01
VOL. XXIX, NO. 107.
ASTORIA, OREGON, SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 5, 1887.
PRICE JblVE CENTS.
CASH.
ONE PRICE
&
Is fast approac
reunions and
parents as t
should re
husban
mem
Have had selected espe
Francisco for the last six we
supply, until we can confide
menced to arrive and as so'o
We are sure of being a
Customers will be allowed to
out of their money.
All goods guaranteed to be
The price of "each article will
Be sure and wait for our ope
BUSINESS CARDS.
TOU.V I J. S2IEITII.
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Office, Room 4 and 3, over City Iiook Store.
JJ.KO. XOIiWIt,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
"tiu-e in Kinney's Block, opposite Citj
Hall, Astoria, Oregon.
c w. ror.TOX.
o. a FUiro:J
FULTON BttOTIEERS,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
KoomsSand C. Odd Fellows Building.
C.
It. THOIIISOX,
Attorney at Law and Notary Public.
Special attention Riven to practice iu the
U. S. Laud Olllce. and the examination of
land titles. A full set of Abstract Books for
Clatsop County in olllce.
Money to loan.
Office ltooins 4 and 5, over City Book
Store.
T q. A. BOWLBY,
Attorney and Counsellor at lair
Office on Cheuamus Street, Astoria, Oregon
p D. WIXTOX
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Rooms No. ll and 12, Pythian Castle Build
ing. B. WATSON,
Atty.at Law and Deputy Dist. Aity.
All business before, the U. S. Land Office a
peciaity.
Astoria, - - Okegox.
"O C. HIXKLEY, D. I. t.
DENTIST.
Is associated with DR. A FOKCSt,.
Kooins 11 and 12 Odd Fellows Building,
ASTORIA, - - OREGON,
"rtUS. A. 1j. AND J. A. FULTON.
Physicians and Surgeons.
Office on Cass street, three doors south of
uaureiiows uuiiumg.
Telephone No. 41.
I"AY TCTTIiE, M. D.
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON
Office Rooms 6 Pythian Building.
Residence On Cedar Street, back of
hu diary's uosmtai.
A.
E. SHAW.
DENTIST.
Rooms In Allen's Building, up stairs, cor
ner Cass and Sqnemoqna streets, Astoria
Oregon.
1
Merry Christmas
hing; that great
fond remembr
he parents are
member their w
ds ; when lover r
bers friend, .and
us" sh
To Prep
D.L
cially for them in the East, a
eks watching all the late Eu
ntly assert that no such disp
n as they are all here we sha
ble to suit all tasts and pur
select iootls ami have them put
just what they are represented.
be distinctly marked and a child
inns: before vou buy elsewhere or
rK.O. IS. ESTKK.
PHYSICIAN" AND SURGEON.
Offick : Gem Building, up stairs, Astoria,
Oregon.
, It. AI.FICKI) KE.V.VRY,
Office at Kinney's Cannery.
Will onlv attend iiaHiMitsnf hl dfllfc uu1
may be found there at any hour.
Tlt. I'lUXK PAK.
I'll YSI01AN AND SURGEON,
Opposite Telegraph Office, Astoria. Oregon.
G
KliO V. 1'AItKKJt
SURVEYOR OF CLATSOP COUNTY
AXD '
Ez-City Surveyor of Astoria.
Residence : Near Clatsop Mill.
Robt. Collier, Deputy.
E.
('. UOLDL.Y.
Notary Public, Oommissioner of Deeds
For Washington Tenitory.
AUCTIONEER, REAL ESTATE AND
IXSUKAXCi: AGKXT.
Ofiice at Ilolden's Auction Rooms. Chena-
mas Street. Astoria. Oregon.
H.
A. S3HTII.
DENTIST.
Rooms 1 and 2 Pythian Building over
C. IL Cooper's Store.
ott:fl:e3
Malaria, Fever and Ague,
Dumb Chills, Wind Colic,
Bilious Attacks, etc.
Theyproiluco rcjfular, natural evac
uations, never gripe or interfere with
daily business. As a family medicine,
they should liaVo a placo in every
household. Price, 2.1 cents per box.
Sold Everywhere.
Office, 44 Murray St N. Y.
E. G. HOLDEN,
AUCTIONEER 5S COMMISSION
AGENT.
ESTABLISHED 1874.
Dealer In New and Second-hand Furniture
and Bedding.
"Will conduct Auction Sales of Land, Stock
or Household Goods in the country.
Will appraise and purchase Second-hand
Furniture.
Consignments solicited. Quick Sales and
Prompt Cash Returns Guaranteed.
Astoria Agent for Dally and "Weekly Ore
gonlan. - J
Tuffs Pills
est holiday of
ances; when ch
sure to do the
ives as the wi
emembers swee
when "the poor
ould not be forg
are for this Gla
ECK&
large assortment of Christm
ropean arrivals, and selectin
lay in our line has ever been
11 have a GRAND OPENI
ses.
aside for future delivery without
can buy as safely as au adult,
vou will regret vou did not first
ECK&
HE TICKLED HER RIBS.
The good people of Squak
slough are considerably agi avri
over an occurrence which ionic
place in that quiet neighborhood on
Saturday. It seems that a man
named Smith who works in one of
the coal mines has a ranch on
Squak slough, where his family
resides. Mrs. Smith is a bright
little woman with a good educa
tion, and when the husband em
ployed a young man to dig a ditch
on the place he used to induce his
employer's wife to aid him of
evenings in his mathematical
studies which he was prosecuting,
in the hope that he would some
day be something better than a
ditch digger for a Squak slough
rancher. It appears that one
evening while the farmer's wife
was aiding him in solving an in
tricate problem he became very
playful and tickled her in the ribs
with his slate pencil.
Mrs. S., like a good woman,
made no fuss over the matter until
Saturday evening, when her hus
band came home. Shortly after
he arrived the studious ditch dig
ger came up from his work tired
and hungry, and no sooner had he
entered the bouse than sho- locked
the door and made an attack upon
him with a cowhide in a most fero
cious manner. The husband, who
had not been apprised of the tick
ling business or the impending
storm, took a position in a corner
and watched the proceedings in
breathless silence, until the play
ful young man took up a chair
with which to defend himself,
"Put down that chair or I'll
brain you," shouted the husband.
"She never licks me unless I de
serve it, and I know you must
have done something wrong or
she would not'go after you."
Seeing he had the worst of it,
the young fellow danced to her
music until she was tired out,
when he succeeded in forcing the
door open and making his escape.
"Did you get your coat and hat?"
asked a friend to whom he told
the story.
"I did not want a coat or bat; I
was too warm already. I did not
even get my pay for digging that
ditch, and it will be a cold clay
when I tickle another man's wife
the year; the
ildren should re
ir children; wh
ves are sure t
theart and frie
that are always
otten
d Time
SONS
as goods, and our Harry
g the latest patterns, and choi
made in Astoria, as we shall
NG DAY of which due not
prepayment, thus securing their c
see the roods of
SONS.
in the ribs with a slate pencil.
Scuttle Post-Intelliyenccr.
The Pleasures of Snperetition.
There is, after all, a good deal
of pleasure in being superstition.
To be able to charge all puzzling
or inexplicable occurrences to in
visible, supernatural agency is a
convenient method of getting rid
of troublesome doubts or weari
some inquiry into hidden causes.
A pcor solution of a difficulty may
not, to a profound thinker, be bet
ter than none, but it is infinitely
more comforting to ordinary hu
man beings.
Man' feel, moreover, that in
acknowledging that there may be
truth in astrology, charlatanism,
and all the rest, they have been in
a manner brought into a mystic
brotherhood; and most people
have a certain secret notion that the
very confession of faith is in some
way a sort of propitiatory offering
to unseen po"Wers.
Mystery has always a fascina
tion for man, and almost any
scheme of deception can succeed
if it can but veil itself in a semi
obscurity and pique the awe-struck
curiosity .of the ignorant. A very
small basis of truth serves as suffi
cient basis upon which to erect a
very substantial structure of de
lusion, as the history of innumera
ble quacks and impostors have
testified throughout all the cen
turies since civilization began. It
is not so much that men like to be
deceived as that they enjoy de
ceiving themselves under the pre
tence that thejr stand in the pre
sence of some inscrutable mystery,
before which, since human reason
is sure to prove unavailing, it is
foolish to attempt to be reasonable
or logical at all. To be freed from
thinking is, after all, the delight
which ensnares more of mankind
than any other temptation.
Doctors' Bills.
2s early all diseases originate from In
action of the liver, and this especially
the case with chills and fever, intermit
tent fevers and malarial diseases. To
save Doctors' hills and ward off diseas
es take Simmons Liver Regulator, a
medicine that increases in popularity
each year and has become the most
popular and best endorsed medicine in
the market for the cure of liver and
bowel diseases TEi.EORun, Du
buque, Iowa.
time of happy
member their
enhnsbands
o do their
nd re-with
G. Smith has been in San
cest goods to add to the
show. The goods have corn
ice will be given.
hoice, and not being obliged to lay
A Mormon "Ad.'
The following advertisement ap
peared recently in a Salt Lake
City paper: ""Wanted, informa
tion of John Edmund Kettle, -aged
20, formerly of London, England,
latterly of Salt Lake City, by the
undersigned: Marietta Kettle,
Rosa V. Kettle, Susan T. Kettle,
Lilian O. Kettle, Katherine K.
Kettle, Mattie S. Kettle, Fannie
B. Kettle, Constance C. Kettle,
Margaret A. Kettle, and Julia A.
Kettle, all of Salt Lake Ci?y."
Apparently these Kettles are boil
ing; at any rate it will be pretty
hot for John Edmund if he is
caught.
All infections ot the blood are
removed by Ayer's Sarsaparilla.
Sold by all druggists.
Judore Geonre Hooter, of Kan
sas Citv. recently ordered the min
ister at his wife's funeral to hurry
through the services, that he might
be in time to attend the sale of
city lots.
If your hair is turning gray, re
store to it the hue of youth by the
use of Ayer's Hair Vigor. The
best hair preservative.
An Illinois tramp recently told
a farmer's wife that she ought to
feed him because she "might be
entertaining an angel unawares."
As this argument had no effect he
went out and set fire to the barn."
THX FATHER OF SCANT ILLS.
Constipation leads to multitude
of physical troubles. It is generally
th result of carelessness or indiffer
ence to the simplest rule of health.
Eugene McKay, Brantford, Ont.,
I had for several years been a suf
ferer from constipation, had taken a
great many different remedies, some
of which did m good for a time, but
only for a time, then myjtroubles
came back "worse than ever. I .was
induced by a friend; whom Brand
beth's Pills had benefited, to try
them. I did so taking two each
night for a week, then one every
night for about six weeks. Since
that time I have not experienced the
slightest difficulty whatever, and
my bowels move regularly every day.
I believe firmly that for sluggish
ness of the bowels and biliousness
Braxbbxtb's Pols are far superior
to any other.
Store Closes From Sept. 1st to April 1st nt S P. 31.,
Except Sa!nri1ny anil Holidays. No Goods Solrt on Sundays.
In Retailing Goods I Sell every Article at One Price to everyone alif:etand Strictly for
Cash. And JVb Goods to be Delivered until Paid for, or C. O. D.
Goods Delivered in Any Part of the City Free of Charge.
THIS HOW OF IT,
About every 4 or 5 days I am receiving direct from the manufacturers new goods
in the following lines, which are sold to me at the lowest inside figures on the same
terms as all such goods are sold to merchants. That is, regular time according to
the lines, some are 30, some CO, some 90 days, and mostly all 4 months, and at times
of longer periods, subject to the discounts if paid any time between time of purchase
and the time the bills become due. Goods now days are mostly sold direct by manu
facturers, quantity cuts no figure whatever, and the merchants who MEET
THEIR 13ILLS PKOMPTLY, and IN FULL WHEN DUE, are the ones who can
put forth any claims as to being one of the most or only reliable business houses in
any city, (providing all other things are equal). And whereas the patronage of au
appreciative public (with my stylo of doing business )has enabled ma to discount a
great deal of my bills since starting (Juno 1, 1SS7), and meeting EVERY bill
promptly when duo up to the present date. I can safely and truly say that I buy
and sell my goods as low as they are legitimately bought and sold on the Pacific
Coast, which lines of goods comprises
Men's Clothing, Boys' Clothing,
Men's and Boys' Furnishing Goods,
Hats, Caps, Trunks, Valises,
Umbrellas, Waterproof Clothing
of all kinds. &c, &c.
T Country orders receive prompt attention.
Ih l
KINNEY'S BRICK BUILDING, ASTORIA, OREGON.
Opposite Rescue Engine House.
HAVE NO EQUAL !
Cf
GRAND PJRIX PARIS, 18T8,
AND
GRAND CROSS OF THE LEGION D'HONNEOR.
They received the
ONLY GOLD MEDAL
For FLAX THREADS at the
London Fisheries Exhibition 1883,
And havo heen awarded HIGHER PRIZES at the various
INTERNATIONAL EXPOSITIONS
Than the goods of any other
IN THE WORLD.
Quality Can 2U.ways "be Depended on,
ExDBriencefl Fiiii Use no Otter.
HENRY DOYLE & Co.,
517 and 519 MarketStreet, - - SAN FRANCISCO.
. AGENTS FOR PACIFIC COAST.
Seine Twine, Rope and Netting Constantly on Hand
SEINES, POUNDS and TRAPS furnished to order at
Lowest Factory Prices. " '
Coliili Transuortation Compny.
FOR PORTLAND!
Through Freight on Fast Time!
TflE NEW STEAMER
Which has been specially built for the comfort of passengers will leave
Wilson & Fisher's Dock every
Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 6 A.M. arriving at Portland at 1 P.M.
Returning leaves Portland every
Tuesday and Thursday at 6 A. M. arriving at Astoria at 1 P. M.
BT"An additional trip will be made on Sunday of Eacli Wceu, leaving Portland
at 9 O'clock Similar 3IornIns. Passengers bj this route connect at Kolama
for 8ound ports. U. B. SCOTT, President
whim. !