Tommy, the lesson speaks of ihe "thread of life." Does that convey . , Tommy-'Cause she might . X U 111 Ul J A IH 1. 1 . u. iimi. rou feel when you've got a stitch in your tide. Te He Avele4. "Do you believe there Is any future for me In politics?" "Tee," answered Senator Sorghum; "but In the? days of graft you want te take mlality good car net to be oue of those fellows who start In with a 8ae future and cetne out with a terri ble past." Washington Ktar. St. Vrtna rtaare ane all lverrona J)laaaat permansntLr cured by lr. Kllae'a Omul rv Restorer. Head fur r JtK& z trial Dome ana mailt. Dr. H. lLltUae, .. au Area uu, Phlla.,!". Tkea the Fire 'orka. "I ibnd a call from Mrs. Multiplunks feeterday." "Yes?" "Yes.: "I heard she was going in for lun nlug." Houston Tost Small Harold, after sizing up the new baby, said : "Well, that kid hasn't got any hair to comb, but he's got an awful lot of face tb be washed." Mamma Oarret, your conduct Is just dreadful. Why do you act so naughty? Garret (age 8) Oh, I guess it's be cause I'm too little to know any better. Momma Do you love your teacher, Tommy? Tommy Yes, mamma; but I don't want you to tell her. Mamma Why not? sue me for breach of promise. Visitor Well, my little man, hav you any brothers? Bright Hoy Yes, ma'am; I have one, but my sister has two. Vlsltoiv-Why, how's that? Bright Boy She has me and my brother. "Why, Nellie," said a mother to her small daughter, "you never saw me act naughty as you have been acting." "Of course not," replied Nellie, "I'm too much of a lady to notice such things." Little Sally (reading) What Is a prolonged conflict, Harry? Small Har ryI don t know. I asked papa this morning whnt it was and he said It was something I couldn't understand intll I grew up and got married. "Why, Nettie," said her mother, "what In the world ere you pounding your doll with your fathers slipper for?" "Because slie refuses to obey me, mamma," replied the little miss. "I'm not going to have the neighbors say that I spnred the sllppor and spoiled my child." Little Lloyd fapa, was Washington married to England? Papa Of course not, my son. Why do you ask such a silly question? Little Lloyd This book says England Is our moth er country and as George Washington was the father of his country I sup- nosed they were married. Coeldn't Be Fooled. The younger son of n well-known po litician of Chicago has s'iit pretty much all of his life In the big city by the lake, and, cmisequeutly, knows lit tle of country ways and things. Not long ago he visited a man be bad met in Chicago, and who maintains a big farm near Cairo, whither he bad Iqslsted the youuguter come for a lengthy stay. One day the Chicago youth was wan dering about the farm, closely exam ining the top, ends and sides of a cer tain trim, well-made object fenced round In the paddock. "What are you searching for, Jim my?" BKkcd the owuer of the place, with a quizzical smile. "Where are the doors and windows?" asked Jimmy. . "Doors and windows! Why, Jimmy, that's a haystack." "Look here, old man," exclaimed Jim my; I may be only a green person from the city, but you can't bluff me that way. Hay doesn't grow in lumps like that!" Harper's Weekly. The mattresses used In the German irmy are stuffed with little rolls of pa pei, and are said to be a great improve ment on straw. nOWAHD E. BURTON Aaayer arl Chemist, . lioailvtlle, Colorado. Kpeclmen prlt-eni Oold, Wtver, t.- ad, tl ! Hold, Hllver,7!c; Oold, o Blno of Conpt-r, tl. Cynnldo ti-mii. Mulling envelop and plre work Bollclled. ltelereuuwl Lou iliuilc llcatlon. Control and Urn- Carbonate IN w Write Us EZNGRAVING EL PLATES FOR PRINTING HICKS-CH ATTEN Portland Oregon CASTOR I A Tor Infants and Children. j The Kind You Have Always Bought ViflLiiiilWw-S'""" 250 Willi, Two Mop, Three Htep etc. Dance r ompl-ntvly tauiflifc and ffai-ranlpd In four .mhom ll.rseh Bi-c-i Portlnmi. Off hou j' Bears the Signature Cleanses trie Ura Effect ually; Dispels Lolds and ilea aclies aue to Constipation; Acts naturally, acts Truly as a Laxative. Best forMenvmen an ren-ybun anJ Old. Io et its TJenefirlril Effort e Genuine wkich I il s name of The Lorn- pany CALIFORNIA t Ro Sraup Co. Wtotwai it is neaufactureJ.nrinteii on trie IU rent et every pockn!e. having lately wad the 'Adventures of SOLO Br ALL LEADING DRUGGIST! l . oelHreeaUir pnee SO-bottl- Pesr Bk teepeaur. Pepy'a Diary, 1609-1869, commenting. on Bhakspeare'f plays, says of "Mld-i summer Night's Dream," "It Is the most Insipid, ridiculous play I ever saw In my life," and upon reading " Othel lo, Moor of Venice,' which I have hith erto esteemed a mighty good play, bat having lately read the 'Adventures o jIt Honrs,' It seems a mean thing.' Io get Us De Alwav buy the has the Jul. na Unavoidable Belay. "Tou can prove an alibi on this charge, ean't you?" aaked his lawyer. "Tes'r," said the captured crook ; "hut we'll have to wait a week or two. The fellies I'm goin' to prove it by ain't out ' Jail yit." Hate ot Ohio, City of Toledo ) . Lucas County. 1 Frank J. I'benoy makes ontli that he la wnlor tanner ol the Arm ol P. J. Clicnuy ft Co., dcitnn DtielneMintheCtty of Tolwlo. County and (Hale iforonald, and that gaid firm will pay the sum l ON'g HUNDRED DOLLARS 'for euch and very ease of Catarrh that cannot be cured by I uie use 01 nan a watarrn i.ure. FRAKK J. CHENEY. ' Iworn to before me and su birlbed in m y nes- Bnca, mis oiu uay 01 uweouwr a u in.v. tBea1-' Notary Public. Ball's Catarrh Cure Is taken luternally, and tets directly unn the blonit and mucous sur laeea of tbesysum. HcnU fortt-HilmonltilK free. T. J. Cll KNEY & C0.,Toledo,O. Bold by all drnairlsts, 7.'ic. lake llall's Ksmily 1'lUs for eonstlpatlon. Flllirr. Klub 47 What do the letters U. I. itand for? Copy Chopper Depends on the con text. They may stand either tor United Presbyterian or for Ilnrrimau. SPECIAL HOLIDAY OFFER ! Mull u nny (food picture wit h jt hIh ortlor for 91 W nn& wtt will Htnl you tiettiitiliil photo en litrueiiittnt of Prime framed In ft.hni ojiip frump like out: nii'nldu n'HiiNiire or fmine lfx)M InclitM. Vh ilo nil kin or enlnrv'lnfi nrttl rimlnk iinitshtnif. Hfnd u jour H m to l lw elopetl mid HiilnhMl. We pay returu ptmt GEO. H. STRONG 1 63 W.P-rk St. PorlUodr Offtw Jest a Sesseatloe. "Oh, my!" exclaimed the excited wo man who had mislaid ber husband. "I'm looking for a small ruun with oue eye." "Well, ma'am," rejilled the polite shopwalker, "If he's a very small man maybe you'd better use both eyes," Only One "BROMO QUININE." rhat is LAXATIVE IIHOMO Ql'lNlKK. Look lor the siKiiature of h. W. CltoVK. I'sed the World over to Cure a Cold lu One bay. ibu. University statistic of Europe semn :o indicate that men are drsiTtlng tlio practice of medicine aud women are Ink- US it up. INSURE YOUR HEALTH MD COMFORT l on stormy davs by wearing a i 4 tow, ha? Ifta.l m TTrKFD KTJVJAVlaJUJl - . : W vwn.i-i- .jiH J-r uurauie irffi'S 399 Everywhere Gnarantoed Wulerprouf P. N. U. fim. 51 -OT TI1KN willlnir Y rnmiilfin till to Kitvertlaera please ST PAT mm rRiCK M II the snakes from Ji Drove o GOBS Drives oil aches from the body, cures Rheumatism, Neuralgia an J CONQUERS PAIN 2EcALL DRUGGISTS COc. A Thoashtfal Wife. "Why did yoa tell your husbsnd that there would be three parts to the con cert) There are only two." "Yes, I know, but be will be so pleas ed when It leaves off sooner than he xpecta." Fl legend Blaetter. A Bare Wlaatr, Mr. Henpeck Those who ars on lucky In lovs ars said to be lucky at cards. Henpeck If yon'd let me out nights, dear, I think It would be a good thing or me to play poker. Puck. Before doing anything aa a result of enthusiasm or excitement, see If your enthusiasm or excitement won't wear off. mm if W. L. DOUGLAS $3.00 & $3.50 SHOES H-HOlS fOn EVERY MEMBER CF.wf( THt VAMILV. AT ALL fHICES. BEST IN THE WORLD injra THE REASON W. L. Kouxlasshouare worn by mora notl. In all walks ofiife than any otlier make is lrauM of thrir esoslkat styls, SMy-fitiing, and smarter nanus qualities, lltenkrtioo ofthal.ath.rs anii olhor materials for a-li p.rt of th. .hue and .very otail of tlie mskingi.lonli.d after hv the most complete orgeQir.aiion of suirifitiiUtfit.,foitienKod akillsdshosmakcrs, whoraotiv. tha hiittwiit p.idin the aiioei ndiwtry, and whoe wurknianslup oinnot t evralkd. If I oould take you. a to mylanisfa4itorieaat 1'rorkton.Mas.., Sndhow you bow esrafully W. L. llougla ho.sare mafls.vou wouldthan underhand why th.v hnldtlMirshai. 6t b.tt.r, r.&r nummr and ara of arratr v. hi. than any oilier meka. 04.OO anef 0B.OO OILT CDOE Shorn m omnnol b Maaaf mt any prlom. CAUTIONl Tha (a nelo. kav. W. L. UvMlaa uain.and prio. siainp.il on botiuni. Take le SaiMtltwte. Ask youroVatarfor W. L. I'ouslas shnn. If ha aaoant snily you, sni aluees to (eatery. thaasaaBievmyvueie by mail. Catalog (rae. W. L. Uouglas, i)rucku,.nae w