SIUSLAW NEWS ❚ SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 26, 2016
7 A
It’s official: I’m not ‘The Sexiest Man Alive.” Again.
but he had a much more
important quality that gave
me hope: He’s actually WAY
older than me!
By a good five years.
Which is almost a decade,
really.
So, given our conclusion
that George Clooney is practi-
cally a Centenarian, I was
feeling pretty good about my
chances, even after being
overlooked for Bradley
Cooper, Ryan Reynolds,
Johnny Depp, Hugh Jackman,
Matt Damon, Channing
Tatum, Chris Hemsworth,
Dave Beckham, blah, blah,
blah.
Still, I remained optimistic
that, at some point, I would
Ned
Hickson
Admittedly, I have given
up my dream of being called
“Sexiest Man Alive” by any-
one other than my incredibly
supportive, beautiful and
nearsighted wife.
Back when George
Clooney got the title a second
time in 2006, I was inspired
to continue my quest. Sure,
the fact that he is ruggedly
handsome, square-jawed and
extremely fit were factors to
consider — assuming you’re
into those kinds of things —
We are closing our doors on
December 24th and passing
the savings on to you!
outlive George Clooney and
possibly win by default.
But last year, when 39-
year-old Beckham was
anointed (Don’t bother look-
ing for photos of the anoint-
ing, ladies, I meant that figu-
ratively) I realized my dream
was probably over. I can’t
compete with that. Not with-
out surgery. Or, at the very
least, fish oil injections to
loosen my hips.
I also came to the realiza-
tion that my Look — that
ability to set your face into an
expression that causes sexual
intrigue in women and envy
in men — had faded into
something that was more
effective in reminding my
kids to scrape their plates
after dinner.
In fact, the only thing I still
have going for me is that, in
2012, a quarter of a billion
Chinese people believed that
North Korean dictator Kim
Jong-un was declared
“Sexiest Man Alive” after a
parody appeared in The
Onion newspaper.
It doesn’t matter that it
wasn’t true. It only matters
that 250 million people read
that parody and thought to
themselves:
What? HIM?!? Welllll...
okay.
But that means pinning my
hope on having millions of
people being duped into mis-
(almost the entire store)
DECEMBER 1 -10 RECEIVE 30% OFF
scription pain relievers.
During the same year,
10,575 people died from heroin
overdose. Those who used pre-
scription opioids are 40 percent
more likely to use heroin,
which is cheaper and more
widely available. The estimat-
ed annual societal cost associ-
ated with opioid misuse,
including health care, labor and
criminal justice costs is $92 bil-
lion.
Now is the time to acknowl-
edge and utilize the many safe
and effective therapies for
treating pain.
Integrative approaches are
emerging as the most effective
health care model. Integrative
health care allows a variety of
state licensed health care pro-
fessionals to collaborate as a
team, each within their scope
of practice.
This model is patient-cen-
tered in a way that allows for
more therapeutic options or
choices. It creates better out-
comes for patients, eases the
burden on conventional health-
care provider systems, and is
fiscally responsible.
The Joint Commission (TJC)
promotes this model of health
care. As of January 2015, in
response to the opioid crisis,
TJC revised guidelines for
treating pain to include
acupuncture,
chiropractic,
physical therapy, relaxation,
and cognitive behavioral thera-
py.
TJC is the largest and oldest
standards-setting and accredit-
ing body in health care; an
independent,
not-for-profit
organization.
According to the World
Health Organization, acupunc-
ture is a proven safe and effec-
tive way to treat many condi-
tions, including pain and post-
B Y
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(almost the entire store)
DECEMBER 13-17 40% OFF
(almost the entire store)
DECEMBER 20-24 50% OFF
(almost the entire store)
Shop early for the best selections!
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On-Site Parking
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Siuslaw News
about being named “Sexiest
Man Alive” by People
Magazine. I realize I am
openly risking my anointment
with this, but I think we can
all agree it’s a small one.
(Risk.)
Besides, being the “sexiest
man alive” in the eyes of my
wife is the only thing that
matters.
Which reminds me, I really
need to call and have her eye
exam postponed again...
Ned is a syndicated columnist
with News Media Corporation.
His latest book, “Pearls of
Writing Wisdom: From 16 years
as a shucking columnist” is
available online at
Port Hole Books.
Acupuncture can be antidote to rising opioid crisis
GUEST VIEWPOINT
NOVEMBER 25 - NOVEMBER 30 RECEIVE 20%
taking me for being sexy
which, let’s be honest, sounds
like a lot of work.
In fact, reaching the deci-
sion to no longer throw my
wet towel into the ring for
this competition has proven to
be very freeing. I no longer
carry the burden of constant
public scrutiny about what I
wear (that still fits), how
often my car is in the gym
parking lot (while I’m eating
lunch nearby) and whether
my beard makes me look
younger or older (than
George Clooney).
I’d like to point out that I
wrote this before this year’s
announcement just to show
how much I no longer care
The opioid epidemic is proof
positive that the medical
approach to treat pain needs to
include non-pharmaceutical
therapies.
We need to change the pre-
sumption that opioids are
required to manage pain. An
integration of therapeutic
modalities, including patient
self-care, offers hope to people
experiencing pain.
During the average day in
the U.S., more than 650,000
opioid prescriptions are dis-
pensed for pain relief, includ-
ing post-surgical pain.
Even with prescribed opi-
oids, 70 percent of patients still
complain of moderate to severe
pain post-operatively.
According to the Centers for
Disease Control, 78 people die
from opioid overdose every
day. In 2014, 18,900 people
died from overdose using pre-
Photo of the Week:
By Connie Spinner
traumatic stress.
Acupuncturists can treat
many conditions at once and
usually people feel much better
immediately.
Acupuncture treatments can
also be administered in group
sessions,
allowing
for
increased accessibility to care
and affordability.
In 2016, research published
in the American Journal of
Emergency Medicine com-
pared acupuncture and intra-
venous morphine in the man-
agement of acute pain of 300
emergency
department
patients.
Acupuncture was associated
with more effective and faster
pain relief, and the 150 patients
who received acupuncture
experienced vastly fewer
adverse effects than the 150
patients receiving intravenous
morphine.
The tide is turning. The gen-
eral medical culture resistance
to non-conventional treatments
is changing.
Many medical practitioners
are gaining familiarity with a
wider scope of proven effective
therapeutic options, so they can
better serve patients with rec-
ommendations and referrals.
Some of the most respected
medical centers in the U.S.,
including Mount Sinai Beth
Israel, are leading the way for
hospital credentialing of “non-
pharma” therapy providers.
In 2015, 28 acupuncturists
treated 10,000 inpatients at
Mount Sinai Beth Israel.
Closer to home, in Florence,
there is increasing communica-
tion of how to utilize all our
local health care resources to
meet growing need.
Community health education
continues to be a local forum
for exploring the integrative
health care model. At these
community events, attendees
express gratitude and are excit-
ed to be empowered with infor-
mation, skills and responsibili-
ty for their health care.
At Wellspring Clinic, we
offer Points of Grace commu-
nity group acupuncture ses-
sions, where the cost is by
donation.
This program offers ear
acupuncture treatment that
decreases pain and muscle ten-
sion, eases depression and
enhances overall health.
This program invites you to
experience the benefits of
acupuncture.
Points of Grace community
acupuncture is held on the first
and third Wednesday of the
month, from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m.,
and is located in Wellspring
Clinic, 1845 Highway 126,
Suite H.
We each have the responsi-
bility to do all we can to tend
our health. The best medical
care guides and supports our
efforts.
In the case of opioids,
PurduePharmaceutical
Company heavily marketed
false information to conven-
tional medical practitioners
who then recommended what
they thought was a safe, non-
addictive medicine.
With the intrenchment of
pharmaceuticals in convention-
al medicine and the continuing
use of opioids today, we can
influence the health care we
want by making informed
choices.
When we expand the conver-
sation and look to healthcare
sustainability, what is best for
individuals, community and
planet, we must include a more
nature based approach to health
and healing.
...need a friend?
Meet
Tinkerbell
Hi I’m Tinkerbell, and I
am very shy around people.
I love other cats though
and want to make friends
because I love to play. I
like all kinds of toys and I
especially like when you
play with that laser pointer!
If you would like to meet Tinkerbell or any of her
friends, please visit us at:
OREGON COAST HUMANE SOCIETY
2840 Rhododendron Drive • Florence • 541-997-4277
www.oregoncoasthumane.org
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