The daily morning Astorian., January 29, 1886, Image 1

0)
A. .A. "
S Ss ; A?
VOL. XXV, NO. "24
ASTORIA, ORHGON, FRIDAY, JAiYlARY 29, 1886.
PRICE. EIVE CENTS."
BUSINESS CARDS.
C. E. TH0MF0X, I- K. COOVf KT.
tktoisox & coovrirr.
Attorneys &t Law and Notaries Public.
Special attention given to collections and
examining titles.
Office Rooms 4 and 5, over City Book
Store.
C.B
. 3IAKT1X. C K.t
Architect and Civil Engineer.
Office Koom , KntahK of Pjthlas
Building.
"VKM. A. I., unci J. A. FULTO.V
Physicians and Surgeon's.
Will Rive prompt attention to all calls.
fiom any pan of the city or country.
Office over Allen'.s Store, comer Cass and
-uuemoqua streets am una, wn-r."-
le
telephone No. 41.
I " It. FKAX H- PA ; K.
Phytdclnn nud Hurgeon.
Offlc, BoomC, over D. A. Mcintosh s stoie.
Office Hours :-9 to 11 a. m. ;-c to 5 p. m.
Residence, opposite the Joliansen building
D
R.O. B. KHTKS.
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON.
Office : Hem Building, upstairs. Astoria,
Irecoii .
D
B. AliFKKl KIX.VKY.
OFFICE IN ODD FELLOW'S BUILDING,
.Morning Hours, 9 1- 11.
Afternoon Hours, ti to 4.
Evening Hours, 7 to 8 sa) :
At all other times enquire at liU rooms
over Goodman's Boot and Shoe More.
;ko. a. dorris. oko. nolaxu
rVOV.AIVO fc DORKIS,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
Office iu Kluney's Blocl:. i.ppnslte City
HallAstorla. Oregon.
. W. FULTON. C FULTOX.
FUI.TOK BROTHERS.
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
Rooms 5 and 6. Odd Fellows Building.
f EliO F. FABKKK
SURVEYOR OF CLATSOP COUNTY
AXD
Ex-City Surveyor of Astoria
Office : N. E. corner Cass and Astor streets,
Room No. 8 Up Stair.
T O,. A. BOWLBY.
Attorney and Connnellor at Law,
Office on Cheuamus Street, Astoria. Oregon.
F.
I. IVIXTOX,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Rooms No. 11 and 12, Pythian Castle Build
ing. AY TUTTJLE. 31. I.
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON
Office Rooms 1.2. and 3. Pythian Bull I
ng. Rksidkxck On Cedar Stieet. back ol
St. Mary's Hospital.
A K. SHAW.
DENTIST.
Rooms In Alien's Building, up stalls, cor
ner Cass and Squemoqua Heels. Astoitu
Oregou.
O K. SPKI1K.
NOTARY PUBLIC.
Searcher of TItleH, Abstracter ami
Conveyancer.
Office on Cass Street. 3 doors south of As
torian office, Astoria, Oregon.
General Agency of
W
II. B. ABA IK,
Real Estate, Insurance aud 3loucj-BROKER-
Valuable Properties for Sale or Lease in
Upper Astoria. Accounts Adjusted, and
Book KeeDlne done on Short Notice. Office
with Col. Spedden, cor. Jetlerson and Cass
btreets, Astoria, Oiegon.
A. V. Allen,
Wholesale and Retail Dealer In
rtttrfof,
PpqyIsIqbb,
MILLEEED.
Glass and Plated Ware,
TROPICAL AND DOiMESTIC
PtUITS AND VEGETABLES.
Together with
Wines, LiquorsJobacccCigars
Hong Yik & Co.
The undersigned are doing business
finder the above name.
Corner fhenaraustindBenton HtH
JLtxo Tea.
Groceries and Provisions.
Contractors for Chinese Labor.
ASTORIA, ORECOH.
" JOE OIM FEE.
AH CHU.
CHIT FIN.
CHO CU HO.
sura
son
THE GREAT -M
Mm reMEO
2
9 Cures
jlfRHEUMATISM.
il Neuralgia,
itaekache. Headache. TootliacUc,
ftpralus, lirulM'H, etc., etc.
Price, i if ty Ccnta. At Drujxlsts and Iicalera.
rHE CHARLES A. VOGELER CO.. Sole Prep'
UaITIJIOEE, ilAETLAiT), U. S. A.
INVIGORATOR
1$ just what its name implies ; &
Purely Vegetable " Compound, thai
acts directly upon the
the many diseases incideorta that im.
portant organ, and pTevbhting the nn
merous ailmxnts tVfag arise from il
rlexanged or cprpjqkction, such as
Dyspeps:
f Biliousness
Co
aria, Sick-headache.
Rheianatttaetc. Itis therefore 2
iraisnMhM" i( To "have Good Healti
:he iweFinust: be kept in order."
DIL SAHPORD'S 1IYEB INVIGOBATOB
nvisorates the Liver, Regulates the Bow
sis Strengthens lite System, PuriGes Ihc
Blood , Assists Digestion, Prevents Fevers.
Is a Household Keed. An Invaluable
Family Medicine for common complaints
DZL SANFOED'S LIVES DT7IQ0BAT0H.
An experience of Forty years, and Tho i
lands cf Testimonials prove its Merit.
FOR SALE BT AI.Tj DEALERS IK MEDICINES
For full information send yoar address for JH
prc Book on the " Liver and its dl:a'-s," t
esroKD 2 dcaxe st.. xcrr Tonic citI:
W. E. DEMENT & CO.
XJR.r GGIS "ITS.
ASTORIA. - OKKtiON
farry in Moek.
DRUGS, CHEMICALS, TOILET
and
FANCY ARTICLES
Prescriptions carefully Compounded
AHEAD OF ALL COMPETITORS!
Capitol Flour,
Manutacluietl hv the Full Roller I'rocevs,
y tlie
Salem (Or.) Capitol Flour Mills Co..
limiti:i J
The only flour that ha taken First Vtie
three years in Miec ion at the
lMUtfSiAMV .UIUMIANIC'S FA I It.
Alo al State Pair.
One trial N Mifnek-nt to convince of its snj.e
tioilty. See that the word CAPIlOLtson each sack
OEORUE SHIE1.. 8 Stalk St..
Poll laud Ajrent.
WI1:0N & KISHEIt. Astoria ARems.
For Rent.
rjMIE BUILDINO KNOWN AS MUSIC
ft Hall, lonuerly occutued liy Rout. Will
gren. Fully funiishea and n-udj for business.
Also the building fonnerlv occupied ij
Jett.s restaurant. wheie.Ietl "made his- fort
une. Holh buildings are in the best business lo
cation in the eitj. A good chance Tor the
tight man.
For particulars apply to
Casper ijALTKs.
Cennanla Saloon.
The Gem Saloon.
The Popular Resort for Astorians.
For the ,
Finest of Wines and Liquors
Co to THE OEM -A LOON.
ALEX. CAMPBELL. PROPRIET01'
E. Lemon & Co.,
Stevedores and Riggers,
PORTLAND and ASTORIA.
I'oktlanii Okhicr No. tc Noitli Front St
Furniture and Upholstering,
Mattresses Made and Repaired.
Paper Hanging. Carprts sewed
and Laid.
Furniture Sold on Commission.
Shop, corner Main and Jefferson Streets
MARTIN OLSEN.
.. rtSen
Lit a a E I IS 8
kSANFORD'S
About Geology
Geology is that branch of natural
science which treats of the structure
of the earth's crust and the mode of
formation of its rocks. It is a pleas
ant and profitable study, and to the
man who has married rich and does
not need to work, the amusement of
busting geology with the Bible, or
busting the Bible with geologv, is in
deed a great boon.
Geology goes hand in hand with
zoology, botany, physical geography,
and other kindred'sciences. Taxi
dermy, chiropody, and theologj' are
not kindled sciences.
Geologists ascertain the age of the
earth by looking at iLsteethand count
ing the wrinkles on its horns. They
have learned that the earth is not
only of great age, but that it is still
adding to its age from year to year.
It is hard to say very much of a
great science in so short an article,
and that is one great obstacle which
I am constantly running against as a
scientist. I once prepared a paper in
astronomy, entitled, "Chronological
History and Habits of the Spheres."
It was very exhaustive and weighed
four pounds. 1 sent it to a scientific
publication that was supposed to be
working for the advancement of our
race. The editor did not print it, but
vrote me a crisp and saucy postal
card requesting to call with dray and
remove my stuff before the board of
health got after it. In five short years
from that time he was a conwp. As
I write these lines I learn th ill
concealed pleasure that he .. still a
corpse. An awful dispensation of
providence in the shape of a large,
wilted cucumber laid hold upon his
vitals and cursed him with an inward
pain. He has since had the oppor
tunity by actual personal observa
tion to see whether the statements
made by me iclative to astronomy
were true. His last words were:
"Friends, Romans, and countrymen,
beware of the q-cmnber. It will w
np." It was not original, but it was
good.
The four great primary periods of
the earth's history are as follows,
viz., to-wit:
I. The Kozoic, or I am of life.
II. The Paht'ozoic, or period of an
cient life.
III. The Mesozoic. or middle period
of life.
IV. The Nec:oic, ov recent period
of life.
These are all subdivided again, and
other words more difficult to spell are
introduced into science, thus crowd
ing out the vulirar herd who cannot
afford to use high priced terms in
constant conversation.
Old timers state that the primitive
condition of the earth was extremely
damp. "With the onward march of
time, and after the lapse of millions
of years, men found that they could
get along with less and less" water,
until at last we see the pleasant,
blissful state of things. Aside from
the use of water at our summer re
sorts, that fluid is getting to be less
and less popular. And even here at
these resorts it is generally flavored
with some foreign substance.
The earth's crust is variously esti
mated in the matter of thickness.
.Some think it is 2,500 miles thick,
which would make it safe to run
heavy trains across the earth any
where on lop of a second mortgage,
while other scientists say that if we
go down one-tenth of that distance
we will reach a place where the "worm
dieth not. I do not wish to express
an opinion as to the actual depth or
thickness of Ihe earth's crust, but I
believe it is none too thick to suit me.
Thickness of the earth's crust is a
mighty good fault. We estimate the
age of a certain btrata of the earth's
formation by means of a union of our
knowledge of plant and animal life,
coupled with our geological research
and a good memory. The older sci
entists in the field "of geology do not
rely solely upon the tracks of the
haiirasaurus or the cornucopia for
their data. They simply use these
things to refresh their memory.
I wish that I had time and space
to describe some of the beautiful bac
teria and gigantic worms that for
merly inhabited the earth. Such an
aggregation of actual, living Silurian
monsters, any one of which would
make a man a fortune to-day, if il
could be kept on ice and exhibited
for one season only. You could take
a full-grown mastodon to-day, and
with no calliope, no lithographs, no
bearded lady, no clown with fourpil
lows in his pantaloons, and no iron
jawed woman, you could go across
this continent and successfully com
pete with the skating rink.
There would be but one difficulty.
Your expenses would not be heavy.
The mastodon would be willing to
board around and no one would feel
like turning a mastodon out of doors
if lie seemed to be hungry, but he
might get away from you jmd frolic
away so far in one night that you
couldn't get him for a day or two
even if you sent a detective for him.
If I had a mastodon I would rather
take him when he is young, and then
1 could make a pet of him so that he
would come and eat out of mv hand
without taking the hand off "at the
same time. A large mastodon weigh
ing a hundred tons or so is awkward,
tgo. 1 suppose that nothing is more
painful than to be stepped on by an
adult mastodon.
I hope at some future time to write
a paper for the Academy of Science
on the subject of "Deceased Fauna,
Fossiliferous Debris and Extinct
Jokes," showing how, when, and why
these early forms of animal life came
to be extinct. Bill Nye, in New
York Mercury.
A Turprntim 'oniii:tattcr
j i
I Did you ever cak? a turpentine io"j
mentation when vou were not ieeling
particularly robus:? No! l-'irt your
landlady, who is a very kind lady in
deed, in spectacles, slops a rag in a
dish of turpentine and deposes it very
: pally on the mus!es that run up
just back of the ear. On top of this
she deposits a nice white cloth, which
at intervals she wrings out in hot
water. Then you lie back upon vour
pillow and smile affably. You d"on't
see anythins so verv" bad in that.
You even essay a joke or two, just to'
snow tne lnuauiiantt that though cast
down you are not dest roved. Then
suddenly, without the least warning,
somebody lams you in the back of
the neck with the Hat side oi a red
hot shovel. At least, you think at
first that that is "what aPs you, and
in the excitement of the moment you
yell out some very audible conversa
tion, but it subsequently transpires
that it would have been wiser to with
hold your yells until later, wv they
seem better calculated to do good".
Whoever it is with the shovel now
begins to press it against you hard.
You groan aloud, at this, and if you
are a profane man, as I am airaidyou
would be, you possibly indulgent :: va
riety of quotations that cannot fail to
cause your landlady pain.
"Am 1 not almost done?" you pres
ently groan as thegood woman renews
the wrungout bandage.
" Done?" she interrogates, as she
carefully attends to getting the shove!
back in exactly the same agonizing
spot.
"Yes." vou sav, "cooked.'"
"0," the landlady kindly returns.
" it has only just begun."
Then she goes out of the room a mo
ment, yon don't know what for, but
you suspect after more turpentine.
Now you fall into a sort of horrid
nightmare, and you find your neck
locked in one of Torrey'ssand moulds,
which a sooty faced workman in a
dirty apron is pouring full of molten
brass. How it sizzles and burns.
You shriek aloud. Then you snatch
off those wet and fiery bandages, and
you fling them madly acioss the
room, just in season to catch the
landlady, who at that instant unsus
pectingly opens the door, square in
the face to her undoubted astonish
ment and alarm.
" Why," she exclaims, when she
has recovered her composure and the
rags, ' they haven't been on half
long enough, yet."
" Woman,"you scream as siie ap
proaches the bed with the clothes in
hand. " keep away with those odious
implements of wrath. Away, I say
avaunt I One step nearer and I
stretch you a living corpse at my feet !"
You don't mean this, of course, and
you couldn't do it anyway, for your
feetaie tied up in your bed-clothes;
but in your delirium you hardly know
what you say. lint the landlady
soothes your agitation with some cool
ing remarks, anoints your burning,
blistered neck in oil, and leaves you
to pleasant dreams. In the course of
six or seven hours the fire begins to
subsi le and you sink into troubled
sleep. But in the morning you find
yourself better. There is no doubt
of this. fltockland Courier-Gazette.
An Important Figure Omitted.
" I see," remarked Kbenezer Jones
to Zebedee Smith, " that the Popular
Science Monthly, speaking of a per
fect figure for a lady, says that she
should be five feet five inches tall,
thirty-one about the hnt, twenty
six and one-half about the waist,
thirty five over the hips, eleven and
one-half inches around the ball of
the arm, and six and one-half inches
around the wrist."
"Is that all the figures it gives?"
asked Zebedee.
v..- "
i e.
" It has missed the most impor
tant figure of all of them."
" What is that?"
" Vbout $500,000 in her own right."
"rittsbumh Chronicle.
Scott's Xmt:Ision ol 2ure
otl Liwr OH Willi lOpuphuspliUcs.
Almost a Specific for ConsvMqrfion.
The thousands of testimonial we have
received from sufferers who have been
perniaiit-ntK cured l Scoll's Kniulsion
satisfies us that it will cure consumption
iu its early stages, and allrvi.de if not
cure in ilr lain r stages.
A poor servant of Broome County,
N. Y.. who married the son of a rich
! man two years ago, has just had a
verdict lor JH.UIW against tier latner-in-law
awarded her on the triound
tlmt he alienated her husband's af
fections, in consequence of which
she had again to earn her own living.
A Jljsttrj.
How the linnian system ever recovers from
the bad effects of the nauseous medicines
of ten literally poured into It for the suppos
ltlve relief of d j spepsia, liver complaint, con -stlpatlon,
rheumatism and otherailiaent. is
a mvstery. The mischief done by bail medi
cines is scareelyless than that caused by dis
ease. If thev who are weak, hiliou. dvspep
tlc. constipated or rheumatic, won'd oflener
be guided by the experience of invalids who
ii:ie tlnironi'liU tpsted Hostetter's Stom.'ich
) Bitters, thev would in even Instance obtain
I the speediest aid derivable from rational
medication. llllSXIieuiriUK is;isr;in:uiii;iniu
at the same time a thoroughly safe remedy,
derived from vegetable sources, and po3sess
Inr. in consequence of its basis of pare spirits,
properties as a medicinal stimulant not to be
found iu the fiery local bitters and stimulants
often reported to by the debilitated, lyiep
ticand languid.
Notice.
"1 riL A. BALMANXO TOOK CIIAKOE OF
111. the city deliver- or 'Iiik iiaiia
loitNiNR ASTOitiAN on .'anuarv 1st. 1S8C.
He Is authori7ed to collect and receipt for
subscriptions subsequent to mat date.
.1. r HALLOKAN S CO.
To Regulate
FAVORITE HOME REMEDY is
warranted net to contain a single par
tide of Mercury cr nv injurious sub
stance, but is purely vegetable.
It will Cure all Diseases caused
by Derangement of ths Liver,
Kidneys and Stomaca.
If your Liver is out of order, then your
whole system is deransd. The blood is
impure, the breath offensive, jou have
headache, feel languid, dispirited and
nervous. To prevent a more serious con
dition, take at once biroauns
h' ?171TJ REGULATOR. If you lead a
acS W shif! sedentary life, or suffer with
iJai, W tLSJiW Ivitliu y AUVctiuns. avoid
stimulants and take buuji. Ijver Regulator.
eut: io rci.ct c
If you have e?t-n a-jythinj; hard of
digestion, or feel l.eay after meals or '
sleepless at r.islit, -t i Akc and you
u ill feel relieved ana 'or p j.'casjiitly.
If you are a misr'?l ie sufferer with
Constipation, Jw."i.i and
lliliou-iucss, seek t" i.-i at once in
Simmons Lher Kejuuit - It does not
require continual dosing, a.vl costs but a
triae. It will cure you
If you wake up in the raom.nj aith a
bitter, bad taste in j our w ut i,
f$l S ?F15 Simmons Liver Regulator It cor
j fflKP, rects the Bilious Stomach, sweetens
A &2iJU the breath, and cleanses the Furred
longue. Children often need some safe Cathar
tic and Toaic to avert approaching sicknes
Simmons Liver Regulator will reliev e Colic, Head
ache, Sick Stcmach, Indigestion, Dysentery, and
the CcmpU.n; incident to Childhood
At any time you feel your system needs
cleans r.g, toning, regulating without violent
purging, cr stimulatiag without intoxi
cating, tzxc
ktalita
PREPARED BY
J. H. ZEIUN & CO., Philadelphia, Pa,
I'KICE. St.OO.
MA.KKET3.
STAR MARKET.
WHERRY ! C0EPANY,
b nsh am! Cuwmi iiiejits,
FRUITS, BUTTER, and EGGS.
, IH'IV-MIK tK'ClDHXT IIUT1.L.
l..v. ,v.1U:y Street. AMtnrin, Og.
Washington Market.
UnJi Mreet, - Istarlu, Oicsmt.
St-lTlTrtLLY CALL THE ATTEX
s lion ut the p.iblic to the fact that the
ibow Market w Ul always be supplied with a
MM. VARIETY AXO BEST QUALITY
i
f'tdSW AUD CURED MEATS I !
V. Inch will be sold at lowest rates, whole
s.;iaiMl retail.
f srSpfczal :.tt.-ntkni Hlven to supplying
-ut:s.
B. B. Franklin,
ur - .. tk ,r
?4SSte?swg5EsaSB
: f
g.K Uu3
:i
SsSSfc
Merlato anil Cabinet-Mer,
SQUEIVTOQUA STREET,
NEXT TO TUK ASTORIA:,' KtTILT)TXG.
2?"A11 work done iu a skillful manner on
short notice at reasonable rates.
WM. EDGAR,
Dealer in
Cigars, Tobacco and Cigarettes
Meerschaum and Brier Pipe3,
GEHliE ENGLISH CUTLERY
Revolvers and Cartridges.
COKXEU MAIN AND CHENAMFS STS.
Astoria and Seaside
BAKE1UES,
ET. JACKS OX. - Proprietor
nit-best Ilrejul, Cakes and 1'astry in the City,
Tee Creams and Ornamental Work
to order
Manufacturer of Fine Candies.
Annual Meeting.
I S1HK ANNUAL MEETING OF THE I L.
in
Mi ,i.j
eflra
iSafc2f-fc?-
A. . is. Association will beheld iu t lberty
Hall at Astoria thn rveniim of Saturday Hie
lP.h Ibv., 1SSG. at T o'clock.
WAI. L. MiEWAX,
Sec.
Stockholders' Meeting.
STOCKHOLDER OF THE FISHEK
inen's Tktr. Co.are hereby notified that
n special meeting will be held at the com
pany's ofllce at Upper Astoria. Or., on Satur
day, Feb. C !SSC. at n a. m for the consider
ation of general business.
Uv order of the President.
H.E.NELSON,
Secretary.
I8 I PI Tl J'
lic'li fioy I h rod no
lid!! r IdA I 111 oduo
HAVE NO
GRAND PRIZE PARIS 1878.
THEY HAVE BEEN AWARDED
HIGHER PRIZES
AT THE VARIOUS
International Expositions
THAN THE GOODS OF ANY OTHER '
THREAD MANUFACTURER
IN THE WORLD. . ''
Qeuliiy can Always be Depended on !
EoeMcei Minus h no Otlel
HENRY DOYLE & CO., ? ; V
5 1 7 and 5 1 9 Market Streets
AKVTS gRill
Seine Twines, Eope and Netting Constantly on Hind.
THE NEW MODEA
0 isSt
A FTJLI. STOCK
The Telephone Saloon.
Tlie Finest Establishment of
the Kind in Astoria.
Especially fitted up for the Comfort aud
Convenience of those who enjoy a
Social Ola .
Tltp Iiesl or Vines and Liquors,
The Choicest Cigars.
Everything New and First-Class.
It. L. JEFFREY. Proper.
mmmi him c
ia
111
TransDortat
FOR PORTLAND !
Through Freight on Fast Time I
THE NEW
Which has been specially built for the comfort of passengers will Ieare "j
Wilson & Fisher's Dock every . i
Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 6 A.M. arriving atTortlandat I PM,
Returnln? leaves Portland every
Tuesday and Thursday at 6 A. M. arriving at Astoria at I P. HN
E-An additional trip will be made on Sunday of Eaeli Week, leaving PjrUMUl
at t) O'clock Sunday 3Iorninc Passengers b this route connwt at iMSUi
for Sound ports. U. B. SCOTT, PresMEOft
EQUAL !
.J
-
I'AL'IF
SAN FRANCi$$0,
1C VOANT.
?i..
""--a; ItANOE CAN BE HAD IN AS
l.SIs5S5 Trim rvrr . .
rim mA WW mW9
AOKftT
CALL AND EXAMINE IT. W
WILL BE PLEASED?; -
E. K. HAWE8 Is also atftuit if dr-tbe
M patent CMtiu Bft
And other flnt-dau Stovei!
Furnace "Work. SUaat Fit
tings, etc. a specialty.
ALWAYS ON HAND.
Carnalian & Coi
SUCCESSOB8 TO ?'
I. W. OASE.l
IMPORTERS AND WHOLESALE AtZ
RETAIL DEALEB3 IN
GENERAL MERCHAMDp
''orner Cheuamus and Caas streets.
. J
ASTORIA - - - OREGON
STEAMER
Company
EPHONE