m ?hc SatUf teforiati. ASTOKIA, OREGON: JHUKSDAY.... ...MAltCH19.18 ISSUED EVERY MORNING. (Monday excepted) J. V. HALLORAN & COMPANY, I'UHI.ISIIKRS AN1 lMlOrJCIKTOIt.S ASTORIAM5U1I.DI.no. - - tSASSSTKKKl Terms of Subscription. Served by Carrier, per week . 15cts. Sent by AljiH. per month ............... roots. one year ................ S7.t0 Free of postage lo subscribers. "AdvertUint:nt.s inserted by tlie year at tlie rate of $2 per square per inomii. Tran sient advertising llftv cents per square, each insertion. SoIIpo To Advertiser?. The Astoria x guarantees to its ad vertisers the large?! cirnlation of any newspaper iuiblishPd on the Columbia river. "-' D. A. McInto3h ii established in bis new place of business. President Cleveland celebrated hisl forty-eighth birthday yesterday. " Young men's social prayer meeting at the Y. M. C. A. hall this" evening at S o'clock. All young men are invited. The rii.-.lnicrVa is the name of a new paper published at 1'ortlaud. the first number of which was printed with green ink and issued on St- Patrick's day. Itescuo Engine Co. No. '2 had n meeting last night and resolved to give 100 towai-d the tournnient fund. Alert it! A Ii. No. 1. met and resolvrd to givp .0. The ship Astoria, which recently got in trouble on Puget sound and was towed clear by the tug 1nliwl.e, has had a claim for $10,000 for salvage services handed in to her. Secretary of the Treasury Manning has accepted the resignation of Chaplain Stubbs, U. S. Shipping commissioner at Portland. This is the lirst federal res ignation from this state. Chaplain Up shur still retains his )ositioii in this city. The Fifewow Hh being repaired. The boiler bus been raised and will be cut off 13 inches in length, and will hava new "legs" put on. These improvement! will be equivalent to furnishing the boat with a new boiler. In the cabin the old galley has been torn onl and a new line of soats pat in. thus doubling tli suit ing capacity. Jeuner H.. second sou of C. L. Parker, died at tho family residence in this city yesterdav morning. He was but u little over 22 yrears of age, but, like his brother Paul, who died a short time ago he per ished at the threshold of manhood, a viotim to consumption. The funeral will take place from his late residence at one o'clock this afternoon. Coroner Koss returned last evening from near Clifton with tho remains of the man found in the tide land near Woody island last Monday. He will hold an inquest at Wilson fc Fisher's dock at half-past eight this morning. Several think that the remains are those of Andy Van Dusen, who fell off the Tom Morrh, and was drowned last June. 'Now, Johnnie," said the teacher, "If your father borrows $100 and promises to pay $10 a week, how much will he owe in sovon weeks?" "One hundred dollars," said Johnnie. "I'm afraid you don't know your lesson very well," re marked the teacher. '"1 may not know my leason very well.' Johnnie franklv acknowledged, "but I know my father' B. H. Freeman, a young man about 25 years old was drowned in the McKenzie "river near the mouth of Blue river, on Tuesday, March 3. He had killed a deer oif an 'island. and attempted to wade across a branch of the river toths island, but the water being very swift his feet slipped from under him,nnd being una ble to regain his feet he drifted down the current End was drowned. AsDecialfrom Jacksonville sava that Lewis O'Neil, who killed Lewis McDan-. iel at AsnlancL in .Novemlier last, was foand guilty of murder in the first de gree Friday night, the jury being out only one hour. The verdict is univers ally hailed as a righteous one. and it is improbable that a new trial will be granted. The murder was most unpro voked and atrocious, the victim being old and inoffensive. "Where woman loves, says the Seattle Chronicle, her loyalty knows no bounds. It is related as an instance of a recent bank failure, not a thousand miles from Seattle, that the day "before the institu tion closed its doors two yonng ladies (not any more distantly related to one of tho bank officers), went to the young men in whose hearts they had planted the sweet bulbs of affection and advised them to draw out their depesits: The young men heeded fBe warning, and thus were suveu. auu now u muse ikiyh uuu t stay by the yonng ladies Til thestars are old And the suu grows cold. And the leaves of the jndfcniriil book nn- fold they are simply no good. The following additional particulars have been obtained of the nre on the steamer Gazelle, which occurred a few days ago on the Stillaguamlsh river, ear Florence, in Washington territory. The steamer met with the accident as she was effecting a landing at Florence, between 5 and G o'clock in the afternoon. By the accident her galley stove was tipped over setting fire to the cabin, winch was destroyed. The forward deck was also somewhat burned, othorwise the vessel is yet intact. After the acci dent she sank, the stern of the vessel being in the water, and only the bow projecting. At the time she sank she had on board a large cargo of lumber from Utsalady. and was putting in at Florence for an additional cargo of shingles. No lives were lost, but the car go and boat are a total loss, except ciotu ine' and cabin furniture. Mrs. . Olney and children, who were on board, had lo jump out into the mud and water to save themselves. The Gazelle has been an unfortunate boat ever since it was taken over from the Columbia river, having been snagged and sunk several times. Go to Wilson & Fisher's and see something new in window slope. Easter Curds. A few of the most unique designs were received at Adler's from eastern inaaufacturers. They are only a sam ple lot and will be sold cheap. Adler is always up to the times, even to hard times, lie is now busy fixing up five and ten cent counters on which will be found many -useful articles. Theywill be ready for inspection Sat urday afternoon. Can't slop must besold, shall be sold. Be sold, what. Everything in Adler's store at cost. Geld Breastpin Fouud. Iu front of C. L, Parker's residence. Apply at this office. Don't pay 25 lo 50 cents for dinner when you can get a better one at the Telephone for 15 cents from 11 to 2. ror.XTY coi'kt ntoiTKniMis. Thr Koail IMtrirts of th Conntj ItwU trlrtfJ. The county court adjourned yesterday. The estates of If. Simoneu, J. M. llobb A. GieseliuHU, Isaac Foster, A. P. Nash, Conrad Boelling, and John Huhtalla were acted on in probato court. In the Nash estate the administrator was ordered to turn in one half the amount of the pro ceeds of the sale of the. estate, $529.61. Geo. Flnvel. M. lingers and T. Boelling were appointed appraisers of the estate off. Jfoelling. . Adolph Woweris was admitted to citi-t-nship: also John Gromei. Irv. Stevens was given permission to build a swinging sate on the Walluski road. Snndry claims were allowed, and the cannty clerk was authorized to pay the passage of Wnv Oliver'to England. The roads of the count v wen- redis tricted as follews: District No. 1." From a ioint on Young's bay in the middle or half sec tion line 23, T. 8. N. ii. 10 W.. thence west" on said meridian line to Pacific ocean, comprising all of Clatsop county north and west of said lines. 1. A. Abbott was appointed supervisor. Dial. No. 2. From a jwint in the mid dle or.half section line section 2. T. 7. X. If. 10 W.; thence south to township line T. 6. N. J. 10 W.: thence west on said township line to Pacific ocenti; thence northerly to its intersection of the line between Ts. 7 N. and S X.: thence ea.st to place of beginning. -Tosiah We-it. snjer visor. Dist. Xo.:!. From u point on the mid dle or half hection line section 2, T. 6, X. 11.10 W.: thence due south to county line between Tillamook and Clatsop ceunties: thence west to Pacific ecenn: thence northerly to township line between 1 s. (, N., and 7. X.: thence east to place of be ginning. J. lt4 Stanley, saiK-rvirtor. Dist. Xo. 4. From a point on Young's bay in middle or half section line section 2.1, T.s.N. n. lo W.: thence outh uu said lino to township hue between J s. ." T.f and (5 N.: thence due east along said line to S. L. corner T. (. N. 15. i: thence north to north line section 13 in said T.: thence due west to X. K. corner sec tion 17: thence due north to where it strikes Young's rivt-r at a iwint just on- !.oo.-ite the Walluski. 1). .1. Ingalls, su pervisor. District No. .. Shall comprise dona tion land claim of S. C. Smith, J no. Mc Clure, G. W. Cook and J. M. Shively, and to tho ship channel where they border on tno river, X. L. corner Tdiivelv s claim; thence south to the section line between sections 1(5 and 21: thence west along sec tion Hue to Young's river. Jno. Berg man, sujiervisor. District Xo. fi. I$cins at the X. W. corner Jno. Adah's donation laud claim, thence south to the section line between sections 16 and 21: thence east joii said section line to John Dav's liver: thence down said river on tho west side thereof; thence following the shore me andering Cathlamctbay to Tongue point. thence down the channel or the Colum bia to the place of beginning. B. Galla gher, supervisor. Dist. Xo. t. Begins at tno mouth of John Day's river nt east side thereof. tollowing up the river to Jtu cor. ferry Titus claim, sec. 21, thence south follow ing the lines between sections 25 and 2G and 35 and 3G to south line T. 8, X. It. 9, 10W.; 1 bonce along saidT. line to the south line T. S, X. It. S, W.; thence along said township line to the SK cor. of section 02, T. 8, N. It. 8. W.; thence north along said T. line to Cath lamet bav; thence west, following the shore to the mouth of John Day's river at place of beginning. Perry Titu, su pervisor. Dist. Xo. 8. -Brgins at the SV cor. sec. 16, T. 8, N. It. , W., on Young's river; thence up the channel of said river to the month of the Rlaskanine; thence up the Klaskanine to tho middle or cen ter line of sec 14. T. 7, N. K. 0, W.; thence south on said line to the center of sec. 2C iu said T.; thence east to T. Hue betwoen T. 7, N. K. 9,. and T. 7, X. II. 8; thence north on said line to T. 8, ii, H. 9. W.: thence west along the south of said T.8, N. It.il, W., to the SW cor. sec 3G; thence on the wefat line sections 2.1 and 2C and X and 'M to the XE cor. sec 23, T. 8. X. It. 9, AV.; thence due west to the place of beginning. Thos. McGill, supervisor. Dist. Xo. 9. Begins at a point on Yonng's river opposite Walluski creek, thence south on the section line between sections 28, 2i. 20 and 32, T. S, N. It. 9, W.; thence due south on township line through T. 7, X-K. 9. V., and 'J'. C, X. Ii. 9. "NY., on said section Hue to the XE cor. sec. 17, r. G, :s'. it. y, y.'. tnence oast along said section line to east line T. fi, N. It. 9, W.: thence north to T. 7, X. It. 9, W. and along said T. line to the cen ter of sec 2T. T. 7, N. It. 9, W.: thence west along the center line of sectiouB2.ri and 2C to the center" of 2u; thence due north to the Klaskanine and down the Klaskanine and Young's river to the place of beginning. T. Bidwell, super visor. Dist. Xo. 10. All of T. 7 X. It. 8 W.: S Glasser, supervisor. Dist. No. 11. Begins nt Cathlamet bay at a point on the line bet ween sees. 20 and 21, T. 8 X. It S W., thence south to the south line of Raid township, thence east along said south Hue to SM. cor. sec 3G, thence north along the township line to Cathlamet bay: thence west along the shore to place of beginuing: J. S. Church, supervisor. Dist. No. 12. All of T. 8 N., It. 7. W. and T. 9 N. It. 7 W.;L.N. Mitchell. super visor. Dist. Xo. 13. All of T.fl X. It. G W.. T. 8 9 It. G W.; T 7 N. It. G W., all in T. 7 N. It. .1 W. in Clatsop conuty; 1). West, supervisor. Dish Xo. 11 Begins at a point in the county on the north line of T. G N. It. 5 VY.: thence south to tho south line ot T. 5 N. It. . W.; thence west along tho T. line to the west line 1'. 5 N. It. G W., and T. G N. It. 6 W. to the north line of T. G N. It. G W.; thence east along said north line to place of beginuing; ihos. Hop kins, supervisor. Dist. No. 15-A11 of T. C X. It. 8 W.: T. S N. It. 8 W.: T..6 N. It. 7 W.: T. .". X. It. 7 W.: It. M. Wooden, supervisor. Uiiohlcii's Arnica Salve. Tun Bkst Salvi: in the world for Cuts, Bruises, Sorcs.UIcerfi, Salt Khetuu, Fever Soros. Tetter, Chapped Hands, Chilblains. Corns, and all Skin Erup tions, and positively cures Piles, or no pay required. It is guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction, or money refunded. Price 25 cents per box. For sale bv W. E. Dementi Co. Ladies' sun hats and children's school hats cheaper at Mrs. Eaton & Carnahan's than yon can buy at a dry goods store. CROW Does not make anj- second-class Pic tures at his New Gallery, No. GlK", on the Roadway. Gray sells Sackett Bros.' Al sawed cedar shingles A full M guaranteed. AMKMTIKS OV JOURXAUM. 'Terms of endearment" adn.it of a wide latitude of meaning. Some people show how much they think of a man by abusing him. Others do it from habit. Newspaper offices are not entirely free from screening authors behind a handy f'we,' though sometimes the "V comes boldly to tho front. "We" and ''ours'; soeui to earry the day iu the amenities of journalism. An Arizona '"editor" ad dresses I115 rival as.,"the red-nosed idiot who fathers the dirty little dish-rag in this town calling itself a newspaper.' To which his esteemed contemporary replies that "the hell-bofu, red-headed smart Aleck "who makes Abortive attempts to edit the little-pateni: outside in Tender foot City squeals lij:e a stuck pig. He pretends lobe horrified because we drink good liquor and have a red nose. Our cose is onrown and we pay for liquor in hard money," The I in the above specimen does not seem to be so prominent us the nose, but the "we" is evidently only a cloak or mask for the personality behind it. In Texas, however, the proudest dream for the I is realized. One editor "keeps it in motion" from the beginning to the end of his paragraph. In taking charge of his new paper, he says that he wishes to state that he hasn't done it with a view of amasing a fortune, "for, having been engaged in teaching school for the last sixteen yeurs, I have saved a pile, most of which I "have invested in personal proier ty in the shape of a 140-pound Texaness. l'liave been for a long time undecided whether to become a mule driver or an editor, and, having at last made the iiu port ant decision, 1 shall endeavor to con vince everyone that I would make a good M. D. by M. D. meaning mule driver. An Illinois editor does not "have the I," at least not very bad, but he 1ms the courage of his opinion about rsomo whelp in human form' who "on Thursday even ing alKiut G o'clock attacked us a few steps from our residence. The coward concealed himself in the alley aud threw two btoncs, not missing us ten inches. The man who did it isono of the blackest scoundrels at heart on earth, aud deserves a bullet through his brain." A Virginia editor has learned of a "hypocrite who talks of riding us on n rail. Why does not this man come to us to do his talking? If he still persists in abusing us behind our back wo shall be compelled to let the publie know his namo and acquaint them with some of the act3 of his life." The editor of the Dry Wahh. Arizona, Lyre says: "We begin with this issue to corral news for the Ljrr and we intend to make things hum. We expect to please all sensible people. As for cranks and bullies, we give a general notice that the editor of the Lyiv doesn't intend to get licked, and is equally ready lo put up his hands or his weapon to defend his rights. A line of subscribers will be formed at our counting-room to-morrow morniug." "If the Lord is willing, andmothing happens," says a Texas editor. "The ed itor of the iletxtld will givo the road of which ho is overseer a thorough working. We expect to work tho road until we get it in a'good condition, and if the paper fails to get out next week our readers can set it down that wawill have a good road if we don't get out the paper." A Salt Lake City Mormon editor says that the unknown woman killed hero three months ago "proves to be one of the wives of the editor of this paper." A Texas editor says: ""We return our heartfelt thanks to the absent fair friend who sent wishes for happy Christmas and a merry New Year together with n beau tiful white cravat typical of her purity and innocence. We will ever cherish her in our memory as one of the purest aud noblest of earth's inhabitants." In re turn he wants to be allowed to wish her 'the quintessence of a calm and happy life," "a robe of the richest white to mantle thy lovely form when earth -hall know you no more,'' "a celestial harp of the sw'ettest potes played by thy skillful hands greeting the ears of seraphs with new aud rapturous delight each golden morning through all eternity." The Arizona editor again: "We were in Al Blodgett's saloon this week, giving our view on Cleveland's cabinet, and in other reaects minding our business, when Gringo Baker came in and said we wero a liar. Knowing him to bo drunk, and therefore helpless, we darted out of the saloon and ran to our office with as much celerity as our game leg would al low, and locked ourselves in our sanctum. Had we not thus nobly refrained from combat we would soon have wiped the floor with Gringo Baker. And yet we understand that he calls ua a red-nosed coward. We are quite content to be misunderstood by such men, and we reit erate in this public mnnuer our views on the cabinet for which Gringo called us a liar." The "we" is a great institution. I'KTITIOXS. There were only three petitions in cir culation yesterday. If there is one thing in this world easier than another, it is to get a man to sign a petition. The very fact of handing him the petition to sign implies that he is of considerable import ance. Besides it doesn't cost anything. Then, again, you don't like to refuse a Not only that but if you don't sign it looks as though you were opposed to the object of tho petition. And com mon courtesy suggests that after a man has gone to "the trouble to hunt you up the least you can do is to sign, especially if he asks you if you won't come out and take something. Tho prevalence of peti tions reminds the writer of a joke that was played on Gen. Joe Hamilton, attor ney general of California, several years ago. The general was always signing a petitien: it didn't mako any difference if it was to pardon a convict or make an appropriation, or go after the city coun cil, or remove 11 nuisance, or reinstate a policeman, or appoint or confirm or re ject, it was all the same; Joe's signature could always be counted on. So some of bis friends in Sacramento got up a petition one day and after gel ing it numerously signed look it to the office of tho attorney general. Joe was there and after adjusting his glass over hisonoeye, and humming and hawing for a minute, ho signed it. A few days after the governor of the state sent for him and in aTery serious way inquired aa to what ho meant "by signing that pe tition." "What petition?" said General Hamilton, who. for tho life of him. couldn't remember what petition he j might have signed last, "why, this," said Governor Irwin, producing to the consternation of the attorney general a formidable petition, which set forth sun dry grave charges against "one Jo. Ham ilton, attorney general of the common wealth of California," and praying that a committee of investigation be nt once appointed to inquire into the matter, while prominent among tho signatures was his own. It cured him for n month of signing petitions, "just to get rid of him. you krow." FrcsU Eastern and. Shealwater Bay Oysters Constantly on hand, cooked to any style at Frank Fabre's. m RIVKK AM) H.VUBOR B1I.I- Some of the Kfatonv Yfhy There tV 5o Ap propriation For the Columbia Kar. Walihi!;ton Special. It is not difficult to make plain the causes of the defeat of the river and har bor bill. There was a strong feeling in the senate against being compelled to act upon imxrtant appropriation bills with so little lime for their proper con sideration as the delay of the house in passing them gave the senate: but this did not interfero with the passage of any of those measures except this one. which found opponents among the strongest advocates of liberal appropriations for river and harbor improvements, because of the shape in which the bill came from the house. The senate was strongly op posed to such n loose and slip-shod sys tem of legislation as that attempted in the house bill, but it is probable that even this objectionable proposition would have been reluctantly accepted as the best that could be done under the circumstances, as it was favored almost solidly by the Democratic senators, had it not been for the active opposition of Messrs, Miller of New York, and Cullom of Illinois, the latter being especially well known as a friend of interior imp'rove nients. These senators protested effect ively against the proposed appropriation of a" "lump"' sum to bo expended bv the secretary of warupou the public works nameu in mo river aim naroor aci or last year, aud managed to stave off by discussion during the closing hour of the session the final vote on the pass gae of the bill. The house bill fixed this lump sura at $."".000,000. and the senate commerce committee wanted to raise the lump to $10,000,000, contending that this amount was necessary to the proper continuance of the improvements m progress. The opposition was led by Messrs. Miller aud Cullom. Besides their objectiotis lo any "Innip" appropriations, they thought that the interests of the states they represented had lten trilled with long'enough, and did not propose to allow large sums to be appropriated for unknown creeks and unvisitcd harbors throughout the country, but especially in the south, while congress, yearafteryear. declined to construct the Hennepin canal or make the improvements demanded by the commerce of Xcw York and the northwest. In a speech of some length Senator Cnllcm argued that the esti mates of the secretary of the treasury called for bat S,000.000 this year, while the commerce committee proposed to ap propriate $10,000,000, aud argued that no harm would be done by tho failure of the bill, as the secretary of war yas au thorized by the act of last year to draw on the treasury for whatever amount was necessary to preserve aud keep iu repair the improvements for which appropria tions were made last year. The house committee had investigated the subject for several weeks, and reported that it was not necessary or advisable to spend any money this year upon forty-threo of the public works named in last year's act. and yet, under tho proposed "lump" aj propriation, they would share pro rata with the other works named in the act. Mr. Cullom forcibly protested against the proposed expenditure of 5l0.000.000 with out information as to the needs of each locality, without discrimination as to the necessity for each improvement aud with out knowing how much each would be given. Strong speeches acainst the policy of making an unitemized appropriation were also made by Messrs. Miller, of Xew York, Plumb, Merrill and Krye, of the commerce committee, and the opponents of tho bill, who had displaced the river and harbor bill at every opportunity dur ing the closing hours of the session, suc ceeded in protracting the discussion un til it was to.) late for its passage. lilt: MATE WASVT THEItt:. lit ntood with his back to the railing on tho ferry dock, bribing the sun to shine down on his rheumatic points, when a man came strolling up, aud they ta inted: "Howdy, captain?" "Howdy, captain?" They had scarcely started conversation when a third man appeared, aud this time it was: ' 'Morniug, captain." " "Morning, captain." "Captains White and Smith, good morning to you." In theconrseoi three or four minutes a man walked out of a saloon a hundred feet away, and as lie came sauntering down it was: "Ah ha, captain!" "Hello! captain!" "Ah! captain, glad to see you!" "Captains Smith, White and Green, good morning." The same programme was continued until seven "captains' stood rubbing their backs on tho railing. A stranger who had observed the various meetings and heard each man addressed by his title, suddenly began looking around and making inquiries for the harbor master's grappliug-hooks. "What's np? What dy'e want of the grapplers?" "I want to recover the body of the poor fellow." "Who?" ' Why, being you are all captains, it is likely the mate'fell off the dock before any of you got here! I'm going to find one somewhere, oven if at tho bottom of tho river!" They all locked at him for a dreadfully long time without as much as winking, and when he moved away not v. man of them betrayed himself, although there was only one man iu the lot entitled to be called captain. Delimit Free Pr?s. Choice Seed Onts For sale at .1. II. D. Gray's. Syrup trJFis;5. Nature"-, own true Laxathc. Pleas ant to the palate, acceptable totheStom ach, harmless iu its nature. painles in its action. Cures habitual Constipation. BilioiiMicss, Indigestion nnd kindred ills. Cleanses the system, purities the blood, regulates the Liver and acts on the Bowels. Breaks up Colds, Chills and Fever, etc. Strengthens the organs on which it acts. Better than bitter, nauseous Liver medicines, pills, salts and draughts. Sample bottles free, anil large bottles for safe by W. E. Dement & Co., Astoria. For DinnerParties to order, at hort notice, go to Frank Fabre's. Hot T.iiurli. nt the Telephone Saloon From 11 to 2 every day. A fine lunch with drink or cigar. 25 cents. No charge after two o'clock, Jeff. For a Neat Fitting Boot Jr Shoe, go to P. J. Goodmans, on Che namus street, next door to I. W. Case. All goods of the best make and guaran teed quality. A full stock; new goods constantly arriving. Custom work. WHAT THE 1501S T01.P HIM. "I like to know about some office .un der Cleveland?" he said as he beckoned a lawyer across the street from the door of his saloon. "Well, what is it?" "I like to know if I vhas to haf some office. My place vhas headquarters last fall for some Cleveland glnbs. mid all der poys tell me I Yhas snre of something fat." "Then yon are looking for something?' "Yhell. I dnnuo. Vhen Cleveland vhas elected der poy.s began to drop in here. One of 'em he says: What a bostmaster you vill make for Detroit. By George! 1 vish 1 vhas yon!' Yhell, dot'tiekles me. you know, und I treat de crowd. Pooty soon another crowd comes in. und oue of der poys calls eudt: " 'Let dis convention come to pome or der. We vhas now in der presence of der next boss of der gustom house. I calls for three cheers for Carl Dnnder. "Vhen he say3 dot I feel3 good all oafer. and it seems right to set up der peer." Yhell, almyst eafery uight a gang comes aroundt my place to shake mo pv de hand, und then somebody savs: ' 'Hip! hip! hurrah! Carl Dunder has .Mlid nut der coming administration! He pikds oudt der fattest oihee for himself, und he remembers his friends mil dor lean ones. "Yhen somebody talks like dot I feels shmiley und soft, und I tap a new keg of lager. .ov 1 usee to .vk vou it 1 has right. My jkjv Hiake says 1 iloan get a shmell of ottice. nnd my old woman says der poys make .1 fool of me." "1 guess they are right.' . "Don't you pelief I vash der gustom house?" "Xo, sir." "Xor der lHstofiice?" "Xo, sir.' "Don't I hut some hbtee at s2.000a vcar?" "I doubt it." "Wasn't I even invited down to Wash ington to see Gleveland go mit der White house?" ""Xot unles vou invite yourself." "Yhell! vhefl! -So Shake nnd der old womnn was right und der poys vash put ting some soft soap upon me. "Yes." "Dot vash all right, but I like to say somethings, nnd doau yon forget him. To-night dot same growd gums aroundt here, und someiwdy vhil begin lo hur rah for der next boastmaster. You ought to be here! Der dog vhil be loose, nnd I half dwo glub3 handy, and you will see fifteen in sooch a hnrry to get oudt doors dot you palief some earthquake vhas shaking 000 Detroit! Shust come uround und see how a disappointed ofiice-seeker will handle two glubs und a bull dog!" Free l're. IN THEPASTRY IF AE3 CJSS'D- Vanilla, X.eraon, Orange, etc., flavor VaVec, Crenmi, l'uddlngs, t:c.f a dell cately and naturally as tho fruit from thlch tttcy ura made. For Strength and True Fruit Flavor They Stand &1oiiq, FRPAREO OWMS Price Bdklng Powder Co., Chicago, 111. St. Louis, Mo Df . Pricss Cream Baking Powder AhO Dr. Price's Tjupiiliu Yeast Gems, i:?sl Dry iloj Yenst. V?Cfte SALfcO BY GKoCKixa. XI il MAKE UCT OSS U IAUI X. Light Healthy Bread The pest dry hop yeast in the world. Broad raised by this yeost is light.whito end wholesome like our grandmother's delicious bread GROCERS SELL THEW1. PKtPiaiO BY THE Price Baking Powder Co., MTrs o Dr. Pncs's special FfcYorinz Extracts, Chicago, III. St. Louis, Mo. l'or sale by Crrrnj.Mnnx.E & Co., Agent Portland, Oregon Is It IVot True? There can be no argument as to the qualities eential to 'a perfect remedy for the ills arising from a disordered or inactive condition of the Liver, iStomaelt and Ilowels. Everyone will admit that it should be iicrfeetly safe for old and young of lioth sexes-, at any and all times: that it should be acceptable both to the taste and the stomach; that it should never fail to act promptly and thoroughly, yet painlessly, and it should give strength to those organs. It is now well known that Syrup of Figs- possess es those qualities in a pre-eminent degree. W.E. Dement & Co. are agents for Astoria. Orenon. WHAT! Do You Tliiulc thai "JclT of The Chop House Gives vou a meal for nothing, and a glass of something to drink? "'Xot much P but he gives a better meal and more of it than any place in town for 23 cents. lie buys by tlie wholesale and pays cash. "That settles it." Private card rooms at .fefTs new sa loon "The Telephone. Buy your Lime of Gray at Portland prices. One of the finest billiard tables on the coast at Jeff's "Telephone." NO POISON tjk jl ' ft && a. fegYEtST RMS. - OF - J?MWaEaiJdJfea.saKJ5a W&mimM Dry Goods. CLOAKS, WEAPS, FANCY GOODS. fiJtll1 5ur SrU Etc., Etc. sgkf 'iMrs far RMSrifi;'JS! Ginghams, Foulards, Sateens, Seersuckers, Shirtings, Zephyrs, Lawns, Prims. We are How Showing the Choicest SELECTION OF l'.v r brought to Weri: at Wo Ime received per epret.. din.ot tro.n Xew ork importers over 11.000 yard or Cambric Embroideries of the latest design from ."" to .".0 per cent, under former prices. Hand Made Trochon Laces from 10 to 50 Cents per Yard. Th.e heading RY GOO! ; AND Cannery for Sale." THE MANHATTAN CANNERY IS Ol'FKUK!) FOR SA !.!- Iflni -! .Kifk A mill tfi Mits. I- FALANtJOS. f Clifton. Or. Astoria, Ft l. 5th, ISA".. Fine Stationery, i Blank Books, j School Books, Music Books,! SHEET 3IUSIC AXT) PARKER HOl'SE Shaving ai Bathing Saloon.! Ladies Hair Dresser and Wig Maker ! AH kinds of : HAIIi WORK MADE TO OKDKK Ladies' Hair cutting and bhampooinj; a I specialty. All work done in the most arris-1 tie manner and in the latest style. It. JnIAItI, Iroj. f Iarker House, Main St., Astoria , Or ils3as;:aE:e3is3S3Z2:a:ssea:ii2ii:s:c:ti:iiiiKSBiiLa a " n S I will remove my entire stock into the S m 5 new store formerly occupied by U. Dixon, s S ami will open with a larjce stock of new s m a S j?rods for Spring and Summer on s s s llIllI3BIHS:a333IZIlS13S3&3323ZI2ES13S3I3I33aSIEIIIIk3l Jttarcli 18, '85, 885. I H CLOTHING, iFURNISHINPt GOODS, HATS ANI PADC & "" "' isRnrdc nnrl ShnP3. Tji 60iO;DS eoortingl LOW PRICES. 111 iriiHPHJWiW1 ai j V &3Jfjff-?.ZZZ3 A Lraj-nHtCSl3:ml it nrm-iitrjn-wwsjp.Mi'i ESfeM ES kM LACES CLOTHING HOUS Astoria Bakery .VXD I Co,umbla Candy Fact0Py. ., . , Va. .Jarksoii. Proprietor. . i Candies. - - 20 Cta per lb. j Hroa1, Piw and Cake' delivered every I Agents for Stock's Little Giant, and Kranich and Bach's Pianos, Taber, and Western Cottage Organs, MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS. FOR SALE. One E. W. BLISS, Latest Improved HOWE SOLDERiNG MACHINE, With West's Crimper attached. This Jtnrlilne is Nearly Xew anil Is Sold for Want of Use. Address (tF.O. X7. DUNBAR'S SON'S, New Orleans, La. 33. &. MoHTTOSS, & REED