lopics or
the Times
5
When the umbrella trust is turned
Inside out may be we all caa afford
to buy umbrellas.
If the Japanese should take San
Francisco there is a' probability that
they would soon want to return it.
"The crop of children Is the best
crop of the nation," says the President.
And It is in 110 danger from the little
green bug.
It takes more than an automobile to
make a gentleman, but It Is surprising
how many counterfeits are in general
circulation these days.
Mr. Roosevelt's remark that the best
crop f all is the crop of children is
probably all right, but nothing couid
be better than the crop of June brides'
looks.
"Knter the Boo sisters Peeka and
Carl," says the New York Mull. Well,
what's the matter with the others
Hugo, Gaza, Ta and Bain? Don't dis
criminate. The physician who says that most
germs exist only In the Imagination
has in all probability been trying to
read some of the late offerings in cur
rent Action.
When two disagreeable people mar
ry we are led to believe that Cupid has
had the lielp of uu Invisible power in
arranging matters In a way not to spoil
two families.
Judge Iloldom of Chicago, who lik
ened the law In certain cases to a
kimono because "it covered everything
und touched nothing," might have add
ed that both supplied an opportunity
for redress.
A green monkey was born In one of
the New York "zoos" "the other day,
and a Massachusetts man claims that
he has captured a white robin. Have
the animals and birds themselves be
come nature fakers? .
,A Kansas paper remarks that the al
tltudlnous price of bacon Is not ac
counted for by any noticeable absence
of hogs In the market. No, It Is ac
counted for by the noticeable presence
of hogs In the beef trust.
A Boston preacher announces that in
eight yearn the reign of the devil will
come to an end. This Is Important If
true, and we could name several gen
tlemen who would like to know whose
presidential administration Mr. Sa
tan's relgu Is to end with.
When the Queen of Spain wishes to
cnll her baby to her she does not say,
"Alfonso Plo Crlstlno Kduardo Fran
cisco Uulllcrmo Carlos Enrique Ku
genlo Fernando Antonio Venanclo, come
here!" It would take too long to use
all the twelve names given to him
at his christening. It Is probable that
she simply says, "Oo tootsle, wootsle,
darling 'II tie p'eclous sweetklns, tome
to 'our own loving momsie woiusle!"
The Norwegian storthing has passed
a hill providing that women who ac
knowledge that they ore more than i!o
years of age and who pay taxes on on
Income of $110 or more, or who are
married to men who pay taxes on such
Incomes, may vote. In arranging It so
that the women will merely have to
confess to more than 2." years the
Htorthlng has done one of the most gal
lant acts recorded In the history of civ
ilization. Citizens of Spokane propose that ad
jnoent portions of Idaho, Washington
and Oregon be reassembled Into a new
State to be called Lincoln. Advocates
of the plan maintain that this division
Is the natural one, with resect to the
geographic formation, and also to the
Interests and occupations of the people.
Strong ommsltlon comes nuturolly from
jieople m Pnrts the three States not
Included In the proposed new State.
The Idea Is doubly Interesting ut pres
ent when the feeling for State lines
Is said to lie dissolving oil over the
country; It Indicates that the sense of
the State unit Is very strong, and that
It Is a matter of deep lmiwrtance to
a man whether ho lives lu Oregon or
"Lincoln."
Hallway accidents have bxn usually
ascribed to insufficient equipment Prof.
I' H. Dixon, tu nu article In the At
lantic Monthly, concludes that the real
dlltlculty is not uieeiiauleal but human.
It Is not the failure or the lack of
the- block-signal that causes the trou
ble, nor would the Installation of auto
matic stops and other devices cure
the evil. "The fundamental weakness
of American railroading from the
tandpolnt of safety Is the wide-spread
and almost universal lack of disci
pline," This conclusion accords with
the experience of the rae. Disciplined
armies poorly equipped have triumphed
over armies well accoutered and pro
visioned, but lucking in discipline. It
Is likely, however, that railroad em
ployes will point out at once the lack
of discipline begins In the poor general
ship of the managers who demand lin
possible things of their soldiers.
A tramp does not tramp, he rides.
This Is one of the facts brought out by
O. F. Lewis of New York In a paper
read by him at the national conference
of charities and correction at Minne
apolis. Railroads are Infested by
trumps. The railroad is the victim of
the shortsighted jxillcy of local magis
trates, and, In return, not with revenge
ful Intent but by a sort of poetic jus
tice, Is the chief purveyor of tramps to
the towns along its way. A tramp Is
arrested for vagrancy. To escape the
cost of his Imprisonment the court re
leases him on condition that he leaves
town within twenty-four hours. That
means that he gets on the first freight
train and moves oo to the next town.
As every town Is engaged In passing Its
tramps along the supply is never end
ing. If local authorities were not lfr
different to the projwrtlons of the
tramp evil and wilfully blind to the
way In whlcB It Is perpetuated It could
be ended. If every town sent to the
rock pile every vagrant found within
Its borders the trouble would be ended
Immediately, and the expense would be
no greater than that occasioned by the
process of passing tramps along.
Tramps steal as well as beg. They set
fires carelessly and In "revenge. They
cost the town officially, and the citizens
Individually, and the heavy burden
placed upon the railroads by trampi
comes upon the community ultimately.
In the first five years of the century
American railroads killed 1,000 passen
gers, 10,243 employes, and 23,964 tres
passers on trains or tracks, the major
ity of the latter being tramps. The
fact that 4,000 tramps or some such
number can be killed upon the rail
roads without diminishing the visible
supply Is a clew to the number of them.
When a town Is unwilling to pay the
hospital expenses of a trespasser who
Is Injured, but not killed, the railroad
settles the bill, but the public does not
escape. The maimed man is thence
forth a charge upon the community
either as a beggar or In some public
almshouse. In Europe It Is as much
an offense to trespass upon the rail
road's right of way as It Is to break
the law In any other manner. The
magistrates realize that It Is for the
public good to keep unauthorized per
sons from walking upon the tracks or
riding upon trains. America Is an easy
going country, but the time has coma
when this problem must be faced and
settled. The tramp costs too much,
considering that he Is not a luxury, an
ornament, or a necessity.
CHAMPION MABKSWOMAN.
Br;
MISS MADGE TELFORD.
Miss Madgo Telford, the champion
woman rifle shot of Australia, has re
cently defeated the crack markswotuen
In a championship match between the
Commonwealth Ladles' Rifle Club and
the women of the Bengal-Punjab Klfle
Association. She Is a member of the
Commonwealth Ladles' Klfle Club, Mel
bourne, and has made the highest
score yet achieved by any woman In
that country. There Is a movement
looking toward bringing Miss Telford
to the United States to contest for ths
world's championship with some of the
crack shots among American marks
women. No Wif of Jadvlnaj,
"What are the running expenses of
your army?" asked one South Ameri
can ruler of another.
"Oh, I don't know," replied the one
addressed. "The armv hasn't hnrf
chance to run for a long time uow."
1 outers Statesman.
No Dtflerenco la Sound.
The difference between a good and
bad chauffeur Is merely the difference
between wreckless and reckless.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
La....,,,,,,,
Efer
MATURE" V3 LAWS DIVERSIFIED'
BY MINGLING OF WATERS' Of
LAKE AND RIVER
Rewrite the Ichthyology of America.
Insert under the headings denoting the
different species many new varieties
unknown to former piscatorial lore.
Add new subgenera and change the for
mation of varieties. For a great trans
formation in the fifth class of verte
brate animals has resulted from the dig
ging of the Chicago drainage canal and
the commingling of the lake's waters
with those of the rivers. The digging
of the channel across the great divide
that once separated Lake Michigan
from the Mississippi Valley has let
the lnke fish Into the Des Plalnes, the
Illinois and the Mississippi rivers. The
seeming unnatural commingling of wa
ters has produced fishes that soein un
naturalthat Is, when compared to our
present standards. New forms, new
varieties, new types have appeared,
differing In color, habits and general
description from any other known to
the American pisciculturist. Coexist
ent with the apKarance of the new
kinds of fishes there Is noted a most
remarkable Increase generally In the
number of the finny Inhabitants of the
Des Plalnes and Illinois rivers. The
Des Plalnes River fairly swarms with
fishes, and fishermen are reaping a har
vest such as their fondest fancy never
pictured In former tlnies. All along
the canal, and the Chicago River, and
far down the Illinois River, the same
conditions are noted to a greater or less
extent. Ichthyologists have marvelled
at the seeming phenomena, and from
all sections of the country scientists
are coming to study the conditions, to
make note of the new forms and record
them In the new history of American
fishes, which now must undergo a com
plete revision. True, many dead fishes
have appeared In the rivers, but all
such show marks of violence and no
evidence of disease. It Is evident that
great warfare Is going on among
them over which families and species
shall have the best right to make the
river their future home.
With the Increase In the number of
the river fishes, there appears to be a
corresiiondlug Increase In the number
of Lake Michigan fishes. At least, all
the lake fishermen are complaining, and
the assertion Is freely made that the
lake's finny tribe are being emptied
through the canal Into the rivers be
yond the Chicago divide. Formerly
this divide formed a wall thirty miles
wide between the lake and the river
fishes, und the types Inhabiting the two
waters, generally speaking, were en
tirely separated and distinct. But when
the cnual was dug ueross the divide
und the Chicago River was turned up
side down, and Instead of flowing Into
the lake was made to become an out
let of the lake and empty the lake's
waters Into the canal and thence Into
the Des Plaincs and on Into the Mis
sissippi Ulver near St Louis, the lake's
fishes have gone with the outflowing
waters Into the rivers, there to Join the
river fishes and compete with them In
the struggle for existence. Thousands
of these fishes, while being hurried on
with the current, have been noted with
tlie naked eye by boatmen and people
Btandlng on the batiks of the river and
canal. Sometimes the water seemed to
be fairly olive with them, and fisher
men, unable to resist the temptation,
hnve defied the law, and, in nets, have
hauled them to the shore In wagon
loads. Lake trout and perch, never
before caught outside of the lakes, have
been brought to shore by thousands nil
along the canal and the Chicago and
Des Plalnes rivers. Lake herring, clseo
grayling, chubs, lake trout, white fish
and numerous other fishes, heretofore
regarded as exclusive Inhabitants of
tha great lakes, now swarm. lit the wa
ters beyond the Chicago divide. White
bass, pickerel and uiuscallmige have
been found In giiodly numbers, and two
specimens of the Michigan grayling,
heretofore found only In Lake Michi
gan and In the waters of Michigan
State, have been caught. .
Once they have crossed the bear
trap dam at Lockport, thero is no way
for any of these great swarms of fish
to return to Lake Michigan, and they
must moke their home In the rivers
beyond and fight for supremacy with
the old Inhabitants of these waters. It
Is probable that the conflict which will
result In the survival of the fittest, will
?nuse a weeding out of many of the
types now abounding, and some of the
river fish and some of the Invaders
from the lake will undoubtedly become
innlhlluted. Indications arts however,
that the general result wJl be most
En:
beneficial to the lake fisheries. The In
fusion of new blood Into the old river
stock already seems to have added new
life to the waters, and nence.'whlle the
fishes are fighting for supremacy, they
are multiplying enormously, and the
splendid specimens of all the varieties
this season show that the health and
general physical condition have been
greatly improved. The fish feed uion
each other, and it appears that none of
the deaths have resulted from other
causes than violence. The season has
afforded unprecedented sport for those
searching for game fish. Old-time
sportsmen have turned their attention
from the northern lakes to the Illinois
rivers and neighboring lakes. For the
small lakes all along the rivers show
the same wonderful Increase In pis
catorial population.
Complaints of the alleged effects on
Lake Michigan fisheries at first were
ridiculed by the drainage canal trus
tees, but they have become so numerous
that these officials have been forced to
take cognizance of them. The river's
gain Is Lake Michigan's loss, It Is de
clared, and how to prevent the exodus
of lake fish Is a problem that the sani
tary trustees are now wrestling with.
So fur, the only solution of the prob
lem that has been suggested Is the
building of flshways at all the dams
ond locks. along the artificial water
route. But this, It Is feared, would
weaken the dams, and It Is doubtful If
it would be possible to construct them
lu a manner that would permit the fish
to make their, way back to Lake Mich
igan, once they had wandered so far
away as the Illinois River. Two meth
ods of constructing the flshways have
been proiwsed one consisting of what
is known as a fish ladder, which would
consist of a series of steps, over which
the water In desoendlng would turn the
fall Into a cascade, and thus permit
the fish to climb back lu pursuing
their return Journey to the lake; the
other comprising a chute with a sinu
ous track for diminishing the velocity
and assisting the passage of the fish to
the level above the dam. Because of
the nature of the locks and dams, their
width and number. It is doubted If this
device would prove successful, even If
the construction did not Interfere so
materially with the mechanical opera
tions. The appearance of the new types of
fish, entirely different from anything
recorded by former naturalists, has
stirred up the scientists, and the here
tofore despised Des Plalnes River hns
come Into prominence as the center of
piscatorial Interest, for It Is here that
the new types and increased number of
fishes have attracted widespread atten
tion. The strange and new types of fishes,
never noticed to any great extent until
this year, are undoubtedly the result
of the Intercrossing that came about
nfter the Invaders from the lake had
accustomed themselves to the new en
vironments. On finding It Impossible
to make their way back to the lake,
they Bettled down to make the best of
their life In the nnrrow confines of the
rivers and necept the condition of mis
cegenation with the river fishes as the
THE SAME
fell qjpjP
Cincinnati Post
best for all concerned. St. Louis Globe
Democrat.
HOW TO REDUCE THE FLESH.
Increasing the Lnngr Capacity la the
Flmt Reqntaite.
,To Increase the lung cnpaclty Is the
first step lu the reduction of flesh, says
Outing. For this purpose running Is, I
think, superior to any other exercise.
Boxing nnd handball are also excellent
for the "wind." And these exercises
will do more to Increase the respira
tory functions; they will greatly stim
ulate the circulation as well as all the
secretory and excretory processes.
What leg exercise will not do, how
ever, Is oxidize, to any great extent,
the soft tissues of the trunk and arms.
True, by stimulating the organs of
elimination nnd by increasing lung ca
pacity, leg exercises will oxidize upper
tissues somewhat ; but when fat Is not
replaced by muscle, it has a strong ten
dency to reform.
A bad effoj-t of leg exercises exclu
sively Is that they draw a major part
of the blood, rich In oxygen, to the low
er limbs; whereas If vigorous arm and
trunk exercises were executed, beside
the leg exercises, much blood would be
attracted also to the upper parts
which would then be oxidized to tho
best advantage, their lost fat being, ut
the same time, replaced by solid tis
sue, and hence having little tendency
to reform. Running, therefore, splen
did exercise though It Is, should be
supplemented by vigorous ''upper" ex
ercises. By vigorous upper exercises
I do not mean calisthenics nor any
kind of so-called light exercises; . I
mean reasonably hard work.
Making Baae Ball Data.
What becomes of all the baseball
bats? Is quite like the old Inquiry of
"What becomes of all the pins?" At
any rate, big factories are running all
the year round, turning out nothing
but bats. When one considers the 10,
000,000 small boys lu this country and
that each one averages four bats dur
ing his early baseball days, the prob
lem Is reduced to figures which ac
count for the demand, says Popular
Mechanics. Bats are no longer whittled
out of a piece of board, as was dona
forty years ago. but are made on ma
chines which ,turn out their thousands
dally.
The process Is simple but slow. First
the logs are cut Into "bdlts" of from
thirty-two Inches to forty-two Inches
long and the bolts sawed Into billets
two and a half Inches or three laches
square at the ends. Three years' sea
soning Is required for the best bats,
either In the log or billet. The'kiln
drylng process is rapid, but not con
sidered as good. The billets are placed
In an automatic lathe, which quickly
transforms the stick Into the graceful
form of the bat.
The bat Is then smoothed and polish
ed by being held ogalnrt a rapidly
moving horizontal belt which Is cover
ed with sand. It is then ready for its
coat of oil, varulph or paint, as the
cape may be.
Something; Like Joihnn.
A mountaineer of one of the back,
counties of North Carolina was ar
raigned with several others for illicit
distilling. "Defendant," asked tho
court, "what is your name?"
"Joshua," was the reply.
"Are you the man who made the sunt
stand still?"
Quick as a flash came the answer:
"No, sir ; am the man who made the
moonshine." Harper's Weekly,
The rich man and .the mule are
abused a great deal, but there contin
ues to be good demand fpr both.
OLD STOEY.
(D
Uy B0O-H0O!
KiNIGIT Off DIS
AFTERNOON. B0J5?
Mt GRANTODCJT
15 DLAD-
voo'-moi