w U gai&j tomn. AriTOKlA. OKEGON: SUNDAY. .MAY 1. IS?7 The inhabitants of the Unit n spend more money annually for su gar than for fio ir. The aggroate capital of the incor, orated building societies of Great Britain is 263,405,990. Ii to this is added the capital of the unincorporated building societies the amount will be 450,000,000. The Sound editors are at it again. This time they are calling each other "dudes," whatever they are. The last row. over among the newspaper men came near ending fatally. This one can only end in gore. salesman opens his sample book, the wine cellars of all Europe are before your eyes. The Chateau la Rose and Chateaux LaBitto of Bordeaux, the Beaune and Olos Vougeot of Burgundy, the Jo- sephshoefer Of the Moselle, Stein- wein and Schariachsberger of the Rhine Szecszardi and Tokaya Maslas of Hungary, Lacbrynue Christi and Barrolo of Italy these and hundreds of others are all there. For The Most Beautiful And enduring photocraphs, charming tones, the most scientific letouchhiR and fine polish go to N. S. Sinister, the pioneer leading photographer. See new samples at his new gallery on the- road way. Croup, Whooping Cough and Bron chitis immediately relieved by Shiloh's Cure, Sold by W. E. Dement. That Hacking quickly curea o 3 Oouen Shiloh's can be so Cure, We se - TRY IT. How a Needle Can Be Driven Through a Copper Coin. There is a ridiculous proposi tion being agitated in the eastern press to make Alaska a penal col ony. The idea is too proposterou. for serious discussion. As well make northern New York, "John Brown'-, tract," or the everglades of Florida, a penal colony. The Seattle Press expresses in short meter the greatest truth thai has been uttered in this country since Davy Crockett said: "Be sure you're right: then go ahead.' Our Sound, in every sense, con temporary says: "When peopU are busy making money there i& no time for foolishness." guarantee it. Sold by W. E. Dement. Shiloh's Vitallzer is wnat you need for Constipation, Loss of Appetite, Diz ziness and all symptoms of Dyspepsia. Price 10 and 75 cents per bottle. Sold by W. E. Dement. All the patent medicines advertised In this paper, together with the choicest perfumery, and toilet articles, etc can be bought at me lowest prices, at J w . Conn's druc store, opposite Oi'ident betel. Astoria. There is frequently a large pari of a minister's sermon that applies almost entirely to the people who absent. "What is wanted is are some way of serving this portion of the discourse to those who mosi need to hear it. An extension of the telephone system might reach their ears but would it reach their a slender needle. hearts? We know that one body is harder there aa another when it is capable of scratemng tne latter, a piece or dass scratches marble, but a bit of diamond scratches glass; 'so glass is harder than marble, and the diamond is harder than glass. The steeLblade of a knife scratches copper, so steel is harder than cupper, -and it is not impossible to pierce a copper coin rith a needle that is much harder than it, says the Scientific American. The problem at first sight appears in soluble, beoause if we try to drive a needle into a cent just as we would drive a nail into a board, we never tail to break the needle at every at tempt, since steel, although very hard, is very brittle. But if, through some artifice, we succeed in holding the needle straight and rigid over the :ent, we can drive it into the copper vith a hammer. To do this, it is on y necessary to introduce the needle nto a cork of tbesame length, when, leing held in a true sheath, it will bo inable to bend in any direction, and an be given a hard blow in the di rection of its axis without being jroken. Under such oircumstance3 place rbe needle and its cork over a cent 'aid upon a bolt nut, or even upon a table that you do not fear to injure, and then take a somewhat heavy lock smith's hammer and strike the cork a hard blow. If the blow be straight -rad a very hard one the needle will pass through the cent, and it will be impossible to remove it. The experi ment may be tried with any piece or money. We should add that success may not attend the first blow,and it will be necessary to make several trials: bnt the fact is real, nnd we have on hand a cent thus traversed by NEW TO-DAY. THE CRYSTAL PALACE FINE STOCK OF Watches, Clocks, jeweiry and Silverware JUST RECEIVED. ALSO ANOTHER LARGE INVOICE OF Fislxerinen's Alarm oioo&s. Fine Watch Repairing a specialty. C&RX ALLEE, Manager. CHAS. "W. GIBBS, Watchmaker and Jeweler. The Empi r Store. Theo.,Bracker Recommends to Iho public and to the trade bis stock of Clears, Tobacco, Sm iker's Articles. Playing Cards. Cutlery, etc. at l'ortland prices. Chenamas street. Notice. NEITHER THE CAPTAIN NOR THE undersigned agents of the "British bark Artthusa from Liverpool, will be responsible for any debts contracted by the crew of Srfld vessel, without the master's consent while at this port. MEYER, "WILSON &CO. Astoria, April 30th. I&s7. JUST RECEIVED Seattle Coal. Walls End Coal. Oregon Improvement Co. ' Hi ALLEN, E, A. NOYE3, Agent. Famous Women. The critic never had a wider province than he has to-day. The newspaper is a continual invitath n to him to shoot his arrows jn all directions. Criticism ought not tQ be confounded with chronic grum bling, though the professional critic is very apt to fall into this state of mind. Criticism should be permeated with sympathy. It may be fair and it may be honest and it may be true, and therefore ought to be welcomed. But there is a good deal of criticism, public and private, which is not distin guished for anr of these elements. The paper bottle is the latest evidence that we live in an age of paper. Car wheels, barrels, pails-, washbowls and racing boats are now made from paper, or from a a substance that can be only so named, although it is rather a pa piermache than & texture that has been produced by the complicated appliances of a paper mill. The paper bottle is a Chicago invention. It has these advantages over the glass bettle: Less likely to break; much lighter weight; impenetra bility to frost; lower cost; no pack ing material needed in cases. It is, like glass, unaffected by acids, if properly prepared. The only advantage possessed by the glass bottle is transparency. Salmon Vessels. Astoria to Liverpool Direct. We shall placo on the berth as the first ot our Direct line of sailing vessels to Liverpool, The fine Iron Bark WARWICK CASTLE. Gassed Aa1. 1158 Tons Register To be followed by atilctly Qrst clas vessels during the S.Uraon shipping season. For rates of Freiehi. and Insurance apply to MEYErt, WIL-ON & CO. Portland or San Francisco, or to WILSON. MKYEK El CO. 15 Brunswick St., Liverpool, WHOLESALE AND RETAIL DEALER IN Fine Groceries, Provisions and Mil! Feed. -T O Crockery, Glass Plated Ware. o . The Largest and finest assortment of Fresb Fruits and TTege'tabl. Received fresh every Steamer. For the Next SO Days We will sell all of our Ladies' and Children's Cloaks at 20 per cent. Less than Former Prices. We have Just Received a Larcre Lot of the oelobrated Browns ville, Oregon, Woolen Goods in Men's and Boys' Clothing, - Underwear, Flannels and Blankets, Also, Direct from the East, Gents', YouthB', Boys', and Children's Tine Clothing and Hats. All of which we will sell at the. Very Lowest Prices. Our Stock of Staple and Fancy Dry Goods is one of the most complete north of San Francisco. Our past reputation justifies us in saying that We Lead in Quality of Goods and Prices. W. T. PASSES., Manager. " ' CITY BOOK Our Stock is -Larger than ever before STORE. . All New BOOTS and SHOES. Goods and direct from Eastern Factories. FINE STATIONERY, SCHOOL AND BLANK BOOKS, MISCELLANEOUS BOOKS, Baby Carriages, Bird Cages, Croquet' Sets. FISHING TACKLE, ETC. jGOEiEffTS FOR Whiting's Standard Writing Papers. The Domestic Sewing Machine. Pacific Coast Charts and Tide Tables. . GRIFFIN & REED. Genuine English Porpoise ShoeB Tor Gents. Ladles Flexible Sole Shoes In French, Kangaroo and Doneola KM Boys and Youths Shoes of all Kinds, Mlses and Chlldrens and Infant heels, and I Spring heels. WE liEAJ., UK BOOTS AND SHOES OSLY. P. J. GOODMAN. Madame Trebelli. the greatest of living contraltos who has traveled extensively, in Tact visited every county and city of note in the world, has just departed from the slope of the Pacific, and often expressing the RreateBi aumirauou ior me oeauiy and grandeur of our scenery and the delightful mildness of our climate, left the following written note as a living expression of her opinion in the hands of a Portland druggist, the original of which, can be seen on de mand. - " PomxAND, Or., April 6, 1887. Dear Mr. Wisdem: I have tried your "Bobertine," and it gives me much pleasure to say that it is excellent for the complexion, being one of the best 'irticle-s of the kind I have ever used. Be lieve me, youra sincerely. Z. Tkebhuli. If any further proof of the excel lency of this article is required call on Messrs. W.E. Dement & Co. of Asto ria, Or., who, for the small Bum of fifty cents, will produce evidence that will satisfy the most skeptical and fastidious and give you a beautiful Dicture card for the trouble of en quiring. She Knew What a Magnet "Was. To Rent. A SMALL 4 ROOMED HOUSE OK WEST Seventh St. between Cedar and WalL HS SS Runt 312, water lucluded. A n. OS3, Notice. Some years ago a Miss H was teaching school in Dixon, 111. One day, in the reading class, they came across the word "magnet." The teacher asked how many in.the class knew what a magnet was, and re quested those who knew to hold up their right hands. All the class was motionless for a moment, and then one little girl rose and put up her hand. "Well, my dear," said the teacher, "what is a magnet?" I don't know," said the little girl, "as I know what it is, but I have seen'em at home in mother's cheese." Ex. underIenod atrents of the British bark TWEITHER THE CAPTAIN NOR THE Wariclek Castle will bo responsible lor any dents contracted by the crowr of said vessel. without the master's consent while at this port. JAMES LaJDLAW & CO. Astoria. April 6th, 1837. Breed Fine Chickens. Eges from Pure Bred Sliver Spangled Hamburg. Kosecomb Brown Leghorns and Gold Beard Polish hens. Eggs 83. OO a Set. Apply to A. P. COIVIN, Upper Astoria. TWEITHER THE CAPTAIN NOR 11 undt-rslcned agents of the British bark Notice. THE Dunbartonshire from Sj dney, N. S. W.. will ue responsible ior any qpdis conuacu-a oy the crew of said vessel without the master's consent while at this port. JAMES LAIDLAV7 & CO. Astoria, April 28th, 1837. JEFF JEFF JEFF A. VAN DUSEN & CO Is Consumption Incurable? In New York city is a largo printing establishment whose work is well and favorably known to its many" patrons. A large portion of its trade consists in supplying labels to bottlers, grocers, drug gists and saloon keepers. Over a thousand kinds are kept in stock, wnue a tnousana otners can ue produced at forty-eight hours1 no tice. These labels may be classi fied into criminal forgeries (i. e., copying a label protected by" trademark), simple forgeries (copy ing a label not" protected by a trademark), imitations of well known labels and simple lies. The skill displayed is admirable. The clumsy "woodcuts and awkward printing of the Rhine: th'o in- artistic drawing and com ical heraldry of Italy; the high" colored and graceful designs of France; the queer type and paper of Russia, and. the plain, business like labels of England are all counterfeited in a manner that would dce8iTe,an expert As the Read.the follewing: Mr. O. A. Morris. Newark, Ark., says: "Was down with Vbscess of Lungs, and friends and phy sicians pronounced me an Incurable Consumptive. Began taking Dr. King's New Discovery for Consumption, am now on my third bottle, and able to ovprsee the work on ray farm. It is the Guest medicine ever made." Jesse Middlewart, Decatur, Ohio. says: "Had it not been for Dr. King'- Xe.w Discoverv for Cnnnmni'pn T would have died of Lung Troubles. Was given up by doctors. Am now in best of health." Try it. Sample bottles free at V. E. Dement & Co.'s Drug Store. Have Just received a large Invoice of FANCY GROCERIES From the cast, which they bought at BOTTOM PRICES, And are Giving Customers theBenefit of the same. Among other things they hare received a Fine Yeast Powder, "Which they will soil you and give you from One to Three Pieces of Orookery "With each can. Call and See for Yourselves. JEFF JEFF H, B. PARSER, DKALKR IX Hay, Oats, ani Straw, Lime, Brici Cement, SancL and Plaster Wood Delivered to Order. DrajlBg, Teaming and Express Busbteu. STEAMER TBR apply to the Captain, or to CLARA PARKER Ebon P. Parker,Mastef. For TOWING, FREIGHT or CHAfc- s. m. faxkxh; JEFF JEFF JEFF E MURRAY & GO., GROCERS And Dealers In Cm 817 Sips The Man who read JOB PRINTING. Neat, Quick And Cheap at The ASTOBIAN JOB OFFICE. To Rent. A FOUR ROOMED COTTAGE. WELL located and eligible In everv respect. Apply to FO aRD & S rOKES. -JEFF'S!-- Syrup of Pigs. Manufactured only hy the California Fig Syrup Co. San Francisco Cal. is Natures Own True Laxative. This pleasant liquid fruit remedy may be had of W. E. Dement & Co, at fifty cents or one dollar per bottle. It Is the most pleasant, prompt and effective remedy known, to cleanse the system ; to act on. the Liver, Kidneys ana Bowels centlj yet thoroughly to dispel Headachs. Colds and Fevers: to cure Constipation, Indigestion and kindred ills. The perfection of the age iu the med ical line Is the liquid fruit remed Syrup of Figs, manufactured only b the California Fig Syrup Co., San Fran cisco, i"al. It is agreeable to tlw taste acceptable to the stomach, harmless in its nature, painless yet vromnt anu thorough in its action. Forsa o by W. E. Dement & Co. Will vou suffer with Dyspepsia and Liver Complaint? Shiloh's vitallzer h- teed to cure you. Sold by W. E. Spe FISHERIES cial To save time In writing for prices, we beg to say that the rates of all the net factories a e by agreement uniform. An order with out enquiries, secures the aitlcle at the owest prices. GLOUCESTER NET & TWINE CO., Gloucester, Mass. Boston Office 90 Commercial St. American News Depot B uarant f mint & Co. ON SALE The latest Magazines and papers ot i ne aay. Swedish, Danish and German Books and Dictionaries. Lovell and Seaside libraries. I Books. Stationery, etc. A BALM. I Chenamus St. neat Illustrated papers, School S' Advertisement and doesn't go there toget a meal DON'T KNOW ENOUGH TO GO IN WHEN IT RAINS. A SPLEIID MEAL FDMISHED. Eastern and Shoalwater Oysters. MEALS COOKED TO ORDER. A FIRST CLASS LODGING HOUSE! In Connection With The Restaurant. Special Attention Given to Filling Of Orders. A FULL LINE CARRIED And Supples furnished at Satis factory Terms. Purchases delivered hi any part of the city. Office and Warehouse In Hume's New BnlMIns on "Water Street P. O. Box 153, . Telephone No. 37. ASTOBIA, ' OREGON. annerymen NOTICE. If you want to contract for your summers wood now is your cnance. FRANK L. Apply to PARKER Or to the Strike It Rich! BUY YOUR. Groceries! Provisions -OF- Foard & Stoke Their largely Increasing; trade enables -thera to self at the very lowest margin of ptoflt while giving you goods that are orflrst elass quality. Goods Delivered All Over the City. H. EKSTR0M. WATCHMAKER. Just received a lar (1 ft lartrft xtnclc oi 1 and Clocks, Chains. Lockets, etc, a stock o "Watches ..v. uivmj. tiuojlis, 1IUKCUi Cl. auu genuine heth Thomas Boat Clocks, proved to pe the best. All wulcu will be sold at very low prices. "Watch and Clock Tepairlnz a specialty, ana done at reasonable prices. apop nest to Aug. Danlelson's Boom, on thatoadway, sample DRESSMAKING. Mrs. Bryce would respectfully Inform the TadlPS ot 'Astoria and surrounding country, that she has recently received a large addition to he? stock ottfress buttons, and trimmings, which she will sell at reasonable price. . . ... . A Dressmaking in all its branches done promptly, and In first class style; and satisfaction guaranteed. Cutting and fitting a specialty. Nest door to amtokiax office on Cass St, Astoria, April 25th, 1887, The Highest Price1. Paid for Junk. Astoria Food Yard. Just received at the JLstorla Wood Yard i.v cords extra ciiolce Red Fir Wood. Also CO cords fine Vine Maple Limbs. Xeave orders with F. L. PARKKB. Telephone 36. LOEB & CO. lies, Liprs ail dip. A Large Stock of FIRST CLASS GOODS. THE TRADE Supplied at Lowest'Market Rates. All orders filled promptly and Accurately. Agents for First Class Foreign and Domestic Brands. Main street Opposite Parker House, ASTORIA, r - - " OREGON. Frank L Parke Dealer in v Fancy and .Staple Groceries, Flour Feed Potatoes Headquarters For . ASTOBIA WOOD YAED. To Rent. FIVE ACRE TRACT FOR A TERM OF Tears. "Well located : "Will be leased on favorable terms. Apply to B?. WKH4AH, 'Chicago Howe, E: 0. H0LDEN. AnelioneBr anrl Commission ipat Established 1874. Dealer In New andSecond-hand'Furnltare and Bedding. "Wilt conduct Auction Sales of Lapd, Stock., or Houtthold Goods In the country. "Will appraise and purchase Second-hand Furniture. Consignments Solicited, Quick Sales and prompt Cash returns guaranteed. Astoria agent for Dally and Weekly Ore-gonian. $67,000,000 Capital Liverpool & London & Globe, North British and Mercantile ot London and Edinburgh. Hartford of Connecticut, Commercial ot California Agricultural, of watertown. New "York, Dondon & Lancashire Tot Liverpool, Eng.. Fire Insurance Companies, Reproeat ln a capital of sa7,ooo;00o. B. VAmJSKN Agent. Tone Up The System. TR? THE NERVE FOOD, Manufactured and for Sale by jBlciziJseaa. c? Oo. Mineral "Waters, Soda Watec Dally de livery In all parts or tha City. Office and Works on Jefferson street, west oi Cass.