Wallowa Comity Chieftain
Pabfah n Tharaaav kr Ike
f NTtRPRlSC PRESS
ENTERPRISE. OREGON
Com let n worry together about the
Ice crop!
If bachelor are to be taxed bow can
they be expected to n enough man
ay to get married?
Mr. Gompera says Just a food men
a be bare been In jail. Sure enough!
John Banyan, not to apeak of other.
Queen LI1 thinks her claim against
tbe government will be paid. Anyway,
It won't bart her to (eel optimistic
boat It
European courts bold that the man
who owns land also owna tbe air over
1L This looks Ilk trouble for the
aeronauts.
It la reported that a German profes
sor has concussion of the brain. Prob
ably caused by a collision between two
trains of thought.
An Oklahoma woman has 301 ways
to cook corn. But mother will go on
toaklng them In hot water and apply
ing father's best rasor.
There Is no good and sufficient rea
son why you should mind your own
business If other people will pay yon
more for minding theirs.
More school children are made sick
by Improper eating than by anything
else. The cooks' onion should inspect
the food of all school children.
Mrs. William E. Annla asks: "Is
there no unwritten law for broken
hearted widow or fatherless chil
dren?" A very pertinent question.
Had a woman's club been in exist
ence in Mark Antony's time we should
not bare had to wait till now to learn
that he married Cleopatra for her
ooney.
China now owna Its telegraph system
-whleh makes ns wonder if it isn't
quicker to send the Chinese1 language
by freight than try to strain th wires
with it
An Eskimo, with a scientific educa
tion and the proper outfit. Is going
after the aorth pole In deadly earnest
The Eskimos believe that the pole
should be kept at home.
"All children are liar," said a Wis
consin professor. A well-known biblical
personage who made the same state
ment concerning all men admitted af
terward that be spoke in baste.
errry day or so. But tbe world obsti
nately refuees to be destroyed, and
when it comes to an end, only one
prophet will be entitled to gasp, "I
told you o V A year ago Vine. d
Thebes of France predicted war be
tween Japan and America In Novem
ber. 198. Instead, a little later. There
was the exchange of peaceful notes.
Nothing daunted, madame predicts ter
rible wars between next August and
February, 1910. So look out for a "red
year.
An interesting study of "College Fa.
trance Requirements In Theory and
Practice' which appeared In The In
dependent presented a long list of uni
versities and colleges at which a very
large percentage of the students wert
admitted with conditions. One of the
institutions, which took in more than
50 per cent on these terms, formerly
insisted that all conditions should be
worked off before tbe student could
enter the freshman class. Th appli
cants bad to pass examinations, ne
matter what school they came from. If
they took the examinations early in the
summer and failed In certain studies
they worked on thos studies through
th summer racatlon and tried again
at th opening of the college in the fall.
If they failed this time in whole or
In part they were kept out until they
could make good. With the system
changed, entering with conditions hat
become the role, and such a history
emphasizes, we think, soma of the
points that are made by John G. Bow
man, the writer of tbe article In The
Independent If the purpose of the
colleges is to Increase the student roll
it is no doubt successful, but the ques
tion naturally arises: "What signlfl
cane bare the requirements?" They
are, as Mr. Bowman says, not a real
minimum, "they are at best an oaten
slble minimum, any part of which it
liable In most colleges to temporary
su pension and occasionally to complete
abrogation." There la no standard
worthy of the name, but merely a pre
tense at a standard. Th requirements
look big in tbe catalogue, but the dis
cretion that is used takes all th ferror
out of them and reduces them to an
aijenrdltT. There is no real co-opera
tion between the secondary school and
the college, but an excellent opportu
nity is offered for passing along th
unfit If numbers a Ion Is th object
Mr. Bowman la right in saying that
"the college has embarked upon a dan
gerous course which threatens its sin
cerity and Its efficiency." On th other
hand, if th printed requirements are
unreasonable, "it la time not to make
exceptions that confus all standards
and demoralise students, but seriously
to face th problem of organising pre
paratory education on a basis that is
really vital and indispensable, and of
devising machinery capable of en
forcing It"
On of the preachers says Adam was
a loafer. This decision has probably
.been arrived at because we havs no
proof that Adam ever got up in the
morning and pat on the coffee pot for
Eve.
Mr. Rockefeller has given another
million to the University of Chicago.
At the rate of a million a year it will
take him twenty-eight years more to
give away the $29,000,000 saved by not
having to pay the fin assessed by
Judge Landls.
Massachusetts has a law to prevent
recklessness and speeding In automo
biles, which law may be rendered rldte
uIcm by its wrong punctuation, as it
forbids driving over roads "laid out
under the authority of the law reck
lesaly or while under the Influence of
liquor." Boston, in consequence, la in
rhetorical spasms.
An extraordinary demand has arisen
tn the eastern counties of England for
second' hand Bibles the older and dirt
ier the better. Copies which formerly
realised four pence are now readily
bought for half a crown. They are
being used to manufacture evidence of
age in the case of old-age pensions. A
woman who produced a Bible to prove
her age as 76 from an entry on the
flyleaf bad, unfortunately, omitted to
tear out the title page, which showed
that the Bible was printed in 1800.
In the advertising columns of the
newspapers are found the business
cards of countless seers and clairvoy
ants, who promise for a small sum to
rend the veil of the future and tell
their patrons what is going to happen
to them. That palmists, card readers
and clairvoyants are able to pay for
the advertisements which appear- In the
same place day after day Is evidence
that they find enough credulous persons
to keep the prediction business on a
paying basis. Their victims are beyond
reason, or they would reflect that the
forecaster of future events, such as
the condition of the stock market six
months ahead, would make more
money by using his knowledge for his
own benefit than by selling It for two
dollars. Besides the prophets who are
In tbe business for the profit there Is
In it, the world Is blessed with gen
erous philanthropic seers, who publish
free of charge predictions, always of
some disaster, aa great storms, earth
quake, wars, and the end of the world.
Sometimes an vent obligingly fails
out on somebody's prediction, and a
reputation la made. If ers In all
parts of the world keep on foreseeing
earthquakes every day or two, an
earthquake, when It cornea, will be like
ly to And a prophecy awaiting it Th
room is so taken up with predictions
that an event must alight on one of
tham. x proohet destroys to world
CHILD LOT SHOULD BE BIAUTU'UJL
By Sir Oliver Lodge.
The ultimate object of religious training
must be to encourage such ideas and habits
as shall result In a happy childhood and a
sound and useful life.
The first real gods of a child are bis pa
rents, however ungodllke they may be. And
hence arise that feeling of security and near
ness of protection snd law which Is one of
tbe luxuries of childhood, and, I may add.
one of the- responsibilities of parenthood. That nation
or colony which could Insure that Its children should
spend their short and vital early years among healthy,
happy surroundings suited to their time of life and
state of development and leading to a good, robust
serviceable manhood and womanhood that nation would
in a few generations stand out from amongst the rest
of the world as something slmost superhuman.
From my experience of the Innate goodness of un
spoiled humanity I nav an idea that If children could
be planted amidst favorable surrounding they would
nearly all flourish and grow beautiful as plants do
under right conditions.
- No fraction of the world or of tbe Individual can be
thoroughly healthy and happy while any member of It
la degraded and wretched.
BLUFF AJTD KOISE MODEBN WEAPONS.
By CL K. Chesterton.
On most political platforms. In most news
papers and magazines, I observe that there
ar at present only two ideas, either to avoid
controversy or to conduct it by mere bluff
and noise. Evasion and violence are the only
expedients. A man must be deaf to his op
ponents' arguments; be may be deaf and si
lent snd this Is called dignity; or he may
be deaf and noisy, and this Is called "slashing
journalism" But both these things are equally remote
from the fighting spirit which Involves an Interest In
the enemy's movements In order to parry or to pierce
them.
It Is part of that uncbivalrous and even nnmilltary
Idea of bullying, of using bombastic terrors In order to
avoid a conflict which is at this moment the highest tur
ret of the tall hypocrisies of Europe. Europe is full
of th Idea of bluff, the idea of cowing th human spir
it with a painted panorama of physical force. W se 11
in the huge armaments which we dare to accumulate,
but should hsrdly dare to use.
I do not like hovering and lingering threats of arma
ments nor do I like hovering and lingering threats of
riot If people want to have a revolution let them have
It and let It have the advantage of a revolution, that of
being drastic and decisive. But a mere parade of pos-
slble war seems merely a perpetual anarchy. Revolution
creates government but anarchy only creates more an
archy. SOCIETY "TEOFESSION" OF CEDHE.
By H. J. B. Montgomery.
Mtny penologists assert that the profession
slonal criminal Is a man whom it is hopeless
to reform. They say that he finds In crime
not only a livelihood, but exhilaration, sport,
fascination. He is a beast of prey, who must
be not only muzzled but caged In the inter
ests of society. I have no hesitation In stat
ing as the result of my experience that the
nMiimntlon which underlies the argument of
h lonniixrist la not only not correct but Is absolutely
fallacious. The criminal who Buds a fascination In
crime has no existence sbt in tbe Imagination of the
penologist The professional criminal has been msds
sucb by society. He Is a prison product in the first in
stance, and when he is released from prison society gives
him clearly to understand that his place for the future
is with his own class the criminal class.
Out of the light of my own experience I declare that
men. even criminals, are not so hopeless, so callous, so
Incorrigible, so devoid of human feelings as the penolo
gists would have us suppose. In every human being
there are principles of good and evil, and possibilities
of either being evolved. The easiest way, I suggest to
abolish the professional criminal is to ceas manufactur
ing him.
HIGHEST FUNCTION OF THE CHUBCH.
By Rev. A. H. Stephens.
The church must ever be the handmaid of
law enforcement and stand aggressively for
the suppression of vice and public immorality.
Th highest function of the church is to serv
the community in which It Is located. In Its
civic, social and religious life. It should feel
Its responsibility to present a higher type of
life than is found elsewhere, less Influenced
by human prejudice and human passion, freer
from compromising entanglements and questionable alli
ances, exhibiting th purest form of social circumspec
tion and political and commercial probity.
The community has a right to expect something bet
ter from the church than It finds in Itself higher Ideals
and more unselfish endesvor at their realization. In
these respects the church owes it to th community that
It shall not be disappointed, but that It shall experience
the' thrill, if not the surprise, of entire fulfillment Th
church must seek the co-operation and allegiance of the
contiguous populations, not for Its own good, but for th
good of those sought ever teaching the lesson by exam
ple that It Is more noble to serve than to be served.
THE GOLD nTDUSTEY.
Illaatratloa Which Vlvaa
Idea, f lis laatHltr I mntZ
An engle, a S10 gold piece, h II
about one Inch In diameter. Inuring '
glittering yellow ribbon of jo
pieces, lying edge to edge, beglnnln.
ban Francisco and extending east,
through the Sacramento Valley 0f c,
fornla. across the lofty Sierra Nerm,
mountains, spanning the Great Ami
can Desert In Nevada and Utah, ors
the prairies of Wyoming and Nebruu
across the green fields of Iowa and n
nots, over Indiana and Ohio and u1M
chusetU, half way to the BrltlRh ln.
Imagine this continuous string of
eagles eage 10 euge. wimout break
interruption, over mis vast stretcb
land and sea a distance which to
sumes at least eight dnys In the swift.
est express tram nna ocean steamers.
and you will be able to form some .
ceptlon of the amount of gold that hu
been producea in tne united Stater.
It requires some such Illustration m
this to grasp the immensity of thejoia
industry, to form some dennlte Idea of
the Importance and magnitude of tt
gold production of the North Amerlcn
continent
The profits from the gold indoitn
are mngnlflcent They are greater thu
In any other department of eommercUl
activity. The figures of the worlfi
production are enormous. In 1007 tk
output of the gold mines of the urti
amounted to nearly $500,000,000. Of this
vRst sum about one-half, or more thit
$200,000,000, was net profit No otlw
industry can make sucb a showing u
this. This gold was found in Ameriti,
In Mexico. In South Africa, In Auitnllt
and elsewhere.
This huge sum of profits, mow tan
$200,000,000. was distributed to Mom
of thousands of people.
BOKO 07 THE BT-ABD-BT.
BUYS HER A BOX OP CAHDY.
latea Loaf In Custom Bona.
By sending to a woman who Uvea In
West Fifteenth street a larze box of
chocolate bonbons to take the Dlace of
candy she had lost when it was passing
through the custom house on Its way
to her from Germany, Uncle Bam re
lievid himself of the suspicion of petty
thievery, the New York Press says. The
woman did not demand restitution.
When she discovered that half the
candy which her friends In Germany
hud rent her In a huge Christinas egg
had disappeared in transit she solemn
y sat down and wrote a letter to Col
lector of the Port Fowler.
"Your men hove eaten of the candj
which vs made abroad specially foi
me," she said. "The occurrence must
not happen again."
Her complaint was so straightfor
ward that It impressed the collector.
Usually peremptory demand Is made for
restitution when small loss is experi
enced on Imported goods. There was
nothing of that kind in the woman's
letter. She simply desired that the col
lector should know that her candy had
been eaten and that It should not occur
again.
"That letter sounds straight" the col
lector said. "I am unwilling that a
lady who has paid duty on candy sent
from abroad should be deprived of any
of It."
He summoned tbe men who had han
dled the candy package, which was val
ued at $10. There was no chocolate In
the corners of any of their mouths. The
collector exonerated them alL Finally
some on suggested that rather than
be regarded as petty thieves, the men
who handled the package make up a
fund and buy a box of candy to re
place that which had dlsarmeared. Thev
did it and the collector sent It to the
woman with the compliments and best
wishes of tbe men.
Th Dlattnetloa.
flchool Teacher Johnny, what is a
patriot? .
Johnny A man that tries to benefit
Us country.
School Teacher And what Is a poli
tician? Johnny A man that tries to have his
country benefit him. Judge.
Doat Wear 'Earn Straight Any More.
Thoy were ready to go out
"Is my hat on crooked T tbe asked.
Thos, owing to tbe new style of head
gear, a traditional phrase used by the
feminine sex ever since woman was
created, received a stunning blow.
Judge.
By and by a man gets tired of asking
for bis dally bread and Insists on oat.
lng pi and cake.
Life's a gamble and every man has
chance unless he's a Wall street lamb.
It seems so far to the happy day
When the clouds will leave the sky.
But 'tis sweet to hear, when the world
is gray,
Tha song of th By-and-By I
: i
The hills and rills they are shining
bright
And our cares like phantoms fly:
An echo sweet In tbe lonesome night
Is th song of the By-and-By!
It seems so far to th happy day,
But Its rest they'll not deny;
We bear what the angels sing and say
In the song of the By-and-By 1
Frank L. Stanton.
Claranca and the Code 1
Clarence had looked forward to the
two weeks of holiday time through all
the school months. But when Christ
mas had come, his brother, who was
the messenger for the firm of Walwlck
II Waldon, suddenly became ill. "He'll
be on bis feet in a week," the doctor
snld, but in the meantime the poor lad
was worrying about bis place in the
office.
"Can't I take your place?" asked
Clarence.
Thus It was arranged and for the
two days before New Year's Clarence
ran errands and did everything that
was asked of him. Just as tbe office
was being closed the night before New
Year's. Mr. Walwlck called him and
said that he expected to come down
town the next morning although tbe
office would be closed, and he wished
Clarence to be sure and get the mall
and place It on his desk and wait for
btm.
It was quite early when Clarence
found his way Inside tbe silent build
ing. He had brought his skates with
him, as there was to be a hockey game
later, aud there was to be the family
dinner and the usual good time on
New Year's afternoon. He carefully
put tbe mall on Mr. Walwlck's desk and
sat down to wait Tbe janitor came
and swept but Mr. Walwlck, did not
come. There was still plenty of time
before the game, but the clock bands
were slowly turning. Finally he
picked up a magazine and turned over
the pages. The hour when be should be
playing came.
Tbe game was on now, be knew.
Tbe office was getting chilly and be
walked around from room to room. He
looked at tbe clock. Tbe game must'
have been over for some time and they
would be expecting him for dinner.
Ha was getting cold and hungry.
8trange as It was, when be began to
give up hope tbe time seemed to go
faster. Finally he curled up on a couch
and went to sleep.
Dream after dream tumbled over
each other, and in tbe midst of a won
derful hockey game, where everybody
skated about eating hot goose and cran
berries, be beard a bell. He wondered
wbat it could be and before be could
ask he awoke with a start Almost at
bis ear tbe telephone bell was ringing.
He jumped and took down the re
ceiver. "Hello I" he shouted.
"Is this Walwlck & Waldon T
"Yes, this is Walwlck & Waldon's
office."
"Well, I hardly hoped to catch any
one. Take down this cablegram and
rush It through to Mr. Walwlck.
"'Calcutta. India, Jan. 2.
"'Spike sugar Hardly new candle.
"'Spiegel, Hocker & Bona'
"There, have you got that? All right
Repeat It All right Good-by."
Clarence rubbed his eyes. There was
the message written out, but what a
message! It did not mean anything and
it was dated a day ahead. He remem
bered hearing that Mr. Walwlck lived
in some hotel. He had seen the name
some place. Oh, yes, It was on the
magazines. There it was. The Albero.
Like a flash be ran downstairs and
Jumped on a street car.
In about twenty minutes he reached
the hotel, and as he stepped In tbe door
he saw Mr. Walwlck Just entering the
dining room. He rushed ud to him and
deal of money, and now I think that
would better take vou home in mv
lUtomoblle lust aa fast as T ran. Ynnr
motner will be worrying about you."
When they were seated in the hie
machine and were wrapped in by the
neavy robes, Mr. Walwlck suddenly
asked what the boy had thought by
tne peculiar message.
I thought it was verv fiinnv. hut
how could It be dated January 2, when
wis is Kew Year's T
"You will have to ask your school
teacher to explain why, but you see
the earth turns round the sun and it
Is the day after New Year's in India
now. Each of the queer words in the
message means a whole sentence when
you look them up In a little book
carry. We call It a code."
when they came to Clarence'
bouse, Mr. Walwlck went Infn
warm parlor and told the storv f hi.
mother. Then he took a piece of paper
and wrote something on It "What
ao you think that means?" he said
vaw heart wire Clarence Young
desk apple.
"I might tell you. sir. if i had the
code." said Clarence.
"Well, here Is the code book,
and your mother can look It up."
Ana tnis was what they read
looking up the words:
"Walwlck k Walden hereby promise
to give Clarence Young the best educa
tion possible at their expense." The
uousegeeper.
hello!" he shouted.
Mr. Walwlck looked at him In surprise
and then remembered bis face.
"Yes, wbat to it?"
"It's a message telephoned In. sir,"
and he gave over the slip of paper.
Mr. Walwlck looked It over anil
quickly took a book out of his pocket
went to tne notel office and wrote a
half a dozen telegrams.
That was a close shave." be said
half aloud, and then noticed Clarence
at bis side.
"How under the sun did you bap
pen to be at the officer
"You told me to wait, sir, until you
came."
Then be told the whole story, and
when be bad finished tbe bead of the
great firm of Walwlck A Waldon took
the messenger boy by the hand Just as
If be had been a grown man and said
"My lad, you've saved us a great
You
by
Beaat Fond of Tnh.u
We have all heard of how to tame a
Hon or tiger by steadily keeping the eye
flxed on him. According to an expert
animal trainer a more effective method
. o vijnt or cigarette, says the
Louis Post-Dispatch.
Nearly every wild beast that I
ever come across," said this man
iuuu or touacco m some shape or
St
have
"is
form
- - auntie or rorm
I made this discovery quite accident
Hilt- Ourt i. i . .
was
the
lay
any. une or tha vi.itn.. u.
- ."wwiq TV UU
smoking a cigar puffed some of
smoke into the lion's face as he
asleep In the cage.
"I expected to SPA tvanl a.A. ...
- & iui, out in-
stead of that the lion, after giving a
ui,m 01 sneezes, moved quietly up to
the bars and miKMi hi. .
uuk auimngiy,
as If asklns for n ko,m ,
--.wui uubc, j nave
tried the experiment on all sorts of
u..uu. a.uce and I have found
m mem enjoy thoroughly
Dig sniff of thnw.
V? 8PJadaktyu.!k-lng aao
"We had a benr hr. "
uj mac used
to rub his nose and back against the
asking
amok
ngau
bars of nis on aa in,t nt.
B rat
tO be Stroked vhanuo.. .
i- BUJ one mok-
""w " Mm. Antelopes
Mild Willi anot. a . .
i Buiianea with the
mere whiff. If y0U give them a cigar
, "--" win swallow it
eagerly and, what Is more, seem to suf-
ici uu unu tuwia irom their meal."
When the girls rave about
woen ne nrst comes to town,
months they want to et the
bun.
A matchless cigar may be lighted
some other manner.
man
three
dog on
in
Tramp Lady, I'm near pfrlthlnj
from exposure 1 Lady Are you a Con
gressman or a Senator? Town Topla
"Doesn't she ever stop talklngF "Oh,
yes, wben she is breaking In fteu
piece of gum." Washington (D. C)
Herald.
"Is that woman rich?" "Rich? I
should soy so ! Why, she can even i!-
ford to be a kleptomaniac." Baltlmon
American.
"She's not handsome. Is she?" "Lori,
no I Say, If there was a tax on tat
ty, she'd be entitled to a pensloo.'
Cleveland Leader.
"The first time he went out in U
new auto he ran across a few frienia,
and " "Did they leave fanilllei!-
Baltlmore American.
"Now, then, look pleasant P'"
Not at all ; this is to send to my tli
at the seaahore. She would come bom
at once !" Fllegende Blatter.
"Was your father college breoT
"Yes, but we never mentioned It Th
college he went tb bad a rotten foot
ball team." Chicago Record-llenu-
She Are you good nt guessing wom
en's ages? He You are not OTer
She How do you know? He-
woman over 25 ever asks that QU
tlon.
John I've lust lost a thousand 4
lars. Julia Well, it is better that 1,
should have happened to you than tt
some poor beggar on the street H.
Club Fellow.
"It takes a heaD o' deternilnitlon
son," said Uncle Eben, "to bar It'
own way In dis life, an' a heap
brains to know what to do wlf It
you gits it." Washington Star.
Harlemlte If you wrote yesterdtf
morning, I don't see why I odIv f!
your note this evening. Downtown
1 do. I affixed a special deliter!
stamp to the letter. New York Tim
"Ponsoubr Is the laziest man I '"I
saw." "What's the matter now?" "Wj
nun in a Dtueiy razor iuui u" '
erated by a storace battery concea
In the handle." Birmingham Age-He-I
aid.
Mrs. Subbubs (engaging cook)
you any male friends? 1 can't hawt1?
men hxiniriniT around the nlnce. M4
Snowball None, 'cent . niab bo11'
an' be don't couie aroun' 'cept on P";
day. Philadelphia Record.
Terrible Child Will you pleat pWj
something for me on the violin.
Jones? Jones But I don't know bo
Bobby. T. C Oh. yes, you do, j
Jones, I heard mamma say you
second fiddle to Mrs. Jones. I
Mrs. OToole Shure, 'tis bad b
ners yer goat has, Mrs. O'FIU i
found him In me cnblwge paten ,
marnln'. Mrs. Fllun Shure, thin.
not bad manners that do bother
darlln'. 01 call It blame poor ta )
Fluffy Young Thing I'd like to f
pay the express on this .package- ,
press Company's Agent WBati i
value? Fluffy Young Thing Xoi
sir. It's a bundle of letters. ' ,
sending them buck to hiui. CW,
Tribune. J
Caller (on crutches and with a l
age over one eye) I bnvexcome, i
make application for the amooni &
on my accident Insurance policy. I
down a long flight of stairs the
evening and sustained damage ,
will disable me for a month to
Manager of Company Young ny
have taken the trouble to lnTe,tt
your case, and I find you are not
titled to anything. It could j
called an accident. You certain" - i
the young lady's father was at nw
Btray Stories.