Llly Marriage may be a failure, but
J am going to make some man prove It
to me. The New York Idea.
She (to fellow listener at muslcnie)
What do you think of his execution!
lie I'm In favor of it. Punch.
"Miss Smith has written a problem
novel, hasn't she?" "Yes." "What la
the problem?" "How to make It sell."
Life.
"Life Is so uncertain," she said. "I
know It," he replied. "Let's get mar
ried. One of us may die within u few
years." Chicago Record-Herald.
Wlggs Why do you always regard
him with suspicion?" Wnggs Well,
every time I see him bo lias a differ
ent umbrella. Philadelphia Record.
Teacher Miss Badger, what do you
understand by "the privileged classes?"
Cued The botany class. Tbey can go
out in the woods once In a while. Chi
cago Tribune.
Suitor I have the honor to ask for
your daughter's dowry. Irate Pa I
Jeg your pardon, sir! Suitor Excuse
me; of course I meant your daughter's
hand. Vie Pour Rlre.
"Marie, If James asks you to marry
him to-night, tell him to speak to me."
"And If he doesn't,, mamma?" "Tell
him I want to speak to him." Wom
an's Home Companion.
Nowlywed My wife only allows me
three hooks In the closet to hang my
wardrobe on. Oletlmer Don't worry.
Hefore you've been married long one
hook will be enough for all your ward
robe. Stray Stories.
"BlIegillH 811 V 8 that wIipii h iviMit tn
nchool he was one of the brightest boys'
In his class." "Yes," answered the
tsportlng man, "that's where so many
of us fall down getting out or the
class." Washington Star.
Mr. Wholesale My Jjoy, I hope you
nave something out of your weekly sal
ary of $3. Boy Yes, sir; I save ?1
a week. Mr. Wholesale Ah! I knew
I was paying you too much ! After this
I'll give you two! Boston Post.
"Papa says," remarked the heiress,
"that; you're' a more fortune buiiter."
"Well, now, my dear," replied the
shrewd fellow, "that's more or less true.
Your face Is your fortune, ami Hint's
what attracts me." Philadelphia Rec
ord. "Oo-oo my!" exclaimed little Tom
my, hearing a church organ for the first
time, "what's that?" "Sh!" whispered
his mother, "that's the organ." "(Jood
ness! It must be au awful big monkey
that goes with that" Philadelphia
Press.
Magistrate (to prisoner) What, you
here again? I hadn't seen you lately,
And hoped you were reformed, llow is
It that you have again gone back to
.your old ways? Prisoner Because I
am only Just out of, prison, sir. Bou
Viva ut.
"Deary me. John, here's Another nnnr
feller runned over by one o' these 'ere
autymobubbles!" "That alu't iiothlu',
mother. They do say as in Itooshla
thousands o' poor folks nre killed In
tho streets along o' this 'ere autocar
cy!" The Bystander.
Cynic (savogely) They say the fash
. loiiable mother of to-day recognizes her
baby only 'by looking at the nurse.
Fashionable Mother (unmoved) How
extraordinarily clever, when one
changes uurscs so often I I always tell
ours by the mall cart London Tld
Hits. "I took out life Insurance In order
to put something by for a rainy day."
"Yes," answered the cynical citizen
who has been following the life Insur
ance Investigation, "but you know how
little conscience some people have about
another uiau's umbrella." Washington
Star.
Kind Lady (to little boy with big
welling lu his cheek) Poor little
chap, he has evidently got a bad gum
boil. Here are two sous : docs your
tooth ache badly? Little Boy (remov
ing the "gumboil") Oh, no, ma'am: I
was Just sucking a big piece of taffy.
Nos Lolslrs. .
The young widow of an old husband
Inscribed the following words Uhmi her
dear departed's tomb: "To the mem
ory of Muthurlu Rezuquet who left
this vale of tears at tho age of 09
years, 11 month and 20 days, deeply
grieved at having to leave behind him
the most charming and faithful of
wives." Pelo Mele.
"Where are you off to In such a hur
ry?" "To tho doctor for my husband."
- vnais up wuu muw lie tells me
lie has got hepatitis, dyscp"la. rheu
matism, enteritis, gastritis, appendi
citis, uephrltU aud cerebro-spliml-men-
Ingltla," "Holy terrors! Where did he
got all that?" "Why. man Induced
III in to buy medical dictionary, nod
lie's Just begun readlug It" Brooklyn
CUueeo.
PvISK FUGITIVES FORGET THEER TROUBLES; LEAD GIDDY LIFE IN
PABIS.
m A 'Mr p
JL.
Whatever the plans of the New
York District Attorney, William Trav
ers Jerome, may be In reference to the
criminal prosecution of the central
figures lu .the great American Insur
ance scandal, it Is patent to all Paris,
writes a correspondent tn the French
capital, that no fear Is entertained in
the mind of James Huzen Hyde, former
vice president of the Equitable Life
Assurance Society, or Richard A. Mc
Curdy, who was ousted from the pry
Idency of ,the Mutual. For more than
u year now these two ostracized mill
ionaire votaries of high finance have
luxuriated In the distracting atmos
phere of Paris.
Hyde, who is really better known In
Paris than he was at any time In New
York, Is living au easy life. His most
serious effort at the present time Is to
become known as the king of the Paris
Latin quarter. To this end Hyde Is
spending his money lavishly, and the
wide circle of Bohemian painters and
litterateurs, which he has gathered
around him, regard him as their pa
tron saint.
Hyde lives In a beautiful and mam
moth mansion In Avenue Henri Martin.
In the spacious snlon of his beautiful
home Hyde gives regular entertain
ments, which ore the very ocme of epi
curean splendor. His favorite pastime
Is to entertain large parties of his
giddy friends upon automobile excur-
NEW SWIMMING GLOVE.
A swimming glove to aid man In hli
progress through the water Is a recent
Invention. It gives the swimmer tho
assistance the duck derives from his
webbed feet. Greater speed and a great
er distance covered, with less fatigue
than with the naked hands, are claimed
to be the advantages the wearer of this
glove will enjoy. It fits the hands
tightly and Is slipped on lu the ordinary
way. The webs are strong pieces of
cloth, running from little finger to
thumb. Every stroke of the swimmer Is
W EBBED Rl'BREB UITTE5S.
thus effective, the Increased area of the
surface that strikes the waiter sending
him forward with the Increasing speed
that a boat driven by a paddle takes,
Tho woes of the beginner In the aquatic
sport are lessened ; the pleasure of the
expert Is luereased. Technical World.
Every time a woman gives a party
he luvltea two or three that the really
wishes would decline.
sions in the south of France and else
where. By these anil other means Hyde
has at this time successively blotted
out, so far ns Paris is concerned, the
ostracism which followed his eonnee-
tion with the Insurance revelations. He
is the hero of the impecunious horde
of long-liulred youths of the boulevards.
Hyde participates fu'iy lu tho free and
easy life of the Latin quarter. At the
last artists' ball, Hyde made a big hit
Impersonating an Arabian gypsy.
Recently Hyde has shown a tendency
to re-enter aristocratic French society,
and among the fashionables of Paris
his princely wine cellar is exciting won
der and admiration.
Richard A. McCurdy's existence in
Paris has been quite the opposite of
Hyde's, though It is well intended to
blot from the memory of the former
Mutual president the disagreeable ex
periences of a year and a half ago.
McCurdy's life In Paris has amounted
almost to monastic retirement He Is
surrounded by an exclusive circle of
personal friends, aud he Is devoting
himself to simple diversions which car
ry with tham no distasteful memories.
He is never seen In the gay centers of
Paris, and he Is entirely unknown In
society. He reads no newspapers.
When an effort whs made to Interview
him he sent word that he would feel
keenly any further notoriety lu connec
tion with the Insurance scandal. At
this time It is learned from a personal
friend ofl McCurdy's that, while he is
attempting In every possible way to
eradicate memories of the scandal
which enmeshed him, he finds It diffi
cult to have any complete comfort lu
his life.
James W. Alexander, ousted presi
dent of the Equitable Life, who was a
third prominent figure In the Insur
ance scandals. Is on a trip around the
world with a party of friends.
SENTENCE TO PK.IS0N SHIP.
One Declared to Be Uannllr Enough
for Wornt of Sailor.
"The serving of one sentence ahonrd
a prison ship Is usually enough for the
worst of sailors," said L. H. Dunlavy,
who has Just concluded his term of
enlistment In the hospital corps of the
united States navy. He served as a
nurse for a time on board the Uuited
States naval prison ship Southery at
Portsmouth, N., II.
"They have no cells on the ship,"
Dunlavy said. "The prisoners are lock
ed at night In the forward aud after
berth decks. They are compelled to
work every day except Sunday In the
navy yanl. Sunday they have to at
tend religious services. They get rath
er to liking Sunday too.
"It gives them a chance to let out
their voices when the hymns are be
ing sung. Their working hours nre
from 6:30 to 11 o'clock In the morning
aud from 1 to 4 oeloek In the after
noon. That Isn't all they have to do.
They are required to atteud a school.
The common branches only are taught
The recitations are held at night. From
0 to 7 o'clock at night Is the ilniiv
study hour and they have to study too.
A marine guard of eighty men 'po
lice the ship and do sentry work ovei
the prisoners while they are at work
Ordinarily there are about 250 prison
ers on the shin. Very few escane. Oc
caslonally one tries to run by the sen
tries, but It's a big risk, for marines
carry rifles loaded with ball and have
orders to shoot any prisoner attempt
ing to get away." Kansas City Star.
If a man prefers chewing tobacco
to smoking, he always says chewing
isn't so Injurious to the health.
If any one gives you more than he
gets In return, rest assured It Is counterfeit
rtsr
Dongrh Ralner.
A heater especially Intended to raise
bread by means of the heat of a lamp
has been recently patented by a Wis
consin man. As
shown In the illus
tration, the casing
is of sheet metal,
the lower portion
having openings
for the admission
of air. The casing
Is bottomless. A
partition having nn
opening In the cen
ter divides the up-
MAKES BREAD RISE. per nm,
tions, a lamp being placed below this
opening when the heater is In use. Sup
ported above the opening Is a deflecting
cone, the point of the cone being directly
over the lamp. Near the top of the up
per flared section are a number of
holes. The sides of the bread pan are
flared, the edges of the pan neatly rest
ing aud fitting on the edge of the cas
ing. The supposition Is that the hot
air from the lamp rises and is deflected
by the cone, so that it readies the sides
of the bread pan and escapes through
the holes at the top, preventing excess
heat around the pan. The time saved
by the use of this heater will he in
stantly recognized.
Haahed Drown Potatoes.
There are two ways of nrenarlns
these. One method Is to hush them In
cream suuee and bake in the oven. The
favorite way, however, for breakfast is
to Don potatoes In their skins until
they are Just tender and no loneer. neel
them and when cold chop very fine, sea
soning to taste with salt and pepper.
rut a little butter In a frying pan, and
when hot put In the hashed potatoes.
packing them down smoothly; then
place on the range, when they will cook
slowly for fifteen or twenty minutes.
Do not stir them. When a nice brown
color on the bottom aud dry and floury
loosing on top, they are' done. Fold
them over carefully, like an omelet,
turn out on a hot plate and garnish
with parsley and grilled tomatoes.
Pear Parfalt.
The most delicious of all near des
serts Is a parfalt. Stir slowly Into the
well-beaten yolks of four eggs one cup-
rui or sirup drained from preserved
pears and cook tt over hot water until
as thick as custard. Remove from the
fire and beat until cool. Fold In light
ly one pint of cream which has been
wnippeu to a dry, stiff froth. Press
into a plain mold, cover tightly, pack
in Ice and salt, and let stand at lenat
three hours to ripen. Invert on a pret
ty glass or silver dish when tlm to
serve and garnish with a wreath of
whipped cream dotted with little
mounds of red currant Jelly.
Hickory Not Drop.
Mix one pound of chonned hid- nrv
. . " - j
nut meats, two cups of brown sugar.
two lamespoonruls or butter, three eggs
beaten separately and five tablespoons
of flour with oue teasnonn nf hai-ina
powder sifted In. Drop In half tea-
spoonruis (very . thinly) to about the
size of a dollar on a buttered pan and
bake In a . moderate oven. Add the
hickory nuts last.
Whole Wheat Bread.
One cup milk (lukewarm), 3 cups
whole wheat flour, 2 cups white flour, 1
teaspoonful salt, 1 tablespoonful sugar,
three-qpuarters tablespoonful molasses,
one-half cake yeast Beat half hour;
do not knead. Set to rise until It dou
bles In size; beat again and put In
greased tin; let rise until It doubles lu
size again; bake In moderate oven
three-quarters of an hour.
Clam Shortcake.
Sift three cups of flour, two teaspoons
of baking powder, one teasjioou of
sugar and one-half teaspoon of salt
Work in two tablespoous butter with
the tips of the Angers. Add enough
milk to make a soft dough. Bake In a
quick oven. Split, butter while, hot aud
serve with clam filling.
Vanilla Sanee,
Moisten two tablespoonfuls of corn
starch with a little water and add one
half cup sugar. Flace on tnr nn,i
add one pint boiling water, stirring
constantly. Remove from stove, and
when nearly cold add two well-beaten
eggs and two tablespoonfuls vanilla ex
tract. T SemoT. Splaahea of Palat.
The unsightly splashes of oil paint,
which are liable to come on window
panes during painting operations and
which are very difficult to n,.. .,
disappear when treated with black
soap; turpentlle oil and soda are not
sufficient
y o o o7
ML
BLIND MAN WILL BE SENATOB.
The Democrats of Oklahoma have se
lected as one of the United States Sen
ators to represeut Oklahoma, Thomas
P. Gore, of Lawton, who Is totally
blind. His nomination Is equal to an
election. This is the first time In the
history of . the United States that a
blind man has ever been sent to the
Senate, as Mr. Gore will be when state
hood Is accomplished under the present
proposed constitution.
Mr. Gore has been In politics all his
life, beginning as a page In the Mis
sissippi Senate when he was but 11
THOMAS P. OOBK.
years old. It was during that time that
he lost his eyesight by an accident
with an arrow gun. Three years pre
lvously he bad lost his left eye, a play
mate, In a moment of passion, striking
him with a stone.
Mr. Gore Is but 30 years of age. He
lives at Lawton, has a wife and four
children, and is a lawyer by profes
sion. His memory Is a wonder. When
his father prepared to send him to a
blind school, he refused to go,, saying
that schools for the blind did not fur
nish him the books and opportunity he
desired. So he went to the public
schools and college, getting through by
reason of his acute memory.
Watery Eyes. Relief may be obtain
ed by bathing the eyes several times a
day with a wash consisting of ten
grains of pure borax and two ounces
of camphor water.
Rheumatic Knee. Try salicylate of
soda, five drams ; tincture of nux vom
ica, three drams, and essence of pepsin
enough to make four ouuees. The dose
for an adult Is one teasDoonful every
two or three hours.
Superfluous Hair. A erowth of hair
Is annoying to a girl who wears short
sleeves. Depilatories are dangerous and
electrolysis, the only sure cure, is an
expensive treatment To minimize the
trouble dark hairs may be bleached.
wash the arms with a weak solution of
ammonia aud water. Then pour a lit
tle peroxide of hydrdgen In the water
and apply with a piece of linen. The
bleaching process will have to be re
peated from time to time, but neroxlde
Is harmless to the skin.
Nasal Catarrh. In the treatment of
this persistent and often Intractable dl
order, good results have been obtained
by the internal administration five or
six times each day of one-half teaspoon
ful doses In one-half ounce of water of
a mixture of one ounce of specific echin
acea and two ounces of stlllIngla.Tbe
latter Intensifies the action of echina
cea In Its Influence upon .the mueous
surfaces. Tincture of celsemlum.' two
drops every hour during the day, push
ed to a physiological point, will abort a
catarrhal cold. Three grains of salicy
late of strontium, added to each dose,
reinforces It If rheumatism Is suspected.
Neuralgia. If tho neuralgia Is In the
rrght side of the face the left band
should be placed In a basin of water as
hot as can be born; or If neuralgia Is
In the left side of the face, then the
right hand should be placed In the hot
water. It Is asserted that In this way
relief may be obtained In less than five
minutes. The two nerves which have
the greatest number of tactile endings
are the fifth and the medium nerve.
As the fibers of these two nerves cross
any Impulse conveyed to the left hand
will affect the rleht aid of tho face.
or If applied to the right hand will
anect the left aide of the face. This
is on account of the crossing of the
cords.
Other people's happiness gives a pes
simist a headache.