The daily morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1883-1899, September 15, 1895, Image 6

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Soptombcr trade needn't
blush for its rales here up to
date. It was good, indeed, all
last week and tho week before.
Are we selling Fall-weight
underclothing now fur nun?
We are, nnd selling them
lively, too.
These boys' corduroy knee
pants at 83c are melting away
i School Gaps
I ' 2oc each S
1 I
Children's I
X ' ' I
g ' Umbrellas jk
I - 5oc I
I filbert Danbar
Local weather for twenty-four hour
ending at 6 p. tn. yesterday, furnished
by the United States Department of As-
rlculture, weather bureau.
..Maximum temperature, ttl degrees.
Minimum temperature, DO degrees.
Precipitation, .36 Inch.
Total precipitation from September 1st
DKi, to date, 1.44 lncnes.
Uellclency ot preclpltalton from Sep'
tember 1st, 18!5, to date, .C4 Inch.
Get your milk of BelUi & WHson.
8bow oases for sa'.o at Oregon Trading
Fre&h candles every tiour at the Bon-
TUB SAME I'LACE-418 12th street Is
the placa to buy fresh nan every aay.
Meany Is the leading tailor, and pays
the highest cash price for fur skins.
The Antorlun will hereafter be found
on sale ml McOudre'B Hotel at Seaside,
Our milk Is guaranteed strictly pure
and fresh from the cow dally. Reltli
& Wilson.
The coolest and best glass of bner In
town can be bought at the U&mbrinu
saloon, 12th and Commercial street.
" For a. fine line of fresh candles and
frulitM or a Blasa of delicious soda, go to
the "Bontoonnlere," 436 Commercial street,
WAH BINO 4 CO. Merchant tailors,
626 Commercial street, cheaper than yeu
' can buy ready made. New stock com
plete. Water melons! Water melonsl Water
melonsl A carload received yesterday
will be sold cheap today at Pat Law'.er's,
674 Commercial.
T.-nde with Foard ft Stokes Co., deal
ers It Groceries Hardware, Crockery,
provisions, flour, fruit and vegetables
They will surely please you.
The Entes-Craln Drug Co. have a win
dow full of flno toolh brushesv that they
are selling Tor 10 cents each, and give a
samplo bottle of Rosofoiun with each
ibruffli. ,
Uunirer is a very disagreeable sensu
tlon. There .s place In this town where
v.iii nan sutisfv (Is demands with In
cleanest and best 35 cant meal you ever
He. That place 1 Joe Te-rp's.
No better milk was ever brought to
Astoria than 1 furnlnhed for five conU
a quart by Relth A Wilson, and de
livered hi it oloan and tightly closed
glass bottle at your door every morn
ing. -'
Just 'arrived at Copoland Thprsen's,
a nice line of nlffh grade footwear for
'.adles. .all width from A to IuK. NO
trouble to show goods, and satisfaction
guaranteed to every purchaser. Call and
examine them.
What' tarings people back to the Asto
ria Wood Yard after they have sounded
the possibilities everywhere els-T May
be If one thing.. and May be It's another.
Hut the fact rcimilns-back they come.
And of course the Astoria Wood Yard Is
proud of It.
Purest of wines, liquors and clgira
elegant free lunch all the daily paper,
at. the Gambrlnus, lliih and Commercial.
To our Lady-Customers:
, There are too many places In this city
selling wraps and Jackets. Many of the
garments sold here are shop worn, and
eome out of retail stores In other cities
on account of being stale, but are sold
here for the very latest. For the past
10 years I have been selling Jackets and
wraps of the first grades at much lower
prices than any house In Portland, ami
have never yet deceived any customer In
order to make sale. Considering that
the city Is overcrowded with this par
ticular line ot goods I shall from this
day close out all jackets and wraps at
wholesale prlees.
491 Bond Street.
Astoria, Sept. 11, IK.
Go to Dr. Howard, the pilnless den
tist. 508 Commercial street, for tine den
tal work of every class. He challenges
an equal. Price reasonable. Satisfaction
A well-furnished aul'e of roons, with
Use of parlor, and, It desired, good
table board, at reasonable rates, 405 Du
ane street, corner at Ninth. '
A twister In twlsttng
May twist him m. twist.
For In twisting a twist
Thre twlets imtke a twist;
Hut If one of the twls!s
l r.twi!s fronf the twist, .
t'ntwlst the twist.
That l. when li's twisted with any
sher tl
Contractors held a session yesterday.
Prof. Ueggs and the new opera house.
W. R. Ford, of Chicago, Is at the Oc
J. West, of Cathlamct, Ih at the l'urker
Fine GravenHtlen apples at Rom, lllg-
plna & Co.
Red lights mark the- ditches on Frank
lin Avenue.
E. D. McKee end wife, of Portland,
are visiting In Astoria.
R. 8. Alexander, of San Francisco,
registered at the Occident yesterday.
See WcA'don & McDonnell, for bar
gains In Jackets and capes. Uond street.
Chas. Wood, of fikamokawa, was In
town yesterday and stopped at the Par
Captains K. S. Kdwards and F. C. Mc
Permott, of Portland, are at the Orel
dent. Walter C. Smith, of Portland, the rail
road contractor, was a visitor In Astoria
yesterday. "
The A. O. V. IW. held Its regular meet
ing last night at which routine business
was transacted.
Wm. Dixon, of Chinook Heaeh, Wash.,
was 1n the city yesterday, a guest- of
the Parker House. ' ' ' j
There was aided to the circuit court j
docket yesterday the suit of Thomson vs. I
W. iKnyart, on appeal.
C. F. Lester, superintendent of the Sea- i
hor railroad, was In town yesterd iy i
on a short business trip. I
The matter of a memorial for the battle j
ship Oregon will again be taken up by
the school children this term, I
J. H. Vaughn, Thos. Foas, John Heldt
and Wm. Hoeck, of Gray's River, were
tn town yesterduy purchasing supplies.
The "Every Monday club" will meet
1 in the basement of the Presbyterian
church on Monday afternoon at 2 o'clock.
Mr. J. V. Marlen, bookkeeper for Ross,
Higglns & Co.. returned yesterday from
Seaislde, where .ho spent a mo3t enjoyable i
A private school for children Will tie
started labout tho middle of this month.
For particulars apply to Mies Polly Mc
Kean, 4ti5 11th street.
Johan Heitla and Mattle Werkkla, na
tives of 'Russia, yesterday In tho county
clerk's oflice declared th"lr Intention of
becoming citizen of the United States.
Special sale of mackintoshes for four
days. Seo MeAllen & McDonnell, Uond
C. II. Cooper's second shipment of Into
styles of ladles' Jackets and capes Is Just
received, and the ladies of Astoria are
cordially Invited to call and examine
McDonald, the tailor, was yesterday
moving his store to the southwest corner
of Commercial and 121 h streets, where hu
has a good corner and will have a neat
'Robert Crawford, of Nehale.n, wns In
the cltv vesterdnv. and brought In a
large lot of exceptionally line butter, I
which was picked up very rapidly by tho
merchants. ' !
Miss Mason returned to tho city yes
terday aftir a pleasant holiday anion
friends In other cities. Sh3 will probably
begin her kindergarten classes again in
two weeks.
Thomas Ilrlce and Edwin Corts lift last
'.list night for Portland and from there
will nhike a trip through the Willamette
valley on their wheels anil will lie gone
about two weeks.
The ervicra In the First M. 10. Church
will be at 7:1)0 p. m. and not at 7 p. in.,
us stated in tho notice of yesterday and
the young people's meeting will be at
6:110 p. in. and not at 6, ns per nolle.
Hid will be received tinlil September
15th, lSll'i, fu; the removal of !!ik1 yards
more or lesH of excavate! earih. Right
reserved to reject any or all bids. For
particulars address l'acllie Paving Co.
See McAllen A uMc'Donml! for New
High novelties hi 1 'ress Goods. Parker's
old store.
One of tho horses attached to the Por
ker House bus had one of Its Vs al
most broken by stepping through a rol
Ifii plank In the street opposite. th ti,
R. N. dock. That a damage suit did
not reoult Is no fault of the city.
L. It. deeley and E. W. Crelith'on, of
the C. H. & P. S. Nav. Co., canm lown
from Portland yesterday morning with a
party of vstrangers, all of whom went
to the Jetty In tho morning and to Tongue
Point In the afternoon, reurnlng to Port
land In the evening
The Troy Laundry Co. has made ar
rangements with A, J. Mqulres to act as
Its agent for Astoria. This company Is
noted for high guide work and prompt
delivery. . Mending and repairing free.
Hundles called for and delivered, oillee
474 Commercial street.
IVmles wishing photos enlarged In
craven, water color, or India Ink wo'ild
do well to call on W. T. Snodgrsss be
fore giving the work to others. Th work
of Mr. Smidgnias In this line is very line
an his sjtn: will show. Studio (E!U
Commercial street. ' I
In the chur.-h notices of the First M. K,
church todav It will be observed mat
this Is Dr. Hmihong'a last Sabbath for
this conference year: nut ir -name
Rumor" is to be believed. Dr. u. ha re
ceived "A call' t ' largo cnuroh further
east," and It may be his iat sauoatn in
Clerk Ferguson ot the school board
furnls.les tho following comparative state
ment of the attendance In the
hchoola for the llrst week of Mia term
this and lust year: McOlure'a school
this year, ,478, last year, 426; Adair's, this
sr. El. ISM, 17r.; Shlvely , 21-6 this year,
last year, 213; John Day' and Walluskl,
S3; total this year, WIS, as aj.Unst K7S
pupils lut year.
The Red Front nhoe shop on Third
sireet eppeskr Cooper's store is a neat
little outnt and la drawing much atten
tion The social proprietor, Mr. Fred O.
Walters, U again ready to serve his old
rii.i'an'rs at well as new ones. In his
new location, he siys, If yen want an
ci-y shoe, m lasting lioc and a stylish '
s ioe 1 1 you have to do Is to come and
leave yaur measure, and at the
time get your o'.J ahoes saved.
For spevla! bargains In all. lines of dry
goods for four days, ee McAllen A Mc
Donnell, Uond strvet. ' "
J i Ties V. Elder, Pacific eot agent for
Clark's O. N. T. pocl cotton and Mar.
nnl.'s twine, with headquarter at 8n
Francisco, la tn this city on his annual
vllt of Inspection unwhy northwfwern
ncles. Htf rxpreiw.d himself y,i. r.l .
e being greatly pleased with the selec
tion of 'MantaaH's twine by the wlnn.r
of the big fish boat race at th reiatu,
and dWoncd the fact to the head,
cfllce. .Mr, Elde. leaves today for Port
land. He will visit the Sound oltles be
fore returning home.
Excd:ent Lecture Delivered by an
Officer Lrnt Night.
Mr. James Weston, of the Salvation
Army, epoko at length to a crowded
home last night In Rcscuo Hull on the
work and alms of the Salvation Army.
He held his audience closely attentive
for over an hour and his address was
most excellent throughout. Some of the
intiaHcs were especially Interesting. Mr.
Weston explained how the work of the
Army was divided Into four parts field
work, rescue work, slum work, and social
work, and In connection with the latter
branch of the warfare stated that dur
ing last winter the Army branch In Sc
orn,, wwt n-lven 13.800 free meals, 10,100
! free beds, and 9.000 free baths.
His description of the slum work in
. large cities, the constant attendance on
! the sick, the Tabor of keeping clean bed
! ridden people, supporting and lightening
' the lives of the wives and children, ot
i drunkard.", and the general lifting up
I of the lowest types of humanity was
I full of pathos and many people In the
audience were deeply affected1 by the
I plain and uncolored review of the every
I day life of an olllccr engaged In that
j field. The rescue work, which embraces
the salvation of fallen women, was
spoken of and described at length, In
1 tertnersed with many .interesting anec-
dots" of wonderful conversions and tri
umphs over difficulties of every descrip
tion. Thirteen years ago there were
In the Cnlted Slates 5 corps and U offi
cers. "Today," continued the speaker,
"Goil 'blesses our work through 555 corps.
over 2,000 ofllcers, and a million men and
women. We arc saving 3,000 fallen women
pverv veir In our rescue homea. JWe are
i v..rv Hhv In the United States
2r..(KiO homeless men. Our gospel Is
r.reachcd In 29 different languages and
in the past year 1,250,000 people have at
tended our services on the Pacific coast
alone. And the last year's work In. the
United States has cost us altogether
G,(X), not as much as many preachers
receive individually in big cities for
i ear's labor. Our officers on the aver
ae get $2.07 every week, out of which
they feed, clothe and board themselves.
"We are bringing the world to the feet
of CJod," concluded Air. Weston, "and
who can say that our mission Is not tho
most holy crusade ever waged among the
sons of men?
Fisher's Opera House Packed to Over
The cloning entertainment last night
of the Racon Stqck company at Fisher's
was given to a packed house and the
Justly celebrated company acquitted
themselves in a perfect manner. The play
was the "Estate of Hannibal Howe" and
Is a representation of th9 serious sldo
of the work of the Salvation Army. Com.
fdy and pathos are combined and Mr.
Haeon was In his clement, while Mr,
'Webster In the leading character, and
Ed 'Ilurgess In the comedy part were not
only equal to the requirements of the
parts, but were most enthusiastically
received by the irgo audience. "How
muny kinds of law arc there?" was a
question that was never answered. The
entire play Is a tory from life, replete
with truthful Incidents. Tlv ladhis of the
company, one and all, lll.ed their roles
perfectly and captivated the audience
with their winning ways and -womanly
Astoria will always welcome tho Bacon.!
and hope that they will soon come again.
Prof. Heggs Is to be congratulated upon
tho most successful opening of the new
opera house und
the businesslike and
pleasing manner in which the whole en
gagement was handled. It goes without
saving that whatever entertainment lie
brings here will be tlrst class In ev?ry
particular. Astoria has long needed' Just
sucli enterprise. Mr. Heggs l now In
ccne.'ponilence with Hragg & Muller for
th.' Grand Star course, and If proper sup
pert can be had he will close the con
tract for what will prove a series of
Fplt ndld entertainments.
In all justice Mr. .1. F. Cordray, the
manager of the Hacon company, and the
well known theatrical man of Portland,
must not be forgotten, for without ihls
nerve ami enterprise Astoria would not
have had the week's entertainment. Mr.
Cordray brought Ills own scenery from
his Portland house and spared no expense
or p litis to make the opening of the new
hou-e n success In every Gen
ial and open hearted, he wins frl.'nds
everywhere and will be welcomed when
he returns' with another entertainment.
We have choice property In Van Du
sen's, A-lderbrook, Adair's, Shlvely's, Mc
Clure's, Taylor's, New Astoria. Warren
Ion, and Astoria Addition to Warrentou
for dale. Also money to loan In sums of
$-i0 to $3,000 on good real estate, security.
The following deeds were filed for rec
ord ycstenlty:
William Edgar and wife to John W.
Williams, 4Sxl93 feet block 22 liv
Hustler ft Aiken's addition $500
G.'orgn 11.': .and wife to William .
I. arson, lots II and 4 and .a fraction'
of lot 2. block 4, second addition to ' Grove 250
United Slales to Tlios. It. Itldwell,
N1V U sec. 35, T 7 N., U. 9 west,
1141 acres
United '."tlales to Peter W. Coleman,
S'.j SE. t, and S U, SV. eec. 15, T.
II N., It. ! west. lt!0 acres
J is. V. Welch and wife to Ilertha. R.
Welch, lot 10, block 2.1, Shlvely's ad
dition F. A. Henry to O. P. ijulntreil, lot 3,
block 3, West Astoria 75
J. H. Morris to Lot Gllmore. N. Vj of
SW. of SW. i., sec. IS, T. 7 N., R.
9 W IS7
of SW. i, of SW. I, sec. IS. T. 7N.
J. 11. 'Morris to Frank S. Dow, S. 'u
R. W IS?
C. R. Thomson, executor, to Ellajt
Williamson. S. 54 feet In depth of
tot 7, 'block 38, McClure's addi
Must bo sold; 85 acres land
in pee. 2, T. 7:, K. 10. Price,
$300. For particulars inquire
179 11th street.
The open air exhibition ad
vertised tor Saturday and Sun
day, the 7th and 8th, by the
Hell tiros., could not take place
n ., nf nn oppi,!, n
0n atC UIU Ul 1111 UttHieUI lO
"ameithfi roDo.- JJut weather
- j f I
milting, they will positively
appear thi Saturday rnd Sun
day eve at p ni. chare.
Pon't fail to se? them
ROYAL Djiking Powder
kss'lbeca" swarded fc.'jj.'rwf t
honors at every world's fair
where exhibited.
Some Extracts Reprinted From
Astoria Daily "Bladder."
How the "Bladder" Jealously Guard
ed the Cause of Truth, Hu
manity and .lust ice.
Whllo raiding a gambling house one
night last week the police came across
a file of la publication termed the "As
toria Dally 'Bladder," which was prompt
ly contlucated. Through the kindness of
the authorities the Astorlan will be en
abled from time to tlmo to publish ex
tracts from this "newspaper." The fol
lowing paragraphs will serve to some
extent to give people an Idea of a Btyle
of Journalism that flourished In Astoria
before the coming of the railroad:
(Selection No. 4.)
The Bladder' political campaign Is now
on and shisters will please take not' of
same. We are going to run a citizen's
ticket again this year, which the noble
success of our scheme 2 years, ago beck
on us on to more victories. The Demo
crats, outside of two or three soreheads
Is organized In there might, and the citi
zens ticket thla year is going to play
hokey once more. Old Bill Stypher has
come Into the fold. At first he was leary
but we showed him how Republicans
couW vote the citizens ticket without
hurting thelrselves and he Is one of our
host. If the boys will only hoop her up
and get about 200 more republicans roped
In we can make the citizens gag go
again. And why not? By their fruit ye
shall recognize them land this two years
been the fattest In tho history of the
The high- collar dudes who ga to the
theatro to o'gel and disconcert the lady
actors have got to quit. A theatre is a
place of recreation and not a flirting
place. Go easy boys we are onto you.
Tho hogwash in the morning sheet abou:
purity and morals makes us sick.
Old Lady Garnett of Skamoshwa3h has
pungled up at last. We didn't want to
expose her before the world, and know
ing we had" go onto some things, like the
sensible lady she is, she came around and
deeded us thirty acres, though not the
best land we could wish. This is no
blackmail sheet but when one gots onto
certain matters he should be reeom
penced for his celerity.
The Bladder is now preparing to put
In the markets an addition to Skamosh
wosh bought by us at great expense. It
will be subdlvisioned into good sized lots
and we guarantee the proper title to the
land which Is in no wild cat addition
but a good' and true Investment. With
each lot the purchaser enn get a share
of stock In our paper, alono worth the
price charged which Is rive dollars for
lnsldts andl ten for corners. i
At l'at the amateur rag is to be done
up, and It Is time say we. Gentlemen j
v, ho have had all a lifetime's experience
on the best papers in this continent has
came and will start ai-new morning daily
Immediately. They will have no compe
tition. The measley rag on the corner
Is on Its last legs and even now Is rotten
to tho coar. They will at once start
a live newspaper and If they want the
Bladder's help we will loan them our
route 'boy for two or three months anu
put them up to some things besides that
will make the amateur rag's head swim.
Their is a few tricks of the trade such
as clipping out faker telegraph and such
like which we flatter ourselves wo aro up
to, and can give our friends a few solid
bints hbout tho came. Success to you
boy.9, and may you kill the (liny monop
oly sheet In short order.
Thero Is a lady in destitute circum
stance In this town and It has come
to our ears that she is In a state border
ing on penurlousness. She lias
children, and all ixro starving. Her name
withheld for obvloti.s reasons, not wishing
to let our right hand know what our left
hand doeth and there la no need to pub
lish her mime for the sting of poverty
to point Its linger at her. The Bladder
hu'S be-n much moved by this case, and
our collectors will visit you in the next
few days for subscriptions for this worthy
object. Cash ' only, or certified checks,
made out to tho Bladder edkjr, Is
In order. We will attend to the rest,
such as provisions 'buying tiring &o. We
have ran this charitable kind of tiling
two or three times before and Its has
been always a success beyond all expect
ations. Get out your pocket books boys
and give without stint. The lady will
bless you for your kind hearts.
If people think that we are the only
ones who have got It In for Hammond
they are slipped up. There Is others with
more power and ability thin we, such
powers gained by reason of his previous
intimacy with the man who can roast the
liver out of him, and as can be seen by
a glance at our editorial columns our
frlond Is getting It hot.
The low lived Bladder thief has got
In his work again but was caught In
the net. Last Wednesday he approached
a widow's stoop as the evening dusk was
setting In and rtole up a copy of the
Bladder. The widow seen him through
the window and f.iys, "O sir, don't de
prive me of that, It Is a necessity to me
unj mine,, and take anything else but
leave me that." And we are creditably
Informed that the black hearted scoundrel
laughed In her face and that he answered
by putting the Bladder in his Jeans and
feloniously making off with It. But the
reckoning is at hand for ail such dirty
work. We -vllf donate the agent ot
the dirty morning rag a copy of the Blad
der, but It ye are men don't seal it from
The following attribute lo ourilves is
received: ,
Long may the Bladder wave
And shvd its folds ;rtong the sky
And may I be there to peruse
Till I go to my long last home on high.
Such paper Is the bulwark
Of our constant tears and deep care
And It will surely ' -
Ever have my sincere prayers.
Yours truly,
We have completed arrangement for a
new Bladder structure In a year or two.
the vresent overflowing fur want of room
and having to transact the bulk of our
business on the street Inlde i years we
bfg to announce a elitlis ctory stone
foundation truo(ure. known as liie Blad
der Structure, and In the latest style ot
the building art. It I probable our edi
torial staff win be on the fifth floor. The
telephone numbers has not yet been de
cided on but we will let our clients know
later .bout this matter. Tlie stone used
will probably 4e brlks with Iron trim
mings. ' ' . '
r-Vaftt on our surgestiojij a.J a
give out several Jays b-f l a T" tlwre
"w a, eclipse T'the moon !a$ "T'Vi'.')f
night. It was. not muclt discerned as the
cloud Interfered, and therefor the publie
missed an astronomic, sight that I w
Inspiring thing, to say the least to see
the orb gradually swallowed up by a
black substance as If it was totally de
molished for a time.
This great mogul, thia Punjamdrum ot
Montana, cut us In the street last week.
Sal Ho! Maybe he thought we couldn't
get back at him but I am not the man
to take an Insult and swallow It whole.
We are tunning this Fheet and propose
to make It a power in the land. We
hear that people think we are going a
bit rough on the county by kicking at
the 'Pamjamdram. In the language ot
Vanderbllt "The county be damned" say
we. No man is going to-assault us and
take us for chicken hearted without a
come back. See: ' '
We hereby pledge to give J60 gold coin
to any man who will start a morning
paper to wipe out tho amateur rag, and
our moral assistance besides the shekels.
The Bladder can live without the rail
road. The Bladder bas bten In an exist
ing state for several month and Is still
hear and all friends of the Bladder whose
naime is legions hopes wo will still keep
the Bladder alive to do battle in the
front van of the fight for the working
man, wlch Is and ever will be the Blad
der's friend.
Thla paper now prints more copies than
all the other rags put together. We no
tice that our wager of ten thousand dol
lars a week ago still lies undisturbed In
our safe. Our new linotype presses Is
now on the way and will be here soon.
Its Journey across the continent ha been
haled with satisfaction as evidence of our
progress. The work of bringing it along
M slow, natural enough, as such kinds of
freight has tobe handled with great care
to save a breakage which would cost
the railroads a pretty penny, but the ma
chines will certainly bo here In time to
go Into our new structure which Is the
ntxt thin? on the cards.
While not wishing to throw out any
hints or Insinuations we- would like to
ask where Mr. Water Commissioner got
Ms new buggy what we seen him out
driving with last Sunday, and likewise
the costly span of horses which never
come from no legitimate earnings ot
the aforesaid man as I am prepared to
prove. It Is a pity that this ring keeps
Its laborer on the water works down to
a measley $1.7T a dny and can live In
the laps of luxury Itself.
We got two compos yesterday to take
the jobs of the striking union rats who
want to eat a man out of earth and
home. The new hands are live boys who
considers 15 cents a thousand decent
wases, which It is.
I If a certain man we can name proposes
I to run for office we beg to Inform that
j he has not yet fixed things up satisfac
tory with tis, and If he Is willing to do
It, very well and good, and If not he
will hear something drop. We desire
to say that that sub roso biz about his
wifes reipected (?) (?) family has came
to our ears. A word to the wire is sufli
cient. ...
We always knew that the runner of the
morning sheet was thin skinned but to
let bis own scrubs break his nose passes
our apprehension. They are playing h
with hla salmon business and he don't
say a word. We would like to see any
hired man of mine rub me and my pri
vate schemes up thi wrong way. He
would get ilred out onto the cold world
so quick It would make his hair stand
on end like quills upon the fretful per
kerpine ...
Enter Ramrod "What ho: where Is the
dog that didn't get a Bladder toninht?"
Paper Thief "My noble master hit me
nt, I will do better soon. I have got
to wait till dark before I can steal one."
Ramrod "Well, dog, see that It is done.
I ain't seen no Bladder for three weeks.
Has there been any roasts on me lately?"
Kangeroo "Where can I borrow it dol
lar?" No. 0 Hat "I don't know, the town Is
busted, and I have bid to send to Mis
souri fur a plate of beans."
, Ramrod "What ho." .
No. 5 hat "None of us hive a d
Ramrod "What ho."
Curtain, ralmon cans and gin battles
In the corner N". H. This thing will be
continued worse and more of it next
week. It Is burning t!ie hare off the devils
on the amateur rag. and killing them sa
that they are consternated to death.)
The high murky muck that run3 the
big schoolliouse from cellar to basement
is stuck on himself. He aint got the
least edducation and cant neither red
write or spell In a grammatic manner.
How long 0 lord how long will thia moeui
be kept in power. The public Is getting
sick of his tantrums and not supplying
the Bladder with Information desired.
We have several thousand dollars worth
of presence stowed away In our ofll?o
not knowing what children to present
them too, and this graven image which
Is not similar to anything in the waters
above nor the heavens beneath- refuses
to t'how up the markings of his pupils.
We too was going to agitate this fall
fishing businers which Is a dlsgTace as
all enndied and fair men agree, but the
morning rag by bribing one of our offl
c'als and getting him .drunk stole our
thunder and lightnings on the subject
aforesaid, and sneaked In ahead of us.
Well, that settles It. The fall fishing
Is all O. K. And though we have a few
nutes ourielves on the lepereous Chinese
In the canneries &c, we prefer In the
present case to hold them In obeyance
over the canner's heads, and will not
ti ivel the eam-i road with the morn
ing aheet on no subject whatsoever. In
a 'few wo will Issue regular salmon re
ports There will be untainted a we
are not connected, with 110 salmon can
nery, God save the mark that we should
The Rev. Jones cam around yesterday
forenoon and shook us by the hand In
his usual cordial manner commending
our moral tones, and urging us to note
Us rermon, which we done, be
lievlng In supporting the priestcraft to a
certain length. The reverant subscribed
for fourteen cople3. and remarked about
bring c.s u advt for a Sunday school
ixcurslon in the near future. Don't for
get brother. Preachers is all very good
In their place, say we, but dont forget
that the Bladder cant live on wind, gents.
To our friends and the general public:
That we may not startle you with an an
nouncement of a public sale at our es
tablishment we make the following ex
planation, which our patrons will find
correct: We were anticipating a good
season and we therefore selected a very
large stock, prepared for a great deal or
business, while we no doubt got our
share of the trade, yet we are short
JT.SoO from our lowest expectation anu
thia amount we are compelled to meet
within forty-five days from- the 21st ot
this month. Wo will therefore organize
a public "sale, commencing on Saturday
31st Inst, at 1 o'clock p. m. and continue
from day to day until the amount above1
stated is raised. We will not stop to
I select odds and ends to make this sale
but will let the public choose. such ar-
tides as they wish. In thia sale you
' W.1I1 v the opportunity to purchase
; at your price all kinds of silks, satins,
plot lies, velvefs. laces, . embroideries,
' ladies', misses', children's and infants'
' white embroidered underwear, teideo
and silk trimmings, table linens, flannels,
dress goods, blankets, white spreads,
aha via, xepher. ladies' and men'; shoes.
rrn-n f it-, cht.dren s. boy and youths'
lothlag. men' overcoats, fine and plain
suit, men's underwear, and In fact any
thing you may select in our store.
The Reliable
Clothier and Hatter.
Jhe Race Between
Defender and Valkyrie
has proven conclusively that
American grit, genius and muscle
are still supreme; ami so it is with
Our clothing ; no man ,
will pay if 15, W, 17, 18, $19 or 20
So long as we give him the
choice ut the finest Suit or Overcoat
In Astoria for $11.50.
Of course, we have cheaper suits, too;
Nice hrown, blue, black, grey or
mixed Cas3iuiere3 or Cheviots for $5.75
$7.50 or $9.00,
But Hie clothing we boast of
are our magnificent, pnperb
Illili and IH1EST1MT
The Live and Reliable
P. S.- -A big line of Luzerne "Hygien 2a" ,Un
deiwear (single or double-breasted) juat received
Wednesday and Friday afternoons dur
ing the whole sale will be specially for
ladles, on all other days for everybody.
All sales commence at 2 o'clock p. m.
0)0 Commercial Street.
Notice Is hereby given that payment has
b3en stopped on the following numbered
warrants draiwn by Rescue Engine Co.
No. 2, same having been lost or mislaid.
No. 4M, tin, 423, 424 and 426.
There Is nothing but bold, clear-cut
trut'h la the statement that to secure per
fect fit, quality and style In your shoe
at the lowest reasonable prices you must
go to the firm of John Hahn & Co., 479
Commercial street. ,
SHILOH'S CURE, the great Cough
and Croup Cure, is In great demand
Pocket size contain twenty-five dose
only 25 cents. Children love it. Sold
by J. W. Conn.
Highest Honors World's Fair,
Gold Medal, Midwinter Fair.
Most Perfect Made.
40 Years the Standard.
Children Cry fer
Pitcher's Castorla.
'Tis a treasure
Beyond Measure,
'Tis a pride and joyjto man ;
'Tis a blessing:
If in dressing:
He will try our low-priced plan.
Dressy Suits or Overcoats!
garments lhat are made by master hands,
Trimmed with superior trimmings,
sewed with silk and fit for a king.
We can hardly believe you will
buy elsewhere so long as this grand
Bargain Sale Continues.
Our Boy's Clothing, Huts and Fur
nishing Goods,
In fact, our entire stock,
is at your disposal at prices that
Make our competitors sick;
but our prices draw trade, and
That's what we are after.
Near Telephone Landing
Last Sunday afternoon, says the Long
Creek Eagle, a waterspout occurred on
Six Mile creek, below Rltter, doing con
siderable damage to the residence of
J. T. McLaughlin. Water fell in tor
rents, bursting in tho doors of his
dwelling, and In a very few seconds al
most two feet of gravel were deposited
on the floor. It is stated that water was
about 15 feet deep In Six Mile creek.
Much fencing was washed way.
Astoria. Or , Sept. 11, '95.
Pome of our competitor in
ihe clothing business arc los
ing tluir temper or fense
recause we saw fit. to inaugu
rate special sales, similar to
sa'es gotten up by stores in
other cities; now why should
not the people of Astoria have
the same advantages offered
by the live merchants in other
However, since they can't
stand corrpetition, we will rp
open the sale, and from this on
until further notice sell any
suit or overcoat in the store
inclndii g I as!-, steamer's ar
rivals w-Tth ftom $15 to
$22.50.. for eleven dollars and
fifty . cents and a'l ch aper
suits iir propor'ion. Very re
spectfully. ; :
: ). Herman -WfsF,
The Live and Reliable C'oth
ier ami Hattt-r. j
P. S In atdition. we will
continue the Red Letter
Sal on fill hats, furnishing
goods, and everything else in
t lie store. V