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to
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(II Jill IP 41 111 II I lIlS m tH I 111 I I III 1 1
VOL. XXV, NO. CM.
BUSINESS OAKDS.
C. R. THOMSON,
TflOMSOtf
E. E. COOTEM
fc GOOTERT.
Attorneys at Law and Hotaries Public,
Special attention given to collections and
examining titles. . , fi ,
Offjce Rooms 4 and 5, over City Book
More.
p Bt MART1X. '. F.,
Architect and Civil Engineer.
OFriCE Room tJ, Knight of Pythias
Building.
UBh.. A. I, and .1. A. Fl'LTOS.
Plijsi-J:iu.aiil Surgeon.
Will Kite prompt attention to all calls.
iiciiii any part of the city or country.
Ofllcp over Allen's Store, corner Cos and
- ueinofiua streets, Afctorla. Oregon.
Telephone No. 41.
xTlt. FKAXIt I'AWE.
PHYSICIAN AND SUKGEOxS,
OpposlteTelecraph Office, Astoria, Oregon.
J
AY TDTTLE, M. I.
PHYSIOIAS AND SURGEON ,
UKKK'K
Rooms 1, 2. and 3. Pj thlan I5u:ld-
KairuKXCK-On Cedar Street.
M. Mary' Hospital.
back of
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON.
Officf. : Gem Building, up stairs, Astoria,
otcjrun.
-rR. AliPKBD KIXXEY,
Office at Kinney's Cannery.
Will only attend patients at his office, and
may be found there at any hour.
P.
THOEX,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON.
Residence, Upper Astoria, Nillson House.
f ETiO F. TAKItEK
SURVEYOR OF CLATSOP COUNTY
AND
Es-Clty Surveyor of Aetona
Offlce : N. E. corner Cs and A stor .street?.
Room No. 8 Up MalrM.
. DOIUUS,
ubo. sousn
.Sf..t?il fc DP.S1.
ATTORNEYS AT LAY''.
Wo hi Kinney's Jllock,
Call, Astoria, Oregon.
ppotllf fill
W. FULTON.
O. C. FULTON
rrirox brothers.
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
KoomsSand C.Odd Fellows Building.
J.
q. A. BOWLBY.
attorney and CottuMlIor t taw,
ifflce on Clien.imu9 Street. Astoria, Oregon.
F."
WIMTO.V
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Rooms No. 11 and 12. F thlan CastlftBulId
Pg. T D. ItAY3lO.VE,
CIVIL ENGINEElt,
CITY SUKVKYOK.
Office In City Hall, Astoria. Oregon.
A.
E. SHAW.
DENTIST.
Rooms In Allen's Building, up btalrs. cor
ner Cass and Squemoqua streets. Astoria
Oregon.
H.
A. S3HTII,
DENTIST.
IJiavepermanpntlv located lnAstorla.ro
practice Dentistry. 1 havn all the late Im
proved appliances. None hut the very best
of work done and satisfaction guaranteed.
Offlce In Kinney's Building.
T K. SrJ2DDKT.
NOTARY PUBLIC,
Searcher of Titles, Abstracter ttitd
Conveyancer.
Office on Cass Street. 3 doors south of As
torian office, Astoria, Oregon.
General Agency of
W
31. C. ADAIR,
Real Estate, Insurance and Money
BROKER.
Valuable Properties for Sale or Lease in
Upper Astoria. Accounts Adjusted, and
Book Keeping done on Short Notice. Office
with Col. Spedden, cor. Jefferson and Cass
streets, Astoria, Oregon.
A. V. Allen,
Wholesale and Retail Dealer in
MILLPEED.
Glass and Plated Ware,
TROPICAL AND DOMESTIC
FRUITS AND VEGETABLES.
together with
WiR, LiquorsJobaccoXigars
I
THE GREAT REGUUTQB
PURELY VEGETABLE.
Arc You Bilious?
The Regulator lever falls to cure. I most
cheerfully recommend It to all who suffer from
Bilious Attacks or any Disease caused by a dis
arranged state of the Liver.
Kansas City, Mo. W. R. BERNARD.
Do You Want Good Digestion ?
I suffered intensely KitkFull StomaeJIfead-
aehe, etc. Anelgkbor, vho had taken Simmons
Liver Beaulator. told me It teas a sure cure far mv
I trouble. The first dose I took relieved me very
much, and in one iceei's time I teat as strong ana
hearty as I ever was. It is the best medicine
I ever took for Dyspepsia.
Richmond, Va. H. G. CRENSHAW.
Do You Suffer from Constipation ?
Testimony of Hiram Warmer, Chief-Justice of
Ss : " I have used Simmons Liver Regulator for
Constipation of my Bowels, caused by a temporary
Derangement of the Liver, for the last three or
four years, and always telth decided benefit."
Have You Malaria ?
have had experience Kith Simmons Liver Regu
lator since J86S, and regard it as the greatest
medicine of the times for diseases pecu
liar to malarial regions. So good a medi
cIrc deserves universal commendation.
REV. M. B. WHARTON,
Cor. Sec'y Srathera Baptist Theological Seminary.
Safer and Better than Calomel !
I have been subjeel to severe spells of Congestion
of the Liver, and have been in the habit of taking
from 15 to ao trains of calomel, which generally laid
me up for three or four days. Lately I have been
talcing Simmons Liver Regulator, which gave me re
lief, uHUiout any interruption to business.
MiDDLsrORT, Ohio. J. HUGG.
J. H. Zeilin & Co., Philadelphia, Pa.
TUTTS
PILLS
TORPID BOWELS,
DISORDERED LIVER,
and MALARIA.
From theso sources arise thrco-fbnrlba
oftho diseases of the human ruco. These
symptoms indicate their enstence:
lLost of Appetite, Bowels cotlve,
Sick Headache, follncxs after eat
ing, aversion to exertion of body or
mind, Ernctatlon of food, Irrltabll
Ityof temper,IiorplrlU,Afeellnfj
beforo the eyes, highly colored
Crln e , COarSTlPATIO,and demand
the use of aremedy that acts directly on
thoLlver. AaaLivcrrnedlclneTUTT'S
PI1VL.S have no equal- Thcirnctlonon
the Kidneys and Skin ia also prompt;
removing all impurities through theso
three ' scavengers of the system,"
producing appetite, sound digestion,
regular stools, a clear akin and a vlg
orousbody. TCTT'SPJXI.S cause no
nausea, or griping nor interfere "Kith
dally vrosk ana are a perfect
ANTIDOTE TO MALARIA.
Bold everywhere 253. OlHce 44 MurrnySt.N V.
TUTTS HAIR DYE.
GnATlLuE OKWmfiitnBS changed in
stantly to n GLossr liLACK by a single
application of this Dte. Sold by Drug
dsts,orsent by express onrecelntofJL
Offlce. 41 Mnrrav StrftP.t. Kew Vort-
75 K&OTili C? USEFKi SXCEITZ3 ISU.
Fisherie
Ye have a new Mill, first class, ltli
heavy machinery to knit tlir
STRONG
TRAPS and
Suited to tLe
SEINES
Pacific Fisheries !
Also for the lighter kinds of NetsandStrincs.
All kinds of Nets and Semes made to order.
Letters promptly answered. Prices Low.
Gloucester Net and Twine Co.,
"9C Commercial Street, Ronton.
SPECIAL NOTICE!
O. R. & N. CO.
EXCURSION!
Tickets to Portland and Return
For $2 50.
Good on any of the Company's boats
K. A.
Agent.
R. Lemon & Co.,
Stevedores and Riggers,
PORTLAND and ASTORIA.
Portland Offick No. tc North Front St
Astoria Planing Mill
H01.T& CO. Proprietors.
Manufacturers of
Mouldings.
Sash Ooors.
Blinds, Rails,
Balusters,
Newol Posts,
Brackets.
Scroll nndTnrned Balustrades, '
BOAT MATERIAL, ETC.,
Orders Solicited and Promptly Atteaded to.
Satisfaction Guaranteed
As to Style, Quality and Prices.
Mill and Office cor. Polk and Concomly Sts
ASTORIA, OREGON.
A4res HOLT & GO.
1886,
ASTORIA, OREGON, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 17, J 886.
PEOMisma pups.
rxe Ameaatf BaHSBceTk&t Ceald
Be Mad.e of Tkem.
There is a matter that seems tri
fling in itself, bat which is of a great
deal of importance, and which
should be legislated upon. That is
the habit men get into, who own
dogs, of promising pups to friends,
and never delivering the goods.
Shakespeare, inhis inspired writings,
has said, "It is a mean man that
will not promise a pup." Maybe it
was not Shakespeare who wrote it,
but however it was, the saying has
oecome Historical ana mere are
thousands of men who live up to it.
and promise pups recklessly, with
no thought of ever fulfilling the prom
ise. There is probably no man
who has been promised more pups,
and received fewer of them, than th
wnteroftuts. Ifallthepupspromised
to him in the last twenty years were
in single file the procession would
reach from Milwaukee to San Fran
cisco, and from there to Alaska, by
water, as many of the pups promised
have been water spaniels. If all
these pupB could have been made up
into sausage, the free-lunch counters
of the world might be supplied.
Some of the men who have promised
pups to the writer have died and
gone to their judgment with these
unfulfilled promises, and other sins,
on their heads. Some are living,
and are yet addicted to pups, but
though wo yearn for a pup, and suf
fer untold agonies, no pup comes to
cool the parched tongue, and we are
liable to go down the long vista of
tho future, pupless, thundering down
the ages with no pup, when so
many aro due. Of all men who
have promised pups to U3 there is no
one of them that has promised pups
oftener, and had more pups with
which to pay the promises, than
George Clason. Thero is no man
that can promise a pup with more
apparent sincerity, more oclat, if
you know what that is, than George
can. "Whon the handsome fellow
looks at you with his honest eyes,
and says, "You shall have a pup,"
you think that settles it. There is
something about George that makes
you think he would not deceive a
man about a pup. But lie 13 like
all the rest of them. He commenced
promising us pups as long ago as
when ho was brakeman on the St.
Paul road beforo he owned any dogs.
He said he would steal a pup. While
wo were suffering for a pup at that
time, and for all the years he was
brakeman, it did not seem right to
have him steal a pup, just to accom
modate a friend, and it was with
pleasure that we saw the years pass,
and Georffo's soul yet safe from the
sin of theft of a pup. But when ho
became a conductor, and owned dogs
of all kinds, and began promising
pups, we felt that there were men
that were honest about promising
pups. But years wore on, ana
passed away, and the pup did not
materialize to any alarming ex
tent For twelve years we never
met that man, on the cars, in
tue marts 01 ousinees, in cliurcn or
society, that he did not promise us a
pup. Once at a grand reception at
which were gathered the beauty and
chivalry of a whole state, he lod us
from the dancing hall, through a
corridor, down to the bar of a great
hotel, behind the screen, away from
the maddening crowd, and requested
us to pin up a rip in his pants. Af
ter the matter had been fixed up so
that the sharpeit-eyed dancer in all
h the world could not have seen a rip
in ms apparei, nis grautuae Knew no
bounds. He seemed to realizo that
he had not treated us right, and a
tear stole down his cheek that is,
not the whole length of his cheek,
because one tear could not go so far
he said, and thero was a certain tre
mor in his voice that meant business,
as be said it, "Old boy, vou have
saved my life. You shall have a
pup." "What we had done for him
was not with the hope of reward, but
if he felt grateful, and would only
keep a single one of his thousands of
promises, we felt that it would be no
more than richt. and we carted
'friends. Years passed, and no pup
camo to brighten the home of the
conductor's benefactor, but one day
ho was promoted to be assistant
superintendent of a division of tho
great railroad, and it seemed as
though the pup would be along on
the next train. A superintendent
can keep his promise when a con
ductor hasn't got time. The first
time we saw Clason after his promo
tion, he said, and there was a far
,away look in his eye; as though ho
was trying to recall something,
"Let's see, didn't 1 promise you a
(pup7" we aian't want to say that
.he had promised a thousand, be
cause a thousand pups were more
than any gentleman would need, so
the answer was simply, "I believe
so." He took out a memorandum
and wrote something down, and went
away, and we watched the express of
fice ever since with no result. But the
Years that have passed since Clason
iflrst began to promise pups, nave left
us both gray and old, and now a pup
MU not fill the bill. Nothing but a
full-grown dog, well broken, and
.warranted free from fleas, will fill tho
bill, and an eflort will bo made, be
fore resorting to the courts, to see if
j Clason cannot be made to put up or
Imfttup. The matter will be brought
Defere tne ooara 01 Directors 01 tne
'8t. Paul road at the next annual
meeting, and a demand made that
tClason do coapelled to deliver, char
ges paid, sucli-a dog as- he- lias be
ireaved us of for almost twenty years.
(The directors will see the justice of
yjit dsmajii . Tfley cannot baiat
They do not want their railroad to
get into disrepute, through a man
who promises pups recklessly, and
' never pays them. That is one thing
that makes railroad stocks uuctuate
so. If the directors will not compel
that man to do his duty, there is
but one recourse, and that is a suit
for breach of promise. If we can get
such a case before some judge who
likes to go hunting, and who has
been promised pups which he never
received, Claaon's goose will be
cooked. Thero will be no hard feel
ings in such a lawsuit. It will be all
amicable, but it will be a test case,
to decide whether a man can go
through life promising pup3 on the
slightest provocation, never deliver
ing the goods, and yet go in good soci
ety and respected as a law-abiding
citizen. Egad, we will have a dog, if it
is s hundred years old. Peck's Sun.
Arithmetical Item.
Jim Webster was tried last week
in Austin for stealing chickens from
Col. Yerger. He was convicted and
sentenced to a term of imprisonment.
After the trial was over, Col. Yerger
said to Webster:
"Now that you have been con
victed, just for the fun of it. I'd like
to know how many of my chickens
you nave stolen at one time and
another."
"I ain't gwinter tell yor, boss,
how many chickens I lifted offen
your'ro hen roost."
"Jim, nore is nau a aouar, it you
will tell me the number vou have
taken."
"No, sah, I ain't gwinter tell yer
for no half dollar how many of dem
chickens 1 tuck. Ise knows the
number perzackly,butl ain't gwinter
gib hit away for no fifty cents. I
ain't no fifty cents on de dollar nig
gah. Ef you wants de hull troof yer
mus pay a hull dollar."
"Well, Jim, hero is fifty cents. If
you are willing to tell the whole
truth for a dollar, of course you will
tell half tho truth 'for fifty cents.
You can afford to tell me half the
number of chickens for fifty cents,
can't you?"
"Sartainly. I'se a square niggah.
Ef you pays for half tho troof, dat's
what yor gits."
"Well, give me half the number
of roosters you stole."
"Lemme see. Half de number of
roosters am five."
' 'Very well. What's half the num
ber of pullets?"
"JEEeah, heahl I can't split a pul
let in two, kin I? Half de pullets
am six and one pullet over."
"How about old hens? "
"Half de hens am six."
"So vou stole ten roosters?"
"Delawl How de dibbel did you
come ter fine dat out? "
"You stole thirteen pullets and
twelve old hens."
The astonished darkey started
back in dismay, and rolling his eyes
at Colonel Yerger, exclaimed :
"You is a dangerous man. Dar's
some hocus pocus about dis heah."
"One question more. Jim. How
did you manage to find out half the
number of chickens you stole. You
don't know anything about arithme
tic." "No. sah, of course I don't know
nuffin' 'bout refmetic, but I knows
half de number of chickens I
got, becase de udder niggah what
was watchin' outsider de fence he
uck half de chickens and I cot de
udder half." Texas Sittings.
A Soft Thin.
Two old friends met on the train
between Dallas and Fort Worth.
After the usual greeting, one of them
asked :
" Isn't Sam Sweedlepipes livin in
Dallas?"
"Is he a glazier?"
"Yes ; he is a painter and glazier."
" He is getting rich fast."
"Getting rich fast, is he? Run
ning a monte bank, I suppose."
"No; he has got a better thing
than that."
"City official?"
" No, he belongs to a fire company,
and when a fire breaks out he runs
along and wakes up the people with
a stick."
"I don't see how there ia any
money to be made in that."
" He wakes people up by tapping
on their windows with a stick, and
he manages to break all the panes
of glass within half a mite of the
fire, and next day he is called on to
put them in again at fifty cents
apiece. He has got a soft thing of it.
He hasn't got the social status, but
he is making more money than if
he was an alderman. Texas Sitt
ings. 'ot Symptoms, but the Cltease.
It would seem to be a truth appreciable by
all.and especially by professors of the hf allng
art, that to remove the disease, not to allev
iate its symptoms, should be the chief aim of
medication. Yet in how many instances do
we see this truth admitted in theory.Ignored
in practice. The reason that Ilostettejjrf
Stomach Bitters is successful insomanycas
es,w ith which remedies previously tried w ere
inadequate to cope, is attributable to the fact
that It is a medicine which reaches and re
moves th causes ot the various maladies to
which it is adanted. Indisestion. fever and
ague, livercompl3lnt.gout,rheumatlsm, dis
order ot tne Dowels, urinary anecnons ana
other maladies are not palliated merely, but
rooted out by it. It goes to the fountain
bead. It 13 really, not nominally, a radical
remedy, and it endows the system with au
amount of vigor which It Its best protection
against disease.
PiAl
POWDER
Absolutely Pure.
This powder never varies. A marvel of
purity, strength and wholesomeness. More
economical than tho ordinary kinds, and can
not be sold In competition with the multi
tude of low teit, short weight, alum or phos
Shate powders. Sold only in cane. Rotax.
AKINU POWDEK CO. 108 Wall-St.. N. Y.
MARKETS.
STAR MARKET.
WHERRY & COMPANY,
Fresh and Cured M eats
FRUITS, BUTTER, and EGGS.
OPPOfclTB OCttDKNT HOTEL.
CUr.STAHUS gtreet. Astoria, Os.
Washington Market.
JIala vtrccC, AMortn, OrrxB.
i:KG.nA. &. co.p j:ozjuktohw
PE.SPHCTFULLY CALL THE
Ift Uou of the nuhllc to the faci
ATTEN-
uhllc to the fact that' the
:Jove Market will at v. ay h be supplied with a
FULL VAKIETY AND BEST QUALITY
FiJESri AND CURED frtEATE i
Whh'h will bj sold at lowest rates, whole
sale ami retail .
Jf-Spec!al attention given to supplying
ahip-i.
-v. jmui . ! s -'I ' nff
Vm. EDGAR,
Dealer In
Cigars, Tobacco and Cigarettes
Meerschaum and Brier Pipes,
GENUINE ENGLISH CUTLERY
Revolvers and Cartridges.
CORNRK MAIN AND CHENAMUS ST.
MURRAY & CO.,
GROCERS
Aiid Dealers la
817
Special Attention Clvonto Filling
Of Ordors.
A Pl-LL LlftE CARRIED
And Supples furnished at Satis
factory Terms.
Purehaies dellrored In any part ot tho !ty.
Office and "Warehouse
I:i nimio'a New Uutldlu? on Wator Street.
I. O. Box 133. Telephone No. SZ.
XSTORIA, OREGON.
$67,000,000 Capital!
Liverpool and London and Globe
North British and mercantile
Of Loudon and Edinbn'gb.
Old Connecticut of Hartford
AND
COMMERCIAL OF CALIFORNIA
Fire Insurance Companies,
Representing a Capital o I SG7,000 OOO.
B. VAN DTJ5EN. Accent.
J. H. D. GRAY.
Wholesale and retail dealer In
GROCERIES, FLOUR, ANDf EED
Hay, Oats, Straw, Wood, Etc.
LIME, SAND AND CEMENT.
General Storage and :Wb.arf age on reason
able terms. Foot of 'Pea ton street, Astoria,-Orefc60,--
Gai
Sillies!
A FINE HAT FOR A PRESENT
To Any One
KISS IE FOLLOWII PUZZLE:
How does an Anti-Chinese Agitator resemble a Jewish Rabbi?
To Present Thir Written Answer
L
iverpool
Beginning Saturday the 20th mst., up to 3 o'clock p. sr. Monday
22nd. when all answers will be ooened and the Hat awarded to
successful guesser.
HERMAN WISE, Proprietor
Liverpool and New York Outfit Co. Under the Occident.
THE NEW MODE
w
tints etc., a specie1 ?
A FUIii STOCK aLWAYS OK HAND
The Telephone iSalooD.
The Finest Establishment of
the Kind in Astoria.
Especially lilted up for the Comfort and
CouTenlencc of those who enjoy s
Social Ghvs.
The Best of Wines and Liquors,
The Choicest Cigars. ,
Everything New and First-Class.
R. I.. JEFFREY. Frop'r.
ASTORIA IRON WORKS.
BatrroK Stiusbt, Neah Pakkbr Housb,
ASTORIA. - OREGON.
GENERAL MACHINISTS AND
BOILER MAKERS.
LAP ani HARM ENGINES
BoilerWork, Steamboat Work
and Cannery Work a spe
cialty. Of all Descriptions made te Order
at Short aiotlce.
A. D. Wasb, President.
J. G. Hustlkr, Secretary.
L V7. Case, Treasurer.
JOHN Fox.Superintendent.
BANKING AND INSURANCE!
I. W. CASE,
Broker, Banker, and Insur
ance Agent,
tM'OBU, - OREGON.
OFFICE HOURS :
From u o'clock A. 31. until 3 o'clock P. M.
FOR
jMW b WlaBMi gliigsg
CoMi Transportation CoiufT
Through Freight on Fast Time!
THE NEW STEAMES
TELEPHONE
Which ha3 been specially built for the comfort of passenjrera will leave
Wilson & Fisher's Dock every
Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 6 A.M. arriving at Portland at 1 P.M.
Returning leaves Portland every
Tuesday and Thursday at 6 A. H. arriving at Astoria at 1 P. H
W-An additional trip wHI be made onStjnday of Each Wp.leavln? Portlimd
at OVsU-cfc &3ay Mornlajr. Passengers b VKOCTPrliSf1
for Sounlports. u-B-5Ctri l ' rre '" r,T
PRICE. FIVE CENTS.
Who Can
Orer Their Signature at The
the
the
RANGE CAN BE BAD IN
AR
TORIA ONLY OE
B. B. HAWES,
AGEAT
CALL AND EXAMINE IT YOU
WILL BE PLEASED,
B. K. 11AWES Is also nciit fcr the
1M patent Cooking Stove
And other first-clast Stoves.
Furnace "Worli. Stoam Fit-
Cariiaiian & Co.
SUCCESSORS TO
I. W. CASE,
LMPOXTBKS aUU V ilL5ALK , HO
S.-. I'AIL OKALgP.S IN
'Vjrner Chec&ciiu and caw streets.
ASTOKIA
- )!Ktv
Wilson& Fisher
Ship Chandlers,
HEAVY AND SHELF
HARDWAEE
Paints. Oils, and Varnish.
LOGGERS' SUPPLIES.
PROVISIONS
AND
MILL FEED
AGENTS FOU
Salem Flouring Hills,
Portland Eoller Mills,
Capitol Hour and
FAIRBANKS' SCALES.'
ASTORIA. OKEGON.
C. E. BAIN.
DOORS, WINDOWS, BRACKETS.
Mouldings, Window Frames, etc.
A Full Supply of Material. Bids Furnished :
Contract Work a Specialty.
31111 and Office on the Old Site.
ij&ssza
New TorkUutfitbo
i
PORTLAND !
-,-