.0) VOL. XX, NO. 36. ASTORIA, OREGON, SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 11, 1883. PRICE, FIVE CENTS. . . . -w w i yTmTmr (IKNERAL HAZELS WEATHER DlttECTOHT. For at least a dozen years vre liave studied with interest the extraordi nary productions of the government printing office at "Washington. Noth ing has come to hand up to date more remarkable than a small boot just published at the expense or the taxpayers by Gen. "V. B. Hazen. It is entitled ''Weather Proverbs," and it consists of about one hundred and fifty pages of deadhead literature fit to make your hair curl. It seems to have been the ambition of Gen. Hazen to go down to poster ity as the author of a complete dicti onary of proverbs, jingles, supersti tions, witticisms, and fallacies relat ing to weather prognostication- He sent out circulars to all his observers, and to many other men and women in different parts of the world, re questing contributions. The result is a volume "prepared under the di rection of Brig, and Bv t Maj.-Gcn1! "W. B. Hazen, chief signal officer of the army, by H. H. C. Dunwoody," and published by authority of the secretary of "War." In its preface, Gen. Hazen asserts that the weather forecasts of the signal office "are not based upon the proverbs here given, but wholly upon observations and generalizations ac cepted by meteorologists." Nobody will be quite prepared to accept this statement If the proverbs, signs, and prognostics contained in Gen. Hazen's dictionary are not used in the business of the office, why does he spend his time and the people's money in collecting and publishing them? We should, prefer to believe that Gen. Hazen's predictions are based on the indications alphabetic ally presented in his astonishing lit tle book. The very first item of weather in formation is under the heading "Ass," and is as follows: 'When the ass begins to bray, Bo sure we shall have a rainy day. Proceeding down the alphabet, we learn from Gen. Hazen that "bears and coons are always restless before rain;" that "when cats sneeze it is a sign of rain, and when cats are snor ing foul weather follows;" that if a cat washes her head behind her ear, it is also a sign of rain; that rain is indicated if a dog howls when some body leaves the house; that "when the spaniel sleeps it indicates rain;" that "nigs, uneasy, grunting, and huddling together, indicate cold;" bed smes many oiuer equaxiy interesting things. Here are a few of Gen. Ha zen's facts about animals: 4 'iBxmh. If the bullJeads the van in going to pasture, rain must be ex pected; but if he is careless and al lows the cows to precede him, the weather will be uncertain." Do2ket. When the doukc3' blows his horn Tis time to house your hay and corn." "Cattle. When the cow stops and shakes her foot, it indicates that there is bad weather hehind her." The chief signal officer has also studied the habits of birds with great benefit to science: "Cocks. Cocks are said to clap their wings in an unusual manner be fore rain, and hens to rub in the dust and seem very uneasy. "If the cock moult before the hon, We shall hnve weather thick and thin, But if the hen moult before the cock. "NVe shall have weather hard as a block." "Peacocks. "When the peacock loudly bawls, Soon we'll have both rain and squalls." The compiler of the dictionary seems to be uncertain just how to in terpret the ominous voices of owls. He saj's that "owls hoot at night, ex ccpt fair weather." Moreover, "when an owl hoots or screeches sitting on the top of a house, or by the side of a window, it is said to foretell death. ' And he proceeds to remark: "The owl, as Tirgil justly observes, is more noisy at the change of wea ther, and as it often happens that patients with lingering diseases die at the change of weather, so the owl seems, by a mistaken association of ideas, to foretell the calamity. Both the screech owl and the owlet seem to be alluded to among the harmful birds in Spencer's "Fairy Queen." This is very philosophical. But Gen. Hazen's suggestions are not al ways gloomy; they are often cheerful and sometimes even sportive.: "If the sky beyond the clouds is blue, lie glad, there is a picnic for you." "When there is enough clear skv to patch a Dutchman's breeches expect lair weatner. ' Bubbles of air over clam bods. nr cording to Gen. Hiizeu, indicate rain. If a Sunday sunset is obscured, there will be rain before "Wednesday. If the skin on the bollv of the njitiisli is unusually thick, look out for a cold winter. ie lias discovered that hsh bite best "when the moon is in the tail; ' but "if the moon runs low. ex pect warm weather.' If eels are very lively, it is a sism of rain." We might fill columns with quota tions from this surnnKinc vnlnmo. which seems to have been prepared by the joint efforts of the chief signal officer, Zadkiel, and Uncle Itemus. Here are a few more of Gen. Hazen's prose axioms: "Cuttles, with their manv legs, swimming on the top of the water, presage a storm." "A winter's fog will freeze a dog." "When gnats dance in February the husbandman becomes a beggar." "The rainbow has but a bad char acter; she ever commands the rain to cease.-' "The color of a frog changing from yellow to reddish indicates rain. "When a star tows the moon and another one chases her astern, tern pestous weather will follow. The phenomenon is probably styled a big star chasing tne moon. "When snow falls in the mud it re mains all winter." 41f the geese on St Martin's day stand on ice, they will walk in mud on Christmas.' "St Patrick's Day the warm side of a stone turns up, and the broad-back goose begins to lay." "Epizootic is a name for epidemic disorders occurring among animals, of which we have many and various instances on record. The state of the electronometer and other mete orological instruments should be care fully examined during the prevalence of such pestilence." Human hair (red) curls and Kints at the approach of a storm, and re- traightens after the storm. ' It will be observed that Gen. Ha zen does not confine himself strictly to the weather, but throws m many lumps of wisdom suitable to the needs of the fishermen, the horse doctor, the barber, and the under taker. His poetical department in cludes selections from Tiigil, Shakes peare, and other favorite authors, be sides many bits that are apparently original, either with himself or with Dunwoodv. For example: "When fleas do very many grow, Then 'twill surely rain or snow. "When oager bites the thirsty flea, Clouds and rain yon sure shall see." fly on your nose, you slap and it goes, If it conies bi'ck again, it will bring a good rain.' "Onion skins very thin, Mild winter coming in: Onion skins thick aud tough. Coming winter cold and rough.' When the stars begin to huddle, The earth will soon become a puddle. Altogether, the appearance of this book marks an epoch in the govern ment publishing business. In spite of Geii.Hazen's disclaimer, it throws light on the mysterious methods of the bureau, as well as on the long journeys of inspection which tho chief signal officer finds it necessary to take durmg the summer season of the ear. He does not travel across the continent for pleasure merely. He goes because he feels it to be his dntv to discover for himself whether the ass is braying in the Ohio valley, whether the chipmunk is abundant in the lower lake region, and whether the cows are shaking their hind feet in the extreme northwest If he finds that such is the case, Gen. Hazen knows that we are going to have rain. Fraternal Ties. Judge Chewso arose to ask for in formation. He wanted to know how trong the fraternal tics of such a club should be considered. How far was he obligated? "Brother Chewso," replied the president, "I will read the follerm for your benefit: J? irst All meet heah on terms of equality, but de member who blacks stoves an' saws wood, am not 'spected to be so famil iar as to ask the barber aiming S17 a week to lend him his toofpick. Sec ondIf you find a brudder m dis tress, aid him. Dar am no particular objeckshun to takin a mortgage on his stove in case he wants to borrow fo' dollars in cash, but give him a lit tle show befo fo closin . Third Ex cuse a brndder's faults as fur as you kin, but arter he has spit on your butes about three times, you kin con clude dat he aches to be licked. Fourth Speak well of each other; avoid wrangles and slander; be ready to give good advice; encourage sobri ety an' industry, but don't let a man cick yer dog simply bekase ho sits on de stool nex' you in Paradise Hall." Detroit Free I'ress. A Human Giraffe. The tallest man in the country is said to be Henry Thurston, who first beheltl the light ot day near Jefferson City, Mo., but who now owns a cattle ranch in Texas. Mr. Thurston is seven feet seven and a half inches tall, and as he is thin and gaunt, and invariably wears a stove-pipe hat, he never fails to produce a 7ositively startling effect upon the beholder. Moreover, he has acquired several habits of posture which add to tho impression. I1 or instance, if he hap pens to feel tired when walking in the street ue is accusiomeu 10 rest mm self by dropping ins arms over a swinging sign and reclining his chin upon it. Mrs. Stouff, of Portland, who is charged with robbing her employer ot 2,000 is likely to create a sensa tion if ever brought to trial. Tho Telerram says: Under advice of counsel and interested friends, she refuses to see reporters or make any statement ot ner case, mere are some pecnliar features attending the relations of Mrs. btouff to parlies of the prosecution that will probably prevent the case from coming to trial It is pretty conclusively understood that at least two merchants of this citv will bring sufficient money or other influence to bear to stop the prosecution and cause Mrs. StoulFs release and removal from Portland. The fact that she remains in jail in default of bail is attributed to the desire of her influential friends to conceal their interest in ber. Here is something for fruit-raisers to read. It refers to the country along the North Pacific, and is from one of the pioneers to a Portland pa per: "Oregon fruit raisers, we have this whole vast country from Port land to St Paul to supply with fruit. Clear np 3our old- orchards and pay more attention to your trees. Dakota is big enough for three states. I was astonished at its vjistness. Just im agine an immense and almost bound less plain of clear prairie ready for the plow and no possibility of raising any mut on it. "A Nebraska widow with twenty- one children is advertising for a hus band." There is great virtue in print ers ink: it has brought fortunes to men and women; but we don't be lieve a double column advertisement inserted next to reading matter every day for six months, would bring husband to a widow with twenty-one children unless the latter are kept m the background, or underground, or somewhere. We dislike to go back on advertising, but the line must be drawn somewhere. One candid man in the Washington Territory legislature got up ast w,eek and stated that the body of which he was a member was passing bills which were not understood, and that he for one would quit voting for bills he did not understand. HAM Absolutely Pure. This powder never varies. A marvel o purity, strength and wbolesoajeneAs. More economical thau the ordinary kinds, and cannot be sold in competition with the mul titude of low test snort weight, alum or phosphate powders. Soldonhjin can, ltov ai 15aui.no Powder Co.. 106 Wall-st. N. . A. V. Allen, Wholesale and Retail Dealer in Provision, MILL FEED. Glass .and Plated Ware, TROPICAL AND DOMESTIC FRUITS AND VEGETABLES. Together with Wines, UquorsJobaccoXIgars Wilson & Fisher, SHIP CHANDLERS. DKAT.KRS IX iron, Steel, Coal, Anchors. Chains, TAR, PITCH, OAKUM, NAILS AND SPIKES, self Hardware, Paints and Oils STEAM PACKING, PROVISIONS. FX.OU1& AXI 3XICI. FEEIK Agents for Salem Flouring Mills, and Capita) Flour. FAIRBANKS STANDARD SCALES. All sizes, at Portland Prices, In Stork. Cornor Chenamus and Hamilton Streets ASTORIA, OREGON. LOEB & OO. JOUBKKS IN WINES. LIQUORS, AND CIGARS. AGENTS FOIt TIIK Best San Francisco Houses and Eastern Distilleries. Tumblers Decanters, and All Kinds of Saloon Supplies. Z3fAl goods sold at San Francisco Prices, MAIN STREET, OpH)slta Parker House, Astoria, Oregon. I. W. CASE, IMPOltTUK AND WHOLESALE AND KB TAIL DEALER IK GENERAL MERCHANDISE Corner Cftcnatnua and Cas "streets. ASTORIA - - - OREGON Blood Is not a "cure all," It Is a blood-puriUer and tonic, impurity or tne uiooa poisons me sys tern, denmtres tne circulation, and thus In duces manv disorders, known by different names to distlmruLsh them according to ef fects, but being really branches or phases of uiat great Renenc disorder, impurity ei Itloed. Such are Zipepx(a, Billloitsnc&s, IAter CftmvlainL Cowtlnatlon. Kcrcous Dit- orden. Headaclie, Backache, General lreaJf nas. Heart Disease, Dropsy, Kidney DUeate, Piles, Rheumatism, Catarrh, Scrofula, Skin Disorder, Pimple. Ulcers. Siccllingi, dx.. lr. Kiiis: or the JSleed. Drevents and cures these by attacking the cause. Impurity ol the blood. Chemists and pnyslclans agree in calling it "the most genuine and efficient nrenaratlon for the nurnose" Sold by Drue- gists, 81 per bottle. See testimonials, direc tions, sc., in pamphlet, "Treatise on diseases ot tbft Blood." wrapped around each bottle. Buflalo.N.ir King of the MOTELS JLND RESTAURANTS. PARKER HOUSE, U.S. 2MJ.KKK. Prop.. ASTORIA. - - - ORKttON E. r. PARKER, - Manager and Agent. Al. CROSBY, - - Day Clerk Phil. BOWERS, - - Nljjht Clerk. Jas. DUFFY Itas the IJarani! Billiard room. Pirst Class in all Eespects. FREE COACH TO THE HOUSE. IT IS A FACT THAT JEFF'S CHOP HOUSE ON Concomly Street is the Best in Town. THAT lie lias Always on Ilnml FKUSH Shoal "Water Bay nud East ern Oysters. THAT " JEFF" IS THE BOSS CATERER. THAT lie lias been Proprietor or tue "Aurora Hotel" In KnapptOH nevenjcars. OPEN DAY AND NIGHT. A Hew Departure. At Frank Fabre's, U dally set :t TABLE D'HOTE from 6 to 7:30 PM At which A FINE FRENCH DINNER. With Half a Bottle Wine IVill be furnlHhed for 50 cents. Hoard by the "Hontli, - SI2" to S30 LodKinss cm be procured by the day. week or month. 3Iy establishment Ls fitted newly throughout, and everything m:un- ameu in tne uesisiyie. A Good Gup of Coffee AND OYSTERS. MRS. POWELL HAS OPENED AN OYS ter stand and Coffee House on Main street next to the Oregon Bakery. Every attention paid to patrons. COSMOPOLITAN hop House and Restaurant. OPEN DAY AND NIGHT. nfealH .1 cexitK una upwards. G. BOU&AHD, -MAIN STItECT. - - Proprietor. - ASTORIA. THE BEST Boarding and Lodging House. Chat. Wftllman has onenwl a boardincainl lodging houc south of O'Brien's hottl, near tne gas worKS. mnrkpt nffonLs : cood food and clean beds i no ramp is siinnupti w uii me ueav uiu will be fumisliru at tne regular prices. Give me a call anil satisiy yourselves, CIIAS. AVAL I.MAN. Astoria Kestanrant EDWARD YOUNG Announces to the public that he has located in the rooms formerly occupied by the City Book Store, where he will keep a Restaurant ai Clop House Furnishing meals to order at all hours. His natrons will find tho tables supplied with ten or twelve of the best newspapers. His reputation as former proprietor of the New England Restaurant is a sufllcieut recommendation for his new house. California Exchange The best of California and Foreign Wines and Liquors Ki-pt Constantly ou Hand Iomiatic anil Forelcii CIirarM of the best ItrandH. NATIONAL BREWERY BEER. On Concomly between Benton and I.afa yette streets. lm Ul'.UKUfc. ViUUL.lE.li. S. ARNDT & FERCIJEN, ASTORIA. - OBECON. The Pioneer Machine Shop BLACKSMITH Boiler Shop All kinds of ENGINE, CANNERY, AXI STEAMBOAT WORK Promptly attended to. A specialty made of repairing , CANNERY DIES, FOOT OF LAFAYETTE STREET. "HacJonetack." a lasting and fra trrant perfume. Price 25 and 50 cents. Sold by W.E. Dement, mmimi BUSINESS CARDS. Q R. THOHISGIV, Attorney and Counselor at Law. Koom Xo. c, over "White House, ASTORIA, OREUOX, J. XAT. HUDSON, Attorney at Xjnir.aad Notary Public. Odd Fellows Building, Astoria, Oregon, c. vr. FULTON. Q. C. FULTON". FUI.TOIX BROTHERS, ATTORNEYS AT LAW. Rooni3 5antl 6. Odd Fellows Building. J A. DOWLBY, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Chenamus treet, - - ASTORIA, OREGON C. B.31CACHRAX, Attorney at Hair. Room 4, White House. J. CUKTia, A.TTY AT LAW. N'otarv Publii?. Commissioner of Deeds for California, New York and Washington Ter ritory. Kooms s ana i. uaa r euovrs uunainz, As toria. Oregon. N. R.-C alma at wasalneton. v. o.. ana collections a specialty. Astoria Ajceat Hamburg-Magdeburg and German-American FIItK INSURANCE COMPANIES. Jg C. UOIiOKN', NOTARY PUBLIC, AUCTIONEER, COMMISSION AND IJi SURAN'CK AGENT. SURVEYOR OF Clatsop County, and City of Astoria Office :-Chenanius street. Y. M. C. A. hall Room No. & jyU, X. C BO ATM AX, Phjsician and Surgeon. looms 9 and 10, Odd Fellows Building, ASTORIA, OREGON. JAY TUTTIiE, 31. D. PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Office Rooms l. 2. and 3. Pythian Build ing. RpjiuitscK Over J. B. Thomas' Druz Store. JP P. HICKS, DENTIST, ASTORIA. ... - OREGON Rooms In Allen's bulldlntr up state, eoraer oi Lass ana ixiemocqae sires . J)K. J. K. IiRFOItCE, TJEXTIST, Room 11. Odd Fellows Building, Astoria, Or. Ga.i administered for painless extraction oi teem. MUSIC. PROF. T. F. IHEIEB. Graduate of Heidelberg University. Piano Teacher. ENERAL STEAMSHIP AGENCY. Bills of Exchange " on any Part oi Europe. T AM AGENT FOR TIE FOLLOWING X well known and commodious steamship lues. STATE LINE. BED STAR, WHITE STAR. HAMBURG-AMERICAN. DOMINION LINE, NATIONAL, and AMERICAN LINE. Prepaid tickets to or from any European nnrt. ror iuu lmonuauuu as iu rates ui .uuc, sailing days, etc, apply to 1. TY.VsA.DX. OKO. P.-WHEELKR. fV. I ItODB. Notary Public. WHEELER & E0BB. GENERAL Seal Estate i Insurance Apnts. Vie have very desirable property In As rla and UDner Astoria for sale. Also, flm farms throughout the county. Accounts carefully adjusted and collec tlons made. We represent tne Royal, Norwich UbIob and IjaHca BHire inHHrsHcc uo With a combined capital of S38.QOO.OOO THE Travelers Life and Accident lasBr an re Cs, or iiartiora, ana tne nan hattau litre Insurance Co., of New York. AVe are azent3 for the Dally and Weekly Xorthuxst i curs, and tae Oregon viactic. All business entrusted to our care will re celve prompt attention. C. H. BAIN & CO DEALERS XX Doors, Windows, Blinds, Transoms Turning, Bracket Work. SHop Worls. A specialty, and all work guaranteed. Oak, Ash, Bay, and Walnut lumber ; Ore gon and Port Orford Cedar. All kinds of boat material on hand. C. H. SAIX & CO. I Lead but Never Follow ! CARL ADLER'S Crystal REVOLUTION!! Is herewith declared. From and papers and Periodicals will be sold 5 Cents Each. Fireside Companion, N. Y. Weekly Ledger, Saturday Night. Arm Chair, Family Story Paper, Boys of New York, "Weeks Doings, Texas Siftings, S. F. Chronicle, Call, Oregonian, New3 and Astobian". etc., etc. 8 Cts., 3 for 25 Police Gazette, Police News, Judge, Harper's Bazaar and Weekly, Leslie's Weekly and Chimney Corner, Argonaut, and many others. I have printed tickets for those papers to mako exact change. Back numbers always on hand. O K fcm i"C Leslie's Popular Monthly, , 4iO Utllbd. Young Ladies Journal, etc. 30 CeiltS. Harper's Monthly, etc. Having made arrangements with all publishers I am enabled to give the public a benefit of the above named reductions 1 have also REDUCED the price for Subscriptions, which will' be as follows: Harper's Weekly, per year " Bazaar, Monthly " All three for Leslie's Weekly, per year Leslie's Chimney Corner, per year " Popular Monthly " Fireside Companion Now York Ledger Saturday Night Family Story Paper Arm Chair : S. F. Argonant Puck And all others too numerous to mention at tho same rates. Now is your time to subscribe for the coming year. Remember Carl Adler's .subscription News Depot. ADLER STILL HOLDS THE FORT ! Ziools at This I All the following fine cloth bound Books ellt edce. Bed Line edition, former!? 31.5a at 75 cents. POEM Bulwer Lytton, Campbell. Spencer, Hemans. Tennyson. Hood. iloore, Jean Incelow. CrnWt rope, Shakespeare, Goldsmith, Chaucer. Coleridge, Luclle, Drynen, Macaulay, Scott. Sohlller. Milton, Keats, Kirk, White, Goss. Thompson, Herbert. Ayton, woodworth. liongfellow. Holmes, Bayard Taylor, Shelby, Kodgera, Burns, Cooper, anu many, many more. Fine line of Novels and Gift Books, richlv bound, formerly SI JO now onlv75 cents. Tom Brown's School Days, Tour of the World, The Fur Country, Five Weeks in a Balloon, Anderson's Fairy Tales, Arabian Niehts. Young Crusoe, Tales from Shakespeare. Don tuuuid uciu'", xjLuusriiuiu oiuiica, uictv ituuuc), AC3uji3 fituica, iijat iajj ui x uxupcu. Koblnson Crusoe, Rob Roy, The, Midshipman. Daring Deeds. French Fancy Tales, xhs Prlyateersman, Young Forester, Feter the Whaler, and hundreds more. LOW FRIC2E3S. Kvarr Article of mv new. flna selected stock will be sold at Drices that will DEPT JLLLi COMPETITION. Books, Stationery, and Notions In endless variety. A flue display of Gold and SUrer Watches, Clocks and Jewelry, Rodger Bros. Silverware, as Knives, Forks and Spoons, Castors, Cups, Tea Sets, etc., etc., will be sold cheaper than anywhere else. PIANOS AND ORGANS of tho best iBStallmentg. MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS of every description. Sheet Music and Music Instructors of the latest publications. 100 new Music Books Just received from the East. IXTQ I The finest assortment of Toys, Wagons. Velocipedes, Baby Carriages, VXij I etc., etc, can only be found at Adler's well known Crystal Palace. Enabled by many years of experience I succeeded In selecting a stock of goods which will suit young and old. I mean to do a square, honest business, giving full value for every dime received. Polite clerks will be found In attendance and no trouble to show goods. REMEMBER I TVILr, XOT BE U JDERH0L.D. The Crystal Falaoe. Carl Adler, Proprietor. ASTORIA IRON WORKS. Bkhtox Street, Nkab Pahker Hottse, ASTORIA. - OREGON. GENERAL MACHINISTS AND BOILER MAKERS. LAMMAEMIMES Boiler Work, Steamboat Work and Cannery Work a spe cialty. CASTING'S , Of all Sescriptieas ade te Order at Hkert Netlce. A. D. Wass, President. J..G. Hcstleb, Secretary, I. W. Case, Treasurer. Jonx Fox, Superintendent. Palace! after the 1st of November all News at the following prices: . Cts., 13 for $1.00. Illustrated Times, Puck, "Wasp, and $3.75 not $4 00 3.75 " 4.00 3.50 " 4.00 10.00 " 12.00 3.75 " 4.00 3.75 " 4.00 2.85 " 3.00 2.75 " 3.0 2.75 " 3.00 2.75 " 3.00 2.75 " 3.00 2.75 " 3.00 3.75 " 4.00 4.50 " 5.00 makers very low for Cash, r ea Easy stiie torn COMMISSION MERCHANTS. Dealers In LTJMBEE, HAY, GBATN", POTATOES, AND COUNTRY PRODUCE. Advances made on Consignments. r