m
?hc SatUf teforiati.
ASTOKIA, OREGON:
JHUKSDAY....
...MAltCH19.18
ISSUED EVERY MORNING.
(Monday excepted)
J. V. HALLORAN & COMPANY,
I'UHI.ISIIKRS AN1 lMlOrJCIKTOIt.S
ASTORIAM5U1I.DI.no. - - tSASSSTKKKl
Terms of Subscription.
Served by Carrier, per week . 15cts.
Sent by AljiH. per month ............... roots.
one year ................ S7.t0
Free of postage lo subscribers.
"AdvertUint:nt.s inserted by tlie year at
tlie rate of $2 per square per inomii. Tran
sient advertising llftv cents per square, each
insertion.
SoIIpo To Advertiser?.
The Astoria x guarantees to its ad
vertisers the large?! cirnlation of any
newspaper iuiblishPd on the Columbia
river.
"-' D. A. McInto3h ii established in bis
new place of business.
President Cleveland celebrated
hisl
forty-eighth birthday yesterday.
" Young men's social prayer meeting at
the Y. M. C. A. hall this" evening at S
o'clock. All young men are invited.
The rii.-.lnicrVa is the name of a
new paper published at 1'ortlaud. the first
number of which was printed with green
ink and issued on St- Patrick's day.
Itescuo Engine Co. No. '2 had n meeting
last night and resolved to give 100
towai-d the tournnient fund. Alert it! A
Ii. No. 1. met and resolvrd to givp .0.
The ship Astoria, which recently got in
trouble on Puget sound and was towed
clear by the tug 1nliwl.e, has had a claim
for $10,000 for salvage services handed in
to her.
Secretary of the Treasury Manning
has accepted the resignation of Chaplain
Stubbs, U. S. Shipping commissioner at
Portland. This is the lirst federal res
ignation from this state. Chaplain Up
shur still retains his )ositioii in this city.
The Fifewow Hh being repaired. The
boiler bus been raised and will be cut off
13 inches in length, and will hava new
"legs" put on. These improvement! will
be equivalent to furnishing the boat with
a new boiler. In the cabin the old
galley has been torn onl and a new line
of soats pat in. thus doubling tli suit
ing capacity.
Jeuner H.. second sou of C. L. Parker,
died at tho family residence in this city
yesterdav morning. He was but u little
over 22 yrears of age, but, like his brother
Paul, who died a short time ago he per
ished at the threshold of manhood, a
viotim to consumption. The funeral will
take place from his late residence at one
o'clock this afternoon.
Coroner Koss returned last evening
from near Clifton with tho remains of
the man found in the tide land near
Woody island last Monday. He will hold
an inquest at Wilson fc Fisher's dock at
half-past eight this morning. Several
think that the remains are those of Andy
Van Dusen, who fell off the Tom Morrh,
and was drowned last June.
'Now, Johnnie," said the teacher, "If
your father borrows $100 and promises
to pay $10 a week, how much will he
owe in sovon weeks?" "One hundred
dollars," said Johnnie. "I'm afraid you
don't know your lesson very well," re
marked the teacher. '"1 may not know
my leason very well.' Johnnie franklv
acknowledged, "but I know my father'
B. H. Freeman, a young man about 25
years old was drowned in the McKenzie
"river near the mouth of Blue river, on
Tuesday, March 3. He had killed a deer
oif an 'island. and attempted to wade
across a branch of the river toths island,
but the water being very swift his feet
slipped from under him,nnd being una
ble to regain his feet he drifted down the
current End was drowned.
AsDecialfrom Jacksonville sava that
Lewis O'Neil, who killed Lewis McDan-.
iel at AsnlancL in .Novemlier last, was
foand guilty of murder in the first de
gree Friday night, the jury being out
only one hour. The verdict is univers
ally hailed as a righteous one. and it is
improbable that a new trial will be
granted. The murder was most unpro
voked and atrocious, the victim being
old and inoffensive.
"Where woman loves, says the Seattle
Chronicle, her loyalty knows no bounds.
It is related as an instance of a recent
bank failure, not a thousand miles from
Seattle, that the day "before the institu
tion closed its doors two yonng ladies
(not any more distantly related to one of
tho bank officers), went to the young
men in whose hearts they had planted
the sweet bulbs of affection and advised
them to draw out their depesits: The
young men heeded fBe warning, and thus
were suveu. auu now u muse ikiyh uuu t
stay by the yonng ladies
Til thestars are old
And the suu grows cold.
And the leaves of the jndfcniriil book nn-
fold
they are simply no good.
The following additional particulars
have been obtained of the nre on the
steamer Gazelle, which occurred a few
days ago on the Stillaguamlsh river,
ear Florence, in Washington territory.
The steamer met with the accident as
she was effecting a landing at Florence,
between 5 and G o'clock in the afternoon.
By the accident her galley stove was
tipped over setting fire to the cabin,
winch was destroyed. The forward deck
was also somewhat burned, othorwise
the vessel is yet intact. After the acci
dent she sank, the stern of the vessel
being in the water, and only the bow
projecting. At the time she sank she
had on board a large cargo of lumber
from Utsalady. and was putting in at
Florence for an additional cargo of
shingles. No lives were lost, but the car
go and boat are a total loss, except ciotu
ine' and cabin furniture. Mrs. . Olney
and children, who were on board, had lo
jump out into the mud and water to
save themselves. The Gazelle has been
an unfortunate boat ever since it was
taken over from the Columbia river,
having been snagged and sunk several
times.
Go to Wilson & Fisher's and see
something new in window slope.
Easter Curds.
A few of the most unique designs
were received at Adler's from eastern
inaaufacturers. They are only a sam
ple lot and will be sold cheap.
Adler is always up to the times, even
to hard times, lie is now busy fixing
up five and ten cent counters on which
will be found many -useful articles.
Theywill be ready for inspection Sat
urday afternoon.
Can't slop must besold, shall be sold.
Be sold, what. Everything in Adler's
store at cost.
Geld Breastpin Fouud.
Iu front of C. L, Parker's residence.
Apply at this office.
Don't pay 25 lo 50 cents for dinner
when you can get a better one at the
Telephone for 15 cents from 11 to 2.
ror.XTY coi'kt ntoiTKniMis.
Thr
Koail IMtrirts of th Conntj ItwU
trlrtfJ. The county court adjourned yesterday.
The estates of If. Simoneu, J. M. llobb
A. GieseliuHU, Isaac Foster, A. P. Nash,
Conrad Boelling, and John Huhtalla were
acted on in probato court. In the Nash
estate the administrator was ordered to
turn in one half the amount of the pro
ceeds of the sale of the. estate, $529.61.
Geo. Flnvel. M. lingers and T. Boelling
were appointed appraisers of the estate
off. Jfoelling.
. Adolph Woweris was admitted to citi-t-nship:
also John Gromei. Irv. Stevens
was given permission to build a swinging
sate on the Walluski road. Snndry
claims were allowed, and the cannty clerk
was authorized to pay the passage of Wnv
Oliver'to England.
The roads of the count v wen- redis
tricted as follews:
District No. 1." From a ioint on
Young's bay in the middle or half sec
tion line 23, T. 8. N. ii. 10 W.. thence west"
on said meridian line to Pacific ocean,
comprising all of Clatsop county north
and west of said lines. 1. A. Abbott was
appointed supervisor.
Dial. No. 2. From a jwint in the mid
dle or.half section line section 2. T. 7. X.
If. 10 W.; thence south to township line
T. 6. N. J. 10 W.: thence west on said
township line to Pacific ocenti; thence
northerly to its intersection of the line
between Ts. 7 N. and S X.: thence ea.st to
place of beginning. -Tosiah We-it. snjer
visor. Dist. Xo.:!. From u point on the mid
dle or half hection line section 2, T. 6, X.
11.10 W.: thence due south to county line
between Tillamook and Clatsop ceunties:
thence west to Pacific ecenn: thence
northerly to township line between 1 s. (,
N., and 7. X.: thence east to place of be
ginning. J. lt4 Stanley, saiK-rvirtor.
Dist. Xo. 4. From a point on Young's
bay in middle or half section line section
2.1, T.s.N. n. lo W.: thence outh uu
said lino to township hue between J s. ."
T.f and (5 N.: thence due east along said
line to S. L. corner T. (. N. 15. i: thence
north to north line section 13 in said
T.: thence due west to X. K. corner sec
tion 17: thence due north to where it
strikes Young's rivt-r at a iwint just on-
!.oo.-ite the Walluski. 1). .1. Ingalls, su
pervisor.
District No. .. Shall comprise dona
tion land claim of S. C. Smith, J no. Mc
Clure, G. W. Cook and J. M. Shively, and
to tho ship channel where they border on
tno river, X. L. corner Tdiivelv s claim;
thence south to the section line between
sections 1(5 and 21: thence west along sec
tion Hue to Young's river. Jno. Berg
man, sujiervisor.
District Xo. fi. I$cins at the X. W.
corner Jno. Adah's donation laud claim,
thence south to the section line between
sections 16 and 21: thence east joii said
section line to John Dav's liver: thence
down said river on tho west side
thereof; thence following the shore me
andering Cathlamctbay to Tongue point.
thence down the channel or the Colum
bia to the place of beginning. B. Galla
gher, supervisor.
Dist. Xo. t. Begins at tno mouth of
John Day's river nt east side thereof.
tollowing up the river to Jtu cor. ferry
Titus claim, sec. 21, thence south follow
ing the lines between sections 25 and 2G
and 35 and 3G to south line T. 8, X. It. 9,
10W.; 1 bonce along saidT. line to the
south line T. S, X. It. S, W.; thence
along said township line to the
SK cor. of section 02, T. 8, N. It. 8. W.;
thence north along said T. line to Cath
lamet bav; thence west, following the
shore to the mouth of John Day's river
at place of beginning. Perry Titu, su
pervisor. Dist. Xo. 8. -Brgins at the SV cor.
sec. 16, T. 8, N. It. , W., on Young's
river; thence up the channel of said river
to the month of the Rlaskanine; thence
up the Klaskanine to tho middle or cen
ter line of sec 14. T. 7, N. K. 0, W.;
thence south on said line to the center of
sec. 2C iu said T.; thence east to T. Hue
betwoen T. 7, N. K. 9,. and T. 7, X. II. 8;
thence north on said line to T. 8, ii, H. 9.
W.: thence west along the south of said
T.8, N. It.il, W., to the SW cor. sec
3G; thence on the wefat line sections 2.1
and 2C and X and 'M to the XE cor. sec
23, T. 8. X. It. 9, AV.; thence due west to
the place of beginning. Thos. McGill,
supervisor.
Dist. Xo. 9. Begins at a point on
Yonng's river opposite Walluski creek,
thence south on the section line between
sections 28, 2i. 20 and 32, T. S, N. It. 9,
W.; thence due south on township line
through T. 7, X-K. 9. V., and 'J'. C, X. Ii.
9. "NY., on said section Hue to the XE cor.
sec. 17, r. G, :s'. it. y, y.'. tnence oast
along said section line to east line T. fi,
N. It. 9, W.: thence north to T. 7, X. It.
9, W. and along said T. line to the cen
ter of sec 2T. T. 7, N. It. 9, W.: thence
west along the center line of sectiouB2.ri
and 2C to the center" of 2u; thence due
north to the Klaskanine and down the
Klaskanine and Young's river to the
place of beginning. T. Bidwell, super
visor. Dist. Xo. 10. All of T. 7 X. It. 8 W.:
S Glasser, supervisor.
Dist. No. 11. Begins nt Cathlamet bay
at a point on the line bet ween sees. 20 and
21, T. 8 X. It S W., thence south to the
south line of Raid township, thence east
along said south Hue to SM. cor. sec 3G,
thence north along the township line to
Cathlamet bay: thence west along the
shore to place of beginuing: J. S. Church,
supervisor.
Dist. No. 12. All of T. 8 N., It. 7. W.
and T. 9 N. It. 7 W.;L.N. Mitchell. super
visor. Dist. Xo. 13. All of T.fl X. It. G W..
T. 8 9 It. G W.; T 7 N. It. G W., all in T. 7
N. It. .1 W. in Clatsop conuty; 1). West,
supervisor.
Dish Xo. 11 Begins at a point in the
county on the north line of T. G N. It. 5
VY.: thence south to tho south line ot T.
5 N. It. . W.; thence west along tho T.
line to the west line 1'. 5 N. It. G W., and
T. G N. It. 6 W. to the north line of T. G
N. It. G W.; thence east along said north
line to place of beginuing; ihos. Hop
kins, supervisor.
Dist. No. 15-A11 of T. C X. It. 8 W.: T.
S N. It. 8 W.: T..6 N. It. 7 W.: T. .". X. It.
7 W.: It. M. Wooden, supervisor.
Uiiohlcii's Arnica Salve.
Tun Bkst Salvi: in the world for
Cuts, Bruises, Sorcs.UIcerfi, Salt Khetuu,
Fever Soros. Tetter, Chapped Hands,
Chilblains. Corns, and all Skin Erup
tions, and positively cures Piles, or no
pay required. It is guaranteed to give
perfect satisfaction, or money refunded.
Price 25 cents per box. For sale bv W.
E. Dementi Co.
Ladies' sun hats and children's school
hats cheaper at Mrs. Eaton & Carnahan's
than yon can buy at a dry goods store.
CROW
Does not make anj- second-class Pic
tures at his New Gallery, No. GlK", on
the Roadway.
Gray sells Sackett Bros.' Al sawed
cedar shingles A full M guaranteed.
AMKMTIKS OV JOURXAUM.
'Terms of endearment" adn.it of a
wide latitude of meaning. Some people
show how much they think of a man by
abusing him. Others do it from habit.
Newspaper offices are not entirely free
from screening authors behind a handy
f'we,' though sometimes the "V comes
boldly to tho front. "We" and ''ours';
soeui to earry the day iu the amenities of
journalism. An Arizona '"editor" ad
dresses I115 rival as.,"the red-nosed idiot
who fathers the dirty little dish-rag in
this town calling itself a newspaper.' To
which his esteemed contemporary replies
that "the hell-bofu, red-headed smart
Aleck "who makes Abortive attempts to
edit the little-pateni: outside in Tender
foot City squeals lij:e a stuck pig. He
pretends lobe horrified because we drink
good liquor and have a red nose. Our
cose is onrown and we pay for liquor in
hard money,"
The I in the above specimen does not
seem to be so prominent us the nose, but
the "we" is evidently only a cloak or
mask for the personality behind it.
In Texas, however, the proudest dream
for the I is realized. One editor "keeps
it in motion" from the beginning to the
end of his paragraph. In taking charge
of his new paper, he says that he wishes
to state that he hasn't done it with a view
of amasing a fortune, "for, having been
engaged in teaching school for the last
sixteen yeurs, I have saved a pile, most of
which I "have invested in personal proier
ty in the shape of a 140-pound Texaness.
l'liave been for a long time undecided
whether to become a mule driver or an
editor, and, having at last made the iiu
port ant decision, 1 shall endeavor to con
vince everyone that I would make a good
M. D. by M. D. meaning mule driver.
An Illinois editor does not "have the
I," at least not very bad, but he 1ms the
courage of his opinion about rsomo whelp
in human form' who "on Thursday even
ing alKiut G o'clock attacked us a few
steps from our residence. The coward
concealed himself in the alley aud threw
two btoncs, not missing us ten inches.
The man who did it isono of the blackest
scoundrels at heart on earth, aud deserves
a bullet through his brain."
A Virginia editor has learned of a
"hypocrite who talks of riding us on n
rail. Why does not this man come to us
to do his talking? If he still persists in
abusing us behind our back wo shall be
compelled to let the publie know his
namo and acquaint them with some of
the act3 of his life."
The editor of the Dry Wahh. Arizona,
Lyre says: "We begin with this issue to
corral news for the Ljrr and we intend
to make things hum. We expect to please
all sensible people. As for cranks and
bullies, we give a general notice that the
editor of the Lyiv doesn't intend to get
licked, and is equally ready lo put up his
hands or his weapon to defend his rights.
A line of subscribers will be formed at
our counting-room to-morrow morniug."
"If the Lord is willing, andmothing
happens," says a Texas editor. "The ed
itor of the iletxtld will givo the road of
which ho is overseer a thorough working.
We expect to work tho road until we get
it in a'good condition, and if the paper
fails to get out next week our readers
can set it down that wawill have a good
road if we don't get out the paper."
A Salt Lake City Mormon editor says
that the unknown woman killed hero
three months ago "proves to be one of
the wives of the editor of this paper."
A Texas editor says: ""We return our
heartfelt thanks to the absent fair friend
who sent wishes for happy Christmas and
a merry New Year together with n beau
tiful white cravat typical of her purity
and innocence. We will ever cherish her
in our memory as one of the purest aud
noblest of earth's inhabitants." In re
turn he wants to be allowed to wish her
'the quintessence of a calm and happy
life," "a robe of the richest white to
mantle thy lovely form when earth -hall
know you no more,'' "a celestial harp of
the sw'ettest potes played by thy skillful
hands greeting the ears of seraphs with
new aud rapturous delight each golden
morning through all eternity."
The Arizona editor again: "We were
in Al Blodgett's saloon this week, giving
our view on Cleveland's cabinet, and in
other reaects minding our business,
when Gringo Baker came in and said we
wero a liar. Knowing him to bo drunk,
and therefore helpless, we darted out of
the saloon and ran to our office with as
much celerity as our game leg would al
low, and locked ourselves in our sanctum.
Had we not thus nobly refrained from
combat we would soon have wiped the
floor with Gringo Baker. And yet we
understand that he calls ua a red-nosed
coward. We are quite content to be
misunderstood by such men, and we reit
erate in this public mnnuer our views on
the cabinet for which Gringo called us a
liar."
The "we" is a great institution.
I'KTITIOXS.
There were only three petitions in cir
culation yesterday. If there is one thing
in this world easier than another, it is to
get a man to sign a petition. The very
fact of handing him the petition to sign
implies that he is of considerable import
ance. Besides it doesn't cost anything.
Then, again, you don't like to refuse a
Not only that but if you don't
sign it looks as though you were opposed
to the object of tho petition. And com
mon courtesy suggests that after a man
has gone to "the trouble to hunt you up
the least you can do is to sign, especially
if he asks you if you won't come out and
take something. Tho prevalence of peti
tions reminds the writer of a joke that
was played on Gen. Joe Hamilton, attor
ney general of California, several years
ago. The general was always signing a
petitien: it didn't mako any difference
if it was to pardon a convict or make an
appropriation, or go after the city coun
cil, or remove 11 nuisance, or reinstate a
policeman, or appoint or confirm or re
ject, it was all the same; Joe's signature
could always be counted on.
So some of bis friends in Sacramento
got up a petition one day and after gel
ing it numerously signed look it to the
office of tho attorney general. Joe was
there and after adjusting his glass over
hisonoeye, and humming and hawing
for a minute, ho signed it. A few days
after the governor of the state sent for
him and in aTery serious way inquired
aa to what ho meant "by signing that pe
tition." "What petition?" said General
Hamilton, who. for tho life of him.
couldn't remember what petition he j
might have signed last, "why, this,"
said Governor Irwin, producing to the
consternation of the attorney general a
formidable petition, which set forth sun
dry grave charges against "one Jo. Ham
ilton, attorney general of the common
wealth of California," and praying that
a committee of investigation be nt once
appointed to inquire into the matter,
while prominent among tho signatures
was his own. It cured him for n month
of signing petitions, "just to get rid of
him. you krow."
FrcsU Eastern and. Shealwater
Bay Oysters
Constantly on hand, cooked to any style
at Frank Fabre's. m
RIVKK AM) H.VUBOR B1I.I-
Some of the Kfatonv Yfhy There tV 5o Ap
propriation For the Columbia Kar.
Walihi!;ton Special.
It is not difficult to make plain the
causes of the defeat of the river and har
bor bill. There was a strong feeling in
the senate against being compelled to
act upon imxrtant appropriation bills
with so little lime for their proper con
sideration as the delay of the house in
passing them gave the senate: but this
did not interfero with the passage of any
of those measures except this one. which
found opponents among the strongest
advocates of liberal appropriations for
river and harbor improvements, because
of the shape in which the bill came from
the house. The senate was strongly op
posed to such n loose and slip-shod sys
tem of legislation as that attempted in
the house bill, but it is probable that
even this objectionable proposition
would have been reluctantly accepted as
the best that could be done under the
circumstances, as it was favored almost
solidly by the Democratic senators, had
it not been for the active opposition of
Messrs, Miller of New York, and Cullom
of Illinois, the latter being especially well
known as a friend of interior imp'rove
nients. These senators protested effect
ively against the proposed appropriation
of a" "lump"' sum to bo expended bv the
secretary of warupou the public works
nameu in mo river aim naroor aci or
last year, aud managed to stave off by
discussion during the closing hour of
the session the final vote on the pass
gae of the bill. The house bill fixed this
lump sura at $."".000,000. and the senate
commerce committee wanted to raise the
lump to $10,000,000, contending
that this amount was necessary to the
proper continuance of the improvements
m progress. The opposition was led by
Messrs. Miller aud Cullom. Besides their
objectiotis lo any "Innip" appropriations,
they thought that the interests of the
states they represented had lten trilled
with long'enough, and did not propose to
allow large sums to be appropriated for
unknown creeks and unvisitcd harbors
throughout the country, but especially in
the south, while congress, yearafteryear.
declined to construct the Hennepin canal
or make the improvements demanded by
the commerce of Xcw York and the
northwest. In a speech of some length
Senator Cnllcm argued that the esti
mates of the secretary of the treasury
called for bat S,000.000 this year, while
the commerce committee proposed to ap
propriate $10,000,000, aud argued that no
harm would be done by tho failure of
the bill, as the secretary of war yas au
thorized by the act of last year to draw
on the treasury for whatever amount was
necessary to preserve aud keep iu repair
the improvements for which appropria
tions were made last year. The house
committee had investigated the subject
for several weeks, and reported that it
was not necessary or advisable to spend
any money this year upon forty-threo of
the public works named in last year's act.
and yet, under tho proposed "lump" aj
propriation, they would share pro rata
with the other works named in the act.
Mr. Cullom forcibly protested against the
proposed expenditure of 5l0.000.000 with
out information as to the needs of each
locality, without discrimination as to the
necessity for each improvement aud with
out knowing how much each would be
given. Strong speeches acainst the policy
of making an unitemized appropriation
were also made by Messrs. Miller, of Xew
York, Plumb, Merrill and Krye, of the
commerce committee, and the opponents
of tho bill, who had displaced the river
and harbor bill at every opportunity dur
ing the closing hours of the session, suc
ceeded in protracting the discussion un
til it was to.) late for its passage.
lilt: MATE WASVT THEItt:.
lit ntood with his back to the railing
on tho ferry dock, bribing the sun to
shine down on his rheumatic points, when
a man came strolling up, aud they ta
inted: "Howdy, captain?"
"Howdy, captain?"
They had scarcely started conversation
when a third man appeared, aud this time
it was:
' 'Morniug, captain."
" "Morning, captain."
"Captains White and Smith, good
morning to you."
In theconrseoi three or four minutes
a man walked out of a saloon a hundred
feet away, and as lie came sauntering
down it was:
"Ah ha, captain!"
"Hello! captain!"
"Ah! captain, glad to see you!"
"Captains Smith, White and Green,
good morning."
The same programme was continued
until seven "captains' stood rubbing
their backs on tho railing. A stranger
who had observed the various meetings
and heard each man addressed by his
title, suddenly began looking around and
making inquiries for the harbor master's
grappliug-hooks.
"What's np? What dy'e want of the
grapplers?"
"I want to recover the body of the poor
fellow."
"Who?"
' Why, being you are all captains, it is
likely the mate'fell off the dock before
any of you got here! I'm going to find
one somewhere, oven if at tho bottom of
tho river!"
They all locked at him for a dreadfully
long time without as much as winking,
and when he moved away not v. man of
them betrayed himself, although there
was only one man iu the lot entitled to
be called captain. Delimit Free Pr?s.
Choice Seed Onts
For sale at .1. II. D. Gray's.
Syrup trJFis;5.
Nature"-, own true Laxathc. Pleas
ant to the palate, acceptable totheStom
ach, harmless iu its nature. painles in
its action. Cures habitual Constipation.
BilioiiMicss, Indigestion nnd kindred
ills. Cleanses the system, purities the
blood, regulates the Liver and acts on
the Bowels. Breaks up Colds, Chills
and Fever, etc. Strengthens the organs
on which it acts. Better than bitter,
nauseous Liver medicines, pills, salts
and draughts. Sample bottles free, anil
large bottles for safe by W. E. Dement
& Co., Astoria.
For DinnerParties to order, at hort
notice, go to Frank Fabre's.
Hot T.iiurli. nt the Telephone
Saloon
From 11 to 2 every day.
A fine lunch with drink or cigar. 25
cents.
No charge after two o'clock,
Jeff.
For a Neat Fitting Boot
Jr Shoe, go to P. J. Goodmans, on Che
namus street, next door to I. W. Case.
All goods of the best make and guaran
teed quality. A full stock; new goods
constantly arriving. Custom work.
WHAT THE 1501S T01.P HIM.
"I like to know about some office .un
der Cleveland?" he said as he beckoned
a lawyer across the street from the door
of his saloon.
"Well, what is it?"
"I like to know if I vhas to haf some
office. My place vhas headquarters last
fall for some Cleveland glnbs. mid all der
poys tell me I Yhas snre of something
fat."
"Then yon are looking for something?'
"Yhell. I dnnuo. Vhen Cleveland vhas
elected der poy.s began to drop in here.
One of 'em he says: What a bostmaster
you vill make for Detroit. By George! 1
vish 1 vhas yon!' Yhell, dot'tiekles me.
you know, und I treat de crowd. Pooty
soon another crowd comes in. und oue of
der poys calls eudt:
" 'Let dis convention come to pome or
der. We vhas now in der presence of der
next boss of der gustom house. I calls
for three cheers for Carl Dnnder.
"Vhen he say3 dot I feel3 good all
oafer. and it seems right to set up der
peer."
Yhell, almyst eafery uight a gang
comes aroundt my place to shake mo pv
de hand, und then somebody savs:
' 'Hip! hip! hurrah! Carl Dunder has
.Mlid nut der coming administration! He
pikds oudt der fattest oihee for himself,
und he remembers his friends mil dor
lean ones.
"Yhen somebody talks like dot I feels
shmiley und soft, und I tap a new keg of
lager. .ov 1 usee to .vk vou it 1 has
right. My jkjv Hiake says 1 iloan get a
shmell of ottice. nnd my old woman says
der poys make .1 fool of me."
"1 guess they are right.'
. "Don't you pelief I vash der gustom
house?"
"Xo, sir."
"Xor der lHstofiice?"
"Xo, sir.'
"Don't I hut some hbtee at s2.000a
vcar?"
"I doubt it."
"Wasn't I even invited down to Wash
ington to see Gleveland go mit der White
house?"
""Xot unles vou invite yourself."
"Yhell! vhefl! -So Shake nnd der old
womnn was right und der poys vash put
ting some soft soap upon me.
"Yes."
"Dot vash all right, but I like to say
somethings, nnd doau yon forget him.
To-night dot same growd gums aroundt
here, und someiwdy vhil begin lo hur
rah for der next boastmaster. You ought
to be here! Der dog vhil be loose, nnd I
half dwo glub3 handy, and you will see
fifteen in sooch a hnrry to get oudt doors
dot you palief some earthquake vhas
shaking 000 Detroit! Shust come uround
und see how a disappointed ofiice-seeker
will handle two glubs und a bull dog!"
Free l're.
IN THEPASTRY
IF
AE3 CJSS'D-
Vanilla, X.eraon, Orange, etc., flavor
VaVec, Crenmi, l'uddlngs, t:c.f a dell
cately and naturally as tho fruit from
thlch tttcy ura made.
For Strength and True Fruit
Flavor They Stand &1oiiq,
FRPAREO OWMS
Price Bdklng Powder Co.,
Chicago, 111. St. Louis, Mo
Df . Pricss Cream Baking Powder
AhO
Dr. Price's Tjupiiliu Yeast Gems,
i:?sl Dry iloj Yenst.
V?Cfte SALfcO BY GKoCKixa.
XI il MAKE UCT OSS U IAUI X.
Light Healthy Bread
The pest dry hop yeast in the world.
Broad raised by this yeost is light.whito
end wholesome like our grandmother's
delicious bread
GROCERS SELL THEW1.
PKtPiaiO BY THE
Price Baking Powder Co.,
MTrs o Dr. Pncs's special FfcYorinz Extracts,
Chicago, III. St. Louis, Mo.
l'or sale by Crrrnj.Mnnx.E & Co., Agent
Portland, Oregon
Is It IVot True?
There can be no argument as to the
qualities eential to 'a perfect remedy
for the ills arising from a disordered or
inactive condition of the Liver, iStomaelt
and Ilowels. Everyone will admit that it
should be iicrfeetly safe for old and
young of lioth sexes-, at any and all
times: that it should be acceptable both
to the taste and the stomach; that it
should never fail to act promptly and
thoroughly, yet painlessly, and it should
give strength to those organs. It is now
well known that Syrup of Figs- possess
es those qualities in a pre-eminent
degree. W.E. Dement & Co. are agents
for Astoria. Orenon.
WHAT!
Do You Tliiulc thai "JclT
of
The Chop House
Gives vou a meal for nothing, and a
glass of something to drink? "'Xot
much P but he gives a better meal and
more of it than any place in town for
23 cents. lie buys by tlie wholesale and
pays cash. "That settles it."
Private card rooms at .fefTs new sa
loon "The Telephone.
Buy your Lime of Gray at Portland
prices.
One of the finest billiard tables on the
coast at Jeff's "Telephone."
NO POISON
tjk jl ' ft && a.
fegYEtST RMS.
-
OF -
J?MWaEaiJdJfea.saKJ5a
W&mimM
Dry Goods.
CLOAKS,
WEAPS,
FANCY
GOODS. fiJtll1
5ur SrU
Etc., Etc. sgkf
'iMrs far RMSrifi;'JS!
Ginghams, Foulards, Sateens, Seersuckers,
Shirtings, Zephyrs, Lawns, Prims.
We are How Showing the Choicest
SELECTION OF
l'.v r brought to Weri: at
Wo Ime received per epret.. din.ot tro.n Xew ork importers over 11.000 yard
or Cambric Embroideries of the latest design from ."" to .".0
per cent, under former prices.
Hand Made Trochon Laces from 10 to 50 Cents per Yard.
Th.e heading
RY GOO!
; AND
Cannery for Sale."
THE MANHATTAN CANNERY
IS Ol'FKUK!) FOR SA !.!-
Iflni -! .Kifk A mill tfi
Mits. I- FALANtJOS. f
Clifton. Or.
Astoria, Ft l. 5th, ISA"..
Fine Stationery, i
Blank Books, j
School Books,
Music Books,!
SHEET 3IUSIC AXT)
PARKER HOl'SE
Shaving ai Bathing Saloon.!
Ladies Hair Dresser and Wig Maker !
AH kinds of :
HAIIi WORK MADE TO OKDKK
Ladies' Hair cutting and bhampooinj; a I
specialty. All work done in the most arris-1
tie manner and in the latest style.
It. JnIAItI, Iroj. f
Iarker House, Main St., Astoria , Or
ils3as;:aE:e3is3S3Z2:a:ssea:ii2ii:s:c:ti:iiiiKSBiiLa
a "
n
S I will remove my entire stock into the S
m
5 new store formerly occupied by U. Dixon, s
S ami will open with a larjce stock of new s
m a
S j?rods for Spring and Summer on s
s s
llIllI3BIHS:a333IZIlS13S3&3323ZI2ES13S3I3I33aSIEIIIIk3l
Jttarcli 18, '85,
885.
I
H CLOTHING,
iFURNISHINPt
GOODS,
HATS
ANI
PADC
& "" "'
isRnrdc nnrl ShnP3.
Tji
60iO;DS
eoortingl LOW PRICES.
111 iriiHPHJWiW1 ai j
V &3Jfjff-?.ZZZ3
A Lraj-nHtCSl3:ml
it nrm-iitrjn-wwsjp.Mi'i
ESfeM
ES kM LACES
CLOTHING HOUS
Astoria Bakery
.VXD
I Co,umbla Candy Fact0Py.
., . ,
Va. .Jarksoii. Proprietor.
.
i Candies.
- - 20 Cta per lb.
j Hroa1, Piw and Cake' delivered every
I
Agents for Stock's
Little Giant, and
Kranich and Bach's Pianos,
Taber, and Western
Cottage Organs,
MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS.
FOR SALE.
One E. W. BLISS, Latest Improved
HOWE SOLDERiNG MACHINE,
With West's Crimper attached.
This Jtnrlilne is Nearly Xew anil Is Sold for
Want of Use.
Address
(tF.O. X7. DUNBAR'S SON'S,
New Orleans, La.
33. &. MoHTTOSS,
& REED