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About The Daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1876-1883 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 10, 1882)
"i && . - ' c - -. 0 u J.'i r- - V , : -:: - r . " totfftn S?aF? t i5ef?s0--miir - sv'isscvae5. . Unfljj Vol. xviii. THE HUMORIST IN COURT. If there is such a thing as laugh ing a case out of court, that feat was accomplished in the city of Erie, P.i., the other" day. One Frank Weiss, the editor of the Sonniasgasie, published in that city, was haled before the court for publishing a cartoon of a citi zen who had been doing volunteer detective work in s'ping out law breaking saloon-keepers. "When the case came on for trial, the district attorncj- had hunted up an old statute by which he could use so many peremptory chal lenges that he could secure a jury to suit him. The statute origi nated in the time of Edward I, and having once been incorporated into Pennsylvania law, it had never been repealed, although it was supposed to be dead law. Here was an ancient statute rung in on the humorst at the last mo ment. None of his German friends could serve on that jury. The hu morist was not to be outwitted in that way. He got a breathing spell of a few hours, when he came into court prepard for his defense. He had been looking into ancient statutes himself, and had made some important discov eries. He claimed the benefit of other unrepealed statutes; and among them trial by "ordeal." He showed that "wager of battle" was still an unrepealed statute in Pennsylvania. The district attor ney had got in the first lick: now the humorist would enlighten the court. Having produced iiis au thorities showing that "wager of battle" was still ancient unrepealed law of Pennsylvania, he claimed the full benefit of it, and proposed the following plan of enforcing the statute: The judges and the clergy are to assemble on a given day, and before them the accused person must fling down his glove and de clare his intention to defend the same with his body. The prose cutor will then pick it up and an nounce his readiness to make good the appeal, body for body. Then both men will bring out their bat tleaxes or javelins, and kneeling before the judges, will make-oath that the weapons have not been charmed by witchcraft, etc. This done each is to grap his ax in his right hand, and the left hand of the other in his left. The accused person to say: "Here this, 0 man, who callest thy name John Firch by the name of baptism, that I, who call myself Frank Weiss by the name ot baptism, did not libel you, so help me God and all the saints." To which the accuser will reply: "Hear -me, O man, whom I hold by the hand, and who callest thyself Frank Weiss by the name of baptism, that 1 do hold thee perjured, and this I will prove with my body, so help me God and all the saints." At a signal from Judge Galbraith the men will come out of their cor ners and go for each other, and his cause shall be deemed just who succeeds in carving up the other before the going down of the sun. It did not lessen the humor of the defendant when it appeared that he was a little man, weighing hardly a hundred pounds; and that his opponent was a stalwart weigh ing over two hundred pounds, and having good fighting muscle. The humorist, succeeding in convulsing the court and jury, and having laughed the case out of court, he went forth a free man of solemn visage, but the funniest man who ever made a solemn joke in Penn sylvania. S. F. Bulletin. Arabi Pasha writes he would prefer to live in Damascus or if that is impossible, in London. He expresses contentment with his lot, because he knows his misfor tune has been the means of secur ing for the country he loves the liberty and prosperity it deserves. He feels confident that when Eng land carries out her good work she will permit him to return. She will soon learn that he was no rebel when he set himself at the head of a people who wanted nothing but justice. An old Sandy Hook, Pilot, Mr. Peter Bailey, residing on Court street, south Brooklyn, N. Y., was cured of a very severe case of rheu matism by St. Jacobs Oil. His ail ment bd resisted all professional treatment. Pour Remarkable '-Hands.1 Yesterday afternoon, at the Cavier Club house Cla' Culbertson, Jeny Kiersted, Alexander Starbuck and E. G. Webster, entered into a game of whist. After the first hand had been played, Mr. Webster, whose turn it was to deal, took the cards, shuffled them, and after they had been cut by Mr. Kier sted, dealt. Each player, as he arranged his cards, appeared to be laboring under iome unusual ex citement. Mr. Culbeitson, whose turn it was to play, and who generally is very prompt in placing his card on the table, delayed the play until Mr. Starbuck broke the ominous silence which prevailed by exclaiming: "Gentlemen, I have the jnost remarkable whist hand I ever held. I hold thirteen hearts.' "And 1," remarked Mr. Culbertson, "hold equally as re markable a hand. 1 have thirteen spades." "And I," nervously said Mr. Kiersted, "have the thir teen diamonds." "Of course I hold the thirteen trumps," quickly chinned in the dealer, Mr Web ster. To say the players were unduly excited at such an expose of the hands but feebly expressed their mental condition at the time. The conversation that ensued re lative to this unexpected event in whist among the players and mem bers, as they dropprt in during the afternoon, was decidedly ani mated. 2so one had ever heard of holding sucn hands in whist. A case occurred in a Boston club a year or so ago where a player held the,thirteen trumps, and also a similar case in a New York club, but aside from these two no one could report such hands as these. Mr. Zanoni, one of the old whist players in the city; on being told of the four remarkable hands, stated that in all his experience in the seductive game of whist he hadnever heard of such a deal being consummated. He thought that som one had pieviously been playing a game of solitaire with the pack in question, that when the dealer picked them up (it being the custom here to play with two decks), he made but one or two shu files with the cards without disturbing their relative positions, and that the cut was made as it was between the two suits. Professor G. W. Smith, another expert, was simply amazed at such a result of a deal. It seems to be one of the impossible, and it might not occur again during a generation of playing. Cincinnati Commercial. Antiquity of Printing. In an interesting article on printing in China, the North China Herald says that the first great promoter of the art of printing was 'Fung XTing Wang, who in 932 A. D, advised the emperor to have Confucian classics printed with wooden blocks engraved for the purpose. The first books were printed in a regular manner, and in pursuance of adeciee in 053. The mariner's compass and rock ets were invented about the same time, showing that at this period men's minds w ere much stirred tow ard invention. Twenty years after the edict the blocks of the classics were pronounced ready and put on sale. Large-sized editions, which were the only ones printed at first, were soon succeeded by pocket editions. The woiks print ed under the Lung emperors at Hangehow were celebrated for their beauty; those of western China came next, and those of Fokheim last. Moveable types of copper and lead were tried about the same time; it was thought that mistakes were too numerous with them, and therefore the fixed blocks were prepared. Paper made from cotton was tried, but it was found so expensive that bamboo made paper held its ground. In the Sung dynasty the method was also tried of engraving on soft clay and afterwards hardening it by baking. The separate charac ters were not thicker than ordi nary copper coins. Each of them was, in fact, a seal. An iron plate was prepared with a facing of tur Astoria, Oregon, pentine, wax and the ashes of burnt paper. Over this was placed an iron frame, in which the clay types weie set up until it was full. The whole was then sufficiently heated to melt the wax facing. An iron plate was placed above the types, making theiw perfectly lev el, the wax being just soft encugh to allow the types to sink into it the proper depth. This being done it would be possible to print several hundred or thousand copies with great rapidity. Two forms prepared in thiswny were ready for the pressman's use, so that when he had done one he would proceed with another without de lay. Here is undoubtedly the principle of the printing press of Europe, although western printers can dispense with a soft wax bed for types, and can obtain a level surface without this device. Per haps the need of capital to lay in a stock of types, the want of a good type metal easily cut and sufficiently hard, and the superior beauty of the Chinese characters when carved in wood have pre vented the employment of the movable types, which are so con venient for analphabetic writing. The inventor of this amode of printing in movable types five centuries before the' were invent ed in Europe, was named Pi Shone:- A merchant tailor, Mr. A. E. Goetz' No. 1510 Eleventh avenue, Altoona, Pa , states that sometime since he had neuralgia in his face, and his sufferings were almost in tolerable. He purchased a bottle of the St, Jacobs Oil and applied itlt acted like magic, two applications effecting a complete cure. "On the day that a divorce was granted to Mr. Perkins, a Kansas woman, she was lying dead in the house, andthe'bodyof her hus band was hanging to the limb of a tree one dying of heart disease ane the other commiting suicide." POWDER Absolutely Pure. Tills powder npcr varies. A man el of purity, strength and w liolesomeness. Mon economical than the ordinary Kinds, and cannot be sold In competition i the mul titude of low test, short weight, alum or phosphate powders. Sold only in wins. ltOVAI. KAKIXG roWDFR CO.. 10G AVall-St., N, Y. if" CEIEIMTED iA STOMACH 4y 8lTTEBs rtnmnmlipr hnf etntntna a1 ama.. i. lito-pnnciplo or whatever you may chooso to call tho resistant power which battles against thocaufoiof diseaso and death, is tho grand safeguard of health. It is the garrion of tho human fortress, and when it waxes weak, tho true policy is to throw in rcinforccmen ts. In other words, when such an emergency occurs commence a courso of llostcttcr's Bittern. For salo bv Druggists and Dealers, to whom apply for Hoitotter'a Almanac for 1833. Dressmakin & Plain and Fancy Sewing. Suits aade ia tae test Style and Guaranteed to Fit- Mrs. T. S. Jewett. BOOMS OVER MRS. E. S. "WARRBN'S.l W TROYALESSKCll B lis Sunday Morning," December 10, 1882. FOR RHEUMATISM, Neuralgia, Sciatica, Lumbago, Backache, Soreness of the Chest, Gout, Quins, Sore Throat, Swet- ings ani Sprains, Burns and SceJds, General Bodily Pains, ; Tooth, Ear and Headache, Frosted Feet and Ears, and all other Pains and Aches. Ho Preparation on earth eqcals Et. Jcom Oil m a safe, sure, simple and cheap Extern! Bemedy. A trial eatafla bat the conpua&nlj trifling outlay of M Ceato, and ererj two wfff r ing with pain can bare cheap and poritirc proof of itaclaixna. Direction! in X3eTen Languages. eOLDBTALLDIU(KI8T81irDDEiLEE3 CTMEDIOTHE, A. VOGZXER Jk CO., Baltimore, 33d. , XT. 8. A.- An Illustrious Example. A story is told of .Randolph, of Roanoke, that wonderful child of genius, which is so replete with piquancy as to induce me to be lieve in its truth. A bitter per sonal enemy eof the great Virginian became the candidate of the prty to which the latter belonged. Jle stood, as was the custom ihvtbo olden times, on that side ofStbe courthouse which was taken uj.by his" party friends, raeetinr'.with recognition i hose wBcdsttirrtrShf vote for him. When Randolph walked to the polls and in a firm voice voted for his enejny, the lat ter advanced, with extended hand, to greet him. "I thank you sir, J thank you, sir," he said with some nervousness. Randolph put his hand coolly behind him, squeak ing forth at the same time: "I didn't vote for you, sir; T voted for the Democratic party!" MOTHERS, READ. Gknts: About nine years ago I liml :i child two 3 ears old and almost dead. The doctor I had attending her could not tell what ailed her. 1 asked him if he did not think it was worms. lie said no. How ever, this did not satisfy me, a I felt con vinced in my own mind that -lo had. I obtained a bottle of DK. C. aid. AN ITS CELEBRATED YERMIFUOK(gcnuine). I gave her a teaspoonful in the morning and another at nightiftenvhicli she paMMl seventy-two worms and was a well child. Since then I have never been without it In my family. The health of my children remained m pood that I had neglected watching their actions until about three w celts ago, when two of them probated the same sickly appearance that l'aiiny did nine year ago. So I thought ii inu-t be worms, and went to worknt onco w ith a bottle of IK. C. McI.ANE'S YJIKMI FUGE between four of my children, their ages being as follews: Alice, 8 years; Char ley, 4 years; Emrna,6years: .Tohn.yjears. Now comes the result: Alice and Kmnui ciinie outnl) right,but Charley paw d forly flvo and Johnny nlxnit sixty v onus. The result was so gratifying that I spent two da-s in showing the wonderful cflcct of your Vermifuge around Utlcii, and now have tho worms on exhibition in 111 v store. Yours truly, JOHN PIPKIL The genuine 1. C Mrl.ANK'S VER MIFUGE is mnnuMctnred only by Fleming Bros., Pittsburgh, Pa., and bear the signatures of C. MoLmie and Fleming- I!ro. It is never made In St. Iynil. or Wheeling. IV vure you get the genuine. Price, 25 cents iMitlle. FLEMIMG BROS., Pittsburgh, Pa. THE 4 NE PLUS" Patent WashingMacliiqc Only Premium at Portland Mc caaaics Fair is note Rnady. The owners of the SOLE SHOP RIGHT rorOrcRon will deliver free to any railroad or steamboat station on receipt of $ Specially low terms to dealer. Address P. O. Box 713 Portland. Oregon. HEADQUARTERS Foster's Emporium. Most Complete Stock in Astoria JY ovelties of all Kinds Fruits Beth Ferelfu aud DemeMtir Wines and Liquors Of Snierior Brand. FOSTER'S CORNER, 0 KX N DOCK Will you suffer with Dispcpsia and Liver Complaint ? Shiloh's Vitalizer is guaranteed to cure you. Shl by W. E. Dement. ROSCOE'S FIRST CLASS Oyster Saloon. CHKSAMrs STREET. ASTORIA. THE t'NDERSlGNnn IS PLEASED TO announce to the'nublic that helms op ened :i FIKJ4T CIiASS JESqxxs House , And furnMie-v in flrst-cl.iss st le OYSTESJS. HOT COFFEE TEA, ETC. AT TUB Ladies'.and Gent's Oyster Saloon, CHENAMUS STREET. Please qivcnie a call. ROSCOEIDIXON, Proprietor A. M. JOHNSON & Co., Kopcs ami Cordage ofall kiadN Bloc!st .Patent :mtl Itlctfaliuc of all sizes. Tho Cacmiiiie Lccson's Scotch Salmon net Twines. nicrmald Twines; Canras. all 7Sn'fX Copper Tipped Oars. The- best assortment of GROCERIES In Town. The Best COFEEES and TEAS. Trj our Melrose Baking Powder Positively the bet cer made. CANNED GOODS of all kinds put up !y best Pactcers. Richardson's and Robbin'a Canned Good. TrrwH Cash. Profits Snail. 0B-OIYE I'S A CALL-Stt WILLIAM EDGAE, Comer Mnin and Chonamus Streets, ASTORIA OREGON DEALER IN CIGARS AND TOBACCO. The Celebrated JOSEPH RODCERS & SONS GENUINE ENGLISH CUTLERY AND THE GENUINE W0STENH0LM ard othor Ensiih Cutlery. STATIONERY! FAIRCHILD'S GOLD PENS Genuine Heenhaam Pipes, etc. - A fine, stock ofsfeS. Watrkes aaa Jewelry, : Brceek ,Ia41ar Saati p - 6 - KMeW.nviy also As?rar Assortment of fine SPECTACLES awl EYE GLASSES. w B. B. FRANKLIN, UNDERTAKER, Comer Cass md Squemoqho streets, ASTORIA. - - OREGON dram: it tx WALL PAPER AN I) VINDOW SHADES ANI) UNDERTAKERS GOODS. Leinenweber & Co., P. LKIXKXU'KISKIt. H. HKOWN. KSrABMSIIPD 18&". ASTORIA. OREGON, TAMERS AD CDBSBES, Manufacturers and Importers of ALL KINDS OK TjHfs p3bc:e:il AND FINDINGS Wholesale Dealers In OIL ANI) TALLOW. elli.?ht cash price paid for tildes and (Vdlow A. V. Allen, (suL'GKsson ro i'aob Sr allkx.) Wholesale and retail denier In Praviafo, Crooktry. Glass and Plated Ware, TROPICAL AND DOMESTIC FRUITS AND VEGETABLES. Together with Wines, LiquorsJobaccoXigars IBB . .. . . "?PL..-,LlJjpt. 5 v h fin m ifcSSsHa w r I sW o5 2z! swSssWSH c L 7 1 o n1-' w 2S Sec ?S?JaM 3 m S Zl Wh 5 3 go gSfggl I WILLI AM HOWE,; DEALER IX Doors, Windows, Blinds, Transoms. Lumber. All Kinds of OAK LUMBER, GLASS, Boat Material, Etc. hBBbHHb2& j Boats of all Kinds Made to Ordf. j S"-Orders from u distance promptly attended MISCELLANEOUS. ASTORIA IRON WORKS. Bkxtox Stkkkt, Neap. Pakkek House, ASTORIA. - OREGON, GENERAL MACHINISTS AND BOILER MAKERS. LINDlMARINE ENGINES fjtonhMiWWeffe .Cam r , 'wv - r; "e S.ARNDT&FEROBEN, ASTORIA. - OREGON. The Pioneer Machine Shop BLACKSMITH SHO AND Boiler, Shop All kinds ot ENGINE, CANNERY, AND STEAMBOAT WORK Promptly attended to. A specialty made of repairing CANNERY DD3S, FOOT OF LAFAYETTE STREET. Wilson & Fisher, SHIP CHANDLERS. DKALKRS IN Iron, Steel, Coal, Anchors, Chains, TAR, PITCH, OAKUM, WROUGHT AND CUT GALVANIZED SPIKES, Nails. Copper If ails ami Burrs, Shelf Hardware, Faints and Oils Rubber and Hemp Packing of all Kinds. PROVISIONS. FltOUR AND MUX FEED. Agent3 for Salem Flouring Milk. Corner Chenamus and Hamilton Streets ASTORIA, OREGON. M. WKRT1IEIMP.K. T. WBKTJIKIMKR. M. WERTHEIMER & BRO. MANUFACTURERS OF FINE Havana and Domestic Cigars No. 518.Fraat St. Saa Francisco Notice for Publication. LAND OFFICE AT OREGON CITY ORE gon, Not. 9, 1SSJ. Notice is herpby given that the followinjr named settler has filed notice of his Inten tion to make final proof in support of his claim, and that said proof will be made he fore James B. Upton. Notary public, at Ore townTillamook county, Orecon, on Wednes day, Dec. 20, 18S2. viz : Lewis L. Shortridec, Preemption D. S. No. 3G30, for the lots 19, 18, 17, 30. 31. and 32, Sec, 12, T. 5, S. R. 11 W. and lots 24 and 25. Sec 7, T. 5, S. R. 10 W. He names the following iwtnesscs to prove his continuous residence upon, and cultiva tion of aid land. iz:. Jerome Dunn,- Oscar Fauiconer. and S. Hardy Rock, of Oretoun. Tillamook county, and AbertO. Yates, ot East Portland, Multnomah county, all of Or egon. L..T. BARIN, d43 esu C7 Register. i&3mi- AND Bracket Work A SPECIALTY. to, and satisfaction guaranteed In all cises. BUSINESS CARDS. E. HOLDKX, NOTARY PUBLIC, AUCTIONEER, COMMISSION ANI SURANCK AGEN1. T)K. J. C. SIIAFTEJt, PHYSIC! AX ad SOtCEX. (DKCTbCUXX ABZT.) Diseases orthe Taraat a Specially. Ofllcc over Conn's Drag Store. T O. BOZOKTH, &few?MdSSI ! I "mm"- &?V& S&3253 Ah; - -r b. . " v. - . 'iz &?GZ&&- qaqwrwji iy. , i -- - "O D. WMTOKr Attorney and Counselor at Law. O-Offlce In rythian Building. Reoma 11, 12. ASTORIA, --- - OREGON. TAY TUTTJLE, M. 1. PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Offick Rooms 1,2, and 3. Pythian Build in,'. Rp.siDF.Ncn Over Elberaon's Bakery, op posite Earth & Myers Saloon. A L.. FIII.TOX, M. D. PhyHician and SaxveB. OFFICE Over A. V. Allen's grocery store. Rooms, at the Parker Honse. T4I P. HICKS, PENTIST, ASTORLV, - - OREGON Rooms in Allen's building up stairs, corner of Cass and Sqeraocqhe streets. T K. liRFOBCE, DENTIST Denial Booms over Case' Stare, Chenamus Street, - - Astoria, Oregon. I Q. A. BOWLBY. ATTORNEYAT LAHV. Chenamus Street. - ASTORIA, OREGC G. A. STINSON & CO., BLACKSMITHING, At Capt. Rogers old stand, corner of Cass and Court Streets. Ship and Cannery work. Horseshoeing. Wagons made and repaired. Good work guaranteed. J. H. D. GRAY, Wholesale and retail dealer In. ALL KINDS OF FEED, Hay, Oats, Straw, Wood, Etc General storaso and Wharfage on reason able terms. Foot of Benton street. Astoria Oregon. NEW BLACKSMITH SHOP. John Feely, OITOSITE KINNEY'S CANNERY Blacksmithing, Boiler Wrkr ami Cannery Repair All Work Warranted. MM I JCTfNW6- glffS'y; .-.---......- .- i' - mwirwrtrrmm ,r Tf "e,eri--Ai-?' ,'su ;-.-.. i- cT-