SIUSLAW NEWS ❚ WEDNESDAY, MARCH 23, 2016
9 A
Parents, it’s time we rally for having spring break too
work at lunch to find your
Ned
teen still in pajamas eating
Hickson Pop-Tarts straight out of the
Some of you may already
be participating in the annual
celebration of spring break.
And by “participating” I
mean coming home from
box while playing “Call of
Duty” or streaming
“Supernatural” reruns on
Netflix.
Being a parent, you will
smile and playfully tousle
their hair. You’ll ask them if
they’re enjoying their much-
needed vacation from another
hard month of schooling.
They will grunt in response,
causing you to chuckle as you
walk to the kitchen, open the
refrigerator, and find nothing
left but a chilled cantaloup
rind.
“You must’ve worked up
an appetite,” you’ll say,
though what you're really
thinking is:
Between early-release
days, in-service days and hol-
idays, my kids spent a total of
nine days in actual SCHOOL
last month! How is this even
FAIR! I hate you! I hate
everyone!
Oops, sorry. That last part
was my teenagers.
My point is, the time has
come to expand spring break
to include EVERYONE so we
can all enjoy a week of unfet-
tered fun. And naturally,
when I say “everyone,” I real-
ize there are certain positions
so important to the country’s
infrastructure they can’t shut
down without causing our
great nation to crumble. So
I’m sorry: cooks, servers and
bartenders, you’ll have to
draw straws for President’s
Day instead.
For the rest of us, however,
a week of relaxation during
the nicest time of year is
going to be fantastic! No
longer will Cancun, Panama
City and South Padre Island
be the exclusive destinations
for drunken college students
and creepy professors offer-
ing extra credit assignments.
No way! From now on,
they'll have to share those
warm beaches with parents
inflating 8-foot plastic sea
mammals for their young
children or, in some cases,
their horrified teenagers.
“We’re TOO OLD to ride a
plastic Shamu!” they’ll
protest.
But Dad will continue
KRAB KETTLE
375 9th St. • Florence, OR 97439
Ph: (541) 997-6111 • Fax: (541) 997-5747
Cell: (541) 305-5282 • rperkins@prestigecare.com
www.spruce-point.com
Rik Perkins
Community Relations
Director
Call Today to
Schedule your
appointment
John C. Bachmann, DVM
Lindsey A. Franz, DVM Open Monday through Friday
8:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.
8:00
Dr. John Bachmann
and his certified Veterinary
Technician Elizabeth
541-997-9300
1739 West 22nd Street, Florence
Burns’s Riverside Chapel
Florence Funeral Home
Your Community Friend-
Compassionate Care
for you and your loved ones.
2765 Kingwood St.
Florence, OR
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541-997-3416
burnsriversidechapel.com
Stop in and see us at
1751 12th Street, Florence
(Next to Papa Murphy’s)
When you want a doctor...
• who listens to you
• treats you as a whole person
• provides a safe, effective treatment plan
Call Dr. Mark Immel,
Naturopathic Physician
541-902-8860
www.TheWellspringClinic.com
Oregon Pacific Bank will
be holding its ninth annual
Shred Day on Saturday, April
16, from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., or
until the truck is full.
Trucks will be set up to
accept confidential paper
materials to be shredded
onsite in the Florence Branch
parking lot, 1355 Highway
101.
The event is free and open
to everyone in the Florence
community. Businesses may
bring confidential materials
for shredding during the last
hour of the event.
Remember that once the
shred truck is full, Oregon
Pacific Bank will be unable to
accept any more confidential
documents.
The public is encouraged to
take advantage of Shred Day
as a way to protect themselves
from identity theft by correct-
ly disposing of paper waste.
After all paper documents
have been shredded they are
taken to be recycled, allowing
for a safe and responsible way
to dispose of confidential
paper materials.
The Shred Day event will
be staffed by Oregon Pacific
Bank employee volunteers,
friends, and family members.
Many of these volunteers are
also part of Oregon Pacific
Bank’s Relay For Life team,
“Banking on Life,” and will
be helping out with a car wash
held onsite during the Shred
Day event to raise money for
Relay For Life and support
the
American
Cancer
Society’s efforts in cancer
research, advocacy and sup-
port services.
For more information about
the upcoming Shred Day
event, call Oregon Pacific
Bank at 541-997-7121 or visit
www.opbc.com.
FRAA to host artists booth at
Indoor Yard Sale April 2
The Florence Regional Arts
Alliance (FRAA) will have a
booth at the upcoming Indoor
Yard Sale, set for April 2, at
the Florence Events Center.
FRAA will have art sup-
plies as well as home decor
items for sale. Members are
encouraged to donate items
and bring them in on Friday,
April 1, between 9 a.m. and
noon.
The yard sale will be on
Saturday from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.
Open Monday - Saturday, 9am-5pm
SAME GREAT SERVICE,
We h
SAME GREAT STAFF
ave
A
541-997-2726
1751 12th Street, Florence
uss
Pupp ie
ies!
T he
your source for natural medicine
Ned is a syndicated columnist
with News Media Corporation.
His book, “Humor at the Speed of
Life,” is available online at Port
Hole Publications, Amazon Books
and Barnes & Noble. Write to him
at nedhickson@icloud.com
24 Hours
WE’VE MOVED!
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beach! Chances are they used
your credit card to secure
their travel plans anyway;
how hard can it be to get a
room at the same hotel?
Imagine the laughs you’ll
share when they realize the
person yelling at everyone to
stop staring at his daughter in
the bikini contest is DAD! Or
the reason that group of girls
keeps giggling every time you
get near them is because
Mom is showing pictures of
you pointing to your very first
chest hair!
Yes, I think the need to
implement a National Spring
Break Week is something we
can all agree is long overdue.
For those who don’t, I have
two words for you:
Summer school.
Annual ‘Shred Day,’ car
wash at Oregon Pacific Bank
280 Hwy. 101 M 541-997-8996
Mon.-Sun., 10-6
Fresh
CRAB
undeterred, blowing into an
air nodule located in a highly
questionable area of plastic
whale anatomy. This will of
course be embarrassing to his
teens, who are already morti-
fied by the fact that Dad wore
his swim fins to the beach
and sand-whipped 30 sun-
bathers en route to a relative-
ly quiet spot near a keg
draped with bikini tops.
That’s when Mom and Dad
will begin spreading suntan
lotion on themselves as if cre-
ating a protective layer
against the Ebola virus,
slathering every crevice
before putting on matching
Panama Jack sun hats.
They will then hand the
lotion to their sobbing teens,
assuming they haven’t
already run off to drown
themselves in the surf.
What if your kids are
already in college with spring
break plans of their own? No
problem! Surprise them at the
Chick en Coop
O N M A P L E
Hop on over and see
what the Easter Bunny
brought to fi ll those
Easter Baskets!
Community
Easter Egg Hunt
at Miller Park Field Area
18th and Oak Streets
Saturday
March 26
10:00 A.M.
Ages 1-10
Come and
enjoy the fun!
129 Maple Street , Old Town Florence
541-991-7739
Personal Services
Housekeeping
Grocery shopping
Co-hosted by
Siuslaw High School
Interact Club, & The
Rotary Club of
Florence.
Odd jobs & Errands
Pick up & Delivery
Pet Services
Helpinghandspettaxi.com
Readers Choice Voted #1 Realtor
Pet sitting
Medical care (Out of town services available)
Taxi service
541-991-9681
Veterinary visits
Helping hands and paws live happy healthy lives.
All jobs are negotiable and scheduled by appointment only.
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