SIUSLAW NEWS ❚ WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 30, 2015
7 A
Don’t forget the cat when taking down your Christmas tree
mid-section of our tree that
Ned
our cat realizes she can no
Hickson longer retract her claws.
For our family, packing up
the Christmas decorations is
never easy. Not only because
it means the official end of
the holiday season, but also
because it means it’s time to
pry the cat out of the
Christmas tree.
What makes this process
especially difficult is sap.
You see, it’s not until after
spending the better part of
December attached to the
A few years ago, this actu-
ally resulted in a front page
story in the National Inquirer
under the headline:
Holiday Tree sprouts
CAT TUMOR!
It’s not like we haven’t
tried to keep this tragedy
from happening. In fact,
we’ve even taken our cat to a
pet psychologist, thinking that
maybe she suffers from a
traumatic experience that is
somehow triggered by the site
of Christmas trees — such as
an unresolved conflict with a
strand of tinsel.
After six weeks of therapy
(equal to eight years in cat
time), the only thing the doc-
tor was able to tell us for cer-
tain was that our cat had been
Shirley MacLaine in a previ-
ous life, which, according to
him, isn’t all that unusual.
In short: He had no expla-
nation for her behavior.
This, of course, lead to my
own — admittedly less scien-
tific — diagnosis, which is
that our cat is just freaking
crazy. This forced us to take
drastic measures this year in
hopes of avoiding another
appearance in the tabloids.
To achieve this, we came
up with the idea of spraying
our entire tree with WD-40.
Initially, this seemed to be
the answer as we watched our
cat slide down the trunk and
into the water bowl. But as
we soon discovered, while
WD-40 kept our cat out of the
tree, it also kept any orna-
ments from staying on for
more than six seconds.
This left us with a handful
of desperate ideas, such as
moving one of our stereo
speakers under the tree and
playing “Dogs Barking Jingle
Bells” 24 hours a day.
That idea was dropped
pretty quickly.
After six barks, to be exact.
We also toyed with the idea
of decorating a dogwood tree,
the logic being that a cat
wouldn’t go near a tree with
the word “dog” in its name.
That suggestion was nixed
after realizing we’d first have
to teach our cat to read.
What all of this is leading
up to is something you’ve
probably already guessed,
which is that, once again, the
Christmas tree in our living
room will remain there until it
is completely brown and
withered, and the sap has
weakened enough that our cat
can safely be detached.
In the meantime, we have
already begun planning for
next year, when we’ll try to
coax our cat to move high
enough on the tree that we
can use her as a top orna-
ment.
Ned is a syndicated columnist
with News Media Corporation.
His book, “Humor at the Speed of
Life,” is available online at Port
Hole Publications, Amazon Books
and Barnes & Noble. Write to him
at nedhickson@icloud.com.
Deadline tomorrow to apply for city committee positions
Care to hear a little secret?
Not all
hearing aids
sound the
same.
Would you like to see more
public involvement in the City
of Florence to make sure your
voice is heard? Would you like
to make a difference and help
contribute to the goals and
objectives of the city as a
whole?
Then consider applying for
one of the open positions on
one of the city’s committees.
The deadline for applications is
tomorrow, Dec. 31.
These positions offer citi-
zens an excellent opportunity
Water
Gail Leslie, Au. D.
Sandi Ybarra, Au. D.,
Doctors of Audiology
Call to schedule a consultation.
You’ll find we’re expert listeners.
FLORENCE: 541-997-7617
1525 12th Street, Suite 2
EUGENE: 541-686-3505 VOICE / TTD
401 East 10th Avenue, Suite 110
from 1A
HWPUD is coordinating a
water truck to deliver water to
the reservoir in the area.
“We have a few folks calling
us about water usage,” Neville
said. “The neighborhoods have
already reduced water usage by
to volunteer their services on
significant matters.
The following boards and
committees are currently filling
vacancies for varying term
lengths, with positions set to
begin Feb. 1, 2016.
• Audit Committee - 1 open
position
• Budget Committee - 3
open positions
• Environmental Manage-
ment Advisory Committee
(EMAC) - 3 open positions
• Florence Urban Renewal
Agency (FURA) - 2 open posi-
tions
• Florence Urban Renewal
Budget Committee - 1 open
position
• Planning Commission - 2
open positions
• Transit Advisory Commit-
tee - 4 open positions (1 for a
high school student)
Applications are available at
Florence City Hall, 250
Highway 101, and can be
downloaded from the city’s
website www.ci.florence.or.us.
City Hall is open Monday
through Friday; 8 a.m. to noon
and 1 to 5 p.m.
All qualified persons are
encouraged to apply.
For details regarding the
duties and responsibilities of
these bodies, residency require-
ments of applicants, term
lengths or any other questions,
contact City Recorder Kelli
Weese at 541-997-3437.
Applicants will be inter-
viewed by the City Council on
Jan. 13 and 14, 2016.
25 percent in just one week.
It’s been a good effort.”
The water curtailment
includes prohibiting the out-
door use of water, adding no
new connections to the lines,
filling household washers to
capacity and notifying the PUD
immediately of a leak.
HWPUD will send a letter to
area residents with more detail
about the curtailment and water
shortage.
“This is part of running a
water district and living on the
coast,” Neville said.
He was hopeful about the
response from residents.
“We really do have a great
community here,” he said.
Residents who are unsure of
their water usage or would like
help in reducing usage can call
HWPUD at 541-997-2446 or
go to www.hwpud.com.
__________
would cost between $40,000
and $50,000.
At one time the property
housed a boat repair facility.
Commissioner Terry Duman
asked if the port had the
$40,000 to $50,000 in the cur-
rent budget to do the tests.
“We do not have that
money,” McClure said. “And
we don’t know if we need to
do that.”
Don Wilbur told the board
that he had discussions with
one other individual that had
“expressed serious interest in
the property. The only differ-
ence in our contracts is you
folks (the port) have it at no
interest and he would pay
prime plus two.”
Caputo expressed concerns
over the port’s responsibilities
to taxpayers.
“My concern is I definitely
want to protect the voters,” he
said. “I want to make sure that
property is not contaminated.
Follow Chantelle on Twitter
@SNews_Chantelle. Email her at
cmeyer@thesiuslawnews.com.
www.hearingassociates.net
Port
from 1A
Hearing is believing
www.TheSiuslawNews.com
The port received an esti-
mate that a Phase II
Environmental Impact Study
Our New 2016
Community Calendar
is Here!
T he
Chick en Coop
O N M A P L E
N
O
G
E
R
O
,
E
C
N
E
R OMMUNITY CALENDAR
FLO
2016 C
Christmas
items on
sale now!
129 Maple Street , Old Town Florence
541-991-7739
$
by
Produced
ews.com
w.siuslawn
w News • ww
the Siusla
5
Subscribe to the Siuslaw News
before December 31, 2015
and you will receive our new
2016 Community Calendar
Present or renewing subscribers will receive calendars
in their newspaper on December 9th.
We owe it to our voters not to
spend any of the port’s money
unwisely. We probably should
have more time if we are
going to look at the environ-
mental (issues).”
Wilbur said, “A level II
(Environmental Impact Study)
would probably kill the deal
for everybody.”
Commissioner Duman sug-
gested the board continue
negotiations with the Wilburs
for one more week to try and
reach an agreement.
McClure reminded the
board that there was currently
no signed agreement and the
earnest money agreement had
not been signed by either
party.
In other business, the port
agreed not to renew a one-year
listing agreement with
Berkshire Hathaway for the
40-acre Pacific View industrial
property that will expire on
March 31, 2016.
The board approved a
motion by commissioner
Duman to allow Berkshire
Hathaway to be realtor of
record only for the 40-acre
Pacific View parcel and no
other port-owned property.
The board also voted to
extend McClure’s interim
manager contract until Feb. 1,
2016.
__________
Follow Jack on Twitter
@SNews_Jack. Email him at
jack@thesiuslawnews.com.
It’s not like her.
Mom has always
been so patient,
but now when I
ask her questions
she gets angry.
We can help.
Call us with questions
about aging
and Alzheimers.
1-855-ORE-ADRC
HelpForAlz.org
Contact us at:
www.TheSiuslawNews.com
or 541-997-3441
OREGON DEPARTMENT OF
HUMAN SERVICES PROGRAM