SIUSLAW NEWS ❚ WEDNESDAY, JUNE 29, 2016
7 A
Not getting to the gym adds 10 pounds of guilt to everything
Ned
Hickson
Forgive me for I have
sinned; it’s been nearly two
months since my last workout.
That was my thought as I
entered the gym this week,
ready to pay my penance in
the company of those who’d
kept the faith in my absence.
The truth is, I had no one
but myself to blame for not
getting to the gym.
And this time there would
be no frittering away my time
walking around with a towel
over my shoulder pretending
to look for my water bottle.
Nor would I splash water
on my face, then stand close
enough to someone in better
shape so we look like work-
out partners.
Removing my jacket, I
hung it on the rack and
stretched a bit before climb-
ing onto the butterfly machine
— a torture device used in
medieval times that, coinci-
dentally, can also develop
your pectorals.
I set the weight at what I’d
been using eight weeks ago.
Seriously, how much muscle
could’ve been lost in a mere
couple of months?
Enough that I needed to
lighten the load by 10
pounds, it seemed. So I made
the adjustment along with an
unsettling discovery; eyes
darting, I quickly unhitched
another 5 pounds, covering
the move with a stretch and a
yawn.
Twenty reps should about
do it, I thought, bringing my
arms together and sending my
chest muscles into quivering
shock.
The fifth rep caused me to
re-evaluate my lofty goal and
settle on 15 reps.
Then on a nice, round
number: Ten. No sense in
overdoing it my first day
back.
Just then, a fitness instruc-
tor entered with a small
entourage of the newly bap-
tized.
“This is for strengthening
and shaping your thighs,” he
said, pointing to the first
machine in a row that led
toward me. As he approached,
I could almost hear him say
“...and over here is where
out-of-shape people sit and
rest while pretending to work
out.”
While he explained the chin-
up machine next to me, I
slipped the weight up another
20 pounds and heaved my arms
together, teeth clenched tightly
and the glare of my reddened
face reflecting amber off the
cream-colored walls.
My hope was that they’d
move on quickly, allowing
me to keep my dignity with
the illusion of my obvious
devotion to fitness.
Instead, the group hovered
there as the instructor
explained what I was doing,
the intricacies of pectoral
development, its importance
in relation to posture, the dif-
ference between shaping mus-
cle and toning it, why you
shouldn’t bang the weights,
and how often they change
out the cables and grease the
pulleys.
Around rep 14, they began
to look uncomfortable, as if
they feared being in the direct
path of my exploding head.
The instructor ushered
them to the next machine,
glancing over his shoulder at
me, a look of concern on his
face as he began explaining
the benefit of sit-ups.
I brought the weights down
with a light “clang” and col-
lapsed.
Imploded, really.
And so it went with every
piece of workout equipment
and free weight in my circuit,
as well as the button on the
water fountain, which appar-
ently someone had tightened
while I was away.
Exhausted and humiliated
after my workout, I pulled my
jacket from the rack sleeves-
first and thought to myself,
“So THIS was my penance...”
Of course, my real penance
didn’t come until the next
morning, when I reached for
the alarm and woke everyone
with my hollering.
Ned is a syndicated columnist
with News Media Corporation.
His book, “Humor at the Speed of
Life,” is available online at Port
Hole Publications, Amazon Books
and Barnes & Noble. Write to him
at nedhickson@icloud.com.
Creager featured artist at Old Town Coffee
Local artist Timothy A.
Creager has been chosen
to exhibit his recent series
of pen and ink works
depicting
the
eight
onshore lighthouses of the
Oregon Coast at Old Town
Coffee in Florence for the
month of June.
Creager has been
working in the stipple
method, which is a labor
intensive process of sim-
ulating a range of grays
with small dots of black
ink.
The appearance of
lighter or darker grays is
created by careful spac-
ing of the black dots.
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Film
from 1A
Tulalip Reservation in
Washington,” Chase said. “I
put my hand on it and remem-
bered that childhood experi-
ence. ‘The Watchman’s
Canoe’ is loosely based on my
life.”
According to Chase, the
movie is about a young girl
who moves to a reservation
with her mother and brother.
They look very native in their
skin complexion, eye color
and hair color and she does
not. She looks more like her
father who is northern
European. She has golden
blond hair and blue eyes.
When she gets to the reserva-
tion, a gang of boys bullies
her.
“The story is about how she
connects and deals with the
bullying,” Chase explains.
“She has a strong connection
to the environment, trees and
plants. She feels at home with
nature. She befriends several
elders in the tribe and they
help her on her path of dis-
covering what her journey is.”
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By traveling to the light-
houses to sketch and photo-
graph, Creager is able to collect
visual resources necessary to
create his images in his
Florence studio, where he has
lived and worked for several
years.
“I am pleased to have been
chosen by Old Town Coffee, a
local business that supports the
arts and local artists, to show
my work,” said Creager, whose
show of lighthouses, as well as
the work of other local artists,
can be seen daily from 8 a.m. to
6 p.m. at Old Town Coffee in
Florence.
Art cards and prints will be
available for purchase.
Roger Willie, who played
Private Charlie Whitehorse in
“Windtalkers” with Nicolas
Cage and Christian Slater, and
had roles in “Adaptation,”
“Lost Stallions” and “The
Journey Home,” will play a
starring role in the film. Willie
will stay in the Florence area
during the filming.
The film crew is finishing
up filming around Sunset Bay,
just outside of Coos Bay, this
week and will begin shooting
at the Ada Fishing Resort on
July 5. Filming will finish
with a final day at the North
Jetty beach area on July 13.
“The Florence area is just
perfect for what we needed.
This is going to all tie togeth-
er to be a really beautiful film,
and it is all filmed on the
Oregon coast,” Chase said.
She hopes to release the
film to several film festivals
beginning in January 2017.
“Several film festivals have
already contacted us. I guess
we are on their radar.”
For more information on
“The Watchman’s Canoe,”
visit the website www.the
watchmanscanoe.com.
City
from 1A
“By creating a clear
telecommunications code,
the city can ensure that
providers understand require-
ments and that telecommuni-
cations facilities are placed
with utmost care,” the report
said.
The council voted unani-
mously to approve Ordinance
No. 8, Series 2016, to amend
the code.
Councilors also voted to
approve annexation of the
three properties north on
Highway 101 and zoned
them as “service industrial,”
with some single-family
homes on the properties as
pre-existing nonconforming
buildings.
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