SIUSLAW NEWS ❚ WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 2016
7 A
Tax terminology explained (sort of)
box of Kleenex.
Ned
As I sat staring at this
Hickson year’s tax booklet, I noticed
For the last several years
I’ve promised myself I
would do my taxes early.
And for the last several
years I have found myself
Tokyo-drifting my way to
the post office at 11:59 p.m.
April 14.
This year, I was deter-
mined to get an early start.
After clearing off the
kitchen table and finding an
outlet for the calculator, I
sat down to do my taxes. As
always, I made sure to have
all the necessary documenta-
tion and forms, like W4s,
tax forms, bank statements,
insurance reports, tax sched-
ules and, most importantly, a
a special section of “Tax
Terms,” which is an alpha-
betical listing of terms one
may encounter during the
tax preparation process.
Each term is followed by
a brief description meant to
enlighten the truth-seeking
taxpayer through “real-life”
examples. For instance, the
IRS uses “Jane” and “John”
to illustrate the term
“Ability to Pay.”
In this scenario, Jane is
filthy rich, with homes on
both coasts that she visits by
way of her own Lear jet.
By comparison, John
earns what the IRS calls a
“more modest salary,” which
affords him a flashlight and
a camper shell to live in.
The only thing these two
have in common is the oil
industry: Jane is an execu-
tive in it, and John had his
SUV re-possessed.
According to the booklet,
due to their income dispari-
ty, “John and Jane do NOT
pay the same amount of
taxes, because their ability
to pay differs vastly.”
This brings us to a term
not included in the hand-
book: “Highly-paid tax
lawyer.”
In this example, Jane is
able to filter her $1.6 mil-
lion earnings through a
maze of tax shelters and
special credits before wiring
an undisclosed amount into
a Swiss bank account, leav-
ing her with a taxable
income of: $6.28.
John, who files his return
on the 1040 EZ form, is
entitled to a refund that,
coincidently, adds up to
exactly...
$6.28!
See? “Jane” PAYS and
“John” gets a tax CREDIT!
All together, there are 65
terms listed in the hand-
book, many of which seem
self-explanatory until you
read them closely.
I’ve taken the liberty of
paraphrasing some of the
more complex terms that
you may encounter before
now and tax day.
1040EZ:
1.) Simplest tax form
offered by the IRS.
2.) A wealthy, white rap-
per.
Gross Income: The dollar
amount that appears in the
box after “federal income
tax withheld.”
Adjusted Really Gross
Income: The amount left
over after completing your
taxes.
Bank interest income: If
you make more than $400
from your savings account,
the IRS is interested.
Tax Shift: What the aver-
age taxpayer does in their
seat after determining
his/her adjusted gross
income.
Dependent: A child, par-
ent, spouse or household pet
with a human-sounding
name, such as “Fred” or
“Sally,” whom the creative
taxpayer can claim on
his/her income taxes.
Estate Tax: The amount
of tax on a deceased individ-
ual’s estate that has been
passed on to surviving fami-
ly members. Short explana-
tion: Something my children
will never have to worry
about.
Passive Income: The
response most writers get
when people ask them about
their annual income, i.e.,
“Thanks, but I’ll pass.”
Duty Deposit: What most
taxpayers would like to
include with their IRS pay-
ment.
While there are plenty of
other terms in the new IRS
tax glossary, it’s probably a
good idea to stop here.
To be honest, I’m already
feeling taxed.
Ned is a syndicated columnist
with News Media Corporation.
His book, “Humor at the Speed of
Life,” is available online at Port
Hole Publications, Amazon Books
and Barnes & Noble. Write to him
at nedhickson@icloud.com.
WE’VE MOVED! KCST winter auction on the air this weekend
Stop in and see us at
1751 12th Street, Florence
(Next to Papa Murphy’s)
Open Monday - Saturday, 9am-5pm
SAME GREAT SERVICE,
We h
SAME GREAT STAFF
ave
A
541-997-2726
1751 12th Street, Florence
uss
Pupp ie
ies!
Steve and Cathy
Carter
Coast and Valley Cleaning
We offer janitorial and cleaning services for commercial facilities
and for homes. Hard wood fl oor, tile, carpet and upholstery
cleaning, stain removal available. Power washing of your patio and
driveway is offered. We will take away your yard debris too.
Call or email us to meet and discuss your specifi c needs and
provide you with a quote.
CnVCleaning@gmail.com
(541) 790-1454
More than 140 items will be
sold to the highest bidder
Friday and Saturday, Feb. 12
and 13, during Coast Radio’s
annual Winter Auction.
Whether you’re a “foodie,” a
contractor, a local resident or
just passing through, there’s
something for everyone.
Because it is not a charity
auction, Coast Radio General
Manager Jon Thompson says
buyers will reap the benefits of
purchasing more than $30,000
worth of goods and services at
sometimes extreme discounts.
“Everything comes from our
advertisers” says Thompson,
“They barter merchandise for
additional advertising, then we
pass it on at a discount to our
listeners.”
Bidding will begin Friday at
9:15 a.m., and continues until
the first 85 items are sold that
day; likely between 2 p.m. and
3 p.m. The final 55 items will
be sold the next day, Saturday,
starting at 9:10 a.m. and contin-
uing until everything is gone.
Items include a wood stove;
mirror or glass replacement;
paint; tools; carpet and carpet
HOLLOWAY & ASSOCATIONS, LLC
CERTIFIED PUBLIC ACCOUNTANTS
Focused on Your Financial Health...Protecting Your Assets
Specializing in Tax Strategies, Estate Planning and Trusts
Corporate • LLC’s • Individual
Tax Consulting & Preparation
Bookkeeping and Accounting Services
Payroll Services
Karla D. Holloway, CPA
Rod McCulloch, CPA
Eldercare & Senior Services
Bill Paying, Reconcilling Bank Accounts, Income and Expenditures
Summary, Domestic Payroll, Year end Tax Planning and Preparation
Call NOW
For Your
Complimentary
Consultation!
COURTESY PHOTO
KCST Coast Radio auction merchandise is piling up at the radio office.
cleaning; pest control; and sev-
eral pieces of art.
Bidders will also find furni-
ture as well, including a dual
power recliner with a power lift
on one side. Another is a very
nice “made in Oregon” Stanton
loveseat.
Go online at www.kcst.com
to see the entire list of 140
items, which includes tickets to
the Oregon Jamboree; The
Cape Blanco and Willamette
Country Music Festival; golf
and lodging gift certificates;
and dining opportunities from
more than two dozen different
area eateries.
The average discounts range
between 40 to 50 percent,
according to Thompson.
“But we occasionally have
some screaming deals,” said
Thompson. “We had one year
that something sold for 10 cents
on the dollar.”
Online, items up for auction
are numbered, making it easier
to follow along.
Thompson said some listen-
ers have told him they spend all
day, both days, listening for the
best value. Others keep track of
what item is up for sale, double
check the list, and then tune in
seriously when something
comes up they want to buy.
A complete list is also
included in today’s edition of
the Siuslaw News.
Bidding is simple, but it can
be even simpler by pre-register-
ing. To do that, just call the sta-
tion at 541-997-9136 during
regular business hours prior to
Friday morning.
“It doesn’t cost anything to
register, nor does it obligate
you to anything,” said
Thompson. “By pre-register-
ing, you get a unique bid num-
ber. That way, all you have to
give operators when you bid is
your number instead of having
to give us your full name and
phone number each time.”
The auction airs on KCST
106.9 FM and KCFM AM
1250/FM 104.1/FM 103.1.
The regular format on both
stations will be suspended dur-
ing bidding.
“We keep three items active
on the block at any one time”,
Thompson said. “We describe
them, invite bidders to call, and
then after a few minutes we
will close it out.”
Some items prove extremely
popular and often bidders will
get competitive. When that
happens, the item will stay
active until all the bidders drop
out except the winner.
The station maintains a
phone room with plenty of lines
and operators to take the bids
and record the sales.
Winning bidders will need to
pick up their buy at the station,
4480 Highway 101, during reg-
ular business hours within 10
days. Winners can pay with
cash, a local check or by using
a Visa or Mastercard.
There is a wide variety of
items with a broad value. Items
will range from less than $50 to
more than $3,700 in value.
“But,” says Thompson,
“you’ll only want to focus on
how much you save.”
The auction on Coast Radio
is one of two held each year by
the stations. The other is the
“Hot 100 Radio Auction” held
in August of each year.
541-997-3434
karla@fl orencecpas.com
733 Highway 101, Florence, Oregon 97439
Serving Florence for 37 Years!
Liing Life to the Fullest & Feeling Younger Longer
L OOKING
ZĞƟƌĞŵĞŶƚ>ŝǀŝŶŐĂƚŝƚ͛ƐĞƐƚ͊dŚĞ^ŚŽƌĞǁŽŽĚƚĂŬĞƐ
ĐĂƌĞŽĨĞǀĞƌLJƚŚŝŶŐͶϯŵĞĂůƐĂĚĂLJ͕LJŽƵƌŽǁŶƉƌŝǀĂƚĞ
ĚŝŶŝŶŐ ƌŽŽŵ͕ Ăůů ƵƟůŝƟĞƐ ĐŽǀĞƌĞĚͶ ŶŽ ŵŽƌĞ ŐƌŽĐĞƌLJ
ƐŚŽƉƉŝŶŐͶŶŽĐůĞĂŶŝŶŐʹŶŽLJĂƌĚǁŽƌŬ͘
FOR MORE
NEWS ?
&ĞďƌƵĂƌLJϭϮƚŚϮͲϯ͗ϯϬsĂůĞŶƟŶĞŌĞƌŶŽŽŶ^ŽĐŝĂů͊
(541) 997-6111
375 9th St
Florence, OR 97439
www.spruce-point.com
Learn how to embrace life changes while managing your health
Maintaining a Positive Mental Outlook on Life
Thursday, January 21st, 2pm
Learn how to maintain a positive outlook on life while you age.
Learn How to Keep Your Memory Sharp
Thursday, February 18th, 2pm
As we age, we start to notice some changes in our ability to remember
things. Discover ways to keep your memory sharp and fresh at any age.
Diabetes and Diet—Making Food Choices That Work for You
Thursday, March 17th, 2pm
Learn about diabetes prevention, management, and care. Understand
diabetes in a simpler and clearer way than ever before.
6SUXFH6W)ORUHQFHa--
S IUSLAW N EWS
VKRUHZRRGUHWLUHPHQWVKPRUJ
Follow us on
Twitter
@S IUSLAW N EWS
Or follow our
news staff on
Twitter:
Ned Hickson:
@SNews_Sports
Jack Davis:
@SNews_Jack
Chantelle Meyer:
@SNews_Chantelle