)
flTkifc
WmIv
Vol. XYIII.
Astoria, Oregon, Saturday Morning, October 28, 1882.
No. 24
R
2 '
... "V
V
s
- 4
!
THE GIVE-AWAY GAME.
How Easily an American Crowd J
Can Be Duped. J
"Do you know," said ji man who J
was selling, jpwelery from a dry
goods box to a reporter of the At
lanta Constitution, "that the
Americans are the easiest humbug
ged of any in the world? It is
true and I have helped to humbug
them about as much as the aver
age man." Somebody had just
been reading an account of the
Louisvjlle lottery drawing, which
brought forth this speech.
"Can't you tell me some of your
experience in that line?" asked a
man near.
"Well, you would laugh to know
what fools people make of them
selves sometimes. About two
years ago 1 was down in Bruns
wick, where. I saw a fellow run
ning a perfectly square game, but
which was the most out and out
steal ever heard of. Jlis plan
was simple, and hundreds ol the
very best people of the town
flocked to give him a trial. lie
rented a store and put a show-case
across the counter in the center
In the show-case he had, I know.,
my hat full of ten and twenty
dollar gold coins, piled in a heap
in one corner, and in the other
about the same sized pile of silver
dollars. A dice box and six dice
completed the outfit. By paying
half a dollar a man had one throw
with the dice. If he threw six
sixes he took the entire pile of
gold; if he threw six aces he was
entitled to all the silver. Of course,
no one ever threw all the sixes,
neither was it possible to get the
nces to come all in a bunch. A
man might as well expect to get
struck by lightning from a cloud
less sky at noon-day as to throw
six aces; it is almost an impossi
bility, that's all. Well, the iellow
made several hundred dollars and
loft."
"Did 3'ou ever hear of how eas
it is to fool a man with "soap?" con
tinued the talker. "We street men
know that as an old story, of
course. I was down to Troy,
Ala., several months ago, when a
Iellow came along almost strapped.
He went to a grocery store, bought
si few bars of this transparent
soap, cut it into small pieces sibout
the size of one's thumb, wrapped
it in a colored tissue paper very
neatly, and then covered the pack
age with tin foil, sprinkled the
whole -with a bottle of cologne to
give it a good smell. Well, sir,
that fellow got on a box and soon
gathered a crowd by some nice
talk, and proposed to take out all
the grease from hats, coats, etc.,
that could be brought in. The
first case presented was the city
marshal, who walked up with a
great spot in his coat which he
wanted taken out. The fellow car
ried a sponge -well saturated with
benzine and arnica, which of it
self will take out almost anything,
and by using a bit of thesoap, soon
had the marshal's coat etirely free
from grease. That started the soap
sales, and in two or three hours
it being Saturday and a crowd in
town, the soap man had sold 30
worth, nearly all of which was clear
profit."
Stopping to draw a long breath
the jewelry man continued his in
teresting story. "I tell you you
can humbug anybody. I am. not
unlike the rest of the world. I
believe I would bite at my own
tricks if I could only get in the
crowd."
l$r. - "The way to do it is this: Get
' $r a lot of fine gold rings which cost
- about a dollar a dozen and profess
to beadvertisingsomebiggoldcon-
s j. --cern in New York. I called mine
.--rthe great brazed gold ot San
v Francisco, stated that I would.
show the crowd a thing or two, sitid
soon got them interested. First,
1 made a speech in which I stated
my business; then I commenced
to offer for sale the rings from
two cents up, telling them that
the' could not be bought for icss
than four dollars apiece sit a jewel
er's. I let out about twenty rings
at two cents, and then asked
every bod who had bought rings
to hold them up. Every ring was
in the air. 'Now, said 1, addressing
the crowd, 'this isyour money ,is it?'
'Yes,'sai:l a dozen. 'And 3'ou gave it
up freely for the rings?" 'Yes,'
came again in chorus. 'Very
well, here's twenty cents for you,
sir,' and twenty cents for 3'ou, sir,
and so on around the crowd.
They commenced to wonder what
in the world I meant; said 1 was
crazy and a lot of other things,
but J only told them 1 was adver
tising goods for my house and had
plenty more things to give siway.
Xcxt 1 took up some of my hand
some diamond studs which 1 ex
plained were Lake George dia
monds, equal to any on earth, etc.,
and that 1 wsis going to sell them
for twenty-five cents up, the more
paid the better it would be, of
course, for him. Twenty studs
were soon out and the s-'ame
speech made. Then 1 made the
crowd hold up the diamonds, and
each man got fifty cents back
who had bought.
"This thing got to be very
interesting , and the crowd
mumbercd i00 or -100. Then I
got out some boautiiul gold phited
sleeve buttons, which I explained
could not be bought for less than
12. These 3 proposed to sell for
fifty cents each, giving to all who
bought a doliar additional sis be
fore, each time doubling the money
gift. The buttons soon went off,
as had the other things, and 1 was
ready for the final "bite" the
crowd. The twenty pair of
sleeve buttons had been sold
for half a dollar, and 1- had
given back twenty silver dollars.
That fellow's a darned fool, I heard
all around me, but I replied to
this by saying that hist week, in
Macon, I had given awsiy 1000,
and was ready to do it again.
"The crowd was perfectly crazy
to see what csimc next. 1 1 was
watch chains. The chains 1 wsis
to sell at any price from 2.30 to
anything sibovc that one wanted
to give, I telling them the while
that the more they paid the better
it would be for them. I hinted
that the watches would come next,
smd this let them off like a lot of
madmen. The trick now was to
sell as many chains as possible at
2.50. 1 had a devil of a lot of
chains, and so sent them out
right and left. The dollars came
rushing blindly at me, and 1 raked
them in like chaff. Then I got
out of chains.
Previously I had prepared two
big silk handkerchiefs, exactly
alike, and sis soon sis the chains
were all sold I took the money,
and, in the presence of the crowd,
tied it sill up together, and after
making a speech, proposed to
throw the bundle in the crowd for
the best man to take. While talk
ing I purposely dropped the
bundle into my little box by my
side, in which 1 had 1113 other
handkerchief. In this was ten dol
lars in silver smd some paper to
make it stand out and look like the
one I had dropped. All this had
been arranged beforehand, of
course, With a whoop, I swung
around my head after stooping to
pick it up where I first dropped it,
and up it went into the air. Great
heavens! you should have seen the
mob! I never saw anything like
it. They fought like tigers over
the handkerchief, while I tdok
occasion to leave the spot. 1 had
sdso arranged to btingthe thing to
a climax sibont the time the Albany
train left, so 1 was driven at once
to the depot. I3ut 1 got very weak
in the knees while, waiting sit the
depot. I was a little too soon, smd
about a dozen young men run up.
rsiisiug the very mischief of a noise,
which 1 thought was for me. smd
it proved to be true.' They saw
me and came siround me laughing
and knocking each other like
crazy men. 1 didn't know what
on earth wsis the matter, until they
told me it was the best joke that
had ever been played on Bruns
wick, smd, although they had been
victimized, they wanted to assure
me it wsis all right.
"1 had sold the chains to nearly
all the best men in Brunswick,
some of them paying me as high
as So for them. 1 was satisfied to
lesive, and had my revenge. You
may put it down for si fact that
any siverage American crowd can
be humbugged the same wsiy every
day in the year." Chicago
Herald.
Tnanksgiving Proclamation.
In conformity with a custom, the
annual observance of which is just
ly held in honor by this people, I,
Chester A. Arthur, president of
the United States, do herein' set
sipart Thursday, the 23d day of
November next, as a day of pub
lic thanksgiving.
The blessings demanding our
jrratitudc are numerous and varied:
for the peace and amity which sub
sist between this republic and all
the nsitions of the world; for free
dom from internal discord and
violence; for increasing friendship
between the different sections of
the land of liberty, justice and
constitutional government; for the
devotion of the people to our free
institutions and their cheertul obe
dience to the mild laws; for the
constantly increasing strength ol
the renublic, while extending its
privileges to fellow men who come
to us; for improved means of in
ternal communication; for in
creased facilities of intercourse
with other nations; for the general
prevailing health of the year; for
the prosperity of all our indus
tries, a liberal return for the me
chanic's toil, affording markets for
the abundant harvests of the hus
bandman; for the preservation of
the national faith and credit; for
the wise and generous provisions
to effect the intellectual and moral
education of our youth; for the
influence upon the conscience of
restraining and transforming relig
ion, and for the joys of home. For
these and for many other blessings
we should give thanks.
Wherefore I do recommend that
the da' above destined be ob
served throughout the county as a
day of national thanksgiving and
prayer, and that people, ceasing
from their daily labor and meeting
in accordance with their several
forms of worship, drsiw near to the
throne of .almighty God, offering
to him praises and gratitude for
the manifold good which he has
vouchsafed to us, and praying that
his blessings and mercies . msiy
continue.
And 1 do further recommend
that the day thus appointed may
be mside a special occsision for
deeds of kindness and charity to
the suffering and needy, so that
all who dwell within the land may
rejoice and be glad in this season
of national thanksgiving-.
In witness whereof I hereunto
set my hand and cause the seal
of the United States to be affixed.
Done at the city of Washington
this twenty-fifth day of October,
in the year of our Lord one thou
sand eight hundred and eighty-
two, and of tin independence of J
the United States the one hundred j
smd seventh.
Ciiestki: A. Airnir!:.
By the president:
Fi:i:ii:i:ukT.Fi:elixi;iii;v--i:.
.Sceretarv of state
Otis Hathaway, Esq., l' Hock
street, Pall Biver. Mass., llad a
very bad attack of rheumatism,
which racked him soivly. Finally
he could scarcely move. St. .la
cobs Oil was tried, and proved to
be the only remedy that did any
good. Two weeks' uc f it ren
dered him as chipper smd active a
ever.
The man who worships the
fortune lie has made is no more
intelligent than the heathen who
prays to the little wooden god he
hsis whittled into shape.
GERillEDY
FOR
RHEUMATISM
?
Neuralgia, Sciatica Lumbago,
Backache, Soreness of the Chest,
Gout, Quinsy, Soro Throat, Swell
ings and Sprains, Burns and
Scalds, General Bodily
Pains,
Tooth, Ear and Hoadacho, Frosted
Feet and Ears, and all other
Pains and Aches.
No Preparation on farth equals St. J.'cobs Oil
u a nfc, sure, simple and cheap External
Bemttly. A trial on tails but the conparaliTcly
trifling outlay of 50 Onls, and every ono suffer
ing with pain can hsvo cheap and positive proof
pf its claims.
Direction! in Eleven Languages.
80LD BY ALLDBUGGI8TS AND DEALERS
IH MEDICINE.
A. VOGtLER & CO.,
UalCimorc, 2Xd., V. S.A.
Cats arc not mentioned in the
Bible. They wore all so poor and
kept so many dogs in those days
that cats had to keep in the
swamps.
The London Rothschilds' pres
ent to the British troops compos
ing the expedition to Egypt was
15,000 pounds of tobacco and 20,
000 wooden pipes.
SYMPTOMS OF WORMS.
Tlie countcnai.ee is pale and leaden
colored, with occasional Hushes of a cir
cumscribed simi on one or Ixith cheeks;
the eyts laconic dull; the pupils dilate;
an azure semicircle runs alon the lower
cyi-liil; the nose is irritated, .swells, and
.sometimes bleeds ; si s elliu of the tipper
lip; occasional headache, with hummtu
or throbbing of the ears; an unusual se
cretion of saliva; hllmy or furred tongue;
breathverj foul, part icuhirly in the morn
ing; appetite vaiiablc, sometimes vora
cious, with a gnawing heiiMation of the.
stomach ; at others, entirely gone; fleeting
pains In the stomach; occasional nausea
and vomiting; violent pains throughout
the alxlonicn; bowels Irregular, at times
costive; stools j,llmy, not unfrequcutly
tinged with blood ; belly swollen and hard ;
urine turbid ;rcspirat ion vcasiounlIy diffi
cult and accompanied by hiccough ; cough
.Noinctimesilrynnd convulsive; uneasy and
disturbed 1 sleep, withgrindingof thcteeth;
temper variable, but generally irritable.
Whenever the uhovc symptoms uro
found to exist.
Ml. C. MeLAXE'S YEKMIFUtiti
will certainly effect :i cure.
In buviug Vermifuge be sure you .!
the genuine IK. C. JkUXK'S Vi:u:.!l
I'l'CK, manufactured by Fleming l?ri.,
:M Wood Street, Pittsburgh, Ia. The
m.irket Is full of counterfeit.-. You will
be right if it hits the signature or Tinn
ing Itros. and C. Mclniie.
If your slorekeeier docs not hae t'ie
genuine, please report to in
Send us a three cent stamp for I hand
some advertising cards.
FLE3UMJ BROS., PitlsIniRfli. I'a.
I. "W. CASE,
IMPORTER AND WHOLESALE AND HE
TAIL' DEALER IN
GENERAL MERCHANDISE
Corner Chenanius and Cass streets.
ASTORIA. .... OREGON
HJALiJP'llii!
tSfegh
King of tlie Blood
K inr a "cun" all" it i :i Mood-pinHicr ami
tonic IiiijmnU of the blood poison. the.sVN
tem. derange- the circulation. ;md thus In
duces in.my dl-oider. known bv different
names to distiumiWh them according to ef
fects, hut being really branches or pliacs of
thai lc.it generic disorder. Impurity ot
itlooil. Such are J)itpC))ia, ltfHiou.nr,
Lr r fini)ihiinl. Cim-tijmtiim. Xcrmu Dh
mlrrt. J Ir.jilachr. JUicl.aclic, General iVcali
ulx. I hoi I DUuure.Tiriti&ii. Kidney J)icnr.
l'ilc. Ilhcunmliim. Ctttitrrh, Scrofula, Shin
Di-virtU n. I'tnifilen. Ulmv. Siccltiny. Ac..
AV. liins: or the Ztiood. prewnts and
cure these 5 attacking the chhw. Impurity
oftheWoi.d. Chttiiistsand physicians auree
in i'.t!I:!iur it "the most genuine and efficient
preparation fcr the punoe." Sold by Drug
::itN.s;l per bottle. j-V testimonials'. direc
tions, fee., in pamphlet, "Treatise on Diseases
ot tin- Uiood." wrapped around eacli bottle.
I). HANSOM. SON & Co., Props
Buffalo, X. Y.
ROSCOE'S FIRST CLASS
Oyster Saloon,
CIIEXAMUS STREET, ASTORIA.
mm-: undersigned is pleased .to
JL announc" to the public that lie has op
ened a
FIRST 'L.YSS
JSttiTig,- Kouse ,
And furnishes hi lirst-eI:issMIe
OY.STI'.K-s. HOT COFFEE TEA, ETC.
AT TIIK
Ladies" and Gent's Oyster Saloon.
CIIEXAMUS STKEET.
rie.-i.se Rive me a call.
KOSCOECniXOX, Proprietor
A. M. JOHNSON & Co.,
Hopes :tmt Cordage oi'nll Uiutl.s,
lilnchs. lnt!i mill 3Ict inline of
:ill sizes.
Tlie lietitiine T.eeson's Neoleli
.Salmon net Tuine.s.
37erm:iil 'Fiviue: Canvas, nil
3fs: Copper Tipped Oars.
The best assortment of
GROCERIES
In Town.
The Best CttFF.IICS nzi TEAS.
Try our nielroseBaliins Ponder
IVwitivelj the best exermade.
IX&.IS'SgZSX GOODS
of all kinds put up by best PacKcrs.
Ifichanlson's mitt lfohhiu's dinned (lends.
Terms Ciinm. SVolitM Small.
B-C.IVE i'S A CALL-:
WILLIAM EDGAR,
Corner Alain ?ndChonamnsStrcob,
ASTOKIA OREGON
I!LVt.K!l IS
CIGARS AND TOBACCO,
The Celebrated
JOSEPH ROOCERS & SONS
GENUINE ENGLISH CUTLERY
AND THE GENUINE W0STENH0LM
and other English Cutlory.
SXATICP JSTERY X
FAIRCHILD'S GOLD PENS
Genuine BXeershaum Pipes, etc.
A fine stock of
Watrhe anil Jewelry, IZuzzIc ami
IJreecli liOndtiis Shot nn.s ami
KUIe.s, Ilevolverw. lMstolM,
and Ammunition
maicixi:
LVR?3N1PWEK1.., w -
taii.-issnr.a
AI-SO A FIXE
Assortment or fine SPECTACLES and EYE
U LASSES.
B. B. FKANKLTN,
UNDERTAKER,
Corner Cass and Sqttenioqhe streets,
ASTORIA, --- - OREGON
DKA I.Kit IX
WALL PAPER
AND
WINDOW SHADES
AND
UNDERTAKERS GOODS.
Notice.
ALL PARTIES INDEBTED TO, OR hold
ins any indebtedness airahist Andrew
.lolmsou, deceased, of the Union Packing
Co.. n HI please call on the undersigned at
the Astoria Liquor Store, within thirty days
and settle -:mo.
AUG DAXIELSOX,
1IEXRY MATTSON.
Astoria, Oct, 3, 1SS2.
z
ilk V
ffJvM
rffina. tn
i zHrH 5
f
9 S -a CD
J"1 o
O
WILLIAM HOWE
-DUALKK
Doors, Windows, Blinds, Transoms, Lumber.
All kinds of
OAK" TJTMRflR
GLASS,
Boat Material, Etc.
ilialSP
SBBBBB
Boats of all Einds Made to Order.
JS?"OrtIers from a distance promptly attended
MISCELLANEOUS.
ASTORIA IRON WORKS.
Bextox Stkkkt, Neak Paiikki: House,
ASTOKIA. - OBEGON.
GENERAL MACHINISTS AND
BOILERlsMAKERS.
LAADiMARINE ENGINES
Boiler Work, Steamboat Work,
and Cannery Work a specialty.
Of nil Descriptions made, to Order
at Short 2'otiee.
A. D. Wass, rrcsiilent.
.1. (;. IIl'stlkr, Secretary.
I. W. Cask, Treasurer,
.lonx Pox, Superintendent
S. AllNDT & EERCHEN,
ASTOKIA. - OKEfSOX.
The Pioneer Machine Shop
BUVCK8MITH
SHOP
AXt ('
Boiler Shop
All kinds of
ENGINE, CANNERY,
.VXD
STEAMBOAT WORE
Promptly attended to.
A specialty made of repairing
CANNERY DIES,
FOOT OE LAFAYETTE STKEET.
B. F. STEVENS.
C. S. BKOWX
CITY
BOOK STORE.
Where you will find all the- standard works
or tlie day,aud uconstantlycIianKiii
stock of nn cities and lancy
articles: we keep tlie
licst:vs.sortment of
varictv uoods
in " the
city.
Pocket Books,
Picture Frames,
Steroscopes, Mu
"sical Instruments,
Sheet Music, Bijou
terie, & Celluloid
Goods, etc., etc.
B F.STEVEXS&CO.
HEADQUARTERS
Fosters Emporium.
Most Complete Stock in Astoria
Novelties of all Kinds
Fmits Both Foreign anil IomeMtie
Wines and Liquors
Of Superior Brand.
FOSTER'S CORNER, 0 IS &K DOCK
wfgv
:!tSMre
" Ct 2
SZ! SW 50
o zO g c
T o 5
p P s
f :
IX-
AXD
Bracket Work
A SPECIALTY.
to. and satisfaction guaranteed in all case.
BUSINESS CARDS.
lj V. HOliOKX,.
VOTAKY PUBLIC,
AUCTION' EhB, COMMISSION AND
SUBAXCE AGENT.
D
K. .1. V. SIIAFTKK,
rnVSICIl and SVKCSF.'.
(DKUTSCnKtt AR7T.)
IisenMe.H ortlieThrestmMpeciRlty.
Office over Conn's Drug Store.
T O. KUZORTH,
IT. S. CniuiuirisIoBer, Xetarj lMbJIe. anil
Insurance Agent.
Agent tor the HanihurK-Urcmen Fire las. Co.
of llainhunr, (Jermany, and of the Trav
elers' Lire and Accident las. Co., of Hait
fonl.Conn." d-OflIce in Pthian BidldnTg. Hooias tl, VI.
Q.KI.O F. PARKKR.
SURVEYOR OF
Clatsop Comity, ami City fit Astoria
Otllce:-Chenamus street, Y. M.C. A. hall
Kooin No. 8.
Xp . WIXTON,
Attorney and Counselor at Law.
a"Oflice iu Pythian Building. Koonis 11, 12.
ASTOWA, -.- - OREGON.
JAY TUTTL.E, M . .
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON.
Office Over the "White IIou.se Store.
Kksidknck OverElberson'.s Bakery, op-no-iite
Bartti & Myers' Saloon.
li. FUIrOX. M . I.
IMiyHielaa aad SHrv'en.
OFFICE Over A. V. Allen.'.s grocery store.
Booms, at the Parker House.
Tjl P. HICKS,
PENTIST,
ASTOBIA, --. - OBEGON.
Booms in Allen's building up Main, corner
of C.isi and Siieiuocqhe streets.
T i:. 1-iiFORCE.
DENTIST
Denial KoomH over I'ane Store,
Cheiiaiuus Street, - - Astoria, Oregon.
I Q. A. BOWLBY.
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Chenamus Street. - ASTORIA, OREGON
G. A. STINSON & CO.,
BLACKSMITHING,
At Capt. Rogers old stand, corner of Ca.13
andCourt Streets.
Ship and Cannery work. Horseshoeing.
Wilsons made and repaired. Good work
guanmteed.
xAmoRxxrcK
Cleaning Repairing.
XI-LVT, CHEAP AND QUICK, BY
EORE L.OVKTT.
Mam Street, opposite N. Loeb'g,
$500 Reward.
We will pay the above reward for any caso
of Liver Complaint. Dyspepsia, Sick Head
ache, indigestion. Constipation or Costlve
ness we cannot cure with West's Vegetable
Liver PilN, when the directions are strictly
complied w ith. They are purely Vegetable,
and neer fail to give satisfaction. Sugar
coated. Large boxes, containing 30 nils, 25
cents. For sale by all Druggists. Beware ot
counterfeits and imitations. The genuine
manufactured only by Johx C. West & Co..
"The Pill Maker,'' 181 and 183 W. Madison
St., Chicago. Free trial package sent by
mali,l1.rnaId ou receipt of a 3 cent stump,
W . E. Dement, agent.