cm She mniin StetektL -v Vol. xvn. Astoria, Oregon, Wednesday Morning. August 23, 1882. No. 123. COURTING DYSPEPSIA. It was in the Ogden refresh- ment room, waiting for the train from San Francisco, that 1 saw a porformance that filled me with astonishment and dismay. It was a man catinir his dinner. And let me remark here, with all possi hie courtesy, that the American is the most reprehensible eater 1 have ver seen. In the first place, the knives are purposely made blunt the back and front of the blade !cinr often of the same ''sharp ness' to enable him to cat gravy with it. The result is that the fork (which oiiffht to be used sim ply to hold meat steady on the plate "while being cut with the knife) has to be used with great force to cut off fragments of food. The object of the two instruments is thus materially abused, for he holds the meat down with the knife and tears it into bits will his fork! Xow, reader, don't say no. For 1 have been studying Americans at their food (all over .the west at any rate), and what 1 saw is strictly correct. This abuse of knife and fork, then, necessi tates ati extraordinary amount of elbow room, for in forcing apart a tough slice of beef the elbows have to stick out as square as posible. and the consequence is, as the. proprietor of a hotel told me, only four Americans can eat in a space in which six jmgusnmcn can tune comfortably. The latter when feeding keep their elbows to their 6ilcsi the former square them out on a line AviiM inu.. i-..v....v.v,i. .ma at right angles with their sides. Having thus got the American tnto a position, watch him consume his food. He has ordered a dozen "portions5 of as many eatables. and the whole of his meal, alter the filthv fashion of the "eating- houses" at which travelers arc fed is put before him at once. To cut the dozen or so different things he has ordered, he has only one knife and fork and one teaspoon. Bending over the table he sticks his fork into a pickle gherkin, and while munching this casts one rapid hawk-like glance over the spread viands and then proceeds to cat. Meherculc! what a sight it is! lie dabs his knife into the gravy of the steak and picks up with his fork a piece of bacon. lule the one is going to his mouth the other is searching out something else. lie never ap parently chews his food, but dabs and pecks at the dishes one after the other -with a rapidity whicl merely as a jdggling trick might be performed in London to crowd ed houses every day, and an im paruanrv mat, considered as "dining" is as savage as any meal of Red Indians or of Basutos Dab-dab, peck, peck, grunt, growl and snort! The spoon strikes in every now and then, and a quick sucking-up noise announces the disappearance of a mouthful of huckleberries on the top of a bit of bacon, or a spoonful of custard pie on the heels of a radish. It is perfectly prodigious. It defies coherent description. But how on earth does he swallow it? Every now and then he shuts his eyes and strains his throat. This I sup pose is when he swallows, for I have seen children getting rid of cake with the same, sort of spasm. Yet the rapidity with which he shovels in his food is a wonder to me, seeing that he has not got ariy "pouch" like the monkey or the pelican. Does he keep his miscel laneous food in a "crop" like a pigeon, or a preliminary stomach like the cow, and "chew tlfe cud" altcrwards at his leisure? I con fess I am beaten by it. The mix ture of his food, if it pleases him, does not annoy me, for if a man likes to oat mouthfuls of buckle-! berries, jbacon. apple pie, pickled mackerel, peas, mutton, gherkins, oysters, radishes, tomatoes, custard and poached eggs (ihis is a bona- j fide meal, copied from my note book on the spot) in indiscriminate confusion, it has nothing" to do with me. It would make me sick, but that is neither here nor there. But what 1 want to know is why Ameiicans do not stop to chew their food, or why, as is invariably the case, they will de spatch a meal in five minutes for which they have half an hour specially set apart? lie falls upon his food as if he were demented with hunger, as if he were a wild thing of prey tearing victims that he hated into pieces, and when the hideous deed is done, iic rushes out from the scene of massacre with a handful of toothpicks and leans against the door-post as if time were without limit or end. The whole thing is a mystery to me. When I first came into tin country J used to waste many pre cious moments in gazing at "the fine confused feeding' of my neighbors at the table, and waiting to sec I hem choke. But I have given that up now. 1 plod syste matically and deliberately through my one dish, content to find my self always last at the table, with a tumult of empty platters scat- tercd all about me. 'Nothing can j choke an American. In the mean l time I wish that young man of. Ogden would exhibit his great j eating men m- koiiuoil. it utfn-u j 0 - Maskelyne and Cook inloilrs.- Horrijied English Traveler. Minute Workmanship. The. Salem, Mass., museum has in its possession a cherry-stone containing one dozen silverspoons. j The stone is of the ordinary size, the spoons being so small that their shape and finish can be dis tinguished only by the microscope. This is the result of immense labor for no decidedly useful pur- pose, and there are numerous j "is visitor, but continued to euri othcr objects m existence the value l ously scrutinize one corner of the of which may he. said tobequiteas::'d. Finally he turned to a gen indifierenl. Thus, Dr. Oliwr o-ives. t',J,uan present and with u most an account oi a cherry-stone on which was carved l2Lhends, so so distinctly thai the naked eye could distinguish tlm-e belonging to popes and Icings by their mitres and crowns. A Nuremberg clock maker inclosed in a cherry-stone, which was exhibited at the French Crystal Palace, a plan of Sebastopol, a railway station, and the "Messiah' of Klonstoek. Pliny, too, mentions the Jjfact that j Homer's "Iliad." with its l.i,000' verses, was written in so small a space as to be contained in a nut shell. The greatest curiosity of all, howevei, was a cop of the Bible, written by one Peter Bales, . a chancery clerk, in so small a space that it could be inclosed! within the shell of an English walnut. ft is stated that Col. Bob Iii"-t;r- soll lias lost his entire fortune in a mining speculation in thr well known mine "lvanlio,' located in Socorro county, Mexico. lie was the chief organizer of a stock company of 2,000,000 capital in twenty-five dollar shares. Shares in and about "Washington sold for $20, a great many department clerks, women, and others, invest ing. The stock being non-asses sable, the entire capital was soon exhausted in working the claim, which has completely pinched out. Shares are being offered for IS cents, and there are few buvers even at that figure. Ino-ersoll states to his friends that he intends soon to abandon the practice of law, at least lor a tune, and will again return to the lecture field. Chicago JVeics. Arizona Amusements. The industrious scoundrels who are rapidly earning an unenviable reputation for the town of Benson added another to to the long list of outrages and crimes Wednes day morning. An emigrant train steered into the station about day light, and was delayed nearly an hour, switching freight cars and catching on empties. The two last cars on the. train were second class emigrant cars and were left back a couple of hundred yards on the track. While the railroad employes were busily engaged at their business about ten of the rustlers sneaked back to the emi grant train, and, in western par lance, "took it in." Four of the scoundrels stood at each of the four doors, and, with pistols in hand, commanded silence. The rest of the robbers then ransacked the two cars and took everything of value that could be found, even going so far as to take ear rings and jewelry from women and 3'oung girls. One old woman, who was traveling to California with two daughters, had a purse containg 270 forcibly taken out of her clenched hand; an old man had a pair of fine boots pulled off his feet, and three young girls, who wore slcerinr in a corner of one of the cars, were robbed of all their bedding. It took about fifteen minutes to complete" the job, and the robbers absconded and haw not been heard from since. Tombstone Epitaph. .... .--- ' - . - -JKevalre By Oar." A distinguished foreigner who is stopping at one of our leading hotels was called upon yesterday by a prominent naval officer, and according to to the forms made an,l provided for by good society. the latter sent up his card by the bell boy. When the paste board was presented to the eminent alien he screwed his glass into his eye and gazed at it intent v. lie readily comprehended the name of mystified air said; "V'al ees zees'" pointing to the characters on the corner. "That?" said the gent'e man; "why that is -l'. S. X.' It stands for -United States Xnvy.' Have you never heaid of our navy?" The representative of an effete monarchy rubbed his chin thoughtfully and then exclaimed: "Carambaf Ncvaire, by (Jar." 1 Vashingion Rcjniblican. Cour d'AIene R. S. From Dr. J. P. Tiernau wo learn that the contract for grading be tween Iiathdrum, on the X. P. R. R., and Lake Cour d'AIene, has been let, and woik will commence immediately. The distance is only eleven miles, and the contract price is $2,800 a mile. J3y .January 1st, the doctor sa3Ts, the cars will be running between these two points. He also informs us that surveys of a route through the Big Bend country is now being made, and that this road will pass through one of the best farming countries on the Pacific coast. AVe learn from another source that af ter reaching Cour d'AIene, it is the intention of the builders to strike through the mountains to a point on the Utah Northern, thus having connections with the T'nion Pacific. The pass is represented as very feasible, and the grading to be only a few feet to the. mile. Dalles T-M. A Varied Performance. Many wonder how Parker's Ginger Tonic can perform such varied cures, thinking it essence of ginger, when in fact it is made from many valuable medicines which act beneficially on every diseased organ. SYMPTOMS OF A DISEASED LIVER. P.iln in the right .lii uml.-r i1m' 1 rib. ineieain; on procure; ointtinie? ilie p-iin i on Die left Me; the palio.it i rarely able to .he on the left side; some times the pain is felt under the. MiouMer anil i sometime taken for Rlienni.itlm In tin arm. The stomach NnnVeteil with lov of appetite ami iclcnes; lite lnit'l in general arc i-otie, oiwtiiiir altei imtinx wiih laxity; the head i- troubled with iviin.nw.tmp:iiiled wilhadullthfavy seiwttiou in the lurk part. There Nyener :illvaeonMdenil)l'iirsof memory. aeeom paiiiitl with a painful M'lisatiou of having left undonw .-omethin; which oai'Jit to have leeii done. A slight, dry eouj:h is sometimes attendant. The lKitieut eom plain of weariness and debility; lie N caMlv Marl led; hK feet are eold or burn ing, iiud heeomplain of a prickly ensa tiou of th .-kin: hi- spirits are low, ami, although lie isatiMled that excreta would be beiieiieial to him, ct lie can scnicely Mimmoit up fortitude enough to try it. If vou have any of the above symptoms, viuiVan certainly 1m' eured by the use of the aeniiii!.' MX. V. Mrt..VNE'S L.IVKU TILLS. When von buv .UoLaiif's Pill-, insist on hiviik 1K." V. MiLANrrS CKLK IIKATJ'D I.1VKK PILLS, made by b'lciu Injj ltrox.. lilt-bun;h. Pa. If vou (-.in not aet the Pennine lU. I. 3IC-LAX17.S LIVKK PILLS send us ::.; em- by mail, and we will send them to you. FLEMING UKOS., lMtMmrgli, Pa. A. M. JOHNSON, i;:ai.ki: in SHIP CHANDLERY, AX I Groceries, Provisions, Cheese, BUTTER, ECCS, ETC. O.VNXEI) fiOODS OF ALL K1N'1. Blocks, Hemp and Manilla Ropes. Salmon Net Twines, Drilling, Jib Hanks, Clew Irons, Thimbles, Mast ! nuup) And all ollirr things needed t lit nut xe-tsds r all kinds. NEXT 1)0011 TO PYTHIAN HAl.U Notic..r -r- '"". milE WHAP.F OXrii'KNOWX AS THE X X. 1. T. Co'h.. :uid later as Hustler's wharf, will, together u ith the wharf now in processor eonstnirtlon. he hcrearter Known : the Main Street Wharf. .!.:. HUSTI.KR.Ajient. if" CELEQRATED V ftlfe . STOMACH & Hotetters Stomach Hit lor oviln.ii. ilic- IorHin u ith greater certainty and promii'ti tutle than any known remedy, and i a moM genial invi;;nraut, appetizer and aid to .-fere tion. Thc.e arc not empty a-.crlion. as thnufamls of our count rvinoii -mil ir.n.n.i. n-li.. have experienced U cfi'ccU are aware, but are hacked up by irrcrasniblc proofs, 'lho Hitter n!ojji-o a healthful s-timnhi to the miliary orsun". For vale by al Dnt!s:M-i:ind Healer-; 0 xeuemlly. 31 other .Mother!! .Hot hern! ! 1 Are you disturbed at niht ami broken of your rot by a sick child sufTeriiis and crying with !he cxcnirialin" nain of cutting teeth ? I f o, o at m:ce and get a bottle of Mrs. Win.slowV, .Soothing Sirup, it will reliee the ixwir Iittlw .-,uf-ferer imnunliatelj depeml tuiou it: there is no nii.vtake alMiut it. There is not a mother on eaith who has ever lived it. who will not tll vou at once that it will regulate the iovel. and give rest to the mother, ami relief ami health to the ehilil.opir.tliu; like magic. It is perfeetly safe to in in all eases, ami pleasant to the tavte. and is the pre scription or one ot the oldest and best female phyaiciaiiv and mn.ves in the United States. Sold everywhere. ' cents a bottle. .Vntbiuc Short or I'nniistnkahte Heneflts Conferred uiion (eiw nf ili.m-n.,1. ,.r sutTerers eoiihi oriiriunfo ood tnniniMin .the reputation which Avki:sSai:j.m'.v- i.ii.i..vujim.-. ji . ;i eiJUipOIIIKI oi tne best vegetable alteratives, with the Iodides of Potassium and Iron, and is the most effectual or all remedies for scrofulous, mercurial. or blood disorders. I niformly snccesful ami certain in its remedial effects, it produces rapid and complete cures of Scrofula, Sores. HoiK Humors, Pimph. Eruptions, Skin Dis eases ami all disorders rising from im miriiv of the blood. Ii if c iiivlcrm-iCL.r effects it always relieve.-, and often cures Liver Complaints, Female Weaknesses ami irregularities, and is a potent re licwer of vitalitv. Fnr nnHNni.r n... bloml it has no equal. It iones itj the r-joic-iii, ieuire.- iiuu preserves the health, ami imparts vigor ami energy, ror fortv venrs it has boon In .vii.i.:.,. use. .and is to-day the movt aailable medicine lor ine suiicnng sick, any where. For. Sale iiy all JJealeus. aaiTV i iROSCOE'S FIRST CLASS (IVSTOr MU0011. Ii CH EXAM 1S STlIKlvrrAbTORlA. fllHE CXDKltSlONED IS PLEASED TO A aunoimee to tln-JpiiWie that he has op ened a KIltKT CLASS JElXtx& HCouse , And funii-iie- m Hr-t ela Myle OYSTEKS. HOT COITEE TEA, l-.TC. AT TUB Ladies and Gent's Oyster Saloon, I 'J I EN AMPS STKKET. I'lea-e give me a call. ::OSPOE DIXON, Proprietor Wilson & Fisher, SHIP CHANDLERS. UKALKKS IX Iron. Steel, Coal. Anchors.. Chains, TAR, PITCH, OAKUM, J wuoniiiT and err galvanized SPIKES, Sails. Copprr Sails and Burrs, Shelf Hardware, Faints and Oils Rubber and Hemp Packing of alt Kinds. PROVISIONS. FI.01TR ASI ItlUX FEED. Agents for Salem Flouring Mills. Corner Chcuaimi and Hamilton Streets ASTOK1 A, OREGON. ! B. B. FKANKLIN, UNDERTAKER,! , Conier Cass and Siueiuolie. streets, ASTOKIA. - OREOOX 1IK.VI Kit IN WAIjL PAPER : ami IV IN DOW SHADES AX I) UXDKHTAKKKS GOODS. i:. i-..sti:evs. c.s. i:i:owx BOOK STORE. In if uii :'. liinl all lho standard works f :fo' d.iy,:iud a ronvlanlly rliatiKitu; .Soi-k'of li'iv.liii-. and t.inrj sirlu-l.-s i we ki-ei the !:: )isortuieuter .iriet uoods in the Pocket Books. Picture Frames, Steroscopes, Mu sical Instruments, Sheet Music, Bijou terie. & Celluloid Goods, etc., etc. r. i. sti-: i-:xs & co. IMain anil Fancy SEWING OF ALL KINDS! Suis inaJi- ir- t'n best vtle from i ?.". to 5sV). ! Satisfaction Guaranteed. 'IMlt.S. GO. T-IlLIEl-l. Xe dor to V.'evton Houe. ; jell i Cleaning Repairing, I NKAT. CIIKAP AND (Jl'IChT, UY ;s:o mu: iiOVKTT. M.iiii street, opposite N. Ixieb's. !H 33. tKER, OK.M.RU IX Efiy, Oats, Straw. Lime, Brick, Cement and Sand Wood OelivertMl to Order, Orayiiuj, Teaming and Express Business. Horses.ana Carnages for Hire. dk.vi.ku tx WINES, LIQUORS AND CIGARS. FIKMT VfjASN Notice. VTElTilEU THE CA1TAIN NOK TUF. XI C onsitnices of the British bark James G. Bain will he responsible for any debts that may he eontmcteil by the crew. C. E. MOCKLEK. Master. Astoria, Oregon. August 7, 1882. did i-faNMHKPuHBUiflttiKH jlfllBJl PACIFIC MUTUAL LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY, Of California. A. McKINNIE, Manager. For Oregon, Washington and Idaho Terrrtorte errui: -io first street, roiiTrASD, or. nefcreneei: CI! AS. HODOK, of Hodpe. Davis & Co. .lAMKSSrrKKIi.r:i!hier First National Hank. .!. A. STUUWIJKIDOK, Whuioale Leather and lindiugs. I C. A. DULl'it. ot Dolph. Cronansh, Uolph i .Siinon. Col. .1. MeCKAKlIN. of J. McCraken & Co. , 1- C. HEN1HC1ISEN, or Heurlckson & Cirecnberj'. , Dr. . K. NOTTAGE, M. D.. Examiner and , l'hysici:in. anSCELLAKEOUS. S. ARNDT & FKRCHRN, ASTOKIA. - OKKUON. The Pioneer Machine Shop BLACKSMITH SHOP AMI Boiler Shop AH kinds of ENGINE, CANNERY, STEAMBOAT WORK Promptly attended to. A specialty made of repairing CANNERY DIES, . FOOT OF LAFAYETTE STREET. ASTORIA IRON WORKS. IlKNlMNSritKKT. NKMtPA.:KKlt HofSK. ASTOKIA. -lOItEOON. GENERAL MACHINISTS AND BOILER MAKERS. snsZi P5 3X0 8 8 i, a m MT ns ?s mt S8 r O W r- g S jmu?. . m . -StrSitr i --, IfflMlT pflBfP' ; L. VVMsTOTS. M. D. LANIlJHlRiNBENdlNBS1 -- . uiiiiir fMiiJiitinii liiitiiiiuu ofk ICE-Over a. V. Aliens gitcery store. Boiler Work, Steamboat Work. , Koon. at thparker 11001 MR1 P. HICK. and .Cannery Work a specialty, j . PENTI8T CASTINGrS. i ASTOKIA, -i0j '- oafiQOH Ofnll leHerIitioitM uiado to Order, Eoonis In Allen's building up slain, conier at Mhort Xotieo . ? s"t-n.oclhe !. A. D.WAM. President. ! Q. A. BOWLBY. .1. CL Hcstlku, KecreUiry. o I. "V. Cask, Treasurer. ATTORNEY AT IiA"W WILLIAM EDGAR, Corner Main and Che nam us Streets, AS rOMA OREGON DKALES V CIGARS AND TOBACCO. JOSEPH RODCER8 ft. SONS GENUINE ENGLISH CUTLERY AND THE GENUINE W0STENH0LM and other English Cutlery. . STATIOHERY! FAIRCHILD'S GOLD PENS Genuine Heershaum Pipes, etc, A fine stock of WatrhcH and Jewelry. 3f Hr.zle and Breeek Iieadiafc Shot Ghum ami Klfles, KevnlverM, PlHtols. and Ammunition MARIXK CiliANMKM ALSO A KINK Assortment of line SPFOTACLES suid EYE ULASSES. Notice. THE DELINQUENT TAX JtOIX I'OK tllfi VP.1I- IfWI tOCOlIinr ii-iHi n .rt 4BMH from the County Court for the collection of the same, is hi my hands. Delinquent tax payers will please settle at onee and save costs. A. AI. TWO.MHLY. nyS Sheriff. Rerereneeit: M. S. UURRELL. of Knapp, BoweU & Co. W. W. SFAL'LDING. Faelcep and CatUe. Dealer. ANDI1EW ItOBERTS. of FLshet & Robert. JOnN CILVN. ot John Cran & Co. . C. 3t. Wlbergr. Boots and Shoes. JOS. ItUKKHAKD. Burkhard fit Spauldlnft, J. K. ('.ILL. of J. K. GUI & COy Stationers. FltANR ZANOVICH, of Zan BroUiera. Each of the above men has $10,000 Insur ance In this Company. r ja: o"i;--,3Ti BUSINESS CABDS. TJ C. HOLDES, .NOTARY PUBLIC, AUCTIONEER, COMMISSION AND SURAKCK ACiKNl. iK. J. V. SHAFTRR, . ' FHY.HIClJl. aad SCTUJEO.M. (DKUTSCHXX ABIT.) J linraH-M rtheTfcrt liyectmlty; Ofllco over Conn's Drue Store. "' - Q.KLO F. riRKRI. SURVEYOR OF ' ClatHap Coanty.aaA CUjrf Aatri t Olllce :-Chenamas ?tret, Y. M. C. X. ball. i;oom.io.s. I J- UOXOKTH- j 1 . S. CoiinulsMloRcr, .Ury PiiUle, a I lasHraace Asral. Agent lor the Hnmburs-BremenFirel&t.Co of Hambunr. Germany, and of the Trav elers' Life and Accident Ins. Co., of Hart ford. Conn. a-Ofllce in Pythian Building. Booms XI. 12. j . WIXTOS, ' Attorney and Counselor at Latv. j tfir.0fllce j Oy,,, BuMJng. Rooms 11. I?. , ASTORIA, OREGON. j TA V TCTTLR. M. D. ; physician asd suhgeom. ( Okkicr Over the TVnRe House Store KKsiuKNOE-Overraberson's Batexy. op posltn IlarUi & Myers Saloon. w.T ATJ OR7IEY AT LAW. .May be found at the Court House. n n. bain & co., ur 1 ifoorn, W ludowB, Bliate, Ttm Moais, Iimmbcr, Kte. . All kinds of Oak l.umher .m nt u. terial, etc. Turning and Bracket Work A SPECIALTY. Steam Mill near Weston hotel, Cor. Ge evive and Astor streets. HEADQUARTERS Fos ers Emporium. Most Complete Stick in JUttrla Fireworks! Flags! . Fruits Beth Foreljra aaa Bmeatl Wines and Liquors Of Superior Brand. FOSTER'S CORNER, O B ?t DOCK Assessment Notice. NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN THAT AN assessment of fifty per cent, on the capi tal stock of the Odd Fellows Land and Build -injj Association or Astoria, Oregon, has this day been levied, payable within thirty day from date at the office of the Secretary, or othenviso be declared delinouent. Ky order of the Board ot IMreetOfs. A..T. MVOIKR etaty. ta- Astoria, August 2, 1882