Y oL xix. Astoria. Oregon, Saturday Morning, September 22, 1883. No. 149. THE FIRST WHISTLE. The story of the first steam whistle on the Missouri river is amusing-. Its introduction dates back to 1S14. At that time the settlers on the Missouri river were in the habit of making regu lar yearly visits to St. Louis to do their trading for themselves and thoir friends. They were not pro vided with daily intercourse with the outside world, and many who lived back from the river seldom, i ever, swa a steamboat more than once a year. It happened that during the fall of 1844 the new steamboat Tjtxhujlon started up the Missouri river, loaded down to the guards with freight. The steamer was provided with a steam whistle the first used on the Missouri river and as it hap pened no one new about it except Warner, who was a wag and a lover of jokes. The night after leaving St. Louis the passengers were collected together playing cards (for fun) in the cabin, when the talk turned upon steamboat explosions, then ver- common. I feel jerfectly safe on this boat,' said Warner, as he dealt the card. "Why?' inquired Yocum the the planter. "Why!" cohoed the rest, of the company. "I will teli you why," said the wag, carefully studying his cards. 'This lxRt is provided with a new patent safety valve, which notifies passengers when it is about to blow up. It is a concern which makes a most unearthly noise, and when vou hear it. it is time to get back aft or jump overboard." Notwithstanding the fact that Warner told his story with the ost solemn and earnest counte nance, some were skeptical. Not so, however, with the planter. Xext morning, when the Lcxing 1,i was steaming up the long, straight stretch of river just below Washington, Mo., the passengers were at breakfast. The meal had ecn called, and all were busily engaged in doing justice to the .xd things, accustomed to be served on steamboats in those days. Suddenly the whistle com menced to blow, the first time on the trip. The passengers looked at each other a moment, and hor ror and dismay spread over their faces. The first man to realize the situation and act was Yocum, the planter, who, with hair erect and blanched face, jumped up, crying as he pulled over one after anoth er of the passengers: "Run, run for your lives, the I- -d thing U going to bust. V"v,e with nic and let's save our selves." Of course, there was a stam pede for the rear of the boat, and it was only by the exertions of some of the crew that the more excited were restrained from jump? inn: into the river. This story of David Crockett is going the rounds: On his return to Texas after his first winter as a representative in congress, his neighbors overwhelmed him with questions about life in the city of Washington. "When do they dine?' one demanded. "Common people such as we have here," Col. Crockott replied, "dine at 1 o'clock, the big ones at 3, we rep resentatives at -J, and the aristo cracy and .senators cat at 5." Well, when docs the president fodder?" "Old Hickory?" the Colonel ex claimed, "well, he doesn't dine till the next day." The TJterjwoI Mercury says: There is in fact, only one thing that America cannot produce. She can not produce old churches. That is very true, but she can pro duce such u crop of new ones as to maky England look like u heathen country in comparison. According to commissioner Evans, there will be moonshiners in North Carolina and Tennessee as long as there are mountains in those states.' He says he does not think illicit distilling can ever be fully stopped in those moun tain regions. HASH. In Norway a first-class dinner costs twenty-five cents. Iowa's timberlands have doubled in area in thirty years. There is in the United States one lawyer for every 70U people. The loss to Rochester, Minn., j by the recent tornado exceeds J $300,000. Negro physicians are wanted in the South. There are enough pastors. Over ninety per cent of New York city people live in rented premises. There arc many brunettes at Saratoga, and they nearly all wear diamonds. The taxable value of railroads now in New Mexico is placed at $15,000,000. New Mexico has an area of 122,000 square miles and a popu lation of 150,000. Three-fourths of the population of New Mexico are natives, who speak Spanish. An ordinary peach-basket maker puts together three hundred baskets a day. The center of the Brooklyn bridge hangs two feet higher in winter than in summer. Nitro glycerine is now frequent ly used as a medicine, under the name of glonoine. New Mexico is largely plastered with Mexican land grants, somo'of which are bogus. Steamboat navigation on Lake Ontario dates back to 1 81G, and on Lake Erie to 1S17. Five million acres more public land were taken up or sold hist year than the year before. A lemonade bath is said to whiten the skin a sort of lime juice whitewash, as it were. jThc Sotal valuation of Vermont is given at 1G9,022,S00, against $167,783,000 last year. - Since 18G1 conscience-stricken persons have paid $1SG,-159.01 in to the United States treasury. New York eats 5,000,000 worth of oysters in a year. Philadelphia $3,500,000, and Boston $1,750, 000. The subject of establishing country workhouses for tramps will be agitated in the state of New York. Governor Sheldan of New Mexico says the greatest want of the territory is a proper school system. It is represented that New Mexico contains 8,000,000 acres of land adapted to fruit and cereal culture. The horse population of the United States is now over 11,000, 000, or about one horse to ever' five human beings. Every Massachusetts citizen who sets out four trees by the highway is allowed $1 abatement of his highway tax. All railroads except the Atlan tic and Pacific, are exempt from taxation in New Mexico, for a period of six years. The taxable property of New Mexico this year is $27,137,903, against $14,088,524- in 1SS1, and $20,441,395 in 1SS2. Joaquin Miller is impressed with the lovely suburbs of Boston, but the heart of the city is horse cars and gravcyurds. Our country, it seems, can run aiong very nicely Tor awhile whether the government lives Washington or not. Mrs. Jermiah Levitt, ol Tillon, N. H., has a watch in her posses sion that is 573 years old. It was made in Louden in 1310. Southern newspapers remark that while the growth of their states is comparatively slow, the population is strong!' Ameri can. A letter continuing $3 in bills turned up at Ilion, N. Y., the oth er day, after wandering through various postoffices for sixteen years. Land .turtles . are becoming fashionable for ladies' pets in Pennsylvania. They are dressed in ribbons and jewelry, and are as beautiful as the lovely pug dog. A New York paper intimates that noise is a tonic and if all the sounds in that roaring cjty were to suddenly stop many people would fall down dead. Oregon Short Line. The Salt Lake Tribune of the 11th says the Oregon Short Line reached the mouth of Boise river, thirty miles below Boise City, on last Saturday. At this point the supply of steel mils beame ex hausted ami there will be a short halt by the track layers. Super intendent Doddridge issued orders yesterday for the erection of a de pot, and for that place, called Caldwell, to be a terminal station for the present. From Caldwell to theunction with the Oregon Navigation & Railway company in Burnt river it is some thirty or forty miles, part of which will be very expensive to build. Snake river is to be crossed just above the mouth, of Boise river, after which the track will run on the west side a few miles, then cross the river again to the east side, and afterwards back to the west thus making three long and ex pensive bridges. This is made necessary by the broken condition of the country. There has been considerable talk about the road being run down Snake river to Lewiston. a distance of 1SG miles from the point of junction with the O. R. & N Co. fj?hc route-has been surveyed and jiffped,' but it would be so expensive that there is no prospect of its being built. Such a road would have to pass through a great gorge or canyon thirty miles long. Very few per sons have ever passed through this curyon, because of the diffi culties and dangers attending the trip. We learn that the road is carrying many passengers and much freight between Grander and the present western terminus, a large percentage of business being with the Wood river coun try. Absolutely Pure. This powder never varies. A marvel o purity, strength and wholesomeness. More economical than the ordinary kinds, and cannot be sold In competition with the mul titude of low test short weight, alum or phosphate powders. Snldonlvin can. Bov ai.Bakixu roWDEU Co.. 10G Wall-st. X. Y. Hardware and SUp Chandlery A. VAN DUSEIi & GO., Hardware and Ship Chandlery, Pure Oil, Bright Varnish, Binnacle Oil, Cotton Canvas, Hemp Sail Twine, Cotton Sail Twine, Lard Oil, Wrought Iron Spikes, Galvanized Cut Nails. Agricultural Implements, Serving: MncIiiiit'K, Paint and Oils. Groceries, etc. WM. EDGAR, Dealer in Cigars, Tobacco and Cigarettes Meerschaum and Brier Pipes, GENUINE ENGLISH CUTLERY Revolvers and Cartridges. pill 8 fit H 1 Neuralgia, Sciatica, Lumbago-, Backache, Soreness of the Chest, Gout, Quinsy, Sore Throat, Swell ings and Sprains, Burns and Scalds, General Bodily Pains, Tooth, Ear and Headache, Frosted Feet and Ears, and all other Pains and Aches. Ko Preparation on earth epala Sr. J..ct)33 0:l as a safe, sure, simple and ehcap External Bemedj. A trial entails Let the comparative j trifling outlay cf CO Cents, and every one mfler lng with pain can have cheap and poitivo proof of ita clainu. Directions in Eleven Langcagcj. 80LD BY ALL DRUGGISTS ALDDEALHE3 III HEDIOrtlE. A. VOGESSR &, CO., HaUiv.iore. Zld., XT. 8. A. So gre.it is the destruction caused to crops by the enormous multiplication of rabbits in Nov? Zealand, that the government of India has been asked by the New Zealand government to send out for acclimation aniumber of mun gooses, which animals are well known to be effectual destroyers of rabbits. Whether the mun gooses may not in their t:irn prove undesirable visitors does not appear to have been consid ered. MOTHERS, READ GitNTs: AlKuit nine years ago i hmt n child two years old and almost ilenii. The doctor 1 had attending her could not tell what ailed her. 1 asked him If he did t ol think it was wonus. He said no. How ever, this did not satisfy iut, ns I f"H vtm vineed in my own mind that she htd. I obtained a bottle of DK. C. 3IcI.ANKS CELKIIRATJ2l VKR3IIlU(!Kvs;emiIiiei. I gavo her a tenspoonfnl in the momini: andnnotheratnight,afterwhiclish' n-sod seventy-two -worms and was a well eiiild. Since then I have never been without it In my fiutilly. The health of my c!i:!in-n remained m good that I had ncxl.-i-tttl watching their actions until alum ij.ru weeks ago, when two of them jhvh -.led the KHinc Mekly appearance that 5-Vi:nv did nine years ago. .So I thought li must be worms, and went to work at om-e with n bottle of 1K. C. McIutXK'S Vl-f.KI. 1'UOK between four of my risiMrf.ii. their ngos being as follows: Alice, S years: i "hur ley, lycars; Emma. G years; John. U yea t-. Now comes the result . Alice and Emma came out nil riglit,but Charley passed forty live and Johnny about sixty worm. The result was st gratifying that I -jient two days in showing the wonderful rflVet ef your Vermifuge around I'tk-a, and now have the wonus on exhibition in mv More. Yours truly. JOHN PIPKK. The genuine In. C ;! BANK'S Vi:it SriKUGK is manufactured only by Fleming Bros., Fittsburgh, Fa., an.! bear the signatures of C. Jlcl-atie and Fleming tiros. It N nevrT made in si. I'iils or Wheeling. lie r.urc you get the genuine Trice, 25 cents f. bottle. FLEHUI0 imOS., Pittsburgh, Pa. King of the Blood Is not a "cure all," It is a blood-purifier and tonic Impurity of. the blood poisons thesvs tern, deranges the circulation, and thus In duces many disorders, known bv different names to distinguish them according to ef fects, but being really branches or phase of that great generic disorder. Impurity ox Itlood. Such are Diispepgia, 1lHUou.ir.c, Liver Complaint.Conittijxitlon.nrcrroitH DU ortlcrs. Headache, Backache, General Weak ness, IcarlDleasc,Drapxu, Kidney DUseac, Piles, llhawwlium. Catarrh, Scrouda, Skin Dltonlcm, 1'lmvla. Ulcers. itccllinu, dr., te. Itiiisr of the Itlood prevents and cures these by attacking the catue. Imparity of the blood. Chemists and phvslcians agree in callinjr It "the most genuine" ami enicient preparation for the punose." Sold by Drug gists, SI per bottle. See testimonials, direc tions, &c, In pamphlet, "Treatise oil Uieases ol th Illood," wrapped around each bottle. I). KASSOM. SOX & Co.. I'rops Hnff:Uo. X. V. NOTICE. ALL PERSONS are HEREBY Not to Trespass upon the follow ing described property, to wit: The NW 1-4 of Sec. 28, T. 8 N., R. 8 VV.. Clatsop County, Oregon. The said property being the property of the undersigned. JOHN ROGERS. Changed Hands. THE BAKERY OXCIIKXAalUSSTItEET, formerly owned by Chas. Carow. has been bought by Chas Ebcrle, who will here after conduct it. Good Bread a Specialty. The public trade solicited. HOTELS AND P.ESTATJRAKTS. PARKER HOUSE, II, II. PACKER. Prop.. ASTORIA, - - - OREGON. E. P. PAKKEH, - .Manager and Agent. Al.CKOSRY, - - Day Clerk riiil. BOWERS. - - Night Clerk. .Ta. DUFFY has the Uar-and Billiard room. First Class in all Respects. MIKE COACH TO THE HOUSE. IT IS A PACT THAT JEFF'S CHOP HOUSE ON Concomly Street is the Best in Town. THAT ! has Always on ITand FRESH Shoal Water Bay and Enst eni Oy.icrs. THAT "JEFF" IS THE BOSS CATERER. THAT Sic lias bpen Proprietor or the "Aurora Hotel" In Knappton seven years. OPEN DAY AND NIGHT. COSMOPOLITAN Chop House and Restaurant. OPEN BAY AND NIGHT. 2IenlM 523 rents and upwards. G. JIOaij.VRD, 3XA1X STKECT. Proprietor. - ASTORIA. DKALKJi IX Hay, Oats, Straw. Lime, Brick, Cement and Sand Wood Delivered to Order, Draying, Teaming and Express Business. Horses ana Carriages for Hire. DEALER Ef W1KES, LIQUORS AND CIGARS. FlKJsT CLASH Allen, Wholesale afla retail dealer In PtQllM9, MILL FEED. Glass and Plated Ware, TltOPIOAL AND DOMESTIC FRUITS A?D VEGETABLES. Toeihftr with Wines, LiquorsJobaccoXigars BUY THE BEST ! BARBOUR'S Irish Flax Salmon Net Threads Woodberry, and Needle Brands, SEINE TWINES. AND CORK MB IBID LINES, Fish Pounds, Keines, and Nets Imported to Order. A. LarpMofMiiiMlM AND FISH HOOKS. CONSTANTLY ON HAND. HENRY-DOYLE & CO., 5 1 7 and 5 1 9, MARKET STREET SAN FRANCISCO. E3?Agcnts for the Pacific Coast FOASD & STOKES, WE HAVE OPENED AGAIN In Hume's New Building, And are Eeady to Supply the "Wants of Our Customers. A FULL STOCK OF Fresh Groceries. plumbing; Gas and Steam Fitting DONE BY RUDDOCK & "WHEELER. AT fair rates. Also a complete stock or goods In our line. Estimates given and work guaranteed. Cass street. In rear of I 0 0 F bulldlne, next to Gas Co's ofll ce. WILLIAM HOWE DEALER IS- Doors, Windows, Blinds, Transoms, Lumber. Ail kinds of OAK LUMBER GLASS, Boat Material, Etc. 1 Boats of all 'inds 2ade to Order. 1 -Orders from a distance promptly attended to, and satisfaction guaranteed In all cases S.ARNDT & EERCHEN, ASTORIA. - OREGON. The Pioneer Machine Shop BLACKSMITH shopI Boiler Shop All kinds ol ENGINE, CANNERY, AND STEAMBOAT WORK Promptly attended to. A specialty made of repairing CANNERY DIES, FOOT OF LAFAYETTE STREET. ASTORIA IRON WORKS. Bkntok Stekkt, Nkak Pakkek ITousk, ASTORIA. - OREGON. GEHERAL MACHINISTS AND BOILER MAKERS. LAMMAira&lES BoilerWork, Steamboat Work and Cannery Work a spe cialty. Of all Descriptions made to Order at Snort Notice. A. D. WABS, President. J. G. IIusti.f.r, Secretary, I. W. Case, Treasurer. JOHJf Fox, Superintendent. LOEB & CO., JOBBERS IN WINES, LIQUORS, AND CIGARS. AGENTS FOR THE Best San Francisco Houses and Eastern Distilleries. Tumblers Decanters, and All Kinds of Saloon Supplies. All goods sold at San Francisco Prices. MAIN STREET, Opposite Parker House, Astoria, Oregon. GENERAL STEAMSHIP AGENCY. Bills of Exchange on any Part oi Europe. 1A3I AGENT FOR TIE FOLLOWING well known and commodious steamship ines, STATE LINE, RED STAR. WHITE STAR. HAMBURG-AMERICAN, DOMINION LINE, NATIONAL, and AMERICAN LINE. Prepaid tickets to or from any European port. For full Information as to rates of fare, sailing days, etc, apply to I.W.CASE. BOZO&TH & JOHNS. Real Estate and General Insurance Agents. ASTORIA, Oregon. WE WRITE POLICIES IN TnE WTST em. State Investment, namburg, Bre men and North German Fire Insurance Com panies, and represent the TravellPis' Life and Accident of Hartford, and the New York Life, of N.Y. We liave the only complete set of township maps in the county, and nave made arrange ments to receive applications, filings, and final proofs on Homesteads, Preemptions. Timber Lands, etc., having all the official blanks therefor. Our maps can be exam ined in the office,, upon the payment of a Teasonable fee. We also have for sale city property in As toria and additions, and farms and tide land property. Rents, and other collections made, and loans negotiated. . BOZORTH & JOHNS, HOUSE, SIGN, AND CARRIAGE PAINTING. Paper Hanging, Kalsomining, Etc., And all kinds of work in my line done in a prompt and satisfactory manner. "Shop next east of Grace Church. K. JR. CHIPMAN. AND Bracket Work A SPECIALTY. BUSLNESS CARDS. J. XAT. HUDSON. Attorney at Iaw, and Notary Public. Odd Fellows Building, Astoria, Oregon, Q TV. Fiiirov, ATTORNEY AT LAW. Rooms 5 and 6. Odd Fellows Building J Q. A. BOIYIBY, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Chenamus treet, - - ASTORIA, OREGON Q J. CUltTIS, ATT'l" AT LAW. Notary rublie. Commissioner of Deeds for California, New York and Washington Ter ritory. Rooias 3 and 4, Odd Fellows Building, As- toria. Oregon. N.iL-CIalms at Washington. Ds. C, and collections a specialty. V. AIiliE3I, Astoria Agent Hamburg-Magdeburg and German-American FltfE INSURANCE COMPANIES. Jg C. IIOL.DE3T, NOTARY PUBLIC, AUCTIONEER, COMMISSION AND IN SURANCE AGENT. JQK. X. C UOAT3IAX, Physician and Surgeon. Rooms o and 10, Odd Fellows Building, ASTORIA, OREGON. JAY TUTTXiK. 31. D. PHYSICIAN" AND SURGEON Office Rooms 1, 2, and 3. Pythian Build lug. Residkkck Over J. E. Thomas' Drug. Store. J P. UXCKS. PENTIST, ASTORIA, - - - - " OREGON Rooms In Allen's building up stairs, comer f Cass and Sqemocqhe stret . JQK. J. E. )LaF01tC, BEiVTIST, Room ll. Odd Fellows Building, Astoria, Or. Gas administered for painless extraction of teeth. Q.TELO F. PARKER, SURVEYOR OF Clatsop County, and City or Astoria Office :-Chenamus street, Y. M. C. A. hall Room No. 8. J J. JOXES, STAIR BUIjLDEK, Ship and Steamboat Joiner, NORTHERN PACIFIC EXPRESS COMPANY Are Now Ready For Business. - c-Offlce with Bozorth & Johns. E.A.NOYES, Agt. ar,o. r. wiieklkr. w. x. bobb. WHEELER & EOBB. GENERAL REAL ESTATE, INSURANCE, AND COLLECTION AGENTS. Real Estate bought and sold on Commis sion. Accounts adjusted and Bills collected. Correspondence from abroad solicited. E&-Ofllce, in Hume's new building, on Sque moqua street, next door to Foard & Stokes. Xj. I- Jolison, Has re-opened. his CIGAR AND TOBACCO STORE, On the Roadway, near his old location. He will keep the stock of the choicest Cigars, and Tobaccos, and a full line of smokersy ar ticles, including the finest meerschaum fupes. He will be pleased to see hLs old nends at his new stand. deeming Repairing. NEAT, CHEAP AND QUICK. BY GEORGE liOVETT Main Street, opposite N. Loeb'a. ANNOUNCEMENT. DIRS. T. S. JEWETT, (Successor to Mrs. E. S. Warren.) Fashionable Dressmaker AND HIUXIiTEK. Dealer In Millinery and Fancy Goods. SquemoqUa street, next door to Odd-Fellow Temple.