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About The Daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883 | View Entire Issue (May 12, 1883)
Astoria, Oregon, Saturday Morning, May 12, 1883
TIM PRICE'S RAM.
"Ho, Colonel! Ho, there!
Don't git over them bars. Stop
thar, or you'll git butted wuss nor
a mule kickin'. My buck mut
ton's out!" yelled Tim Price as he
came hurriedly out of his cabin
with an alarmed look, hatless,
shoeless, and followed by his
dog Spider and a crowd of young
sters. Tim never was seriously earnest
in his life, and the truth seldom
escaped from him; but to give
color to his caution a fine ram
stood some distance off with his
head toward me, and as I had
never heard a decision rendered
on that famous subject so long
agitating Georgia debatingschools,
"What am de but end ob a ram?"
1 concluded to remain in doubt
myself about it and stay on the
right side of the fence until Tim
"I'm powerful glad I seed you
comin'. He kep' Seth Jones treed
up that bar-post three mortal hours
t'other afternoon, an' him puttin'
in a lick once in a bit ter kinder
show Seth -what he'd git if he'd
come down. I kep' the children
aback the cabin with me, alookin5
through the chinks to see Seth a
shaken' every lick he hit, an' a
hollerin' for me, an' sweariu'.
Thar he sot, peerched up on the
pint uv the post, oncomfortable
like as a fish on a gig, squirmin'.
After 'bout three hours treein' an'
him gittin' weak, an' the ram
knocken' two bar holes inter one.
I thought 'twas fun enough; so I
lets on to be jist come in from the
clearin', an' I says: 'Ho Seth!
"What's you doin' up thar' any
way?' 'an says he: I jist got up
fcr to look 'round to see ef I kin
see you. I've been hollerin' fer
you. I wish you'd step this way,
Tim; I want ter ax you 'boat
" 'Well, git down,' I says, 'an'
come inter the cabin.' I hain't
time,' he says. 'Jest come yer,'
an' he kep lookin' as if he'd never
seed the ram, as innercent like as
Spider arter stealin' the. old wo
man's cookens. An' he seed I
weren't goin' ter let him down
till he owned up. So, says he
letten on ter see the buck for the
fust time 'Why, thar's yer buck
mutton, hain't he? Drive him off,
Tim, or I'll jump on him.' 'Jump
ahead,' I says; 'ef the pesky crit
ter will stan' round butten at bar
posts fur fun he must expect ter
be jumped onter. Jump on him,
Seth, dem him.' But Seth, he jist
perched higher, fer the ram gin an
allfired lick at the post. He sot
his head back two inches that day,
an' sprained one of his hoofs loen'
fur hard licks.
."Bymebye Seth says, awful sol
emn like: 'Tim, I'm powerful
feered of hydrophoby, an' people
say yer buck mutton's got it.
Skeer him off, do.' So I sicked
Srider at him, an' Seth he sot
down, an' yer ought ter see him
runnin'. He never sed what he'd
"I alius lets Spider do the man
agin' uv him. I can't conshusly
do nothin' with him. Spider jist
backs away from him outer the
way uv licks, an' the ram follers.
I've knowed him to take him
more'n three mile an' a quarter
that away, an' then scoot hum
leavin' the buck madder'n ever at
bein' fooled so.
" 'While back, them railroad in
gineers was spyen 'long yere, an'
every feller in the kentry was
'long ter hev it run jist whar he
wanted it, an' ter give 'pinions
like. Tiie peoples yerabouts staid
high on the fences, 'cause they
kuowed the meanness of my buck
critter; but a feller with a spyen
machine gits right inter my med
der, an' plump inter the middle of
it, ansprcads out a pinted, three
legged consarn he had, with a sur
veyen compass onter it, an' goes
to -winden on her up. I seed the
ram a-lookin at him from a jinin'
patch, an', thinks I, thar'll be fun
about all them legs in a minute;
fer the feller didn't treat me right
noway, -when I was 'lowin' to him
ifbar the road oughter go.
"He got it sot, an' wound up ,
an' were a spyen at a feller with a
red pole 'way down yonder, an' he
took out his wiper an' gave it a
shake, an' hollers 'all right.' But
it wasn't. The ram he seed it, an'
he come as straight as a rock at a
barbecue. An' the fellers hollered
'Look out!' an' the spyen man he
looked 'round kinder slow an' cool
like to see what was goin' on an'"
Lord! he seed it was him.
"The buck was a-comin jump-
in' an' buttin', fer practice like
as if it wore tryin' ter knock a
hole in all out-doors. The man
jest gathered them five legs three
of the machine's and two of his'n
quicker nor you kin slry a hymn
book at a preacher, an' struck fer
the fence. But 'twer too late.
The ram was inter him, an' you
mought have heered him mixin'
his head with them legs fer a
"He smashed some uv them
brass tricks out agin that feller as
fiat as a batter cake ef he didn't
I'll eat the greaser an' he
bent up the spin machine so yer
couldn't have run a race course or
a circus track witli it 'twere too
crooked fer that.
"The feller hollered, an' every
time him git on his bans an' knees
the ram was reacty agin, an' sock
ed him down, an' kep' a standin'
lookin' 'round fer somethin' ter
hit, agin the feller come ter time.
Soon's I could git my burden'
face on, I takes Spider in ter whar
the fuss wuz goin' on, an' he
coaxed him clar over ter Pinch
Holler, that's better nor two miles.
"When I gethered that feller
up, he was as nigh onter what
you eastern fellers tells 'bout sea
pukes, as I reckon I'll ever see,
bein' so far from the big water.
An' when we stripped him ter doc
ter him up, thar, right 5n his back,
were the print uv the hull derned
pints uv the compass north and
south, east and west, and the di
visions jist as plain as big day
light derned ef they wasn't an'
I picked the compas needle out uv
him, an' hit pintin' to the west, a
little nor' not speakin' uv two
screws an' right smart o' glass.
Promoted by Lincoln.
A Sergeant of infantry, whom I
shall call DickGower, commanded
his company in many battles in
the west in the early days of the
war. His company officers had all
been killed, but right loyally did
Dick handle his men. His disci
pline was perfect; his bravery not
only made him a hero among his
men, but excited the attention of
all the officers. At the first lull in
the campaign the officers of his
regiment, of his brigade and of
his division united in recommend
ing him for a lieutenancy in the
regular army. The commanding
officer joined in the recommenda
tion. Mr. Lincoln ordered the ap
pointment. Forthwith Sergeant
Dick was ordered before an exam
ining board in Washington, for
the regular army officers were
tenacious of what they thought
their superiority. Dick presented
himself in a soiled and faded Ser
geant's uniform, his face and
hands bronzed and cracked by
the winds and suns of a hot cam
paign. The curled darlings of Wash
ington society, the perfumed grad
uates of West Point, who had
never seen a squadron set in the
field, conducted the examination
to ascertain if Dick was fit to be
come an officer in the regular
army. They asked him questions
as to engineering, mathematics,
philosophy, and ordinance, of har
bor warfare, of field campaigns,
and such stuff. Not a single
question could Dick answer.
"What is an echelon?" was
"I don't know," answered Dick:
"I never saw one."
"What is an abattis?"' was the
"You've got me again. We
don't have 'em in the west."
"Well, what is a hollow square?"
continued his tormentors.
"Don't know," said Dick sorrow
fully. "I never heard of one."
"Well," finally, said a young
snipe in eye-glasses, "what would
you do in command of a company
if the cavalry should charge on
They had at'last got down to
Dick's comprehension, and he
answered with a resolute face and
"I'd give 'em ; that's what
I'd do, and I'd make a hollow
sauare in everv mother's son of
A few more technical questions
were asked, but Dick was not
able to answer them, and the
examination closed. The report
was sent to the secretary of war
who submitted it to Mr. Lincoln,
saying that evidently Dick would
not do for an officer. Mr. Lincoln
went through the report, and found
that Dick had not answered a
single question, but he came to
where Dick said what he would
do if attacked by cavaly, and then
be did what sensible Abe Lincoln
did in all such matters; he threw
the report on the table, and made
a little memorandum in pencil
ordering the secretary of war to
appoint Dick Gower to a lieuten
aut in the regular army Dick
achieved distinction, and was
everywhere known in the army as
a man without fear, who never made
Tills powder never varies. A marvel of
purity, strengtu and winie.someneis. Mon
economical than the ordinary kinds, and
cannot be sold in comnctition with the mul
titude of low test snort weight, alum or
phosphate powders. Soldonlyin can, Rov-
AL AKIN l'OWDKK Co.. 106 Wall-St. N. Y
FOARD & STOKES,
ANCHORS. EOPE AND
HARNESS AT SAN FRANCISGO
A Full Line of House
AT TIIE O. R. &. N. DOCK.
No. 40 I2-Ply
SALMON TWINE !
CORK MB LEAD LINES,
A Full Stock Now on Hand.
HENRY DOYLE & CO.,
511 JjIarketStreet, Han FraHclsco.
Sole Agents for the Pacific Coast.
BOZORTH & JOHNS.
Real Estate Dealers.
A general agency business transacted
Hare Columbia City. Alderbrook, Astoria
and Seaside property for sale.
I HAVE TIIE AGENCY OF THE BEATTY
Organs and Pianos, and -will sell the same
very low for cash, or on time with the proper
security. Persons desiring to purchase an
organ for either church or family use will
find it greatly to their Interest to call at my
residence and ascertain prices. Five years
guarantee given if desired.
Comdex's Liquid Beef Toxic com
bines all the elements of nutritious f ood
Ask for Colden's, of druggists.
3 si is tvos 'Hrt
Neuralgia, Sciatica, lumbago.
Backache, Soreness of the Chest,
Gout, Quinsy, Sore Throat, Swell
ings and Sprains, Burns and
Scalds, General Bodily
Tooth, Ear and Headache, Frosted
Feet and Ears, and all other
Pains and Aches.
No Preparation on firth eqcoli St. Jacoes Oil
u a safe, sure, simple and cheap External
Btxnedj. A trial entail but the comparatively
trifling outlay of GO Cents, and eTery ens Buffer
ing with pain can baTO cheap and pcitire proof
of Its claims.
Directions in EleTen Langnagea.
BOLD BY ALLDBUGGI8TS AHD DEALERS
A. VOGSUER & CO.,
Baltimore, 3Zd, 77". S. J.
Thirty years' observation con
vinces tho Harrisburg Tndej)end-
ent that only about three cut of
every ten men elected attend to
their public duties or are capable
of attendinjr to them.
The grand juries of King and
Kitsap counties, "NY. T., have in
vestigated the loss of the Sound
steamers Josephine and Gem and
report that the loss of the vessels
was the result of carelessness.
SYMPTOMS OF WORMS.
The countenance is pale and leaden
colored, with occasional flushes of a cir
cumM:ribed spot on one or both checks;
tiie eyes become dull; the pupils dilate;
an nzuro semicircle runs along the lower
eye-lid ; the nose Is irritated, swells, and
sometimes bleeds ; a swcIIIuk of the upper
lip; occasional headache, with humming
or throbhiug of the ears; an unusual se
cretion of saliva; slimy or furred tongue;
breath very foul, particularly in the morn
ing; appetite variable, sometimes vora
cious, with a gnawing sensation of tho
stomach ; at others, entirely gone ; fleeting
pains in tho stomach ; occasional nausea
and vomiting; violent pains throughout
the abdomen; bowels irregular, at times
costive; stools slimy, not unfrequently
tinged with blood ; belly swollen and hard ;
urine turbid ; respiration occasionally dim
cull and accompanied by hiccough ; cough
sometimes dry and convulsive; uneasy and
disturbed sleep, with grinding of the teeth;
temper variable, but generally irritable.
Whenever the nbovo symptoms aro
found to exist,
1)11. C. XcLANE'S TEKMEFUGE
will certainly effect a cure.
In baying Vermifuge be suro you cr.t
tho genuine IK. C. McLANK'S VlillMI
IUc;E, manufactured by Fleming liros.,
2t "Wood Street, Pittsburgh, Pa. The
nnrket is full of counterfeits. You will
be riutit if it ha.s the signature of riem
inc ltros. and C. McLnne.
if your storekeeper docs not have the
genuine, please report to us.
So jd its a three cent stamp for 4 hand
some advertising cards.
FLEJIIXa BROS., Pittsburgh, Pa.
King of the Blood
la not a "cure all," it Is a blood-purifier and
tonic Impurity of the blood poisons the sys
tem, deranges the circulation, and thus In
duces many disorders, known by different
names to dhtiugulsh them according to ef
fects, but being really brandies or phases of
that great generic disorder. Impurity or
Blood. Sucli are Dmncnxta. MUtoumes.
Liter Complaint, CoiutljKitUm, A'errrtw Dis
order. Headache, Backache, General Weak
ness, Jicarivixcase.iropitu, Kldneii Mivate,
Pile, Rheumatism, Catarrh, Scrttfula, Skin
DUordcrs, Pimples. Ulcers. SictllinQ, dc,
Ac. Kins: of the Blood prevents and
cures these by attacking the caiuc. Impurity
of the blood. Chemists and plnsicians agree
In calling It "the most genuine' and efficient
preparation for the imrnose " Sold bv Drug
gists, 81 per bottle. See testimonials, direc
tions, &c. In pamphlet, "Treatise on Diseases
oi tno uiooa' wranjMi around each iwttie.
D. RANSOM, SOX & Co.. Props
Buffalo. N. Y.
Cigars, Tobacco and Cigarettes
Meerschaum and Brier Pipes,
GENUINE ENGLISH CUTLERY
Revolvers and Cartridges.
BIDS WILL BE RECEIVED AT TIIE OF
fice of the Clerk of School District Xo. 1.
Clatsop county, Oregon, until Tuesday, May
15, 1SS3. at noon, for bonds of said district,
amounting to $23,000. Said bonds will bein
denominations of one thousand dollars eah.
to run for ten years, interest thereon to be
paid annually upon presentation of interest
coupon. Not less than $5,009 to be taken by
any one persou. Bidders willi please direct
communications to the undersigned, stating
amount bid for. terms, rate, &c.
By order of the directors.
Clerk of School Dist. No. , Clatsop Co., Or.
E- ' THE GREATg , t
A.M. .JOHKSON. C. H. STICKELS.
A. M. JOHNSON & Co.,
SMp Cliaifery anl Groceries
CROCKERY & CLASS WARE.
Also Wholesale Dealers in
PniutM, Oils! Tarnishes, Glass,
Putty. Artists' Oil and Water
Colors. Vniut and Ilalso-
Constantly on hand a full and choice stock
of Staple and Fancy Gioceries Only tho
Our stock of Crockrry and Glaus
Ware is the Largest and most Complete
Stock ever opened in Astoria.
Tea and Dinner Set. Toilet Sets. Glass.
Fruit, and Water Sets. Bar Fixtures. Ale
Mugs. Ponies Rntie Bottles Goblets, Tum
blers Lei nnade Cups, &c , &c.
Everything sold at Lowest Living Rates.
An Examination will more than repay you.
W. S. DEMENT & CO.
ASTORIA, - - - OKEGON
Carry in Stock,
DRUGS, CHEMICALS, TOILET
Prescriptions carefully Compounded,
LOEB & CO.,
AGENTS FOR TIIE
Best San Francisco Houses and
Tumblers Decanters, and All
Kinds of Saloon Supplies.
J3y-All goods sold at San Francisco Prices.
OpiMHite Parker House, Astoria, Oregon.
MAGNUS C. CROSBY,
HARDWARE, IM, STEEL,
Iron Pipe and Fittings,
PLTJ MBERS AND STEAM FITTER0
Goods and Tools,
SHEET LEAD STRIP LEAD
SHEET IRON TIH AHD COPPER,
Caanery ana Flshermens Supplies
Stoves, Tin Ware and House
JOBBING IN SHEET IRON, TIN. COP
PER PLUMBING and STEAM FITTING
Done with neatness and dispatch.
None but first class workmen employed.
A large assortment of;
Constantly on hand
EA YE EEMO YEB !
From their old quarters to their
AND FACTORY NEAR KINNEY'S CAN
NERY. Cleaning Repairing.
NEAT, CHEAP'AND QUICK. BY
" Mala Street, opposite N. Loeb's.
NEYILLE & CO.
Pacific Net and Twine Co.
Sax Francisco, April llth,lSS3.
For general convenience,
we have sent a supply of I"o. 30, 12
ply Genuine Scotch. Salmon Vict
Twine, to the care of A. 21. JOHNSON
& CO., Astoria, which will be sold at
low enough figures to make it an object
for all net menders to use it for repairs,
in place of the more costly No. 40, 12-
Fisherujen who have heretofore nsed
this grade of twine for repairs, claim
that the durability of the patch is equal
to the balance of the net, after the latter
lias had a few weeks use. "We think it
will be money in your pocket to try it.
For prices and samples apply to
A. M. JOHNSON &CO.,
Nollic & Co. Sole Agents, I ,. r-,nt.
3t and S3 California St. J San Francisco.
ASTORIA MARBLE WORKS.
DAVID If i:iiM AX, - - Proprietor,
Manufacturer ot American and Italian
marble monuments and head stones. Ceme
tery lots enclosed with curbing, walls and
copincor stone posts and iron railing. Pnces
and designs furnished to persons at a dis
tance. Satisfaction guaranteed. Slate can
seamers for cannery use.
Doors, Windows, Blinds, Transoms, Lumber.
All kinds of
OAK LUMBER. M
Boat Material, Etc.
Boats of all Kinds Made to Order. :
y Orders from a distance promptly attended
S. ARNDT & EERCHEN,
ASTORIA. - OREGON.
The Pioneer Machine Shop
All kinds of
Promptly attended to.
A specialty mado of repairing
FOOT OF LAFAYETTE STREET.
ASTORIA IRON WORKS.
Bkjttox Street, Neak Pakkke Hocsh,
ASTORIA. - OREGON.
GENERAL MACHINISTS AND
Boiler Work. Steamboat Work
and Cannery Work a spe
cialty. Of all Descriptions made to Oilier
at 8kort Xoticc.
A. D. "Wass, Presedent.
J. G. Hustleu, Secretary,
I. W. Case, Treasurer.
joh' Fox, Superintendent.
A. V. Allen,
(SUCCESSOR TO TAGE & ALLEN.)
Wholesalo and retail dealer in
Glass and Plated Ware,
TROPICAL AND DOMESTIC
FRUITS AND VEGETABLES.
Wilson & Fisher,-
Iron, Steel, Coal, Anchors, Chains,
TAR, PITCH, OAKUM,
WROUGHT AND CUT GALVANIZED
9 E X E X2 &
Nails, Copper Nails and Burrs,
Shelf Hardware, Faints and Oils
Rubber and Hemp Packing of all Kinds.
FX.OUK JlN 3KKL FEE1.
Agents for Salem Flouring Mills.
Corner Chenamus and Hamilton Streets
LOOK HERE !
"We respectfully Inform the public that we
will always keep on hand the best quality of
Fresh, and Cured Meats
Choice Family Groceries,
Fresh Fruits, Vegetables, Crockery and
Ships, HoteLs and Boarding Houses sup
plied on liberal terms.
A share of the public patronage is respect
dtf , WARREN & THOMPSON.
to, and satisfaction guaranteed in all cases
ip C HOIiDKX,
AUCTIONEER, COMMISSION AND IN
rVELO P. WARBLER.
Clatsop County, and City of Astoria
Office :-Chenamus street, Y. M. 0. A. hall
Room No. 8.
"C J. WISTOS,
Attorney and Counselor at Law.
ea-Offlce in Pythian Building. Rooms 11,'ia
ASTORIA, - - - OREGON.
TAX TUTTIiE, M. .
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON
Office Rooms 1, 2, and S. Pythian Build
ing. RE3IDHXCH Over J. E. Thomas' Drug
O P. HICKS,
ASTORIA, - - - OREGON
Rooms in Allen's building up stairs, comer
of Cass and Sqemocqhe strets.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Chenamus Street, ASTORIA, OREGON
General Commission Brokers.
Ofllce on Squemoqua street, opposite Asto
A General Agency business transacted.
GENERAL STEAMSHIP AGENCY.
Bills of Exchange on any
Part oi Europe.
1AM AGENT FOR TIE FOLLOWING
well known and commodious steamship
STATE LINE, RED STAR,
NATIONAL, and AMERICAN LINE.
Trepald tickets to or from any European
For full information as to rates of fare,
sailing days, etc, apply to
I. "W. CASE.
GEO. W. HUME SA"W MILL.
LUMBER, SALMON BOXES, 7 RAYS, ETC.
Office and Mill
COKXKB OF WEST fJTH AND WATER STS
Hay, Oats, Straw.
Lime, Brick, Cement and Sand
Wood Delivered, to Order,
Graying, Teaming and Express Business.
Horses ana Carriages for Hire.
WINES, LIQUORS ANO.CICARS.
FIRST QUALITY LUMBER.
IS IN TIIE FIELD AND PROPOSES TO
We will take orders for lumher from 100
to POO M., at the mill or delivered.
We also manufaoturn lath and ahlnolei of
flooring a Specialty.
Address all orders
WESTPORT MILL CO.