T t
I the Times I
"Ideals In America are as high ns
anywhere else," says .Mr. Br.vee, and a
good many things nre higher.
The scientific world Is taking the
monorail seriously. It Isn't as If It
were advanced by Nikola Tesla.
Ambassador Bryre sees a great fu
ture for the United States, and Is oth
erwise making himself agreeable.
Harry Orchard doesn't set up the
claim that he had to do It because of
the high prices of groceries. Let us
bo just.
A Kcw York court has decided that
on oyster Is a wild animal. Those who
have hunted hi in in the soup have often
remarked bis wildness.
Bernard Shaw claims that he has
read every line Mark Twain ever wrote.
Tl.en It Is a wonder he got time to
write anything himself.
Andrew Carnegie reports that Esi
peror William has a BWeet smile. An
drew has never Insisted that William
should raise a similar amount.
Once In a While some girl who has1
never been In a chorus succeeds lu get
ting a rich husband, thus showing that
there are exceptions to all rules.
The wife of a rblladelphla clergy
man occupied her husband's pulpit on
a recent Sunday, and the audience
came away well pleased with the hat
she wore.
It Is scarcely probable that the
thoughtful, more conservative element
among the Japanese people would be
lu favor of licking another nation for
& year or two at least '
Mark Twain probably would have
waited a few years before beginning his
autobiography, but he had an uneasy
feeling Unit Murat llalstead was about
to take the Job off his bands.
"Fate couldn't conceal him by nam
ing him Schiultz," says the New York
Evening Mall. Some concealment was
jiossible, esteemed contemporary, until
he was deprived of the Ituef that shel--tew
filnr.
Sir William Preece, the scientist, de
clares that he can hear the clash of
electric storms on the Burface of the
Bun. And when he was a boy It was
probably hard for hhn to hear his
another calling him to get up in the
morning.
Mrs. Totter rainier ridicules the ru
mor of her engagement to the Earl of
Munster on the ground that she doesn't
know the gentleman. She is evidently
going to set her sisters a good example
by getting acquainted with a man be
fore the marries him,
K .
r Tho favorable Impression which Jap
anese make upon people of other na
tions Is largely due to their courtesy,
good manners, ami the taste they dis
play In doing the most ordinary things.
When the crews of the Japanese war
nhlps which lately visited New York
were allowed shore llhefty, they had
their choice between spending the day
on. the llowery, the delight of every
sailor's heart, and visiting Orant's
tomb. They went to the tomb. Is there
any other nation the sailors of which
would use their Bhore leave. In paying
their respects to a national hero of the
people they are visiting?
The English government has been en
gaged In the auction sale of some most
costly notional toys. Instead of selling
a lot of obsolete warships to recruit the
navy of some second-rote power the
government has chosen to knock them
down, guns aud all. under the auction
eer's hammer,, to be broken up by the
purchasers. Among these pretty na
tional playthings Is the famous first
class battleship Sana Parell, of 10,470
tons, which cost $3,032,005 to build and
was knocked down for $84,000. The
whole lot was sold off at the same or
greater depreciation from the original
cost. It Is cstlmoted that the warships
of the nations rapidly become so obso
lete that In twenty years they are fit
only to be broken up for more useful
purposes.
A few months ago It was announced
that the Italian government hod con
sented to a proposal of Prof. Waldsteln
of Cambridge university that there
tumid be au International excavation
of Herculaneum. It appears that, on
further consideration, the government
has rejected tho proposal, ami no for
eign aid will be accepted for, the exca
vation of these or any other ancient
ruins. This Is much to be regretted, as
Italy Is not In a financial condition to
provide funds for an effective prosecu
tion of the work. Although Hercula
neum Itself may not suffer by the delay.
there are other sites which cry aloud
for speedy excavation, for valuable evi
dence is In their case being destroyed
dally by the "march of modern Im
provement." Truly life Is full of peril. Not merely
the peril that comes with steam and
electricity, and gasoline motors, perils
by laud ana perns or water, but the
dangers that confront us even when
we think we are following the most
hygienic laws of nature. Exactly
where we stand we know not, for Just
as we have learned froui'Mr. Gladstone
and Dr. Fletcher that each mouthful
of food should be chewed patiently
from 20 to l.'iO times, according to the
substance thereof, along comes Dr.
Wiley and warns us against the dan
ger of too much chewing. Rather should
we bolt our food, after the manner of
the Intelligent dog, for notably In the
case of meat much chewing is the fore
runner of serious indigestion. And
when we have meekly accepted this
doctrine up rises a physician, fresh and
ruddy from his sixteen days' fast, and
tells us not to eat at all, but drink
copiously of sparkling water, for eat
ing Is a vile habit, productive of many
diseases of the digestive organs. Still
bewildered, we are constrained to re
sort to a cold bath, which is much ad
mired of certain medical gentlemen.
On the brink of the tub a Los Angeles
expert halts us and assurs us that no
body ever did enjoy a cold bath, and
that, moreover, it Is as dangerous as It
Is unpleasant We heat the water,
nnd again we are checked by an Eng
lish scientist, who warns us to forbear
from soap "If we must bathe, because,
ns the Lancet admits, soap Is the cause
of "the frequent Inability of the Anglo
Saxon to resist disease." Even the
fact that If we die we die clean cannot
entirely reconcile us to the thought of
a premature demise. And so, unfed,
unwashed,- we go about our dally busi
ness or seek In germ-Infested sheets the
sweet oblivion of all that makes life
one perpetual menace. Assuming that
we have slept three hours and a -half,
Mr. Edison wakes us up and assures
us that In excess of slumber we are
despoiling our natural resources and
swiftly Inviting general debility. We
arise, possibly reluctantly, and await
the next expert opinion as to the de
velopment of a long and merry life.
Now, in the absence of testimony from
Methuselah and old rarr, we must ac
cept every suggestion that Is offered or
reject them all with "a plague o' both
your houses," or try to live up to the
teachings' of the grandmothers. These
were not numerous, but they were ex
planatory and mandatory. They In
volved the general principle, "Eat
slowly; chew your food," without any
special enumeration of Jaw movements.
They maintained the doctrine, "Early
to bed and early to rise," without de
fining the exact hours. They Insisted
upon the old-fashioned Saturday night
soak, with soap and plenty of It And
the subjects of this treatment lived to
a fine old age or died young, according
ns Providence decreed, and with no
haunting fear that sleep, or meat, or
soap was shortening their days. Arte
mus Ward said, "We air guverned 2
mutch," nnd Artemus passed away be
fore the medical experts and the scien
tific gentry assumed entire charge of
our living and dying, even when quar
reling one with the other. , What he
would say In the present emergency
would require probably all the Ingenu
ity of his exuberant spelling.
SKUNKS EAT GRASSHOPPERS.
Hitherto Shunned Animal la Do
flared to Be the Farmer' Friend.
Skunks are the farmers' friends, ac
cording to the biological survey of the
department of Agriculture, and deserve
to be cultivated rather than destroyed,
says tho Pittsburg IMstapch.
The experts of this bureau have
found that . the skunk, shunned and
avoided as It Is, Is the greatest grass
hopper exterminator known. It takes
rank ahead of the red-headed wood
pecker, barnyard fowls and meadow
larks. In the past the skunk has been
an animal regarded as worthy only of
the price of Its pelt or the lard Its fat
would produce.
Now the biological survey Insists that
when a field Is overrun with grasshop
pers all that Is necessary for the farm
er to do Is to gather together a work
ing force of skunks nnd turn them loose
In the Infested area. The skunk will do
the rest
While skunks are not animals to be
handled with Impunltly, a herd of do
mesticated skunks might be kept on
hand on every farm to use In an emer
gency. If the skunk Is not Immediately
applied to the grasshopper pest the
grasshoppers will eat up the Held and
pass on to the next
Not Damn Waiter.
Patron A nice way you serve things
In this blnnkoty blank restaurant!
Here's a hairpin In the salad.
Walter That's part of the dressing,
sir t The Bohemian.
Whv Is It that ii mnrrlivl trnmon
dom has any use for a pretty female
servant r
AW ACCEPTABLE SACRIFICE.
By Rev. Henry i Cope.
If I were hungry I would not tell
thee; for the world is mine and the
fullness thereof. . . . Offer uuto
God thanksgiving, and pay thy vows
to the Most High. Psalms 1 :12-14.
Men are not drawn together by a
collection box. -To make, this the
standard emblem of the church Is but
to emphasize the difference between
the Institution nnd the one who said,
"Come unto me all ye that labor and
are heavy laden and I will give you
rest." It little helps the need of a
hungry world to stand ever before It
begging It to give, to bring in Its offer
ings.
To the plain' man there will always
seem some absurdity In the request that
he, human aud Unite, should sacrifice
his owu lamb or his few hard earued
pennies to a belug who Is almighty, to
whom the whole creation belongs. He
cannot understand a Father who docs
nothing but sit by his altar aud watch
the tithes brought in.
Is this the only concrete expression
we can make of the spirit of worship,
to give up material things to a spiritual
beipg? Whence this change of concen-
tlon, from the servants of the Man of
Nazareth, who were sent out to heal
and help and do good, to an Institution
going out to collect everything that la
good for Itself?
Surely nothing could be farther from
the old seer's and singer's thought of
the wondrous one, from whom all
things came, the source of all being,
all beauty, all worth and wealth. He.
as they clothed his glory in terms of
mankind, was the great giver instead
of a getter. To him the hungry looked
and were fed, the naked were clothed,
the sad cheered; to all he gave their
meat In due season.
The emphasis was not on God's need
of man and bis possessions, but on
man s need of the Most High. The life
and spirit, the eternal power that.
moves through all our lives, needs not
our bare pittance wrung with anguish
from field or loom, but the opening of
our hearts, the lifting up of ourselves
Into touch with things sublime and
spiritual. Heaven needs our hearts.
Who Is to be pitied more than ha
to whom religion Is the dropping of
pennies through the slot of a collec
tion box and seeing the world through
Its narrow crack. Rather Is it the
learning to see the eternal goodness,
the unremitting giver in all this world,
In every event, until the whole helm-
goes out In grateful praise, offering the
sucrince of thanksgiving.
I rue, there Is no religion without
sacrifice. But there Is none lu the
sacrifice of gifts to the-Almighty as
though he were hard up, nor In gifts
regarded as payments on paradise mort
gages or as means of molllfylug an
offended Judge. The sacrifice whose
aroma rises sweet to heaven Is the
survice of love, the self-denial born of
gratitude or affection, the gifts to men
because they are the children of the
good Father. j
The broken heart, the contrite sigh,
the sympathy that serves these are
the sacrifices on which the welfare of
the whole universe wults. We honor
the divine less by lofty steeple or peal
lug organ than by entering Into the
beauty and enjoying the riches of the
great temple of nature and making Its
wealth known, available and apprecia
ble by all men everywhere.
The winning of the world waits for
the revelation of the wealth of the
Lord of all being. Men need not tarry
till they have taxes for him; with
empty hand, with hungry hearts, with
needy spirits, they are Invited to come
to the Father of spirits and the feast
'of his love as men came, the Blek, the
weary, the sad, long ago to one In
whom they found the wealth of in
finite love.
RIGHT THOUGHTS.
By Rev. Dr. Frank Oliver Hall.
Think on these things. Phlllpplaus
4 :8.
What things? Things that are true,
honest, Just, pure, lovely, attractive,
virtuous, honorable. Upon these things
says Paul, "Lqt your thoughts dwell."
Tlioughts are things as much as
brick walls and paved ' streets are.
There Is such a thing as I sanitary
thinking as surely as there if such a
thing as Insanitary plumbing. There
Is a mental atmosphere conducive to
health ns much as sunshine and fresh
air, and there Is a miasma of the soul
which Is as deadly as the malaria of
Dismal Swamp.
To select a spiritual dwelling place
where the i atmosphere Is heavy with
hate and poisonous with passion; to
pull up the shutters of despair and ex
clude the sunshine of. hope; to close
the' windows of the heart and exclude
the light of faith and the warmth of
love, is ns deadly as It would be to
build one's house In a stagnant marsh
or to live In a dark, unventllated cellar.
Notice that Paul writes as If nieu
had tho power to select their own In
tellectual dwelling places. So they
have. Physically most men must dwell
where circumstances ordain. But the
oorest man may have a dwelling place
for his mind more desirable than the
region In which many a millionaire Is
content to reside, In au atmosphere of
the soul filled with unclean odors.
Every man has within himself the
power to change his mental dwelling
place. The normal man has power to
direct his thoughts as he has power to
direct his hand. By the exercise of
such power he may win success, char
acter and righteousness.
-The mind Is master of the body. Ex
periment demonstrates that thought
pumps the blood Into the head or hands
or feet according ns one directs his
mind, and that emotions, controllable
by the will, may refresh or poison the
physical system as they are good or
bad.
Paul has given us not only the secret
of health, but the secret of happiness.
Not the dwelling place of the body,
but the dwelling place of. the thoughts,
determines whether one's life shall be
filled with Joy or with misery. Some
of the most miserable people live In
mansions, dine sumptuously and dress
luxuriously. Some of the happiest
people live In very lowly circumstances.
The difference Is entirely mental.
One man Is miserable In spite of his
fine physical circumstances; another
Is happy In poverty because of his
mental dwelling place. Moreover, Paul
Indicates here the road to success.
More people fall to achieve their
worthy ambitions because they culti
vate wrong mental habits than for any
other cause whatever.
Life Is full of splendid opportunities
for the man who will seize them, and
all the forces of the universe help oft
the man whose mind dwells In faith
and courage and confidence and Indom
itable hope; and all the forces of the
universe Bet against the man who
dwells in a mental atmosphere of
doubt and despondency, suspicion of
himself and his fellow man.
Finally, thought means comfort.
What you do depends upon wh,at you
think. Conduct Is first In the mind,
afterward In the body. Beware of
wrong thinking. Beware of holding
evil pictures before the Imagination.
Do not play with evil even In your
thoughts, for what you think will reg
ister Itself ultimately and Inevitably
In what you do.
On the other hand, one can overcome
all the evils wl.th which his inner life
is beset by exercising the will In the
direction of right thinking. If you
would do the things you ought to do
and leave undone the things you "ought
not to do, then look to your thoughts
and In whatsoever things are true,
honest, Just, pure, lovely, attractive,
virtuous, honorable, there let your
thoughts dwell.
Short "Meter Sermons.
Difficulty often Is a divine challenge.
Singing cures more sorrow than
sighing.
The finger of scorn never Is on the
helping hand.
No man ever did his duty standing
on his dignity.
Soul culture is a matter of spiritual
companionship.
Knocking the saints will "not open
the doors of paradise.
Character Is the only absolutely In
dispensable capital.
He who has no faith In goodness has
no experience of It
Our goods do us no good until we try
to do good with them.
Men who elope with a Blngle Idea
never get wedded to truth.
Men always are weary until they
take up some worthy task.
He who does not fight his appetite
must forego his aspirations.
The most up to date feature of some
sermons Is the dust on them.
Only wings of pride Imagine them
selves rising on the breath of applause.
The mountains of transfiguration are'
few; valleys of service everywhere.
The fooliBh -virgins usually go back
to conduct classes In the art of lllum
lnhtlon. You always can measure a man's
faith by Inverse ratio according to the
fuss he makes over It
When a man's cake Is dough he is
quite likely to advertise himself as a
dispenser of the bread of life.
One of the great mistakes of this age
has been the substitution of the church
as an Institution for the church as an
Inspiration.
This world succeeds In keeping many
a man poor In person, but It never will
succeed In, keeping one poor In heart
without his consent
When the gift of a little for charity
seems to put a man Into mortal pain
you may be sure the root of evil is
striking down Into a vital spot.
riewltt What did they" charge you a
day at that summer hotel? Jewltt I
only know the -minute price. Town
Talk.
First Commuter WThat do you do
with yourself evenings? Second Con,.
muter I take the 5:03 train from tim
city. Puck.
"How was the comic opera?" "Mv
wife thought the costumes were dis
gusting." "I guess I'll go." Louis vl ii
Courier-Journal.
Cook Now we've 'ad words, you'll
be lookln' for another cook to keen.
company with? Policeman Not me.
I'll starve first! Puuch.
Hadsum I want a good revolver.
Dealer A slx-Bhooter? Hadsum Bet
ter make It a nine-shooter. It's for a
cat next door. Ally Sloper. '
"Now that your son's In college, I
suppose he'll be getting very exclusive ;
he'll be getting into the 400." "Oh, he's
more exclusive than that already; he's
on the nine." Philadelphia Piess.
"Dp you regard baseball as a health
ful game?" "Well," answered the phy
sician, "I should say It ought to do a
great, deal toward strengthening peo
ple's lungs." Washington Star.
Comparative Stranger What's all
the excitement about? Summer Board
erNothing; Just a lynching. The man
who wrote the folders about this plac
Is coming down on the train. Puck.
Yeast Our boarding-house lady, ha
Keen taking cooking lessons, and she
says next week she Is going to try her
hand In her own kitchen. Crlmsonbeak
Is that a threat or a promise? Yon
kers Statesman.
First Boy Did you really win three
prizes at school? Second Ditto Yes,
and one was for my excellence of mem
ory. "How did you win the others?"
"The others? I forget what they were
for." Black and White.
Father Well, how does your husband
succeed with his aft? Does he sell any
pictures? Daughter I should think sot
Why, there Is not a single one left of
those you gave us for a wedding pres
ent Fllegende Blatter.
Mrs. Goodart I always feel so sorry
for those poor shop girls; they're so
overworked, you know. Mr. Goodart
Well, my dear, the best way to help
them Is to keep away from bargain.
sales. Catholic Standard nnd Times.
Miss Elderlelgh Jane Jones Is a.
mean, spiteful old cat. Miss Younger
What's the matter? Miss Elderlelgh
I told her that my family came over la
the Mayflower and she asked me if I
wos seasick. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Mr. McDooley Faith, an' It do be a.
question OI have fer yez, me darlln'.
Miss Clancey Pfwat Is it( Pat? Mr.
McDooley Whin It comes tolme for
the funeral, how would yez like t be
th' Wldder McDooley? Chicago- Dally
News.
Wise He's very wealthy. Mrs. Wise-
Yes, and very stingy and mean. Wise-
Come now, you're not sure of that
You mustn't Judge a man by his
clothes. ' Mrs. Wise I don't. I'm Judg
ing him by his wife's clothes. Phila
delphia Press.
"Our engagement will have to be
temporarily susiended," announced: the- ,
summer girl, calmly. "Oh, impossible,'"
the young man vowed. "It will have to
be. My husband writes that he li com
ing down for a week." Louisvllle-Courler-Journal.
-
"My good man," said the lndy mis
sionary, "do you ever pause to 'think,
w here you are going?" "Sure tTng,'"
replied the unlaundered hobo. "Ef I
didn't I might get on de wrong freight
an land back at me startln place!"
Chicago Dally News. v
"Do you think the time will come
when there' will be no money In poll
tics?"' said one dobs. "I don't know,'"
answered the other. "It won't be our
fault If It doesn't We have done the
best we could to take out all there was
ln lf-Washlngton Star. s'
Russian Official You can not star
In this country, sir. Travelers-Then,,
of course, I will leave It "Have you a
permit to leave?" 'No, sir." "Then I
must tell you that you can not go. I
give you twenty-four hours to make up
your mind as to what you will do."
Tattler. :
"Train holdups," said .the old trav
eler, "are nothing new for me. I've
been In' lots of them." "How does It
seem to be covered with a revolver?"
asked the listener. "Cant say,", replied
the old traveler. "I've always been
held up with a whisk broom." Mil
waukee Sentinel.
"Can you give bond?" .asked the
Judge. "Have you got anything?"
Jedge," replied the prisoner, "sence
you ax me, I'll tell you; I hain't got
nuth.n' In the worl 'cept the spring
chills, six acres o' no-'count land, a big
family, a hope of a hereafter, an' the
oV war-raeumatlsinr Atlanta" Consti
tution. '