rj lt gatttj storatt ASTORIA, OREGON: "WEDNESDAY. .MAT 21, 1664 A DOUBTING THOMAS. Considerable amusement was af forded yesterday by the receipt of a letter from San Francisco, asking among other information for the ex act state of affairs as regards the salmon catch, and intimating pretty strongly that the reports in this and other papers are "in the interest of the canners." Any man that is such a consummate ass as to think that a newspaper cooks its news to order for a certain class of customers, doesn't deserve" anything but plain talk as to his asinine pro olivities. Our advice to him is to come up here, examine the fish tallies, keep a close lookout, and if he find things different from what is reported, "make a note of it.". It may bo said in general that whether the pack be "short" or "long" is .a matter 'that time will wholly de termine. .Its just like a hand at poker. "When it comes to oalling for a show the hand speaks for itself. When the season is over it is our be lief that the pack of salmon on the Columbia river will be found to be below that of '83, in the aggregate; no amount of prophecy or statement will add one case to the total nor take one case away. It has probably never occurred to the mind of the gentleman who seeka for information that no newspaper having the slightest re gard for confidence or veracity could afford purely as a matter of business policy to make any statement that the facts would not fully substanti ate. At last we have found out what is the trouble with Mr. Tilden. This discovery has been mado by ex-Mayor Ely, who declares jositively that it is not the dread and dangerous paraly sis, but the comparatively harmless palsy. "This disease," says Mr. Ely, "is disagreeable" but not "danger ous," while paralysis is both one and the other. Mr. Tilden should be put in the race at once. Kb one of the presidential candidates on either side is absolutely sound physically. Mr. Blaine is subject to attacks of sunstroke. Mr. Edmunds is greatly troubled with dyspepsia, and Mr. Arthur has been compelled to make a long journey from "Washington to the Metropolis to consult his dentist. Ueneral Grant is compelled to use crutches. Mr. Payne, of Ohio, has the gout". Young Mr. Lincoln suf fers from rheumatism. Governor Cleveland catohes cold in the slight est refornvdraft Mr. Flower is. per haps the only exception. He is in bloom from one end of the year to the other. A itABQE number of our exchanges are speculating on the fate of Mr. "Wilcox, who recently married the yrestern poetess, Miss Ella "Wheeler. "I -will," she says in one of her ef fusions, "love the man whom my soul reveres, and kiss him blue with a fiery yearn." The declaration in the first of the above line3 is all proper enough. In fact it is an exceedingly commendable resolution on her part; but the interesting question for Mr, "Wilcox and his friends is: "Has she carried out the awful threat in the second lino, namely, to "kiss him with n fiery yearn?" The honeymoon is not yet over, and if Mr. "Wilcox is slowly turning blue the ohances are that no one will recognize him when he returns home. But why did she select blue? "Why not red, or green, or yellow, or purple? Mr. "Wilcox should get out an injunction restrain ing his poetical wife from carrying out her painted intention toward him- Utah is not the only part of our Kepublican.paradise where polygamy prevails. The Osace and Kaw Indiana have, it is asserted, -a law, which is rigorously enf orced,whereby the brave who first marries one of the daughters of a family is entitled to take all the rest of her sisters at his sweet will and pleasure. No one can marry them without his permission, which is never given except for a valuable consideration. This is a worse form of polygamy than that practiced by the Saints. These Indians receive annuities from the government The missionary should bring them to a more realizing sense of the drift of civilization The walls of the Washington mon ument are now of the height of 420 feet, and it requires nine minutes to reach the top in the elevator. Two feet a day are now being added to the shaft, which, at the height of five hundred feet, will be ready for the pyramid, which is to be fifty feet more skyward. 1 m Sis wholesale stores under the "Brooklyn bridge are in operation. The stores are each two stories high, seventy-five feet deep, and twenty- one feet wide, The average rent is nearly 82,000 a year. Other arohes , will be fitted tip and ready for occu pancy within a year. Sax Fkakoisco is to have a "new" Democratic newspaper. A gentleman named Money is to bo the editor. Money makes tho mare go, but 'tis different sometimes with a newspaper; CoxosBSS-is very bufy too busy to waate.any -time on such a little matter grant. The widow of Santa Anna in still alive, and only fifty years of age. She lives Tery plainly in the City of Mexico. Santa Anna was president of Mexico three years before she was born. She was plighted to him in her cradle, and married him when she was thirteen. According to a Canadian chronol ogist the millenium will occur in 1935. As that will bo an off-year in politics, the people will be sble to give the matter their undivided attention. The Canadian chap is . certainly thoughtfully considerate. . One of the inventions recorded in the patent office is a life-saving coffin. It will prove invaluable to many poli tically de&d men who hope to be resur rected before the blasts of November sweep them up Salt Creek. The new imperial palace at Stras- burg is to be completed in three - years, at a cost of 9150,000. it seems a preposterous piece of extrav agance, as the emperor has a dozen palacea already. An early, date has been fixed for die exhibition of the Keely motor and the stock has taken an upward turn. After all the Keely motor may "be only, a presidential boom in dis guise. Chicago is chuckling over the loot that there are nearly two hundred applications for divorce before the present term of the Massachusetts supreme judicial court 11 Tboublb is reported to be brewing amone the Indians of the Northwest territory. Spring and Indian troubles always come together. Sam Wabd, "the king of the lobby," and one of the most genial of gentle men, died at Pagli, Italy, last Mon day. NEW TO-DAY CoiiMtary Ball TO BE GIVEN TO THE Visiting Odd-Fellows ByBro. Odd-Follows ot Astoria, AT OCCIDENTAL HAIX. Wednesday Evening, May 21 it Members of the Order, with tbelr families sod friends are respectfully Invited to at tend. O. W. HOLT, T.8.JKWETT, C.A.MAY. War. BOOK, G. CHEIHTf AN8EN. Commute ot ArangemeatJ. EXTRA! "For Goodaew Sake, Btt'tSar I TId Ttu." Occidental Hall. S-GKAND FASHIONABLE EVENT !" 1--0NE NIGHT 0NLY--1 WFfDE8DAY. MAY ftStk. Engagementof the RICE'S SURPRISE PARTY And the Cuaralng California Favorite Miss Kate Castleton! Appearing In the greatestof all rsuceesses PzOzP Eepleie with New Musle. 81tuatloa and Dialogue. POPULAR PRICES. Reserved Seat - - fl.ftt) Now on sale at the New Yors Novelty Store . Steamboat and Scowmen LEINENWEBER & CO.. SAV cords of bark to transport, A coatratt for Its delivery will be let to the lowest Ud der. For further particulars apply to the turnery. - LEINENWEBER Si CO. Net Lost rvN JHE NIGHT OF MAY FOUE vteentb, above Fort Stevens, la Souta channel, about go f atnoms ol net ; 40 fathoms of ScotctUS piy,45-mesn deep,8-lncn mesh ; SO fathoms Irish, l3-plT.44-me3hdeep,jHfiCQ inesb. all In old Unes. Corks branded ,P.C. Finder .will return to T. W. Prancis'p! Co's station. Uklp&noo. County -Treasurer's Notice. THERE IS MdS'EY. IN THE COUNTY Treasury to pay all county orders pre sented prior to July 15th. 1883. All such or ders will cease to dravr Interest after this date. CHAS.EEILBOBX. Treasurer Clatsop Co. May 20th. 1884. dvr Lost. A BOUT 350 FATHOMS, XX hraruld nn th fvrkn i 42-MESH NET branded on the corks and lead. I. X. L. The under will b? liberally rewarded by calling at the I. X. L. Cannery. Picked Up. ON THE 12th, 'NEAK 4)ESDEM0NA sands, about I-w fathoms 4.5-mesn net ; orks marked Az H. Owner apply to Wm. Curtis, Hanthorn fc Co'a boat is, at Ilwaco, prove property aad nay charges. Small House For Sale w ITH A TWO-YEAES' LEASE. Apply to C. A. MAY. PEOPLE'S CANDIDATE. AwajWitk Blags aad Baltftsers! VOTE FOE P. H. FOX, THE OLD SOLDIEB, For Justice of the Peace. For Gray's Harbor THE STEAHE& A. 6. FIELD, Chartered by the Astoria and Coast. Trans portation Co., Will sail lor GRAY'S HAEBOR 00 SATURDAY, MAY 24, 1884. Eor Freight or Passage apply to J. G. Rttms t Rent ROOMS. M.l. AND 14, IN ODD 'Fellow BttUlUfcg Jo refit iBank :at Cue's B&nk, or of A J. MKaLEBTOcadtftt JUttL REPUBLICAN STATE TICKET. y" Ae0VSlS2EO , . Fob Congress. B1NGER HEEMAN. of Douglas Co. Fob Jusgb of the u?beme Coubt. Judge L. FLINN, of Linn Co. Fob Psesidential Electors. D. P. THOMPSON, of iTuljtnomah. J. C. LEASURE, of Umatilla, "WARREN TRUITT, of Polfc. Fob Judob, FIfth Judicial Dkt. F.J. TAYLOR, of Clatsop. Fob Pros. Attt. Fifth Judicial distbict. T. A. McBRIDE, of Clackamas. CJaUop Co. -Republican Ticket Fob Joint iRepbesentative, (From Clatsop and Tillamook Counties) J. H. D.GRAY. FobShebiff, GEO. P.-WHEELER. Fob County Clerk, J.O.SPENCER. Fob Count t Treasures, A. W. BERRY. FobCoukty Comjoiissiokers, D.K. WARREN r H.B. PARKER. Fob Assessob, J.F.WARREN. Fob Subyeyob, GELO F. PARKER. Fob School SuPEBiNTEifDEXT. 1I.-SLOOP. Fob Coboneb, J. C. ROSS. Aflteria Preclaet, Fop. Justice op the Peace. S.C.GOODELL. Fob Constable, J. R. CHRISTIE. SUrely Preelact. Fob Justice op the Peace, J. W. WELCH. Fob Constable, O. NELSON. REGULAR Democratic Ticket FOB CONGBESd, JOHN MYERS, of Clackamas. Judge of the Supbeme Coubt, W. W.-THAYER, of Multnomah, Pbesidential Electobs. L.B.ISON, of Baker. W. t). FENTON, of YamhllL A. C. JONES.-of Douglas. Fob Judoe,"Fifth Judicial District J A. S. BENNETT, of Wasco. Fob Pbos. Atx- Fifth Judicial Distbict, W.B.D1LLARD. CUttop County Democratic Ticket. Fob Joint Repbesestatiye. (From Clatsop and Tillamook.) C.LE1NENWEBER, Fob Shebiff, W.G. ROSS. Fob Coujjty Cleek, C. J. TREKCHARD. Fob Tbeasubeb, ISAAC BERGMAN, Fob Assessob, C.W.SUIVELY. Fob County Commissioxebss JOHN HOBSON, F.BARTflOLDES, Fob Subyeyob. N.D.RAYMOND Fob School Supebintendent. J. E. HlGGINS, Fob Coboneb. B.B. FRANKLIN. Astoria Preciact. Fob Justice of the Peace. A. A. CLEVELAND. Mklvely Frcclact. ' Fob Justice of the Peace. THOS. DEALT. THE AEW YORK. WELTI STORE ! Opposite tho Parker House. Headquarters for the Young and the Old, Books Musical Instruments, Toys Sta tionery and Noreltles ol Erery Description. All the Is4iac aMletteaii ftfceltay. Ask to he afeown the'Clirlona, the latest jy THE OewYorkNoveltA REMOVAL 1 1 J. BRANCH LEADING SUIT, A2TO DRESS GOODS OF FOS.TX&XTD9 Has removed to the store formerly occupied by A. M. Johnson & Co., second door from Cooper's. "We havf, now, an entire store, with more elbow room. The en couragement we have received from the Ladies of Astoria so far, war rants us in becoming a PERMANENT FIXTURE. "We will carry a Large and Complete Stock of Ladies' and Children's ready-made Suits, Dresses, (Ms, Wraps, Lolmans, Ulsters, Pelllses, Etc. Our Styles will Lead; our facilities for manufacturing and im porting New Style Garments being unsurpassed. OUR PRICES we are DETERMINED will be LOWER than Portland or San Francisco; our expenses being much lower. "We come to ESTABLISH A BUSINESS and retain your confidonc. ORDER DSR&RTMECTT. In the order department a complete line of samples of OUR ENTIRE STOCK, OF PORTLAND, will ho shown, to select from; in Silks, Velvets, Dress Goods, Satins, Cloths, of late inportation. Orders will be taken and Made to SUITS, CLOAKS, WRAPS or ALL CASES GUARANTEED. Our stock, in Portland, of fine French DRESS GOODS, SILKS, VELVETS, CLOTHS, is unequalled and unsurpassed. You will have a selection equal to any leading San Francisco House. Late novelties as they arrive will be immediately added to our stock; and an oqual chance given to the LADIES of ASTORIA, to purchase new and FASHIONABLE GOODS at a low and proper price. Am laspectlea Solicited, Courteous aiul I'olite Attention. Cootls Cheerfully Shown. J"- PILOEHL. 163 First and 20 Morrison SU , rortland. Next to Empire Store, Astoria, 1st Door Below Rescue Engine House. LEO. I. STOCK, Manager Astoria Branch. Carpets! Carpets! Carpets! We beg to call the attention of the public to our latest importation, direct from Eastern manufacturers, of the XikStOSSLV INVOICE O aataiuMui CARPETS k3&- Ever offered lor sale In tUU city, comprising all grades, from tho FINEST BODY BRUSSELS In the Newest Tints and Shades, To the lowest priced article In thU line. We are determined to dispose of our stock of Carpets nlthln tho next four weeks, and to that end offer special inducements, precluding tlie possibility of lteUijr. UnUemoId by cny or oar Competitors. IN THE Furniture and House Furnishing Line We can show you the very BEST GOODS at BOTTOM FIOUKES, and snail be pleased to receive a call for Inspection whether you.purchase or not, OHAS. HEILBORN. r.T.ColDH&Co.'s AGEXCY, Banking Department A General Banking and Exchauge Busi ness transacted. Every facility for prompt and satisfactory business. n Drafts on the leading cities of the United States and Europe. Deposits Received. FOR LONDON DIRECT. Tke Spleadid 100 11 IroaSklp "Aberystwith Castle," 1056 Register, B. HARMS .Master Will load for the above named port, and 81kob will be taken In lot8 to suit shippers o raaW terms. INSURANCE at minimum rates. For ptrUcvUra apply to 8IBSOX, CHUBCH A CO.. rortland. Or. or to P. L. CHERRY, Astoria. For Liverpool Direct. The fine British iron ship ESEDALE, 1220 Tons Register. lOOAl. The above vessel goes on the berth fo LIVERPOOL direct, and will take salmon in lots to suit shippers. For rates ot freight and insurance apply to BALFOUR, GUTHRIE & CO., or PortlandjOr. ALEX'R BAILLIE, Astoria, Oregon. 1 REMOVAL ! PILSER'S- OF THE HOUSE Measure bv MRS. PILGER. For any GARMENT desired, FIT IN Water! Water! Water! Wheeler &Kipp PRACTICAL Plniers,&aynfl Steam Wm ALL WORK Warranted, and Estimates Given. FULL STOCK Trou and Lead Pipe, Bath Tubs Water Closet, and Gas Fixtures. Jobbing Promptly Attended to. A SPECIALTY Is made of Tap ping Water Mains and Running Water Pipes, as We have Supe rior Facilities for doing this work Corner Squemoqua and Hamilton Streets, ASTORIA, OREGON. For County Treasurer. I HEREBY ANNOUNCE 3IYSELF AS AN Independent Candidate for COUNTY TREASURER. MAGNUS C. CROSBY, . Astoria, May 9. 18S1. NOTICE. QTATE AND-COUNTY TAXE3 A BENOW due and payable at my office. A.M. 'XtVUJUIJUX, tf - Sheria Clatsop Go. CLOAK Tor The Finest Groceries. Tor The Freshest Vegetables, For The Most Coinp! et 3 Assortment, For Absolute Satisfaction, In Filling nnd Delivering All orders, Call at FRAJSK L. Family Grocery and Corner Benton and Chenamus Streets, Opposite Custom House Square. 4993BNSEE TER apply to tho Captain, or to EMPIRE STORE RE-OPENING ! ;; Fine Goods Reduced Prices Ladies desirous of procuring Goods unequaled in Style and Finish will take pleasure in examining our Stock of SILKS, SATINS and DRESS GOODS. IN GENTS' FURNISHING DEPARTMEHT, Everything is Complete and of the best PR.AEL BROS. John A. Montgomery, DEALKU Tin, Sheet Iron and Copper Ware. A General Assortment ot HOUSEHOLD GOODS. Agents for Magee Stores and Ranges The Bast iu the market. Piumhlng goods ol all kinds on band. Job work done In a workmanlike manner. PLUMBING, GAS FITTING, AND CANNERY Attended to Promptly on Reasonable Terms. CbcnnmuH Stroot. Xoxt to O. Iu Parker's Stre. ASTORIA. THE NEW MODEL A FOLZ. STOCK Two doors east of Occident EoteL M. OLSEK. J. OU3TAP80K. A. JQBSOqS. MARTIN OLSEN &, CO. fEALF.BS IN ymS FURNITUBE. BEDDING. Corner 3Iuln and Hquemoqua Htreeta. Asterla, OresMU WINDOW SHADES AND TRIMMINGS; WALL PAPER ETC. A Complete Stock. PRICES AS CHEAP AS QUALITY WILL AFF0IB. ALE KINDS OF FURNITTJItr: ItEPAIREI AW1 VARISHE. Columbia Transportation Company. FOR PORTLAND, 0 THE PO?OLAR STEAMER FAST TIME I FLEETWOOD "Wnlch has boon refitted for the comfort of passengers will leave Wilson & FlsheYs Dock every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 6 A.M. arriving at Porttantat 1 PM. BetnrnlnjjleaYes Portland every - . Tuesday and Thursday at 6 A. M. arriving at Astoria it 1 F. It gAo add Ittonal.trlp will be made on at 9- veiecK- mustuty Aurawx- .rasaeagen u uusrouw for Sound ports. ... -" u.l.S PARKER'S Provision Store, STUAMEX CLARA. PARiEl ben P. Parker,Ma8ter. For TOWING, FREIGHT or CHAP THE I- WORK RANGB CAN BE HAD IN AS TORIA ONLY OF E. ft. KAWB9, AGENT. CALL AND BXAkOHLEf, YOB WILL BE PLEASED. K. K. HAWES Is also agent for ta find patent (Mill Sine And other uzst-class stores. Fnrmao 'Work. S Fit. tiass. tc, a iyf1ty. AIRWAYS OK HAND. . ABTOBIA. OSSQOS FAST TtMl ! Sandfty of E&ok Weck.lM