6 A
SIUSLAW NEWS ❚ WEDNESDAY, JULY 6, 2016
Five ways to reduce stress with random weirdness
of self-help books for finding
Ned
inner peace and tranquility,
Hickson they all have the same prob-
Let’s face it: we’re all a lit-
tle stressed. Especially you
sir, in the back, the one giv-
ing himself a mohawk with
the Epilady shaver.
The consequences of living
in an increasingly fast-paced
society are beginning to
show. And not just when
we’re in the drive-thru behind
someone ordering lattes for
what appears to be everyone
in Kanye West’s posse; it’s in
our general lack of patience
with everything.
Our devices.
Traffic.
The Bachelorette.
And while there are plenty
lem: Who has the time? If I
could start my morning with
meditation or yoga, I’d use
that time for something more
beneficial.
Like sleeping.
As a wise woman once
said: “Ain’t nobody got time
for that!”
So, whoever’s going to
come up with an effective
plan for finding patience and
tranquility for our society,
they need to hurry up! In the
meantime, here are five weird
things you can incorporate
into your daily routine that
should help. Or if nothing
else, get you to put down that
Epilady shaver:
1) Make a list of 20 things
you never plan to do: This
Y ACHATS M USIC F EST
RETURNS J ULY 8 TO 10
YACHATS — Classical
music singers, pianists and
instrumentalists will be fea-
tured in the 36th annual
Yachats Music Festival in four
concerts on Friday, July 8, at 8
p.m.; Saturday, July 9, at 8
p.m.; and Sunday, July 10, at 2
and 8 p.m.
All concerts take place at
the Yachats Community
Presbyterian Church at 360 W.
Seventh St. in Yachats.
Individual general admis-
sion tickets are $20 and can be
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event/2519544.
Member ($85) and patron
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able by calling 541-547-3144.
The Yachats Music Festival
began in 1981 under the direc-
tion of Dr. W. Hazaiah
Williams, and is a program of
California-based Four Seasons
Arts, Inc.
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will give you a true sense of
accomplishment because,
once you are finished making
your list, you can immediate-
ly cross everything off! For
example, my list starts with: I
will never be an overachiever.
2) For the entire day, refer
to yourself in the third per-
son: In addition to the obvi-
ous bonus of making co-
workers uncomfortable, it
will allow you to see how
many of your conversations
revolve around yourself. If
your name doesn’t come up
much, you’re either not as
self-centered as you thought,
or quite possibly extremely
boring. Good to know in
either case.
3) If you have a dog, call it
by a completely random
name: It will remind you of
how what you say isn’t nearly
Comedian stands up at
Three Rivers Casino Resort
Three
Rivers
Casino
Resort’s Comedy Thursdays
brings stand-up comedian
Dan Gabriel to Blue Bills
Sports Bar and Tap Room
(inside the casino at 5647
Highway 101) from 7 to 8
p.m. tomorrow, July 7.
Now considered a veteran
jokesmith,
Gabriel
has
498 Hghway 101, St. B
appeared on CBS’s “Late
Late Show with Craig
Ferguson,”
Showtime,
Comedy Central’s “Premium
Blend,” CBS’s “Star Search”
and NBC’s “Late Friday.” He
won an award as a writer for
“Thugs on Film.”
Gabriel’s opener will be
funnyman Dan Farley.
married? Propose to them
again — for the same rea-
sons.
What if you’re already
married to one of the
Kardashians? You should’ve
put that on your list of 20
things you’d never do.
And lastly,
5) Call your doctor just to
tell them you’re feeling
GREAT! Though this may
prompt your doctor to call
you in for additional testing,
more importantly it will give
you a sense of empowerment
knowing you were able to
make your own diagnosis
even without a fancy schman-
cy degree.
Keep in mind that if you
attempt all five of these in
one day, there’s a good
chance you may be admitted
for additional testing even
without your consent.
Ned is a syndicated columnist
with News Media Corporation.
His book, “Humor at the Speed
of Life,” is available to buy.
Write
to
him
at
nedhickson@icloud.com.
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as important as how you say
it. Because regardless of what
name you call your dog —
“Spot,” “Fluffy,” “Justin
Bieber,” it will come running
with unabashed joy as long as
you say it with love. And
maybe a biscuit. But mostly
love. (Disclaimer: If your dog
bites you for calling him
Justin Bieber you had it com-
ing.)
4) Propose marriage to a
complete stranger: It’s a
given that the person you ask
will likely decline your offer
— unless it’s one of the
Kardashians. But assuming it
isn’t, there is virtually no risk
of any actual matrimony tak-
ing place. So why do this?
It will make someone’s day
no matter how much they
may pretend it doesn’t.
What if you’re already
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Florence Branch | 1875 Hwy 101 | Florence, OR | (541) 997-6000 | www.RealEstateFlorence.com
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