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Astoria, Oregon. Saturday Morning; April 30, 1881.
No. 102.
Vol. XIY.
lie
Statu)
TELESCOPED.
PUNGENT GRAINS OP SENSE
BROUGHT HOME TO THE AS
TOltlAK FROM TOO MAXV
WA.YS TO BE MEXT10XED.
I'EN. SCJSSOKK AND TASTK.
A foreign German newspaper
lias discovered that small as may
appear the resources of typog
raphy, they can neveitheless lay
claim to the following graphic at
tempt at portrait painting, expres
sive of
'
Merriment. Indifference.
Taciturnity. AttmsUttient.
A scientific writer on the sub
ject of snow says: "Many of the
most remarkable figures are pro
duced by the softening away of
Primary points and edges during
incipient dissolution and by the
deposits of amphorous accretions
upon the primnr' axes and lines of
the crystals.1' "Wonder if he ever
felt the incipient accretions of a
globular wad of amphorous crys
tals strike him on the cerebellum
and then slowly dissolute down
the back of his neck, while a peal
Hon. T. H. Brents.
WxlU-walla Statesman, 1Mb.
Hon. T. H. Brents arrived from
"Washington last evening overland
via Reltou, much fatigued from
the journey, which at this time of
the year is anything but pleasant
and refreshing. Our reporter call
ed upon the honorable gentleman
and was received in the open and
cordial manner for which Mr.
Brents is noted. He said that he
felt sore from his trip having had
a very tedious and tiresome jour
ney. Mr. Brents says the people
living1 west of the Kockv mount
ains should be thankful for the
mildness of our winter in compari
son with that in the great west,
where" miles upon miles of the
best prairie farming land is one
"lare of ice, and where stock has
died by the hundreds of thousands.
The difference in the climate is
more noticeable to the traveler
who leaves the storms and ice
blockade, and drops over to the
western slope where the land is
covered with its carpet of venduro
and the trees are laden with blos
soms, in speaking of appropri
ations for the internal improve
ment of this territory, Mr. Brents
-f lA..?l. l.i tr k nw iinliAitfl ItTttltlfl
J o ljiv Hint nnr nlnnnt f his W3S
the comer of the Astoria market r -'. J ,
to impress congress luai me vu
Miss Kittrell, who has been act
ing as clerk of the Nevada legis
lature, had to take the usual oath
before being admitted to the office.
She got along all right until they
made her swear never to bear
arms against the United States.
Then she faltered.
An article is going the rounds
of the press entitled "Who are
the Boers?' We know who they
are, says Bill Jtye of the Boomer
ange. "They are men who write
long articles with violet ink, on
both sides of the paper, entitled
Distinctive Numerical Twoness of
Segregated Twiceness, and then
stand around in your way to sec
you print them."
The man who wrote Silver
Threads Among the Gold is making
broom handles at Shiocton, Wis
consin. We publish this so that
little boys who have an ambition
to write popular ballads mayjknow
how the mighty stream of wealth
comes pouring in to the author.
As a result of the long, cold
winter, very few town cows in
Laramie are fit for beef. Bill snys
they would make better trans
parent slides for a stereoplican.
If they were more sedentary in
their habits ate less anti-fat and
tMl n't stay out so late nights,
Rhey would gradually get quite
stout and robust, and would n't
look so much like a suspension
bridge as they do
From the New York Werld:
"One Mr. DeYoung having shot
Kallock senior, and Kallock junior
having murdered Mr. DeYoung,
another Mr. DeYounsr is thinkinjr
of kiU'lg Kallock. Of course the
authorities will act as favorably
in the case of the next murderer
as they did in the case of the last
one. The general government
might perhaps encourage this
California industry by a liberal
system of subsidies."
It is stated on authority of
the Modern Argo that Gen. Miller,
the new senator from California,
arose in one of Moody's meetings
and asked prayers for himself in
his endeavor to lead a christian
life in Washington. Mr. Moody
shook his head sadly, but said he
would try.
A fat steer killed in Hamburg,
Pennsylvania, the other day, con
tained, among other things, a
V freight car seal. We presume that
the car itself, with the engineer,
the brakeman, the conductor, and
the tramp oh the brake-beam had
been digested.
lumbia river belonged mostly or
entirely to Oregon, and that any
improvements or appropriations
made fcr that stream could not
justly be called an appropriation
for Washington territory, by which
argument he succeeded in getting
an appropriation of 15,000 for
the Snake river. We then ques
tioned our delegate a& to what had
been done in regard to the admit
tance of asumgton territory
into the sisterhood of states. Mr.
Brents said that he had put his
bill in and had talked the matter
up as much as possible, but beyond
that nothing was done, as congress
during the last term was engrossed
with national affaire of more
political moment. But at the same
time it is hoped that the bill will be
brought up next winter touching
this matter. Among the congress
men and senators Washington
territory is looked upon as a coun
try with a great future before it,
and if anything, it is looked upon
as a greater country than any state
on the Pacific, on account of the
certainty and extent of her cereal
resources, it only wants to be
opened up by the iron horse to
develop it to its fullest extent.
Two Er-Pres!dent8.
Sun Francisco Call.
General Diaz, ex-president of
Mexico, was cordially received in
Galveston a. few days since, by
Col. Otis, of the United States
army, and about the same time
Grant was received in the city of
Mexico. Gen. Diaz, as the Mexi
can ruler who prepared the way
for American enterprise in Mcxicoi
is naturally popular with Ameri
cans; but Gen. Grant does not
seem to have inspired the Mexican
people with that confidence his
purpose should entitle him to. The
Mexicansprobably knowGraut as a
great military leader, and possibly
associate his present purposes with
some future intention of conquest.
On this there is little to fear from
Gen. Grant as from any civilian, as
he is known to be a man who
takes up the swnrd reluctantly and
lays it down when its work is ac"
complished. It is a matter of re
gret that jealousies of this nature
should retard the.progressof enter
prises which will be mutually
advantageous to both nations.
There has never been a time when
public opinion in the United States
was less inclined to conquest than
at present. Friendly business and
social relations with our neighbors,
in the north and south, are all the
mass of the people desire.
3fr-A;ood advertiser particularly
puts his show-windows Into the news
paper. sir-.Most people "take a look at the
ailwrliniMmMits."' If they read thoc of
oUht people, why will they nut .cc
your"
iPCrls costs les3 to print advertise
ments than to send out salesmen. A
pood advertisement is seen and read by
more people in one day, than most sales
men call on in a year.
eiJ-An advertisement tells its own
sidr . It makes no mistakes, as a solici
tor mij,'ht do, and btates exactly what
the merchant wants to say, neither more
nor less. Advertisements are honest
and faithful horvants.
SAN FRANCISCO CLOTHING STORE.
Horse Education.
In something written we have an
indistinct recollection of having made
reference to a general disposition
amonir boys in their teens, as well as
"boys of maturer years, to enlighten
anu bless the worut witn ineir pro
found knowledge of the horse and his
history. Our books and newspapers
are full of this kind of literature, and
it varies in style from the production
of the child at school, commencing
with: The horse has four legs and a
tail; up to the eloquent tribute of the
scholar when he quotes from Jeb: That
his neck is clothed with thunder and
the glory of his nostrils is terrible.
He smelleth the battle afar off, the
thunder of the captains and the
shouting. Between these two ex
tremes of the child at his first school
composition, and the professional
literature, we liave every grade of pre
tention, and each professing to have
mastered the whole subject. As wo
approach the close of this nineteenth
century, we beinn to look for some
thing better in this department of
knowledge from those who assume to
instruct." And it is to be found in
Kendalls Treatise on the horse, sent
by mail to any person for .twenty-five
cents, postage paid. Apply to The
AsroitiAX office, or address D. C. Ire
land, Astoria, Oregon.
ar"Do hogs pay 1" asks an agricul
tural corrcsjHMident. We know of some
tnat don't. Thev subscribe for a paper,
read it for a few years for nothing, and
then .send it bacK to tlie puunsiter wun
the P. M.'s inscription, 'refused.'' Such
hogs as that pay nothing to anybody, if
they can help it.
J52f-l,Goods speak for themselves,"
jut it is only after they are bought that
thev can do so. An object in advertis
ing is to induce people to buy them and
tet them. If goods speak for them
selves, a good advertisement may also
speak for the goods.
x3rSome men can see things only
retro-pectivelv. Instead of looking for
ward to what they might do they only
took back to what they might have done.
Thev learn from experience, after it has
become a little late in the day. Such
men are the non-advertisers. 'Book
fanners' were once despised by the sclf
called "practical" farmers, but when the
latter saw the former's crops, they
changed their minds.
jr- "1 am doing a good enough
business without advertising." No doubt
you are doing well enough for your pres
ent needs, but do you forget the panics,
the exciting elections, the times of war
or iestilence, or any of those many
causes which create uuii terms vl uusi
ness ? These must be calculated for and
discounted if you would bridge them
over. One must make more than he
needs, to make a fortune, and advertis
ing is a powerful auxiliary in money
making. rXo man should deprive his wife
ami family or a good local paper.
They do not get out from home to learn
the news as does the husband and father,
and the paper serves to relieve the other-
ise lonely house of his absence. It is
tin worst possible enconoray to deprive
the family of a pleasure so easily and
cheaply procured. And yet there are
thoe who say that they are too poor to
take a paper: but they are not to poor to
spend twenty times the price of a paper
every day for whisky and tobacco.
;iiHiiiiiiizKHtn3a:ssiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinui(iiiiiiiEiiiiHiftHiiiii
I THE NEWS!
llJlIlltlIIIICtISIIIHI3ItXlUIS3IItSUZUIXUUlIZIHaC3lIIHHUII9HiHfnil
5 3
WELCOME TO ALL !
THE FISHING SEASON HAS OPENED AND SO HAS THE POPULAR
SAN FRANCISCO
BUSINESS CARDS.
I Q. A. BOWLBY.
ATTORNEYAT LAW.
Clienamus Street. - ASTOKIA, OREGOI
r W. FULTOX.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
ASTORIA - OREGON
Office over Page & Allen's store, Cass street
TCI C. HOLDEX.I
NOTARY PUBLIC,
AUCTIONEER, COMMISSION AND IN
SURANCE AGENT.
A VAN DUSEN.
NOTARYPUBLIC.
Chenamus Street, near Occident Hotel.
ASTORIA. OREGON.
Agent Wells, Fargo & Co.
...... s......
! CLOTHING STORE j
; Opened the largest and nest I
selected stock of i
C L O T H I N;
W
-AND-
Jim Bowie.
Peruvian UittcrH.
If j'ou want a good hot cup of
tea, coffee, or chocolate after your
nights fishing call at the Fair Wind
chop house where you will get it, and
don't you forget it.
DixBeld, Maine, October 20th,
1880. Dr. B. J. Kendall & Co.,
Gents: Please Ond inclosed 25 cents
for revised edition of j'our horse book.
I have tried your Kendall's Spavin
Cure and it has done all you claim for
it. By using one-half a bottle it en
tirely cured the lameness and removed
the bunch. Yours truly, Frank
Sianxet.
The American criminal vocabu
lary contains two phases, with a
historical meaning, which arc bet
ter known to old persons than to
the younger ones. These are the
"Bowie-knife," and "Lynching.'
The term "Lynching"' is easily ex
plained. It means hanjnnir with
out law. That terrible implement,
the Bowie-knife, has shed so much
human blood and taken so 1113113'
valuable lives, that an anecdote
from the Chicago Inter Ocean,
concerning its origin and inventor,
will be interesting. AYe cepy:
A tough citizen was James
Bowie, but he had a sense of
justice in his heart that gave him
a character among those who dep
recated his murderous ways. He
made the original Bowie-knife
while lying upon a sick-bed, laid
up with wounds received in a con
troversy, and fashioned the weapon
for nurnoses of revenue. It was
made of a large saw-mill file. A
story is told of him in Texas. He
entered a church in one of the new
towns and found a clergyman try
ing to preach to an audience, part
ot whom were anxious to listen
and the other part bent upon
sport. "When he announced his
text and attempted to preach, one
man brayed in imitation of an ass,
another hooted like an owl, etc.
He disliked to be driven from his
purpose, and attempted again to
preach, but was stopped by the
same species of interruption. He
stood silent and still, not knowing
whether to vacate the pulpit or
not. Finally a man whom he did
not know arose, and, with sten
torian voice, said: "Men, this man
has come here to preach to you.
You need preaching to, and he
shall preach to you! The next
man that disturbs him shall fight
me. My name is Jim Bowie."
The preacher said that after this
announcement he never had a
more attentive and respectful audi
ence, so much influence had Bowie
over that reckless and dangerous
element.
Cinchona Kubra
The Count Cinchon was the Spanish
Yiccroy in Peru in UEJO. The Counters,
his wile, was prostrated by an intermit
tent fever, from which she was freed by
theiiNeoftlm native remedy. the Peru
vian bark, or. as it was called in the
language of the country, "Quinquina."
(Irak-fill for her recovery, on her return
to Europe in 1KS2, she introduced the
remedy in Spain, where it was known
under "various huiiu'.n until Liumeus
called it Cinchona, in honor of the lady
who had brought them that which was
more precious than t he gold of thelncas.
To tins dav. after a lansc of two hun
dred and fifty years, .science has eiven
us nothing to take its place. It effectu
ally cures a morbid appetite for stimu
lants, by lestoring the natural tone of
the stomach. It attacks excessive love
of liquor as it does a fever, and destroys
both alike. The powerful tonic virtue
of the Cinchona is preserved in the
Peruvian Bitters, which are as effective
against malarial fever to-day as they
were in the days of the old Spanish
Viceroys. We guarantee the ingredi
ents ot these bitters o Iks absolutely
pure, and of the best known quality.
Atrial will satisfy you that this h the
best bitter in the world. "The proof of
the pudding is in the eating,' aud we
willingly abide this test. For sale by
all druggist, grocers and liquor dealers.
Order it.
HOnK TRUTH THAX POETRY.
Printing in black,
Printing in white.
Printing in colors.
Of sombre or bright.
Printing for merchants,
Ana land-agents, too ;
Printing for any
"Who've printing to do ;
Printing for bankers,
Clerks, auctioneers,
Printing for druggists,
For dealers in wares.
Printing for drapers
For grocers, for all,
Who will send in their jol)3
Or give us a call.
Printing of pamphlets,
Or bigger books, too ;
In fact thore are few things
But what we can do.
Printing of labels,
All colors we use, sirs,
Especially fit for
Our salmon producer.
Printing by hand,
Printing by steam,
Printing" from type,
Or from blocks by the ream
Printing of placards,
Printing of bills,
Printing of car-notes
For stores or for mills ;
Printing of forms
All sorts you can get
Legal, commercial,
Or houses to let.
Printing done quickly,
Bold, stylish or neat.
At the Astoriax Office,
On Cass and Fourth street.
ASTORIAN BUILDINO. CASS STREET
Gents Furnishing Goods,
BOOTS AND SHOES,
TRUNKS AND VALISES. HATS AND CAPS,
Tjl P. HICKS.
DENTIST,
ASTORIA, --- - OREGON.
Rooms !n Allen's building up stairs, cornf
of Cass and Sqemocqhc streets.
TYK. 3f . . JEXXIXGS,
PHYSICIAN AND SUKGEON.
Graduate University of Virginia. 1868
Physician to Bay View hospital, Baltimore
City, 1869-TU.
Office In Page & Allen's building, up
stairs. Astoria.
TAY TUTTJLE, M. .
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
Office Over the White House Store.
Residence Next door to Mrs. Munson's
boarding house, Chenamus street, Astoria
Oregon.
-AND THE BEST-
CARTER'S CAPE ANN
Mother ! Mothers ! I Mothern ! ! !
Are you disturbed at night and broken
of your rest by a sick child suffering
and crying with the excruciating pain
of cutting teeth .' If so, go at once and
get a bottle of Mrs. Winslow's Soothing
byrup, it will relieve the poor littiv suf
ferer immediately depend upon it;
there is no mistake about it. There is
not a mother on earth who has ever
used it, who will not frll vou at once,
that it will regulate the bowels, aud
give rest to the mother, and relief and
health to the child, opcnitinglike magic
It is perfectly safe to use in all cases,
and pleasant to the taste, and is the pre
scription of one ot the oldest and beat
female physicians and nurses in the
United States. Sold everywhere. 25
cents a bottle.
THE WEEKLY ASTOM
IS T1IK
BEST PAPER FOR OREGON
; 1
RUBBER BOOTS, ETC.,
WHICH WILL BE SOLD AT SAN FRAN CISCO WHOLESALE PRICES.
REMEMBER THIS IS NO HUMBUG.
HAYING MADE ARRANGEMENTS IN NEW YORK AND SAN FRAN
CISCO FOR THE PURCHASE OF ALL MY GOODS, MY
FACILITIES FOR BUYING ARE SUCH
AS TO ENABLE ME TO
Undersell all Others. I Defy Competition.
T C. OKCHAJRI),
t J
DENTIST,
Dental Koobih.
aUL'STF.R'S
Photograph. Building."
T A.3TCINTOSH.
MERCHANT TAILOR,
Occident Hotel Building.
ASTORIA - - - OREGON
Q H. BAIX & CO.,
DKAIJCIt IX
OoorM, Window. Blindg, Trau
hohih. Xaimbor. Etc
All kinds of Oak Lumber, Glass, Boat Ma
terial, etc.
Steam AiIU near "Ytnn hotel. Cor. Gfn
evlve and Astor streets.
Facts and Figures !
GREAT SURPRISE AT THE
1 G. FAIRFOWL & SON,
STEVEDORES AM) RIGGERS
Portland and Astoria, Oregon.
Kefor by permission to Ronerj.Meyera.fcCo,
Allen & Lewis, Corbitt&Macloay,
Portland. Orecon.
yai. mixnxiiART.
Occident Hotel Hair Dressing Saloon
ASTORIA - OKEGON.
Hot, Cold, Shower,
Mtenm and Salpbur
BATHS.
J3T"SpecIaI attention B'ven to ladles' and
children's hair cutting.
Private Entrance for Ladle3.
WELMAIT1 FRY,
PRACTICAL
BOOT AND SHOE
MAKER.
Chkxamus Stkket, opposite -idler's Book
store, - Astokia, Obkgon.
t3T Perfect fits guaranteed. All vrori
warranted. Give me a trial. All orders
promptly filled.
.Htfa
! San Francisco Store !
PRINTED IN OREGON.
Premature Iohm or Hair
Nowadays may be entirely prevented
by the uv of Burnett's Cocoaine. It
has been used in thousands of cases
where the hair was coming out in hand
fuls, and lias never failed to arrest its
deeay : it promotes a healthy and vigor
ous growth, and it is at the same time
unrivalled as a soft and glossy dressing
for the hair.
Rumetfs flavoring extracts are the
best, strongest and most healthful. Sold
everywhere.
CALL AND GET A COPY of this week'j
Lvsue to send to M)ine friend.
ISSUF.D KVEItY FKIDAr MORXINO.
OiTlCK IN THE ASTORIAX BUILDING.
CASS STREET.
l. 4- IUKT.AXI)
PUBLISHES.
TKIU1.4 OK SUUSClUtTIOX.
ive f il by Carrier per month -,
One Copy, four months ,,
On- Copy, twelve months
25Ct3
31 00
00
HERE ARE PRICES OF GOODS THAT WILL SURPBISE ALL.
CLOTHING DEPARTMENT.
MENS AND BOYS
CASIMERE SUITS FROM- S 8 00 TO 15 00
EXTRA BEST SUITS : -12 00 20 00
FINE BLACK SUITS IS 00 " 25 00
DIAGONAL SUITS " '. 15 00 " 22 00
CASDIERE PANTS - 2 50 4 00
EXTRA BEST PANTS " - 4 00 "5 50
BOYS SUITS. ALL SORTS, FROM 6 00 "12 00
FURNISHING GOODS.
OVERALLS FROM GO CTS. TO 81 00
JUMPERS " 60
ALL WOOL SOCKS 20
CHECKER SOCKS. SIX PAIR FOR
COTTON SOCKS, THRKE PAIR FOR
WHITE SHIRTS FROM .'. 00
COLORED " 75
CASIMERE " " S 1 50
FLANNEL - - 1 00
BLUE NAVY " 2 00
FLANNEL UNDERSHIRTS AND DRAWERS FROM 1 25
COTTON FLANNEL SHIRTS AND DRAWERS 60
MARINO SHIRTS AND DRAWERS 50
1 00
25
1 00
25
I 75
I 50
3 00
1 75
2 50
225
W. L. M'CARK,
Astoria.
S&k
J. A. BROWX
Portland.
1SROW3T & McCABE,
STEVEDORES AND RIGGERS.
Astoria office At E. C. Holden's Auction
store. Portland office 24 B street. 13-tf
Music Lessons.
T. F. CULLEN and C E. BARNES
TEACHERS OF
VIOLIN, PIANO, GUITAR, COR
NET AND BANJO,
Would like a few pupil on either of the
above Instruments.
Terui-v Eight lessons for five dollars.
J5y"0rders left at Stevens & Sons book
store will bo promptly attended to-
To-2ight. To-Nlght.
GRAND BALL.
AT MUSIC HALL,
THIS EVEXING.
fcgr-Advertiemeuts inserted by the year
it the rate of si 50 per square per month.
For Iks time than one year, S2 50 per square
for the first Insertion, and St 00 per square
lor eacliaubseauent Insertion will be charred.
GERMANIA BEER HALL
AND
BOTTLE BEER DEPOT.
Chcuvus Street. Astoria.
Have WLstar's balsam or wild cherry
always at hand. It cures coughs, cold,
bronchitis, whooping cough, croup, in
fluenza, consumption, and all throat and
lung complaints. 50 cents aud$1 a bot
tle." Horse owners can not afford to over
look the wonderful success of Kendall's
Spavin Cure. See advertisement in
another column.
The Best of Lagev S Cts. a Glass
Orders for the
Celebrated CoMMa Brewery
Left at this place will be promptly attend
ed to.
tSNo cheap San Francisco Beer sold at
mis piaee
Wil. BOCK, Proprietor,
OIL CLOTHING.
LONG OIL COATS FROM S3 50
OIL JUMPERS - 2 75
TO
4 50
3 00
BOOTS AND SHOES.
MENS CALF BOOTS FROM S3 CO TO
MENS KIP BOOTS -
ELASTIC GAITERS -
BUCKLE SHOES -
MENS SLIPPERS -
BOYS BOOTS ' - -
2 75
1 75
225
50
1 25
4 50
4 00
2 50
325
1 00
1 75
I HAVE THIS SPRING STRAINED EVERY" NERVE AND USED MY
ENTIRE ENERGY' AND BEST JUDGMENT IN PLACING IN OUR AS
TORIA HOUSE THE LARGEST AND MOST COMPLETE ASSORTMENT
OF THE ABOVE LINE OF GOODS.
CALL AND INSPECT FOR YOURSELF. YOU ARE WELCOME.
I WILL GLADLY" SHOW MY" GOODS, NO MATTER WHETHER YOU
BUY' OR NOT. NEW GOODS BY EVERY STEAMER.
S. DANZIGER.
San Francisco Store. Squemocqhe street, next door to fag Jfc Allen' stdrt, north of I
WalU-waUaBestauranr.AstQrntOregan.' - - - "
353. -9l. CTJUXTIN-.
dealer in
FAIUIT.Y GROCERIES,
UrATLS, MIIX FEED ANDt HAY
Cash paid for country produce. Small
profits on casn sales. Astoria. Oregon, cor
ner of Maiu aud Squemocqhn streets.
I. W. CASE,
IMPORTER AND WHOLESALE AND RE
TAIL DEALER IN
GEM. MERCHAMSE
Corner ChenamtLs and Cass streets.
ASTORIA --- OREGON.
Wm. Houseman of Portland
BEGS LEAVE TO NOTIFY HIS friendi
and customers that he lias opened
A FISHERMAN'S CLOTHING
AND FURNISHING GOODS STORE
Next to G. W. Hume's grocery store.
F. HOUSEMAN, Agent
THE DEW DROP INN !
Oh, fishermen, all hear the good newi !
A fine saloon Is started with best of
Liquors, Wines and Beer,
AND FINE FREE LUNCH UNGUARDED.
The Grandest Caviar aad. Ckeee,
IN SANDWICH THICK AND THIN
And will you spend a pleasant hour, drop in
at the DEW DROP INN on Concomly street.
J.T.B0RGHXR8,
m