0)
i
li&tttxittn.
lUilwl'VjO
.
roL xvii.
Astoria, Oregon. Friday Morning, September 1 , L882
2To. 131.
THE WEATHER FIEND.
liPrnttv ir.l.m ' tlir mnn in tlin
4. I.ill ,?WJU. 144V IIJC14I JU, CUV
ih:n clothes said to the man in the
oornor eai a the South Hill car
was roining1 down tho Division
stivot steps.
i: What's pretty warm? growled
the man in the corner.
cWhy, the -weather.'
"What weather? more ruflly
than vcr.
'Why," the man with thin
clothes said, looking as though he
wished he hadn't begun it. 'lhis
weather.'
"Well," aid the man in the cor
ner, -'how's this weather any dif
ferent from any other?"
The man with the thin clothes
looked nervously at the dumb mule
and said, "t was warmer.'
"How do yon know it is?" asked
the man in the corner.
The other man began to wish he
was well out of it, and said he sup
posed it was; he hadn't heard how
the
-'Isn't the weather the .same
cvciywhere?" savagely demanded
the man In the coiner.
" "Why no,' the man with the
thin clothes replied, wishing to
goodness he had a newspaper to
hide behind: "no, it's warmer in
somo places and in some places it's
colder."
"What makes it wanner in some
places than it's colder in others?"
i emorselessly pursued the man in
the corner.
"Why,' the man with the thin
clothes said piteously, "the sun,
with the effect ol the sun's heat.'
"Makes it colder in somo places
than it's wanner in others?" roared
the man in the corner, iudignantly.
"Xever heard of such a thing."
"Xo," the man in the thin clothes
hastened to explain. "I didn't
mean that. The sun makes it
warm.'
"Then what makes it colder?'
pursued the remorseless man in the
corner.
The man irf the thin clothes
wiped the beaded perspiration from
his pallid brow, and said slowly he
guessed, "'it was the ice."
"What ice?" demanded the in
quisitor. "Why, the victim said, with
all symptoms of approaching dis
solution apparent in his tremulous
voice, "the ice that was frozen
frozen by the frost."
"Did you over see any ice that
wasn't frozen?" howled the man in
the corner in a burst of derision.
The man in the thin clothes
huskily whispered that he wished
he was dead, and said: "Xo, that
is, he believed ho didn't.
"Then," thundered the man in
man in the corner, "What are you
talking about?"
The man in thin clothes then j
made an effort to brace up, and
spicily replied that he was
"trying to talk about the weath-
CM
err '
"'And what do you know about
it?" triumphantly roared the man
in the corner. "What do you know
about the weather?"
The man in the thin clothes lost
his grip again, and feebly said he
didn't know very much about it,
that was a fact." And when he
tried to be cheerful and work in a
little joke about nobody being able
to know much about the weath-
er, the man jn the corner sat
down on linn with a tremendous
outburst.
"Xo, sir! I should sa- rou
didn't. You come In this car and
force yoursell on the attention of a
Granger, and begin to talk to me
about tho weather, just as though
you owned it, and I find that you
don't know a solitary thing about
the matter you yourself selected for
your topic of conversation; j-ou
don't know one thing about rueteo-
rological conditions, principles orj
tnUnnmnno. ...... ..r'r 4ll mau-livi
1 IJili;iJVMlli;il4l IJU V.U11 t. IUII lilt J
tit is wmm in August and cold in
December: 3-011 don't know why
icicles form fater m the sunlight
than they do in the shade; you don't
know why the earth giows colder
as it comes near the sun: von can't
tell why a man can be miii stiuck
in the shade; you can?r tell me
how a cyclone is formed nor how
tho trade winds blew: you couldn't
find the calm center of a storm if
your life depended on it; you
don't know what a sirrocco is, nor
where the soutlr.veit monsoon
blows; you don't know the aver
age rainfall in the Cnitd States
for the past and current 3'ear;
you don't understand the formation
of fog, and 3-011 can't explain why
the dew falls at night and dries up
in the day; 3011 don't know why a
winddries thegi omul quicker than a
hot sun; you don't know one soli-tar-
thing about the weather,
just like a thousand and one other
people who" always begin talking
about the weather becauc they
don't know anything else, when,
by the cave of Boreas, tir, they
know less about the weather than
they do about anything else in the
world.'
And the man in iho corner glared
at the timid passengers in the
South Hill car, but no man durst
answer him. And as for the man
in thin clothes, he didn't know for
the life of him whether he had a
sunstroke or an ague chill. He
only knew that it seemed about
twenty-seven miles to the Jeffer
son street crossing. JiurUntjlon
Ilaxckcye.
The V7eightof a RIillioiiD pilars.
Mr. E. 13. Elliott, the governor
or actuary, has computed the
weight of a million dollars in gold
and silvei coin, as follews: The
standard gold dollar of the United
States contains of gold of nine
tenths fineness 2C5.S grains, and
the standard silver dollar contains
of silver or nine-tenths of fineness,
412.5 grains. One million stand
ard gold dollars, consequently
weigh 25,800,000 grains, or o3,7.fo
ounces troy, or -1,179 1-0 pounds
troy, of o,7G0 grains each, or
3,085.71 pounds avoirdupois of
7,000 grains each, or 1,843-1,000
"short" tons or 2.000 pounds
avoiidupois each, or 1,OJ5-,000
long tons of 2,20 pounds avoir
dupois each. One million stand
ard silver dollars weigh 412,500,-
,000 grains, or Su0,35 ounces troy,
or 71,G11.5S pounds tro3, or 5S,
028.57 pounds avoirdupois, or 29,--1G4,-1,000
"short.', tons of 2,000
pounds avoirdupois each, or 20,-307-1,000
"long" tons of 2,240
pounds avoirdupois each. In
round numbers, the following
table represents the weight of a
million dollars in the coins named:
Description of coin. Tons.
Standard gold coin 12
oianuaru silver com "fit
uuiniuiiuj ail Vl'l UOIU
Minor coin, five cent nickel.
Scientific
! in frcfiji.
Whenever Gerge Peck, of the
Milwaukee Sun, sees a girl kissing
her pet dog, he thinks of the
dreadful places where the dog's
nose has been during the da3',
and it makes him sick. This is a
view of it that perhaps has not
occurred to the woman who kisses
her dog, but it is certainly woithy
0f her careful consideration
lt is said there is gold enough
in Snake river valle3 to pay the
national debt, if it could be saved.
Un hundreds of thousands of
acres it can be found with a com-
mon gold pah. But the gold is so
t - light that it escapes all known
processes.
Old Scrofulous Sores and Had
Ulcers removed bv the OREflDN"
liLOOD PURIFIER.
A Rival to Mark Twain's Frog-
A -zenth'man from Hartwellsent
to the Great Western Gun Works
and put chased a smail parlor rifle,
with one thous-md cartiidges of
the smallest size, the bullets being J
about the size of a ductahoi. lie?
went to 13enon- mill pond, fr-'g.
hunting, and found a very large'
frog of the masculine gender sil-'
ting on a log just above the water.,
He shot twenty-seven times at him,
when his frogship lost his balance
and dropped over into the shallow
water. Upon taking the frog out
it was found he had swallowed
twenty-six of the bullets, catching
them in his mouth, supposing them
flies. When he went to move, the
weight of the lead carried him
overboard and when taken out he
was not dead but awful sullen.
Hariioclh Ga., Sun.
Indian Massacres.
Trsco.s, Aug. oO. A band of
unknown Apaches raided the val
ley paily last evening and is re
ported to have killed quite a number
of men, women and children,
amounting to twenty in all. They
have taken all the ranches from
Calabasas to the line and the peo
ple are coming into Calabasas for
safety. Joe's band have crossed
the line into Arizona. Tt is be
lieved it is he who is 'raiding
the settlements. Capr. Madden,
commanding at Kort Ilauachuca is
in pursuit of the fndians raiding
Santa Cruz valley. The killing of
Marlinos and family yesterday oc
curred only fifteen miles south of
the tragedies reported from Cala- j
ba-as.
mm i
yellow Fever.
Washington, Aug. 29. Tele
graphic advices from Brownsville
report seveniN cases of -ellow fe
ver and two deaths during the
past twenty-four hours. A hos
pital has been established to ac
commodate 00 patients with suffi
cient supplies to last two weeks.
The official icport of General
Lowe, regarding the action of tho
cavalry at Kassassin, confirms the
details already printed, lie says
that after the charge the ground
was strewn with the bodies of dead
Egyptian infantry. After praising
the gallantry of the household
cavalry, Gen. 1 .owe add: their ex
cellent behavior at all times was
on a par with it. Gen. Woiseloy
states that the enemy are now
throwing up works in front of Kas-
sassin.
The Theater Royal, Victoria,
was torn lown lately. This is the
last of the old Hudson fiav com
pany's storehouses that formerly
stood within the inclosure called
"the Fort." The palisades sur
rounding the fort were of timber
some eijrnteen leet m heisrht.
Tlie Theater Uoyal buiidino; was
erected in 1S4G, and was the. fur
storchoufee. Gradually the town
began to assume a settled appear
ance. Rude dwellings sprang up
here and there and a map was pre
pared in 1S03 or 18"4. Then the
Hudson Hay company began to
sell lots. The price of the choic
est corner locations was from .30
to 100. Early fn 1S5S came, the
discovery of gold on the Fraser
river and a rush to the country
took place from California. As
many as '25,000 persons came
north. The whole of the town site
in the summer of 1838 was cover
ed with tents of Californians, wlTo
waited for the river to fall before
proceeding to dig gojd. The S50
and 8100 lots grew to bo worth
fabulous sums.
I. G. Davidson, photographer, Port
land, still retains the negatives taken at
Astoria last year, and will furnish dupli
cates from them on short notice, ,1-is
landscape views'are much admired and
In large demand. dwlm
SYMPTOMS OF WORMS,
111 t .I'j-i-rtiv v i-. pale anil leaden-,ij-i.
vi.ih n.1 to.ial Huln. f a rlr
a:neiil --.i on one or both Oieel:;
tin c-..- . uu '"iill; tm j;iJl"i "llaie;
vi :!. ;?-i.-i !. vji along tltc lower
rn.-lM: iIja ?' . instated, swells and
Kniiifiiiiio- Meeds ; n -u-olUiisin'iln1 upper
lip; o -lsn.nnl hcndiirlie, Willi humming
or tlMiii5 of t!ie puis; an nni;-u:il se
rration of saliva: diiiiynriurnsd tmigue;
linM-lior iiiiU, pnni4Ui!nt!y In ilieinom
in'4; iiiipitlit :umlle, -rmio:iiiif- om
elou, tii'l: 11 iuawiiiK M-nsr.tlon of the
-..rciii-!i; U oiwr-,oiinoly fom; ileetinj;
pain in the s'om.t'ii; ih'chmiiiijI nausea
mid voiiiltlnc; ioU-ut pains throughout,
thf alMtoincit; Ijmu-U irregular, at times
e-tlw; stools slimy, not unfiTqnrniry
tinged with h'oftd : Ikelly .swollen and hard;
u '1 1 if turbid ; respiration iKC...-ion:.!I dittl
1 nil and itivoniiinnied hy hiccough ; cough
Aomctinieslryr.nd convulsive; uiicn and
disturbed sleep, with grlndlngof the teeth :
temper ariahle, but uenemllj irritable.
Whenever the nboe nipt iins an
found to exist.
!Ji. ('. McLAXE'S VlT.MIlTUi'
will eertainly effect a Piirc
In buyinij Vermlfnire be suie ou vi-'.
the jiMsnnie IR. C. McI.AXir.S Vi:i:3i I.
I'L't:!:. manufactured by lleijilnjr isr.f
i'l "Wood Street, ntt-slmrch, l.i. The
marktt is full of eounterfeits. You will
be rlshi If it has the signature- of PIimh
iiik I'ro.. and ;. -Mctane.
If your storekeeper does not h.ie ti.e
Kenuine, pleao report to us.
Send n- a three eent Mamp for I ...tn.;
somc a.l ertialug card.
FLEMIa(J BROS., PIttslmrgh. Pa.
A M. JOHNSON7,
ukai.fi: i.n
SHIP OHANDLKIiy.
Groceries, Provisions, Cheese,
BUTTER, ECCS, ETC..
iWXNT.n (H)ODS OF. Mil. K1VOS.
Blocks, Hemp and Manilla
Ropes.
Salmon Net Twines,
Drilling, Jib Hanks,
Clew Irons, Thimbles, Mast
Hoops,
Anil all otlior 1'iinjis m-ciled t. ill mi! owl?
of all kinds.
i:.Vl HOOK TO rVTJIIAX IIA1.I..
MAGNUS C. CROSBY,
HARDWARE; IROlUTEEIi,
Iron Pipe and Fittings,
Pl.V M KKUS AND STKAM FITTRTtf'
Goods &nd Tools.
SHEET LEAD STRIP LEAD
SHEET IRON TIN AND COPPER,
Stoves, Tin Ware and House
Furnishing Goods.
JOBBING IN SHEET IRON. TIN. GOP
PER PLUMBING and STTAhl FITTING
Done with neatness and disjuttrh.
Xuiti but Ursl class work nii-ii ruiplujeit:
A lfir: assort lUiMltolJ
S C A LIZ P
Constantly on liainl
Wa EL ISISMEWFT
ASTORIA. ORKCOX 5f
DRUGS AND CHEMICALS,
Toilet and Fancy Articles,
PATENT MEDICINES, ETC.
"Prescriptions carefully compounded'at
all hours.
S"IIomeopathlc Tinctures and Toilets
and Humphrey's Specific? also kept.
fi" CELEBRATED lX
i 0TO.SACH
ITTERS
.lloatctlcr's Stomach Cittcra extin'Jtes dys
pepsia with sreater certainty and proinpli
tuilo than any knoirn remedy, and is a most
genial invigornnt, appetizer and aid to secre
tion. Tlicso aro not empty abortions, ns
thousands of ourcountrymen and women Tvho
haro experienced its effects nro airarc, but
aro backed up by irref arable, proof?. Tho
Hitters also fclvo a hoaltbfnl stimulus to tho
urinary organs.
For sale by alt DrussUts and Dealers
generallv.
1m iBUt-
1 srsbhhbbhr
ROSCOE'S FIRST CLASS
Oyster Saloon, i5p
ciirv witrs sntiiKT. Astoria.
j mm-: i Ni)i:i:sif:.i:n is pleased to
: ,L announce In tli'!(mldi that hp has op
j ouod a
j 3E2 vtg; Cou.is ,
ml runiSlies ni fnl-elass sttle
ovsrr.!:. nor cot-n:n tka. irro.
r tiik
Ladies' and Gent's Oyster Saloon,
rjiKNAMf-s sTitKirr.
I'Jeaso j:ie me v. rail.
lav-fiU". IUXON, I'ropriotor
Wilson & Fisher,
SHIP CHANDLERS.
ii:.r.i:i:; tx
Iron, Steel. Coal. Anchors, Chains,
TAR, PITCH, OAKUM,
WKfiniHT AND Cl'T (JAI.VAMZKD
SPIKES,
Itniis. Copper Shiis ami Burrs.
Shelf Hardware, Paints and Oils
Rubber and Hemp Pcichinq of all Kinds.
PROVISIONS.
Fj.ont a:sd uiitx fi:ki.
A;;enl-. for S.1I0111 riouriin IiH.
Cornor CIienainiK and Hamilton Streets
ASTOUJA. OHEGON.
B. B. FKANKLTN,
UNDERTAKER,
Corner C.i nntl Sqiitnioqlip streets,
ASTOltrA, - - OTIKOOX
IIKM.FU I.V
WALL PAPER
Al
V IN DOW SHADES
AND
UXDKKTAKEKS GOODS.
Prossm vPci-n g ,
t'lnin ami Fancy
SEWING OP ALL KINDS!
-Hi's iti.i.lr if. Lhf t'Pst M!t: from
..' ! 5WI.
Saijsfjiolion Gunrantcctl.
iMIis. (:JK(). IlUliLTuR.
N-M tu.r l. Weston House.
Jell
Boat IB-LXilca.ixa.ar-
WILLIAM HOWE
1
H.iwitCialfh icluint'd from British Ttiliim- I
li!:i, is to In' found at his j
ni.Ji sTAM IN IJKAY'S RUII.DIN'C
When In is loin
KIltNT-fliAS WOJtK OXLV.
r.. 1. si r.vnxs.
r. S. ltl.OWX
BOOK STORE.
Wbcii oii will ilnd :iil tho stnml.ird works
if the d.iy,and a on,stantIy cbanRins
tk of no,lt!(s and lanej
n;lMts: c krep the
tK't::ssf.rtmenti'f
:iriei KOods
in the
"i!.
Pocket Books,
Picture Frames,
Steroscopes. IVlu
slca! Insiruments,
Sheet Music, Bijou
terie. & Celluloid
Goods, etc., etc.
1; r. sn kvkxs & co.
NEW BOAT SHOP.
1 1 htnii- over
AltrCDT A FKIM'If KVS
OXIA
rilt.ST-Cli.VSN MOItK lOXK.
; I'nr imiticnlars iniuiic at shop.
Take Notice.
John Rogers, Central Market,
Has reeh ed a larxe Invoice or
BAllKKLS AND HALF JJAliRELS
of the best finality.
And Know ready lo supplv Butchers Can
nerles and all others, cheap for cash.
X '
H f
w n 3 f
"s 1 ' " J
r" t p a
m i
I "CO
r o
O
MISCELLANEOUS.
S. ARNDT & FERCHEN,E howdex.
Astoria. - OKKOOX. ! ' XOTABT PUBLIC,
The Pioneer Machine Shop
RLACKS.MITH
at.
us
e .
8HOP4
U
fi
A I
Boiler Shop
Alt kinds or
ENGINE, CANNERY,
-ANP
STEAMBOAT WimiC
rroaipuy atienura 10.
A specialty made of repnlrin;
CANNERY DIES,
rOOT OK LAFAYKTTK STltKITT.
ASTORIA IRON WORKS.
IJK.vro.N- ST::KKr. Xi:i: I'aickki: HuVAK,
ASTORIA. -OHK30N.
" "
CEHERAL MACHINISTS AND
nnn rn 1111rnn
DUlLCn MAKcnO.
LANDli'lARINEEiMilNES
Boiler Work. Steamboat Work,
and Cannery Work a specialty.
C3A "!-"-
Of nil lPNcrIp(IonH made to Onlrr
Ht NHort Aotirc.
A. I). "Wash, rresldcnt.
.I.O.nu.iTLKi:,Sccrctaiy. j
Jon jf Fox', Kuperintemtent.
WIL1IAM EDGAR,
, Corner Mnin nml ChonnmuoFtroot.
J AKftMHA ORBION
!CiI.Jl w
CIGARS AND TOBACCO,
The Celetirated
JOSEPH RODCERS 9l SONS
GENUINE ENGLISH CUTLERY
ANP
THE GENUINE WOSTENHOLM
and other English Cutlory.
statiohery!
fairchild'S gold pens
Genuine Meershaum ipea, etc.
A Une slock of
1 WatHifK ami .lnvclry, .lluzzle and
ltrecch Loading Nhot CiuiiM and .
Hllles, Hpvolver-4, iltolK.
ruI Aunniiuitioii
MAItl.NK
AIJiO A VlNK
Assortment of line SI'FTACLK-S and KYK
filASSCS. I
WILLAMETTE UNIVERSITY.
:MO Sitidfuts aud 2U lroresis '
and Instructors. t
Imjiii- diltcrent courses in the Coliese and (
.six in the Academy Including a laisineas '
course and Teachers' course for uhich diplo
mas are awarded. Twenty-two new rooms
added to the Woman's College.
191-14 .OO is all it rosts a younc man for
tuition and board for a car.
S18S.Oi3aHthatitVostsalady lor tui
tion and boanl in the Woman's College a
vcar.
STIKRTTERM BEGINS SKITHMBEI1
I, IKsZ.
1ts!i
$100 REWARD ! !
TILL BE TAID UPON I NFOKMATION
T1? leading to the comktion or any party
UEFILLTNG
TiWTlt
MmWB &-.
Wit l "fiBaBJRWi
jz?:mny:7jc.
3w"B3b-
CPIM
Peruvian Bitter Bottles. iA Fu stock Now on Hand.
Tho names or -mcii iwji,ous foumt guilty,
will also be published in even-leading news-
papen wilmerdingco.. HENRY DOYLE A CO.,
General AgentorroJfanBmek j 5I1 Market Street. Mm Frl
LOEB & CO,, igents Astoria. t Sole Agents for the Pacific Cotst.
a
H I CD
SW2
sS -gg
I eg
ig
g I
a
C3 rt
I lo s
I - j:
DCSLNESS OABDS.
ALTTIOXF.Ki:, COMOTS8ION AND
SUKANCE AGEN1.
K. .1. C. NHAFTEK,
ruiHiriA. aad snuiEe.M.
(DKUTbCHEE .VI12T.)
UiseaeH oftkeTkreat apeelalty.
Office over Coan's Drug Store.
IKIiO F. PARKER.
1 SURVEYOR OF
Clatsop County,aHd City er Astoria
onioe :-ChenaniiLS street, Y.M.C. A. ball,
JJJoomXo.8.
J--'
BOZCTRTH,
( V. 8. Commissioner, .Votary l'nblle, nC
InsMraace Aseat.
, Ant tor the HamburK-Breinen FIro Ins. Co.
i of Hamburg, Germany, and ol the Trav
elers- lAio ana Aecicenc las. ux, or uan
fortl. Conn.
B-omcft In Pjtainn Bulldins. Soomsll,12.
XI D. WINTOIf , - -
' Attorney end Counselor at Low.
I
3r0fllc( In TythLin Bulldlpg. Rooms 11,12.
ASTORIA, . - - - - 'oBSGON. .
"k.TAY XlfTttlL M. . ' " . -v 1
W
s i-
-pnvaTnTA-w a-vrt aiTnn.vri :
OfFiCK-Over the "White House Store.
Rksidekck Over Elberson's Bakery, op-
poslto Barth & Myers' Saloon.
,A.
U FULTOX, 31. .
Phyalefaa aad Sarseaa.
OFFICE Ovrr A. V. Alleas grocery store.
Uooms. at the Parker House.
P P. HTC!KH.
PENTIBT,
j ASTORIA, -
- OKKGOM
Rooms in Allen's building up stain, corner
j of Ca,saiul Sqoniocqhe streeta.
,1 Q. A. EOWLBY.
: '
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
h""s Street
ASTOIOA. OREOOn
w-
T. B1.KXEY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
.May be found at tho Court House.
, BAO CQ
V
loom-,,, umdews, fellHUu, Tra
AnuH, Lmbor, Ete.
AH kinds or Oak Lumber, Class, Boat Ma
, terlnl, ete.
Turning and. Bracket Work
A SPECIALTY.
Steani MUl near Westou hotel. Cor. U0'
e vive ana Asiur streets,
, . -JZ ZmZTr"
HEADQUARTERS
Foster's Emporium.
j (ost Complete StOCk in AttOril
Fireworks! Flags!
Fruits Botk Forelgaaa Dmeatle
Wines and Liquors
Of Superior Brand.
FOSTER'S CORXEB, O B &S DOCK
G. A. STINSON & CO.,
BLACKSMITHING,
At f'apt. Ropers old stand, corner of Casn
and.Court Street3. .
Ship and Cannery work. Horseshoeing.
Wagons inaclo aud repaired. Good worK
guaranteed.
Barbour's
No. 40 I2-Ply
'SALMON TWINE!
CORK Ml! LEAD LINES,
i c ,- . T T, m vmr rrnu
'SEINE T W I N E 3