SIUSLAW NEWS ❚ WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 2017
9 A
SIUSLAW OUTREACH SERVICES
SPEAKING OUT AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
submitted by Judy Schwartz, President, SOS Board of Directors
The month of October has been designated
as Domestic Violence Awareness Month. It’s
unfortunate that a month needs to be set aside to
remind us that the issue of family and intimate
partner violence is pervasive and is becoming
a major health crisis in our society. Not only
abusers and victims are affected, but children,
families, elders and friends of the victim, who may
also be threatened and abused.
There are complex reasons for domestic
violence and here in our rural community several
factors play a significant part: lack of affordable
housing, lack of jobs, homelessness, inability to
access mental health and supportive services and a major uptick in drug use,
particularly the use of methamphetamine and heroin.Stress itself is correlated
with major health issues which have an impact on healthcare and community
systems. Despair and stress can be triggers for drug abuse and can result in
violence as well as aberrant behavior. Often, victims are drugged by their abusers
to guarantee their compliance. Many homeless women, already vulnerable and
devalued, become victims of violence. There has been an upsurge in sexual
slavery and sexual trafficking associated with drug use and addiction. Abusers
are using more sophisticated forms of harassment and surveillance, utilizing
newer technologies to monitor phones and computers thus guaranteeing greater
control over their victims.
How can we as a community respond? A strong and public stance needs to be
made against domestic violence. Families are the most important social unit in
our communities and historically many felt that family problems should remain
hidden within the family, not to be publicly aired. Many of us are in a position to
speak out, to strengthen families, to have zero tolerance for any violent behavior
that we observe. Our silence sends a message that violence in the family or
against individuals is normal, and that it’s to be expected . Damaged and broken
people and families need our services and support. An important first step is
to acknowledge that domestic violence is an issue needing our attention. It not
only hurts those involved in its cycle but whole communities as well. During
Domestic Violence Awareness Month let’s begin the conversation and the work
needed so that ultimately healing is possible
A Call For Men To Lead The Way
We are facing a crisis in
today’s culture… the lack of
positive male role models
for our youth. I was a youth
development professional for
nearly 20 years and have been
in the social service sector for
the past 7 years. In that time I
have seen the number of positive
role models and leaders decline.
Our youth today often look to
the internet or social media for
their role models. The media
and entertainment industry that
often markets to our youth often
degrades women into some sort
of object and fills youth with a sense of entitlement. Our news
is riddled with acts of violence that glorifies those committing
the act. The most profitable video games give points for killing,
beating, stealing and raping. Parental involvement seems to be on
the decline as well. As I attend youth activities in the area I see less
and less parents attending. While working as a youth development
professional, as an advocate for victims of crime as well as a
volunteer within the school district, it seemed like more and more
each year, a parent would ask me to “straighten their kids out or
fix them.” I am greatly concerned because I believe this correlates
with the increase in domestic violence cases we see at SOS each
year. This trend is so much more prevalent in homes without a
positive male role model. Here are some statistics from the CDC
and Us Department of Health to think about;
70% of youth who grow up in a home without a positive
male adult role model will become an alcoholic.
73% of those enrolled in a substance abuse treatment
program grew up most of their childhood in a home
without a positive father figure.
53% of females who grow up in a home without a father
will become pregnant before the age of 18.
71% of high school dropouts came from fatherless homes
or did not have a positive male role model connected to
the family.
environments and they assume that this is the norm. They often
do not know of any other way to treat someone because that is
the example they have been shown. As men, we need to take a
leadership role and guide our youth in a positive way. Here are
some ways you can achieve this;
1.
Donate your time and talents to the local a school district
or youth serving agency. Pass on a skill or share in an
interest.
2.
Get to know the youth in your neighborhood.
3.
Set the example while you are out and about. Kids to
watch and observe. Demonstrate respect and manners.
Do those simple things like saying please, thank you,
holding the door for others and picking up trash when
you see it.
62% of male youth injured during an episode of domestic
violence was hurt while protecting their mother.
4.
Attend your own child’s activities. Show them you care
and are interested in them.
Each year 1.5 million teens have reported being raped or
physically abused by their date.
5.
Be vocal when you see domestic violence or someone
being abusive. Stand up for them! Think about how you
would want someone to be there for you.
6.
Be aware how you talk about others on social media and
in person. Are you being derogatory or degrading? Take
the high ground. Be respectful. Especially when it is
really hard and you feel you have been wronged.
7.
Attend youth events even when your kid is all grown up
and left the home. Show them their community cares.
90% of youth runaways report they did not have a father
in the home or a positive male role model within the
family.
85% of incarcerated youth come from fatherless homes.
63% of youth who attempted suicide did not have a
father or a positive male role model they could go to.
80% of males convicted of rape or domestic violence
reported coming from a fatherless home or reported no
positive male role model in their life as a youth.
90% of youth who committed deadly mass attacks in
schools in the past decade reported no father in the
home or pointed to anger with their father as a reason.
As we highlight the issue of domestic violence during the month
of October, I want to challenge the men of our community take this
issue very seriously and get involved with our community’s youth.
So many are growing up in abusive home and sometimes fatherless
So much of our society’s behavior problems can be cured with
acts of selflessness, kindness and respect. I am challenging the men
of our community to change society’s norms. Let’s get involved,
stand up the abused and set the example for other to follow!
Domestic Violence Hurts Everyone
Domestic violence does not just affect the abuser and the recipient of that abuse. It affects the
social, economic development of family unit. As an advocate for housing in Florence, in my short time
at SOS, I have seen a tremendous need for additional housing resources for child victims of intimate
partner violence (IPV). Often a victim does not report because they feel it is better to stay with the
abuser and not report just for the sake of having a roof over their head. Those who do flee with their
children sometimes face homelessness. A discussion needs to start about what happens when child
victims of IPV have no place to call home. The best place to start is with the friends and neighbors in
our community. Children are often seen as secondary victims to the adult in the situation. However
recent studies indicate that is far from the case. An article in the National Institute of Health estimates
that nearly 17 million children are living in homes where IPV occurs in the United States. Of those
children, seventy-six percent experience some form of maltreatment from the abuser. One way
this impacts the child is whether or not they have a place to call
home. “In just one day in 2015 across the U.S., over 31,500 adults
and children fleeing domestic violence (DV) found refuge in a DV
shelter or transitional housing program. Meanwhile, DV programs
were unable to meet over 12,197 requests for services because of
a lack of funding, staffing, or other resources. Sixty-three percent
(7,728) of unmet requests were for housing alone.” Emergency
shelter and transitional housing continue to be the most urgent
unmet needs for domestic violence survivors.
Tim Weese
SOS Housing Assistant, 9/18/2017
No town is immune, reflections on domestic violence
When I was asked if I would contribute an article
about domestic violence I was sure I could easily prepare
something. And as I thought about it, going over my
thirty-three years in law enforcement several ideas came
to mind. I could write about various stories involving
domestic violence that have stayed with me over the years,
and I could relate some of the very personal issues that
I think about almost every day, as a person, a father, a
husband, boss, and most importantly friend.
You learn early in your police career that some of the
most dangerous and most unpredictable calls involve
domestic violence. That’s because it is left only to the
imagination what people can do to each other, physically
and mentally, that would surprise most people…the real
tragedy is it WOULD NOT surprise people who have
been involved, sometimes in the most minor of ways, but
nonetheless they would only really be shocked by your
ignorance.
Police tactics will always tell you that it is very unsafe to try and deal with a violent situation by
yourself. Often it has been referred to as “tombstone courage” by police trainers and coaches. I have
had this drilled into me by the police departments I have worked for, the police academy, and many
of the police survival seminars I have attended. But when it comes right down to it, in the middle of
the night, when you are first officer at the residence of a domestic violence call, your cover officer is
miles away, and you can hear sounds of a very physical altercation, often one-sided, dynamically and
horrendously happening in front of you, often the tactics go out the window.
The main call that comes to mind is waiting outside of a residence, nothing special - ranch house
in the valley, in a normally quiet neighborhood. I could hear lots of yelling and screaming, both
from a man and a woman inside, as I am standing near the front door, waiting for my cover officer
who is only two minutes away. As I’m waiting and trying to look through the window, I start to
hear body impacts against the inside walls. More screaming and yelling inside as I am giving the
updates on my portable radio. The front door is a decorative three panel door, the kind where all
three panels are inset a bit. Suddenly a woman gets forcefully thrown through the door from the
inside and lands on the front porch. I remember seeing the splintered wood and broken door pieces
covering her and the outside porch area. Her husband, we later found out, comes storming out of
the hole in the door to continue his attack on his wife. He had not observed me there and I was able
to easily grab him and get him in handcuffs without any real problem…mostly because he was so
surprised. The story is chilling but the really sad part to me, as a relatively new officer, was that the
wife would only say that she fell down. She never told me she had been injured by her husband in
any way and did not want to press charges. The husband, very intoxicated, claimed he didn’t know
anything about what had happened. Thru the years I’ve seen this same scenario, to a lesser or greater
extent, replay hundreds of times. Often the event is fueled by alcohol use by at least one of the
people involved. Usually the male half of the fight was the aggressor but not always.
My next very memorable call involved, again, the call of a family dispute, this time at a large
apartment complex. I had a cover officer with me this time and a recruit officer in training. The
apartment was quiet when we arrived and ultimately we knocked on the front door. A very small
slender man answered the door, in only a bathing suit, and asked what he could do for us. I noticed
he was wet from head to toe; his feet were so wet he had left foot prints on the floor leading up to the
front door. I advised him that we had been called to a family dispute at this location. When I began
questioning him, I noticed he started slowly swaying back and forth. As he was trying to answer (he
was also very intoxicated) I saw blood dripping from under his chin to the middle of his chest in big
flowing drops. Two of us reached out to hold him up as he began to lose his balance. We assisted
him to sit down on the sidewalk in front of his apartment door at which time we could see that his
throat was slashed from ear to ear and he began to bleed heavily. Upon interviewing witnesses, we
learned that the victim had been swimming with a female in the pool at the apartment complex. The
man’s girlfriend discovered this, went to the pool, grabbed him out of the water, broke a nearby beer
bottle, and slashed his throat. According to the witness she then told the man to go back inside. In
the end he survived and she went to jail. It took five officers to get her arrested and in the car.
So there are two stories…even though I think of them only on occasion, stories just like these,
and often much worse happen everyday…statistically about every minute of every day in the United
States. No town is immune, no matter how quaint. Every one of these incidents should alarm us,
every one…but they just don’t. First responders, police, fire, and ambulance, will tell you they get
a regular diet of family disputes, resulting in domestic violence calls for service almost everyday.
Larger populated areas will have multiple calls per day. The number of people affected by domestic
violence is almost impossible to calculate; the spouse, partner, child, relative, neighbor etc. could be
affected by a full range of possibilities, from intimidation to homicide.
I don’t have any great answers or advice, but domestic violence cannot ever be kept a secret.
Refusing to acknowledge domestic violence is a huge part of the problem. The psychological and
physical issues are very complex, and people who are involved cannot deal with their problems alone.
To try and give advice using phrases like “you should just leave him” or “never let him/her treat you
that way”, doesn’t even scratch the surface.
The police often become the “protectors” who get called in middle of the night, in the middle of
alcohol fueled fights and arguments. When victims just want the chaos to stop, we are the only hope
that some people have to keep them safe. And once th at momentary stability is established, we need
support service organizations such as Florence SOS to assist that person in gaining a better life.
Tom Turner
Chief, Florence Police Department
Siuslaw Outreach Services • 541-997-2816 • 1576 West 12th Street, Florence