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SIUSLAW NEWS ❚ WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20, 2016
Dignity is a little easier to swallow with hot sauce
clutching a bottle of Tabasco
Ned
and trying not to be seen by
Hickson my neighbors, I came to real-
Within our lives there are
certain moments that inspire a
deeper understanding of our-
selves. I experienced such an
epiphany yesterday morning
during a quiet moment of
introspection; crouched in the
backyard; sprinkling dog
poop with hot sauce.
To clarify, I was not
attempting to create the
world’s most disgusting
Cajun appetizer. According to
a book on canine behavior,
this would train our dog to
avoid eating his “leftovers.” It
was in that moment, while
ize that somewhere along the
way providing our dog with
decent manners had become
more important than main-
taining my personal dignity.
How did this happen?
I’m a 49-year-old man who
survived the diaper phases of
two children — both of
whom were heavy eaters. I’ve
had my share of high profile,
low-dignity diaper changes,
one of which required quick
thinking, commando-like pre-
cision, and a paper plate. I’ve
sat across from my four-year-
old son at a busy restaurant in
downtown San Francisco,
handed him a cheese stick
appetizer, and watched him
yak up what appeared to be
everything he’d consumed
since graduating to solid
foods. I tried to salvage the
situation by waiting for a lull
in gastrol activity and then
racing him into the men’s
room. And let me just say had
the rest rooms been clearly
marked, we probably
would’ve made it.
What got me through those
times, of course, was know-
ing, as a parent, I could look
forward to eventually becom-
ing an embarrassment to my
children once they entered
middle school.
However, as I crouched
over Stanley’s latest pile with
my Tabasco bottle at the
ready, one thought kept run-
ning through my mind:
You can’t embarrass a dog.
Particularly one with ques-
tionable intelligence.
This meant I had either (a)
matured to the point of not
caring what others thought of
me based on their own one-
dimensional perception, or (b)
succumbed to the realization
that the last of my dignity had
been wrung out into a mop
bucket in San Francisco.
In either case, it meant I
had moved on to a new phase
in my life. A time that will
eventually prepare me for my
later years, when I’m secure
enough in myself that the
opinions of others — or even
the basic rules of traffic — no
longer matter. However,
reaching that level of self
assuredness is still years
away, which is why, after
noticing I’d been crouched
over the same pile for several
minutes, I quickly sprinkled it
and moved on.
As far as I can tell, Stanley
is no longer interested in his
“leftovers.” I know this
because he has stopped com-
ing in from outside and stand-
ing with his tongue in the
water bowl.
At the same time, it’s
proven to be a trade-off since
I can’t put Tabasco on my
eggs without getting queasy.
The important thing is that
the experience has allowed
me to achieve some personal
growth thanks to a few
moments of introspection
about fodderhood.
Ned is a syndicated columnist
with News Media Corporation.
His book, “Humor at the Speed of
Life,” is available online at Port
Hole Publications, Amazon Books
and Barnes & Noble. Write to him
at nedhickson@icloud.com
www.theshedd.org
SWC to offer free native plants
MAPLETON
—
The
Siuslaw Watershed Council’s
(SWC) 17th annual native
plant distribution is coming
soon.
Distribution day will be Feb.
13. River, creek, and lakeside
landowners may be eligible to
receive free native plants.
Trees planted along streams
help reduce erosion, filter
nutrients and keep the water
cool for salmon and trout.
The SWC will once again
provide free native plants for
waterside (riparian) planting in
the Siuslaw Basin and Coastal
Lakes Area.
Call the SWC office for
more information on each
available plant or visit www.
siuslaw.org/native-plant-distri
bution for updates on current
availability, then determine
which plants will work best for
your site conditions and let us
know which of these plants are
on your wish list.
Maximum request per
landowner is 300 plants. SWC
staff can also help advise you
on plant selection and place-
ment. Send requests ASAP
because supplies are limited.
Orders will be taken through
Feb. 6.
For more information, con-
tact Kate Harnedy at 541-268-
3044, or email nativeplants@
siuslaw.org.
This project is made possi-
ble through a grant from the
Coast Range Stewardship
Fund (USFS) and private indi-
vidual donations.
rsar y
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A
A 20th Swing!
Ye a r of
In The Mood!
In the Swing, 1939-42
Sat , January 30, 2:00 pm
Sat,
Florence Events Ctr: 541.997.1994
Mo’s
Mo’s
Hi, Welcome Restaurant
to
®
~ FEATURED LOW-CARB SELECTIONS ~
HALIBUT FISH AND CHIPS SANDWICH
SALMON: Grilled, Poached, or Blackened
CHICKEN BREAST: Boneless, Skinless Breast of Chicken
for only $12.95
SHRIMP SKEWERS: 2 Grilled Shrimp Skewers
All of the above are served with
and Steamed
for dessert...
Green Beans or Mixed
Veggies and a Shrimp Dinner Salad
PEACH OR MARIONBERRY COBBLER $4.25
NEW ITEMS
Every Month Mo's has brought in special "Motivation for Kids"
BBQ PORK RIBS: Baby Back Pork Ribs with
tables which raise money for local charities that are devoted to helping
the wellbeing of local children.
month
Headstart
James This
Gang
BBQ
Sauce of
Florence is the local charity being honored.
the
BLACKENED SALMON CEASAR SALAD
Mo’s Old
Town, Florence • Daily 11 am - 8 pm
®
Mo’s
Town,
Florence
• Daily
11 am - 8 pm
Serving Old
Bowls
of comfort
for Over
50 Years
Serving Bowls of comfort for Over 50 Years • 541-997-2185
Get ready for game day with Texas chili
January marks the dawn of a new year, but for football fans,
the i rst month of the calendar year also means the playof s are
about to begin. Football gatherings can be fun for ardent and
novice fans alike. One of the reasons such get-togethers appeal to
so many people is food, which typically plays a big role on game
days. Hosts who want to wow their guests with homemade chili
can try their hands at the following recipe for “Texas Chili With
Chipotle Cream” from Neal Corman’s “Virgil’s Barbecue Road Trip
Cookbook” (St. Martin’s Press).
TEXAS CHILI WITH CHIPOTLE CREAM
Serves 4 to 6
Chipotle Cream
101⁄2
ounces goat cheese
2 tablespoons pureed chipotle in adobo sauce
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons heavy whipping cream
Juice of 1⁄2 lemon
Juice of 2 limes
Zest of 1⁄2 lime
1⁄2 teaspoon kosher salt
Chili
2 tablespoons Texas Chili Spice Mix (see below)
1⁄4 cup canola oil
2 pounds skirt steak
2 teaspoons kosher salt
1⁄3 pound sliced bacon, diced
4 cups i nely diced yellow onions
2 cups i nely diced green peppers
1⁄2 cup chopped garlic
1 28-ounce can crushed tomatoes, drained
2 tablespoons dark brown sugar
2 tablespoons dried Mexican oregano
2 tablespoons Texas-style chili powder
(use 3 to 4 tablespoons for a thicker chili)
3 tomatillos, rinsed and diced
3 tablespoons corn masa fl our (recommended: Masaca)
2 tablespoons pureed chipotle in adobo sauce
5 cups beef broth
2 16-ounce cans black beans
1⁄2 bunch cilantro, coarsely chopped, divided
1 13-ounce bag tortilla chips, crushed
1. Combine all the ingredients for the chipotle cream — except
for the zest — in a food processor. Process until evenly incorporated.
2. Remove to a medium bowl and fold in the zest. Refrigerate
for at least 2 hours before serving.
3. Mix the Texas Chili Spice Mix with the oil to make a paste.
Dust the skirt steak with salt, then baste with the paste.
4. Marinate for 1 hour and then grill over high heat to medium
rare. Set aside and allow to rest.
5. In a large, heavy-bottom pot, render the diced bacon until it
is crispy. Add the onions, green peppers and garlic, and sauté until
slightly brown.
6. Add the tomatoes, brown sugar, oregano, chili powder,
tomatillos, fl our, and chipotle. Heat for 3 minutes, or until the
mixture begins to thicken.
7. Add the beef broth, bring to a boil, and reduce to a simmer.
Simmer uncovered for 1 hour.
8. Cut the steak against the grain into small cubes. Add the
steak and beans to the chili, and simmer for an additional 20
minutes.
9. Add most of the chopped cilantro and serve over crushed
tortilla chips with a dollop of chipotle cream and a sprinkling of
fresh cilantro on top.
Texas Chili Spice Mix
Makes 1 cup
Great Food &
Specialty Cocktails
Enjoy an extraordinary meal
paired with a classic cocktail or
handcrafted martini tonight…
our recipe for a perfect evening.
Happy Hour
Monday-Friday 3:00pm to 5:00pm
Enjoy discount food and drink specials at the bar!
2
2
6
4
4
tablespoons guajillo chili powder
tablespoons chipotle powder
tablespoons ground cumin
tablespoons dry Mexican oregano
tablespoons sweet paprika
Where good friends &
great food come together!
1285 Bay Street
in Old Town Florence
(541) 902-8338
Combine all the ingredients in a medium mixing bowl.
Transfer to a covered container and store in a cool, dry place.
COME TRY OUR NEW LOCAL HUCKLEBERRY VODKA MARTINI
Happy New Year!!
We will re-open February 2nd
Open for Lunch & Dinner
•
Lunch Specials Daily
Reservations Suggested.
165 M APLE S T . • 541-997-9811•
The Grill & Lounge
at Sandpines
WEEKDAY
LUNCH SPECIAL
2 FOR THE PRICE OF 1
O FFER AVAILAB LE M ON -F RI 12-4 P M
WWW . MAPLESTREETGRILLE . COM
VALENTINE’S DAY DINNER
S urfside Restaurant
Sweetheart Dinner
Starters:
Appetizer:
Entrees:
Desserts:
F resh Tossed Greens
Lobster Croquettes, Citrus Shrimp or Baked Brie
Lobster, New York Steak or Chicken Cordon Bleu
Red Velvet Cake or Crepe Suzette
$32 per guest
E XPIRES 1/29/16
1201 35th Street at Kingwood, Florence
Highway 101 & 35 St.
541-997-4623
Reservations Needed
541-997-8263