SIUSLAW NEWS ❚ TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 2015
7 A
Insurance premium up? You can thank my clumsy dog
Ned
Hickson
Each year, we gather as a
family to have our pets
blessed on St. Francis Day.
We do this because we want
to give our pets every advan-
tage, particularly if there's a
chance — through divine
intervention — that our
Chocolate Labrador’s IQ
could be raised above that of
a standard carrot.
I know this is supposed to
be a general blessing situa-
tion, but I think God would
agree there was a serious
oversight during Stanley's
creation process.
I know He is very busy.
I know He sees all.
But maybe He was also
trying to catch the season
finale of “Survivor.”
Whatever the reason,
somewhere in the world
there's a dog with two brains.
Undoubtedly, its owners are
very happy. They don’t care
that their dog’s enormous cra-
nium causes people and other
dogs to stare. That’s because
their dog is smart.
Their dog has an instinctive
understanding of things like
gravity. These owners give
thanks to St. Francis each day
because their dog, in spite of
its bulbous cranium, would
“Pies Plus”
never high-center itself on a
coffee table in front of com-
pany.
Stanley’s problem is that he
tries to move like a gazelle
when, in fact, he has the dex-
terity of a bull moose. He
may THINK he can leap over
the back of the couch from a
seated position, but repeated
attempts have proven other-
wise.
I’ve given up trying to
explain this to people; I sim-
ply tell them he must be
choking on something and
trying to give himself the
Heimlich maneuver. It’s less
embarrassing than the truth,
which, more often than not,
prompts people to react as if
their very life depended on
not upsetting the lunatic dog
before Animal Control
arrives.
However, Stanley does
come in handy when trying to
get rid of pushy sales people.
All I have to do is open the
door wide enough for them to
glimpse a 60-pound dog
repeatedly leaping chest-first
onto the couch and then
falling to the floor. On the
rare occasion a sales person
makes it through their entire
spiel, I've yet to have one
come inside even when invit-
ed.
I should mention that
Stanley is more than a year
old. The fact he is still doing
things like this concerns me.
So much so that I began look-
ing for a treatment. After
hours of research and a
lengthy discussion with my
vet, we reached a disturbing
prognosis for Stanley:
There is no treatment.
St Andrews Episcopal Church
19th and Tamarack, 541-997-6600
Are you looking for an agent
you can trust?
Here’s a sure
sign you
found one.
Darci Clark
Real Estate Broker
If you’re buying or selling a home
give me a call!
541.999.2346 • www.dclark.bhhsnw.com
Florence Police
Nov. 1
Arrest, with warrant, was
reported in the 1400 block of
Ninth Street.
Accident, with injury, was
reported at milepost 24 on
Highway 126.
Alarm was reported in the
first block of Sea Watch Place.
Trespass was reported in the
Glenada area.
Theft was reported in the
4700 block of Highway 101.
Burglary was reported in the
1600 block of fourth Street.
Nov. 2
Criminal mischief was
reported in the Florence area.
Theft from vehicle was
reported in the 400 block of Ivy
Street.
Theft was reported in the
3200 block of Munsel Lake
Road.
Water rescue was reported in
the first block of Shoreline
Drive.
Dispute was reported in the
1600 block of 22nd Street.
Trespass was reported in the
1500 block of 10th Street.
Alarm was reported in the
900 block of Jasper Lane.
Assault was reported in the
1500 block of Ninth Street.
Nov. 3
Alarm was reported in the
83200 block of Kendall Lane.
Child neglect was reported in
the 1300 block of 12th Street.
Theft was reported in the
1000 block of Ninth Street.
Alarm was reported in the
2500 block of Highway 101.
Assault was reported in the
5400 block of Leavitt Loop.
Nuisance was reported in the
1200 block of Ninth Street.
Accident, without injury, was
reported at Rhododendron
Drive and Shelter Cove Way.
Loud noise was reported in
the 4300 block of Spruce Street.
Fire was reported on Glenada
Road.
Forgery was reported in the
1500 block of Ninth Street.
Family Owned
SPOTLIGHT
All About Olives – David R. and Lynne Twombly
1411 Bay Street – 541-997-3174 – Open seven days, 10-5 – www.allaboutolives.us
Gourmet goodies await at the corner of
“Anything edible is available for tasting,”
Bay and Maple streets, with every kind of olive
Lynne said. “It’s not just a store but a warm,
imaginable, plus a vast selection of infused
interactive family experience.”
oils and balsamic vinegars to make any palate
Garlic lovers will go bananas over the
by Catherine J. Rourke
salivate.
Jalapeno, Habanero and Mustard Dill fl avors.
Owner Lynne Twombly manages the store
But like the store’s namesake, olives predominate,
along with another family business, Central Coast Disposal, with with over 20 varieties stuff ed with cheese, hot peppers, pimentos
her husband Dave and daughter Clarita Th rall. Th e Twomblys and more. Try the Happy Hour Almond or Hickory Smoked.
moved to Florence in 1991 and opened the doors — and olive
Th e store also carries unique housewares, kitchen gadgets
jars — of their second enterprise in April 2011.
and tableware. Select your favorite gourmet items to create
“We love olives and thought it would be a fun shop for a beautiful customized gift basket for holidays and special
locals and tourists alike that refl ects the small-town fl avor of Bay occasions.
Street,” Lynne said.
Olives rank high among the healthiest foods for preventing
Clarita serves as co-buyer while handling the bookkeeping heart disease, high blood pressure and stroke. So stuff yourself
and accounts receivable. Lynne, a mother of four with two silly with some Sicilian Double-Stuff ed and don’t forget the Dirty
grandchildren, attributes her success to staff and family Martini Mix on the way out.
teamwork.
“My employees really care about our customers,” she said.
“Being one big family really helps. We believe in big smiles and
friendly service.”
All About Olives carries a delicious array of treats for
upcoming holiday feasts: pickled vegetables, balsamic vinegars,
stuff ed olives, dips, jams, oils, garlic, tapenades, bruschettas and
hot sauces.
All the extra virgin olive oils are cold-pressed from the
orchard to the bottle in fewer than 48 hours. Natural fl avors
range from garlic, rosemary and basil infusions to buttery, fruity
and peppery fi nishes. Balsamic vinegars include Blackberry
Pearl, Mandarin Orange and even Milk Chocolate for baking.
Pit Stop
A
As it turns out, “Jake” was
fine and the family had left
for the day. Firefighters spec-
ulate that the dog had chewed
a hole in the gas line when a
nearby water heater clicked
on, causing a blast powerful
enough to level the house.
This incident really put
things into perspective for
me. Come next year, when
we gather our pets for St.
Francis Day, I’ll just pray for
Stanley’s continued good
health and happiness.
That’s assuming we still
have a roof over our heads.
Ned is a syndicated columnist
with News Media Corporation.
This has been an excerpt from his
book, “Humor at the Speed of
Life,” is available online at Port
Hole Publications, Amazon Books
and Barnes & Noble. Write to him
at nedhickson@icloud.com.
POLICE LOG
Homemade pies, arts and craft s.
Join us
SATURDAY, NOV. 14TH, 9AM-2PM
BUSINESS
At least, not for him.
But I did find out that
Stanley is not alone.
According to a study conduct-
ed by Tesco Pet Insurance in
England, Chocolate Labs are
officially the clumsiest breed
of dog on the planet. Tesco’s
study showed that Labs are
twice as likely to hurt them-
selves while attempting some-
thing that researchers agreed,
“Requires a crash helmet.”
In addition, 55 percent of
Chocolate Lab owners filed a
claim in the last year for dam-
ages to their home under the
category “Act of Dog.”
Unfortunately, this behav-
ior is present in Labradors
here in the U.S. as well. One
example is a three-month-old
Lab puppy in Oklahoma who
recently blew the roof off his
owner's house.
U
T
O
O
B
L
I
A
V
L
E
L
Child neglect was reported in
the 1600 block of 16th Street.
Disorderly subject was
reported in the 100 block of
Florentine Avenue.
Accident, without injury, was
reported in the 4700 block of
Highway 101.
Disorderly subject was
reported in the 400 block of
Kingwood Street.
Disorderly subject was
reported at Highway 101 and
Ninth Street.
Nov. 4
Theft of services was report-
ed in the 900 block of Highway
101.
Assault was reported in the
1300 block of Bay Street.
Child neglect was reported in
the 1500 block of Airport Road.
Death investigation was con-
ducted in the 1600 block of
Rhododendron Drive.
Burglary was reported in the
1700 block of Pine Court.
Arrest, with warrant, was
reported in the 1600 block of
17th Street.
Nov. 5
Illegal camping, lodging was
reported in the 700 block of
Quince Street.
Arrest, with warrant, was
reported in the 2100 block of
Highway 126.
Theft from vehicle was
reported in the 1600 block of
17th Street.
Arrest, with warrant, was
reported in the 1800 block of
Highway 101.
Loud noise was reported in
the 1600 block of 27th Street.
Harassment was reported in
the 300 block of Ninth Street.
Illegal camping, lodging was
reported in the 700 block of
Quince Street.
Death investigation was con-
ducted in the 3700 block of
Highway 101.
Theft was reported in the
1500 block of 10th Street.
DUII was reported in the first
block of Wild Winds Street.
Dispute was reported in the
2100 block of 24th Street.
Arrest, with warrant, was
reported in the 5600 block of
Highway 101.
Disorderly subject was
reported in the 100 block of
Florentine Avenue.
Nov. 6
Animal abuse was reported
in the 1600 block of
Rhododendron Drive.
Criminal mischief was
reported in the 100 block of
Maple Street.
Theft was reported in the
1700 block of Highway 101.
Alarm was reported in the
800 block of N. Marsh Lane.
Criminal mischief was
reported in the 2000 block of
Willow Street.
Theft was reported in the
1600 block of Pine Court.
Animal abuse was reported
in the first block of Harbor
Street.
Dispute was reported in the
2400 block of Highway 101.
Nov. 7
Fraud was reported in the
1700 block of Willow Loop.
Dispute was reported in the
800 block of Highway 101.
Fire was reported in the
87500 block of Tiernan Road.
Dispute was reported in the
1700 block of Highway 126.
Arrest, with warrant, was
reported in the 1600 block of
Pine Court.
Illegal camping, lodging was
reported in the 1400 block of
Ninth Street.
Nov. 8
Dispute was reported in the
1100 block of Hemlock Street.
Unlawful vehicle entry was
reported at 29th and Spruce
streets.
Alarm was reported in the
1600 block of Rhododendron
Drive.
Alarm was reported in the
83000 block of Siltcoos Station
Road.
Harassment was reported in
the 1300 block of Bay Street.
Illegal camping, lodging was
reported in the 1500 block of
Highway 101.
Burglary was reported in the
100 block of Florentine Avenue.
Harassment was reported in
the 1300 block of 11th Street.
Disorderly subject was
reported in the Florence Area.
Kathleen and Nina’s
Restaurant
Open Daily 6am-3pm
Home style cooking in a friendly
home style dining experience!
We off er a large menu featuring traditional
and house specialty items.
Breakfast and lunch
specials every day!
S
New oils, balsamics, and olives, but we now also have
virgin olive oil skin care products, kitchenware, coasters,
placemats, table runners, aprons, knives and more!
541-997-3174
1141 Bay St. (Formerly Balcony Gourmet) • Old Town Florence
Homemade Breads • Homemade Pies
2015
Siuslaw News
people’s choice
award winner
for Best Pie on
the Coast!
Come in and enjoy breakfast or
lunch with us or order take out.
Call in and we’ll have it
ready for you to pick up!
Our popular breads and pies
are available for carry out as well.
Now taking holiday pie orders, call or drop by.
We will be closed Th anksgiving Day
3611 Highway 101
541-997-7004